02nd Sep2004

Magic Shave Turned Me Into Firemarshall Bill

by Will

Boy, today sure sucked…

1) I didn’t get that job. I didn’t know if I could really do what they were asking, but I was willing to try. Anyway, the chick just kinda fumbled on my voicemail. The professional equivalent of “It’s not you, it’s me…”. Man, if she’d mentioned that she was a lesbian, my life would’ve come full circle…

2) I burned my face using Magic Shave. For the uninformed, as a Black man, a razor is your worst enemy. Well, the Grand Dragon of the local KKK is your worst enemy, but a razor is a cross-burning distant second. So, there’s this powder called “Magic Shave” that’s a chemical which removes the hair. Anyway, leave it on too long, and it’ll irritate your skin. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got to work, and noticed there was basically blood on the surface. It had take off a good bit of my epidermis. And it was predominantly just on the right side of my face. So, I spent the day looking like Two-Face, which burned until I numbed it with an icepack. It also didn’t help that a guy at work called me “Firemarshall Bill”. That asshole…

3) I lost my man! No, it’s not what it sounds like. Well, I guess it is. Anyway, Cheesecake Factory guy’s been spending a lot more time in H&M. But it’s not for me! Apparently, he’s met one of the authentic H&M ga…i mean, “guys”….Well, there goes that source of attention….

4) For the second week in a row, my comic total came to about $50. This is absurd. Especially when I think how these things used to cost a fraction of what they do now. Of course, I wasn’t alive then, and the same could be said for gas and food, but still….why should 22 pages of colored paper cost $3.50? I’ve GOT to drop some titles….

5) I can’t go to Boston anymore. I was planning on visiting Tarek for Labor Day, but H&M has fucked with my schedule as they’re so prone to do. I need out. I can’t take that job anymore. And I really needed that trip, too….