30th Jun2004

The Best Comic Book Movie Of All Time

by Will

So, saw Spider-Man 2 today. All I can say is WOW. I’ve always said that the first Spider-man was “The Best Comic Book Movie Of All Time”. I was wrong. Spidey 2 now holds that distinction!

I LOVED the opening sequence where the main plot points of the first movie are conveyed through Alex Ross’s artwork. I hate Alex Ross, ’cause I’ve heard nothing but accounts of him being an asshole, but the man does have a right to be. There’s no competition in his realm; he is THE painter in the world of comics. Photographs couldn’t have told the story better than his scenes, so I felt that was definitely an incredible aspect of the movie.

I can’t even get into what makes it great, but it’s the fact that we’ve all been or are Peter Parker. The everyman whose life just doesn’t go as he’d wish. We all make promises we intend to keep, but things just get in the way. The only difference is that we, as real people, don’t have as good an excuse for these faults as Peter does.

Anyway, great story. Really felt for Alfred Molina. He’s just a guy who had a passion for science, and in his pursuit of a dream, lost everything he held dear.

Still hate Kirsten Dunst. She’s the worst part of the franchise. And is it in her contract that she MUST be wet and bra-less @ least once a movie? Most guys wouldn’t complain, but I’m tired of this frumpy snaggle-tooth being forced in my face as a “sex object”. Hell, whoever plays Betty Brant is MUCH hotter that Kirsten Dunst.

Is it just me, or do we ALL know a “Harry Osborn”? Some privileged kid who wants nothing more than to fit in and be successful, but ends up pushing people away because of false bravado and theatrics? Cornell was full of them…

I also loved the cameos, like “Queer As Folk”/”I Love The ’80s” star Hal Sparks in the hilarious elevator scene. Or “Chappelle’s Show’s” Donell Rawlings (“Man, he stole that guy’s pizzas!”) Or Joy Bryant cheering Spidey along. And of course, the obligatory Stan Lee “I’m here ’cause I created this f-ing character” cameo. All of these were unnecessary, but as a pop culture guru, they added to my experience.

My only gripe is that Raimi seems to fixate on obnoxious themes each time around. The first movie had all the forced post-9/11 “Don’t F— with NYC” imagery. This movie has a “Godzilla -B Movie” feel to it whenever someone screamed. You had the “Look @ Camera.Freeze.Scream. Run Towards Camera Screaming” scenario. Especially in the hospital scene. The whole Terrified New Yorker role was HIGHLY exaggerated, but it didn’t take much away from the movie. Now, the countdown begins for Spidey 3 in May 2007.

I wonder why no one approached Raimi to breathe life into the Batman franchise. I swear, Spidey is really edging Bats off my hero list. If Chris Nolan disappoints me with “Batman Begins”, I’m scrapping my Bat Signal and using the parts to build web shooters (For you non-comic readers, Spidey actually has mechanical webshooters for his webs; unfortunately, Hollywood thought it’d be better if the webs came out of HIM for the movies, hence why you have no idea to what I’m referring.)