16th Aug2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 8/16/19

by Will

I’ve come to realize that my Nerd Boner Refractory Period (NBRP)™ is about 2 weeks these days. It takes me about 2 weeks to get excited about anything going on in pop culture, I can keep it up for an extra week, and then I need another 2 to recharge. So, here we are, 2 weeks after we last got together. How have you been? I like those shoes. Are they new?

Since we last spoke, I finished my binge of NBC’s Superstore. If you’ve ever worked in retail, you will COMPLETELY relate to this series set in the Cloud 9 big box store. Clocking in at 4 seasons, it’s not too much of a lift to get through, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I will point out, though, that it takes a turn in season 3. Like, the first 2 seasons are pretty run-of-the-mill single cam sitcom, but in season 3 it gets more…mature? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but the language changes, like they say “Jesus Christ” and “dick”, which were formerly reserved for things like basic cable. Most network shows still censor “Jesus Christ” to this day, in 2019! The only downside to the binge is that I watched it on the NBC app, where they also included the Superstore panel from SDCC. The general vibe I got off that was that this show is another Seinfeld, where the actors only pretended to like each other. A friend of mine pointed out that this is exactly like working in retail. In any case, It felt like America Ferrera kinda runs that set, and they all just sort of work one rung beneath her. Maybe it was just convention panel jitters, but it didn’t come off like “These are people who enjoy each other’s company”. I want to believe they’re really friends! Anyway, if you’ve ever been curious about the show, I highly recommend it.

In movie/TV/80s/cartoon/toy news, Hasbro is moving forward with a G.I. Joe spinoff film starring Crazy Rich Asians star Henry Golding as Snake Eyes. I find that character exhausting, which is why I’m much more interested in another Joe spinoff that was announced, which would focus on the character Chuckles. As the Joes’ undercover specialist, his sole animated appearance was in G.I.Joe: The Movie. As such, he’s never been taken that seriously by the fandom, so this announcement comes as a surprise to many. I, however, am not surprised because I read the IDW comic miniseries G.I. Joe: Cobra, which focused on Chuckles being sent on an undercover mission to infiltrate Cobra. Not only did I enjoy that series more than the regular Joe book at the time, but I also saw the character in a whole new light. That series felt like a dark Showtime/FX series, so I could definitely see it as the source for a good movie. I mean, it’s Paramount, so we can’t really hope for too much, but all is not lost!

Speaking of old 80s properties, I posted that tweet last night and was pretty surprised at the response. It was the result of a random tweet that popped up on my timeline, of someone swearing the Are You Afraid of the Dark? reboot better be good. Now, he clearly wasn’t the target audience for this show, so why was he so invested in it? A lot of folks asked me which show I was referring to, but the sad thing is that it didn’t matter. You could plug any old property into that blank, and you’d get the same response. There’s something about 80s and 90s kids who think these properties were theirs and theirs alone. Every generation needs their own stuff.

I’ve been saying for years that Hasbro should move away from the Duke/Destro iteration of G.I. Joe. It has its time and place, but too much has to be changed to work now. Can’t call Cobra a “terrorist organization” anymore, for one thing. Plus, kids really don’t give a shit about G.I. Joe anyway. Even if you tried to modernize it, they wouldn’t care. Is it a mobile game now? Maybe. Other than that, nope. A lot of this stuff is only loved by 40 year old men, and you can’t make them happy anyway. Between sexless marriages and prostate exams, they’re always gonna be full of piss and vinegar. I’m also talking to you, 40 year old men. You’re not really mad that She-Ra “looks like a boy”. No, you’re upset you got passed over again for a promotion, or you’re upset you can’t see your penis anymore. Let’s let kids have shit. Is that too much to ask? If you also happen to enjoy it, great, but Hollywood can’t keep catering to your old ass.

Trailer Park

Dolemite Is My Name (Netflix)

I never thought I would see Rudy Ray Moore as a sympathetic character, yet here we are. This looks so good to me. And that cast! I haven’t seen a Dolemite movie in, maybe, 25 years and it was an edited version on Channel 54. I’d like to check out the full, uncensored stuff, but I know that box set I used to see at Walmart is probably going for 3 figures on the secondary market as everyone jumps on the bandwagon in anticipation of this film. And the best part? I won’t even have to leave home to watch it!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Verizon, which paid an estimated $1.1 billion to acquire Tumblr, offloaded the site to WordPress’s parent company, Auttomatic, for a mere $20 million. Womp womp. That’s what you get for getting rid of all the porn! As someone once put it, Tumblr was the world’s most efficient porn delivery service, and they just threw that all away.
  • The X-Men adjacent series Legion ended on FX this week after three seasons. I’m sure one or two of y’all care about that.
  • Did we ever talk about the fact that the Mad About You revival got picked up by Spectrum? So, yeah, nobody’s gonna see it. In any case, actress Abby Quinn was cast as Paul & Jamie’s daughter, Mabel, who’s heading off to college. Who, besides Paul Reiser, wanted this show?
  • NBC is in talks to modernize ’80s Brat Pack film St. Elmo’s Fire and adapt it into a TV show. I remember watching this movie in the hospital room when my oldest was born. Despite being set locally, I could not relate to it, and couldn’t even tell you what it was about if ya asked me. That song, though, is iconic.
  • After 13 years apart, CBS and Viacom have resolved their differences, re-merging as ViacomCBS. On the upside, as my friend Zac put it, this means the Star Trek film and TV rights are now back under the same umbrella, which had been a source of problems over the last decade.
  • Speaking of CBS, there are reports that Drew Barrymore is in talks with the studio to develop a daytime talk show. I see that lasting about a season, if she’s lucky.
  • So, I guess Ewan McGregor is getting his Obi-Wan show on Disney+? I can’t even keep up anymore. I know there reports of it, but it still seems “iffy” right now. I just find it funny that the Star Wars fans want this, even though he’s a reminder of how much they supposedly hate the prequels (though 2019 revisionist history claims “They actually weren’t that bad”).
  • Some feel Jay-Z has sold out with his Roc Nation’s recent partnership with the NFL. He has argued that he can do more work to effect change from the inside, but that’s not enough for many. At the end of the day, rich folks gonna rich, so…
  • Chrisley knows best? It sure doesn’t seem like it! Reality stars Todd and Julie Chrisley were indicated this week, before a federal grand jury, for tax evasion, wire fraud, conspiracy to commit bank fraud and conspiracy to defraud the United States. WOW! And, to top it off, Todd tried to extort his daughter Lindsie by threatening to release a sex tape of her. I see the Chrisleys are trying to go FULL Kardashian! Let me know how that works out for you, Todd. In any case, the Chrisleys are facing up to 30 years in prison.

So everyone on Black Twitter this week seemed captivated by this new creation brought into the world by fast food fried chicken chain Popeyes. Now, I can’t even get arrested on Black Twitter, but I know people who know people, so I get the info I need to get. Apparently the chain had debuted a Chicken Sandwich, which was available in regular or spicy. I didn’t see a single person who didn’t get spicy. I wanna be hip. I like chicken. The problem, though, is that I HATE Popeyes.

You see, a few years ago, there used to be a Popeyes behind my then-job, and it made me sick every time I ate there. Not to mention the chicken never really looked right. You know how *done* fried chicken looks? Yeah, it didn’t look like that. It was always kinda pale looking. Anyway, that helped to reshape my chicken eating habits. Growing up, I always said I liked KFC’s chicken, but Roy Rogers chicken skin. I always wished there was some way to merge the two. Then Roy Rogers disappeared for about 20 years, so then I was pretty much just left with KFC.

When it comes to the chicken sandwich, however, there’s one chain that reigns supreme: Chick Fil A. Yeah, we all know about their politics, and they’re terrible, blah blah blah. But they sure make a damn good chicken sandwich. It’s the reason why so many people are conflicted: “My sister’s gay, but GODDAMN is that a good sandwich! Sorry, Christy.” So, in our new era of wokeness, everyone has been wanting that same experience, without all the guilt. Some will say “Wendy’s has a Spicy Chicken Sandwich that’s just as good!” No, they don’t, and you’re just playing yourself. Whenever a new chicken sandwich hits the streets, the Left (yeah, it IS a partisan matter at this point) can’t wait to see if there are guilt-free chicken sandwiches ahead for them. And there never are. You see, people are so desperate to replace those hate mongers, but they don’t realize that hate is their secret, tasty ingredient. Everyone knows it, but they can’t bear to admit it. I mean, that’s GOT to be it, right? Other than that, it’s just chicken and peanut oil. It’s not like there are 11 secret herbs and spices. Nope, gotta be the hate.

Anyway, I got sidetracked there. So, the Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich is a large boneless breast of chicken, on a plump brioche bun, accompanied by thick pickle chips and a reddish Cajun sauce. Sounds good to me! So, I went to the Popeyes nearest my job for lunch yesterday, and placed my order for this thing all the cool kids were raving about. I, then, proceeded to eat it in a parking lot in a safer neighborhood, ’cause this place is dangerous! What did I think? OVERRATED. I pretty much only tasted bun and pickles, which is odd because there was a sizable piece on chicken there. It was very crispy, but almost at the expense of juiciness. I can’t say it was “dry”, but it wasn’t exactly juicy and succulent. It’s certainly a filling sandwich, and I didn’t feel like “Huh, I could eat another one of those” when I was done. Still, I came here for the full chicken experience, and not just a brioche bun. I’d go to Panera if I wanted that. The chicken didn’t have much taste to it, while the bread and pickles were the only things that had *flavor*. Meanwhile, I thought the Cajun sauce would be doing the heavy lifting, but it’s just there, as a runny, mayo-based sauce. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I don’t think it’s exactly the King of Chicken Sandwiches. Not yet, at least. Still, nobody has cared this much about Popeyes on social media since we were all trying to decide who that Black chick was supposed to be in their commercials (does she own a franchise? Is she Mrs. Popeyes? Who IS she?!). That’s why the Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich had the West Week Ever.

 

26th Jul2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 7/26/19

by Will

Look at that – I’m back a week after my last post! Speaking of that post, I had a lot of good engagement. I reconnected with old friends, and another good friend even wrote a response piece. That’s what I like to see!

I’ve been really slacking in the movie-watching department ever since my second daughter was born. I think I watched something, like, 13 movies last year. The year my first was born, I watched around 71! So, I’m trying to work on that, which is why I sat down and watched Barbershop: The Next Cut when I caught it on TV last week. Luckily it was only rated PG-13 in theaters, and you can get away with murder on basic cable these days, so it was hardly edited.

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for years, as I was a big fan of the first one (I barely remember the second one), but just never got around to it. At the end of the day, the plot isn’t what these movies are about. No, the star of the franchise is the barbershop itself, as a safe haven where Black men (and now women) come to learn the news and gossip of the day. It’s akin to a community center and church, but you can also get shape-ups. The thing about these movies is that I always felt on the outside looking in, as I haven’t traditionally had the Black barbershop experience. When I was much younger, my mom would take me to Mr. Bill’s, which was a traditional Black barbershop just over the DC line. Shit was dangerous and inconvenient, though, so I ended up at the Hair Cuttery near our house for the next few years. Then, there was the stint where she’d just cut it herself, as it’s pretty easy to just do the same length all over with clippers. So, it wasn’t until college that I got the TRUE barbershop experience. And, in true Will fashion, I fucked it up. Gather ’round, children, as I’m gonna tell you a lost adventure of which I’m not very proud.

So, at Cornell (did I tell you I went to Cornell?), there were really only 2 ways to get a haircut if you were Black: 1) you got it cut by someone at Ujamaa (the Black dorm – no, dorms weren’t segregated, but it was an option if you wanted to live amongst your people. I did not live in Ujamaa. I lived across the street, and looked at them from my window like a Jewish kid looking at the Christian family on Christmas morning) or 2) you went to JC Knight downtown. Every time I went over to “The Uj”, the reception was basically “Who the fuck are you and why are you here?” So, JC Knight it was. Knight’s shop was downtown, just off the Ithaca Commons pedestrian mall, and was highly popular. Every Black person in town knew him and his shop. So, one day I went down there and sat down waiting for my turn. Bad move. At the Cuttery, you just took whoever was available, so I didn’t understand the politics that I needed to request someone. So I think I sat a good hour before they even acknowledged me and were like “Um, you waitin’ for somebody?” I meekly said “Anyone who will take me.” Thus began my immersion into the Black barbershop experience.

I would go down to the shop about once a month (or whenever I hadn’t blown all my money on comics), and learn what had been going on in the Black world while I’d been studying up on The Hill. Sophomore year I started going less and less because that was the year of my S-Curl Experiment. Oh, you don’t know what an S-Curl is? Ugh, I need more Black readers.

So, an S-Curl is kinda like a Jheri Curl, in that your hair is processed, and you keep it wet looking by spraying “activator” on it every now and then. Think 80s Michael Jackson. It’s a lye process that basically straightens Black hair, but then you can do shit to it, like style it with gel and stuff. So, in my “Man, I sure would like to look like I’m in a boyband” year 2000 desperation, I did this to my hair. As such, I didn’t need as many haircuts because you wanted it to get long so you could do more with it. Every now and then you’d just need the sides touched up. And this was the beginning of the end.

You see, Knight and his boys knew I was sheltered and really didn’t have much “street cred”. I was just some innocent kid from Wheaton, Maryland, but I’m sure they probably said stuff like “He thinks he’s White.” People always said shit like that when I was in predominantly Black situations. It has taken me years to come to this realization that I’m about to share with you, but it just goes to show that I’m somewhere on the spectrum that it never occurred to me sooner. So, one time he cleaned up my sides, and when he was done it was time to pay him. God…I hate just thinking about this now. You know how you MEAN to say one thing, but something else comes out? OK, so the haircut was $20, and I wanted to tip, but I only had two $20 bills. I gave him both, and he was like “Are you sure?” *Sigh*

OK, like I had said above, I was spending every last cent on comics, because I could Cornell Card anything else I needed, and just charge it to the bursar. So, I knew that money in my hands would be a bad situation. What I MEANT to say was “Hey, it’s better in your hands than in mine.” However, I’m awkward and nervous at times. What I DID say was “Hey, you probably need it more than I do.” FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK. I basically pulled a Rich Frat Boy on him, and the saddest part was I didn’t even realize it at the time. It was years later when I was like “Oh, wait, that said in that way is pretty fucking bad.” I just walked out of the shop, thinking everything was hunky dory. So, the next time I went, nobody could fit me in. I had been blackballed by the barbershop. Knight DID do me a sold, though, by giving me a referral. He wasn’t gonna mess with me anymore, but his friend Carol, this White lady who worked at the salon in the mall, could cut Black hair. I think he played it off as not knowing what to do with the S-Curl, but we know what the real reason was. So, cast out of Black Eden, I proceeded to get my hair cut by Carol until I graduated.

About 10 years ago, I tried to reenter the barbershop world. I found a place in Silver Spring, but there are so many unspoken politics of the shop – not only the different ways to get into someone’s chair, but also learning what you can and can’t talk about. Does this shop think Obama does enough for Black people? Does this shop think Obama is a sellout? What about the Hotep guy in the corner? He’s probably got some off-the-wall thoughts on things. That stuff was just tiring, so I retreated back to the Cuttery, where some woman asks me how I’m doing, in broken English, and leaves it at that.

Anyway, Barbershop: The Next Cut was like revisiting an old acquaintance. We were never close enough to be friends, but our association was enough that I could wonder what might have been. If you’ve never seen this one, the gang violence around the shop in the south side of Chicago has increased, and Ice Cube’s Calvin struggles with the decision of whether or not to move the shop to the north side. Meanwhile, a bunch of stuff is going on in the shop, like Common is married to Eve, but Nicki Minaj is trying to break up their marriage (why did it take this movie for me to finally see Nicki and say “DAMN!”?). There are new barbers, played by New Girl‘s LaMorne Morris and The Mindy Project‘s Utkarsh Ambudkar added to the mix. When the violence reaches its peak, the shop decides to sponsor a weekend ceasefire to bring to community together. Meanwhile, you got all that good barbershop banter: What did Obama do for US? Can you blame THOTS for unfaithful men? And to quote a deplorable man, “There were good people on both sides.” Anyway, it was an enjoyable little movie, even if Hella predictable at times (that straight-laced, good boy didn’t stand a chance).

