13th Mar2020

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/13/20

by Will

I may have taken a break from blogging, but I did spend the past few weeks running my mouth on various podcasts. First up, my good friend @ShowNuffDaKing and I recorded a Toy Fair preview episode of his M.A.G. Nerd Podcast. We tried to predict what would be revealed by the big companies at the then-upcoming New York Toy Fair. Stay tuned, as we’re going to eventually record a follow up to see how many of our predictions came true!

Next, I joined Michael May and some other members of the Nerd Lunch 4th Chair Army to create an Expendables style spy movie. While I’ve never seen The Expendables (I know, I know…), I still know the general concept, so it was a lot of fun putting together a spy team, round robin style. I’m particularly proud of the spinoff that I named, but you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out what I’m talking about.

Finally, there’s a 3rd, secret project that I can’t talk about for a few weeks, but you’re gonna love it when it comes out.

Trailer Park

Black Widow
I will commend this thing for giving us a good 85% of new footage, when most trailers would just slightly expand on what we’ve already seen. They managed to do this without giving away any twists, so I’ll give them that. That said, I’m still not even remotely excited for this film. And if Disney refuses to move it, due to the fact that every big movie is being pushed back, the low box office take it’s gonna have is going to need an asterisk.

This week, I have been OBSESSED with the Netflix dating show Love Is Blind. My love for dating shows goes all the way back to the mid 90s boom, when we got things like Bzzz! and Change of Heart. That said, I really didn’t want to watch this show in the beginning. The premise was kinda janky, but Lindsay was into it and really wanted me to watch it. After watching the first episode, I was HOOKED!

Hosted by Nick & Vanessa Lachey, the concept of the show is to test the notion of whether love is truly blind. In order to do this, they took a bunch of guys and girls (I honestly don’t know how many they started out with) and put them in some kind of a luxurious bunker. The guys and girls would basically go on speed dates with each other every day, all day, but there was a catch: they couldn’t see each other, and the dates would take place with each party in a “pod”, where they could just communicate through an opaque screen. So, they’d have to judge one another by the sound of their voice, as well as the quality of their conversations.

A lot of interesting stuff happened in this process. First of all, there seemed to be only one Black guy, and his name was Carlton. We’ll talk more about him later. As for Black women, there were at least 3, but only 2 of them found matches they wanted to pursue. There were no Asians represented. The show was set in Atlanta, so I don’t know if that affected the casting process any.

Anyway, after 10 days, the expectation was that, if you met your match, you’d propose to them – sight unseen – with your wedding to follow in 4 weeks. That’s right: you were getting ENGAGED to be married FOREVER* to someone you’ve NEVER SEEN. Here’s where that whole concept gets a little janky. You see, nobody in the experiment was what you would call “unattractive”. Sure, they might not have been your preferred physical type, but they certainly weren’t uggos. This is the problem with modern day reality shows, in that they don’t represent “normal” people. Remember how The Real World used to actually have ugly people until the Vegas season? I miss that. There are enough shows about hot people dating, and if they really wanted to test their theory, then they should’ve set up the homecoming queen with some neckbeard.

After the initial 10 days, we were left with 6 pairs: Amber & Barnett, Giannina & Damian, Mark & Jessica, Carlton & Diamond, Kenny & Kelly, and Cameron & Lauren. After the proposals, they were allowed to see one another, and then whisked away to a group vacation in Mexico. This is supposed to be awkward, as they had all dated each other in the pods before settling on the one person with whom they felt they had the best connection. The idea, now, was to see if a physical connection could be built upon the prior connection that they had. We also got to learn a bit more about the couples during this time.

Once the week in Mexico was over, they were sent back to Atlanta, where each couple would have to live together in apartments provided by the show. This was to see if they could still manage in close quarters after the “honeymoon phase” was over. Basically, the show took a regular relationship and truncated it down to a MUCH shorter timeline. They met each other’s families, they talked about where they’d live after the wedding, and they got fitted for wedding dresses. At the end of the 4 weeks, they all showed up to the wedding, and during the vows, we found out if they were going to say, “I Do”, which would prove that the experiment worked, and that love was truly blind.
Let’s take a closer look at the couples, shall we?

Amber & Barnett: Amber is WILD woman who used to be a tank mechanic in the Army. You know this because every time her name was onscreen, it was accompanied by “Ex Tank Mechanic”. What this basically told me was that she was a stripper. Why do I say that? Well, everyone else listed their current job, but her most reputable thing she could put was that she used to work on tanks? Nah, her attitude, combined with her fake rack, confirmed to me that she was somewhere on the Hooters Girl/Stripper spectrum. In the reunion show, we found out she was a “cocktail waitress”, so I’m still gonna say I was right.

Meanwhile, Barnett is as close to a down home boy as you were gonna get on this show. An engineer, he was more frat boy than redneck, but he was a flirt who had all the women wrapped around his finger. He’d led Jessica to believe that he was going to pick her, but then, in a major heel turn, he chose Amber.

Amber & Barnett together are like a bad country song just waiting to happen. She would constantly remind him that he was stuck with her forever, and she’d joke about how she’d put a tracking device in his wedding ring. I’m kinda surprised we never saw her kirk out and throw something at his head during the show. She made it clear to every other girl that Barnett was hers, and that she was confident they were going to be together. Barnett, however, had his doubts as she started rattling off the list of debt she had, including student loans that she hadn’t made a payment on in years. Was this who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? He wasn’t sure…

Giannina & Damian: Their relationship was SUCH an emotional rollercoaster, as Giannina was a fiery Latina who LIVED for drama. It’s like she thought she was in a telenovela. She admitted that she tended to self-sabotage, so she fucked up when things were going well. Her job is kinda vague, but it seems like she’s a social media influencer.
Damian, however, was kind of a bore. I mean, it was sometimes hard to distinguish between him and Kenny, because Atlanta just seems to be the hotbed of boring, bearded White guys. And neither was unattractive, but they just seemed to lack a real SPARK to them. But I digress. We don’t really know much of what Damian did, except that he might lose that job because he had taken more time off than he was allowed in order to do the show.

Giannina is beautiful, but she’s also kinda young, and still damaged from her parents’ divorce. She’d go from “I love you so much” to “Motherfucker, listen to me!” in the span of about 5 minutes. You could understand how it frustrated Damian that he never knew which Giannina he was going to get. Oh, and she told him he was bad in bed, so that didn’t really help things, either.

Mark & Jessica: Mark is a 24 year old fitness instructor, who’s actually Mexican but comes off really Italian. Like, he could’ve popped up on Jersey Shore as long lost cousin Vincenzo or something. He has a hard time meeting women because he’s short and women like tall guys. Almost immediately he falls for Jessica, a 34 year old regional manager (paging Michael Scott!) who never met a glass of wine that she didn’t like.

Mark pretty much locks in on Jessica early on, not really even giving the other girls much of a chance. He decides “This is MY woman.” This would be romantic if not for the fact that Jessica is also getting really close to Barnett in the pods, while still leading Mark on. In fact, she only accepts Mark’s proposal after Barnett basically tells her that he’s not sure he wants to marry her after all. So, Mark was basically Jessica’s consolation prize.

The entire process, she keeps Mark at a distance, while he just insists that they’re meant to be, and goes to the ends of the earth trying to make her happy. Plainly put, she’s not attracted to him. In this case, love was NOT blind. This is made even worse when she finally sees Barnett in Mexico, and he turns out to be exactly her type. So, at this point, she basically gets drunk at every social gathering, and tries to steal Barnett away from Amber, meanwhile Mark is across the room trying to convince everyone of how great things are going with him and Jessica. It’s really sad, and you go from pitying Mark to just being angry at him for being so oblivious to what’s going on RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!

Jessica tries to use the age difference as a crutch. What would people say about their 10-year gap? Mark would just say things like “I’m a man, and I know what I want.” In the next breath, he’d say something like “You remind me of my mother, because you’re both strong women.” And this would cause a fight because drunken #Messica would launch into “I don’t want to be your mother, nor do I want to be compared to her, because that’s not a comparison I could win. I’ll never be your mother, nor do I want to be your mother, so just stop.” And this would be a fight that Mark would have to diffuse, not even realizing how he’d gotten here in the first place. I’d say, “Poor Mark”, but he really did it to himself.

Carlton & Diamond: Cue up the Ric Flair “Woo!” ‘cause it’s gonna be necessary here. Carlton is a flamboyant social media manager who seems to be ALL about Carlton. And did I mention he’s flamboyant? When I first saw him, I sort of wondered if he was on the wrong show. The lone Black guy of the finalists, he knew he was there for his African Queen, ‘cause he didn’t give any of those White girls the time of day. He found her in Diamond, who’s a professional basketball dancer. Before y’all start cheering on “Black Love”, let me just tell you the shit hit the fan in Mexico.

I’ve been coy about who makes it and who doesn’t, just in case you want to watch the show. I don’t care about spoiling this, though, as it really doesn’t affect the show that much. What we come to find out about Carlton is that, in the past, he has dated both men and women. He says he’s attracted to the inside and not the outside. Perfect candidate for the Love Is Blind experiment, right? WRONG. See, he doesn’t tell Diamond that he’s gender fluid while they’re in the pods. He doesn’t even tell her when they meet face to face for the engagement. No, he tells her in Mexico. He wants to get the weight off his chest, but he’s not exactly thrilled with Diamond’s reaction, which causes him to get hella defensive, where he calls her a bitch and starts talking about how bad her wig is. She throws her drink at him, walks away, and they both leave the resort alone. Womp womp.

