19th Oct2010

Comic Book Word Problems

by Will

If you are a regular comics reader, these questions should not be too difficult. You will have 30 minutes to complete the test, and please keep your eyes on your own paper . Good luck!

1) Your rich parents died under mysterious circumstances. Your father had a business partner. Guess who killed your parents.

2) Two men are in a room. One of them has a mustache (and is NOT Tony Stark). Which one is the villain?

3) You live in the Marvel Universe but NOT in Midtown Manhattan. You are, however, a scientist who frequently travels to Latveria.  How will you die?

4) A train leaves Gotham City at 4 PM, traveling east at 100 MPH. Another train leaves Metropolis at 4:25, traveling west at 90 MPH. At what point will the Joker kill everyone aboard both trains?

5) An object is neither a bird nor is it Superman. What is it?

6) A hero joins the X-Men and is persecuted. However, the same hero joins the Avengers and is celebrated. Should the hero still be considered a “dirty mutie”?

7) In your past, you taunted/ignored/got tired of a classmate. In the present, a mysterious figure is attacking you “for no reason”. Guess the identity of the mystery figure.

8 ) You’ve opened a school with 5 students. If you have an annual turnover rate of 50%, combined with a mortality rate of 10%, how many students will you have in 40 years? <Remember to factor in alternate timelines and resurrections>

9) As a superbeing, you encounter another, unfamiliar superbeing. Calculate how long you will both fight before realizing that you are on the same side.

10) You seem to be invincible except for one particular element, which is only found in chunks of your home planet. However, your archenemy seems to be only the who can acquire this element. How fucked are you?

11) You are about to celebrate a milestone. You have already recently changed your costume and received an update to your origin story. How safe is the frailest member of your supporting cast?

12) Congratulations! You and your wife just had a mutant baby. Unfortunately, the baby has a rare illness. Do you get a real job, so that you can cover the baby under your HMO or do you send it to the future (where medical science must surely be better than it is currently) to be raised by a cult?

Bonus Question:

Part One: Your last girlfriend was killed by your nemesis. Your current wife, though a vivacious lingerie model/soap opera star with daddy issues, is getting kinda boring. Out of nowhere, The Devil gives you one wish. Do you resurrect your old girlfriend (who you loved more), or do you ask for a divorce, which will free you up to bang your old girlfriend when she’s inevitably resurrected down the road?

Part Two: Your dead girlfriend actually had an illegitimate daughter with the same villain who ended up killing her. Due to a rapid aging ailment, that daughter is now old enough to bang, and looks exactly like your dead girlfriend. With grass on the field, do you play ball?

Please show your work (Stick figures are permissible).