This week in comics, the X-Men franchise got something of a housecleaning when Jonathan Hickman took over, with House of X #1 as the start of his run. Now, I’m always apprehensive when Marvel starts touting a grand plan for the X-Men because of two reasons 1) I tend not to like those grand plans and 2) I feel it shits on the journeymen who were struggling to keep the books afloat between grand plans. Imagine you finally get your dream job of writing X-Men, only for your run to be forgotten as some palette cleanser between 2 big name writers. You either die Grant Morrison, or you live long enough to become Chuck Austen.

Now, one of the biggest X-Men relaunches was when Morrison took over “adjectiveless” X-Men and renamed it New X-Men (meanwhile, Chuck Austen was cranking out massive turds over in Uncanny X-Men). Morrison had a grand plan where humans discovered that they would be extinct in a few generations and mutants would become the dominant species. Characters were experiencing “secondary mutations”, resulting in newer appearances and powers. In true Morrison fashion, his ideas were “out there” and, while they brought a lot of attention to the line, Marvel proceeded to spend the next 5 years following his run undoing everything he had done. As then-Editor in Chief Joe Quesada said, they “had to put the genie back in the bottle”. So, enter Scarlet Witch, whose utterance of “No More Mutants” reduced the Earth’s mutant population down to a mere 198 characters. There goes any designs of taking over humanity when your entire species could fill a 737. Secondary mutations? Fake. Sure, a few characters from his run remained, like the Stepford Cuckoos and Xorn, but Marvel did their damnedest to erase the broad strokes of his story.

So, imagine my surprise when they started touting Hickman’s upcoming run as the most drastic, sweeping thing they’ve done since Morrison’s run. Well, first of all, RIP to all the writers who’ve manned the books since Morrison’s run ended in 2004. And next, I already know how this is going to play out. My fears were confirmed when I went to a midnight release for House of X and read the book. Verdict? NOT FOR ME. It really does feel just like a remix of the Morrison run, even though I’m sure there will be Hickmanian twists and turns. I can’t do Mutants Have The Upper Hand because I always wait for other shoe to drop.

In the book, it appears that Xavier and Magneto’s dreams have finally learned to co-mingle, and Xavier has a bunch of wonder drugs he’s willing to offer to humanity in exchange for them recognizing his sovereign nation of Krakoa (yeah, the island from 1975’s Giant Size X-Men #1).  We learn a lot about what the drugs do, and how the world’s governments feel about them. In true Hickman fashion, there are charts in infographics, so reading it makes you feel like you’re studying for a final, trying to glean every important detail from the page. Once again, we discover that not only is humanity on the verge of extinction, but that it’s approaching more rapidly than previously thought. The book ends with Magneto introducing mutants as the new gods of Homo Sapiens.

As we saw in Avengers/Secret Wars, Hickman is ALL about playing the long game. He will mine history and go for some deep cuts. It’s probably a rich experience for those who really commit to it, but I found myself bored early on with his Avengers run, and only came back for the pseudo-satisfying Secret Wars. I’m sure y’all are in for an interesting 4-5 year ride, but I don’t think I want a ticket for it. It’s a pretty sizable dose of Been There Done That, with more than a dash of I Simply Don’t Care. Not trying to be cynical because I WANTED to like it. It’s just not BOLD enough.

Meanwhile, characterizations didn’t feel right. Other than the Magneto/Cuckoos scenes, everyone else felt strangely out of character. I’m sure there’s a reason for it, but I’m not sure I care to invest 3 months in finding out WHY. Because we ALL know that the only way to get this genie back in the bottle is gonna be to have some kind of devastating No More Mutants event around 2024. If comics are still around by then…

The problem with comics is that they’re cyclical. They have to give the appearance of change without offering actual change. And I’ve often said that the average life cycle of a comics fan is about 15 years. Marvel’s counting on folks to have not read the Morrison run because, well, it was 15 years ago. So it’s not really a “crime” that Hickman seems to borrow heavily from it, as the fan base that read that story should have already cycled out of comics by now. Sure, some have stuck around, and they might be as vocal as I am about it, but I just feel it’s kinda cheap to go back to that well, no matter how much time has passed. It’d be like trying to mount the full-on Age of Apocalypse again (which would be nigh impossible in the Internet Age).

At SDCC, it was announced that the House of X/Power of X miniseries wrap up in October, at which point the actual ongoing series will launch. Maybe the dust will settle by then, and I’ll check out the franchise at that point. House of X, however, didn’t grab me enough to come back to this party on a weekly basis. If anything, I’ll read it once it’s collected.

Over the weekend, I took on the Herculean task of cleaning out my Gmail. I’m terrible with email, and I often say if you want to get in touch with me you’d better just tweet at me. On Saturday night, my inbox was over 7,000, but I got it to 198 by Monday morning. The biggest problem is that I don’t delete the junk immediately when it comes in. It also doesn’t help that I have Twitter set up to email me whenever I get a DM or a Like/RT.

The DM thing is funny because I have a record of conversations long after some folks have unfollowed me. If you’ve ever DMed me, I still have it in Gmail. And it was quite the trip down Memory Lane. People I’d forgotten about, who just, one day, stopped tweeting. Did they die? Were they deported? In most cases, I’ll never know. In a lot of ways it was sad. “Oh, here’s that trans gal who I supported during her difficult transition, but unfollowed me out of the blue.” Or “Oh, here’s the girl who might’ve catfished me, but I’ll never know because her sister now says she’s dead”. Yeah, I’ve lived a crazy life online. It’s just interesting how people can come into your life, and you make what you consider to be meaningful connections with them, and then they can leave just as easily as they entered.

Trailer Park

Ready or Not

Man, White people won’t let us have anything! This is just White Get Out.

Zombieland: Double Tap

I honestly didn’t care about this thing until Rosario Dawson showed up. I mean, I enjoyed the original, but it really doesn’t hold a special place in my heart, nor did I just love the characters. I guess it’d be interesting to see what they’ve been up to all these years, but this is not a theater movie for me. I’ll be streaming it somewhere.

Playmobil: The Movie

First and foremost, I’m just bracing myself for folks to mispronounce the brand’s name. It’s Play-mo-BEEL. It’s European, you uncultured swine! Second, this is just sad. We all know WHY they’re doing it, but they never seemed to stop to discuss whether they SHOULD. They’ve kinda sold out, and this is a prime example of that.

When I was growing up, Playmobil was a high-end brand, bought by upper middle-class White parents who wanted their kids to have the “action figure experience”, without it being tied to some sort of cartoon or movie. It promoted creativity and, while not a brick system, its pieces were modular. You know the kids who had Playmobil: unless their parents were European, it was usually that kid who was allergic to something weird, like foods that were red. And he always wore corduroy. In recent years, however, they’ve tried to “diversify their bonds” by taking on licenses, like Ghostbusters and How to Train Your Dragon. I get it. Gotta do what you can to survive. But a movie? One that doesn’t even look remotely GOOD? PASS. I just hope this thing doesn’t drag the toys down with it.

The Rocketeer (Disney Junior)

Surprisingly no one is talking about this trailer that debuted last weekend at SDCC. OK, honesty time: I’ve never seen The Rocketeer. Based on the ratio of Likes to Dislikes on YouTube, those who have seen it aren’t too keen on this show. I think it looks cute, and I know my girls would enjoy it. This might be as close to superhero stuff as I’m gonna get with Evie, so I’ll take it.

Power Rangers: Beast Morphers (Nick)

Though the show is currently on hiatus, this trailer that also debuted at SDCC confirmed a longstanding rumor: original Red Ranger, Jason (played by Austin St. John), would be returning to the franchise next season. Now, I always felt that Austin AND his character had the charisma of a wet paper bag, but I think everyone is tired of Green/White Ranger Jason David Frank, so I’ll take it.

Harley Quinn (DC Universe)

I enjoyed this sizzle reel of the upcoming series, but not enough to actually subscribe to the DC Universe streaming service. The animation looks choppy at times (see the scene where she’s flossing out of the room), and I think I’d prefer Rauch to Cuoco if we HAD to cast a Big Bang alum. I don’t think the service is long for this world, so hopefully this show doesn’t get lost in the shuffle, and at least comes out on Warner’s streaming service, HBO Max.

Star Trek: Picard (CBS All Access)

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? TAKE IT!

I have been adamantly against the CBS All Access “experiment”, and my love for Trek wasn’t strong enough for me to subscribe for Discovery. But THIS?! Seven of Nine?! And Sirtis and Frakes have confirmed that Riker and Troy are coming back?! Oh, sign me the fuck up! You got me, CBS.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • In a surprising move, Seth MacFarlane announced that his sci fi drama The Orville would be moving to Hulu for its 3rd season. Apparently he needed more time to deliver the episodes, while Fox needed to fill its schedule. So, with the Hulu arrangement, the show won’t return until late 2020.
  • Thank you, Yahweh! Avengers: Endgame has finally unseated Avatar as the highest grossing movie in the world. Now, I’ve actually never seen Avatar, but it always bothered me that something with absolutely no pop culture footprint sat atop that chart. Yes, I know the film was responsible for advances in film making, but that’s not enough for me. I want lunchboxes! So, bye, Avatar!
  • It was announced yesterday that the Will & Grace revival would end after this fall’s 11th season. I guess that’s sad news to someone, but I never acknowledged the revival since it would have to retcon the show’s original finale.
  • Damon Lindelof has clarified that the upcoming HBO Watchmen show is NOT a reboot of the classic comic miniseries, but rather a sequel set 30 years after the original.
  • It was a big week for comic adaptations, as AMC is developing a series based on Image Comics’s Farmhand, meanwhile Amazon is developing a series based on Image’s Paper Girls.
  • Brandon Routh will be suiting up again as Superman for the first time since Superman Returns, in The CW’s “Crisis On Infinite Earths” event this fall. Since they can’t use the Returns suit, he will actually don the “S” of Kingdom Come Superman.
  • After “saving” it following its cancellation at ABC, Netflix has cancelled Kiefer Sutherland’s Designated Survivor. It’s almost like it was based on a shaky premise with no real longevity, huh? Look for talk of that 24 movie to heat up in the next few months…
  • Lifetime is prepping a movie based on the Lori Loughlin college bribary scandal, and I’m left wondering if she can play herself. I mean, who else is a “Lori Loughlin type” whose quote is in line with what Lifetime is willing to pay? Some good recommendations from Twitter were Dina Meyer, Paige Turco, and Jennie Garth.

It was a huge week for Marvel Entertainment, as they revealed a ton of things during San Diego Comic Con last weekend. First, we got new Marvel Legends toy reveals, including some figures a lot of folks had been clamoring for, such as Squirrel Girl, a redesigned Jean Grey and a beautiful Doctor Doom.

And for their MCU figures, they revealed that “Dude” Thor would be the Build A Figure for an upcoming all MCU wave of figures:

For a full list of what’s coming out from the line, check out my pal over at AwesomeToyBlog!

But the excitement didn’t end with the toys. Marvel also unveiled their Phase 4 slate of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We already knew about the Disney+ shows, including WandaVision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Loki, What If? and Hawkeye. No, the real surprises were the film reveals, including Eternals, Thor: Love and Thunder, Black Widow, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and Shang-Chi: The Legend of the Ten Rings. And just when everyone thought they were done, they announced Mahershala Ali would be starring in a new Blade film.

While these announcements took folks by surprise, there were some glaring omissions: Black Panther 2, Captain Marvel 2, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3, etc. Kevin Feige promised, however that these are still in development, as well as plans for the Fantastic Four and the mutant contingent.

Quick thoughts on each film:

Eternals – I know nothing of the source material, but it’s got Angelina Jolie, Kumail Nanjiani, Salma Hayek, and Brian Tyree Henry in the cast, so that’s good enough for me. Maybe it’ll take us by surprise, like Guardians did.

Thor: Love and Thunder – I don’t really know if we needed Thor 4, but I guess they’d be leaving money on the table by not doing it. The biggest surprise is that Natalie Portman is returning as Jane Foster, who will also become the Mighty Thor, just as in the comics a few years back. It’s just funny that, for years, I heard Portman was difficult to work with, but apparently not that difficult if they’ve brought her back.

Black Widow – I still say this thing is a day late and a dollar short. Plus, if Scarlett keeps opening her damn mouth, she’s gonna kill any goodwill folks have towards this movie.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness – Finally, a movie that will do what Far From Home did not: explore the Multiverse. Still, I felt Doctor Strange’s first movie was “meh” (It was basically a remixed Iron Man, with half the charisma), and it’s being billed as the MCU’s first horror film, which ain’t exactly my genre. I’ll still see it, though.

Shang Chi: The Legend of the Ten Rings – This one was somewhat surprising in that it actually seemed to confirm a fan theory that I’d seen online before it was announced. Someone had said “What if Shang Chi’s father is the REAL Mandarin?”, instead of the fraud we got in Iron Man 3. And while that’s not necessarily the plot (that we know of), it does seem to be headed in that direction, with the mention of the Ten Rings.

Blade – I don’t love those Wesley Snipes movies like the rest of y’all. I think I only saw the first one anyway. So, I welcome a change. Snipes is too old anyway, but I’m sure they’ll work him in there as something. Maybe a mentor character or something.

So, while they walloped us with surprises, I still feel like the slate is missing a bit of Wow Factor. With Thor as the elder statesman of the MCU, I’d like a few more familiar properties to anchor this phase, with the newer stuff sprinkled in. Like, it’s time for Doctor Strange 2, but Blade could’ve waited, as could Eternals. I guess they’re trying to get a new trilogy off the ground, but there are a lot of untried concepts here. It’s not like they can easily make a Black Widow 2 by just shoving the movies between preexisting films, as there are no stakes if we already know how her story ends. I mean, Chadwick Boseman is already 41. We need to crank out 2 more Panthers while he still can! Anyway, they’re taking a lot of chances here. It’s not that it’s unearned, but it does feel a bit like hubris.

At the end of the day, I think it’s safe to say that Marvel won Comic Con. Back in the day, that was a thing. “Who won SDCC?” This year, I couldn’t even tell you any comic news that was announced, other than some auxiliary X-books that don’t sound too interesting. Did DC even show up? So, some might say it wasn’t even a competition this year, but whatever. Marvel came away from the show on everyone’s lips, and that’s why Marvel Entertainment had the West Week Ever.

19th Jul2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 7/19/19

by Will

Howdy! I take so many breaks that I’ve run out of clever ways to announce my return. I swear this is supposed to be a weekly thing, but it’s been a little over a month since I last wrote something. I’d say that nothing really happened in pop culture during that time, but it wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is that I didn’t really want to talk about what was happening in pop culture. There’s been a shift lately, and I don’t like what I see.

On the one hand, you’ve got the political stuff, which just seems to get worse by the day. Just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. I don’t really do a lot of politics here anyway, so there’s no real value about talking about kids in cages. You already know about that, and you’ve already made up your mind as to how you feel about that. On the other hand, though, there’s a HELL of a lot of regression going on. There’s this retro movement that I can’t really get on board because, if we’re being honest, a lot of that stuff was really bad. I get why it’s happening: things are so bad now that you’d rather retreat back to a simpler time when things didn’t seem so bad (Psst! We were in the middle of the Cold War, and Radon was threatening to kill you in your sleep every night you laid down your little head). I get that whole “safe haven” approach, but it’s become something of a crutch. A lot of folks are going so retro that they have no real ties to the present, and that’s dangerous.