Kenny & Kelly: These 2 are the ones you think have the best chance of making it, as they are both run-of-the-mill folks. Like I’d said before, Kenny is just a boring bearded White guy. I don’t mean that in a bad way, necessarily. It’s just that there is absolutely nothing exciting about him. He is a wonderful man, who you know is there for Kelly, but he lives his life at a 5.

Kelly, meanwhile, is working through some stuff. Currently a “health coach” (I swear, she better not be selling BeachBody!), she used to be overweight and has lost a bunch of it. She also has a history of dating the wrong men for her. Anyone who says “The FriendZone isn’t real” hasn’t met Kelly, as that’s where she has put anyone who wasn’t a bad boy with dark hair. And despite the amazing connection she’s found with Kenny, she won’t sleep with him. It’s not a moral thing, nor is she a virgin. She just “[doesn’t] want to ruin what we have created here.” Um, OK. Good luck with that, Kenny!

Lauren & Cameron: Here’s the couple that everyone’s rooting for, which is why I left them for the end. Lauren, a content creator, is a strong African American woman who’s all about Black Girl Magic. She is really involved in the struggle that Black folks go through in this country. So, it really throws her for a loop when she ends up engaged to Cameron, who’s, you guessed it, another bearded White guy.

Cameron’s not boring, though. Soft-spoken and unassuming, Cameron is a great guy who worships the ground that Lauren walks on. He’s also no stranger to interracial relationships, as he dated a Black woman for 5 years in the past. So, the onus is all on Lauren. Cameron is ready to jump that broom, but can she reconcile her love for her people with her love for a White man?

This show was ALL I could think about this week. Since Lindsay got me started, we had to watch it together, which wasn’t always easy. I never understood the concept of “binge cheating” until this week. Between episodes, I’d go to sleep, and dream about the couples, adding new drama to their stories. Once we finished the series, I couldn’t wait to see the reunion special, just to be able to catch up with them now and see how the experience had affected them (filming of the series took place over a year ago). I don’t think I’ve been this affected by a series binge since Breaking Bad, and that is why Love Is Blind had the West Week Ever.

*Forever is only valid in the lower 48 states, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited.

06th Mar2020

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/6/20

by Will

Welcome to the first West Week Ever of 2020! Yeah, you read that correctly. I’m gonna level with ya: I had one foot out the door. I was pretty much done, even though I didn’t necessarily want to be. It’s just that the world is a dumpster fire, and there wasn’t much happening in pop culture other than folks arguing about Star Wars headcanon or fighting over which old man director was gonna trash talk the MCU next. I didn’t feel like writing about any of that, and the whole enterprise was starting to feel like a chore.

Plus, I kinda fell off the pop culture wagon for a bit, and I’m not caught up on all the Mandalorians and Picards you kids are raving about. So, I sat on the bench. You still got West Year Ever, and I’ve cranked out a post here or there, but for all intents and purposes, West Week Ever was done. The problem with that, however, is that I don’t know how to quit anything. So, here I am. I’m not gonna make any promises. I could disappear quicker than your dad did that time when he went to get cigarettes (too soon?). I’m gonna try to give you something weekly, but only if I feel like it. Only if it’s fun. So, let’s try to capture some fun again.

The Dixie Chicks are back, with “Gaslighter” – their first new song in over a decade. I like seeing that they’ve still got that “Not Ready To Make Nice” fire in them. I’d call this a strong Feminist anthem, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to do that as a man. That said, the visuals of this video are really strong, driving home the message they’re trying to convey. I love this song, and I love them. I just hope they get some kind of airplay because I don’t think country radio is quite ready to make nice with them yet, even though it’s been almost 20 years.

Trailer Park

SCOOB!

This looks cute, even though I’ve never really been a Scooby fan. I won’t see it in the theater, but it’ll totally end up on Cartoon Network within 16 months of its release and I’ll just watch it then.

Connected

OK, I was already on board when it was just the story of a dad trying to reconnect with his daughter. Then there’s the twist around 1:45 where I was SO in. This looks great, and I plan to actually go see this in the theater. I didn’t know this was in development or anything until the trailer dropped this week, and it just seems so refreshing to have an original idea that looks great. This is when someone tells me it’s based on some YA novel or something :-p
Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • We got our first look at the Batmobile from the upcoming Matt Reeves film. It’s different. I like it. I know folks get all passionate about these things, but if it’s a Batman movie, I’m gonna see it, so just bring it on already.
  • The first Hollywood casualty of the Coronavirus that’s sweeping the world is the upcoming James Bond film, No Time to Die. Due to concerns about the virus (and the desire for that Chinese box office), the film’s release has been moved to November.
  • Speaking of Coronavirus, a lot of musical acts have postponed the Asian leg of their tours. One of these artists is Avril Lavigne. There are reports that Asian children are writing letters to the virus, thanking it for sparing them from Lavigne’s music.
  • She may have kissed a girl, but she clearly banged a man, as Katy Perry announced that she’s pregnant with her first child.
  • America Ferrera is leaving Superstore, which doesn’t come as a surprise if you watched their SDCC panel last year. Felt like there was some tension there.
  • I know some of y’all enjoy my Thrift Justice feature, which made its return this week, with me showcasing some board games I’ve picked up.

I don’t know if y’all realize this, but FX is cranking out some pretty good stuff over on basic cable. I mean, I’ve been a fan of their original programming since Nip/Tuck, but it was You’re The Worst that really showed me what you could get away with over there. And, of course, there’s It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The same way film snobs love anything by A24, I’ve pretty much decided to give most FX shows a shot when they debut. I was scared that the quality might change after the Fox studios were sold to Disney, but boy was I wrong! This week saw the debut of 2 great, new shows on sister network FXX.

First up there’s Martin Freeman’s Breeders, which spoke to me in a way I didn’t really expect. It’s about an early 40s couple, struggling with the challenges of raising their two young kids, as well as being in a position where they now have to care for their elderly parents. Freeman’s character is 45, but I could relate to all of that at 38. The whole notion of “Remember when we had lives and dreams?” Yeah, I felt that. But this isn’t supposed to be a downer, and I’m supposed to be selling this to you! Since it’s a joint UK production, Freeman is the only actor I recognize, but it’s got a strong cast, and there’s great chemistry between him and Daisy Haggard, who plays his wife.

The show debuted Monday night with two episodes. If you’re going to give it a shot, I’ll say that the second episode is stronger than the pilot. It’s got an excellent cringe moment, where you think “These might not be great people”, conveyed in a way that only an FX show could do. I don’t follow many shows these days, as my TV is pretty much always on Cartoon Network/Adult Swim, but Breeders is now destination television for me.

Next up, there’s Dave, starring rapper Lil Dicky. I’ve got to admit that I’d never heard of Dave Burd/Lil Dicky prior to the show, but I guess he’s an internet rapper? Anyway, this show feels like FX stumbled upon a particular formula and tried to replicate it here. It’s a show about an awkwardly named rapper trying to make it big. They should’ve just called it Whitelanta and called it a day. Burd is an interesting character, as he’s basically a neurotic Jewish guy who just happens to have an amazing freestyle. For a show about a rapper, though, there’s not a lot of rap. It definitely follows the “Less is more” philosophy, so that when he finally does rap, it really hits you hard. You’re like, “Shit! This dude is talented!” Imagine a young Jewish rapper who finds himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm style situations, and you’ve got Dave.

In the pilot, Dave wires $10,000 to a stranger because a random guy he met at a recording studio put a random number in his phone for a producer who’ll get rapper YG to guest on his track, “Girth” (there’s a LOT of penile stuff in the show). Anyone with street smarts would question this, but nebbish Dave goes right along with it, and withdraws his Bar Mitzvah money to do it. In the second episode, Dave’s first public performance is slated for the memorial service of a kid who loved both him and Macklemore. Yup, Macklemore, which will come into play in a big way.

It’s an usual show, and it has its cringe moments. Still, those are what FX shows do so well, and Dave is actually an endearing character. You wonder if he might even be on the spectrum, but you get where he’s coming from, and you feel sorry for his naivete. The rap game is gonna eat him alive, but it’s gonna be a riot watching it all go down.

So, between Breeders and Dave, FXX is my new favorite channel. That’s why FX Networks had the West Week Ever.

03rd Mar2020

Thrift Justice – I’m SO Board!

by Will

I’m not a board game guy. I didn’t grow up playing them, and the idea of a “game night” makes me want to tear my eyes out. That said, I know that there are plenty of folks out there who do love board games, and the right games can net you a pretty penny on the resale market. Why do I dislike games? Well, I’m an only child, and there weren’t a ton of kids in the neighborhood when I was growing up. I used to play The Game of the States with my grandmother, but I never played any of the “staples”, like Monopoly, Candy Land, or The Game of Life. In fact, I’ve still never played a game of Monopoly outside of the annual McDonald’s sweepstakes. I didn’t learn Candy Land until about a year ago, because my daughter was playing it.

Board games are a blessing and a curse when it comes to thrifting. If you find the right game, and it’s still sealed (score!), you could make a good deal of money. For example, I made about $100 a few years ago when I sold a vintage copy of Ghettopoly. It’s hard to find because it’s offensive as Hell, so it wasn’t on the market long. Meanwhile, some opened games can also net you some good money, but you’ve got to count the pieces to make sure they’re all present. That step right there is why I hate board games. You’d be surprised how many board game instructions don’t expressly list the count of all the pieces. Do you know how much time I’ve spent online trying to find the total of each denomination of Monopoly money that should be in every game?!

Check these groovy contents!

Anyway, despite my disdain for board games, every now and then one will catch my eye, and I just have to take it home. Today we’ll look at a few games that fell into that category.

