05th Jan2005

Got A New DVD Player. Probably A Piece Of Crap.

by Will

So, crisis averted. While the DVD player is with the technological angels in that NeoTokyo in the sky, I have replaced her. That’s right, I went out and bought a home theatre system!

Man, do I know how to throw away a buck! Don’t despair; my resolutions are still on track. After some comparison shopping, I found one at Circuit City for $79! Yup, Seven-nine. Is it a piece of shit? Probably. But, it’ll probably last as long as my last one did. The last one was an Apex. Not the standard of quality most people would expect. But it lasted 3 yrs.

This new one? Doesn’t even have a brand name. Oh yeah…it’s a Nexxtech. Gotta trust any company with two x’s in the name; they’re either specializing in the distribution of mid-grade pornography or giving us shitty electronics. Who knows, maybe Nexxtech does both. Plus, it’s a seal of quality if “tech” is in the brand name. It’s true. It’s in the Bible…

And they had the audacity to ask if I wanted the extended warranty! We, at the West Foundation, do not invest in warranties. We buy cheap, so when it breaks down, we buy another one. That’s putting your dollars to work! They know this thing won’t outlast the warranty, but I’ll bored with it by then anyway. In three yrs, there’ll be cooler models, that play holograms of your movies in your living rooms. Unfortunately, by that point, Nexxtech will be manufacturing killer robots. I only hope the robots still let us watch holograms in the living room….