On top of that, it feels like there’s some unspoken competition to see who has the most raging nostalgia boner. It started out as posts about Ecto Cooler, but somewhere along the way it has evolved (or devolved) to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone tweet “I traveled back in time and sucked New Coke out of Mac Tonight’s dick while ‘Sledgehammer’ played on my Pocket Rockers.” It has gotten THAT bad. If you don’t realize it, then you’re in the thick of it, and part of the problem.

Now, a lot of this comes from the place of me not being able to relate, as I don’t have a soft spot in my heart for a lot of the stuff folks hold dear. So, when something like Stranger Things comes along – a property that relies on the nostalgia of an age I’d prefer to not relive – I’m just left thinking “Come the fuck on! There are important things that need your attention.” But that presents another problem: not everyone needs to worry about the “important” things because many of them aren’t informed enough to weigh in. So, my whole stance the past month was basically “I can’t make you care, but I sure as Hell don’t feel like playing into Little Mermaid race hysteria when it all seems so stupid.”

Also, there are various versions of the above meme floating around social media which I just find to be abhorrent. Sure, your dad used to beat you, and your mom had a drug problem, but it’s the fact that you didn’t watch ThunderCats that your childhood sucked. Got it. That’s the problem with nostalgia: the oversimplistic notion that everything was right in the world because these random things existed. If that’s all that equated a “great childhood” to you, then you’re a lucky SOB.

There is a problem with living in the past. Things change, people change, the world changes. Take music for example. I strive REALLY hard not to be that “Music sucks nowadays” guy. There is still good, NEW stuff out there, even if you have to work a little harder to find what you like. I don’t want to get stagnant, even though age and life would like to say otherwise. Nostalgia is the easy way out. And it may make you feel good, but it also, somewhat unknowingly, disconnects you from the present. Everything is fine in moderation, but from what I see online, “moderation” is a concept that 2019 stabbed through the heart.

Anyway, this isn’t a “subtweet” about any particular person or site. There’s just too much goddamn retro/throwback stuff. Some do it better than others. All I’m saying is I’m seeing more of the past than of the present, and I know there’s some good, modern-day stuff out there so I’m going to try really hard to find it and bring it to this column. Fondly looking back on the past every now and then is fine, but stop using nostalgia as a crutch. Life was not necessarily better just because Knight Rider and ALF were on the air. There’s a great episode of Teen Titans Go! that kinda slams things like the aforementioned Stranger Things in its title alone: “Nostalgia Is Not A Substitute for An Actual Story”. Words to live by.

So, I saw Spider-Man: Far From Home a few weeks ago, but it was the first MCU film in years that I didn’t see on opening night. Maybe back to Thor: The Dark World? Anyway, I really enjoyed it, even though I’m burnt out on the MCU. There’s pre-Endgame and post-Endgame, and the world seems a bit less magical post-Endgame. I don’t have a ton of gripes about it, except for the fact that it does not, in fact, set up the multiverse. I mean, I don’t doubt that there is one, but this movie was sold as “The Snap introduced the concept of the multiverse”, and that was not true. Plus, I need to watch it again because the end credits (not the mid credits) scene kinda changes how you look at the movie. It answers some questions while posing a few others. I love the actors and the characters, though, and I don’t really have many fanboy nitpicks about the film. I may have been more passionate about it 2 weeks ago, but that’s the stuff of hot takes, so I’m glad I got to sit on it a bit before writing about it.

Diddy (is that what he’s going by this week?) announced on Instagram that music reality show Making The Band would be returning. If you don’t remember, the show gave us such chart-topping acts as O-Town and…O-Town. In fact, there were 2 eras of MTB: The original ABC/MTV version, produced by Lou Pearlman, which saw the creation of boyband O-Town, and then the Diddy/MTV version, which gave us hip hop group Da Band, R&B male group Day26, solo artist Donnie Klang, and girl group Danity Kane (There must’ve been some contractual thing that every group had to start with “D”). Looking at that list, I think you can figure out which era was more successful. So, excuse me if I’m not too excited to see what Diddy’s got cooking for this revival.

Elsewhere in the TV world, it was announced yesterday that next season would be the last for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.LD. As one of the biggest cheerleaders of the notion of “Guys, this show is really in the MCU!”, I have to say that it lost me when it refused to acknowledge the events of Infinity War/Endgame. Yes, I understand that they weren’t sure when ABC was going to air this season, but that’s not good enough for me. In a perfect world, this season of S.H.I.E.L.D. would have been set during the five year post-Snap world. It would’ve been interesting to see S.H.I.E.L.D. as the main line of defense in a world that has lost all hope. Instead, they decided to do their own thing, thereby establishing a different timeline for the show. So, as far as I’m concerned, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ended last season, with Coulson and May on the beach together. I haven’t even given it a chance since then because, good or not, I’m a guy who only likes to invest in things that “matter” in the grand scheme of things, and AoS no longer fits that description.

Speaking of shows ending, it caught me by surprise a few weeks ago to learn that the episode of The Amazing World of Gumball that I’d just watched was actually its series finale. To make matters worse, Cartoon Network had failed to promote it as such. I only realized it after the creator tweeted some art, thanking the crew, and a little Googling later, I found out that was it. The End. I figure, considering that Gumball is about 40% of their schedule, Cartoon Network can’t really afford to make it known that there’s nothing left in the tank. Still, while people complain (rightfully so) about Cartoon Network’s scheduling practices, I stand by the opinion that Gumball was one of the smartest shows on television. There’s a great episode about privilege and the “glass ceiling”. There’s a scathing episode about homeschooling flat earthers. There’s even a House of Cards parody. For all of its wackiness, there was a lot of heart and intelligence in that show. The episode “The Choices” is just as emotional as the opening of Up! It also doesn’t help matters that the episode was a cliffhanger, insinuating that something bad was headed to the town of Elmore. There are talks that a movie might happen, which would tie things up, but I’ve learned not to put much stock in the “wrap up movie” promise. So, let’s pour one out for Gumball, Darwin, Anais, Mr Dad, and Nicole. May you forever live on in reruns.

Out in the toy world, we got our first looks at 2 high-end products that require fan input to make them a reality. For those not in the know, Hasbro has a concept called HasLab, where they run a crowdfunded, Kickstarter-like model to fund products that wouldn’t normally make it to stores, either because of size or price point. The first HasLab item was the Star Wars Jabba’s Sail Barge, which clocked in around $500. Despite that price, it was pretty popular amongst Star Wars toy collectors. Well, last week, Hasbro debuted the next HasLab item, which took folks by surprise: a $300 Cookie Monster doll. While it seems they’ve nailed the googly-eye tech, it’s surprising that there aren’t any animatronics given the price tag. As you can probably imagine, this didn’t sit well with “hardline” toy fans, so they had their day this week, when Hasbro also revealed the Titans scale Transformers Unicron, which will cost about $575. That mother is HUGE, and most of my timeline is all “I wish I could afford it…” There’s even a hole on the back in which I’m CERTAIN some fans will be inserting their penises. However, as I said on Twitter, for $575, I’d be disappointed if you DIDN’T fuck it!  I’m just glad HasLab focuses on properties I don’t care about. It’ll be a different story when they’re like “Here’s a 6″ scale Avengers Tower.” Then you’ll see me on the news, after I’ve robbed a check-cashing joint.

Trailer Park

The King’s Man

Originally called Kingsman: the Great Game, this is the prequel to the Kingsman franchise, and I’m pretty excited. I loved the first movie, though still haven’t watched the second. This one, however, seems to be playing it more straight than the past 2 installments, as I don’t see the same brand of humor in it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though, as some of the humor was really distracting in the first one (the whole bit about Eggsy “buggering” the blonde at the end comes to mind). Not sure I’ll see this one in the theater, but we’ll see.


Legend of the White Dragon

Former Power Ranger Jason David Frank just can’t give up the ghost, so here he is, trying to fund a Kickstarter for what’s basically Mighty Public Domain Rangers. It was one thing when it was just JDF, but now there’s a cottage industry of former Rangers who just can’t seem to shake the morpher. And they’re ALL in this film. Now, I don’t do Kickstarters anymore because I’ve been burned too much, but I’ll definitely watch this if it’s funded. It’s apparently a “movie”, but I’ll bet it’s one of those things that’s gonna clock in at an hour when all is said and done. That’s not a movie. That’s a “special”. If a movie is an LP, this thing will be an EP.


Teen Titans Go! vs. Teen Titans

Yeah, I know this was teased at the end of Teen Titans Go to the Movies, but I’m left wondering: Who’s this for? I find there is very little crossover between audiences for both shows, and this certainly isn’t the “return” that Teen Titans fans were expecting. If I were a fan of the original Teen Titans show (which I’m not), I’d kinda find this whole enterprise offensive. Hell, as a fan of Teen Titans Go! I find the whole thing offensive. I also find it interesting that it’s straight to DVD. It’s not like it’s worthy of a box office release, but considering it is the “return” of that incarnation of the team, I figured DC/WB would’ve found some special way to debut it. I no longer buy those DC direct to DVD movies, so I don’t know how I’m ever gonna see it unless Cartoon Network decides to air it one Saturday (which wouldn’t be that much of a surprise).

Jay & Silent Bob Reboot

“Daddy, put me in a movie! A real movie. Not some shit like Yoga Hosers!” Man, I’m old enough to remember when Harley Quinn Smith was born, and now she’s in her dad’s vanity project. It’s funny how all the “stars” from the last Jay & Silent Bob movie are has beens now. I guess that’s the joke, huh? And please don’t make me have to look at 2019 Shannon Elizabeth! See, this is what I was talking about earlier, about digging up the past! Anyway, I’ll see it, but not in a theater unless I somehow decide to try to go to that traveling roadshow thing they’re doing.

Top Gun: Maverick

Does this movie hold the record for longest amount of time between sequels, featuring the original star? It’s GOT to, right? Anyway, I have no real affinity for the original, but this kinda got me curious. I always thought Top Gun 2 was gonna be about Maverick instructing the next generation of flyboys. Instead, it’s just about some 50 year old dude who doesn’t know how to land the plane. I guess you’d pretty much have to see this one on the big screen, with all the planes doing plane shit and stuff.

CATS

Um, so many confusing and conflicting emotions inside…

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Netflix has decided to remove the controversial suicide scene from season 1 of 13 Reasons Why, which I guess would be 1 reason why I’d not want to waste my time watching this series, seeing as how that’s what the whole thing is about.
  • Comic writer/artist/Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld will be doing a G.I. Joe Snake-Eyes comic, so queue up all your “He can’t draw feet” jokes!
  • “Mumblecore” screenwriter Greta Gerwig is reportedly writing Margot Robbie’s Barbie movie that’ll never be made.
  • Controversial country star Lil Nas X came out as gay to cap off Pride Month, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who knew that he was kicked off Twitter back in the day for violating the terms of service with a Nicki Minaj stan account.
  • Hasbro is apparently preparing to reboot the Power Rangers movie franchise with an entirely new cast from the one that starred in the underperforming 2017 outing.
  • Black UK actress Lashana Lynch will reportedly play 007 in Bond25, which will require Daniel Craig’s James Bond to come out of retirement. And the folks, of course, are losing their shit. Or so the Russian bots would lead us to believe!
  • Call up your alcoholic uncle, because his favorite show, Nash Bridges, is being revived with Don Johnson for USA Network!
  • Someone needs to rein in America’s White Trash Food Scientists as, between Burger King’s $1 tacos and KFC’s Cheetos Sandwich, the nation’s colons don’t stand a chance!
  • This is 5 years old, but I just discovered it yesterday, so now you have to join me on this adventure:

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in an ICE cage), then you couldn’t get through this week without coming into contact with the FaceApp. Somewhere, on one of your social media feeds, you saw someone laughing along to a pic of them looking like some elderly ghoul. I say that because nobody looked *good*. I hate to break it to you, but you’re all gonna age poorly, looking like Miss Jane Pittman. I didn’t join in the fun because it just seemed too…easy. You’re just letting this random ass app access your photo for…what? To see what you’d look like as a baby? I already have baby pics for that. To see what you’d look like as a woman? Yeah, I’m not about to catfish anybody any time soon. So, it certainly didn’t come as a surprise to me when it was revealed that the app was developed by our good friends, the Russians.

Wireless Lab is the Russian company that created the app, and Lord only knows what’s going to happen from that. It’s been reported that it accesses your entire camera roll and not just the pics you’re editing. And take a gander at the terms of service:

You grant FaceApp a perpetual, irrevocable, nonexclusive, royalty-free, worldwide, fully-paid, transferable sub-licensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, publicly perform and display your User Content and any name, username or likeness provided in connection with your User Content in all media formats and channels now known or later developed, without compensation to you. When you post or otherwise share User Content on or through our Services, you understand that your User Content and any associated information (such as your [username], location or profile photo) will be visible to the public.

Some folks thought the app would be used to hone facial recognition software, but this seems far worse. You’ll notice I haven’t included any pics with this entry. Yeah, I’m not gonna be a party to that. I’ve been pretty vocal about the fact that I don’t believe in privacy. It’s why all my screennames are my real name. Anyone can get anything they want about you if they try hard enough. I recognize this, but I’m not going to make it easy for them. We live in a world where folks will record an entire sex tape on their phones, willingly give access to the camera to a random ass app, and then get surprised when their sex tape “leaks”. Not so good at the math, are we? We complain about “privacy”, but we have open mics in our homes just to turn on the lamp ’cause, well, “it’s way over there”.

A friend online mentioned that there are other apps with far worse ToS than FaceApp, but that they weren’t getting nearly as much attention. That may be true, but that doesn’t make it right. Plus, the other sites probably give you an experience to make it worthwhile. I always say Michael Jackson got off all those years because he gave the world Thriller. Same situation here. Facebook’s ToS are pretty bad, but it at least allows me to stalk strangers and look at pics of my enemies’ ugly kids. To me, there’s a worthwhile trade-off there. Not with FaceApp.

If there’s a pic of me floating around out there it’s because someone uploaded one, but it sure as Hell wasn’t me. If the Russians want my secrets, they’re gonna have to do it the old fashioned way: get me into a motel room, and film me being peed on by one of their whores as a means of extortion. It won’t be from FaceApp. Still, can’t knock the hustle, so that’s why FaceApp had the West Week Ever.

Also, before we wrap up here, this week marks the 16th anniversary of the site. While I know that absolutely none of you have been along for the ride all 16 years, I appreciate each and every one of you who has jumped on along the way. If we’re being real, it only got “good” about 10 years ago, but there’s some good H&M drama in the early days if you’re into that sort of thing. Either way, this started as a means to pass the time when I got my first boring ass job. And here we are, many boring ass jobs later, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. Sure, I’ll take the occasional break – either when pop culture fails to produce OR I fear I’m about to burn some bridges – but I always come back. As long as there’s at least one of you out there, I’ll always come back. And probably even after that last one of you gives up. This is because I don’t know how to quit. So, this is my way of saying you’ll never be rid of me. Muhuhahahahahahahaha! But seriously, thanks for giving me something to look forward to every Friday.

24th May2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 5/24/19

by Will

Welcome to a special PRIME TIME edition of the post! I didn’t want to skip this week, and I had a ton to do today (I don’t get paid to blog!), so we’re doing this a little later than usual.

Did any of y’all watch the Norman Lear/Jimmy Kimmel Live In Front of a Studio Audience special this week? In case you missed it, an all-star cast (and some lesser stars) were assembled to recreate episodes of classic TV series All In the Family and The Jeffersons. Since the All In The Family episode was the first appearance of George Jefferson, it served as something of a crossover into the next installment, with Jamie Foxx in the role of George.

