06th Mar2013

West Week Ever – 3/8/13

by Will
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One of these people had the West Week Ever! Who was it? Keep reading!

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My favorite recent pastime is watching court shows and looking up the plaintiff/defendant on facebook. It might sound kinda stalkery, but sometimes it yields funny results. For example, last weekend I was watching an episode of Judge Judy, and I randomly looked up the plaintiff. Her status message was, “So I guess my episode of Judge Judy is on. lol.” I don’t know if people had been messaging her or if she randomly saw it herself, but it was kinda funny to see that in “real time” – especially since the episode was, like, 2 years old. Plus, it’s also interesting to see them on TV, acting the part of “the good girl”, and then they have unlocked accounts filled with blunts and bong pics. This is why you lock your accounts, folks!

Apparently, Pinterest removed one of my pictures this week because it might have contained nudity. Honestly, I don’t even remember the pic they’re talking about. I don’t really even use Pinterest, ’cause I’m not a bored secretary. Pinterest has kinda become the young professional’s Tumblr, but if they want to compete, they’re gonna have to allow some nudity. That’s Tumblr’s saving grace – that and ADD.

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Why do people still watch American Idol? Sure, people love to say “I only watch the beginning, for the terrible auditions”, but then you KEEP watching. WHY? To quote The Rock, “IT DOESN’T MATTER!” Name the last Idol WINNER who mattered. I’ll wait. Sure, the show gets you exposure, but the folks fare best who DON’T win. This goes all the way back to season 2, where most people forget that Ruben BEAT Clay Aiken. This pattern continued. Jennifer Hudson? Didn’t win. Chris Daughtry? Didn’t win. Katherine McPhee? Didn’t win. Adam Lambert? DIDN’T WIN! No, America voted for Fantasia, Taylor Hicks, and Kris Allen, respectively. Yes, Fantasia’s illiterate ass beat Jennifer Hudson! This teaches us 2 things: America can’t be trusted AND winning Idol is irrelevant. They’ll be back at their airport job in 6 months. You know a concept that I do miss, however? American Juniors!

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When a network stumbles upon a reality hit, it then must decide how many cycles to run per season. In the beginning, they run it into the ground, running it in the spring and fall. Eventually, it’s decided to keep the show to an annual basis, and something else is created to fill the gap. This is how the American Idol/X-Factor arrangement currently works. After the second season of Idol, however, they didn’t want to burn off a season during the summer, so to bridge the gap between spring and fall, Fox ran American Juniors. This is actually the merger of two UK properties: Pop Idol and S Club Juniors. This probably a good place to describe the key difference between US and UK pop acts. In the US, pop groups (especially boybands) tended to start like this:

“Well, we were all working at Universal Studios, and we’d run into each other at the same auditions. Eventually, we put together our group.”

In the UK, however, things are more staged:

“I was watchin’ the tellie, and I see advert for a pop group bein’ put together. I’d done some modeling, and me mates was always takin’ the piss. One day, I snuck off from a game of footer and auditioned. Next thing I knew, I was in the group.”

I know US pop acts are just as manufactured, but they at least pretend that they’re not. UK groups are essentially the result of a cattle call for pretty people. Anyway, one of the biggest UK acts of the time was S Club (formerly S Club 7, but Paul had decided to leave, so they didn’t feel like reprinting everything with a “6” when they could just remove the “7”). Considering S Club had a TV show, movies, and CDs, I guess management saw it as a sustainable brand. So, as the original group started to show its wear, the S Club Juniors concept was born, where thousands of kids tried out on the reality show, S Club Search, to be the next generation of S Club. So, in the final year or so of the original group, they had this junior counterpart group just waiting in the wings to steal their jobs. Once S Club disbanded, the Juniors were officially promoted to S Club 8. I swear I’m not making this stuff up!

So, American Juniors followed much the same model: there was a cattle call for cute, performing children, and instead of singling out one of them as the BEST, the goal was to create a pop group instead. Since America has that whole “everyone’s a winner” mentality these days, it wasn’t too harsh, but it was still great seeing such raw, young talent. I’m a bigger fan of seeing a kid and thinking, “That kid’s going places!” instead of seeing some 20-something airport attendant and thinking, “That dude’s gonna get a ton of pussy for about 6 months, and then he’s back to handling luggage.” Just go back and watch old eps of MMC, and you’ll feel the same way when you see young Ryan Gosling and JT. Sure, there’s the risk of becoming ruined as a child star, but there aren’t a ton of child singer success stories. I mean, there’s Michael Jackson (HORRIBLE example) and there was Charlotte Church (who kinda grew up to be a bitch). Otherwise, folks seem to wait til their teens to debut these days. I’m not sure if it’s due to fear over pubescent voice change or what. Anyway, at the end of things, 5 kids were chosen to be the “American Juniors” (how creative), and their debut single was “One Step Closer”, which had also been the debut single of the S Club Juniors. While the show’s ratings were pretty great, a second season was scrapped. I’m tired of Idol. Bring back Juniors!

Links I Loved

The 5 “Dustiest” Pixar Movie Moments – UnderScoopFire!

Classick Team-Up 02: Joe Zicari -Cold Slither Podcast

Childhood TV Crushes Tournament – Eclectik Relaxation

The Smallville Ending – The Robot’s Pajamas

This Week’s Posts

Thrift Justice – Injustice For All

Buy some stuff from Will’s World of Wonder!

Be sure to enter Cold Slither Podcast’s Slither Madness 2013: Battle of the Bands! It’s one of the best March Madness brackets, and I’m a sponsor!

One spent 8 years in the ’70s, while one won’t see his 70s. Another should’ve kept his damn mask on, while we wish the other was wearing a mask. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever!

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I’ve never lusted after Mila Kunis like most guys my age. I think my problem is that I never forget your first impression on me (this is also why I’ve never been a Beyonce fan). It’s not that Mila’s first impression was bad – it’s just that she was 14. That ’70s Show premiered during my senior year of high school, and Mila had actually lied to the producers about her age in order to audition for the role of Jackie. Since I read and watch everything concerning stars, this was kinda off-putting to me. Age is a funny thing. If you’re 31 and your gf is 27, nobody bats an eye. If you’re 18 and your girlfriend is 14, you’re probably on a list somewhere. So, I averted my glance. Over the years, however, Mila has grown into a beautiful young woman. And she’s the voice of Meg Griffin, which is also a plus! Still, for all of this, I never really gave her much thought until this week. I’m sure you’ve all seen it by now. She gave an interview in the UK to a VERY starstruck interviewer, and it was GOLD. Plainly put, Mila comes off cool as shit. It’s not a “she’s so hot” thing. I genuinely want her to be my friend. Ya know, the one who’s really cool, but also kinda hot, so she makes your wife jealous? Yeah, that scenario. So, for just being the coolest chick of the week, Mila Kunis had the West Week Ever!