24th May2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 5/24/19

by Will

Welcome to a special PRIME TIME edition of the post! I didn’t want to skip this week, and I had a ton to do today (I don’t get paid to blog!), so we’re doing this a little later than usual.

Did any of y’all watch the Norman Lear/Jimmy Kimmel Live In Front of a Studio Audience special this week? In case you missed it, an all-star cast (and some lesser stars) were assembled to recreate episodes of classic TV series All In the Family and The Jeffersons. Since the All In The Family episode was the first appearance of George Jefferson, it served as something of a crossover into the next installment, with Jamie Foxx in the role of George.

I’m still on the fence as to what I thought about it. Some folks were surprisingly good, like Kerry Washington and Will Ferrell as Helen and Tom Willis. Meanwhile, some were grossly miscast (Ellie Kemper as Gloria Bunker? Stephen Tobolowsky as Mr. Bentley?!). Meanwhile, some of the actor brought out new sides to the characters. For instance, Jamie Foxx couldn’t seem to nail down the seriousness of George, and instead played up the funny aspects of the character. Meanwhile, Woody Harrelson’s Archie was a little darker than Carroll O’Connor. Like, I could almost believe that he hit Edith a time or two, and I never got that vibe from the original series. Did Woody need to tone it down a bit? Was he miscast? Or did I completely miss something about Archie that was always right in front of me? Anyway, we can all agree that J.Hud appearance was FIRE!

In the end, it was a neat little experiment but, as I said on Twitter, I don’t want ABC to learn the wrong lesson here. The ratings for it were great, but I don’t want this to be a regular thing to the point where it’s 2035, and we’re waiting to see Tom Holland star in a reenactment of the ALF series finale. ‘Cause I know I’ll watch it, but I’ll hate myself the whole time.

In comics news, word on the street is that current Batman writer, Tom King, will be off the book by issue #85 – contrary to the fact that he had frequently mentioned that he was telling a 100-issue story. A lot of folks believe it could be due to this interview he gave The Hollywood Reporter, where he mentioned wanting to do something to leave his mark on the character. Yeah, other folks don’t like it when you write on their toys, Tom.

I like King. He’s a good writer who’s always been nice to me. I haven’t read his critically acclaimed stuff, like The Vision or Mister Miracle, rather I actually discovered him through his Middle East-set Vertigo comic, The Sheriff of Babylon. I used to find him at cons and say “I may not understand what’s going on half the time, but damn do I enjoy your book.” It got to the point where he started to recognize me. So, that said, it’s been interesting watching his career trajectory.

He’s a lot like Gwenpool, who is a character I love, with a lot of potential, who got a big push too soon. It wasn’t handled well. Marvel was determined to shove her down our throats. Like, have you seen a new character get a Marvel Legends figure that quickly? King got a lot of acclaim for Mister Miracle, but then seems to have lost all that goodwill with Heroes in Crisis. But to lose Batman from it?

It might not just be that, though, as I know some folks didn’t appreciate his bait & switch with the whole marriage to Catwoman, but did anyone really think that wedding was gonna take place? I have to admit that I haven’t read a single Rebirth-era Batman comic, so King’s run is foreign to me. I heard good stuff in the beginning, but not as much good stuff after the wedding point.

I feel DC put too much pressure on King, especially when the gamble that was the hiring of Brian Michael Bendis away from Marvel didn’t work out as well as they’d expected. It was unfair, and now King’s paying the price. The only other person who could get Batman right now is probably Bendis. So, congrats to anyone happy about that. That’s gotta be the worst thing about working in comics. You’re just plugging along, plotting your book, and then the publisher nabs some big name in a major coup, and that name is gunning for your book. They smile at the summits, but it’s been their dream to write your book. Anyway, DC hasn’t released an official statement yet, so here’s hoping for the best for all involved.

UPDATE

Here’s one of the perks of a later post. So, it was announced this evening that King and Clay Mann would be moving over to a spin-off title called Batman/Catwoman. Meanwhile, the Batman title will move back to a monthly schedule, so that it can more closely align with DC continuity. This is basically them saying, “Here’s some bullshit title for you to finish your little story while we clean up the mess you made.” So, since BM/CW is a 12-issue series, and King’s Batman run ends at #85, he’ll basically be getting his 100 issues, but they can easily say anything he does in it “doesn’t count” since they’ve committed the main Batman book to being all about continuity. Kinda sucks, but that’s the business, I suppose.

Trailer Park


Terminator: Dark Fate

One of the biggest issues Terminator fans seem to have is the matter of continuity. Basically, there’s always the question of When Does This Take Place? Seeing as how this is considered a direct sequel to Terminator 2: Judgment Day, that question is pretty moot for the other sequels in the franchise now. And, seeing as how I’ve never been a “Terminator person”, this won’t be an issue to me, as I’ve only ever seen Judgment Day. Never saw Rise of the Machines, Salvation,nor Genisys. Hell, I’ve never even seen the original. So I think I’m in a pretty good place. I’ll see this, but probably not in a theater. The trailer, though it ends on a cool airborne scene, feels pretty flat to me. Am I alone there?


Star Trek: Picard

I’m gonna upset some people here, but I’ve got to be true to myself. This looks like a commercial for erectile dysfunction meds. It has all the hallmarks of one: older White man, taking part in some hobby out in nature, somewhat soothing voiceover. ED drugs always have to show active White men. It’s like “Look, Trevor! You can still go sailing!” They don’t do that for us. The most active Black folks get in medicine ads is we might be playing basketball. Otherwise, we’re sitting somewhere, with a hat on, maybe playing checkers. But I digress…

This is NOT a very good teaser, but CBS knows that they can pretty much give us anything with Picard in it, and folks will get excited. This doesn’t feel…organic. It definitely feels like a fake ad that was created within the world of a television show. It’s just odd to see something of a news teaser in a society that I thought had long moved past such things. I know they have reporters, as Jake Sisko was one, but we’ve never really SEEN what a reporter does in the world of Star Trek. Anyway, I’m still not sure this is gonna get me to pay for CBS All Access, especially hearing the behind the scenes issues the show has been having.

Links I Loved

  • This is pretty self-serving of me, but I was a guest on the Nerd Lunch Podcast this week, as we revisited the Amalgam comic event, where popular Marvel and DC characters were mixed together, and came up with some of our own. It was a really fun show, so you should give it a listen.
  • My good buddy Tim got a chance to interview writer Jonathan Hickman about his upcoming X-Men run. I don’t care much about the comics, as they relaunch the X titles every 18 months. I’m more impressed by how much traction Tim’s piece is getting, even linked to by Marvel.com.
  • My other good buddy, Kevin, has launched a new podcast, The Team Hellions Podcast. It’s still in its infancy, but one day you’ll be able to tell folks you got in on the ground floor of something great. He’s a great storyteller, and it’s been fun seeing him make the jump from blog to pod.
  • Unless you’re new here, you already know about The Surfing Pizza. Well, good ol’ SP is creating Taco Bell Quarterly, which is a literary zine dedicated to the love of Taco Bell. Well, it’s so much deeper than that, actually. Yeah, I know. It’s gonna be awesome!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Adam Levine has decided to stop pretending to give a shit about discovering new pop stars, and will be leaving The Voice.
  • The Sonic the Hedgehog movie has been moved to 2020 so they can continue to “fix” it. Ugh, the “Bad Guys” won on this one…
  • It was Ecto Cooler Mania all over again, when folks learned that the 80s New Coke formula would be revived as a tie-in with the Netflix series Stranger Things. Coca-Cola lovingly gave fans the opportunity to pay $20 for a pack of the stuff that nearly drove them out of business 35 years ago. Ain’t nostalgia funny?
  • WWE, always with their finger on the pulse of what fans want, had Brock Lesnar – part-time, half-hearted wrestler – win Money in the Bank. Needless to say, the fans were livid, but they’re always mad about something.
  • Game of Thrones ended this week. The less said about that the better. Ya know, until 2027, when folks start lauding the finale as some kind of masterpiece, sorta like they’re doing with The Phantom Menace right now.
  • Despite seemingly getting that axe before last week’s Upfronts, there are rumblings that ABC’s Whiskey Cavalier may get a stay of execution.

So, if you were on Twitter this week, you sure read the EPIC thread by web designer Shane Morris. You see, he recounted the tale of the time he found a brick of heroin in a used van he’d purchased, and then proceeded to “move weight”, as the kids say, through a friend. Oh, and to make matters worse, he then told of how he ripped off the son of the original van owner – ya know, the guy whose heroin he’d sold – who also just happened to be a member of one of the worst gangs in the world. And he lived to tell about it.

I don’t want to paraphrase anything. You should just go read the thread for yourself.

Shit is CRAZY, right?! So, that’s why Shane Morris had –

Wait. We’re getting a live update as I type this. Apparently Shane has responded to the story with this:

WHAT?! YOU DON’T SAY!

Here’s the thing: after publishing that story, one of two things was gonna happen: 1) he was telling the truth, and he was gonna be murdered OR 2) he was lying, and he was gonna be murdered. He mentioned, by name, a gang that I don’t talk about in conversation. It’s THAT bad. They don’t just kill you. They kill everyone close to you. And he did this shit to sound like a big man on Twitter? Whew!

If you don’t feel like clicking the link, he basically said he did it in an attempt to see if he could top his own story about the time he ate 8 grams of mushrooms. When he saw how that had blown up, he just wanted to see if he could outdo his own story. Basically, he’s just a boring, 30-something, married software developer who wanted to have some Big Dick Energy for a bit. And I’ve GOT to know how his wife feels about the whole thing, now that they’re fearing for their lives and all.

I really hate to go there, but there is a hint of White Privilege at play when you think you can spin a yarn like this, citing one of the worst organizations around, and think there’ll be no repercussions. I’m not saying he thought he’d get away with it because he’s White, but I AM saying his “aloofness”, by virtue of his Whiteness, is why it never even occurred to him that some folks are not to be trifled with. At first I wondered if I was alone in that thinking, until in his confession, he states that his weed man even says to him, “Bro, that is the fucking whitest shit I have ever heard in my entire life.” Vindicated!

Morris went from being cock of the walk, with a movie deal in place for his story, to hiding on a friend’s couch, all in the span of 72 hours. That internet: she’ll make ya and then she’ll break ya!

I will say that I have never felt more seen than by this statement: “You might not understand this yet, but there’s a point you reach in your early 30s, after you get married, when you stop showering for 3–4 days sometimes, and you’re watching yoga videos, and you’re like, ‘Holy shit. What the hell happened to me? I feel like the least cool person on the planet.'”

I feel ya, Shane, but I’ve never woken up from that to the realization that I should start a gang war. So, you’re on your own now, buddy. Let this be a cautionary tale for you kids out there: don’t court trouble to impress strangers!

So, Live In Front Of A Studio Audience had the West Week Ever.

03rd May2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 5/3/19

by Will

Well, would you look at this! A whole post dedicated to recent happenings in pop culture! Been a while since we’ve had one of these, huh? I took last week off because I knew a lot of folks had gone dark so as not to have Endgame spoiled for them. And the week before that, I took you back to some of the great fires in sitcom history (and the stats showed me you care for stuff like that WAY more than this post! Guess I ought to do something about that). Anyway, I’m back to pop culture because, honestly, I need the practice. My annual TV network upfronts post is coming in 2 weeks, and I’m actually pretty scared. Not only am I somewhat out of touch, but it’s looking like this was a terrible pilot season. How bad was it? Well, The CW cancelled NOTHING. That…that just doesn’t happen. This means there was nothing in development that they felt was strong enough to join their schedule. The CW. So, if things are this bad for them, I can only imagine how bad it’ll be for the big boys. One doesn’t simply walk into an upfronts post – especially in a year full of dogs. So, I’m here to brush off the cobwebs.

Didn’t really expect to spark the CGI Furry Civil War this week, but it almost happened. Late last week, I tweeted that I didn’t really understand for whom Detective Pikachu was made. I mean, sure, it’s an engaging world where Pokémon are just regular creatures, but there are certain choices that don’t make sense to me, like Ryan Reynolds as the voice of Pikachu. Did Tara Strong turn them down or something? Reynolds is not the voice I’d imagine coming from Pikachu, so it makes me feel like they’re going for that Deadpool sardonic wit as opposed to cutesy. Anyway, after posting that, a bunch of 40 year old men came to the movie’s defense, like “This movie is for ME!” Okie doke.


So, imagine my surprise when there was such backlash to the release of the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer this week. The world that had embraced Detective Pikachu with open arms was shitting all over Sonic. I mean, I get the complaints. He looks weird, it’s a tired “CGI character in the real world” plot, it looks nothing like the games, and then there’s the reemergence of 90s Jim Carrey. It’s a lot. But you’d think the trailer jumped out of the computer and shot folks’ grandmothers in the face. Some Poindexter online tried to argue that Pikachu was clearly a universe crafted with care, where the characters are accepted residents, while Sonic is just lazy by throwing him into our world in a tired battle against the military. I told this person they sure knew a lot about a movie that wasn’t even out yet. Got blocked.

My argument is, at the end of the day, it’s the same shit. It’s all part of a new “genre” that you might as well call “CGIve Action”, and there’s a spectrum. You can have CGI creature in human world, like these two movies, and it runs all the way to Disney’s upcoming “live action” The Lion King. This is just the world we live in now. But to argue if one furry property is better than another just seems stupid. It’s really just a popularity contest. In 2019, Pokémon is more popular than Sonic. It’s really that simple, though folks will come up with all sorts of reasons as to why I’m wrong. It’s a lot like the concept of harassment. It’s “harassment” if you’re not attracted to the harasser. Otherwise, it’s simply “courting”. Everyone wants to be “booed up” with Pikachu, while Sonic is the ugly girl they hooked up with at camp but won’t acknowledge when they’re all back in school.

Anyway, the Let People Enjoy Things! crowd is real vocal until it comes time to shit on something they don’t like. I got response after response from strangers with anime avatars about how lazy Sonic looked, while so much care had clearly been put into Detective Pikachu. I just stopped responding after a while because life is short and I was never gonna get back that time I was wasting. I thought that would be the end of it, until last night, when reports started coming out that Paramount was going to “fix” Sonic’s design.

Like the movie, hate the movie, this is a terrible decision by Paramount. A project was changed due to audience backlash. Whatever happened to creative and artistic vision? For all we know it was a very vocal minority. Sure, you might support this decision because it’s for something you didn’t like. However, remember all those folks who hated Rose Tico? Or the Release the Snyder Cut folks? This just emboldens them. Seriously, whoever made this decision at Paramount needs to be fired, because this gives hope to every Fuck Star Wars or Fuck Captain Marvel psychotic out in these streets. A studio bowed to the pressure of a vocal minority who’ll swear they were the majority. I can’t even begin to fully capture how horrible a precedent this sets, yet here we are. The funny thing is, though, there simply isn’t enough time to fix anything. Even if the VFX team works overtime, it just means they’re screwing over all the licensees, as Sonic’s appearance will no longer match any of the movie merch that’s already been created. Paramount should’ve just taken the loss and moved on to the next thing. To be honest, outside of their cable channel that no one watches, I didn’t even realize Paramount was still a thing. If they keep making decisions like this one, they won’t be for much longer.