I’m still on the fence as to what I thought about it. Some folks were surprisingly good, like Kerry Washington and Will Ferrell as Helen and Tom Willis. Meanwhile, some were grossly miscast (Ellie Kemper as Gloria Bunker? Stephen Tobolowsky as Mr. Bentley?!). Meanwhile, some of the actor brought out new sides to the characters. For instance, Jamie Foxx couldn’t seem to nail down the seriousness of George, and instead played up the funny aspects of the character. Meanwhile, Woody Harrelson’s Archie was a little darker than Carroll O’Connor. Like, I could almost believe that he hit Edith a time or two, and I never got that vibe from the original series. Did Woody need to tone it down a bit? Was he miscast? Or did I completely miss something about Archie that was always right in front of me? Anyway, we can all agree that J.Hud appearance was FIRE!

In the end, it was a neat little experiment but, as I said on Twitter, I don’t want ABC to learn the wrong lesson here. The ratings for it were great, but I don’t want this to be a regular thing to the point where it’s 2035, and we’re waiting to see Tom Holland star in a reenactment of the ALF series finale. ‘Cause I know I’ll watch it, but I’ll hate myself the whole time.

In comics news, word on the street is that current Batman writer, Tom King, will be off the book by issue #85 – contrary to the fact that he had frequently mentioned that he was telling a 100-issue story. A lot of folks believe it could be due to this interview he gave The Hollywood Reporter, where he mentioned wanting to do something to leave his mark on the character. Yeah, other folks don’t like it when you write on their toys, Tom.

I like King. He’s a good writer who’s always been nice to me. I haven’t read his critically acclaimed stuff, like The Vision or Mister Miracle, rather I actually discovered him through his Middle East-set Vertigo comic, The Sheriff of Babylon. I used to find him at cons and say “I may not understand what’s going on half the time, but damn do I enjoy your book.” It got to the point where he started to recognize me. So, that said, it’s been interesting watching his career trajectory.

He’s a lot like Gwenpool, who is a character I love, with a lot of potential, who got a big push too soon. It wasn’t handled well. Marvel was determined to shove her down our throats. Like, have you seen a new character get a Marvel Legends figure that quickly? King got a lot of acclaim for Mister Miracle, but then seems to have lost all that goodwill with Heroes in Crisis. But to lose Batman from it?

It might not just be that, though, as I know some folks didn’t appreciate his bait & switch with the whole marriage to Catwoman, but did anyone really think that wedding was gonna take place? I have to admit that I haven’t read a single Rebirth-era Batman comic, so King’s run is foreign to me. I heard good stuff in the beginning, but not as much good stuff after the wedding point.

I feel DC put too much pressure on King, especially when the gamble that was the hiring of Brian Michael Bendis away from Marvel didn’t work out as well as they’d expected. It was unfair, and now King’s paying the price. The only other person who could get Batman right now is probably Bendis. So, congrats to anyone happy about that. That’s gotta be the worst thing about working in comics. You’re just plugging along, plotting your book, and then the publisher nabs some big name in a major coup, and that name is gunning for your book. They smile at the summits, but it’s been their dream to write your book. Anyway, DC hasn’t released an official statement yet, so here’s hoping for the best for all involved.

UPDATE

Here’s one of the perks of a later post. So, it was announced this evening that King and Clay Mann would be moving over to a spin-off title called Batman/Catwoman. Meanwhile, the Batman title will move back to a monthly schedule, so that it can more closely align with DC continuity. This is basically them saying, “Here’s some bullshit title for you to finish your little story while we clean up the mess you made.” So, since BM/CW is a 12-issue series, and King’s Batman run ends at #85, he’ll basically be getting his 100 issues, but they can easily say anything he does in it “doesn’t count” since they’ve committed the main Batman book to being all about continuity. Kinda sucks, but that’s the business, I suppose.

Trailer Park


Terminator: Dark Fate

One of the biggest issues Terminator fans seem to have is the matter of continuity. Basically, there’s always the question of When Does This Take Place? Seeing as how this is considered a direct sequel to Terminator 2: Judgment Day, that question is pretty moot for the other sequels in the franchise now. And, seeing as how I’ve never been a “Terminator person”, this won’t be an issue to me, as I’ve only ever seen Judgment Day. Never saw Rise of the Machines, Salvation,nor Genisys. Hell, I’ve never even seen the original. So I think I’m in a pretty good place. I’ll see this, but probably not in a theater. The trailer, though it ends on a cool airborne scene, feels pretty flat to me. Am I alone there?


Star Trek: Picard

I’m gonna upset some people here, but I’ve got to be true to myself. This looks like a commercial for erectile dysfunction meds. It has all the hallmarks of one: older White man, taking part in some hobby out in nature, somewhat soothing voiceover. ED drugs always have to show active White men. It’s like “Look, Trevor! You can still go sailing!” They don’t do that for us. The most active Black folks get in medicine ads is we might be playing basketball. Otherwise, we’re sitting somewhere, with a hat on, maybe playing checkers. But I digress…

This is NOT a very good teaser, but CBS knows that they can pretty much give us anything with Picard in it, and folks will get excited. This doesn’t feel…organic. It definitely feels like a fake ad that was created within the world of a television show. It’s just odd to see something of a news teaser in a society that I thought had long moved past such things. I know they have reporters, as Jake Sisko was one, but we’ve never really SEEN what a reporter does in the world of Star Trek. Anyway, I’m still not sure this is gonna get me to pay for CBS All Access, especially hearing the behind the scenes issues the show has been having.

Links I Loved

  • This is pretty self-serving of me, but I was a guest on the Nerd Lunch Podcast this week, as we revisited the Amalgam comic event, where popular Marvel and DC characters were mixed together, and came up with some of our own. It was a really fun show, so you should give it a listen.
  • My good buddy Tim got a chance to interview writer Jonathan Hickman about his upcoming X-Men run. I don’t care much about the comics, as they relaunch the X titles every 18 months. I’m more impressed by how much traction Tim’s piece is getting, even linked to by Marvel.com.
  • My other good buddy, Kevin, has launched a new podcast, The Team Hellions Podcast. It’s still in its infancy, but one day you’ll be able to tell folks you got in on the ground floor of something great. He’s a great storyteller, and it’s been fun seeing him make the jump from blog to pod.
  • Unless you’re new here, you already know about The Surfing Pizza. Well, good ol’ SP is creating Taco Bell Quarterly, which is a literary zine dedicated to the love of Taco Bell. Well, it’s so much deeper than that, actually. Yeah, I know. It’s gonna be awesome!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Adam Levine has decided to stop pretending to give a shit about discovering new pop stars, and will be leaving The Voice.
  • The Sonic the Hedgehog movie has been moved to 2020 so they can continue to “fix” it. Ugh, the “Bad Guys” won on this one…
  • It was Ecto Cooler Mania all over again, when folks learned that the 80s New Coke formula would be revived as a tie-in with the Netflix series Stranger Things. Coca-Cola lovingly gave fans the opportunity to pay $20 for a pack of the stuff that nearly drove them out of business 35 years ago. Ain’t nostalgia funny?
  • WWE, always with their finger on the pulse of what fans want, had Brock Lesnar – part-time, half-hearted wrestler – win Money in the Bank. Needless to say, the fans were livid, but they’re always mad about something.
  • Game of Thrones ended this week. The less said about that the better. Ya know, until 2027, when folks start lauding the finale as some kind of masterpiece, sorta like they’re doing with The Phantom Menace right now.
  • Despite seemingly getting that axe before last week’s Upfronts, there are rumblings that ABC’s Whiskey Cavalier may get a stay of execution.

So, if you were on Twitter this week, you sure read the EPIC thread by web designer Shane Morris. You see, he recounted the tale of the time he found a brick of heroin in a used van he’d purchased, and then proceeded to “move weight”, as the kids say, through a friend. Oh, and to make matters worse, he then told of how he ripped off the son of the original van owner – ya know, the guy whose heroin he’d sold – who also just happened to be a member of one of the worst gangs in the world. And he lived to tell about it.

I don’t want to paraphrase anything. You should just go read the thread for yourself.

Shit is CRAZY, right?! So, that’s why Shane Morris had –

Wait. We’re getting a live update as I type this. Apparently Shane has responded to the story with this:

WHAT?! YOU DON’T SAY!

Here’s the thing: after publishing that story, one of two things was gonna happen: 1) he was telling the truth, and he was gonna be murdered OR 2) he was lying, and he was gonna be murdered. He mentioned, by name, a gang that I don’t talk about in conversation. It’s THAT bad. They don’t just kill you. They kill everyone close to you. And he did this shit to sound like a big man on Twitter? Whew!

If you don’t feel like clicking the link, he basically said he did it in an attempt to see if he could top his own story about the time he ate 8 grams of mushrooms. When he saw how that had blown up, he just wanted to see if he could outdo his own story. Basically, he’s just a boring, 30-something, married software developer who wanted to have some Big Dick Energy for a bit. And I’ve GOT to know how his wife feels about the whole thing, now that they’re fearing for their lives and all.

I really hate to go there, but there is a hint of White Privilege at play when you think you can spin a yarn like this, citing one of the worst organizations around, and think there’ll be no repercussions. I’m not saying he thought he’d get away with it because he’s White, but I AM saying his “aloofness”, by virtue of his Whiteness, is why it never even occurred to him that some folks are not to be trifled with. At first I wondered if I was alone in that thinking, until in his confession, he states that his weed man even says to him, “Bro, that is the fucking whitest shit I have ever heard in my entire life.” Vindicated!

Morris went from being cock of the walk, with a movie deal in place for his story, to hiding on a friend’s couch, all in the span of 72 hours. That internet: she’ll make ya and then she’ll break ya!

I will say that I have never felt more seen than by this statement: “You might not understand this yet, but there’s a point you reach in your early 30s, after you get married, when you stop showering for 3–4 days sometimes, and you’re watching yoga videos, and you’re like, ‘Holy shit. What the hell happened to me? I feel like the least cool person on the planet.'”

I feel ya, Shane, but I’ve never woken up from that to the realization that I should start a gang war. So, you’re on your own now, buddy. Let this be a cautionary tale for you kids out there: don’t court trouble to impress strangers!

So, Live In Front Of A Studio Audience had the West Week Ever.

17th May2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture in Review 5/17/19 (Upfronts Edition)

by Will

Here it is, folks! My biggest post of the year, as I tackle the new shows that are coming to the broadcast networks this fall. I’ll admit, though, that I kinda had to go into training for this one. I felt somewhat out of practice, and I really wasn’t jazzed by anything I’d seen or heard up to this point. After seeing the trailers, though, I think this season shows some promise after all. Still, your mileage may vary on some of these shows. Let’s see what NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, and The CW have to offer!

NBC


SunnysideThursday 9:30 PM

I dunno about this one. I mean, I trust Michael Schur, but I’m also kinda tired of the “disparate group of people become support group” trope. It started for me with Dear John, but it’s been used as recently as ABC’s Single Parents. This is one of those shows where I’m left asking “What’s the endgame?” Where is it going? I mean, they’re trying to get citizenship, so he’s teaching them for the test. When does the test occur? Season 2? Are they just making this up as they go along?

There’s a lot of potential for this show to convey the “American Dream” to the folks of Middle America who might not understand the immigrant struggle. It’s something of a “foot in the door” tactic, where they’ll make you laugh while teaching you a new viewpoint. I like that about it. Still, there’s something about Kal Penn that I just don’t really like. It’s funny, because I loved the Harold & Kumar movies, but I’ve never really taken to “grown up” Penn. Maybe this will change that. Who knows? Anyway, it’s got that plum post-The Good Place time slot, so NBC clearly has faith in it.

Bluff City LawMonday 10:00 PM

I won’t watch it, but I like this. I think it’s because Jimmy Smits is just so damn hard to dislike. Maybe it’s the Cornell aspect (MFA, ’82), but I love that dude. This has a This Is Us meets Law & Order vibe to it, which really can’t fail when you look at those ingredients. It’s also getting that plum time slot after The Voice, which is basically like having the post-Super Bowl slot. I know I’m reaching here, but I almost feel like there’s a twist. NBC likes to do stuff like that in these heartfelt shows. Like, maybe Smits is actually dead, and the daughter is the only one who sees him (a la, NBC’s old show Providence). Perhaps he tries to recruit her back to the firm in the pilot, dies in a car accident, and then she agrees to join the family firm, setting the show in motion. Then he proceeds to inspire her to “change the world” from the spirit realm. Then again, I’m spitballing here. Wouldn’t be surprised if I was right, though.

Perfect HarmonyThursday 8:30 PM

Man, NBC’s creator pool really has an axe to grind with the Ivy League. First, we had A.P. Bio feature a Harvard professor who’s fallen from grace, and this show gives us a Princeton professor who’s fallen from grace. I love Bradley Whtiford and Anna Camp, but I have the same issues with this that I had with Sunnyside: just throw a bunch of weird folks together and watch what happens. Is this the only way to make a sitcom now? I mean, most sitcoms are like this, but they have a stronger setting: a bar, a workplace, an apartment. This is a small-town church choir. Is this gonna appeal to Big City types?

Plus ,I’m scared this is gonna follow a Glee trajectory. So, you put the choir together, you make them better, then you make them compete. What happens next? Do they win the competition, or do they fail to give the show more time and something else for them to strive towards? When I see a show, I always want to wonder “What does the finale look like?” Do we meet the Mother? Does he finally make it back to his home planet? What does that look like HERE?

In all, there are no real broad strokes for NBC as the season kicks off, as they’re saving a lot for midseason, including new shows Council of Dads, The Kenan Show, Indebted, Lincoln, and Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. With this in mind, they’re playing it safe for fall, but will likely have a bold midseason strategy in order to launch all those shows, as well as bring back returning things like Good Girls, Will & Grace, and Manifest. AS always, NBC got to debut their schedule first, so they become the ones everyone else is compared to. With powerhouses like The Voice and This Is Us, I don’t really see them making any moves that indicate fear on their part. They’re confident in their shows, and the lack of big moves shows this.

FOX

Prodigal SonMonday 9:00 PM

I know I say this a lot, every year, but they just keep proving me right: this is the kind of show FOX picks up merely to cancel. I mean, it’s from Greg Berlanti, so they’ll probably give it more of a chance than most shows, plus folks love Michael Sheen. That said, I’m not sure if 9-1-1 is the best lead-in, even if it does provide decent counterprogramming to reality fare like Dancing with the Stars and The Voice, which will air at the same time. I probably would’ve held this one til midseason, when these sorts of shows generally debut. This makes me feel like FOX didn’t have a deep drama bench this year. Anyway, I won’t watch it, but I know there’s an audience for it out there.

Not Just MeWednesday 9:00 PM

Based on the Australian show Sisters, this is FOX coming late to the This Is Us game – fitting, since Friday Night Lights/Parenthood creator Jason Katims is one of the executive producers. Brittany Snow works for her father, a demanding infertility doctor played by Timothy Hutton. Well, her world comes crashing down when it’s revealed that Hutton was using his own sperm to impregnate women. So now Snow has instant siblings, including Vixen from Legends of Tomorrow and Haley Joel Osment’s sister. I’m gonna go out on a limb here, so I hope you can follow me: this is an NBC show run through a FOX filter, with FOX cast and budget. This show has no place on this network, even though it’s obvious why they’d want it. It’s being given the time slot following The Masked Singer, which was a surprisingly massive hit for FOX, so they definitely have faith in it. Still, I don’t know if that’s the most appropriate lead-in, nor do I know if the audience for this show will find it.


Bless The Harts – Sunday 8:30 PM

OK, so I’ve got some gripes about FOX’s Sunday night schedule, and this seems like the best place for it. First of all, Animation Domination hasn’t been around 30 years. It’s been around about 15, so that’s a slap in the face to all the live action shows that failed on the night over the past 30 years. And there have been A LOT of them! Also, in order to add this to the schedule, they’ve “promoted” Bob’s Burgers to 9, and given Family Guy the ghetto, this is where shows go to die, 9:30 slot. I only see this as a temporary move, though, as this show won’t last.