I don’t know anything about The Magnificent Race, but the box art had a weird, Beatles cartoon-esque vibe to it. Supposedly, the players are chasing someone named “Dastardly Dan”, who seems like he’s a Great Value Dick Dastardly. Apparently it sells pretty well, too, but board games are such a chore to ship, as the shipping alone on a “standard” board game box is about $20. USPS even has a board game shipping box for these things, but I don’t know if there’s enough “meat on the bone” here to make it worth even trying to sell.

A lot of the games I pick up have a nostalgia bent, where they’re based on something I used to love, but I still don’t feel like seeking out 1-3 more people to play. So, they end up being collectibles more than things to actually play. Growing up, I LOVED The Beverly Hillbillies, so I jumped at this one when I found it at the thrift store. I still don’t know how to play it. A quick glance at the rules says that players are trying to fit the Clampetts’ old belongings into their new mansion, but is that it? Am I looking for “black gold” or “Texas tea”? Am I trying to keep Mr. Drysdale from stealing my money? No clue, but I also don’t see myself getting rid of this any time soon.

Children of the ‘80s will remember M.A.S.K., aka Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, as the line of quick change vehicles that came with 2-inch, helmeted figures. Where else could you find a Camaro with gull wing doors that allowed it to fly?! So, of course all of this fun would translate well into a board game, right? Right? Wrong! You see, the beauty of the toys was the transforming nature of the vehicles, which is completely lost when translated into a 2-D board game. It’s the age-old battle between good and evil, but there’s no way this is as fun as playing with the actual toys. I grabbed this for 2 reasons: 1) I didn’t want anyone else to have it and 2) I was drawn in by the box art. I’ll never play it, and I may even release it back into the wild, but for that very moment, I had to have it.

Because I love all things Saban, I used to be a big fan of the Sweet Valley High TV series (and not just because the original Green Ranger made a few cameos. OK, that was the main reason). So, I snagged this board game based on the adventures of the Wakefield Twins. I’ll be honest here: I got this and Mall Madness simply to resell to that “disposable income” crowd. I’ve done an inventory of it, and everything is here. Since it’s based on the books, and not the show, it’s missing some of my favorite characters, like Andrea Savage’s “Renata”. The problem I found here, however is the box is LARGE. Shipping this thing would be a bitch, so I’m probably gonna throw this one back to the thrift store.

Speaking of Power Rangers, I got this game from my Secret Santa last Christmas. I’ve actually owned it a few times over the years, but never had anyone to play it with me. I’m drawn to the fact that it features King Sphinx who, according to early MMPR merchandising, was apparently an important character. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t! You’d think he was the Big Bad, or at least one of Rita’s henchmen, but he appeared once. Still, he’s got a great agent, as he’s all over the first year Power Rangers merch. I haven’t felt this let down since the Star Wars “Black Jedi” marketing of Finn! Damn it, I’m gonna make somebody play this with me!

Finally, we’ve got King Kong, where the famous gorilla scales the World Trade Center. Ehhhhhhhhh… Sure, when it was made, nobody ever thought that it would be the site of one of America’s greatest tragedies. They just knew the dude liked climbing tall buildings, and the WTC was two for the price of one! I’ve been sitting on this particular game for about 5 years, as I didn’t know what to do with it. The previously sold prices on eBay are all over the place, plus this box had a bunch of tape on it and I didn’t feel like ruining the box art trying to get it all off. So, I finally opened it up the other night, only to find that it’s basically incomplete. I mean, most of it’s there, but it is missing a player piece, so it can only be played by 3 people instead of 4. I guess I could part it out, but is there really a market for a cardboard cutout of the World Trade Center? I’ll probably end up throwing this one back.

There ya have it. I don’t wanna keep this too long, as I know nobody’s got an attention span anymore. In the comments, let me know some of your favorite board games. Am I missing out?

06th Feb2020

The Driver

by Will

The red Jaguar speeds up to the curb, narrowly missing my foot. I open the back door on the passenger side, to assist the student in getting out of the car.

“Good morning”, I utter.

I glance at the driver, who adjusts his leather gloves and merely grunts at me. The child scuttles out of the back seat.

“Have a good day!”

He doesn’t directly acknowledge me, but there’s enough of a pause to let me know that he heard me. He just chose not to reciprocate the sentiment.

I take my cue to close the door, and he speeds away from the curb, to whatever life he leads that’s more important than I can probably imagine. At least in his mind.

17th Jan2020

West YEAR Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2019

by Will

I won’t say 2019 was a complete dumpster fire, but it certainly wasn’t very noteworthy. It was a year that many are glad to have behind them, and we’re looking forward to a better 2020. As you probably know, I took about 1/3 of the year off from posting because, well, there wasn’t a whole lot worth talking about. It was just such a Meh year. However, this is the time when we look back, so let’s see how the year shaped up, shall we?

I remember back in an early West Year Ever, I watched about 70 movies that year. This year I landed on unlucky number 13. Comic Book movies and Rambo films were the name of the game in 2019. The Rambo thing, however, was a fluke, as I did a Rambothon to prepare me for a podcast appearance.

Movies I Watched
1. Captain Marvel
2. SHAZAM!
3. Avengers: Endgame
4. Spider-Man: Far From Home
5. Barbershop: The Next Cut
6. First Blood
7. Rambo: First Blood Part II
8. Rambo III
9. Rambo
10. Rambo: Last Blood
11. White Chicks
12. The Grinch
13. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: I never wrote about this, because I feel like people should be more willing to say “I don’t know enough about this topic to have a strong opinion”. I mean, I enjoyed it in the theater, but it’s got fan service out the ass, and feels like it panders. Still, the lifelong fans seem to love it, so I guess “mission accomplished”? I will say that I’m disappointed in Finn’s character arc. Sure, I was one of the fools who initially fell for “Whoo hoo! Black Jedi!” Even when that didn’t come to pass, however, they never did anything with him. He’s such a blank slate that he’s come to be known by his relationships. That’s why everyone’s constantly trying to ship him with Poe Dameron. EVERYONE Finn encounters becomes a potential love interest. Rey, Poe, Rose, Jannah. He can’t meet someone without catching feelings. I don’t know if that’s because he was snatched as a child so he never had any real nurturing, or if it’s simply bad writing. But they didn’t do my man right.

Top Posts of 2019

While my West Week Ever posts are somewhat disposable, as they don’t mean much once the week has passed, every now and then I write something that I feel is sort of “evergreen” and can be read at any time. 2019 saw the return of my fan favorite segment Thrift Justice, with a heavy focus on physical media I acquired over the year. Then there was also a healthy dose of nostalgia. Check out these posts:

Thrift Justice: Operation Kondo
Thrift Justice: Let’s Get Physical! Physical! Media!
Thrift Justice: Physical Education
The Great Sitcom Fires of the 80s & 90s
Kickin’ It Old School at Retro Con 2019
West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – I Love The 80s REMIX!

Things You Might Have Missed This Year

  • We bid adieu to HarassmentWatch(TM), as #MeToo seemed to have calmed down.
  • All Elite Wresting debuted, finally giving WWE some competition
  • My pals at the Nerd Lunch Podcast announced that their show would be winding down
  • The latest incarnation of Power Rangers, Beast Morphers, debuted
  • The X-Men film franchised limped to the finish line with Dark Phoenix
  • Aunt Becky got caught cheating to get her daughter into USC
  • The Bat Penis made an appearance in Batman: Damned #1
  • The public outcry following the debut of the Sonic: The Hedgehog trailer caused Paramount to go back and change the character’s design.
  • Taco Bell Quarterly took the literary world by storm
  • Adam Levine left The Voice – ya know, that show that has never made a household name
  • We celebrated the 30th anniversary of 1989’s Batman
  • DC Comics shuttered the critically acclaimed Vertigo imprint
  • One of my favorite shows, The Amazing World of Gumball, came to a sudden end.
  • A bunch of y’all crowdfunded a $600 Transformer, so there’s that.
  • The X-Men comics got a major overhaul by writer Jonathan Hickman
  • Verizon, which paid an estimated $1.1 billion to acquire Tumblr, offloaded the site to WordPress’s parent company, Auttomatic, for a mere $20 million. At least the porn’s back.
  • Avengers: Endgame unseated Avatar to become the highest grossing movie in the world.
  • Sony opted not to renew their agreement to allow Spider-Man to be used in Marvel Studios films. And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. And then they changed their mind.
  • Get ready for the purple pill, as a fourth Matrix film was announced
  • SNL made history by hiring an Asian guy, but they also hired a guy who liked to make fun of Asians. And hilarity ensued! Not really. They fired that second guy.
  • NBCUniversal announced their own streaming service, peacock, which will carry the NBC library, as well as revivals of older shows, like Punky Brewster and Saved by the Bell
  • Taylor Swift released my favorite album of the year, Lover
  • McDonald’s celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Happy Meal, with a strange 5-day promotion that featured shoddy reproductions of old toys.
  • John Legend was named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, and even his wife, Chrissy Teigen, is like “Huh?”
  • Disney+ showed up on the scene and changed the streaming game. It’s a wonder Disney makes any money on it, though, as it seems like there are about 6 different cheat codes to get your first year for free.
  • I counted down the top 40 songs of 2019, as decided by moi.

West Week Ever Recipients of 2019
1/11/19 – Marie Kondo
2/15/19 – HardRockNick
3/1/19 – Star Wars: Always trailer
3/8/19 – Power Rangers Beast Morphers
3/15/19 – Captain Marvel
4/5/19 – SHAZAM!
5/3/19 – Avengers: Endgame
5/17/19 – Fox Network
5/24/19 – Live In Front of a Studio Audience
6/21/19 – Blanco Brown
7/19/19 – FaceApp
7/26/19 – Marvel Entertainment
8/16/19 – Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich
8/23/19 – Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich
9/20/19 – Taylor Swift: Lover
11/15/19 – Disney+
11/22/19 – Baby Yoda
12/6/19 – Xfinity’s E.T. commercial
12/13/19 – Ghostbusters: Afterlife trailer

 

So, normally we get to this point, and I add up how many things got the West Week Ever more than once, and the West YEAR Ever recipient becomes sort of obvious. That’s not the case this year. While the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich did get the WWE twice, I refuse to consider 2019 The Year of the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich. No, some special math is needed here.