Burger King was trending on social media for this video yesterday. There’s been a lot of chatter online about their new marketing campaign addressing mental health. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety (“Not YOU, Will!”), the campaign speaks to me, but probably not in its intended fashion. You see, when I was in 7th grade, it was my lone year in public school. I remember that someone put snot on my locker in much the same way the “skank” finds gum on hers. I’m sure it was one of the kids who routinely called me “faggot” that year. Ain’t kids a buncha stinkers?

Anyway, I feel like the commercial would’ve worked without the associated boxes. Instead, like my pal @thesurfingpizza said, I just wanna collect the boxes. Can you choose a box or is it at random? Can I just go up and order a DGAF Meal? Plus, it feels kinda juvenile. Case in point: the wife and I toured a preschool over Spring Break, and they had this thing where the kids come in and put a clothespin on the emotion board to show how they’re feeling that day, so the teachers will know how to approach them. This feels like that. Like, if I come home with the PISSED Meal, and slam it on the table, the family is gonna go “OH SHIT!” and scatter immediately. Actually, that might be kinda cool…

Trailer Park

The Righteous Gemstones (HBO)

This show is sure to ruffle some feathers when it premieres, but it looks SO GOOD. The only people offended will be the folks who need a wake up call from megachurch-owning televangelists, but it’s also gonna give cynical atheists quite a bit of ammunition. I don’t even have HBO, but I love everyone in this, so you’d better believe I’m going to find some way to watch it.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 6 (ABC) 

I just can’t get excited about this show anymore for 2 reasons: 1) the events of Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame are pretty much a big “Fuck You” to this series (I’ll get more into this later) and 2) the show’s inability to let go of actors is really starting to grate on me. I love Clark Gregg as much as the next guy, but let the dude go. This whole “He only looks like Coulson, but isn’t Coulson” is just the Ward saga all over again. I don’t feel like sitting through that again. Plus, it can only end one of two ways: he truly is evil and gets defeated in some ambiguous manner (he totally gets defeated ’cause the show has already been picked up for season 7) OR he’s redeemed somehow. Knowing the show, and the Whedon DNA in it, I’d bet on option #2. I know folks say last season was great, but I didn’t even make it through the 2-hour season premiere. I’ve fought long and hard about “No, guys! This is the show that actually matters to the MCU!”, but I no longer see how that’s possible. I feel like it’s overstayed its welcome at this point, and if everything truly isn’t connected, then I’m ready to get off this ride.

Will’s Jukebox


“More Hearts Than Mine” – Ingrid Andress

The gist of this song is to not bring anyone you’re dating home to meet your friends and family. Why? ‘Cause if/when y’all break up, they’ll be breaking more hearts than just yours. Actually, the chick in the song is pretty resilient, ‘cause she’s like “I’ll get over it, but you’ll be hurting these other people.” It’s more about protecting your loved ones than the other way around. I just found it an interesting angle for a song. And I know folks think I skew too country, but I’d say this song is without genre. Seriously, in the early 00s, there were all these artists like Jem and Nellie McKay and Rufus Wainwright who really didn’t fit standard “genres”. I loved all of them, and I’d put this in that club.


“Late Night Feelings” – Mark Ronson ft. Lykke Li

I liked Lykke Li’s “Little Bit”, which is now about ten years old. Damn. And in ten years, she still hasn’t really become a household name. That’s really a shame. In any case, on this song, she sounds like she’s vying for the Gaga Belt, which Stefanie vacated when she went off to bang Bradley Cooper. I love the vintage feel of this one, but I wonder if I’d love it as much without the visuals of the video. Seriously, she even kinda looks like a Gaga impersonator here. Anyway, it’s actually Mark Ronson’s song, and I’m convinced he’s a goddamn Time Lord. He has mastered these long gone genres that don’t really get a lot of play these days. Remember that Amy Winehouse’s 60s-tinged Black to Black was pretty much masterminded by Ronson. I swear that, without Ronson, she would’ve died an unknown. Or she might still be alive, struggling along, ‘cause she wouldn’t have had the fame she got following the success of Black. Want proof? Check out her Ronson-less debut, Frank. Anyway, with this song, I see Ronson’s managed to move up a decade.


“Me” – Taylor Swift ft Brendon Urie

I haven’t really fucked with Taylor since 1989. I only saw this video because it auto-played as an ad following another video I watched. That’s shifty! Or is it SWIFTY? Anyway, this song is saccharine but does little for me. Honestly, in this pairing, I’m here more for Panic at the Disco dude than Taylor. Such an odd choice to have him here, but it works. This is the kind of song that will be a hit merely because it’s Taylor, but isn’t really a “hit song”.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Did you know that great storytelling doesn’t rely on gimmicks and can’t be ruined by “spoilers”? No? Then you clearly haven’t tweeted this week with someone who self-published a fantasy novel!
  • So, get this: Hulu has picked up 2 Marvel series, including Ghost Rider and Helstrom. To even put the cherry on top, Gabriel Luna, who played Ghost Rider on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be starring in this show. HOWEVER, this show will not be related to the character he played on AoS. HUH? Meanwhile, Helstrom is the Son of Satan, so I can only imagine they’re trying to tap into that Lucifer fanbase.
  • At some point during my hiatus, retro channel MeTV started airing their first original program, Collector’s Call. Hosted by Lisa Whelchel of The Facts of Life fame, each week focuses on someone’s strange and interesting collection. I don’t think MeTV even airs in the DC market anymore, but you can watch past episodes on the channel’s website.
  • The -ish empire is growing, as not only has Black-ish been renewed for a 6th season, but its prequel, Mixed-ish just got the greenlight from ABC, which will focus on Tracee Ellis Ross’s Rainbow growing up in the 80s/90s.

Links I Loved

This used to be a regular part of West Week Ever, but y’all weren’t clicking the links, so I killed it. Still, there’s so much great writing out there that needs to be shared, so let’s give it another shot.

Avengers: Endgame. What is there to say that hasn’t already been said? Or felt? By now, most of you have seen the film, so we can now relate to one another on that level. Sure, it wasn’t the best movie ever made, but considering it was the endcap to 11 years and 21 movies, it was a friggin’ masterpiece! So many moving parts, so many characters to showcase. And it did the damn thing. The way I see it is, if you never really cared for the MCU (I see you, James, Jenn, and Chad), this movie ain’t gonna be the one to convert you. However, if you’ve been a fan for most of this journey, then you’ll be pretty satisfied by what Endgame delivers.

Since everyone and their father has opinions on this film, I’m not gonna review it, per se. Instead, I’m just going to share the thoughts that went through my head following my two viewings of the film:

  • Hated Smart Hulk. Was really expecting a moment where he would forego that and truly HULK OUT
  • Not a fan of John Slattery as middle-aged Howard Stark. I know they don’t like to reference the TV shows much, but I feel like Dominic Cooper should’ve reprised the role, as he was Stark on Agent Carter, during this phase of Howard’s life. Plus, they had TV’s Jarvis! It just would’ve made sense.
  • Speaking of TV, we’re on a 24 timeline now. Despite the fact that 24 lasted 9 seasons, the seasons were set some distance apart – some as little as 18 months, while some were around 5 years. That means that the 24 timeline, once said in done, spanned about 17 years. What I’m getting at is Where does this leave Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Since it seems to take place in “real time”, and premieres in about a week, is it now set in the post-snap 5 year period? And, if they are gonna acknowledge that aspect of Endgame, how are they gonna explain how NONE of the team got dusted from The Snap?
  • I thought it was a bad move to just bring everyone back in the present day INSTEAD of backing up the clock 5 years. That leads to so many problems in the “real world”. Did insurance companies go bankrupt from all the payouts from The Snap, and did they get that money back when everyone returned? So, Peter Parker is just gonna go back to school, with a bunch of kids who were in elementary school when he disappeared? Think of all the folks who died during that period of time, either through suicide or natural causes, who still won’t see their loved ones again.
  • Great character work from Thor
  • So, a lot of the Timey-Wimey stuff didn’t make a lot of sense. We start with time travel, then we move to predestination paradoxes, and then we get to branch off into alternate timelines. In standard science fiction, Present Day Nebula would’ve disappeared when she killed Past Nebula because killing herself in the past would prevent her from existing in the present. This, however, was not “standard science fiction”, and I guess all of our time travel knowledge truly was shaped by Back to the Future.
  • As cute as the A-Force scene is, can we admit that Hope Van Dyne is hopelessly outclassed in this fight, and probably should’ve died on the battlefield? What makes it even funnier is how she’s the one with the most swagger as they’re slow-walking into battle.
  • Um, Clint murdered a LOT of people. Sure, they were “bad” people, but he straight up murdered them. Is he not gonna pay for those crimes?
  • Howard Stark says that he rarely chooses the greater good over self interest, and that shows in Tony, as well. Think about it: the only reason he doesn’t want to turn back the clock is that it would erase Morgan from existence. He told Cap and co that he had too much to lose from the time heist, but let’s be honest that there’d be a lot fewer questions to answer had they just reconstituted the universe at an earlier point in time or some shit, instead of just bringing everyone back to life five years later. Sure, his sacrifice is selfless, but the timeline, man, the timeline…
  • The Morgan stuff really got to me, since my oldest is her age. I’m not about to go die to save the galaxy, but it was still like “Huh, Tony Stark and I have something in common.”
  • I said this on social media, but it’s still true: In the MCU, after his Winter Soldier programming is broken, Bucky’s characterization can best be described as “Older brother, just home from rehab, who really hopes the treatment sticks this time”.
  • It’s interesting to see what Steve Rogers will look like when he’s addressing an empty chair onstage at the 2024 Republican National Convention.

Anyway, all these thoughts aside, it was such an amazing experience. It’s also a film that you MUST see in the theater. Now that the spoilers are out, I’m not sure if it’ll have the same effect, but it was transformative sharing those emotions and twists and turns with a room full of strangers. I had never given much of a shit about the “movie-going experience” until I saw this film. It just… *chef’s finger kiss*. As you can probably figure out by now, Avengers: Endgame had the West Week Ever.

19th Apr2019

The Great Sitcom Fires of the 80s & 90s

by Will

In today’s crazy world, it’s hard to imagine there was once a simpler time. You didn’t have to worry about collusion with foreign powers or the reemergence of diseases long defeated. No, if you travel back to the 80s, there were 3 big things you had to worry about if you were a kid:

  1. Kidnappers: If there was a pirate flag for the decade, it would be emblazoned with the silhouette of a van and a bowl of candy. To hear grownups tell it, kidnappers were everywhere. They were watching you at the park, they were scoping you out in the supermarket aisle, and they were waiting for you to get lost at the mall.
  2. Radon: an odorless, colorless gas that could kill you at ANY TIME?! I’m amazed we don’t still talk about this silent murderer, but I guess carbon monoxide had a better agent.
  3. FIRE

Yeah, #3 is what we’re going to talk about today. In the America of the 1980s, fire could strike at any time. You could just be enjoying your fresh pack of Bonkers, and burst into flames right in front of your friends. Yes, it was THAT dire! As with all things dangerous, the anti fire lobby teamed up with Hollywood to give us a bunch of Very Special Episodes of our favorite shows to drive home just how important it was to be prepared for fire to strike. Every school class did the field trip to the fire house where, if you were lucky, you got one of those red fire hats made out of the same cheap plastic as a Ben Cooper Halloween costume mask. We were all instructed to have a fire evacuation plan at home, where you were supposed to have those little rope ladders ready to go if you lived above the ground floor. The bottom line is that in the 1980s fire, like the Wu-Tang Clan, was nothing to fuck with. Fire was so prevalent that Billy Joel released a public statement to let people know that he wasn’t the one responsible for all the blazes.

As I was raised on all things television, a lot of these episodes have stuck with me over the years, and I thought we’d take a look back at them and see if any resonated with y’all, too.

When I think of sitcom fires, the first one that comes to mind is from Webster. If you don’t remember Webster, it was ABC’s Great Value version of NBC’s hit Diff’rent Strokes. Instead of little person Gary Coleman being adopted by a rich White man, little person Emmanuel Lewis was adopted by a White yuppie couple, whom he affectionately called “Ma’am and George”. Webster’s parents were killed in a car accident, but he’s taken in by George, who was both his godfather and one of his father’s old NFL teammates. Kinda like if OJ took in one of Al Cowlings’ kids. So, when the show starts, Ma’am and George live in this swanky Chicago condominium – until shortly into second season. You see, Webster gets a chemistry set, and he defies his parents’ wishes by messing with it after bedtime. Well, the whole thing gets away from him rather quickly, and he ends up burning up the apartment.

Let’s look at a few things here, because there’s a lot to unpack. They weren’t in a single family residence, but rather an apartment. That means when fire strikes one unit, it affects several others. And whatever isn’t damaged by fire is damaged by the water used to put it out. I remember Webster didn’t really seem to get in trouble, and the family moved to a house out in the suburbs where he had a sweet dumbwaiter he could use to go up and downstairs. Now, I don’t know what the appropriate punishment is for destroying an apartment, as well as several adjoining units, but whatever it is, Webster sure as Hell didn’t get it. If anything, it seemed like this actually made his life better. I’m supposed to be scared of fire, right? ‘Cause it’s deadly and causes a lot of destruction? Instead, it just made me terrified of chemistry sets. Try harder next time, Hollywood!

So, next on the docket of memorable sitcom fires was Punky Brewster. If ya don’t remember Punky, she was an orphan (the 80s were big on orphans – probably because all these kids had run away from their kidnappers) who was taken in by cantankerous widower Henry Warnimont. Punky was a free spirit who marched to the beat of her own drum, with her trusty dog, Brandon, at her side. Henry made a living running a photography studio at the mall. What’s that, young fella? Oh, well, before digital cameras, people actually used to get their film developed down at the mall. Huh? Oh, well, a mall is a big building with lots of stores where people used to shop? Well, yeah, I guess it was like a brick & mortar Amazon. Can I finish my story here?

So, Henry ran the studio but, just like Webster‘s second season retool, Punky Brewster also resorted to fire to shake things up. And it sparked an INFERNO. It all happened at the worst time, as Henry was only Punky’s foster parent at the time, so when the fire resulted in him hospitalized for a bleeding ulcer, Punky found herself placed into Fenster Hall, which was the local orphanage. In a five-part saga that wouldn’t be topped until Mighty Morphin Power Rangers‘ “Green With Evil” story arc, Punky tries to escape from Fenster Hall, she’s placed with a wealthy foster family, and she’s finally adopted by Henry by the end. All of this because of one fire. Everyone remembers the series for one particular episode. Yeah, that one. The one with the refrigerator. But this saga ranks right up there with that one for me, as I was a big Punkyhead. Was that a thing? Let’s see if we can make that a thing.