Animation Domination has been dominated by The Simpsons and Family Guy. Sure, Bob came along and has held his own, but let’s not forget all the others that could not, like Bordertown, Allen Gregory, Son of Zorn and The Cleveland Show. I like the title here, as it’s a play on “Bless your heart”, which is the treacly Southern way of basically saying, “Well, aren’t you a sad little piece of shit?” It’s also got a great cast, with Wiig, Rudolph, and more. Still, I HATE the animation style. THIS should be the 9:30 show, and not Family Guy. But this will all be rectified when Bless gets canceled. Because it WILL be canceled.

DeputyMidseason

Now, THIS is a FOX SHOW. I can only assume that it wasn’t ready for a Fall debut, as this is what should be paired with 9-1-1 and not Prodigal Son. If they’ve got anyone smart in scheduling, it’ll be paired with the forthcoming 9-1-1: Lone Star, starring Rob Lowe. Hell, I might even watch this thing.

Now, just because it’s a “FOX Show” doesn’t mean it can’t be canceled. The odds are still against it, but they needed a kickass law show to fill the void left by the corpse-isn’t-cold-yet Lethal Weapon, but I’m very intrigued to see where this goes. At the same time, I could also see this appealing to the crowd that has those “Don’t Tread On Me” license plates. This is a lawman, who only cares about justice. By season 2, he’ll be taking on illlegals, and then it’s gonna be a shitshow.

Filthy RichMidseason

Since the sale of the non-network assets to Disney, it seems like FOX is doubling down on what makes them FOX. I just don’t know why they’re saving their best stuff for midseason. Just like Deputy, this is a natural fit for the network. Before I even saw the executive producers, I said “This is White Empire“, and that’s exactly what it is. I want to say I’ll watch the Hell out of this show, but I also know that these things get pretty over-the-top quickly, and I’ll be burnt out by season 3. Knowing how Fox schedules, it’ll probably be scheduled during Empire’s Winter hiatus, but I’d kinda like them on at the same time. Show the nation that both Black and White rich folks can be just as trifling.

neXtMidseason

Damn, midseason FOX is KILLING IT! I love Roger Sterling in anything, but he’s taking on evil Alexa?! Sounds like somebody’s been watching Black Mirror. The thing I love about this, though, is it’s an “event series”. That means it’s contained – probably about 10 episodes – and if it fails, it can just be a One & Done. If it succeeds, then they’re gonna have to figure out how to make Alexa even more evil for a second season. Or maybe he’ll take on Ring doorbells or something. I am ALL IN for this one.

OutmatchedMidseason

I feel like this show was D.O.A. the minute Biggs was attached to star in it. Doubly so when Maggie Lawson was added, ’cause she can’t catch a post-Psych break. This feels like Andy Richter’s FOX sitcom Quintuplets all over again, only it’s 4 kids instead of 5. Even with the “3 of them are geniuses” angle, it’s still the same “Oh my God, the kids are taking over and we’re outnumbered” premise. Still, it’s fairly obvious that it’ll end up wherever FOX puts Last Man Standing, since Friday belongs to WWE SmackDown this fall. Paired with that show it might do OK, but I see this as a One & Done.

Looking at their Fall schedule, the boldest move FOX made was moving Empire to Tuesdays, leading out of The Resident. That’s a terrible pairing, but it was also announced that this would be Empire‘s final season, so it’s not like they really care at this point. It’s a lame duck, with no aims at a renewal, so it’ll do what it does, and that’ll be it. In the end I’m not so excited about their fall schedule, but I CAN’T WAIT for midseason.

ABC

EmergenceTuesday 10:00 PM

So, in a weird, last minute upfronts move NBC passed on this and ABC swooped it right up. It’s probably for the best, as I can’t really see this on NBC. Still, ABC has tried this exact same show every Fall since Lost ended and it never works. This is one of the rare times when it’s a female protagonist (which ABC does well) instead of a schlub like Steve Zahn, but I don’t see this show lasting long enough to solve its core mystery. If they had somehow shoehorned it into TGIT, it would’ve given it a boost, but instead it’s getting the Tuesday Night Death Slot, which is being vacated by The Rookie. I just don’t see this one working.

mixed-ishTuesday 9:00 PM

Somewhere along the line, ABC said “Screw the present – we’re gonna tell a coming of age tale from every decade prior.” The Goldbergs gave us the 80s, Fresh Off the Boat gave us the 90s, and The Kids Are Alright tried to give us the 70s. Well, they’re mixing recipes from two of their biggest current shows: The Goldbergs and black-ish, and taking us back to the 80s for mixed-ish. I feel like this probably came out of the contract negotiations with Tracee Ellis Ross, as she was about to walk off the show a few years back, citing the fact that she made considerably less than costar Anthony Anderson. It was pointed out that he was an executive producer on the show, so that’s why he made more. So, now she has her own spinoff. Sure, it’s something of the Young Sheldon model (make a prequel to your aging hit to stave off having to replace it any time soon), but it works. I’m actually really looking forward to this – moreso than grown-ish, for which I’ve never seen an episode, as I don’t know what channel Freeform is on my cable service. Perhaps I’ll get an email about it when I get my period. Anyway, I like the chances on this one, and it serves as the lead-in to black-ish on Tuesdays, so it’s good they’re not splitting up the family, so to speak.


StumptownWednesday 10:00 PM

Personal story time: so, back when I worked at Diamond, one of the accounts I managed was Oni Comics, who would go on to publish the Stumptown comic on which this show is based. When I left the job, Oni was nice enough to keep my on their comp list for a few years, so I could stay in the loop of what they were doing. In the tail end of that arrangement, before I was unceremoniously removed from said list, I was sent the first issue of Stumptown, and was immediately drawn to it. It’s got a strong female protagonist, which you kinda come to expect from creator Greg Rucka, and it was reminiscent of the best parts of Alias, the Brian Michael Bendis comic that introduced Jessica Jones. Dex, like Jessica, is a flawed character, who’s just trying to get by. She’s a relatable character who’s easy to root for. So, needless to say, I’m very excited about this show. Add in that it stars Cobie Smulders, whom I’ve loved since How I Met Your Mother, and I think you’ve got a winner. I don’t know if the audience will love this show, but I’m definitely rooting for it, and hope to tune in every chance I get.

As far as scheduling goes, ABC is playing it pretty safe, with only two notable moves: American Housewife moves to their sad excuse for TGIF (it’s unclear if they’re still using that branding this season), while The Rookie moves to Sunday night. In a somewhat puzzling move, ABC ordered a reboot of Kids Say The Darnedest Things, hosted by…Tiffany Haddish? I remember when everyone was eager to get on Oscar Isaac’s jock, and look where that got us. This feels like that, all over again. Companies’ desire to get into the Tiffany Haddish Business has her getting jobs that aren’t necessarily the right fit (see: The LEGO Movie 2). I just don’t know how you take a show, last hosted by Bill Cosby, and immediately think “Tiffany Haddish!” Does she even LIKE kids? They’re saving some of their heavier hitters, like American Idol, The Bachelor, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for midseason, so their fall is rather tame.

CBS

There was a lot of drama with the CBS dramas as we headed into Upfronts week. First, it was announced that Bull had been renewed for a 4th season, leading Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment to cut ties with the show due to the #MeToo accusations against star Michael Weatherly. Then, it was announced that the upcoming sixth season of Madam Secretary would be its last. Still, the network had some new shows to debut, as well as some high profile moves to announce.

All RiseMonday 9:00 PM

I’ll give CBS credit for their recent diversity push, as they’re trying and it shows. That said, a Black woman leading a legal drama has ABC written all over it, so I wonder how this ended up at CBS. It doesn’t look salacious enough to have joined the TGIT lineup, so maybe that explains how it got here. Still, I see CBS is doing the divide and conquer to get the Black audience as this is counterprogramming to Black Lightning over on The CW. I like this kind of show because it’s not trying to do too much. It’s not exactly high concept. If it finds an audience, a show like this could last 10 years. Will it? Time will tell.

Bob Hearts AbisholaMonday 8:30 PM

This is cute, and it might do well paired with The Neighborhood. It’s like Chuck Lorre looked back on Mike & Molly, and realized some of the best scenes were when Billy Gardell interacted with Black folks – one of whom was African. I always felt kinda bad for Gardell, as Melissa McCarthy’s star kept rising while the show went on, and the focus ended up more on her. He seems like a good dude, so I’d like to see him with another series. I just don’t know if this is it. This would make a cute rom-com, but a 22-episode sitcom? Do I really feel like watching their romance unfold? I might binge it, like I did The Neighborhood, but I don’t see this as weekly, destination television. Maybe I’ll be surprised, though.

Carol’s Second ActThursday 9:30

I’m just gonna ask it: Does Patricia Heaton really need money? I mean, does she have a drug problem or a gambling addiction? She had a successful long run on Everybody Loves Raymond, followed by another successful long run on The Middle. She’s had to have made millions – a good portion of which she’s used to fund Republican efforts (you can thank her for shit like Alabama). Anyway, if she’s looking for the triple crown, she’s out of luck, because this looks terrible. The supporting cast isn’t dynamic, and the “Hey, she’s an old intern” joke is gonna get old halfway through the premiere. Even with a plum spot after Mom, this won’t work. Maybe when this fails, she’ll finally go sit down somewhere and rest.

EVILThursday 10:00 PM

So, is this a commercial for the Catholic Church, or was it made in spite of them? It’s basically The X-Files meets The Exorcist, but maybe you can eke two or three seasons out of it. Nice to see Mike Colter bounced back from the cancellation of Luke Cage rather quickly. This is the kind of show that would go either way on FOX. Not too sure how CBS is gonna handle it, though. I’ll bet it has a really strong pilot, but then settles into a procedural rather quickly. People seem to think CBS is an older audience, closer to both God and death. Will they cotton to something of this ilk? I’m not so sure.

The UnicornThursday 8:30 PM

Ya know, with the exception of Young Sheldon, CBS hasn’t really figured out how to crack that single cam comedy nut. Sure, Life In Pieces got 4 seasons, but they never knew what to do with it, as it didn’t fit the rest of their multi cam schedule (for those not in the know, single cam is like Modern Family, with no studio audience. Multi cam is the opposite, or the “typical” sitcom that folks are used to seeing). I’ve also got an issue with the casting. Folks love Walton Goggins, but they love to HATE him. He’s everyone’s favorite villain. He’s not beloved family man. Now, maybe he’s trying to show he has range, but I can think of a list of other folks who could’ve fit this role (starting with Nat Faxon). Part of me wonders if Rob Corddry and Omar Benson Miller auditioned for this show on their lunch break from Ballers. Anyway, I don’t see this one as a hit. Sorry, Walton.

BrokeMidseason

THIS is a CBS sitcom: multi cam, a familiar CBS star in Pauley Perrette, and a snarky butler, a la The Nanny. This show will last, at least, 5 years. Mark my words. If they hurry up and cancel Carol’s Second Act, this would be perfect paired with Mom. As much as I have loathed Natasha Leggero’s “rich bitch” caricature from her stand-up, it works here. I just hope she tones it down a bit after the pilot.

FBI: Most WantedMidseason

Julian McMahon is an odd choice to lead this show, but so was Missy Peregrym when she was cast to lead the main FBI. I do, however, feel like it’s a bit early for spinoffs, seeing as how this season was FBI‘s first, and there was a tumultuous situation behind the scenes as the showrunners kept changing. Still, this team was introduced, in CBS fashion, via a backdoor pilot on FBI this season, and it must have tested well, ’cause here’s a show for them. This could go either way. It’s pretty common for CBS to build franchises, as CSI, Criminal Minds, and NCIS showed us. That said, they aren’t always successful, as CSI: Cyber and Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders showed us. So, this is something of a gamble that might pay off. We’ll just have to see where it lands.

TommyMidseason

Now, THIS feels like a TGIT show, which makes me wonder how ABC missed out on it. Edie Falco seems like she’s channeling Cathy Lanier, who was the DC Chief of Police until she left to work for the NFL. As I said above, ABC is the Strong Woman Protagonist network, so I don’t know if CBS knows how to handle something like this. Still, if paired with a show like All Rise or Madam Secretary, it might just find its audience.

Like the other networks, CBS is playing it safe for the fall. The biggest move I can see is they moved Magnum P.I. to Friday, while holding MacGyver to midseason. Like FOX, I don’t know if they’ll really shine til midseason, and I see Broke as their breakout hit of the season.

The CW

BatwomanSunday 8:00 PM

So, it happened pretty gradually, but The CW has basically positioned itself as FreeForm for Poor People. Basically, if you can’t afford cable, here’s where you can get your teen drama fix. It’s something of a smart play, even if it’s not that daring. At this point, 75% of the network’s fare is either comic book adaptations or reboots of older WB shows. They learned what worked for them, and they went ALL IN. Which brings me to Batwoman. I fell off the Arrowverse shows last season because kids, but if Gotham lasted as long as it did on FOX, this show will last until its stars are begging to be let out of their contracts. I see no reason this won’t get succeed. Why? Well, for starters, The CW cancelled NOTHING this season, proving they didn’t have a deep pilot bench. Also, they’re losing Supernatural and Arrow by the end of the 19-20 season, so all Ruby Rose has to do is not get caught up in some kind of scandal, and she’ll have gainful employment for years to come. It’s paired up with Supergirl on Sunday night, which will probably be packaged as some night of “Girl Power”, but I expect that to change when midseason hits.

Nancy DrewWednesday 9:00 PM 

This ain’t your mom’s Nancy Drew! Forget the book series, as this is basically Veronica Mars by way of Riverdale – fitting, since Riverdale will serve as it’s lead-in. Besides the interracial lovin’, I don’t really have much to say about this ’cause I’m not a 15 year old girl. It’ll probably find its audience, and it has a great timeslot. Still, it’s just more Poor People FreeForm.

Speaking of Riverdale, here’s a direct spinoff of the show (and not one of those, “Well, maybe it’s in the same universe” deals like The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina over on Netflix). I’ve never seen an episode of Riverdale, so I don’t know how prominent a character Katy Keene was. It’s pretty cool that Josie’s a character over there, though. I want to say it’ll be a success, but I’m getting the same vibe from it that I got from that Sex and the City prequel The Carrie Diaries, and that show didn’t last too long.

I don’t have a ton to say about The CW’s schedule. It’s nice to see Arrow and The Flash reunited on Tuesday night. I also notice it’s a shame the network, like FOX, only programs 2 hours a night, as it could really benefit from a 3-hour model in some places. For example, Charmed is a horrible lead-in for Dynasty, and would be better suited rounding out Wednesday with Riverdale and Nancy Drew, or even Thursday with Supernatural and Legacies. It lost its Sunday perch to Batwoman, and now it’s the odd show out. They probably should’ve held it to midseason, so it could be paired with Roswell, New Mexico.

To do your own comparison, here’s the Fall 2019 schedule grid, courtesy TVLine.com

Trailer Park

BH90210 (FOX)

I still don’t know what to make of this mockumentary of the original 90210 cast pitching a reboot of the series, but I guess we’ll find out when it premieres August 7th. Apparently, there’s already trouble in paradise, as there’s a new showrunner coming on board, and several writers have departed the show. My only takeaway from this trailer is that Gabrielle Carteris is old as Hell! I mean, I always knew she was the oldest, but DAMN… Part of me feels like Luke wouldn’t have done this even had he not died, but at least they have an “excuse” for his absence now.

Party of Five (FreeForm)

I’ve mentioned FreeForm so much this week that they owe me a check. Anyway, they’re the home of the reboot of 90s FOX hit Party of Five, which introduced the world to Jennifer Love Hewitt, Matthew Fox, Neve Campbell, and Lacey Chabert ( I feel like Scott Wolf had done something prior, but I could be wrong). In this version, however, the focus is on a Latino family and, instead of the parents dying in a car accident, they’re deported back to Mexico. So, the older brother has to raise his siblings who are left behind. This is pretty “ripped from the headlines”, so it is certainly pressing a hot button issue. I don’t know much about FreeForm’s audience, though, so will they flock to it? Guess we’ll have to see. I really hope the theme song is The BoDeans’ “Closer to Free”, but sung by a Mariachi band.

