22nd Jul2003

The State of MTV in 2003

by Will

What to rant about now? Oh yes, MTV. Woke up this morning to see Video Clash. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the first time that I’ve noticed MTV borrowing program ideas from their European counterparts. I saw Video Clash last summer when I was in London, watching MTV Europe. I saw it and said, “This is a clever idea. If only we had that in the US.” So tell me people, has this been around for awhile and I’m just now noticing, or did I really see the future last year?

All you perverts out there best shed a tear, for the word on the street is that t.A.T.u are going to that little lesbian schoolgirl fantasy in the sky. Ok, they’re not dying, but the brunette’s mad at the redhead (do they even have names?!!) ’cause redhead’s spending too much time with her boyfriend, and the media’s picking up on the fact that “Hey, these two little girls ain’t lesbians after all!” Their manager’s expecting the worse, but it’s not like he hasn’t gotten his mileage out of them.

Who in the HELL gave Pharrell a record deal that included singing?!! Did we learn nothing from Sean “Puffy” Combs/Puffy/Puff Daddy/P.Diddy? Those who can sing: do. Those who can’t: produce. Yeah, I know the ladies love him and he’s cute and all, but that’s not enough.

Speaking of music, why is B2K so hot? I hate to point this out, but they’re simply using ‘Nsync’s moves, two years too late. Normally, White music is stealing from Black (Elvis, anyone?), not vice versa. I see all these concert specials for them, and the girls are going crazy. Not in that ghetto fashion either, but in that “I’m a white girl from Connecticut and I’m gonna marry a Beatle circa 1967” kinda way. I think it’s even sadder that Marquess Houston is joining ’em for this tour. He already had a shot at this when he was in Immature/IMX. Now, he’s all solo and he’s hanging out with kids. Oh, I can’t wait til the day Nick Carter starts hanging out with his brother Aaron just mooch off of his fans. This is the same exact thing.

When did VJ’s stop being cool? Remember 10 years ago, when you had Daisy, Idalis, and Kennedy? These people were too cool to have last names. They were cool BECAUSE they didn’t have last names! Now, I’ve got Hilarie Burton and Kuddush, or whatever that fool’s name is. Hey, a misspelled name does not a cool VJ make? These kids have no personality. The old ones were cool (OK, not the original ones, but that whole 92-99 variety). I used to want to be Simon Rex, but now I’d rather be Kurt Loder