23rd Aug2004

Knight Rider and Me

by Will

So, I’ve reinstated “Operation: Childhood Buyback”. Basically, whenever I get depressed or confused, I try to create a bubble of nostalgia around myself in order to feel better. The best way to do this is for me to buy back the relics of my childhood.

Anyway, the most effective branch of this initiative deals with TV. I’ve bought several 80’s TV DVDs, such as the first seasons of Punky Brewster, The A-Team, and Knight Rider.

Tonight’s topic is Knight Rider. When I was a kid, I LOVED this show. I don’t think “love” even cuts it. There is no English word to describe the feelings I had for this show. I think it’s because of how it relates to my life. I used to watch it with my dad, so it kind of has that sentiment attached to it. Also, for my 4th birthday/Christmas, I got the K.I.T.T. Power Wheels car, which is still in my shed, by the way. That was the year Daddy died, so it was a trying holiday season, but I remember how happy I was to get that car! In fact, Knight Rider and my dad’s death are intertwined in several different ways.

When my father’s funeral came about, they didn’t think a 3 yr-old needed to be at the service, so they had my cousin run interference. She took me to Toys R Us, where I got an electronic K.I.T.T. I still remember that to this day.

Why is all of this important? Well, for many seemingly coincidental reasons. Here I am, watching Knight Rider Season 1, when my cousin, on my father’s side, passes away. In the meantime, Toys “R” Us is considering exiting the toy business. “The more things change…”

I guess one would ask, “Why do you love that show so much if it’s got so many bad memories attached?” Well, they weren’t bad memories. I didn’t know what was going on. I found out about funerals and the like as I grew older. I’ve posted about this before, but I simply looked at that as “the day all my relatives came to visit me/the day i got my Knight Rider car”.

So, now reality sets in. I’m watching these episodes, and trying to recapture what i felt 20 yrs ago. But ya know what? This show sucks. I am so sorry to say that. I feel almost like it’s blasphemy for me to do so, but this show is formulaic dreck.

Let’s see. Some town gets in trouble. Michael and K.I.T.T. are dispatched to right wrongs, and uphold justice in the name of the Foundation for Law and Government. Conveniently, there is always a hot single MILF and/or waitress who becomes Michael’s tour guide/potential love interest. Throw in a couple of bumbling henchmen and any reason at all to get K.I.T.T. to jump over a gorge, river, truck, or building, and you’ve got a typical episode of Knight Rider. No, you’ve got EVERY episode of Knight Rider!

To my recollection, there are only 2 episodes worth remembering: 1) “K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R.”, where Michael is forced to go against the evil prototype named K.A.R.R. If you’ve never seen two Trans Ams collide in midair, this is the episode for you & 2) “Knight of The Juggernaut”, where K.I.T.T. gets the living shit smashed out of it by a big ol’ tank. He was never the same after that…

Well, I’ve got a funeral in about 8 hrs, and about half a season left of Knight Rider. Let’s hope between the two, I can come up with some kind of understanding of life…