Chad (TBS)

Who allowed this?! Who sees someone as hot as Nasim Pedrad and says “Yeah, let’s make her a 14 year old boy”? Oh, I guess Nasim, as she’s the one who created this show. It’s on TBS, so it’ll probably get 2 seasons (Hell, Wrecked got that), but I wouldn’t expect much more out of it.

Always Be My Maybe (Netflix)

I love everyone in this, AND I don’t have to leave home to see it? SCORE!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Not Spoon! but rather Fork! as Amazon has canceled The Tick after 2 seasons.
  • Well, congratulations to everyone on Fresh Off the Boat, ’cause this is either your last season or they’re gonna “Hogan Family” your mom. This comes after star Constance Wu posted an expletive-laden reaction on social media to news that the show had been renewed as, she says, it meant she had to give up another opportunity for which she had been excited. It was a messy few days, and I’m sure things will be chilly on set for a bit, as it was a bit of a slap in the face to her costars and crew.
  • Though originally developed for TNT, it was announced that the Snowpiercer series will be moving to TBS. It’s also been renewed for a second season prior to a single episode even airing.
  • The Christian Right lost their shit when it an episode of PBS series Arthur featured Mr. Ratburn marrying his male partner.

  • In anticipation of the release of Rocketman, Elton John and star Taron Egerton released the new song “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again”. I love Elton to death, but this one doesn’t do much for me. Maybe it’ll grow on me.
  • Marvel Comics announced the upcoming release of Marvel Comics #1000, a special book that will feature one-page comics from some of their biggest creators to commemorate Marvel’s 80th anniversary. Seeing as how it’s a $10 book that will be in dollar bins by next summer, I can wait.
  • The Big Bang Theory capped off a 12(!) season run last night, airing its final episode. I know most of you hate it, but there are millions and millions of folks who enjoyed it and will miss the show. While I fell off in the past season, I count myself among that number.
  • Some outlets are reporting that Twilight‘s Robert Pattinson will be the next Batman, while others are saying that X-Men‘s Nicholas Hoult is still in the running. Personally, I’m holding out for Hoult.

Since this is the Upfronts post, I usually pick the network that I feel had the best presentation and schedule. While nobody has me jazzed for Fall, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jonseing for FOX’s midseason schedule. Despite the future failure known as Outmatched, the dramas they have lined up look like they’re firing on all cylinders. Usually ABC or NBC walk away with the crown, but I feel FOX shows the most promise for the overall season, and that’s why they had the West Week Ever.

05th Apr2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 4/5/19

by Will

I took last week off, and the week before was a Thrift Justice, so I guess we’ve got a bit to cover, huh?

So a couple of weeks back, there was hubbub from a screening where Zack Snyder sort of kirked out and implied that anyone who expected a character not to kill was living in a fantasy world. Yeah, I’ve got to disagree with that.

First off, there’s a danger in applying real world politics to comics because, at the end of the day, comics are just what my friend James calls “White Male Power Fantasies”. They exist in a theoretical vacuum, so the minute you try to say “Look at the world around us! How would Batman interact HERE?” you’ve already broken the rules.

To think Batman should kill is a gross misunderstanding of what Batman is about.

Ya know, just because Keaton did it in Batman (1989) doesn’t make it *right*. Burton was railing against the most recent depiction of Batman at the time, which had been the ’66 Batman. So, he kinda went to extremes. Now, I wasn’t in theaters in 1989, but I still knew it was messed up when I eventually saw the movie on VHS. Keaton doing it doesn’t mean that Affleck can do it.

To think “Batman should kill. So effing what?” is a such a binary way of looking at things. You all feel he either should or shouldn’t do it, without factoring in the gray area where some outcomes are worse than death. Part of the thing about Batman is the power given to him by his urban legend status. He doesn’t HAVE to kill, because there are enough two-bit hoods out there telling folks they’ve seen him kill. Meanwhile, because of this storytelling, you never quite know WHAT you’re going to face if you even encounter him. And sure, he probably WON’T kill you, but he’ll make it so you walk with a limp for the rest of your life or can’t feel your right arm any more.

Also, let’s think of some other ramifications. If Batman were to kill, that would be terribly taxing on his relationship with the GCPD, who pretty much allow him to operate on their behalf. Sure, real world cops kill people all the time – in a lot of cases where it seems senseless but, again, you can’t “real world” this stuff.

Oh, and if Batman killed, then that would be the end of the villains you love so much. “Why doesn’t Batman kill the Joker?” Probably because that would be the end of the Joker, and all storytelling regarding him. These are the same people who are mad at Peter Quill for screwing up the fight against Thanos. Um, they have an entirely separate movie to pad out so, no, they couldn’t allow Thanos’ defeat that easily. Sometimes you just have to think of the business aspect of things. Companies need you to come back every month, so how are they going to build any sort of drama or suspense, if you just know he’ll mow down that month’s villain, and then do the same to whomever pops up next month? You don’t want Batman. You want The Punisher.

For Batman to kill would make him no better than his rogues gallery, so who’s the “hero” in that case? These were originally considered aspirational characters in certain aspects. Sure, your parents may not get gunned down in an alley leaving you millions, but if life deals you a bad hand, you make the most of it and don’t just go out murdering people. Because that’s what that would be: murder. Now, there’s the argument that maybe he kills in self defense. Maybe, but he’s also been written as such a skilled tactician that it should/would never get to that point. I will say, though, there is a difference between killing and letting someone die. Take Batman Begins, for instance. He doesn’t kills Ra’s, but he sure as Hell doesn’t save him, either. I do think Batman would do that.

I know there are a bunch of y’all who grew up at a certain time, thinking Burton is gospel, but this is the same incarnation that says Joker killed Bruce Wayne’s parents. Sure the movies have shown us a Batman who kills because they wanna be edgelords, but at the end of the day, BATMAN DOESN’T KILL.

I’m about 2 years behind, but I binged the Dirty John podcast a few weeks ago, and now I want to talk about it with someone – primarily the fact that I don’t believe it. I mean, sure, it’s based on a true story, but that finale was so far-fetched that even Uwe Boll is somewhere saying “Yeah, I’m not sure if that’s believable.”

If you’re not familiar, Dirty John recounts the story of John Meehan – a con man with a history of wooing women and then taking them for all they had. Based on reporting from The Los Angeles Times, the podcast focuses primarily on Meehan’s relationship with successful interior designer Debra Newell, and how he basically psychologically abused her, while forcing her to alienate anyone in her family who he didn’t like. It’s a whirlwind courtship, followed by a quickie Vegas wedding, and then the craziness starts. Newell realizes that she doesn’t truly know the man she married, and begins to fear for her safety, as well as the safety of her loved ones.

I know there’s an adaptation on Bravo, starring Connie Britton, right now and, while I’m curious to see them reenact a lot of this stuff, I think I’ll just wait until it’s done to binge it at once. And I really hope they don’t try to make a season 2, because HOW? Then again, based on the ending of the podcast, I could see it and it wouldn’t be any less credible than that.

The always wonderful John Oliver devoted this week’s episode of Last Week Tonight to the working conditions in the WWE. If you didn’t know, wrestler’s contracts are structured where they are considered “independent contractors”, so they’re responsible for their own health insurance, while the company only covers injuries that occur in the ring. I’ve heard of stories where a wrestler might have a motorcycle accident over the weekend, but drag himself to work so that he can claim the injury happened in-ring just so it’ll be covered. This sort of thing might have flown back in the carny days of wrestling, but WWE is a billion dollar corporation, so this is pretty unacceptable. Past attempts by wrestlers to unionize haven’t gone anywhere, but Oliver points out that Vince McMahon does listen to the fans – the WWE Universe – so if there’s enough pressure from them, then things might change.

So, some interesting stuff is going in the world of music, as Lil Nas X went to #1 on the country charts with “Old Town Road”. The problem, however, is that many consider it a rap song instead of a country song, despite it having “country elements” as well as subject matter. So, after some outcry from labels, the song was removed from the charts.

Well, not to be outdone, Lil Nas X re-released the song last night, with an assist from Billy Ray Cyrus, who’s always down to make some coin. And the result still isn’t anywhere near as embarrassing as “Accidental Racist“.

I mean, I get it, but there does seem to be some shady stuff going on here to get it removed from the chart. And most folks are saying it’s based on race. It’s not easy for a Black man to chart in country music, as it’s still a recent phenomenon thanks to Darius Rucker and Jimmie Allen. Also, if you listen to anything by Sam Hunt or the Jason Aldean’s “Dirt Road Anthem“, and you’ll hear that country has been biting hip hop beats for quite some time.

On the flip side, I don’t feel like this was a genuine effort. I mean, for one, the thing is about 2 minutes long. That’s not a song. That’s a snippet. Plus, what Lil Nas X did here was spit in the eye of the country music establishment. It’s not common knowledge to folks who don’t follow the industry, but country radio charts kinda come down to whose “turn” it is. Labels get together and sort that shit out instead of it actually being based on sales or anything. They’ll say “Well, it’s Blake’s turn”, so stations will follow suit and increase the number of spins that Blake Shelton gets that week, and voila #1. Then, the next week, it’ll be Jimmie’s turn. This is why nothing on the country charts sits like songs do on pop charts. You get your week and then you’re cycled out for someone else, which is why charting means SO much less in country. It means you got the seal of approval from the industry, but it’s not reflective of public opinion. It’s simply the labels telling you who they’re backing.

Since nobody actually cares about charts, this was just a publicity stunt, and a damn good one. I say let the song stay. Think of all the flukes and garbage that has made it to #1. Just let it go ’cause there’ll be a new Florida-Georgia Line single up there in about 3 weeks, and nobody will even remember this.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • John Cho has been cast as Spike Spiegel in Netflix’s adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. I still think it should’ve gone to Ben Schwartz, but I don’t hate this.
  • Since the Disney acquisition of Fox, there are rumors that Disney might be in talks to revive the failed baseball series Pitch in an attempt to keep creator Dan Fogelman from jumping ship when his contract is up. Oh, I should mention that Fogelman also created the smash hit This Is Us, which is why folks would want to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.
  • Emily Bett Rickards announced that she’ll be leaving Arrow prior to its truncated final season, leading me to wonder “WHY?” She couldn’t hang on for 10 episodes? Is she THAT eager to jump back into pilot season?
  • Speaking of The CW, Lucifer finally decided to come collect the souls of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, as Supernatural will finally end after its 15th season. Don’t cry for these guys, though. They’ve got a long future of MonsterMania and other assorted pop culture conventions ahead of them – which I’m sure is their own personal version of Hell.

There’s nothing quite like going into a movie with ZERO expectations, but that’s exactly what I did last night with SHAZAM! While a lot of folks have already written off the DC movies, I’m still willing to give them a shot. I know almost nothing about the Fawcett/DC Captain Marvel, and most of what I know is from Geoff Johns’s New 52 reboot of the character – which old time fans tell me is something of a travesty. Still, Johns has rarely steered me wrong, and I actually enjoyed what he was doing with the character. It was originally presented in back-up stories in the relaunched Justice League, but then the books hit the “Throne of Atlantis” storyline, and I stopped reading for whatever reason. So I never did see the tail end of what he was doing there. So, without too much continuity and prior knowledge to bog me down, I went into the theater last night not really knowing what I was about to see. And I am SO glad that I did. I REALLY enjoyed the film, and I think it’s more of a course correction for DC than Wonder Woman was.

If you’re not familiar, this take on the character is basically a superhero adaptation of the Tom Hanks classic Big (there’s even a call-out to the most famous scene from that movie). Fourteen year old Billy Batson encounters the wizard SHAZAM, who bestows his powers upon Billy once he says the wizard’s name aloud. He gains a different power from each of the gods. Flight from Socrates, Strength from Hephaestus. Electricity from Aesop, Anger from Zeus, Speed from Archibald, and Punching from Michael. Yeah, clearly I don’t know the pantheon nor do I know his entire power set. It don’t matter – ain’t nobody got time for that! He gets his magic from a wizard, says a magic word, and changes from Boy to Man. A Super Man (but not THE Superman. Yeah, they’ve already been to court about that). Meanwhile, the evil Dr. Sivana had been considered to assume the wizard’s power when he was a boy, but was deemed unworthy, so he’s spent his life and fortune trying to find a way to rectify that situation.

This story plays out over a backdrop showcasing the current foster parent situation in the country. Billy is taken into a group home, run by a married couple of former foster kids, filled with 5 other foster kids. There’s smart ass Freddy, adorable Darla, quiet Pedro, that kid from Fresh Off the Boat Eugene, and the pretty pretty Mary. It deals with what the notions of “home” and “family” mean to Billy, as he hasn’t been able to stay anywhere due to his unending search for his mother. Plus, just as American Pie introduced us to the MILF, Showtime introduced us to the SMILF, this film introduces us to the FMILF (*chef’s finger kiss*).

The thing I loved about the film is that it really doesn’t waste a lot of time world-building. It might be in the DCEU and it might not. There are signs that it could be, but they don’t beat you over the head with them. It’s a movie that pretty much gets in and out. Sure, there’s the obligatory stinger to tease a sequel that may or may not happen, but it didn’t exactly get me excited or anything. I’d be happy for this to just be a one-shot kind of deal, but Hollywood likes money, so it’ll probably, unwisely, become a franchise.

I was surprised by the level of violence in the film. From a special effects standpoint, I feel like the designers took a lot of visual cues from Infinity War, as the Thanos Snap “dusting” effect was employed quite a bit, while the embodiment of the 7 Deadly Sins looked a lot like Cull Obsidian. Still, even though it’s a fun movie about “family”, I don’t know if you want to take young kids, ’cause those monsters…WOW.

Did it have problems? Sure. Like most DC movies, it had a weak 3rd act. I didn’t even realize it was over when it was actually over. It went to the next scene, and you’re like “Oh. Oh, so that was it?” I’m also not sold on Zachary Levi as Captain Marvel. Maybe that’s part of the character, that he’s always 14 years old inside, but I didn’t feel like he ever really became a hero. He was a guy who did heroic things, but – at his core – was a HERO? Even by the end, I wasn’t too sure. He spends a good chunk of the movie Tony Starking: cleaning up problems that were of his own making.

My biggest issue with Levi, though, concerns the potential sequel that would most likely feature Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Captain Marvel’s nemesis, Black Adam. If you don’t remember, Warner Bros announced a Black Adam film WAY before they started any of this other stuff. Before Aquaman, Wonder Woman, or even Justice League had filmed, Black Adam was on the schedule because they wanted in on that hot D.J. action. The problem I had with it then is even exacerbated now that he’s MUCH more famous than he was when that deal was signed: NOBODY has the charisma to go toe to toe with him, especially with him in a villainous role.

Black Adam in the comics, especially around the time of Infinite Crisis, tended to go back and forth between villainy and being on the side of angels. He’s basically DC’s Namor. He’s on whichever side suits him best at the time. So, it’s unclear which side he would’ve been on for Johnson’s movie, though it was uncharacteristic at the time for DC to center movies around villains (that has since changed, as we saw from this week’s teaser for The Joker). SHAZAM!, however, not only sets up Black Adam as a villain, but states that he was a “mistake” made by the wizards when choosing a champion. He’s apparently still out there, so he’d likely butt heads with Levi’s Captain Marvel. My question is this: Is the audience prepared to accept The Rock as a villain, and actively cheer against him in favor of Levi’s Captain Marvel? I’m not so sure, which is probably what has held up the project for so long (though they always say it’s due to “scheduling conflicts”. The man makes a movie every 6 weeks, so I hardly believe that).