 

The most memorable sitcom fire is one I’ve discussed before, and it took place on The Facts of Life. A spinoff of Diff’rent Strokes, the show began set at the Eastland School for Girls. As the series went on, through some sort of slave labor/internship program, the most popular girls ended up working for house mother, Mrs. Garrett, in her baked goods shop, Edna’s Edibles. In 2019, this name would indicate an entirely different type of business, but I assure you Mrs. Garrett’s brownies weren’t the “special” kind. Introduced in season 4, Edna’s Edibles was one of the main sets of the show until season 7, when a fire destroyed the fuck out of that store.

This kicked off a three-part saga (very rarely could a sitcom fire and resolution be contained to just one episode), where the store was reborn as a prototypical Gadzooks/Spencer wacky gift shop, called Over Our Heads. Need a giant prop pencil, or an ironic pink flamingo, or just a piano necktie? They’ve got ya covered. It didn’t get more 80s than Over Our Heads, and it was a very forced gesture to bring the late 70s series into the then “NOW”.

Here’s an entry that most folks never talk about, but seeing as how it aired in the same block as ALF, I know more folks saw it than probably realize. Yeah, I’m taking about The Hogan Family. Launched in 1986 as Valerie, it starred former The Mary Tyler Moore Show/Rhoda actress Valerie Harper as the matriarch of a middle class Chicago family. She had three sons (one of whom was played by Jason Bateman), and she was married to an airline pilot, played by Josh Taylor (also known as Jack McKay from Beverly Hills 90210). It was a fairly popular show, especially when it was moved to the post-ALF timeslot. And that’s when the trouble started. You see, Harper attributed the increase in ratings to her performance, so she felt that she deserved a pay increase. She just stopped showing up for work, as similar tactics had worked in her favor back on Rhoda. Well, then-Head of Programming at NBC, Brandon Tartikoff, didn’t have time for her shenanigans. Between the second and third seasons, they killed off her character in a car accident, and renamed the show Valerie’s Family: The Hogans, where Sandy Duncan and her glass eye move in to help her newly-widowed brother take care of his sons.

Photo courtesy of Allison’s Written Words

By this point, you’re probably like “Where’s the fire, Will?” OK, I’m getting to that. You see, in a third season episode called “Burned Out”, the sons are playing around in the attic, and stumble upon an old lamp. They try to turn it on, but nothing happens, and they go on about their business while forgetting to unplug it. Well, it begins to spark, one thing leads to another, and it burns up the house. What’s memorable about it is two-fold: 1) it was something of a Scorched Earth Protocol, as the fire basically wiped any trace of Valerie that was left in the house and 2) It made me deathly afraid of faulty wiring. Like, I unplug EVERYTHING because I’m always scared it’s going to start sparking when I leave the room. 75% of my possessions are paper. You know how much I’d have to lose if something like that occurred?! That’s right: 75% of my stuff. I’m glad to see y’all excel at critical thinking. In an interesting twist, apparently McDonald’s sponsored that episode to spread the word about fire safety. In fact, they covered the bills for the fire damage to the set, and they also aired fire safety ads during the episode. Anyway, the next season, the show was officially renamed The Hogan Family, as the fire had successfully removed Valerie from the equation once and for all.

Sometimes a sitcom fire isn’t really a scary thing, but rather a plot device to give purpose to a secondary character. That was certainly the case with Family Matters. If you don’t know what Family Matters was, then you’re too young to be reading this site, but here’s the gist for the cheap seats in the back: a spinoff of Perfect Strangers, Family Matters was a staple of ABC’s Friday night TGIF lineup as it originally followed the lives of Harriet and Carl Winslow, as well as their kids, all living in the suburbs of Chicago. Then lighting struck with Steve Urkel – originally planned to be a one-off character, the stereotypical nerd was so popular that he eventually took over (and some might argue ruined) the series.

Anyway, on the road to becoming The Urkel Show, the series had too many characters that it didn’t know how to handle. The first to go was younger daughter Judy, played by Jaimee Foxworth. As the scythe kept swinging, it appeared that the target was gonna land on Telma Hopkins who played Rachel – sister to Harriet, and mother to Little Richie. You don’t just fire a member of Tony Orlando & Dawn without cause, though, so the producers gave her something else to do.

In the second season (there’s that season two retool again!), Laura Winslow and Urkel were working at Leroy’s, which was basically the Family Matters version of The Max. Well, Urkel being Urkel, he burned down Leroy’s, with Leroy deciding he had no desire to rebuild. At this point, Rachel decides that she can use the site to open a restaurant. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the funds until Mother Winslow decides to kick in some coin. The former Leroy’s is rechristened Rachel’s Place and, just like Webster, Urkel is rewarded for his involvement instead of punished.

You don’t get episodes like these anymore. I hesitate to say “They don’t make ’em like they used to”, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw a devastating fire used as a plot point in a sitcom. While kidnappings still occur, I almost wonder if Y2K retconned Radon and fire threats in some strange, Flashpoint-like fashion. Have there been some sort of anti-fire advancements made in the past 30 years? Nothing really comes to mind, but we really stopped sounding the alarm bells on that one. If it weren’t for the 25 fireman procedurals in primetime, you’d almost think firefighting was an antiquated profession, like blacksmithing or pager salesman. Anyway, heavyhanded as they were, these episodes have stuck with me for +30 years, so I guess they did something right. And no fires yet to speak of in my neck of the woods, so let’s keep our fingers crossed!

 

22nd Mar2019

Thrift Justice – Physical Education

by Will

I swear, I’ll eventually get back to pop culture ephemera and old toys, but I’ve spent so much time taking in physical media “strays” that I still have some stuff to say on the matter. I know folks love seeing crazy “Oh my gosh! Can you believe it?!” stuff, but I also know folks like to see complete busts, because it’s 2019 and schadenfreude rules the day! Here’s a situation that falls somewhere in the middle.

While I pick up a lot of stuff from thrift stores, during my Thrift Justice posting break, I adopted a new approach, where I scour yard sale apps for deals. I mean SCOUR! You know how folks spend a ton of time on Twitter or Instagram? That’s me on Facebook Marketplace. My wife says that I have an addiction, but I don’t think I’d ever perform oral sex on a stranger in a dark alley for any of this stuff. THAT’s addiction! So, to her, I say “Whatever”.

I already explained my strategy last time, so you should now be familiar with the stuff that I feel looks promising and what kind of stuff I’d pass on. Let’s talk about a recent example, where I initially passed, eventually caved, and then learned a valuable lesson.

I saw these pics on OfferUp a few weeks ago, and there was some pretty interesting stuff there. Just at a glance, you see the complete Six Feet Under, the complete Sex and the City, the complete 24, most of Nip/Tuck, and some Star Trek: Voyager seasons sticking out here and there. Not a bad lot. The bad thing, however, is that this fool wanted $200 for everything. Yeah, unless your name is Samuel J. Goody, you have no right asking for that kind of money for this – especially when it’s all used. Here’s the thing, though: with all the stuff I listed, it was definitely WORTH $200, but here’s where psychology comes into play: This is a great profit for a reseller, but it’s a terrible price for a reseller to PAY.

If you’ve watched American Pickers, or any show like that, you know that you’ve got to be able to make some money on your acquisitions. There needs to be “meat on the bone”. There’s not a lot of meat on that bone at $200. A used complete series of most television shows is in the neighborhood of $30-40. You can get a bit more if it’s out of print (For example, the season 1 & 2 set for California Dreams will still net you about $40 by itself. No such thing as a complete run, as they never released the final season. Not even in one of those on demand programs). Keep in mind, though, the series needs to have at least 5 seasons. Don’t expect to make any money off Da Ali G Show or something like that (for example, Chappelle’s Show is borderline worthless because everyone owned it at some point. They might as well have given it out at stoplights). So, just looking at the series I mentioned above, that’s a good $150-200 right there, and those were just a fraction of what I saw.

I saw the listing, but it was too rich for my blood, so I passed on it. I knew he was never gonna sell it at $200, though, and that was proven by how it just sat for weeks. So, I wasn’t surprised when one night I noticed he’d slashed the price to $50. Now we were in business! I messaged him, but we were also in the middle of a snowstorm and my car was in the shop. I wasn’t gonna miss out on dis bitch, tho!

I manage to get over to my mother’s house, and steal her car while she’s still asleep (CRIME!). I drive down to the guy’s apartment, which is in complete disarray. Ya see, he’s actually moving to Richmond that day, which is the reason for his desperation price drop. He can’t take the stuff with him, so he dropped it to fire sale prices. There are boxes everywhere, as he’s waiting for the movers to come. Still, on the far wall, I see that familiar media case, with the Star Trek: Voyager sets on it. He’s out of boxes by this point, and apparently expected me to bring my own. I did not, so he hands me some garbage bags. And I start bagging. He tells me that everything on this side of the apartment is up for grabs, ’cause it’s not coming with him. I don’t know if that means I’ve got to pay more or that he’s throwing it in with the DVDs. We’ll come back to that.

As I’m bagging, I’m kinda overwhelmed by everything he has. I mean, for one thing, there are about 25 travel DVDs and Blu Rays. I don’t even know who would watch those things, and he clearly wasn’t the type, as none of them had been opened. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they’re the kind of video you’d play for ambiance if you ran a nail salon. Top 10 National Parks and Europe In A Day. Stuff like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that 24 season 7 is on the floor, off to the side of the case. I didn’t think much of it, as the rest of the series was in one of my trash bags, so I just grabbed it and threw it in.

He also had quite a few collections from motivational speaker Anthony Robbins, and I wasn’t sure if they were included in the sale. I’ve had a strange fascination with Tony Robbins over the years (Does that stuff really work?), but I knew I probably couldn’t sell it, ’cause that Guthy-Renker/BeachBody infomercial stuff is always covered by copyrights that can get your eBay account deleted. Anyway, I said “Screw it”, and threw them in the bag, as well.

As I’m shoveling stuff into bags, I start to notice all the stuff I hadn’t been able to see in the pics on the app. For one, dude really loves musicals. And the Royal Family. So, if I had to do a sidewalk assessment of the guy, I’m picking up “gay man who learned to love himself through the power of Tony Robbins”. I start looking at other stuff over on the side, but nothing really catches my eye other than 2 things: a new Xbox One remote/keyboard, and a new pair of furniture covers to protect your couches from pets. You see, we were headed to Richmond that afternoon to go check out the dog that would eventually become ours. Oh, I haven’t mentioned we have a dog now? Yeah, he shits in the house and terrorizes the children. I’m not a fan right now. Anyway, I knew I didn’t want this potential dog messing up my furniture so I grabbed those covers. I had already thrown the Xbox remote into one of the bags, but I actually showed the covers to the guy, ’cause I wanted him to know I was taking them, and didn’t want to get shot in some stranger’s apartment over a pet cover dispute (You laugh, but a guy in TN was murdered by the guy offering him $200 for his Xbox One from Facebook Marketplace just a few weeks ago). At that point, he’s like “OK, how about $10?” Oh, so he’s gonna monetize everything he’s got, huh? Should I tell him about the remote? I think NOT. So, I only have $5 left after the DVD purchase, and tell him I’ll only take one since that’s all I’ve got. Some folks might be like “Don’t worry about it. Take both.” He was not one of those folks. So, I shove the cover into one of the bags, give him the $5 bill, thank him, and leave.

As I’m driving home, I’m giddy about these 2 giant trash bags of physical media that were going to make me a mini fortune of “walking around money”. Maybe I can finally show my face at the comic shop that’s been holding merchandise for me since October. I’m kinda hoping they think I’m dead by this point. Then, as I’m driving, I’m starting to have my Usual Suspects moment. I’m piecing together all the Keyser Soze stuff in my head, reliving the past hour or so. And it starts to occur to me all of the stuff I don’t remember seeing. Despite what I had seen on the app, I now couldn’t remember actually putting Six Feet Under in one of the bags. Or even Sex and the City. As I kept driving, other stuff was now apparent that it wasn’t actually there when I got there. No wonder he had dropped the price – THE MOTHERFUCKER HAD PULLED A BAIT & SWITCH AND REMOVED ALL THE VALUABLE STUFF! At this point, the lot was basically worth the $50 he was asking.

You’d think I’d rush home and immediately take inventory, but you would be wrong. I kinda stewed in it for a while. Life got in the way, we got this shit machine of a dog, and the bags sat in the back on my car for about 2 weeks. When I finally got around to seeing what it was I’d actually gotten, my theory became truth. There was no collection about a sad looking White family that runs a funeral home. There was no collection about Carrie Bradshaw and her antics in a pre-cell phone New York City. There was no collection about plastic surgeons with no moral compass. Don’t get me wrong – there was still stuff there. I mean, he had all of Prison Break, and most of Oz and 24 – all still sealed. He had some new Martha Stewart collections, for the DIY folks out there, as well as some rare Wilton cake decorating tutorial DVDs. He had some musicals I could add to the personal collection. But the lot was no longer the goldmine it was teased as being.

This was a “teachable moment” to me, as it made me aware of some things I do in these transactions that probably need to change. For one, when I make a sale, I never count the money in front of the person. I think it comes down to not wanting to insult them, and then have that escalate into me being shot. I’ve never been stiffed, but I just try to be “Cool Dude” who’s all “Oh, it’s no problem. Thanks for meeting me!” Another thing I need to do is take my time and really assess what it is I’m buying in these transactions. I used to forget to do this when I first started reselling. I’d go to the thrift store, find something like an old G.I. Joe vehicle that was about 70% complete, and swear there was a buyer out there for it. Sure, maybe ONE, but I wasn’t on his radar, and I’d end up sitting on junk. In that setting, I learned to take my time and really inspect the stuff I was buying, so I wouldn’t end up with a ton of Beast Wars Transformers, with exposed ball joints indicating there were limbs missing. Here, I should have at least glanced before I started just shoveling into bags, and I should’ve had the balls to ask about the missing stuff had I noticed it while I was still in the apartment.

For a brief moment, I considered messaging the guy to ask “Hey, what the Hell?”, but I didn’t really think that was the best approach. Plus, Tony Robbins might have instructed him to stand his ground and curse me out, and I simply couldn’t have that! He didn’t mark the lot as sold on the app for weeks, so I wasn’t being asked to leave a review for how the transaction went, which was actually a relief. I mean, I don’t blame him for removing the more valuable stuff if he had another channel to sell where he’d make more money. No, I blame him for not updating the pics on OfferUp, making it seem like I, the buyer, would be receiving things I did not, in fact, receive. To borrow from the vernacular of the day, his ad was simply FAKE NEWS!

I’ve already flipped Prison Break for $35, and the Xbox remote for $25, so I’ve gotten my money back, but 24 was missing the final season, and one of the Voyager seasons was missing a disc, so it’s gonna be an uphill battle unloading some of this stuff. Look before you leap, True Believer!

Notes From The Road

When I first started Thrift Justice, it was supposed to end with this little segment where I give a little tip or trick that I’ve learned while thrifting. Since this whole post was something of a cautionary tale, however, I figured it already took care of that. So, instead, I wanted to connect you to some others out there with thrifting experience.

