18th Jan2007

An Open Letter to Dr. Cliff Huxtable

by Will

“I’m English, go on, deport me.”

An Open Letter to Dr. Cliff Huxtable:

Dear Dr. Huxtable,
It has come to my attention that your skills in medicine are questionable, at best. Why do I say this? Well, Dr. Huxtable, you endured medical school, did your residency, and you have established a nice life for yourself and your family. But that’s just it; let’s talk about your family for a minute, Dr. Huxtable. After observing you all for over 20 years, I am shocked that you never once realized that 2 of your daughters, as well as your granddaughter, are half White.

Now, I’ve seen the rest of your family, Dr. Huxtable. To borrow from Maury Povich, I know that you are NOT those kids’ father. Now, Olivia is actually a step-grandchild, so we don’t know what the deal was with her mom. That Navy guy could’ve pulled into port and gotten any Becky or Laura pregnant. No, Dr. Huxtable. My beef is with YOU!

How can you just play dumb and assume that you are the father of Denise and Sandra? I was never good at biology (I always felt that there was more gravity to physics! bah-dum-dum!), but I think I get how this works. Now, we can go the whole dominant vs. recessive gene route, but I’ve seen you, and I’ve seen Mrs. Huxtable. And I regret to break it to ya, but your wife succombed to “The Fever” about 30 years ago. Now, I’ve seen your wife’s sister; If you’d slept with Debbie Allen, that would begin to explain things. Wait…is that it? DID you sleep with Debbie Allen? Because that REALLY would explain things!

But for now, I call shenanigans! If you think I’m dumb enough to fall for this ruse, you’ve got to think twice, Dr. Huxtable. However, if you honestly believe that those two girls are your kids, well I think I’ll be finding another doctor. I wonder how I can get in touch with that Dr. Harry Weston…

Thank you for your time.

Will West