04th May2004

The Trials Of Retail

by Will

Episode Title: “It’s Good Stuff…Even On The Red Line” Episode #: 05102203

Special Guest Star: Ed Cabic

Today was an interesting day. Was late again for what is turning into a week-long streak. Just don’t care anymore. “Law of Diminishing Returns” and all that jazz. No, I’m not that irresponsible. I DO care, but I don’t really feel that it matters. I seem to have different goals for my store than those who are responsible for steering it in the right direction. I constantly observe bad business practices, compounded with a lack of consistency in regards to regulations. Anyway, I had a good reason for being late. I had to find my earring. Yeah, I know it sounds lame, but I’ve got a great story about how I lost it, but I’ll post it another time. Anyway, this was a REAL diamond, and I wasn’t about to take it lying down. Cubic Zirconia, and I’d have been to work on time. Diamonds…not as punctual.

So, I found my earring, but got to work about an hr late because all the buses in N. VA suck, and NEVER run on-schedule. I get to work, and the manager is all upset ’cause I didn’t listen to some order one of my fellow trainees gave me. I told the manager, “Look, you’re a manager and I expect to hear these things from YOU, and frankly I don’t trust the person who gave me that order.” She proceeds to tell me that I have to track down a manager and demand an answer in those situations! Me, the employee, DEMAND something from a manager? Welcome to the Land of Oz. There’s so much diffusion of responsibility in that place, and I’m tired of it.

This job’ll never see a resume, as far as I care. I don’t say this that often, but “I went to Cornell, damn it!” I’m slumming, and we all know it. EVERYONE there is slumming. We all deserve better! Everyday day is a “what the Hell am I doing?” moment. I think we must be going through what slaves felt when they were emancipated. Everyone thinks it was “Howdy-doo, we’s got freedom!”, but it wasn’t like that at all. Many slaves were lost and didn’t really know what to do with their lives. Many stayed with their former masters because they didn’t know anything better. I think we all feel like those slaves. We know it’s bad, but we’re not quite sure of our other options at the moment. So, we put on a smile, and do our time, just waiting for news from the North of better things to come…

I’m just trying to learn about life and people. When I stop learning, I’ll move on. After all, that’s what Esther taught me. I’ve heard so many horror stories of customers calling my coworkers “niggers’ and stuff like that. Just LET them try that on me! I’d LOVE…no, I’d WELCOME the opportunity to face that kind of mess. Anything I do, from a moral perspective, will be justified. I was just standing up for myself. Plain and simple. I’m not talking about anything physical, but I can be pretty witty and cold when pushed to the limit, and I have quite the library of bitterness saved up.

Another common beast is the loud millionairess. Apparently, a lot of women come in, thinking they own the place just because they’re so rich. Let me set the record straight for you ladies: 1) you’re not rich. Either your husband or father is rich. You haven’t worked for anything. You know how I know? It’s because you’re here wasting my time, instead of being at a real job. 2) if you DO have millions of dollars, don’t brag about spending it on the shit at H&M. Hell, that makes me pity you more than anything. If I had your money, I’d be out buying Louis Vuitton, and I mean the real stuff, not the fakes I’ve caught you buying from the Haitian on the street in Georgetown. If you Do have money, I just see you as a cheap bastard, especially considering most of these clothes have the consistency of 2-ply toilet paper. But I digress….

I paid my dues, and put in my 8 hrs. When I was done, I was all set to unwind on the LONG ride home. Right before I get to Metro Center, who should I see? Mr. WVBR himself: Ed Cabic. “It’s good stuff…and good for you!”. He recognized me, and I asked where he was headed. I really had to make my connection, so I told him I’d spoken to Lip and knew that they’d all been hanging out, so I’d see him soon. I hope I didn’t come off as a dick. I’m always worried about that….