 

First up, there’s my brother from another mother, Team Hellions. He’s got quite the reselling cottage industry going, where he specializes in anything from VHS to old print ads. He’s also one Hell of a writer, and he just celebrated his 10th blogging anniversary. Visit his site to see the massive magazine lot he probably just acquired, but stay for the in-depth coverage of his latest project: the pop culture of 1983!

Also, be sure to check in on The Surfing Pizza. When I discovered this site, it was incredible writing about nostalgia – ya know, “Here’s something you probably remember.” In recent years, however, the focus has changed into “Here’s something that you probably remember, and here’s how it affected me.” That personal touch made all the difference, and the site has been firing on all cylinders ever since!

They’ve both got some thrifting stories to tell, so be sure to check them out!

08th Feb2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2/8/19

by Will

So, is this a monthly thing now? I’m not entirely sure. I mean, I was thinking of ways to kind of retool this feature and make it more engaging. I know folks don’t like to read, so I thought in terms of stand-up comedy, trying to come up with my “tight 15”. However, that plan isn’t gonna work this week. There’s quite a bit to talk about, but I’m gonna be selective. We’re not gonna cover everything from the week ’cause, well, it was a dumpster fire.

I’ve been wavering about whether to address this, but I kinda feel like I owe it to some folks. You see, almost ten years ago, I did this thing on Twitter for the month of February, chronicling great moments in Black History. A year later, I kinda refined it and made it into a blog post. I had a lot of fun writing those things, and I guess it was some ploy to try to go viral. Over the years, February would roll around, and I would start with the tweets again. Some of them I LOVED, while some were just kinda “meh”, and I swore that I’d spend the next year thinking of better things to supplant the weaker jokes. However, the next thing I knew, February would roll around again, and I’d have nothing to show for that promise of new tweets. About 2 years ago, something changed.

I don’t really need to rehash politics on here, as y’all have eyes and ears. You know what’s going on in this country. Anyway, back when those seeds started to bear fruit, I kinda noticed a change in what I was seeing when those tweets went out. Now I’m not trying to say I’m on his level at all, but I had what I called my “Chappelle Moment”. If you don’t know, back before he infamously walked away from his Comedy Central show, he said one of the reasons was that he noticed that the laughter had changed. He found certain crowds were laughing at him rather than with him. It was like he had lost control of the audience, and I completely felt that. I noticed folks with MAGA accounts retweeting the stuff, and I wasn’t really liking the interactions I was seeing. So, that kinda put a bad taste in my mouth. However, we’re about to employ that “both sides” argument that’s so popular these days.

While this was going, there were other changes going on across social networks. #BlackTwitter was becoming something of a monolith, but I can’t get arrested by that crowd. They have never given a shit about anything I’ve done unless I’ve “caped” for a White man that had fallen out of favor for that particular period of time (this was prior to the rise of Cancel Culture). What I was doing was far from original, but just as the 1 Gotta Go dude saw a bunch of imitators rise up, I was seeing the unfunniest “Today in Black History” tweets going viral over there, and I guess I was like “Why are you drinking Dr. Thunder when you can have Dr. Pepper?” On top of that, this “friend” from high school had a moment on Facebook, where she felt the need to ask me why I only refer to Blackness to poke fun at it. “I only see you talking about Black people when you’re making jokes.” It’s like, “C’mon, Stephanie. We were all having a good time til you showed up with your bullshit.” So, I did a lot of thinking.

The whole “Why aren’t they retweeting MY stuff?” is clearly sour grapes, but at the end of the day I felt I’d lost control of the thing anyway. People would retweet them out of order (there actually is an ebb and flow to them), or blast them all out on one day. It wasn’t “mine” anymore. So, I stopped. I might do it again one day. Maybe I’ll keep my promise and actually spend the next 11 months thinking of new stuff for a grand return. I really don’t know what will happen, but all of that is why there are no Today In Black History tweets this year.

So, enough with the narcissism. Let’s take a look at the what happened in the world this week.

Oh, WORD? Blackface? He wanted to kill a random Black man? THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER IS BLACKMAILING THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD?!

OK, if you follow me on Twitter (@williambwest), I’ve already addressed some of this. Can’t look at the past through 2019 eyes. Northam was in blackface in 1984, yet the movie Soul Man, in which C. Thomas Howell dons blackface in order to scam an affirmative action scholarship, made $35 million (approximately $84 million today) just 2 years later. My thoughts have changed over the week regarding Neeson. Might talk about that another week. Might not. No, today, we’re gonna talk about Jeff Bezos. Again, this thread was on Twitter this morning, but I feel it needs to be restated here.

Jeff Bezos, the founder and CEO of Amazon, is being blackmailed by the National Enquirer‘s parent company, American Media Inc (AMI). See, Bezos has been poking the bear into AMI’s ties to the Saudi Arabian government, so AMI (believed to be acting under direction from their ally Donald Trump) tried to persuade Bezos to drop his investigation by threatening to release some salacious texts and pics that he may have sent to his new girlfriend while he was still married. Oh, did I mention that his private investigator believes these texts were intercepted by a government entity, possibly indicating that Trump is using the governmental tools at his disposal to target his enemies? Anyway, Bezos decided that he wouldn’t be bullied, so he got in front of it and revealed the whole thing, including the emails that AMI sent him. Wait a minute, though – he didn’t reveal the WHOLE thing. He never said “I sent these texts while I was still married, but that is a personal matter.” So, maybe AMI actually was on to something, but he burst their bubble.

Yeah, it’s fun to watch powerful people fight each other, but let’s not forget that some bystander always gets killed by debris. I’m not about to be so quick to cheer on Bezos, even if he IS “standing up to a bully”. To continue my comic analogy, this is like when The Hulk fights Namor. Sure, they’ve both been on the side of angels at one time or another, but it’s not always clear which one is the “good guy” in any given engagement, at first glance.

Of course we want Bezos to “win”, ’cause fuck the National Enquirer. However, when it’s all over, Bezos will still go back to being the richest man in the world, giving pretty much nothing to charity, and continuing to subject his employees to harsh working conditions. Not to mention the little alarm bells the letter set off for me. For example, sure, we encounter folks from all walks of life in our travels, but why has Bezos known the best private investigator in the business for 20 years? What else has that guy done for him? Or the fact that he takes credit for delivering all of Amazon’s initial orders to the post office HIMSELF, when it’s been confirmed many times over the years that his soon-to-be-ex-wife did a lot of the “courier” work in those days – the same ex-wife who’s kinda being slighted if the AMI narrative of “Married Executive Cheats on Wife and We’ve Got Proof!” turns out to be true.

At the end of that day, that’s none of our business. Nobody should be extorted. I’m just saying look at the actors in the roles before you decide to buy tickets to the show.

I’ve been watching a lot of television lately, and saw some stuff I wanted to discuss with you beautiful people.

I’ve got to admit that I kinda betrayed Conan O’Brien when he lost The Tonight Show. I’d been by his side since his NBC debut, yet while he was at his lowest point, I was kinda like “Eh, it wasn’t a great fit, so get over it.” When he and Andy moved to TBS, I never watched the show, and as he never entered the next morning’s watercooler conversation like his contemporaries, I found myself wondering why he was still doing this to himself. Just quit, and go fishing.

However, Conan recently entered the pop culture conversation as it was announced his TBS show was being retooled into a 30-minute format, forgoing suits and the band. I read a bunch of interviews with about about what we could expect from the new format, and to get a “temperature check” on where his head is at right now. I was really intrigued by a lot of what I read, and found myself checking out his Conan Without Borders travel specials on Netflix. This led to me falling down a YouTube rabbit hole, watching clips of the TBS show that I’d ignored the past 10 years.

Oh my God! What was wrong with me?! This stuff is so good! From his ribbing of associate producer Jordan Schlansky to the wacky adventures he gets into with his assistant, Sona, it felt like Old Conan. Late Night Conan, and not the guy who was trying to be “normal” for the earlier timeslot. I’m sure it’s documented on here, but I ALWAYS felt The Tonight Show was the wrong move for him. I understand it’s The Big Chair, and I was proud that he was “graduating”, but a lot of what made him special was not going to work in that timeslot. You think Leno could’ve had the Masturbating Bear? I’m sure he would have LOVED something that risky, but instead he had to stick to Jaywalking, asking randos stupid questions on street corners.

Anyway, all of this primed me for the debut of the new, sleeker Conan, and so far I’m not disappointed. Still get a monologue. Only one guest per show. There’s no padding. Still has that “We’re figuring this out as we go along” feel that he originally had on NBC – the same feel that made me a fan. So, if you haven’t checked it out, definitely catch up on Conan (we’re only 3 weeks into the new format).

Tropical Cop Tales – I don’t even know where to begin with this. Airing Fridays at midnight on Adult Swim, I can’t describe it. On the surface, it’s about 2 city cops who transfer to an island, and the crazy adventures that ensue. That’s basically all I can say. It’s, by far, one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. When it started, I immediately wondered “What the fuck am I watching?” In fact, it gave me an appreciation for drug users, ’cause I know they would embrace the shit out of this show. By the end of the second episode, though, I found myself loving it more than I ever thought possible. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. It has to be seen to be believed. Oh, and I had a nice chuckle when I realized the title was a play on “tropical cocktails”.

Teen Titans Go! Three of the shows I regularly watch on Cartoon Network had some great “homage” episodes this week. It kicked off with TTG, where the writers throw some MAJOR SHADE at Stranger Things. In fact, the title of the episode is “Nostalgia Is Not A Substitute For An Actual Story”. Fuuuuckkkkkk. I should point out that this kinda aligns with my initial impression of the show, which is why I’ve never cared to watch it. Anyway, it’s a time travel episode, where the team goes back to the 80s. If you loved that part of Teen Titans Go to the Movies, then you’ll LOVE this episode.

Then, We Bare Bears had a Power Rangers homage, where the bears are using their imagination to become a part of their favorite show, Ultra Meteorite Fighters. Since that show features 4 teens, and there are only 3 bears, they use their imagination to conjure up a 4th team member, Silver Bear, voiced by the Greatest Power Ranger of All Time, Jason David Frank (original Green Ranger). In a flip of the original Green Ranger Saga, Silver Bear starts out as the Bears’ ally, until they realize he’s out of control and try to cut him loose. That’s when he becomes the evil Black Stone, and they have to take him down. There’s Zord battles, and a Dragon Dagger. That 12-minute episode, though “unofficial”, was the best episode of Power Rangers I’ve seen in the past 10 years. Not even lying.

Finally, if you weren’t aware, Unikitty from The LEGO Movie has her own cartoon. I kinda hate it. It’s just got TOO much going on, and it gives me whiplash. Still, in the episode I saw the other day, Unikitty finds Batman’s suit at the laundromat, and proceeds to put it on and patrol the city. The entire time, LEGO Batman (again voiced by Will Arnett) keeps calling her, demanding that she return his suit. There are some funny in-jokes if you’re a Bat fan, and it was certainly the first episode of that series that I enjoyed.

There’s a lot of interesting stuff going on in the world of podcasts. First off, the guys over at Nerd Lunch announced that they’ll be winding down…soon? I really don’t know. They have a date in mind, but they’re not going to tell us until it gets close. This hits a bit close to home for me, as they’re probably the last show standing that invites me on as a guest. So, I guess I’m retiring from podcast guesting soon? I guess we’ll have to see.

Since I totally made their swan song about me, let’s continue on the narcissistic train, shall we? I kinda have this unspoken (until now) rule that I don’t listen to podcasts that have never had me on as a guest. It’s not that I’m so important, but I like having that relationship with them. I like that, instead of yelling at my phone or the computer, I can email or tweet them and say, “You meant to say ‘Hugo Weaving’.” Yeah, I’m an asshole. Plus, there are just WAY too many podcasts out in the world (approximately 630,000, according to CBS), so why waste time on something where I don’t have a personal connection? Anyway, with all “my” shows coming to an end (Did *I* kill them?), I’ve had to “diversify my bonds” when it comes to podcasts. Let’s see where that’s taken me, shall we?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – This was discovered during my personal Conan Renaissance. Launched back around October, there are only about 15 or so episodes at this point, and I binged them all last week. the premise is that Conan is so busy working that he doesn’t have any friends. So, he invites former show guests/people he’s always admired to record with him, to see if they might become friends. I like it because it’s all surface. It’s none of that “What was your motivation when you played this role?” Instead, it’s like “So, back when we were at SNL, I remember you used to love eating White Castle while wearing gloves.” I like funny anecdotes more than critical analysis. If you’re in that boat, then check it out!

Gettin’ Better – This one is hosted by comedian Ron Funches, and I learned about it when he was a guest on Conan’s podcast. If you’ve ever seen Funches, you already love him. It’s impossible to hate that guy. From his voice to the fact that he just comes off as “huggable”, you’ll be an instant fan. Anyway, his show features his friends who come to discuss ways in which they’re trying to better themselves. For example, Funches has lost over 140 lbs over the past 3 years, so he’s just brimming with positivity and what’s people to find their “thing”. It might sound “self-helpy”, but it’s a really good show typically featuring fellow comedians (and X-Pac!), talking about how they’re trying to “get better”.

The Ron Burgundy Podcast – It’s funny how “exclusive” means nothing anymore. iHeartRadio spent the whole holiday season bragging that they were gonna be the exclusive home of The Ron Burgundy Podcast, with Will Ferrell reprising his role from the Anchorman films. It was gonna debut Jan 31st. Then, they bumped the debut a week and the next thing you know, the ads changed to “Available wherever podcasts are found”. So, it’s basically like “Thanks, iHeartRadio for handling the marketing work for your competitors!”

Anyway, that unsteady marketing plan seems to be a good measure of the show itself. I was really wondering how it was gonna work, because there’d have to be some degree of “time displacement” for it to work, since podcasts didn’t exist during Ron’s heyday. Would he be in modern times? Would it be more of a radio play? Whatever it is, it doesn’t fully work. Yet.

The first 20 minutes are basically Ferrell stretching the joke that Ron doesn’t exactly know what a podcast is. He’s got this weary producer named Carolina where it’s not clear if she’s real or a character. Her delivery is forced, and by the end of the episode, you’re not entirely sure whose side she’s on. Meanwhile, the premiere episode had Ron tackling the True Crime genre. Basically, think of what you’d get if Ron Burgundy hosted Serial. Yeah, that idea works for about 10 minutes – not the 49 minutes that we get.

I’ll stick with it, ’cause I love Ferrell, and I love that character. Still, I’m not sure I’d recommend it yet. Anybody else listen to it and has any thoughts?

There’s no Things You Might Have Missed this week. Maybe next week. We’ll see. And nothing really stood out this week as being the BEST thing, so there’s no West Week Ever this week. Hang on, though, as we’re still getting our 2019 sea legs. We’ll figure this all out together. Anyway, leave a comment below, and don’t forget to subscribe!