If you notice, Disney made the list 5 different times (I’m not counting the Star Wars: Always entry, as that was a fan project). Disney was behind the 2 most anticipated films of the year, they tied up the Thanos Saga of the MCU deftly, and they introduced the character of the year: “Baby Yoda”. On top of those successes, they closed to deal to acquire 21st Century Fox, bringing several other franchises, such as X-Men and Alien into the Disney fold. Ya hear that? Ellen Ripley is a Disney Princess now!

So, even though those sandwiches had folks lined up around the block, they eventually lost momentum and now you can just get one whenever you want. Disney, however, is still making moves to increase their vast empire. Some think they’re evil. Some say it’s “just business”. Whatever it is, it’s hard to deny Disney’s success, which is why they had the West Year Ever in 2019.

There you have it. We can finally close the book on 2019 and start focusing on what 2020 has to offer. There’ll also be some changes on the site, but we won’t get into that too much right now. As always, thanks for reading, as Lord knows there are 1,000 other things vying for your time these days. I truly appreciate it!

03rd Jan2020

The WBW40 – Will’s Top 40 Songs of 2019

by Will

With another year behind us, that means it’s time to look back on some of the music that made an impression over those 365 days. If you remember the past WBW40 posts, then you pretty much know what you’re in for. If you’re new, I should preface this by saying I have the musical taste of a 15 year old White girl from Norfolk, Virginia. I hate genre, so a lot of these would blur the lines of certain classifications. Still, it tends to skew to what’s typically played on country stations, with some pop sprinkled in. In fact, there’s more pop this year than in recent years, so that should make a few of you happy. I’m also proud to say that we had such a full deck that nobody made the countdown twice this year. So, without further ado, let’s jump right in, shall we?

 


40. AJ McLean – Boy and A Man

Yes, it’s THAT AJ McLean, of Backstreet Boys fame. He’s taken a few stabs at solo work in the past, but nothing has really stuck. Then, in a weird roundabout way, he decided to record some country music, as he felt that the genre was more aligned with the stories he wanted to tell at this stage of his life. Still, while he debuted this song on country radio, it’d be right at home on your adult contemporary station that airs Delilah.


39. George Strait – Every Little Honky Tonk Bar

I just like this little ditty. I’m not even really a George Strait fan. I know he’s the “Elder Statesman of Country Music”, but he’s never really done it for me. In fact, I think I drunkenly walked out of his concert a few years ago. Don’t ask me how I got there… Anyway, it’s just a fun song about dive bars. Garth also released a song about the same thing this year, but this one is far superior to his!


38. Blanco Brown – The Git Up

You’re already familiar with this one, as I introduced it to my readership earlier this year, swearing it was gonna be THE family reunion line dance of the summer. Now, I can’t confirm if that was true, as I didn’t have a family reunion this year, but I’d like to think my prediction came true, somewhere out there.


37. Jon Pardi – Heartache Medication

I buried a lot of the REAL country at the bottom of the list, but since you’re reading it as a countdown, I’m probably alienating you at this point. Oh well. I like Jon Pardi because he knows what works for him. He’s either singing about hearts or boots. His big single was “Dirt on My Boots”, then he followed that up with “Heartache on the Dance Floor”, followed by “Head Over Boots”, and then he gives us “Heartache Medication”. Somebody needs to let him know there are other words in the dictionary. Anyway, it’s got a catchy chorus.


36. Justin Moore – The Ones Who Didn’t Make It Back Home

So, I actually kinda hate this song, but I thought it would be disingenuous to leave it off the list. You see, this is an example of shrewd business by Moore’s management. To use a wrestling analogy, Justin Moore is what you’d consider a midcarder in the country industry. He’s not really groomed for a championship shot, but maybe he wins the Intercontinental title on a fluke, right? So, what does he do? He releases this patriot-bait song that would make it a crime for him NOT to get the #1 song on the country charts, because that simply wouldn’t be American! All of a sudden, he’s now moved from the midcard, and is a serious contender – all because of this one, heavyhanded song for soldiers/first responders. I’m not even the most patriotic, but it can bring a tear to my eye if it catches me on the right day.


35. Jimmie Allen – Make Me Want To

I love Jimmie Allen, as I know it can’t be easy for him as a Black man trying to make it in country music. It’s not like Darius Rucker has taken him under his wing or anything. Shit, I bet when they’re at the same event, it’s like the party scene from Not Another Teen Movie. Anyway, I LOVED Jimmie’s debut single, “Best Shot”, so it pains me that this song isn’t anywhere near that song’s level of beauty. This is a fun enough song, but nothing too special. It’s the kind of thing that would’ve been buried in the middle of a late 90s boyband album. I’m not even talking *NSYNC or even 5ive. I’m talking BBMak or LFO.


34. Thomas Rhett – Remember You Young

Rhett started the year with “Look What God Gave Her”, where he pretty much just bragged about his wife and her haters. I’m so tired of him singing about his wife. We get it. You’re in love! So, he ended up making the countdown with another love song that’s not so obviously about the mother of his children. Nothing groundbreaking her, but it’s a pretty song.


33. Billie Eilish – Bury A Friend

Couldn’t have a 2019 music countdown and NOT mention Billie. I’m sure most folks would have expected “Bad Guy”, but I simply liked this one more. I’m still not entirely in love with her sound, which is sorta like if they let Harley Quinn make beats while she’s locked up in Arkham. That’s why she’s so far down the list. But I’m gonna keep an eye on her, ’cause she’s clearly going places.


32. Zac Brown Band – Someone I Used to Know

I like Zac Brown, and there’s something about this that just hits right for me. That’s pretty much it.


31. Marshmello & Bastille – Happier

I’m ashamed to say that I know this more from Kidz Bop than the actual recording, as my oldest tends to walk around singing the chorus. That’s as juvenile as this countdown will get, though, since I took “Baby Shark” off the list (What? It hit the Billboard chart this year!)


30. SHAED – Trampoline

They’re actually a local band, but I didn’t know that when I discovered the song. I like its vibe, but it’s also the kind of thing where we’ll probably never hear from them again. It’s got One-Hit Wonder quality to it. Maybe they’ll prove me wrong, though.


29. George Michael – This is How (We Want You To Get High)

I already blogged about this earlier in the year, as George’s sister and father released the song. Then she died on Christmas – 3 years to the day that HE died. Ain’t that crazy?! Anyway, it seems like it would’ve been right at home on his Ladies & Gentlemen album from ’98.


28. Russell Dickerson – Every Little Thing

This was a great summer song, with its whistles and happy beat. And it was so much nicer to hear Russell sing about something other than his blue truck.


27. Mitchell Tenpenny – Drunk Me

Weird name for an artist, but a great song. Seriously, “Mitchell Tenpenny”? Is he an accountant? Or an actuary? I’ll be he’s an actuary. Anyway, I feel like this song could’ve worked just as well sung by an R&B artist.


26. Dan + Shay w/Justin Bieber – 10,000 Hours

What a surprising collaboration! I already love Dan + Shay because they’re not really country. If anything, they’re the second coming of Savage Garden, and the only reason they’re on country radio is because of the low barrier to entry. Their roots are NOT in country, and they work so well, vocally, with Bieber on this track.


25. Lauren Alaina – Ladies in the 90s

I also blogged about this one earlier in the year. Just a fun song about Lauren’s female singer role models while growing up.


24. Matt Stell – Prayed For You

You’d think that he was a Christian artist, but you’d be wrong. Sure, the song is kinda straddles that contemporary Christian line, that’s not what pays his bills. We do have one of those artists coming up, though.


23. Ingrid Andress – More Hearts Than Mine

I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it, as Ingrid is warning her boyfriend that he shouldn’t get too attached, as their potential breakup would end up hurting more people than just her. My wife hates that sentiment, as she said it’s not the guy’s fault if her family’s all clingy and gets attached to him. Still, as someone who’s been in that situation, I completely understand where the song’s coming from.


22. The Weeknd – Blinding Lights

Every time I listen to The Weeknd, I ask myself “Why don’t I listen to more stuff from The Weeknd?” So much of what he puts out sounds like it was unearthed from an 80s time capsule, and that’s right up my alley. This one doesn’t disappoint in that department.


21. Ryan Hurd – To A T

Oh, such great wordplay in this song! I was afraid that Hurd was just gonna end up being known as Mr. Maren Morris, but I’m glad to see he’s carving out a niche of his own. There’s a clear Jason Mraz influence here, and I like it.


20. Miranda Lambert – It All Comes Out In the Wash

Somebody needs to bring that Dixie Chicks fire that’s been missing from the boys’ club of country music, and this single from Miranda does just that.


19. Blake Shelton – God’s Country

Blake’s in an interesting place in his career, where he just kinda tosses out singles every few months just to remind folks that he’s more than just a coach on The Voice. Some of them never really even chart, but he does it to keep his country dues paid up. Every now and then, one of them actually has something to it, and this is one of the best. I love the chorus, where he pretty much takes us right up to the church door without leading us in. Still, it’s like you can hear the choir from the other side of the doors.


