14th Sep2009

How I Tried To Stop Worrying And Love The Tweet

by Will

“How could you be so heartless?”

Since the theme of my recent posts has been my e-identity crisis, I thought I’d also bring up an issue I’ve been having with Twitter. Ultimately, I’d really love to find like-minded people with whom I can have a fun “back & forth” about shared interests. My problem, though, is that I’m not really gaining any new, real followers, as most of the “people” that I’ve attracted have turned out to be spam porn. Twitter’s like a party: its fun depends on who shows up. If you’re following somebody who’s not following you back, don’t expect them to reply to anything you tweet. It sucks, as it’s like being ignored at the grown-ups table.

I thought Twitter might serve the same function as facebook, in that it would be a great way to keep in contact with old friends. I was wrong. None of my friends are on Twitter. No, scratch that. The people I wish were on Twitter feel they’re too cool for it, while the people I’m finding make me scared to let them know that I’m on there.

If you read my last post, you know that I’ve experienced a bit of a problem…connecting with people on these social networks as of late. I’m finding that most of the people from my life that are on Twitter are sweet, innocent girls from the Cornell a cappella community. Most of their tweets say things like “Ramping up for Fall” or “Had a great workout at the gym today”. Basically, they’re using their tweets in the same way that they’d use their facebook status (in fact, many of them have linked profiles so that their tweets ARE their facebook statuses). That’s all well and good, but here’s how I regard Twitter: they are the statuses I’d use if facebook were on HBO. I’m not too keen on having these ladies read my tweets about pussy and Taco Bell. This leads me to the debate of To Follow or Not To Follow? Just because I’m following them doesn’t mean they’ll reciprocate, but if they do, they’ll more than likely drop me unless they turn out to have a freaky side that gets hot at the thought of Taco Bell.

Really, on Twitter I’m all over the place. I go from chastising the decisions of comic companies to liveblogging Style Network shows. Ideally, my followbase should be comprised of metrosexual geeks with an insecure form of narcissism. Does that exist? I doubt it, which leaves me wondering how to properly use the site…

Anyway, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, and you’re not trying to get me to register to see your pics, as Diddy would say, “hit me up on my Twitter”: @williambwest