15th May2004

I’m Sure, In Some Places, It Would’ve Been Considered A Delicacy…

by Will

The other day, Natasha and I had an adventure. We went to Neisha Thai Cuisine behind Tysons, and the waiter was a complete a-hole to us. We’d been there just a few days before, and the same guy had been the same a-hole.

We had no silverware, no plates, and when they brought the food, the portions were smaller than they usually were. She’d been to the place without me, and the service had been fine, so I started getting all paranoid thinking, “What if they’re doing this because of me? They don’t like the fact that I’m Black…”

Anyway, before we were done, she bites into a spring roll, and a tiny bug crawls out. Since most of the food was gone, it’s not like we could send anything back. To make this doubly bad was the fact that this was her second discovery. The first time we went, she found a hair, but wasn’t sure if it was hers, or if it had been in the food the whole time, which is why we decided to try the place again.

So, we call the waiter about this bug, and he’s still A-hole of the Year. He tries to say that bug couldn’t have been cooked in the food because the hot temperature would’ve killed it. OK, Mr. Wizard, nice explanation, but it still doesn’t explain why the bug was there! The kicker was that the bug was not an airborne bug! It could not fly, despite his protests that the bug probably flew into the food.

We call the manager, but she didn’t really care either. Natasha kind of went off on them, saying that she’d never eat there again, and I was proud of her moxie. The manager said she’s “take care of it”, but all she did was take off the spring rolls and take 20% off the bill.

So, here’s where I entered the running for A-hole of the Year. When the receipt came back, there’s always the infamous “tip” line. I told Natasha what I wanted to write, but she didn’t believe I’d do it. We already knew we were never going back, so we scratched out any distinguishing features on the receipt, such as credit card numbers and expiration date. Then, I wrote on the tip line: “The bug was your tip”. We grabbed the mints and ran out laughing.

Sure, it wasn’t the most evil thing in the world, but it sure felt good. I guess you had to be there…