18. Luke Bryan – Knockin’ Boots

Speaking of reality show judges, America has gotten to know Luke Bryan as a judge on ABC’s American Idol reboot, and I don’t know if that’s been the greatest thing for his career. I say that because it’s almost like he’s changed songwriters now that he’s in the spotlight, and his song choices just ain’t that great lately. That said, I like the swing of this track. It’s hokey, and kinda like the joke of how all American fads reach Europe late, here you wonder why country music is just picking up on “knockin’ boots”.


17. Luke Combs – Beer Never Broke My Heart

Remember the midcarder conversation about Justin Moore? Well, sometimes someone comes out of the developmental territories, and you just know that’s gonna be The Guy. That’s Luke Combs. It’s clear that the industry expects big things from him, and everything he touches is a hit. Now, he did release “Even Though I’m Leaving” this year, which I thought was something of sappy low point for him, I LOVE this song. The chorus is just built for drunken singalongs.


16. Lee Brice – Rumor

Ooh, the blues influence here is incredible, and I’m glad to see that Brice has this kind of range in him. More like this!


15. Harry Styles – Adore You

This was something of a late entry, as Harry’s album just came out a few weeks ago, but this song really left an impression on me. It reminds me of the kind of stuff we’d get from Timberlake before he had a kid and lost all of the sexy he’d painstakingly brought back.


14. Michael Ray – One That Got Away

This is just a fun singalong song. I don’t know what else Michael has in the chamber, but I hope it’s more like this.


13. Maren Morris – The Bones

Maren’s really got the crossover appeal, thanks to Target featuring her in a lot of their ad campaigns. Her biggest song of the year was probably “GIRL”, but this is my favorite song from the album of the same name.


12. Chris Young – Raised On Country

Yeah, I know I know. Y’all hate country, but this song speaks to me. You see, I, too, was raised on country. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, as my mom listened to the blues, but from the age of 4 to 11, I listened to nothing but country. I think Ace of Base was what ushered me into the world of pop. So I can relate to this song.


11. Lizzo – Juice

I was late to the Lizzo train, and I’m still not fully aboard, but I’m thinking of buying a ticket. I heard this in Target and it stuck with me. Immediately came home to hear it again.


10. Backstreet Boys – Chances

If you weren’t looking for it, you’d probably never know that the Backstreet Boys released an album last year. In fact, it was released during such a new release drought that it debuted at #1 – their first #1 album in 19 years! Still, the whole thing was kinda terrible as, for whatever reason, they didn’t work with Max Martin, who was responsible for basically every one of their hits. So, this is probably the best song from that album, which shows they’ve still got vocal chops.


09. Lauren Daigle – You Say

Remember when Debbe Boone would sing about God but you thought it was about a lover? Well, get a load of this, as Lauren here is actually a Christian artist, but the song gets play on adult contemporary stations as a love song. It works both ways, but it just drives home the fact that contemporary Christian music has some of the best melodies out there.


08. Old Dominion – One Man Band

On the production side, this is a simple song, but it hits in all the right ways.


07. Jonas Brothers – Sucker

I was never a JoBro fan, but this song got a ton of airplay earlier this year, and it was impossible to escape it. While I never got into their old stuff, I dig their new sound. Marriage has done them some good!


06. Chris Lane – I Don’t Know About You

I love the picture this song paints. “What’s your wrist tattoo Bible verse say?” That is SUCH a type!


05. Panic! At The Disco – High Hopes

I kinda stumbled into this song because I think Panic!’s Brandon Urie sounds a lot like Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy. So, I thought Stump had a new song when it was actually Urie. Still, I love that sound, so the song stuck with me.


04. Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved

I had heard this song, and I had heard the name Lewis Capaldi, but I didn’t realize this song was BY Lewis Capaldi. Great ballad here, and I need to check out more of his work.


03. Morgan Wallen – Whiskey Glasses

I am SUCH a Morgan Wallen stan, ever since “The Way I Talk”, followed by “Up Down”. The play on words here is great, and this ended up being one of my favorite songs of the year.


02. Lady Antebellum – What If I Never Get Over You

If we’re doing the genre thing, this was my favorite song by a country artist. It was ALMOST my favorite of the year, overall, but we’ll get to that. It’s just got such beautiful harmonies, as Lady A brought their A game to this one.


01. Taylor Swift feat Brandon Urie of Panic! At The Disco – ME!

It was hard to narrow down to just ONE Taylor Swift song to put on this countdown. Her album, Lover, was my favorite album of 2019, but it’s also not really fair to boast about that, as I didn’t listen to a ton of albums. What really made it stand out, however, was the fact that I loved pretty much every track on that thing. It’s got everything from peppy pop like this one to vaporwave tracks. Ms. Swift really outdoes herself on that album, but the standout to me was this song because it’s just so FUN. Not to mention the fact that Brandon Urie, from Panic!, shows up with his Patrick Stump soundalike vocals. That just sealed the deal for me.

So, there you have it. My favorite songs of 2019. Which were your faves? Did you discover anything new here? Leave a comment below!

18th Dec2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – I Love The 80s REMIX!

by Will

As we head into the holidays, I know fewer folks will be online (especially those avoiding Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker spoilers), so I thought I’d give you an early treat. Now, I briefly considered a West Decade Ever, but I really don’t have that in me. Instead, I kinda wanted to dabble in something different. You see, I don’t really get too musical on this site because I have the musical taste of a 15 year old White girl from Norfolk, Virginia: just enough pop knowledge, with a heavy dose of Tim McGraw sprinkled in there. Since I can’t attract that demographic without ending up on some sort of watchlist, I keep most of the music to the WBW40 post at the end of the year. That said, most of us here are Children of the 80s, and if Stranger Things has taught us anything, we eat that nostalgia shit right up! So, I thought I’d mix a little then with the now, and showcase some amazing 80s remixes I found of recent-ish songs. Some of these might not be new to you, but cut me a break, as I’ve been listening to Darius Rucker and Florida Georgia Line the past few years. This year, my holiday gift to you is a musical trip through time, where hopefully you’ll discover something that knocks your socks off as much as these did mine.

In my albeit brief research, one of the kings of this 80s remix movement seems to be a guy named Johan Olsson. If Max Martin, ABBA, and Ace of Base taught us anything, it’s to never rule out the Swedes when it comes to an earworm. He doesn’t do much to the existing songs, but what he does is SO spot on to the era. He basically isolates the original vocals and puts them over a standard 80s synth beat, but the end product sounds like something that actually charted 35 years ago.  Here’s a few of his best tracks:

“Helena” – My Chemical Romance

This was actually my introduction to this whole scene, when a friend posted the link on Facebook (See, Facebook isn’t ALL evil these days!). This could totally have been a hit by Breathe (of “Hands To Heaven” and “How Can I Fall?” fame). This has got “Awkward Slow Dance at Homecoming” written all over it, which is saying something since you can’t really dance to the original. And that sax solo! I thought it was a perfect homage already, and then that sax kicked in. And then the overlay of the sax on the final chorus? *Chef’s kiss* I would totally do this for karaoke if it were an option.

“Sugar, We’re Goin Down” – Fall Out Boy

If you’re new here, then you don’t know much about my love of California Dreams. An early staple of the 90s TNBC Saturday morning lineup, it was basically Saved By The Bell with a band (a REAL band, and not that Zack Attack crap). I would go so far as to say that I love California Dreams MORE than Saved By The Bell, primarily because of the music. Now, even though the show debuted in 1992, much of the music had that laid back, beachy sound that gave it something of a late 80s vibe. This rendition, right here, is a California Dreams song. Hence, I LOVE it. I already loved Fall Out Boy since their album Infinity On High. Loved them even more when they were part of the Teen Titans Go! The Night Begins To Shine special. With this, I don’t think it’s possible for me to love them more. Sure, they didn’t have a part in the production of this, but they provided the main ingredient, and that’s enough in my book!


“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” – Green Day

This has that dark, pulsing beat of a Pat Benatar song. If it were used in a movie, it would most definitely be during a driving sequence through the “bad part of town”. Maybe 80s Times Square, before Giuliani came and supposedly cleaned up the streets.


“Dani California” – Red Hot Chili Peppers

I can’t help but feel like this version would’ve been a great song to use in Beverly Hills Cop, just as Axel arrives in California. They could just use a bunch of standard California B-roll, with bikini girls rollerskating down the sidewalk and beautiful people playing beach volleyball.


“Side to Side” – Ariana Grande feat Nicki Minaj

Coming to a shopping mall near you is this new hit singer, Ariana Grande, and her bouncy hit “Side to Side”! This version puts a happier spin on the song, as the original sounds like snake charmer music. I will say that the Nicki verse doesn’t work as well with what Olsson is trying to emulate, but he kills it on the Ariana parts.


“Perfect” – Ed Sheeran

Know what’s funny? If this had come out in, say, 1986 Sheeran would’ve probably been a One-Hit Wonder, but this song would still be played at Black family reunions to this day. Instead, in the wacky world of 2019, he’s been named the Artist of the Decade! Not Olsson’s strongest offering, but he makes it work. This is actually one of his earliest remixes, so you can contrast this with “Helena” to see just how far he’s come in only a year at doing these.


“Symphony” – Clean Bandit feat Zara Larsson

I actually wasn’t familiar with the original in this instance, so I discovered TWO songs in this case. Immediately took to the Clean Bandits song, especially with that powerful music video that accompanies it. Still, I really like what Olsson does here. It’s understated, but could easily play over the end credits of some 80s thriller about a dystopian future. Anybody ever see that Tom Selleck/Gene Simmons movie, Runaway? Yeah, that movie would’ve been perfect for this. Again, this is one of Olsson’s earliest, but he stuck the landing on it right out of the gate.