18th Jan2019

West YEAR Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2018

by Will

2018 was the longest year in the history of years. It’s funny – I always look at past posts to figure out if I ever decided on a format for this wrap-up, and the past few years all start with “Man, this year SUCKED!” So, I guess things are just getting worse, huh? Anyway, when I first started doing West YEAR Ever, it was two-fold: 1) to bring attention to some of the “evergreen” posts I’d written throughout the year that you might have missed and 2) provide something of a director’s commentary to the West Week Ever choices I’d made over the past year. Here’s the rub, though: I didn’t really write any evergreen posts this year. Nope, my focus was pretty much solely on West Week Ever, which are totally disposable posts – which is a great way to think of 2018: disposable.

Between HarassmentWatch(TM), Trailer Park, Things You Might Have Missed This Week and, of course, West Week Ever, we talked about the celebrity wang danglers (reigning WYE Champ of 2017), looked at some movie trailers, I gave you bulletpoint news, and then I tried to point out something about the week that stood out above everything else. That’s the West Week Ever formula you’ve come to know over the past 6 years.

The most interesting stuff about the year is probably the stuff I didn’t write about. For example, I was interviewed by Vulture in anticipation of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, as I was considered a Miles Morales “superfan”. I sat on that chestnut for a couple months, anxiously waiting for the article to come out. Finally, my views on something would get more exposure! Well, it came out, and none of my contributions made the finished article. Womp womp.

Or the fact that I won a $50 gift card at the county fair by DOMINATING at 90s song trivia. I promptly used it to buy a gaming chair from Staples. I’m not even a gamer, but that’s a sweet ass chair!

Or the the fact that I won a pair of Google Home Hubs the week before Christmas, because I was miraculously caller #9 to a radio station (Thanks, WMZQ and iHeartRadio!).

Nah, I didn’t write about any of that. Probably should have. Oh well. Hindsight, and all that.

Anyway, let’s take a look back on 2018, and see if anything really stood out about it.

2018 In Movies

As far as movies went, I only saw 15 – down from last year’s 18, and WAY down from 2015’s 78.

1. Gotham By Gaslight
2. Black Panther
3. Ready Player One
4. Blockers
5. Avengers: Infinity War
6. Pitch Perfect 3
7. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
8. Ant-Man and the Wasp
9. Sorry to Bother You
10. Teen Titans Go to the Movies
11. The Meg
12. Venom
13. Megamind
14. The Christmas Chronicles – I have to review these last two here, as I watched them in that gap between my last post of 2018 and my first of 2019. This was a cute movie. Kurt Russell as Santa actually works, but I have SO many questions about the universe in which the movie is set. I mean, Santa is real, but he only comes to Believers. Are we sure this thing wasn’t sponsored by The 700 Club?
15. Commando Ninja – I didn’t know anything about this movie until someone in a Facebook group mentioned it. After about 5 minutes of research, I felt like it looked like Kung Fury, so I was immediately on board. I think I’ve said it before, but I didn’t grow up watching 80s action movies. And I still haven’t seen most of them. So, I’m sure this thing hit all the right notes for some folks, while some of it just goes over my head. Still, it was hilarious, it was free on YouTube, and it was short. What more could you ask for?

2018 In Television

  • Roseanne announced that her character would be a Trump supporter when her show returned. She subsequently said some dumb shit and the show got cancelled. Then her TV family made deals to return to the show without her. Awww, family!
  • Murphy Brown also returned, to the delight of…well, nobody, really. She fired off her Trump jokes, and will probably be put back in moth balls by CBS.
  • ABC pulled an episode of Black-ish that would deal with the NFL kneeling issue. While it was reported as a “mutual decision” between the network and series creator Kenya Barris, Barris would go on to leave ABC for a 7-figure deal with Netflix.
  • The Fox adaptation of Lethal Weapon was a hotbed of problems. First there were reports of misconduct by show star Clayne Crawford, which put the show’s renewal chances in jeopardy. Then, Crawford was fired and replaced by Seann William Scott (the extra “n” is for flavor!). Then the show’s other star, Damon Wayans, announced he was leaving after fulfilling the season’s original 13-episode order.
  • The Simpsons surpassed Gunsmoke to become the longest-running, scripted primetime series on television, with 636 episodes.
  • After 27 scandalous seasons, The Jerry Springer Show went out not with a bang but with a whimper.
  • The Sharknado franchise came to an end with The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time. Yes, it was time.
  • The Power Rangers 25th anniversary special aired, with obligatory Jason David Frank cameo. Hell, the whole thing was a JDF wankfest.
  • Brian Robbins was announced as the new head of Nickelodeon, which is significant since he and his former Head of the Class costar, Dan Schneider, got their behind the scenes careers started by creating All That for the network back in 1994. It’ll be interesting to see if he throws any work to Schneider, whose Schneider’s Bakery production house was sent packing by Nickelodeon earlier in the year after allegations surrounding Schneider arose.
  • DC Comics debuted the DC Universe streaming service, which is still struggling to find subscribers
  • Kanye West went on TMZ to declare “Slavery was a choice!”
  • And, of course, I wrote my annual Network Upfronts post, with my thoughts on the upcoming TV season.

2018 In Music

Yeah, I already covered that. No, you didn’t read it because you’re scared of the unknown!

West Week Ever Recipients of 2018:

1/12/18 – Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House
1/19/18 – Black Lightning
1/26/18 – Vince McMahon
2/2/18 – WWE Royal Rumble
2/9/18 – Quincy Jones
2/16/18 – Black Panther
2/23/18 – Black Panther
3/2/18 – Atlanta
3/9/18 – DC Black Label
3/16/18 – Avengers: Infinity War trailer
3/23/18 – Nothing
3/30/18 – Roseanne
4/13/18 – Wrestlemania 34
4/27/18 – James Shaw Jr.
5/4/18 – Avengers: Infinity War
5/11/18 – Donald Glover
5/18/18 – CBS
5/25/18 – The Middle series finale
6/1/18 – Solo: A Star Wars Story
6/15/18 – Charley
6/22/18 – Nothing
6/29/18 – West Life Ever: Toys “R” Us
7/13/18 – Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
7/20/18 – DC Entertainment
7/27/18 – Teen Titans Go to the Movies
8/3/18 – Lebron James
8/10/18 – Patrick Stewart
8/17/18 – Omarosa Manigault Newman
8/24/18 – Crazy Rich Asians
9/7/18 – Nike
9/14/18 – John Legend
9/21/18 – Marvel Studios
9/28/18 – Lady Gaga, “Shallow”
10/5/18 – Venom
10/12/18 – Kanye’s MAGA Hat
10/26/18 – Roman Reigns
11/9/18 – Jeopardy! Champion (and friend of the site!) Mary Ann Borer
11/16/18 – West Life Ever: Stan Lee
11/30/18 – Wolverine: The Long Night
12/7/18 – Avengers: Endgame trailer
12/14/18 – Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
12/21/18 – Nothing

This is normally where I’d give you some insight on my thought process, but I feel like a lot of this needs no explanation. It’s either obvious why it was chosen, or it’s indicative of just what kind of a shitshow pop culture was for that particular week. I’m particularly proud of my West Life Ever posts, for both Toys “R” Us and Stan Lee. Unbeknownst to most, the West Life Ever distinction was created with Adam West and Stan Lee in mind. As they got older, we all knew it was only a matter of time, and they both meant a lot to me. While the designation has been given to a few other things, (like TRU), it was custom made for those two, and I don’t know when, or if, it’ll ever be used again. I can’t think of anyone else in pop culture that meant as much to me, but I guess time will tell.

The year basically started with Black Panther and ended with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. In between the two, we all lived about five lifetimes and have the scars to prove it. I spent a lot of time thinking about what this is all about, and why it is that I do it every week. In the end, I guess I want to make some kind of an impact – leave something behind. While pop culture is fleeting, I pour a lot more into “disposable” posts than makes actual sense. I know I’ve said that I stop caring about these things once the clock strikes 12:00 on Saturday morning, but up until that time, I’m as wired as a kid waiting for his dad to come back from “going out to get cigarettes”. “Are they reading it?”, I anxiously wonder as I constantly retweet the links and look for engagement. Like the aforementioned kid, whose dad is never coming back, the audience never really comes. It leads to a lot of existential questions, like “Well, who am I?” and “Why would anyone care what I think?” Maybe the posts were too long. Everyone’s in a hurry, and don’t like reading long things. I don’t want to contribute to “Hot Take Culture”, and I try to write reasoned arguments for my opinions. Yeah, yeah blogs are dying. I get it. Maybe I need a podcast, ya know, ’cause everybody has a podcast. Maybe this should be video, but that hardly seems worth the effort. Still, in all this introspection, one thing stood out – one thing that proved my “impact”, and would withstand the test of time.

If you’re a longtime reader, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, ’cause I did it for my first kid, and I don’t need to look like I’m playing favorites. Still, the best thing about 2018 was Charlotte Bruce West. I know it’s the hip thing now to hate kids and love the Hell out of dogs instead, so if that’s you, then you should probably stop reading.

This was not a fun year for anyone, and some days were harder than others. The thing about Charley, which was so surprising to me, is that she’s such a happy baby. Sure, those first few months she didn’t realize she was smiling, and it was just something her mouth was doing. Over time, though, they became genuine smiles. Smiles that could make a bad day better. She’s just such a happy baby. Where does she get that from? Was I ever that happy? If so, what happened? I only hope it’s something she can hold onto throughout life. I hear a positive attitude can take ya places, and I sure as Hell wouldn’t know. I’m not one of those parents who’s all “She’s going to be President someday.” She could be a blogger with readership in the double digits, and that’d be just fine. At least she came by it honestly.

I read this Conan O’Brien interview in The New York Times the other day, and it really resonated with me. If you’ve run out of free NYT articles for the month, or just don’t feel like clicking, it’s him discussing the decision to change his TBS show from a full hour to a half hour format. After 25 years in late night, he looked back on what he had done, and thought about how he would like to go forward. He said that, while it might seem selfish, he wanted an experience that allowed him to have the most fun because, in the end, none of it matters. “This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.”

On the worst days, I can come home and play “Grocery Store” with my oldest, while keeping the youngest from swallowing a Hatchimal. I’ve made, and continue to make, my impact on them, and that’s what matters. As for this, let’s make it fun again. No more “writing for the audience”. I want to be as blissfully happy as a 7-month old baby, and that’s accomplished by focusing on things a lot of people don’t care about, like 90s boybands and forgotten teen sitcoms. Let’s bring back Thrift Justice! Let’s dive into that backlog of comics that’s only been growing. No more expectations, as I’m leaving that mentality in 2018. It won’t be an overnight process, but it’s the destination I’m working towards. I’ve already made a mark somewhere, so let’s see where that takes us. As a great, rich man once yelled, “You wanna get nuts?! Let’s get nuts!” Let’s consider 2019 the year of How Will Got His Groove Back. In the meantime, let’s leave 2018 behind like the garbage year that it was.

So, for being the best thing to happen to me in 2018, and for inspiring this introspection, Charley West had the West Year Ever.

04th Jan2019

The WBW40 – Will’s Top 40 Songs of 2018

by Will

Well, here we are again, with another year behind us. While this is the second year of me compiling this list, I’m actually starting to enjoy it more than West Year Ever. I know that most of you don’t listen to “my” music, so it’s basically me introducing new stuff to you rather than boosting things you’ve already heard. I have, however, changed the way it works this year. You see, last year I had this rule that the song had to be released in 2017. This was problematic because it left out a lot of songs that came out near the tail end of 2016 that didn’t really get exposure until 2017. So, this year I’m throwing that out the window; if it was released as a single, released to radio, or just plain became “popular” in 2018, it counts.

Remember, this is just me, talking about music I loved during the year. It doesn’t necessarily take into account chart position or anything like that. Some of these songs will be hugely popular, while some you’ll be experiencing for the first time. And, yes, while a lot of these are part of the “country” genre, I put that in quotes because format really means nothing anymore. You could put the vast majority of them on Z100, Hot 99.5, or KIIS-FM (basically any iHeartMedia station with a Jingle Ball) and they’d be right at home. Don’t believe me? Then let’s take a closer look!

40. Dean Summerwind (Dustin Christensen) – Parked By The Lake

Let’s start out with a joke track, huh? After 2018, I feel like we need a laugh. I was introduced to this song by The Bobby Bones Show, as Bobby had stumbled upon it online and felt the world needed to hear it. The beauty of it is its earnestness. I mean, Summerwind sings it like he’s NOT just singing the same 6 words over and over again. The song is actually by season 9 contestant of The Voice, Dustin Christensen, who released it online as “Dean Summerwind”. I’m not sure if the exposure really did much for the song, but it has a little over 400,000 streams on YouTube, so maybe it’s helping to get him some attention.

39. Travis Denning – David Ashley Parker from Powder Springs

I swear, I didn’t put 2 joke tracks back to back! This is actually a REAL song. Still, I love a song that tells a story, and this one does it in spades. In case you didn’t click “Play”, let me break it down for ya: Denning is singing about the guy whose fake ID he’d bought in order to buy beer. Since he knew he’d be quizzed about his demographic info, the chorus is basically him running down all the stats he’d memorized from the ID. Well, I thought this was a kinda clever idea for a song.

38. Brantley Gilbert – The Ones That Like Me

First, some backstory. I wasn’t so sure about Brantley Gilbert. I mean, you see him in the video, and we all know what we tend to think about country artists. He wasn’t necessarily a guy I think I’d want to befriend. Then, something earlier this year changed my mind about him. Remember that Waffle House shooting, where James Shaw Jr (a Black man) overpowered the gunman? Well, when the dust settled, Gilbert started a fundraiser for Shaw and the victims of the shooting. Immediately, I was like, “You OK, Gilbert.”

So, this song. It really speaks to me – so much so that, were I a tattoo person, I’d probably get the chorus put on my back or something. I’ve been blogging for 15 years, and pretty active on social media for, like, 11. I think this song definitely describes me both IRL and online. I’ve come to find I’m somewhat polarizing. You either love me or you don’t give a shit. At least that’s what my Google Analytics stats would tell ya!


37. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill – The Rest of Our Life

So, you’ll know this song is “country” just by looking at the artists, right? Well, did you know it was co-written by Ed Sheeran? Huh? Well, did ya? Anyway, this entry exemplifies a problem I have with the format of these posts. Ideally I’d throw together a Spotify playlist, but not everyone uses Spotify, so I use YouTube. That, however, is problematic because sometimes the video distracts from the song. That’s what’s happening here. What the Hell is up with McGraw’s hat? It’s not even a normal cowboy hat, and he’s wearing that with a tuxedo?! And I love how it’s trying to convey “We fight like everyone else”, yet they have to get their limo driver to stop and let them out, and you just know Faith didn’t have any money to pay that diner. Anyway, it’s a nice song about spending your lives together, so close your eyes and listen to really get that message.