All that aside, I had a lot of fun with this movie. It’s highly entertaining and might be my favorite DC movie from their modern slate (NOTE: I have yet to see Aquaman. “Scheduling conflicts”). If DC continues just focusing on character instead of world-building, they might be on to something. There’s no need to try to follow the MCU formula, especially when there are other options. It’s got something for everyone, and even a little bit of representation snuck in there that I can’t say more about without spoiling the 3rd act. SHAZAM! was a great way to end the week, which is why it had the West Week Ever.

 

22nd Mar2019

Thrift Justice – Physical Education

by Will

I swear, I’ll eventually get back to pop culture ephemera and old toys, but I’ve spent so much time taking in physical media “strays” that I still have some stuff to say on the matter. I know folks love seeing crazy “Oh my gosh! Can you believe it?!” stuff, but I also know folks like to see complete busts, because it’s 2019 and schadenfreude rules the day! Here’s a situation that falls somewhere in the middle.

While I pick up a lot of stuff from thrift stores, during my Thrift Justice posting break, I adopted a new approach, where I scour yard sale apps for deals. I mean SCOUR! You know how folks spend a ton of time on Twitter or Instagram? That’s me on Facebook Marketplace. My wife says that I have an addiction, but I don’t think I’d ever perform oral sex on a stranger in a dark alley for any of this stuff. THAT’s addiction! So, to her, I say “Whatever”.

I already explained my strategy last time, so you should now be familiar with the stuff that I feel looks promising and what kind of stuff I’d pass on. Let’s talk about a recent example, where I initially passed, eventually caved, and then learned a valuable lesson.

I saw these pics on OfferUp a few weeks ago, and there was some pretty interesting stuff there. Just at a glance, you see the complete Six Feet Under, the complete Sex and the City, the complete 24, most of Nip/Tuck, and some Star Trek: Voyager seasons sticking out here and there. Not a bad lot. The bad thing, however, is that this fool wanted $200 for everything. Yeah, unless your name is Samuel J. Goody, you have no right asking for that kind of money for this – especially when it’s all used. Here’s the thing, though: with all the stuff I listed, it was definitely WORTH $200, but here’s where psychology comes into play: This is a great profit for a reseller, but it’s a terrible price for a reseller to PAY.

If you’ve watched American Pickers, or any show like that, you know that you’ve got to be able to make some money on your acquisitions. There needs to be “meat on the bone”. There’s not a lot of meat on that bone at $200. A used complete series of most television shows is in the neighborhood of $30-40. You can get a bit more if it’s out of print (For example, the season 1 & 2 set for California Dreams will still net you about $40 by itself. No such thing as a complete run, as they never released the final season. Not even in one of those on demand programs). Keep in mind, though, the series needs to have at least 5 seasons. Don’t expect to make any money off Da Ali G Show or something like that (for example, Chappelle’s Show is borderline worthless because everyone owned it at some point. They might as well have given it out at stoplights). So, just looking at the series I mentioned above, that’s a good $150-200 right there, and those were just a fraction of what I saw.

I saw the listing, but it was too rich for my blood, so I passed on it. I knew he was never gonna sell it at $200, though, and that was proven by how it just sat for weeks. So, I wasn’t surprised when one night I noticed he’d slashed the price to $50. Now we were in business! I messaged him, but we were also in the middle of a snowstorm and my car was in the shop. I wasn’t gonna miss out on dis bitch, tho!

I manage to get over to my mother’s house, and steal her car while she’s still asleep (CRIME!). I drive down to the guy’s apartment, which is in complete disarray. Ya see, he’s actually moving to Richmond that day, which is the reason for his desperation price drop. He can’t take the stuff with him, so he dropped it to fire sale prices. There are boxes everywhere, as he’s waiting for the movers to come. Still, on the far wall, I see that familiar media case, with the Star Trek: Voyager sets on it. He’s out of boxes by this point, and apparently expected me to bring my own. I did not, so he hands me some garbage bags. And I start bagging. He tells me that everything on this side of the apartment is up for grabs, ’cause it’s not coming with him. I don’t know if that means I’ve got to pay more or that he’s throwing it in with the DVDs. We’ll come back to that.

As I’m bagging, I’m kinda overwhelmed by everything he has. I mean, for one thing, there are about 25 travel DVDs and Blu Rays. I don’t even know who would watch those things, and he clearly wasn’t the type, as none of them had been opened. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they’re the kind of video you’d play for ambiance if you ran a nail salon. Top 10 National Parks and Europe In A Day. Stuff like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that 24 season 7 is on the floor, off to the side of the case. I didn’t think much of it, as the rest of the series was in one of my trash bags, so I just grabbed it and threw it in.

He also had quite a few collections from motivational speaker Anthony Robbins, and I wasn’t sure if they were included in the sale. I’ve had a strange fascination with Tony Robbins over the years (Does that stuff really work?), but I knew I probably couldn’t sell it, ’cause that Guthy-Renker/BeachBody infomercial stuff is always covered by copyrights that can get your eBay account deleted. Anyway, I said “Screw it”, and threw them in the bag, as well.

As I’m shoveling stuff into bags, I start to notice all the stuff I hadn’t been able to see in the pics on the app. For one, dude really loves musicals. And the Royal Family. So, if I had to do a sidewalk assessment of the guy, I’m picking up “gay man who learned to love himself through the power of Tony Robbins”. I start looking at other stuff over on the side, but nothing really catches my eye other than 2 things: a new Xbox One remote/keyboard, and a new pair of furniture covers to protect your couches from pets. You see, we were headed to Richmond that afternoon to go check out the dog that would eventually become ours. Oh, I haven’t mentioned we have a dog now? Yeah, he shits in the house and terrorizes the children. I’m not a fan right now. Anyway, I knew I didn’t want this potential dog messing up my furniture so I grabbed those covers. I had already thrown the Xbox remote into one of the bags, but I actually showed the covers to the guy, ’cause I wanted him to know I was taking them, and didn’t want to get shot in some stranger’s apartment over a pet cover dispute (You laugh, but a guy in TN was murdered by the guy offering him $200 for his Xbox One from Facebook Marketplace just a few weeks ago). At that point, he’s like “OK, how about $10?” Oh, so he’s gonna monetize everything he’s got, huh? Should I tell him about the remote? I think NOT. So, I only have $5 left after the DVD purchase, and tell him I’ll only take one since that’s all I’ve got. Some folks might be like “Don’t worry about it. Take both.” He was not one of those folks. So, I shove the cover into one of the bags, give him the $5 bill, thank him, and leave.

As I’m driving home, I’m giddy about these 2 giant trash bags of physical media that were going to make me a mini fortune of “walking around money”. Maybe I can finally show my face at the comic shop that’s been holding merchandise for me since October. I’m kinda hoping they think I’m dead by this point. Then, as I’m driving, I’m starting to have my Usual Suspects moment. I’m piecing together all the Keyser Soze stuff in my head, reliving the past hour or so. And it starts to occur to me all of the stuff I don’t remember seeing. Despite what I had seen on the app, I now couldn’t remember actually putting Six Feet Under in one of the bags. Or even Sex and the City. As I kept driving, other stuff was now apparent that it wasn’t actually there when I got there. No wonder he had dropped the price – THE MOTHERFUCKER HAD PULLED A BAIT & SWITCH AND REMOVED ALL THE VALUABLE STUFF! At this point, the lot was basically worth the $50 he was asking.

You’d think I’d rush home and immediately take inventory, but you would be wrong. I kinda stewed in it for a while. Life got in the way, we got this shit machine of a dog, and the bags sat in the back on my car for about 2 weeks. When I finally got around to seeing what it was I’d actually gotten, my theory became truth. There was no collection about a sad looking White family that runs a funeral home. There was no collection about Carrie Bradshaw and her antics in a pre-cell phone New York City. There was no collection about plastic surgeons with no moral compass. Don’t get me wrong – there was still stuff there. I mean, he had all of Prison Break, and most of Oz and 24 – all still sealed. He had some new Martha Stewart collections, for the DIY folks out there, as well as some rare Wilton cake decorating tutorial DVDs. He had some musicals I could add to the personal collection. But the lot was no longer the goldmine it was teased as being.

This was a “teachable moment” to me, as it made me aware of some things I do in these transactions that probably need to change. For one, when I make a sale, I never count the money in front of the person. I think it comes down to not wanting to insult them, and then have that escalate into me being shot. I’ve never been stiffed, but I just try to be “Cool Dude” who’s all “Oh, it’s no problem. Thanks for meeting me!” Another thing I need to do is take my time and really assess what it is I’m buying in these transactions. I used to forget to do this when I first started reselling. I’d go to the thrift store, find something like an old G.I. Joe vehicle that was about 70% complete, and swear there was a buyer out there for it. Sure, maybe ONE, but I wasn’t on his radar, and I’d end up sitting on junk. In that setting, I learned to take my time and really inspect the stuff I was buying, so I wouldn’t end up with a ton of Beast Wars Transformers, with exposed ball joints indicating there were limbs missing. Here, I should have at least glanced before I started just shoveling into bags, and I should’ve had the balls to ask about the missing stuff had I noticed it while I was still in the apartment.

For a brief moment, I considered messaging the guy to ask “Hey, what the Hell?”, but I didn’t really think that was the best approach. Plus, Tony Robbins might have instructed him to stand his ground and curse me out, and I simply couldn’t have that! He didn’t mark the lot as sold on the app for weeks, so I wasn’t being asked to leave a review for how the transaction went, which was actually a relief. I mean, I don’t blame him for removing the more valuable stuff if he had another channel to sell where he’d make more money. No, I blame him for not updating the pics on OfferUp, making it seem like I, the buyer, would be receiving things I did not, in fact, receive. To borrow from the vernacular of the day, his ad was simply FAKE NEWS!

I’ve already flipped Prison Break for $35, and the Xbox remote for $25, so I’ve gotten my money back, but 24 was missing the final season, and one of the Voyager seasons was missing a disc, so it’s gonna be an uphill battle unloading some of this stuff. Look before you leap, True Believer!

Notes From The Road

When I first started Thrift Justice, it was supposed to end with this little segment where I give a little tip or trick that I’ve learned while thrifting. Since this whole post was something of a cautionary tale, however, I figured it already took care of that. So, instead, I wanted to connect you to some others out there with thrifting experience.

 

First up, there’s my brother from another mother, Team Hellions. He’s got quite the reselling cottage industry going, where he specializes in anything from VHS to old print ads. He’s also one Hell of a writer, and he just celebrated his 10th blogging anniversary. Visit his site to see the massive magazine lot he probably just acquired, but stay for the in-depth coverage of his latest project: the pop culture of 1983!

Also, be sure to check in on The Surfing Pizza. When I discovered this site, it was incredible writing about nostalgia – ya know, “Here’s something you probably remember.” In recent years, however, the focus has changed into “Here’s something that you probably remember, and here’s how it affected me.” That personal touch made all the difference, and the site has been firing on all cylinders ever since!

They’ve both got some thrifting stories to tell, so be sure to check them out!

15th Mar2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/15/19

by Will

Some weeks, when I know I’m gonna be “on the wrong side of history”, I really don’t want to write this post. This is one of those weeks. Why do I say that? Well, it’s because of Captain Marvel.

As I was saying online last week, it sucks when you dislike something, but can’t vocalize your dislike because there’s a group of folks out there who dislike it for the “wrong” reasons. Ya see, there are all these Men’s Rights Activists upset about how the film’s star, Brie Larson, was regarding them on her press tour. Ultimately, she remarked that she didn’t want everyone reviewing the film to just be straight White guys. She was basically calling for more diversity, but didn’t sugarcoat it, so it was east for some folks to turn it into “Marvel didn’t slap her down, so they’re in on her anti-Male agenda!” They started leaving negative reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and spreading lies about how there were all these empty theaters where folks had claimed the movie had sold out. It’s so exhausting.

Meanwhile, I’m over here, not excited for the movie because I’ve pretty much always hated the character. I’ve gone into detail about it here before, so there’s no need to rehash all that. Basically, I’ve never found her likable, which is something I look for in my heroes. I’m sorry this skews awfully close to making women want to ask “Why does she have to be likable?”, almost like I’m saying some shit like “You know, you’d be prettier if you smiled more.” That’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is Captain Marvel (in the comics) in recent years has been equal parts Bitch and Fuck-Up. Just go re-read Civil War II to get a taste of what I’m talking about. So, when I heard they were gonna make a film about her, I wasn’t exactly clamoring for it. When it was pretty much insinuated that she was being introduced now, in order to be the Deus ex machina in Avengers: Endgame, my reaction turned to “Come the fuck on!”

Anyway, like a good little fanboy, I was sitting in a theater last Thursday night, with my trusty buddy Mike. At the end of the day, I liked it, but didn’t love it. I found it to be kinda “meh” as far as Marvel films go. I mean, it’s decent, but we’re at a point where the films have become so epic that “decent” isn’t good enough anymore. I hate ranking things, but it’s easy to place stuff when it disappoints you. To me, this movie is on the level of Doctor Strange. It simply exists, but it’s not something that really left much of an impression on me. My biggest issue, and I’ve gotten in trouble on some message boards for using this language, is the virtue signalling of the whole matter. Like, you wouldn’t believe how many folks I’ve seen who are like “It wasn’t excellent, but man am I glad it’s sticking it to those manbabies!” Or “Incels”, or whatever it is we’re calling the people we dislike this week. I’m not about to act like a “meh” movie was excellent just because of some schadenfreude that it might produce. For all of you cheering this, you didn’t “win” anything in this scenario, and you’re kinda screwing with your own integrity.

The problems…where to begin? OK, let’s get this out of the way: the whole heel turn of the Kree doesn’t come as much of a surprise, seeing as how Djimon Hounsou is playing the same character from Guardians of the Galaxy, and you see Starforce communicating with Ronan The Destroyer (who we KNOW is evil). Sure, they’re calling him off from doing what he does best (nuke the Hell out of planets), but they’re still keeping him on the bench, just in case. So, I guess this is one of those moments where the audience is meant to know more than the protagonist? I dunno, but I’ll chalk it up to that if I have to.

Then there’s the setting. The movie never feels like it takes place in the 90s, and they basically clobber you over the head with references like a late night CD infomercial. “Remember No Doubt?! Remember grunge?! OMG, remember BLOCKBUSTER?!” The setting just felt more forced than organic. The 90s are a hard decade to capture, so I get it, but it quickly became Family Guy‘s opinion of Robot Chicken: “Look! G.I. Joe, Transformers, ThunderCats, He-Man! Yay, those shows existed!” You know how a lot of folks hate Ready Player One because it’s just nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake? I felt that here. It’s like “Ooh, she hacked a pay phone with a Game Boy.”

I was also disappointed in Larson in the role. I know it’s hard to play an amnesiac, but she seemed so wooden at times. And I know they skewed younger, since the future of the MCU rests on her shoulders, but I’ve never been on board with her casting. I feel like Captain Marvel should’ve been an older, “worldlier” actor, like Charlize Theron. Someone with some “miles on her”.

One thing that stuck out to me is that it’s a movie built on the notion of platonic friendship, released in an age where everyone seems to have an ulterior motive. I’m not about to get into the sitcom trope of “Can Men and Women Be Friends?”, but there’s a weird subcurrent to the movie where you just never quite understand a LOT of the relationships on screen. I like how folks have pointed out that it’s the first Marvel film without a love interest, but is that completely true? There were quite a few scenes, whether between Carol and Fury, Carol and Space Jude Law, or Carol and Maria, where I’m like “So…they fuckin’?” I can completely admit that’s probably a personal issue on my part, but I still felt that, so I wondered if anyone else felt it, too.