“Poker Face” – Lady Gaga

Rest assured that Olsson isn’t the only one out there, doing the Lord’s work, and some artists just lend themselves well to the 80s remix treatment. One such artist is Lady Gaga, and this mix by D.A.M.I.A.N is pure perfection.


“Wrecking Ball” – Miley Cyrus

GK Starwalker turns in this “1987 Version” of Miley’s hit, which fires on all cylinders from the first beat. Nothing crazy is really done here, but it’s a great alternate take on the haunting song. A good, by-the-numbers 80s conversion.


“We Found Love” – Rihanna feat Calvin Harris

I really love what Rath Remix did with his one, and I’m a big fan of the original. I love how the synth comes in at the pre-chorus. This kinda sounds like Saved By The Bell music in a weird sort of way. It even ends like a TV theme song.


“I Want It That Way” – Backstreet Boys

I’ll close things out with one everyone knows. Here, Mohamad Shaxi delivers the song you hate to love, but can’t help but sing along to. You could almost call this the “GTA Mix”, as I feel like it would play in the in-game car, as you’re going to collect money from your bitches. It’s a standard synth beat, but it works. Back when I used to buy maxi singles, I could totally hear this being one of the remixes on there. After all, there wasn’t a ton of difference between late 80s pop and early-mid 90s European disco.

Well, there ya have it – 11 songs you didn’t know you’d hear when you woke up this morning. I fell down quite the rabbit hole, and I thank you for coming along with me. Which were your favorites? Do you know of any good ones I need to check out? Do you want posts like this in the future? As they say in my kids’ YouTube videos, leave a comment below! In the meantime, have a Happy Hanukkah, a Merry Christmas, and a Kickin’ Kwanzaa!

13th Dec2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/13/19

by Will

In a rare family moment, we all sat down to watch The Grinch last weekend. My wife had actually taken our oldest to see it in the theater last year, but the kid fell asleep during the second half. In all, it’s a cute little movie, if not a bit short. I don’t really make a tradition of watching holiday stuff every year, so I haven’t seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas in forever. I do know that most of this Cindy Lou Who stuff was new, ’cause you’ve gotta do something to fill 85 minutes. I didn’t realize Cumberbatch was The Grinch until my wife looked it up, and then it was obvious. He was using that same “normalized” American accent that Hugh Laurie used as Dr. House. And I loved Kenan Thompson as Brinklebaum. I do have questions, though. If The Grinch isn’t a Who, then WHAT is he? And why is he green? Is this explained in some other part of the Dr Seuss Shared Universe? I didn’t grow up on those books, so someone enlighten me. Anyway, other than It’s A Wonderful Life, we don’t really have Christmas viewing traditions, but I could easily watch this again in the future.

So, this week saw the start of the highly anticipated 5-part Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover on The CW. The first 3 parts aired over Sunday through Tuesday night, with the final 2 parts slated to air in about 4 weeks. Clearly a love letter to fans of DC Comics, the event pulled characters and actors from all over, including Burt Ward (Batman ’66), Robert Wuhl (Batman ’89), Tom Welling (Smallville) and more. Those cameos were woven into the ongoing stories of the individual Arrowverse series, much to the crossover’s detriment in my opinion. I really wanted to like it. I mean, I truly did. That said, it really felt like a cheap fan film –  probably because the costumes of ancillary characters look like bad cosplay (looking at you, Vibe). Here are my random, SPOILERY thoughts, in no particular order:

  • I can’t imagine this was accessible to newcomers. I’m the most casual of Arrowverse fans these days, and I probably only understood about 30% of the non-Crisis stuff going on.
  • Speaking of not being able to follow things, Tom Kavanaugh is on, like, his 4th character in this franchise, right? Is he some producer’s uncle or something?
  • There was WAY too much Supergirl drama going on in Part One to really be able to focus on the fact that the world was ending.
  • I haven’t seen Supergirl since season 1, but that Braniac dude is obnoxious as Hell. I know they represent “the audience”, but why do these shows always have that grating fanboyish character who has to explain everything to the “noobs”?
  • I’m sorry, but I didn’t watch 12 seasons of Two and a Half Men to accept Jon Cryer as Lex Luthor. He’s just hammy in the role, and not in that “good” way. I just can’t take him seriously.
  • I’ve never watched Batwoman, and after Ruby Rose’s performance, I don’t see myself starting any time soon.
  • Ya know, for all the fanfare about Batman: The Animated Series voice actor Kevin Conroy starring as Batman, he didn’t really SOUND like Batman.
  • All the deaths were corny, from Oliver to Bruce to Flash ’90. They were without emotion, and made soap opera deaths look Oscar worthy.
  • Man, I thought I disliked Erica Durance as Lois Lane in Smallville, but I REALLY don’t like the Arrowverse Lois.
  • I always liked Brandon Routh as Superman, and felt he just got shafted with a bad movie. It was great to see him back in the suit here, but, as Clark, it looked like he was wearing his father’s ill-fitting suit.
  • Seeing Hoechlin next to Routh really drove home just how much of a Great Value Superman the Arrowverse has.
  • I love they pretty much had to come up with a “He gave up his powers” excuse to justify Welling’s midlife, lumberjack body.
  • More happened in the Batwoman ep than the Supergirl ep, and that’s still not saying much. Meanwhile, did you know that when this aired in the UK, they had to skip the Batwoman episode because no broadcaster in the UK has the rights to the show? Womp womp.
  • Who did the Gotham producers piss off that Lucifer got a cameo but no one from their show did?
  • So that it doesn’t seem like I’m completely shitting on the whole enterprise, it is cool how they pretty much wove a tapestry of everything that came before and after Arrow into the Multiverse. I know we’re not supposed to talk about it anymore, but it’s basically HyperTime. “Everything counts”.
  • The best acting, and actual genuine emotion, came courtesy of Jefferson “Black Lightning” Pierce. Never thought I’d type that sentence!
  • Speaking of Black Lightning, we got the Black Guy Head Nod between him and Diggle. Let that sink in for a minute, though. We do it because we’ve been through the same shit, and are acknowledging that with each other when we meet. But, in this case, it means in MULTIPLE universes, we STILL go through the SAME shit to make the nod even necessary. Slavery, Inequality, The Struggle. Except the Earth with Black Superman. That’s heavy.
  • Did these episodes really need a Kevin Smith-hosted aftershow to break down what we just saw? I get that DC/WB wanted us to think this was EPIC but the product they delivered fell short of that.
  • That was NOT an ending that’s gonna keep me on my toes for the next 4 weeks. Everyone swore this would have some amazing cliffhanger, but they were wrong.

At the end of the day, it’s a cool experiment, but I was mostly bored. It couldn’t hold my attention most of the time, and had I watched it nightly, instead of in one fell swoop in one night, I probably would’ve dropped it after Part One. It’s got 2 more episodes to stick the landing, but I’m not holding my breath.

Trailer Park



Wonder Woman 1984

Remember last week, when I said that the Black Widow trailer really didn’t move the needle for me? Well, along came this trailer, which basically said “Hold my tranquilizer”. I love “Blue Monday” and the 80s aesthetic. Gadot is great in the role, and I love Kristen Wiig, but I didn’t walk away from this, just needing to see this movie. And Steve is just…back? Was he frozen in ice for 40 years? I was kinda hoping they would be brave, and take a page from the Wonder Woman TV series, saying that this is actually Steve Jr, played by the same guy (like Lyle Waggoner in the series). Instead this seems to be Steve Sr? I dunno. I know we’ll get at least 2 more trailers, so I hope they’re better than what we got here.


Like A Boss

This seems like it should be funnier than it is. I’d like to think they saved the best stuff for the movie, but that’s not how these trailers work. I know she’s polarizing, but I watched this and couldn’t help but think “Melissa McCarthy could’ve saved this movie.” Keep Haddish, because I know she’s the new hotness in Holywood, but replace either Rose Byrne or Salma Hayek with McCarthy, and this would probably be a good movie. As it stands, it doesn’t look like much.


Free Guy

Fun trailer, and who doesn’t love Ryan Reynolds? That said, I’m not enough of a modern gamer to truly appreciate what’s going on here. Back in my day, a Non Playable Character was a damn turtle, or a dog that laughed at you. I never immersed myself into the GTAs and CoDs enough to really “get” what’s going on here. Plus, Reynolds has joined the ranks of actors, such as Bruce Willis and Vince Vaughn, where he’s cultivated a character that he now plays in every comedic role. You could say he’s been doing it since Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place, but it’s been refined over the past 20 years to where he doesn’t really have to try anymore. He struck gold by cranking it up to 11 for Deadpool, and now he can easily coast on a 7 if he has to. Yeah, I’ll catch this one when it hits FX.



Nora from Queens
(Comedy Central)

Speaking of polarizing, apparently some folks don’t like Awkwafina. I’m not one of those people, however, so this looks good to me. I know we’re losing an Asian-American sitcom when Fresh Off the Boat ends this season, and while this won’t “take its place”, it’s still another option in the marketplace.