36. LANCO – Born to Love You

LANCO made last year’s list with “Greatest Love Story”, and they’re back this year with this song. Did you realize that the Backstreet Boys never really stopped recording or performing? No, they’ve spent the past 10 years or so cranking out forgettable songs that sound just like this. That is when OneRepublic doesn’t put out something like this first. What I’m saying is that it’s not an amazing song, but it’s pretty catchy and would be right at home outside of country radio, where it hasn’t really performed too well.

35. Florida Georgia Line – Simple

I actually really like Florida Georgia Line, and have ever since Nelly helped them put “Cruise” on the map all those years ago. The problem, though, is that for every 3 songs they put out with the impact of “Cruise”, we get a “Simple”. It just didn’t leave an impact on me like a lot of their other stuff. That’s why this isn’t higher. Still, who doesn’t love a song that teaches you how to count AND spell?! Anyway, this probably won’t be the last time we hear from them on this list…

34. Thomas Rhett – Life Changes

Again, a catchy song that tells a story. A few years ago, nobody really knew who Rhett was. As his star was rising, he and his wife adopted a baby from Uganda, only to find out that his wife was pregnant. So, now he’s juggling his new family with his career. He put out a few songs this year, but this one wasn’t my favorite, which is why it’s down here. We’ll come back to him later.

33. Jason Aldean – You Make It Easy

I like its bluesy sound. It’s that easy. Still, it’s not my favorite Aldean release of the year, which we’ll get to in a bit.


32. Dylan Scott – Hooked

Scott is just BEGGING to cross over to other formats. I mean, his last single’s chorus talked about how he loved when his wife rapped Eminem songs. It was a decidedly country song, but I don’t feel that way about this offering, which is pretty catchy. If he keeps putting out stuff like this he just might get his crossover wish.

31. Dustin Lynch – Good Girl

The chorus here is just great to me. This might be too country for some, but I don’t care, I don’t care. “I could take you home to mama, take you to the church right down the street!” It was a song that definitely grew on me, but it’s more infectious than you might think right now. Anyway, this is a case where I actually like what the video does for the song, as it’s the antithesis of what the song is talking about. She is NOT a good girl!

30. Chris Jansen – Drunk Girl

OK, if you’ve made it this far, thank you. And also, I’m sorry. Why? Because you’re going to HATE me for this one. It’s basically the country version of “The Christmas Shoes” in how cloying it is, but I do think it’s a clever spin on what you think it’s going to be about. Still, it’s a good message for those willing to heed it, and it’s kinda weird the video comes with a trigger warning, but I get it. In the words of every man after a scandal, “as a father of daughters”, I get it.

29. David Lee Murphy & Kenny Chesney – Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

There’s not a lot here, but it got a lot of airplay and eventually worked its way into my heart. It’s just got that laid back beat, and it’s the kind of thing you’d expect from Chesney. It’s “White folks smoking weed on the beach” music. White people can actually get away with that shit! It’s basically a modern, Caucasian “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

28. Luke Combs – Beautiful Crazy

You’re going to be seeing Combs a lot on this list. I feel like country, more than other genres, operates like pro wrestling. Certain artists get a “push” to the top more than others. For whatever reason, the labels decided that Combs was going to get that push. I’m not taking anything away from him. I enjoy pretty much everything he puts out. I just find it odd how some get the push while others don’t. He doesn’t look like every other country star today, so maybe that’s why. His look is “relatable”. Anyway, this is just a nice little ballad, but we’ll see more of him down the line.


27. Luke Bryan – Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset

When my wife first hear this song, she said “That’s a guaranteed way to get skin cancer.” While she’s not wrong, it’s a catchy song. A lot of the country was introduced to Bryan as he joined the judges panel on the American Idol reboot. I didn’t watch any of that, so I don’t know if they ever used any of his music. I will say this is probably his strongest song on this list, from a “musical” perspective, but he will appear later for reasons.

26. Lindsay Ell – Champagne

Remember I was talking about Bobby Bones? Well, he also introduced me to Ell. You see, they were dating and he gave her music a lot of exposure on his show. That backfired, though, because a lot of other country radio shows hate him, so they wouldn’t play her music. He felt bad that he was affecting her career, and they broke up. And she started getting more airplay elsewhere. I don’t understand what her affinity is for the country genre, though, because this song is NOT country, and she would do so much better as a Top 40 artist.

25. Jordan Davis – Singles You Up

I like the phrase “singles you up” better than “breaks up with you”. Like, you’re talking to your friend about his relationship, and you just drop, “Oh, she’s about to single you up!” I really hope that becomes a thing, but everyone knows that slang is stolen from the gays and the Blacks, so unless one of them created it, it ain’t gonna stick. Anyway, it was a big song this year, and it’s just so fun to sing along to.


24. Kenny Chesney – Get Along

I hated this song when it came out, and I remember even linking to it with “Fuck Kenny Chesney” back when it came out. You see, I hated the timing of the song, as it was when everyone was calling for civility while doing nothing to actually promote it. It was that “There’s bad people on both sides” argument, when one side had Neo Nazis who were running over protestors, while the other side had knitted pussy hats. NOT the same.

Anyway, after cooling down, and if you can actually stand the cloying sentimentality of it, it’s a catchy song. Plus, I love how stream of consciousness it gets at the end of the chorus: “Learn to dance, call your mom, buy a boat.” Um, some of these are easy, and some are gonna require a loan agent. Anyway, I think the video is tone deaf, because while Chesney probably thinks it’s something of a love letter to his fans, it doesn’t promote the diversity the song speaks of. Ain’t no Black people at a Kenny Chesney concert. Shit, I once had a country mega ticket, but I wasn’t going to a Kenny Chesney concert. If you get bored, just look up how many fights and 911 calls those things typically generate.

23. Carrie Underwood – Cry Pretty

Ah, the debut of Underwood’s new face. You see, a little over a year ago, she had a bad fall at her house and her face required a bunch of stitches. She was holed up like Jack Napier for a bit because she didn’t want folks to see her. Anyway, this was something of her “comeback” from that ordeal and, surprise, she looks exactly the same. Anyway, it’s a pretty good power ballad, but it wasn’t strong enough to really get her into my top 20.

22. Brett Young – Mercy

Last year, Young made #33 on this list, with “In Case You Didn’t Know”. Just like that song, this is a beautiful ballad, with nothing inherently country about it. I’m starting to think that country is the new contemporary Christian genre, in that it attracts new artists because of the ease of entry. Then, once established, they gravitate to their natural genre (see: Creed, Katy Perry).

21. Dan + Shay – Speechless

Dan + Shay are prime examples of what I was saying in the last entry. Listening to the Bobbycast (Man, I pimp Bones so hard he ought to be paying me!), these guys did NOT set out to be country artists. Hell, Shay was a solo artist on T-Pain’s Nappy Boy Entertainment before the duo was formed. No, these guys are less Brooks & Dunn, and more Savage Garden. Anyway, pretty song, but not my fave D+S track of the year, which we’re getting to. You know how some movies are clearly made for “Oscar season”? Well, this was clearly made to cash in on Wedding Season.


20. Jake Owen – I Was Jack (You Were Diane)

Funny story – I always hated “Jack & Diane”. Even with its iconic intro, I couldn’t deal when the lyrics started. I didn’t even like when Jessica Simpson sampled it. Then some things started happening in pop culture, which softened my stance on the song. First, there was Black-ish, where the twins are named Jack & Diane, which I thought was kinda cute. Then, Jake Owen came along with this song. I like Owen, and I felt he did something different with the source material. It’s basically a Jack & Diane remix, and who doesn’t love a good remix? Anyway, I think I may like “Jack & Diane” now.

19. Midland – Burn Out

Midland made #5 on last year’s list, with “Drinkin’ Problem”. This song is more of the same, and it’s not higher because I just can’t vouch for their “authenticity”. Like I said last year, it’s almost like they’re cosplaying country. They don’t come from the industry, and it feels like their act was put together studying game tapes. Still, they’re so fucking good at the vintage country formula that you can’t help but be impressed by what they’re cranking out. I also love how all their videos take place in this early 80s yesteryear.


18. Thomas Rhett – Marry Me

Hey, Rhett’s back! This time, he’s singing about “The One That Got Away” – only now he’s got to go to her wedding. I don’t feel like this got as much airplay as “Life Changes”, but I felt it was the better song.


17. Maren Morris – Rich

Last year, Morris was #15 on this list with “I Could Use a Love Song”. Again, another artist who could be doing so much more if she crossed over, as we’re going to see in a bit. Anyway, it’s so coquettish how could you NOT love this song?


16. Jason Aldean, featuring Miranda Lambert – Drowns The Whiskey

I love the play on words here, about how whiskey’s supposed to drown the memories, but instead it’s the other way around. I feel like the song kinda misses its mark, though. With the addition of Lambert, you’d think it was supposed to be like the old country duets, but this is no Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitter collaboration. Lambert really doesn’t bring enough to the song to warrant her being here. Any up and coming country startlet could’ve done this harmony. Did Kelsi Ballerini not answer Aldean’s calls or something?


15. Luke Combs – She Got The Best of Me

Our old buddy Luke Combs is back, breaking the top 20 with this hit. I don’t know if the voiceover in the video is true, but if he really didn’t pick up a guitar until he was 21, he’s done AMAZING things in the past 7 years. Kind of inspirational, really. Again, though, the video is distracting because you’re led to believe the “she” is the chick from the breaking news segment at the beginning of the video, and he she got the best of him because he can’t get over her death. But then it turns into a standard on the road/tour video, and just kinda kicks that narrative to the curve. Anyway, good song.


14. Dierks Bentley featuring Brothers Osborne – Burning Man

Bentley’s first appearance in the Top 20 won’t be his last. We’ll get to that later. No, I really like this song, and can’t really categorize it. It’s not “country”, but it’s not “rock”. It’s got that bar band vibe to it, where it wouldn’t have been out of place for it to be a Hootie and the Blowfish song.


13. Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey – The Middle

If you’ve set foot in a Target this year, then you’ve no doubt heard this song. It’s just as infectious as Zedd’s entry from last year, “Stay”, featuring Alessia Cara, and it shows just what Morris is capable of doing outside the country genre. More of this, please!


12. Brett Eldredge – The Long Way

A ballad about a guy wanting to know more about his new girl by her showing him around her hometown, taking the “long way” around. I think it’s a beautiful song and sentiment. He wants to know her in and out and thinks this is best way to know where she comes from. I like Eldredge and he’s had a bunch of songs that would’ve made the list had I been doing this longer than 2 years. Anyway, I expect to see more of him here in the future.


11. Morgan Wallen featuring Florida Georgia Line – Up Down

I told ya Florida Georgia Line would be back! I love this song but I just couldn’t let it crack the Top 10. If you remember, Morgan got to #7 with “The Way I Talk”, but this song didn’t speak to me as much as that one. Still, it’s a great FLAGA Line collab, and just a fun song. It’s a song about drinkin’ and the weekend. What’s more country than that? Plus, bonus points for shoving “BFE” into a song that gets national airplay.


10. Tim McGraw – Neon Church

Who knew McGraw and his wacky hat would make it back to the countdown? Well, if you’re a regular West Week Ever reader, then it shouldn’t be too much of a suprise, as I basically spotlighted it one week. Yeah, it’s Tim McGraw, but this is basically his rendition of “Purple Rain”. Now, some of you might call that sacrilege, but I’m talking more about what’s going on in the song’s background than I am about him attempting to evoke Prince. I looped this song for an entire work day once, so if that’s not enough for it to crack the Top 10, I don’t know what is.


9. Luke Bryan – Most People Are Good

OK, I feel like I should apologize for this song first. Isn’t that sad? I mean, I really like the song, even if it’s not Bryan’s strongest vocals of the year (those would’ve been in “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset”). No, I’m apologizing because I know how treacly the message of the song is going to come across. Hell, it’s almost the same as Chesney’s with “Get Along”. The difference here, though, is that there’s a subtle message that gets lost: in the chorus “I believe you love who you love, ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of.” That’s the closest country music has ever gotten to not only acknowledging, but also embracing, its LGBTQ fan base. Plus, it really does have a positive message. For the record, this is the video Chesney should’ve shot for “Get Along”.


8. Jake Owen – Down To The Honkeytonk

I love the Hell out of this song, and let me tell you why. A few years ago, I had a shortlived feature (“shortlived”? I think I wrote TWO posts) called “Reboot That Bitch” where I’d take an old concept and reboot it. Ya know, kinda like what Hollywood is doing now. Anyway, I chose the Lee Majors 80s drama The Fall Guy, and I feel like this song would be PERFECT as the theme song for a reboot of that show. As the original theme sung about the lack of glory behind being a stuntman, this song is about a regular guy who might not be spectacular, but in his neck of the woods – the honkytonk – he’s The Man. Press play, close yur eyes, and picture a Rounded-Line 1981 GMC K-2500 Wideside jumping over shit.


7. Luke Combs – One Number Away

If I were doing a West Year Ever of just music, it’d go to Luke Combs. Making his THIRD appearance on the chart, and OH SHIT! THIS VIDEO IS THE PREQUEL TO “SHE GOT THE BEST OF ME”!!! Yeah, I’m just watching this video for the first time. Huh. So, he took this and made it a Don’t Talk and Drive PSA. Interesting choice. Anyway, I feel like, as with all of Combs’s songs, he really puts his soul into this one. It was kinda hard ranking his 3 biggest singles of the year, but I definitely feel this was his best.

6. Blake Shelton – Turnin’ Me On

This song isn’t as fun as Shelton’s entry last year, “I’ll Name The Dogs”. Still, there was something haunting about this song, and I didn’t realize what it was until a local DJ spelled it out for me: It’s basically a Stevie Nicks song. You can get lost in its retro sound, and I recommend that you do, because otherwise you’ll realize he’s singing about Gwen Stefani, and it’ll take you completely out of it (I’m pretty sure her kisses taste like Bubble Yum and NOT whiskey). Anyway, this song achieves that same yesteryear vibe that Midland specialize in.


5. Dierks Bentley – Woman, Amen

A bombastic ode to women, from a country star no less! I really like this track, and it became something as an inside joke in our family. My wife and I would listen to it, and I’d say something like, “Man, she sounds terrific. I wonder where I could get a wife like that.” Yeah, I’m an asshole, but we all had a good laugh.


4. Dan + Shay – Tequila

They’re back! While they closed out the year with “Speechless”, they dominated most of the year with “Tequila”. It’s just so smooth – something tequila is not. Still, it is highly relatable in how the taste of something can bring back so many memories. I really hope more people discover this duo.


3. Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – Shallow

Another song that got a mention in West Week Ever. In fact, it HAD the West Week Ever. From the soundtrack for A Star Is Born, this song is just so much better than it has any right to be. Cooper handles his part deftly, but Stefani (I’m not even gonna call her Gaga here because she’s shed that disguise effortlessly) really swings for the fences in the second half of the song. Another song I looped for an entire work day, as I kept discovering new things about it.


