23rd Apr2004

My Life Is Full of Special Guest Stars

by Will

I’m totally convinced my life is a TV show. YES, I know this sounds somewhat paranoid, but the events that occur to me could only be scripted. My life takes the unexpected twists and turns that only some ratings-hungry network execs could think up. Now, don’t get me wrong, a little excitement is good every now and then, but COME ON!

In the past three months, my life has been “enhanced” by the presence of many…let’s call them “special guest stars”. These are people I haven’t been in contact with for years, and now they’re coming out of the woodwork. Now, I’m enjoying all of these reunions, but it makes me feel like something big is over the horizon. And that makes me uncomfortable, because I like to be ready and prepared for anything; recent events have shown I’m getting a bit sloppy in that department.

I’ve been saying that this whole year was for me to find myself, and I guess I had to lose some stuff to gain. I just didn’t realize there’d be all of these connections back to a past that I really don’t acknowledge. I’ve run into people from every phase of my life, mainly just by working at H&M. I’ve had the Calvary Era, by running into Quiesha Tresvant. I’ve had the Newport Era by running into Arielle & Betsy. The TRU Era ’cause I run into Napier EVERYWHERE. Today, I finally had the Cornell Era. I’m on the Metro, minding my own business, listening to my Death Cab, when something inside tells me to look up. Who do I see? Chris Foster and his girlfriend standing on the platform. I run off the train just as it’s about to pull off, so I can go talk to him and find out who the beauty is who’s accompanying him. This isn’t the first Cornell meeting by any means. Back in Feb, I ran into AJ’s friend Alexa while coming out of the Dupont Circle station (I guess Cornellians love the Metro), and last week I read an article about her in the City Paper. This region is large enough that this shouldn’t have to happen.

Yes, I have a flair for the dramatic, but I couldn’t even come up with some of the people I’ve been running into lately. It’s been good ’cause it all relates to the things I’ve been reflecting upon recently, but there’re are still 2 more people that have yet to be found. Once that occurs, then the sky is the limit. I’m not gonna name these two people, but let’s just say both their names begin with “A”. There’s something I need from both of them, and I don’t think they’d be too hard to find, but the timing’s not right yet.

30th Dec2003

Googling Myself

by Will

You ever think you’re more important than you really are? I felt that way until recently. At Cornell, I was “Will West: A Cappella Star”. In college, that’s a big deal. At least, to the percentage of people who don’t think a cappella’s “gay”. Anyway, I thought I was big shit and that was enough to keep depression @ bay. Now, I’m not in those circles anymore, so I’m scraping the barrels for recognition and attention. Well, I googled myself yesterday, and boy were the results disappointing.

First of all, out of 719 results, I only found about 5 references to “Will West” that pertained to me. The others were about World-renowned Gay Porn Star Cowboy Will West. He now occupies willwest.com and willwest.net. His motto is “How the West Was Hung”.

Of the 5 mentioning me, they were either Cornell Daily Sun articles where I sound like a complete tool, or they’re….nah, they’re all pretty much Cornell Daily Sun articles.

“William West” simply turns up a bunch of info on some murderer from the turn of the century. Apparently he was somewhat of a Jack the Ripper character. Anyway, he occupies a lot of space on the WWW.

“William Bruce West” yields 5 results but, luckily, they’re all about me. Regardless, they, too, are CDS articles and an entry from my study abroad program which incorrectly lists my e-mail address. I’ve wondered why I never heard from any of those kids, and it’s because they’re e-mailing “lbwg@cornell.edu”. I’m no CS major, but with my knowledge of Cornell’s e-mail network, I know that address doesn’t even exist. Now they’re all these nice people in middle America who prolly think I put the wrong address just to blow them off. Or not. Why am I so paranoid?!!!

So, if I were to die tomorrow, that’s the legacy I leave behind. People will either believe me to have been a notorious turn of the century murderer or a gay, leather-lovin’ cowboy who, apparently, is QUITE popular on the gay porn circuit. Sure there are the news articles, but people’ll just think that the murderer/porn star did those interviews while he was in college.

21st Sep2003

Am I In The Band Now? Introducing E7

by Will

So, it seems that I’m in a band now. Wait…don’t laugh! It’s not like Aerosmith or anything. We’re called “E7”. At the moment, I sing leads while guitar is taken care of by Mr. Tarek Sultani and bass is covered by Carl….I forgot his last name. Anyway, we’re more of a garage outfit. I think of us as a sort of Cornell “California Dreams”. The other guys are taking it a lot more seriously than I. They’re trying to get an album’s worth of songs, while I was just called in to do one track.

The track came out nicely, and I’m more proud of it than anything I’ve recorded with LC. This solo stuff is hard. I feel like Nick Lachey. I mean, I know I’m not by myself, but I’m the only one singing, so I might as well be solo. In any case, this gives me something to do. Probably not gonna be my big break, but I can at least start piling up potential demos or something. Then, when the time is right, I’m gonna drop those guys and TRULY go solo! Muhuhahahahahaha!!!

20th Sep2003

“We’re Just Ted Fans”

by Will

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Remember when I used to be in an a cappella group? ‘Cause apparently no one around here does. Tonight, I’m at the mall with Eric and Ted and some girls turn around as we’re leaving the place.

“Are you Ted?” they ask. Ted, bewildered, tells that he is one and the same. They start giggling and ask, “You’re in Last Call aren’t you?” He answers, “Yeah….but so are these guys,” pointing at me and Eric.

“Yeah, we know,” they say while ignoring Eric and me. “We’re just Ted fans.”


Ted hasn’t had a song in about 3 years!!! These chicks are freshmen and they don’t know me?!! It sucks ’cause all I have to show for my time at Cornell is a 2.9 GPA and 4 years in a group that doesn’t even appreciate me!

Does no one respect their elders anymore? I helped make that group what it is, and no one currently realizes that. It’s not even what they said, but how they said it.

I know I’m overreacting, but I have very little from my college days to be proud of. Now, just 3 weeks after I formally leave the group, and a mere week since I’ve been taken off the website, I’ve been forgotten.

Hey bitches, I’ve got a surprise for ya. Ted isn’t even in the group anymore. For some reason, those tards just forgot to take him off the site. It’s OK, though. There’s still some really cute Hangovers to lust after.