08th Oct2004

Running Commentary of Presidential Debate ’04 II

by Will

Running Commentary of Presidential Debate ’04 II

How’d Charles Gibson get chosen for this? Is “Good Morning America” hard-hitting news? Will Matt Lauer be hosting the next round? Where are the REAL journalists?

W looks kinda robotic this round. He does whatever Kerry does. Kerry waves, W-bot waves…

Gotta love Kerry and his “thank you’s”. He never fails with these, and he’s like a hood-rat winning an American Music Award. Only person he forgets to thank is “The Big Man Upstairs…”

W doesn’t look comfortable holding a mic. He’s like the dad making a toast at a wedding, who’s never really spoken publicly before…

“After 9/11, we had to learn to look at the world differently.” He’s starting the heroic grandstanding already…

“Thought there was weapons there.” Shouldn’t he have said “were”?

Couldn’t they have shppied some minorities to Missouri, just for the night? Nelly’s from St. Louis! Was he too busy to pose a few crunk questions?

So, it’s basically John “Reach Out To Our Allies” Kerry vs. George “The ‘W’ Stands for All The Hard Work” Bush…

Still accusing of “wrong war, wrong time, wrong place”…

W’s listing the contents of his political Black Book. Wow, you talk to Tony Blair, how special that must be for you!

“The war on terror is about making sure these terrorist organizations don’t get weapons of mass destruction!” Yo, Joe, indeed! We’re going after Destro next….

Hey, they found a Black chick!

He’s rambling again…”brought in front of a judge”

I love W’s little pompous nod he does when he concludes each rebuttal…

W’s going all “Blinky Bill” right now. It’s like a nervous twitch or something…

“Military’s job is to win the war. The president’s job is to win the peace.” Nice

Kerry, you’re not answering the Iran question. You’re mudslinging like W. Answer the question. What would you do?

Actually, you DID scowl…

W’s got a good ‘Dr. Phil” act going, walking around, working the crowd…

W mentions the internet as if it’s some kind of mythological beast of lore: ” I’ve heard there are rumors on the…’internet’…” You could almost see him wanting to make those little quote gestures with his fingers…

Still can’t pronounce “peninsula”

That “forget about the draft” promise was the equivalent of his dad’s “Read my lips” speech, and we all remember how THAT turned out…

2nd Reagan reference of the night. Who’ll be the first to namedrop Clinton?

W just broke the rules of the debate. Now, he’s got beef with Gibson. “No, let me answer this!”

Whoa, Kerry…I think I’m sold…

That “intelligence” reference was a veiled attack on two levels. Well played, Kerry…

“Hard work” reference. Republicans drink a shot!

“Working overtime”…SOCIAL!

Drug discount cards? THAT’S your defense?

W’s first to mention Clinton, moves back three spaces…

Did W just wink at somebody?

3rd Reagan reference..Man, we’ve gotta add those to the rules for the drinking game…

Kerry oh so loves those tacky website plugs…

Black dude in the audience looks pissed…”They told me Beyonce was gonna be here!”

“Tax Cut Question Guy”, we’ll call him “Fratboy Dave”, doesn’t look too pleased with Kerry’s answer…

“It’s not credible”. Ah, that brings back memories of “Not gonna do it, wouldn’t be prudent…”

“You can run, but you can’t hide”? What’s that all about?

One hour in, and no “gay marriage” question? They shipped in some Black folks, so you just KNOW there’s gotta be a petgroomer and his antique dealing partner in the audience SOMEWHERE!

Love how W stammered over the “Common Sense Policy”

“The quality of the air’s been cleaner since I’ve been President.” Conceited much?

Ooh..not in good taste with the whole Red Sox knock, Kerry. They take the Curse of the Bambino VERY seriously…

“President that believes in science”? That just alienated the Bible Belt! And you’d been doing SO well, Kerry…

Why’s Kerry calling Gibson “Charlie”? Are they secretly golfing buddies or something?

W’s really harping on this “Kerry doesn’t show up for votes” thing. Did Kerry forget W’s birthday or something? ‘Cause he’s clearly bitter about something…

“Need some wood”? Oh, W! You little minx!

Wow, another Black guy!

Way to namedrop Teen Wolf, Kerry. Like Alex P. Keaton’s REALLY gonna win you some votes…

Wow, Kerry just told us he’s friends with Superman! Fucking SUPERMAN! Now, tell me. WHo are YOU voting for NOW?

I think W won the whole Stem Cell battle via “forced emotion” alone…

Gotta love that nod…

Climate’s shifting towards “Disciple vs. The Scientist”…

Something tells me W doesn’t fully understand the Dred Scott case. It’s one of those cases we all know by name, like Roe v. Wade, but couldn’t really argue if there was a gun to our heads. A good namedropping case…Makes one sounds intelligent…usually…

W just said “legislay-TORS”. They sounds evil. Are those new enemies we’ll be bombing in the coming months?

“I respect that…place you’re coming from.” That’s “Kerry” for “I’m about to disappoint you”

“It’s never quite as simple as the President would like for you to believe.” Truer words were never spoken…

Nice final question!

Ooh..”Mistakes appointing people?” Any of them rhyme with “Gondapeeza”?

WOULD Saddam still be in power? Interesting thought to leave us with…

I always laugh when Kerry says “kill”. It’s so cute…

“Thanks, it’s been enjoyable.” Somebody’s lying….

Wow, he busted out “haters” & “nexus” in one phrase. Talk about catering to the extremes. Somebody got a thesaurus & ebonics lessons since the last debate….

AND THE WINNAH!

Well, this round….

It’s a close one…

I think Kerry works better when not answering questions…but I don’t feel W really told us anything he’d do differently. But then again, his whole campaign is about “staying the course”…For now, I’m giving it to Kerry. We’ll check back in next Wednesday….