2. Jimmie Allen – Best Shot

I’m sure some of y’all skimmed this list, and said “What, Will? No Black people at all?” Well, here ya go. It’s not that I’m holding out on you, but there just aren’t many Black artists on the stations I listen to. For the longest time, there was just Darius Rucker and Cowboy Troy. Well, that changed this year, as Jimmie Allen made his way onto the scene. It’s good to see a brother make his way in an industry not necessarily cut out for him, and he also just seems like a genuinely good guy. I’ve listened to a ton of his interviews this year, and followed his rise. “Best Shot” is such a great song.  He probably doesn’t do enough vocal runs to get on R&B radio, but he’s a force that really deserves to be out there, and I’m glad he’s found his way in a genre that might surprise some.


1. Bebe Rexha featuring Florida Georgia Line – Meant To Be

Funny story – this song just missed making it onto the bottom of the 2017 list, but I didn’t think it was going to make much of an impact. The thing I like about FLAGA Line is that they don’t always have to be the center of attention. Sure, they’ve got their own hits, but they spent a good chunk of the past year and a half just doing guest spots for other artists, like Morgan Wallen and Rexha here. Meanwhile, I felt like Rexha was just another flash in the pan Pop THOT who’d be here today, and gone tomorrow. Surel she’s hot, but was that going to matter on the charts? Well, it made Rexha the first female artist to debut at the top of the Hot Country Songs chart, and proceeded to spend FIFTY WEEKS at the top spot. It spent the majority of the year as the #1 country song. It’s gone 4 times platinum in a music industry where songs and albums just don’t perform like that anymore. It was without a doubt the biggest country song of the year and, with its crossover appeal, was one of the biggest songs, period, of 2018.

So, there you have it. They might not have all been the best songs of 2018,  but they were certainly my favorite songs of the year. I’m sure that you stumbled upon something up there that you liked, so drop me a comment down in my shiny new Disqus commenting system!

14th Dec2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/14/18

by Will

I don’t know what WordPress is doing with this update, so Lord only knows how this is gonna look when I’m done writing it. Let’s hope it’s legible!

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Michael Weatherly – Ya know, before he was starring on Bull, or even NCIS, I remember Michael Weatherly as “The guy from Dark Angel“. In fact, he was even briefly engaged to star Jessica Alba. Never really knew why that fell apart. Maybe because he was hitting on other women?

According to Eliza Dushku, she was poised to become a series regular on Bull, but she said she dealt with repeated lewd comments from Weatherly on the set of the show. When she confronted him, she soon learned her character was being written out of the show. CBS ended up settling with Dushku, to the tune of $9.5 million – the amount she would’ve made for four and a half seasons as a series regular.

Weatherly issued a halfassed apology, and capped it off, saying “It’s my recollection that I didn’t tell anyone how they should do their job regarding the hiring or firing of anybody.” Oh, did I mention that all of this happened on a CBS show? Ya know, the network where errbody seems to be getting fired for harassment allegations?

Les Moonves Update – In a recent interview, actress Cybill Shepherd alleged that her sitcom, Cybill, was cancelled by Moonves after she rebuffed his advances after a dinner. While the show was never a ratings dynamo, it was cancelled pretty abruptly, so there could be something to this. Plus, it was a CBS show, and this is Moonves we’re talking about, so it’s probably true.

Trailer Park


Godzilla: King of the Monsters

What the Hell is this? What am I looking at? This is the second trailer, and I still don’t get what’s going on. I feel like this is the kind of movie where you’re really just going to see shit get fucked up, but they insist on shoving in plot and emotional beats. Just show me genetic abominations destroying landmarks! Roland Emmerich should’ve gotten this job!

Kim Possible

Ugh, you deserved SO much better than this, Kim Possible. First of all, this movie is about 15 years too late. And it’s on TV. And it looks just terrible.

Star Trek: Discovery Season 2

Ya know, none of these trailers are ever good enough to make me say “Let me subscribe to CBS All Access”, but I will say that I’m constantly fascinated by their uniforms. This goes back to the early days of TNG, when I was really taken by those original jumpsuits designed by William Ware Theiss. Whomever is designing the costumes for Discovery deserves an Emmy. Still not paying to watch this show, though. 

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • In a move that nobody asked for, Will Ferrell is reprising his Anchorman character for The Ron Burgundy Podcast, which will launch early next year exclusively on the iHeartMusic app.
  • It’s a sad day for day drinkers across America, as Kathie Lee Gifford announced she’ll be leaving The Today Show in April, after 11 years co-anchoring the 4th hour with Hoda Kotb. 
  • Katy Perry debuted her new song “Immortal Flame” from her partnership with the mobile game Final Fantasy Brave Exvius. She’s no Faye Wong, but I’ll take it.
  • In an age when television shows just don’t know when to die, it should come as no surprise that the Modern Family cast is about to sign on for an 11th season.
  • Some networks have no problem killing a show, however, as Comedy Central has cancelled Detroiters after 2 seasons.
  • Doctor Strange director Scott Derrickson has finally inked a deal to return for a sequel, which is pretty much a surprise to no one.
  • Country radio personality Bobby Bones apparently broke Dancing with the Stars. Following his controversial win in the recent 27th season, the show has decided to sit out a Spring cycle and won’t return until Fall 2019. It’s unclear if it’s being retooled or if there are other reasons behind the change.
  • There are reports that Ellen Degeneres wants to walk away from her daytime talk show to pursue other interests. While her contract has goes through 2020, her wife, Portia de Rossi, is urging her to do other things, while her brother insists that her show is the sort of positivity that people need right now.
  • The Star Wars series The Mandalorian has announced that Carl Weathers, Werner Herzog, Nick Nolte, and Giancarlo Esposito have joined the cast. For some reason folks are excited by this news, but throw in the fact that Gina Carano was already announced, and it just sounds like a 1999 direct to DVD movie…
  • The ending of this season’s Arrowverse crossover teased the title of next season’s crossover: “Crisis on Infinite Earths”. Kinda interesting, considering none of the shows have officially been renewed yet. Anyway, if you know anything about the 80s comic series on which it’ll be based, it’s time to start worrying about Barry and Kara.
  • Speaking of DC TV series, there was a lot of casting news for the shows on the DC Universe streaming platform. First up, Joel McHale has been cast as a reinvented Starman on the upcoming Stargirl, while Lou Ferrigno Jr has been cast as Hourman. Meanwhile, Ian Ziering has been cast as fallen Hollywood actor Daniel Cassidy (who goes on to become the Blue Devil) in the Swamp Thing series.

I had no desire to see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, despite being a HUGE fan of Miles Morales. I wasn’t crazy about the animation style, I didn’t like that they weren’t incorporating Miles into the MCU, and I also felt like they were robbing him of his spotlight by making it a Spider-Verse film with all these other versions of Spider-Man thrown into the mix. Still, my friend, Mike, and I have a tradition where we see all these things on opening night, so last night was no exception. I’ve never been more happy to be wrong, though, as it’s an amazing (pun intended) film.

For those not “in the know”, Miles Morales was introduced in Marvel’s Ultimate Universe, taking up the Spider-Man mantel when that universe’s Peter Parker died fighting the Green Goblin. An Afro-Latino teen (created by Brian Michael Bendis and Sara Pichelli), Miles pretty much had to learn the ropes on his own, though he did have some help from S.H.I.E.L.D. from time to time, as Nick Fury blamed himself for Parker’s death. Instead of a dead Uncle Ben, Miles’s origin didn’t really come from a place of tragedy – that is until his mother ended up getting killed during on of his fights. During Marvel’s Secret Wars event, the Ultimate Universe ended, and Miles was shunted over to the “regular” Marvel Universe. Oh, and as a bonus for something he did during that event, his mom was still alive on the new Earth. There, he took on the role of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, while a successful Peter Parker was globetrotting, doing his best Tony Stark impression. That’s pretty much where I left him the last time I read a Spider-Man comic.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse does a really good job of introducing Miles to the general public, as well as explaining the whole multiverse concept. Though I didn’t read the Spider-Verse crossover in the comics (I’m about 5 years behind on my Amazing Spider-Man run), I did recognize shades of other stories, such as Spider-Men, when Marvel Universe Peter Parker found himself in the Ultimate Universe, and met Miles for the first time. There’s also a more recent crossover where Miles and Spider-Gwen team up, as well. Though I really only had a passing familiarity with Peni Parker, Spider-Man Noir, and Spider-Ham, I felt their addition to the story worked.

I will say that the film made me realize more issues that I had with Spider-Man: Homecoming. I’m sorry guys, but I really didn’t like that movie. As I said on Twitter though, we’re not allowed to say that because it brought Spider-Man into the MCU. It’s like when your drug dealer uncle pays your tuition, and you’re not allowed to call him out about where the money came from. I’d much rather have an adult Spider-Man in the MCU. Hell, I’d love a Jake Johnson Spider-Man in the MCU. He did a great job as the voice of Parker in this film, and I’ve come to realize that he could probably have pulled it off live action. There are certain things that don’t line up as it stands. For example, while I realize the Netflix shows are merely “adjacent” to the MCU, those characters still exist. In the comics, Jessica Jones was a classmate of Peter Parker, and even nursed something of a crush on him, but he was too busy being nerdy to notice her. I’d much rather have their ages line up in the MCU and we get a teenage Miles than to go through High School Peter all over again.

Like with all adaptations, they made some changes, but nothing that really affected things in a bad way. In fact, they may have made things better (Miles’s dad being a cop, for instance). I like how they played with all of the toys, like Alchemax and Spider-Man 3. I don’t want to give away the plot or any story beats, so we’ll keep this spoiler free. I will say, however, that I’m curious to know how they could use that character, with the rights situation and all. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.

Anyway, I was wrong about Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. What I thought should’ve been a throwaway special on Disney XD or something actually turned out to be an engaging, masterpiece of a comic book movie. For that reason, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse had the West Week Ever.


02nd Nov2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/2/18

by Will

So, not much has really happened since last we met. Sure, Megyn Kelly Today got cancelled, and the WWE’s Crown Jewel is taking place in Saudi Arabia as I type this. So, “Ya win some, ya lose some”? I pretty much have nothing “newsy” to talk about today. So, I thought we could have a conversation instead. Have a seat. Not that one. That one’s my seat.

OK, so talking to some friends lately has made me aware of a sense of existential dread that I didn’t fully realize I had. I mean, what am I doing here? I’ve never really looked back to see when West Week Ever started, but I know it’s been almost 5 years at this point, if not longer. All those years, looking at pop culture, trying to be funny and snarky where possible. That’s all fun and good, I guess, but what does it ultimately get me? These days, I “critique”, and sometimes even “soapbox”. And not all that well. It’s just MY take on things, but not THE take on things. Nothing I do is definitive. I don’t have that clout or experience. So, I’m dealing with the question of whether I want to critique or create.

I used to be creative. “Artsy”, even. I played piano, did all the high school musicals. All that jazz. And let’s not even touch on the a cappella stint. I had expectations of doing something with that. Anything. Maybe it’s the fault of the millennial trap, where all of our parents assured us that we were special. I kinda thought I’d be a bigger deal by now. How? Doing what? Who the Hell knows.

Sure, I’ve got my family and a job and all that, but something is missing. I miss being creative. I miss having that outlet. Every year when NaNoWriMo comes out, I’m like “I could do that.” Folks have told me I’m a good writer, so even if they were blowing sunshine up my ass, why haven’t I listened to them? I have people who’ve come into my life who are award-winning writers and music producers. They found their thing and went after it. What’s my thing? I’m having what I would like to call my John Tesh Moment.

At some point over the past 20 years, John Tesh became this pop culture joke, brought up whenever anyone deigns to talk about New Age music. I don’t think folks really understand the whole picture there, though. That was, like, Phase 2 of his life. He started out in news, as both an anchor and sportscaster. That got him noticed for the job where you were probably introduced to him, as co-host of Entertainment Tonight. For 10 years he held down that desk with Mary Hart, and they were THE de facto ambassadors of Hollywood to the common man. There was no Extra, Access Hollywood, TMZ, etc back then. Just like Robin Leach let us know how the rich and famous lived their lives, Tesh and Hart could actually take us to the movie set, where the “magic” was happening. Still, while doing this, he had ambitions of his own: music.

With no real onstage experience, he asked his pal Yanni if he could join him on tour as a keyboardist. This opened a LOT of doors for him, as he’d go on to compose the theme song to Bobby’s World, as well as the NBA on NBC theme. Seven years after that tour with Yanni, Tesh was headlining his own shows at Red Rocks. That’s when he became JOHN TESH. Now, because folks like to make fun of his genre, it’s also when he might’ve become the joke, as well. Still, this was John Tesh 2.0, and boy has he been successful! He’s released over 30 studio albums and his concerts are a mainstay of PBS pledge drives. When he comes up in conversation these days, it’s never about Entertainment Tonight. Instead, it’s either about his music or this new self-help guru role in which he seems to have found himself. He and wife, 80s actress Connie Sellecca, manage a brand called Intelligence For Your Life, and he’s got a syndicated radio show. He’s 66 now, and he left ET when he was about 44. That’s a late in life career shift, but it is possible.

What am I getting at? I don’t know. I’m not trying to leave West Week Ever behind. I just feel like I could be doing more (and don’t you DARE say a podcast).  Critiquing only goes so far. I want to create. I want to leave some sort of impact. Anything to not feel like I didn’t put all the cards on the table.

The world’s a crazy place right now. I don’t need to get into all of that. Still, what can I bring to the world that it needs? What do I have that the world wants? What am I going to do with my John Tesh Moment?

Anyway, I think we’re good here. You can get out of that chair now. I’ve got to go pee, so just lock the door behind you.

05th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/5/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Brad Kern Update – the former NCIS: New Orleans showrunner was fired by CBS Studios after a THIRD misconduct investigation. He had already stepped down after the 2nd, but he remained on the payroll as a consulting producer. He reportedly had a history of belittling women, and making insensitive racial remarks.

Vincent Favale – What the Hell is going on over at CBS?! Man, they are draining the fucking swamp! Favale, the senior vice president of talent at the network has been placed on administrative leave after reports of sexual and homophobic remarks – many of which were reported by staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Favale reportedly once said that he “got four erections” while watching Jennifer Hudson rehearse for a Late Show appearance. Sounds like a real great guy…

*Takes long drag off cigarette* “Geoffrey? Now, that ain’t a name I’ve heard in about a month.” So, this week, Toys “R” Us called off the auction meant to sell off their IP and trademarks, as they reported they felt there was more value in relaunching the brand. Paperwork reveals that they registered the name “Geoffrey’s Toy Box”, but for what nobody is sure yet. Meanwhile, the Dallas Toy Fair is going on, and there have been sightings of Geoffrey walking the aisles, wearing a cape that says “Back from vacation”. All of a sudden, every news outlet lit up with “Toys ‘R’ Us is Coming Back!” Hold on there, cowboy.