Stargirl (DC Universe/The CW)

Yay, another Arrowverse show. I think I’m beginning to feel about the Arrowverse the way those Snyder Cut fanatics feel about the MCU. Enough already! Still, this actually looks kinda cool, but I look at Luke Wilson and think “How’d you end up on The CW?” Then I remember it’s not exactly true. You see, this show was developed for the DC Universe streaming service, but since that service seems to be on its last legs, an interesting deal was struck: episodes will debut on DC Universe, and then air on The CW the following night. This trailer, however, doesn’t seem to want the stink of DC Universe on this show, so they just cleverly forgot the whole “The CW is actually airing reruns” aspect. Anyway, as far as demographics go, this should fall right into The CW’s sweet spot, as it will appeal to Arrowverse fans AND teen girls.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Apparently the sequel to SHAZAM! is slated to be released on 4/1/22. Ya know, if this isn’t some long-range April Fool’s joke.
  • Speaking of release dates, it was announced that the 4th Matrix movie and John Wick 4 will be released on the same day: May 21st, 2021.
  • Batista and the nWo have been announced as members of the 2020 class of the WWE Hall of Fame. I had a great conversation on Twitter about whether or not Batista is really a Hall of Famer.
  • William Shatner, 88, filed for divorce from his fourth wife after 18 years of marriage. How bad is your marriage when you file for divorce at 88?! It’s a wash by that point. You going back out on the prowl? You really don’t want her eulogizing you? What is it?
  • In the Year of our Lord 2019, Nick Cannon is still poking the bear with Eminem. It’s funny that Nick’s still trying to defend the honor of a woman who doesn’t even want his ass anymore.
  • At last night’s Game Awards, the XBox Series X was teased for a Fall 2020 release. With a name like that, I can only assume it has more boobs, and maybe a little bush.
  • Though the writing was on the wall with the announcement of Jeph Loeb’s departure, it was announced this week that Marvel Television will be folded into Marvel Studios, with Marvel Chief Creative Officer Kevin Feige taking over.
  • ABC is doing another Live In Front of a Studio Audience special next Wednesday, this time tackling episodes of All in the Family and Good Times. The All in the Family cast is the same as last time (Woody Harrelson, Marisa Tomei, etc), while the Good Times cast is new, including Viola Davis and Andre Braugher.


I’ll bet you were looking for it in Trailer Park, but it’s actually got the coveted spot this week. You see, growing up, I was hardcore into Ghostbusters. You wouldn’t know it now, because that part of my brain has been occupied by Power Rangers trivia the past 26 years and, in the age of the Internet, TRUE GB fanatics arose, making my fandom look like nothing.

The thing is, however, I wasn’t ever really into the things that modern day fans feel were “Peak Ghostbusters“. For example, I don’t really revere that first movie, and I kinda prefer the sequel, if only because local Fox affiliate, Channel 5 (shout out WTTG!) used to air Ghostbusters II about every 8 weeks when I was growing up. I’ve just seen it more than the original recipe, so it came to mean more.

No, my fandom was based primarily in the toys and the cartoon, The Real Ghostbusters. In fact, it was that very cartoon that sort of stoked my love of continuity when it actually acknowledged that Janine’s look had changed over the seasons, and provided an in-story reason for that besides chalking it up to “The animators were getting bored”. My love was reignited in ’97, when Extreme Ghostbusters hit syndication. I watched every episode while getting ready for *high school* every morning, and I squeeed during the series finale 2-parter, when the original team came back to meet the new team.

As for the toys, I had the proton pack, the trap, the firehouse, Ecto-1 – all of which I still have to this day. I never really lost my love of the franchise, but I kinda didn’t really feel “worthy” around folks who can quote the movies word for word (and keep in mind, the movies aren’t *my* Ghostbusters). When it comes to live action, I’m still waiting for something to come along that piques my interest. There was Ghostbusters 2016, with the female team, which should’ve been right up my alley, as I love the cast AND the director. Still, I’ve owned it for years, but have never taken the time to watch it, since public sentiment towards it is so negative. We saw a lot of the worst sides of the fandom then, and I think it’s what made me shut down the containment unit for good.

Then this trailer popped up, and brought it all rushing back. What, exactly, was I watching? This wasn’t the theatrical Ghostbusters I’d grown up on, but that wasn’t a bad thing. I HATE movie speculation, but I immediately found myself on a Facebook thread with some friends trying to decipher what we’d seen. How was Egon old enough to have grandkids? Does this movie retcon Ghosbusters II? Is Paul Rudd no longer playing Dana Barrett’s grown kid, Oscar, which is a role that had been rumored for years? Are we sure it’s even Egon we’re talking about here? I mean, sure, his actor is no longer with us, but moving to a farmhouse with the Ecto-1 sounds really “Ray” to me.  And is the world in Ghostbusters basically like the Marvel Universe, in that everything happens in NYC, and doesn’t really affect the rest of the world? I mean, 30 years ago, there was PROOF OF GHOSTS, and now it’s just forgotten about in Middle America?

Anyway, it’s safe to say that I’m interested and on board. I’ll acknowledge that it didn’t do it for everyone, as a lot of folks complained “They got Stranger Things in my Ghostbusters!” Sure, I get that there’s a kid element to this film, with Finn Wolfhard, but we don’t yet know that they save the day. For now, we just know they go for a joyride, and play with a thrower that they totally don’t understand. I’d find it kinda hard to believe if they end up taking out the ghosts with no real guidance or training (even the Extreme Ghostbusters had training), but I feel like there’s a lot they can’t show us yet, so I’ll trust in the process.

Move over, “Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?”, ’cause there’s a new question on the block: Was Ghostbusters a Comedy? Bigger fans than myself have pointed out that it was apparently never intended to be a comedy, but rather a horror movie with comedic elements. Meanwhile, there’s the camp that swears it’s one of the greatest comedies of the decade. I haven’t really taken a side on that one because, as I said, I prefer the sequel, and it was clearly a comedy. I think its clear comedic approach is why folks don’t think it’s a worthwhile successor to the original. I guess it needed to be a bit more nebulous in its intentions.

In any case, I’ve got a fever, and the only cure for it is new Ghostbusters. I’m cautiously optimistic, and longtime readers know it’s a lot easier for me to shit on something that be optimistic, so I’m trying here. That’s why the Ghostbusters: Afterlife trailer had the West Week Ever.

06th Dec2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/6/19

by Will

So, did everyone have a good Black Friday? I didn’t post, ’cause y’all weren’t gonna read it anyway. There were deals to be had! I did my typical spree on physical media that I’ll probably never watch:

  • I already own both Deadpool movies, but I got this Blu Ray 2-pack for $1.96. I COULDN’T leave that behind!
  • Yes, I know Dark Phoenix sucks, but I still haven’t seen it, and I own all the others, so I had to complete the set.
  • Booksmart always kinda looked like it was basically Girl Superbad, which doesn’t sound like the worst thing to me. Hope I’m right!
  • I didn’t read anything good about Rocketman, but Elton’s my favorite artist of all time, so I’ve gotta see it.
  • Yes, everyone who’s seen Holmes & Watson has wasted no time telling me it’s horrible, but I’m a sucker for that comedy duo, plus it was $3.

The rest of my haul came in last night. These online orders were my “Wait for Black Friday” babies that I’d passed up over the course of the year:

  • Was not fan of Captain Marvel, but I’ve got all the rest, and it was just $7.99, so…
  • I know this is sacrilege, but I enjoyed Venom. Hell, I enjoyed it more than Captain Marvel, which is why it’s here.
  • SHAZAM! was fun, and deserves to be revisited. On the flip side, I never saw Aquaman, but feel it deserves a fair shake.
  • Can’t wait to watch Cooper and Gaga’s Not Relationship play out in A Star Is Born!
  • Everything else here I’ve never seen (Yes, that includes Jingle All the Way and 3/5 of the Transformers films), so they’re New to Me.

I’m convinced that I’ll be the key to the physical media infrastructure after The Collapse, so I guess there’s that.

Trailer Park

No Time To Die

I like to think I’m a James Bond fan, but my favorite of the franchise is Moonraker, and I’ve never seen a Daniel Craig Bond film, so I guess I’m just kidding myself. This looks fine for the folks who are true fans, but that ain’t me. I feel like I’m missing some backstory here or something, but maybe it’s just how the trailer is edited. Yay for Black 00 agent, but she’ll probably die ’cause she’s way too cocky (ugh at the thinkpieces that’s gonna trigger), and Bond never dies. He’s got no time to die! I’ve got nothing against this film, but I’ll probably never see it.


Crisis on Infinite Earths (The CW)

I get that this is supposed to be EPIC, but I also feel like I’m missing something by not being All In on the Arrowverse right now. In fact, I feel like those novices who were like “Can I see Infinity War/Endgame if I haven’t seen the other Marvel movies?” I realize that Flash has been building to this since its pilot, which is why it’s kinda odd to me that, somewhere along the way, this became an Oliver Queen story. In the original 80s comic series, the big deaths were Flash and Supergirl, but I can’t help but feel that basic knowledge of the TV industry kinda puts the kibosh on that happening here. I mean, there are contracts in place. You kill those 2, what are you gonna do for the back half of each of their seasons? Meanwhile, Arrow only has, like, one episode left after this crossover, so… My point is that, while this has become quite the smorgasbord/clusterfuck mishmash of DC properties that some folks have always wanted, I can’t possibly imagine anything they could throw at me that would blow my socks off. And I’m not trying to be difficult here. I stopped regularly watching Arrow when Lian Yu got blown the Hell up, so I’m 2 seasons and change behind. It’s just that I feel really detached from those shows right now, so I’m probably just not the target audience they’re trying to reach. Crossing my fingers that it’s good, though.


Mulan

I’ve actually never seen the animated feature (I know, I know), but that might work in this one’s favor. I’ve made no secret that I’m not a fan of Disney’s recent “Let’s ‘live action’ that bitch!” initiative they’re applying to all their past animated hits. I feel like, outside of Pixar, Disney’s recent films are stagnant, and they don’t really know what to do next. People like to rip on the MCU for being formulaic and lacking stakes, but Disney Proper really isn’t taking many risks these days. Sure, it’s not “easy” translating a lot of these things to live action, but why do it anyway? Just because? Anyway, this looks pretty amazing, and I’m prepared to watch the Hell out of it. Also, it looks like the kind of thing best seen on the big screen, and that’s not something I do for just any movie. But I’m picking up what you’re putting down, Mulan, and I’m ready!