Toys “R” Us rushed into bankruptcy, leaving long-time employees without severance, and owing toy manufacturers millions for unpaid product. That giraffe can’t just mosey back in like nothing happened. While the man on the street might be happy about TRU returning, there are a lot of folks who are going to feel some kind of way about that. And if it turned out that they only filed bankruptcy to divest themselves of debt, overhead, and responsibility, that’s going to cause even more problems. Had they been a public company, I’m pretty sure the SEC would be stepping in right about now, but they were private, so I don’t really know what happens next. All I do know is that they need to read the room and understand it’s too soon. The body ain’t even cold yet. I mean, I’m half expecting the next marketing image to be Geoffrey rolling back the stone from his tomb. That’s how this feels right now. They really need to give it a bit more time before rushing into this – if only so I don’t have to hear all the armchair quarterbacks talk about “They better lower their prices! That’s what drove them out of business in the first place!” Not exactly, Poindexter, but you keep on thinking that…


I was hesitant to post this ’cause y’all are never on the same page as me musically, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the stuff I think is good. Now, I know some of you see “country” and just think “NEXT!”, but I will die on the hill that modern country isn’t what you think it is. There are tons of artists who get airplay on country stations, yet if I played the song for you without telling you that, you’d never know it. Today, I can’t really do that ’cause I think everyone knows Tim McGraw is a country artist. Still, yesterday evening, he released his latest song, “Neon Church”, that I’ve been streaming for the past 24 hours.

While I love the wordplay, likening a bar to a church, I’m really here for the melody and what’s going on in the background. The first time I heard it, I was like “That’s ‘Purple Rain’!” In an interview this morning, McGraw said that while recording, he and his band were listening to a lot of Prince and Journey, and it shows here. I played it for Lindsay, and she didn’t like it – I somehow managed to marry the only White woman who hates Journey. Anyway, listen near the bridge and the at the end – that guitarist is doing his best “cruise ship ‘Purple Rain'”. It’s something of a vocal stretch for McGraw, as it’s at the top of his range, but I’m still really digging what’s going on here.

Trailer Park


Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

So, we got a new trailer for this one. Again, I am one of the BIGGEST Miles Morales fans, and this movie does nothing for me. I’m not digging the animation style, which I’m finding to be just as jarring as the MTV Spider-Man animated series based on the Raimi movies. Plus, I’m not sure Jake Johnson is how I imagined Peter Parker would sound. And Miles’ dad isn’t a cop. I get they had to take certain liberties or whatever, but I’m not feeling it. Maybe it’s not meant for me, which is sad, ’cause I pretty much glom onto any and all Miles merchandise and comic appearances.

Plus, I just don’t know if this is a theatrical project. I mean, I look at this, and think it would be a cool animated special that airs on ABC during primetime on a Wednesday in June or something, but to actually go pay to see it in a theater? I don’t think so. It feels like a nice special one-off event, like that Toy Story That Time Forgot special or something. Maybe even a special event on Disney XD. But this ain’t an “I’m headed to Fandango to order tickets” kind of thing.


Daredevil Season 3

So glad they quickly got this out there, ’cause the teaser I showed you last week left me scratching my head. Apparently this is adapting the “Born Again” storyline, but I read that thing over 10 years ago, and don’t remember it, so don’t take my word for it. It looks good – SO good, that I might just skip that other Netflix shows I haven’t seen and skip right to it.


Runaways Season 2

I’ve never watched an episode of this show, and that’s because A) I don’t have Hulu and B) it looks hokey as Hell. From the special effects to the way the kids all look like “teen outcasts” straight from central casting, it just doesn’t look good to me. I was a big fan of the comic series when it launched, but I watch these trailers, and I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you’ve read the comic, you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s like, if you think they’re on the run NOW, you just wait! There’s a twist coming, and I might jump onboard if/when I hear they’ve pulled that trigger. Until then, I’m content being in the dark on this one, Cloak & Dagger, and all the teen-centric Marvel stuff.


Harley Quinn

So, they announced that Kaley Cuoco would be voicing Harley, and I was like, “Huh?” I mean, were Tara Strong or Arleen Sorkin busy? But I guess they wanted a “name” behind this, since it’s one of DC Universe’s more high profile upcoming launches. After seeing this trailer, Cuoco does a decent job. And I really love Poison Ivy doing her best Daria. I like that DC seems able and willing to poke fun at them themselves here. I’m curious to see how this plays out since it’s marketed as an “adult animated series”. Let’s just hope the show is good, and not another Stripperella.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Fox announced the release of Untitled Deadpool Movie slated for December 21st, which will reportedly be a PG-13 cut of Deadpool 2. Keep in mind that this is also the weekend that Aquaman and Bumblebee hit theaters. I was kinda hoping it would be a new movie made up of deleted scenes and cut subplots, kinda like Wake Up, Ron Burgandy. Anyone ever seen that? It’s HORRIBLE but, as an Anchorman completist, I had to see it.
  • Speaking of Fox, they made a lot of schedule moves, as Untitled Deadpool Movie takes the release date of James Cameron’s Alita: Battle Angel, which, itself, is moving to Dark Phoenix‘s previously announced date of February 14th, 2019. Dark Phoenix, meanwhile, is moving to June 7th. Also, Channing Tatum’s X-Men spinoff, Gambit (ya know, that movie that’s never gonna happen?), has been pushed to March 13th, 2020.

  • So, those pitches are teasing a Pitch Perfect 4, and I’ve got to beg them to stop. The only thing they could even possibly do is have it based on NBC bringing back The Sing Off, and having the Bellas compete on it. Anything else would be absurd. No, the 3rd one was just not worth it, so I say we let it die as a trilogy.
  • Before the first episode has even aired, Titans has been renewed for season 2 on the DC Universe streaming service. Ya know, why not? It’s not like they’re sitting on anything else amazing to throw on that thing.

  • Speaking of bad DC live action ideas, Lobo is going to debut on Syfy’s Krypton next season. This looks like a Spirit Halloween ad! Ugh, fucking Lobo. He’s just the absolute WORST. Even though he debuted in the 80s, he’s the 90s at its 90iest, and I hate everything about him. I’ve always said that you can tell a lot about a person if they’re a Lobo fan. They’re usually Special Ed. Probably ate paste in school. They either grow up to own a landscaping business or become a Best Buy stereo installer. Fucking Lobo…
  • Realizing he’s getting too old for this shit, Damon Wayans has announced that he’s leaving Lethal Weapon at the end of season 3’s initial 13-episode commitment. Man, how mad do you think Fox is at the Lethal Weapon office right now? They already had to replace Clayne Crawford with Sean William Scott just to keep the show going, and now THIS?! Somebody’s GOT to be saying “We don’t need this shit! We could’ve renewed Lucifer!” As I said on Twitter, they should replace Wayans with Bill Bellamy, then kill off Scott, and replace him with Peter Facinelli. Then, I’ll get my backdoor Fastlane revival I’ve been wanting since 2003!
  • Kanye did some dumb shit on SNL, and water is wet.
  • Looks like Robert Kirkman is going to have to be content living off his The Walking Dead empire, as Cinemax has cancelled his series Outcast after 2 seasons.
  • Everyone wants in on the fantasy genre, as Netflix is adapting the C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia for series and movies, while Amazon is developing a series based on Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time novels.
  • Remember Mischa Barton? Ya know, the It Girl from The O.C. who went nowhere? Well, she’s going to be joining the cast of The Hills: New Beginnings on MTV.
  • Chelsea Peretti announced that she won’t be returning to Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a series regular when the show debuts on NBC this season.
  • Amy Schumer was detained yesterday in DC during the #KavaNope protests, but she blocked me on Twitter ages ago, so she’s dead to me. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME, AMY!

  • We got this poster for the upcoming Hellboy reboot, starring David “You Wouldn’t Even Know My Name Were It Not For Stranger Things” Harbour.
  • Elon Musk took one step closer to becoming The World’s First Supervillain, as he was forced to resign as Tesla chariman, and was fined $20 million by the SEC, due to a tweet where he implied he had secured funding to take Tesla private.
  • Last night marked the finale episode of the hour-long version of Conan on TBS, as he bid farewell to his house band, Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band (formerly the Max Weinberg 7). The future show will switch to a half hour format, with no musical guests, but with more special events, like shows from foreign countries.
  • Brian Robbins was announced as the new head of Nickelodeon, which is significant since he and his former Head of the Class costar, Dan Schneider, got their behind the scenes careers started by creating All That for the network back in 1994. It’ll be interesting to see if he throws any work to Schneider, whose Schneider’s Bakery production house was sent packing by Nickelodeon earlier this year after allegations surrounding Schneider arose.
  • Talk about an “unfortunate Situation”! Jersey Shore star, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, was sentenced to 8 months in prison for tax evasion.
  • Jon Favreau will write and produce Star Wars series The Mandalorian, which appears to follow another Fett, after the events of Empire, but before the rise of the First Order. The series will stream on Disney Play.

I know you’ve gotten this far, and you’re like “Wait, didn’t he have Venom in the header pic? He hasn’t even mention…wait. He WOULDN’T!”

OK, bear with me here. I know the critics gave this film a shellacking, and I can understand why. In the age of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and, to some extent, the DCEU, Venom isn’t what we’ve come to expect from a comic book movie in 2018. And I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. I swore that I wouldn’t spend money to see Venom, and I kept that promise, as Special Forces wanted to see it, and it was his turn to pay. That said, I didn’t hate it. In fact, I really enjoyed it. Now, I am known for liking shit, so don’t equate “Will liked it” with “It’s a good movie”. I don’t know if I’m “Film Twitter” enough to say it’s good or bad, but I definitely enjoyed it.

OK, so the movie starts out with investigative reporter Eddie Brock on top of the world. He’s got his own cable news show, where he roots out corruption, he’s engaged to corporate attorney Michelle Williams, and he’s about to get a chance to interview Elon Musk analog, Carlton Drake. Actually, that’s not how the movie starts. It actually starts with a space shuttle crashing upon reentry – a shuttle that happens to carry organic samples. All of the astronauts die except one, named “Jameson”, where I guess they’re alluding to J. Jonah Jameson’s astronaut son, John Jameson, who later becomes the Man-Wolf in the comics. Anyway, while transporting Jameson to the nearest hospital, it appears he’s got a symbiote in him that jumps from him to his EMT, wrecking the ambulance. Oh, and that shuttle? It was owned by Carlton Drake.

Brock’s boss wants him to interview Drake, but he doesn’t want to do it because he doesn’t trust Drake. His doubts are reinforced when he hacks into his fiancee’s computer (her firm happens to be representing Drake’s company, The LIFE Foundation), and discovers a wrongful death suit filed against the computer. When he gets his shot at interviewing Drake, instead of sticking to the script, he decides to ask about the wrongful death suit. Well, this doesn’t go well, as Drake kicks Brock out of his building, ends his career, and gets Williams fired from her firm, where she, then, gives Brock his ring back. In one fell swoop, Brock’s life is ruined.

Fast forward six months, and Brock is a drunk, “slumming it” in what has to be a $4500/month apartment (seriously, the thing is huge, and they’re in San Francisco!). He’s got no job prospects and no future, until a horribly miscast Jenny Slate shows up as Dora Skirth, a scientist at the LIFE Foundation who has doubts about the organization’s goals. See, Drake thinks humans have ruined Earth, and the only possible solution is to equip them with the means to survive – whether here or on another planet. He sees the symbiote samples as a means of doing that, and he has ordered trials to begin on humans. LIFE picks up vagrants and has them sign away their rights as they test the symbiotes to see if they’ll bond with humans. Well, this is too much for Dr. Skirth, who seeks out Brock to help her expose the company.

Dr. Skirth sneaks Brock in, who goes exploring while she tries to distract a security guard. While exploring, Brock finds his neighborhood homeless friend in one of the cells. When he breaks her out, she attacks him ’cause she’s got a symbiote in her, which she passes to Brock, unbeknownst to him. As he’s fleeing from security, he notices he can do things he shouldn’t be able to do, like shatter trees and quickly scale great heights. This is when he starts to realize something’s not right, as he starts to hear a voice in his head that wasn’t there before.

So, now he’s riding for two, as Venom’s in his head, but pops out when necessary – like when Drake’s hired security show up to take back the symbiote, and there’s a well-choreographed fight scene in the apartment, leading to a great car chase scene. The action is actually pretty impressive in the film. There’s one scene of Venom versus the SWAT team that plays out like a boss battle in a video game. They’re throwing flash grenades and shooting at shadows, while Venom bounces around the rafters.

I’ll stop spoiling stuff here, as you might actually want to see the movie one day. I’ll say there were a couple of things that bothered me. For one thing, Michelle Williams. I mean, the entire time, I’m watching the film, thinking, “You’re better than this, Michelle! You’ve been nominated for an Oscar FOUR TIMES, yet here you are, doing your worst Great Value Pepper Potts!” Also, there are continuity issues. There’s a scene where Drake is speaking to a field trip at his HQ, and a little girl tries to ask him a question. The rest of the class tries to stop her for interrupting, but Drake says something inspiring like, “No, speak. That’s what people do. They try to dissuade you from asking questions, but that’s how we learn.” He, then, gives her the pin off his lapel, but HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY LET HER ASK A QUESTION! he basically grandstanded, only to shoot her down. I mean, she was happy with the lapel pin, but nobody seems to notice she didn’t ask her question. Lost in editing maybe? Also, I didn’t really like Riz Ahmed as Drake. I thought it was another casting misfire. I would’ve gone for someone with more gravitas, like maybe Dev Patel, if they were going for a “type”. I also didn’t appreciate that it was clearly an R-rated film, edited down to PG-13, and Hardy has said that 40 minutes got cut, including his favorite scene.

Things I did like: Tom Hardy was great as Guy Who Ends Up As Venom’s Host. I can’t honestly say he was a great Eddie Brock, as I don’t have a ton of familiarity with that character. When he was ruling comics in the 90s, I still pretty much a strictly DC guy, so I haven’t read most of those iconic Venom stories. I know Brock was Peter Parker’s rival, so you’re not really supposed to be rooting for him, but you kinda have to here. That’s why I can understand why they wanted Spider-Man as far away from this film as possible. Still, I liked Hardy for what he was, and I loved his interplay with Venom in his head. I also LOVED Venom, as he was funnier than I expected him to be. The CGI wasn’t as troublesome as I was expecting, and I was even fine with no spider symbol on his chest.

As much as I enjoy the MCU movies, I’m getting a little tired of them. As a fanboy, they’re work. It’s not enough to just sit back and enjoy the movie, but Marvel really drives home the interconnectedness of it all. So, the first time you watch, you’re on guard for any Easter egg that might fly by. Like “Hey, he just mentioned Damage Control!”, etc. I get it, Marvel – you’re good at tying your shit together. But I don’t ALWAYS need that. Venom was a nice change of pace. It was still “In Association With Marvel”. I still got my Stan Lee cameo. It did everything it needed to do. And the mid credits scene has me hoping we get a sequel, ’cause there’s a lot of potential with what they teased.

Yes, this was a pretty slow week unless your name was Brett Kavanaugh, so there wasn’t a ton of competition here. So, I’m gonna shock y’all and say that Venom had the West Week Ever.

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