Troop Zero

“As a father of daughters”, I find this looks cute. I’d never pay to see it, and I’d never rent it. However, it’s perfectly placed on Amazon Prime, where I can watch it at my leisure without ever living my house. Ain’t The Future grand?


Black Widow

I’m not completely dead inside yet, but this did absolutely nothing for me. I’m trying not to let the whole “She’s a dead character/Endgame was the perfect coda to the MCU” mentality creep in. All that aside, this movie is a day late and a dollar short. Regardless of the stuff I just mentioned, this should have been ensconced in Phase 2 and NOT all the way in Phase 4. Will I watch it? Sure. Am I excited about watching it? Not at all. This would be like if they said “Hey, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is gonna have a movie”, which is another property that could’ve benefited from some early theatrical love. Widow is not my favorite Avenger, but you say that shit on Twitter, and they’ll cancel ya for hating women. No, I just don’t care that much for how she’s portrayed in the movies, despite the fact there’s been some great comic stories with her (like Nathan Edmondson and Phil Noto’s recent Black Widow series). I know they’re just calling this a teaser, so I’m sure Disney is hard at work on an official trailer, chock full of footage that won’t be in the actual movie.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Almost 2 years after Hasbro’s purchase of the property, the “Saban’s” prefix will finally be removed from the Power Rangers logo in 2020. While Haim Saban had acted in a consultant role on the brand, his future with it is now uncertain.
  • After debuting just last weekend on the DC Universe streaming service, the premiere episode of the animated Harley Quinn series is set to air on TBS this Sunday night. While the worst words will be censored, a move like this is still enough to make folks question why DC Universe is even still around, as far as original programming is concerned.
  • Speaking of animated shows, it’s been reported that the showrunner and writing staff of the Tigra & Dazzler animated series, set to stream on Hulu, have been let go. There are reports that it’s undergoing a “creative overhaul”, but I doubt those Hulu shows ever see the light of day. They were Jeph Loeb’s babies, and his departure was announced during my most recent blog break. Everyone knows the new boss throws out the old boss’s shit so they can do their own shit. I don’t care if Kevin Smith and Chelsea Handler were attached to that planned animated universe, it ain’t happening.
  • In the “Get Yo’ Money, Playa” move of the century, tortured Jar Jar Binks actor Ahmed Best is returning to the franchise to host the Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge game show for Disney+
  • There are reports that Disney is looking to revive the Planet of the Apes franchise in some capacity, as it is seen by some as the most viable property in the recently acquired Fox portfolio.
  • Since John Witherspoon’s passing, there are now reports that actress Jenifer Lewis is interested in portraying Granddad’s sister in the upcoming Boondocks revival.
  • If you’re like me, in thinking that The CW’s Crisis on Infinite Earths could probably stand to be more than 5 parts, then you’ll be glad (or mad) to know that DC felt the same way. This is why they’re releasing a 2-issue Crisis comic series that will be part of their 100-Page Giant series sold at Walmart. These comics, co-written by original Crisis writer Marv Wolfman, will feature the Arrowverse characters, and fill in some of the blanks that won’t make it to the screen. Issue #1 will be out 12/15, with #2 out on 1/19.
  • Justin Timberlake has publicly apologized to wife, Jessica Biel, for being spotted holding hands with his film costar, Alisha Wainwright. He’s blaming it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, and swears nothing happened. This is such a juvenile non-scandal that I half expect him to go public with his Cootie Test results.

  • At long last, we’re finally getting full-fledged DC Comics characters in the next series of LEGO Minifigures blind bags! I’m SO glad I won’t have to buy full sets to get some of these characters now.

Since we skipped last week, we never got a chance to talk about E.T.’s grand return. You see, during the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC, 80s pop culture icon E.T. came back! No, he wasn’t a parade balloon, nor was he in the booth with Hoda and Al. I wish I could say it was a trailer for a long-awaited sequel, but I can’t say that, either. No, the folks at Xfinity decided to dust him off to tug at nostalgia to help them sell bundle packages.

11 million views later, and I’m left here with a lot of questions. I mean, just think of all of Elliott’s therapy that was done by this return! And why wasn’t his wife more frantic? What’s SHE hiding? And where’s Gertie? Please tell me Gertie’s OK! It couldn’t have been easy growing up knowing what she knew.

It’s a cute ad, but luckily E.T. doesn’t hold much of a special place in my heart, so I wasn’t over here weeping like some Evangelical listening to “The Christmas Shoes” for the umpteenth time. No, your trickery didn’t work on me, Xfinity! Plus, I already have your services, so you have nothing left to sell me right now.

I could get used to this, though. Maybe next year, they could do Weird Science with a CGI Kelly LeBrock. I’d LOVE to see Wyatt and Gary try to explain that to their wives and/or husbands. “Um, we created her…for science!”

It’s a cheap ploy, but nostalgia is an instant warp zone into the hearts of many. They used a day meant for family to showcase E.T. being reunited with his own. Well played, Xfinity. Anyway, it’s safe to say that E.T. had the West Week Ever.

22nd Nov2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/22/19

by Will

Not a ton to talk about this week, so it’ll be a short one. Yay?

In a somewhat surprising move, Warners announced that the upcoming DC Comics series Stargirl will debut on the DC Universe streaming service, with episodes, then, airing on The CW the very following night! If they’re gonna be doing this, then what even is the point of DC Universe going forward? I mean, they’re already moving a lot of their development slate to HBO Max (which is where Doom Patrol will air in addition to DC Universe), and it’s starting to make DCU look obsolete. Of course, DCU subscribers are mad because they wanted some sort of exclusive content from the app, when they’re only getting the first dibs on it by a very small margin. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a quiet announcement that DCU is being absorbed into HBO Max by year’s end.

 

Speaking of The CW’s DC shows, it only just now occurred to me that we’re not getting all of the “Crisis on Infinite Earths” event in one week. In the past, these crossovers were contained to the same week, but here we’re getting the first 3 parts (Supergirl, Batwoman, and The Flash) starting December 8th. Meanwhile, the final 2 parts (Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow) air January 14th. Now, I know they’re trying to get some mileage out of this Arrow “victory lap”, but that is a momentum killer.

A Twitter friend pointed out that at least it’s better than the year folks had to wait for the conclusion of the original Crisis on Infinite Earths comic series, but that’s no consolation to me. The first parts will air, there’ll be some shocking cliffhanger death, which will promptly be spoiled on Twitter, and then folks will speculate until January 14th. Yeah, I’m probably just gonna wait and watch it all in January.

I know we live in this whole world of the “fall finale” now, but most of these are so forced that I hate that it’s even a concept now. It used to be understood that shows simply went on hiatus in the winter because folks had better stuff to do than watch TV, like drunkenly hit on their secretaries at office Christmas parties. But now we have no more “secretaries” and no more drinking at the office parties. Thanks a lot, Harvey Weinstein! So, now we have to break it to folks that their beloved shows need a rest, by introducing the fall finale. It’s like saying “Don’t worry! We promise to finish explaining how one does get away with murder, but we need a bit of a production reset.” It just feels so unnecessary.

It looks like the 4th Star Trek film, set in the “Kelvin Timeline”, is back on! Noah Hawley, of Fargo and Legion fame, has been brought on to direct. They’re saying Chris Pine is coming back, but it’s unclear if this is the same Kirk Meets His Father story that they’d been pitching when Chris Hemsworth was still on board. I guess this is good news. I mean, I still haven’t seen Star Trek Beyond, but I’ve heard it’s better than Into Darkness. That said, I thought the Kelvin Timeline wrapped up as a nice little experimental trilogy, but I’m ready to get back to the “prime” timeline, in a medium that’s not a subscription-based television show.

Tesla introduced the Cybertruck, which is a hideous, pixelated-looking vehicle that shouldn’t even exist. It looks like something from the syndicated 1-season wonder Team Knight Rider, or those later seasons of Viper when the Defender had an off-road mode. God, I miss Saturday afternoon syndicated shows! Even more than Saturday morning cartoons. Here, let’s watch some videos of those 2 shows:

 

So, I hear you’re looking for some of them “Baby Yodas”. Well, you’re not alone! Debuting at the end of the premiere of Star Wars: The Mandalorian, this little critter is all anyone can talk about! It’s not actually THE Yoda, but that doesn’t matter, since Yoda’s race and homeworld were apparently never named. So, “Baby Yoda” it is!

Now, the race is on to see who’s gonna pump out the first Baby Yoda merchandise first. At first it was believed that nothing would be out in time for the holidays, but now I’m hearing that’s not the case? Well, good luck with that! I’m still over here, waiting for KB Toys to open all those stores they’ve promised us the past couple of years.

I still haven’t seen The Mandalorian yet, but I feel like I’m already quite familiar with this character, as I’ve known about it since TMZ spoiled the appearance Friday morning 2 weeks ago. I go to TMZ for celebrity gossip, not space baby spoilage! I guess they saw a winner and ran with it. Can’t really fault them for that…even though most folks hadn’t seen the episode yet. Then, when last week’s episode rolled around, the spoiler moratorium was over, so folks just let their adoration fly. So, look out Porgs, as you’re no longer the belle of the ball! Just like when a sitcom brings in a new, cuter kid when the youngest enters their “awkward period” (my favorites include Billy from Who’s The Boss, Sam from Diff’rent Strokes, and Seven from Married…with Children), Baby Yoda is here to knock Porgs off the block. Let’s just hope little Baby Yoda isn’t horrifically wiped from existence like those cute replacement kids I just listed. In any case, Baby Yoda had the West Week Ever.

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