Finally, and this is a big nitpicky thing but it’s my site and I do what I want, I HATED the thing with Fury’s eye. Now, I’ll completely take the blame here because a lot of us have our fan theories and start speculating about stuff with no real proof, and then we’re disappointed when faced with reality. For the past 11 years, I’ve been thinking he lost that eye in some bad ass op that we might one day see in flashbacks. After Winter Soldier, I kinda thought Pierce had something to do with him losing the eye, or was at least present when the shit went down. But, after all this time, it was the Flerken?! He got fucking scratched by a space cat, and I guess he let it get infected? What a letdown!

Anyway, it’s not all bad. I frontloaded this thing with the negatives, but there were things I truly enjoyed here. We got a Nick Fury movie without ever actually getting a Nick Fury movie. I’d love to see one where he’s actually seen some shit. I mean, here he’s like a cop who’s a few months from retirement. I know he works for S.H.I.E.L.D. but I’m not getting a “bad ass” vibe off of him. Maybe that comes once the eye is gone? Who knows? Anyway, I still like him here for what he was.

I also really loved Maria Rambeau, especially when she and Fury got to play off each other in space. We rarely get the experience of two Black people looking at each other like “Do you see this shit right here!?” in the MCU, so that was a rare treat.

And my favorite, favorite part that I loved, loved LOVED was Talos. I never knew I could love Ben Mendelsohn so much. I mean, I even liked him in his S.H.I.E.L.D. director Brick Tamland disguise, but it got so much better at the farmhouse, when he was just allowed to cut loose. He was SUCH a great character. Shit, I’d have preferred the movie have just been about him. He was just so damn entertaining!

Anyway, I can’t write the character off completely, ’cause I guess we’ll need her against Thanos, but I’m reserving judgement til I see what happens after that post-credits scene we got. I know a lot of people got a lot out of this, from the joy of representation, to the feeling of empowerment it provided. I’m glad it affected so many people positively, and I’m not trying to take away from that for anyone. I just wish I could join ya, ’cause it just kinda felt flat to me. Your mileage may vary. I give it 3 out of 5 Stan Lees.

Speaking of Marvel, we got another Avengers: Endgame trailer. Yeah, it’s nice and all, but I’m just ready for the movie already. I kinda hate how every trailer gets dissected and the fan theories run rampant. I mean, we all do it, but I at least try to keep mine to myself. Not record a 90-minute YouTube video about it. I’ve got no nitpicks here, and no fan theories. My body is ready!

Do we really have to talk about that college scam bullshit? OK, for anyone not in the know, a bunch of folks were rounded up and arrested for bribing college officials and testing coordinators to help get their kids into prestigious schools. Amongst that group were Felicity Huffman, and Mrs. Rebecca Donaldson-Katsopolis herself, Lori Loghlin. We’ve all fired off our “Aunt Becky” jokes on social media, but my final word on this is that it’s a New Money problem.

Did you ever read The Great Gatsby? It delineates between New Money and Old Money. If you won the lottery tomorrow, you’d be New Money, because you’re not used to wealth, and you’ll probably do stupid things with it, like trick out an Escalade or make it rain at the local strip club. Old Money, however, is institutionalized. Old Money have buildings named after them, they have rare and exquisite art collections on loan to the world’s biggest museums. New Money spends, while Old Money invests. Old Money knows how this college system works because they’ve been doing it since the beginning of higher learning. You donate enough money to have a library named after you, and the school really can’t say no. I mean, why risk you taking back your generous gift when all they have to do is open up a seat for your kid? Easy math.

New Money, meanwhile, is up to stupid tricks, like bribing test prep folks, and having coaches create spots on athletic teams for sports the kids don’t even play! Y’all were doing too much and, in the words of DJ Khaled, “Ya played yaself!” Loughlin allegedly paid close to $500,000 to get her Instagram influencer daughter into USC. Half a million dollars for USC?! Look, when I graduated from Cornell, they sent us a catalog detailing what we could get for each level of donation. Think of it like the PBS pledge drive, but with real estate involved. For example, $10,000 got you a practice room in the music hall, without a piano. Meanwhile, $30,000 would get you one with a piano. I remember somebody donated for the piano room, and they dedicated that shit to Jerry Garcia. There was a plaque and everything. And it still both bewilders and angers me that someone had enough money to just throw it away like that. Sure, maybe he’s a big fan of The Grateful Dead, but if I’m throwing $30K at something, I’m either naming it after my mother or Maria Stark.

Anyway, this group of “elite parents” really need some Old Money friends, ’cause there were a ton of folks, laughing their asses off, while greasing the right palms this week. I’d recommend everyone find them an Old Money friend, ’cause it’ll teach you wonders about money.

It was announced last night on The Tonight Show that YouTube star Lilly Singh will be taking over the timeslot being vacated by Carson Daly’s Later. Her show will be called A Little Late with Lilly Singh. Is that where all the hosts of the future will come from? YouTube? I mean, they got the new Double Dare host from there, and now this. Meanwhile, I’m just becoming an old man, and all these kids have names like Chad Zachary Chad and I can’t tell them apart.

In the world of comics, I’m sort of surprised that DC Comics had a bit of a Come to Jesus moment all due to the Bat Penis. If you weren’t aware, DC launched this edgier imprint, called Black Label, last year that was going to take their signature characters in some interesting directions. Well, in the first issue of Brian Azzarello & Lee Bermejo’s Batman: Damned, you can see Batman’s penis. I have the issue, but haven’t read it. Haven’t even seen the panel in question online. Still, it caused quite the stir, forcing delays on the rest of the series for it to be rewritten. At a comic retailer summit last weekend, DC co-publisher Dan Didio said the whole incident made them question who they had become as a publisher. Even though the image was waved off by co-publisher Jim Lee as a result of lightening the page, Didio felt like they had done some damage with their relationship with retailers, and that they had to take a step back and really think about where they were headed. Now, this is a summit for retailers – some of the most cantankerous folks alive – so of course Didio is going to try to sweet talk them. Still, I always find it refreshing when a brand openly admits “We made a mistake.” Learn from it and move on. So few companies, OR PEOPLE, seem to be able to do that in this day and age.

Finally, social media was ablaze yesterday as folks voiced their displeasure in Netflix cancelling the critical hit reboot of One Day at a Time. With this incarnation of the show focusing on a Cuban-American family, it had become quite the beacon of representation in media. So, folks felt that Netflix had a commitment to keep this show going, even when Netflix said that the audience wasn’t large enough to make a 4th season viable.

Have a seat. Let’s chat. I know you’re upset about losing a show you liked, but it’s just business. Ratings are funny because we ultimately don’t need to see them. Folks are always like “Well, what were the ratings?” when their favorite shows are cancelled. Ratings are used to SELL ADS. It’s why streamers don’t have to give us viewer numbers. We don’t know what a network has invested in a show, so we can’t really sit back and ask “Oh, you mean that wasn’t enough people watching?” And if we DID get the ratings, and they were, like, a million viewers short, what then? You gonna call a million of your closest friends? Is a network really supposed to take a loss for “representation” when the represented don’t show up to support it?

Why spend money on a show that has no audience? It ain’t a charity. Now, sure, we don’t know streaming numbers, but they weren’t enough to make them keep the show. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Folks want them to keep airing the thing so they get some kind of “brownie points” in their “commitment to diversity”. They’re just gonna create a diverse show, in house, that they’ll OWN. See, that’s the clincher right there: Netflix has to pay the show’s production studio, Sony, a pretty hefty licensing fee to carry the show. This is why Netflix has been cancelling most of the shows they don’t own, like the Marvel series. Still, some folks didn’t like that Netflix didn’t mention this in their statement. What, throw Sony under the bus when they may have to do business with them in the future?

Then I’ve seen folks use the argument that “Well, they could afford it if they hadn’t paid $100 million for Friends!” No! Stop using that defense. They threw $100 million at Friends because White people STILL love Friends and it performs well in syndication. Were that not the case, they’d have paid a lot less than $100 million. Friends is basically a “loss leader”. It cost them a lot on the front end, but they hope it’ll be an investment that brings eyes to the service. It’s not like they just flushed $100 million down the drain. The mentality is basically “Come for some familiar flavor that you know you like, and then try something new.” You need a big show for that to work, not some middling critical darling.

I know y’all out there loved the show and, no, I never saw it. I haven’t fired up Netflix since 2017. There’s just too much shit to do and watch these days. Still, I heard great things so it seems like it was quite a loss. That said, stop taking all this business stuff personally. Channel that anger elsewhere. Create your own stuff. This isn’t the end of representation and it’s possibly not even the end for this show, as Sony plans to shop it around. Based on the groundswell of support it’s gotten over the past 24 hrs, a network would be a fool to instantly pass on it. Only time will tell, but there’s more to these decisions than we like to believe.

OK, it may not have knocked my socks off, but I still know a cultural phenomenon when I see one. Captain Marvel had the highest grossing opening for a film with a female lead. It’s already crossed $500 million. And it put us at the doorstep of Avengers: Endgame. So, giving credit where credit is due, Captain Marvel had the West Week Ever.

08th Mar2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/8/19

by Will

 

There’s quite a bit of pop culture-y goodness to discuss this week, which is a welcome change of pace.

First off, yeah, I’ve seen Captain Marvel, but we’ll talk about that next week. Give y’all some time to see it, ’cause I’ve. Got. Thoughts.

In movie news, Warner Bros announced a new animated Scooby-Doo film, that’s to kick off the shared Hanna-Barbera Universe, with the gang taking on Dick Dastardly. Well, in a controversial move, WB replaced Matthew Lillard as the voice of Shaggy, recasting him with Will Forte. It left a bad taste in folks’ mouths because 1) Lillard found out about the recasting along with the rest of the world, and 2) he’s been voicing Shaggy since Casey Kasem stepped down from the role in 2009 (plus he starred in the role in the 2 live action films). So, if you’ve seen Scooby-Doo and the Dairy Queen of Death or whatever the fuck straight to video thing they’re slinging, that voice you heard was Lillard.

I get that Lillard’s had the role for a bit, but I can also see WB wanting more of a “name” for their Hollywood offering, since it’s going to be positioned as a bigger deal than the Warner Home Entertainment releases. And we just happen to live at a weird time where Will Forte can pull up on Matthew Lillard. What’s next? Michael Pena taking roles from Freddie Prinze Jr? Anyway, I get it. It sucks – especially for voiceover actors – but that just seems to be where Hollywood is headed. Tara Strong has voiced Harley Quinn forever, but the upcoming DC Universe animated series has tapped The Big Bang Theory‘s Kaley Cuoco for the role. Why? Because TBBT is the #1 sitcom on television (cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth). I’m not saying the practice is right, but I’m not surprised by it in the least.

Sticking with Warner Bros productions, it was revealed that Arrow will return next Fall for an abbreviated 10-episode final season. Ten episodes would take them right up to next year’s crossover, so I guess we know who dies in “Crisis”? Which, ya know, would be a fitting sacrifice. He’s more than avenged his city, and has grown in his quest. He’s no longer about simple revenge, and he’s inspired countless others. It works. I guess this means I’ve got to catch up on the show now, as I fell off early last season.

And one last, BIG, WB tidbit: Idris Elba is reportedly replacing Will Smith as Deadshot in The Suicide Squad. Frankly, I think Idris should actually play Bronze Tiger. I’m not one of those who feels like Deadshot HAS to be on the Squad. In the comic series, he and Harley are mainstays, which kinda throws a wrench in that whole “Anyone could die on any mission” threat. If he’s killed – even if offscreen – it proves there are actual stakes to the team. And it’ll be the second time Will Smith gets killed off a sequel off panel

 

I give you the most boring toy commercial I’ve ever seen. It lacks energy, and it’s almost like they don’t know their audience. Kids commercials have to be loud and bombastic. Make the kids WANT the shit. This voiceover sounds like she’s my therapist. The movie will do just fine, but I’m not sure the merch sales are gonna be so hot for Captain Marvel

The Kickstarter went live this week for WHITE, which is the sequel to the critically acclaimed graphic novel BLACK, which came out a few years ago. That story dealt with a world where superheroes exist, but the powers are only available to Black people. This sequel (the second part of a reported trilogy) appears to follow how White folks are coping with the fact that they can’t have powers. Well, just looking out the window, I can assume they ain’t gonna be too cool with that.

I’m tempted to pledge to this project, as I did support BLACK. That said, I also find BLACK in the $5 bin A LOT, making it hard for me to justify the $30 pledge when this volume is likely to experience a similar fate. Plus, while I haven’t read the entire story yet (despite having 2 years to do it), I did read the first issue, and it wasn’t very…good. Add to the fact that the Tuskegee Heirs Kickstarter has pretty much killed my faith in that platform for promoting new creative endeavors.

Speaking of comics, this tweet went viral from creator Jimmy Palmiotti, and I couldn’t disagree more. Looking at a lot of the replies, I’m not alone.

Nope, nope, nope! It’s NOT our job, as fans, to provide a living wage for comic professionals, and it’s wrong for said industry to try to guilt us into doing it. Palmiotti’s own friends, like Joe Quesada, prop up an industry that underpays their talent, and then goes out and expects fans to make up the difference. If you wanna give a little more to comics, that’s your choice, but it’s not your job or role to make sure Johnny Comic Book Artist can pay his bills. That’s on his publisher.

Meanwhile, it’s such a tacky ploy to try to pit fans against the “millionaire actors”, who are also there to give back to those fans/make their nut. There is NO money in comics. Most of us, regardless of our place in the pecking order, went into the industry knowing that. Whether the Diamond customer service rep, or the newbie Marvel artist, everybody’s just trying to get by. And it’s the individual’s choice as to what they should do with their money.

This song – “Ladies in the ’90s” – was actually released by Lauren Alaina back in October, but it’s just starting to gain traction with airplay. Seeing as how it’s been out so long, I think this lyric video is all we’re gonna get, which is sad because I can think of a lot of fun stuff to do with this concept. Anyway, the song has been stuck in my head all week, so maybe you’ll find it as fun as I do.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Alex Trebek announced that he is fighting Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. In a recorded message, he jokingly said that he’d have to beat it, as he still has 3 more years on his contract. I’ll say this: when Trebek is done with Jeopardy! I want them to put it on ice for a few years. Family Feud disappeared after the Ray Combs era, and it had to slog through Richard Karn, Louis Anderson, and J. Peterman before they hit pay dirt with Steve Harvey. I’d rather not endure that slog with Jeopardy! any time soon. Let it stand as a monument to the man’s work until quite some time has passed.
  • The Mad About You revival has finally found a home on Spectrum, along with the Bad Boys spinoff, LA’s Finest. The 10-episode “event series” will focus on Reiser and Hunt’s characters dealing with “empty nest syndrome” as their daughter goes off to college. And I don’t know a single person who wants to watch this. I was a Mad About You FAN, and I don’t want this. All I know is Ira better be there, or they can go straight to Hell.
  • I don’t normally cover death here, but Luke Perry sadly passed away earlier this week after the massive stroke he suffered last week. The thing that’s been most surprising to me, however, are all of the great stories folks have shared about his kindness. I always kinda figured the former 90210 star was something of a douchebag (though I had absolutely nothing to back that up), so it was great to hear that I was wrong and had judged him too quickly. It doesn’t seem like Hollywood is filled with NICE people, but it certainly sounds like they just lost one with the loss of Perry.
  • The Twitter Sleuths are on the case! Between the release of the documentary Leaving Neverland, focused on the Michael Jackson sexual assault allegations, and the Gayle King/R. Kelly 2-day interview, folks got their fill of juicy morsels to dissect and try to figure shit out. Nevermind the fact that these are situations that ruined kids’ lives. I blame Serial for this, but it’s also 2019, which is a blanket excuse for anything these days.

  • I’m not really one to do food reviews, but I HAD to grab the brand spanking new Orange Vanilla Coke Zero. I don’t taste even a HINT of Coke. It might as well just be some Orange Fanta with some vanilla syrup in it. It’s not to say I don’t like it, but it’s not something I can guzzle back to back. I can tear through some Vanilla Coke Zero, but I need something of a refractory period after drinking just one of these.

I am a Power Rangers fan. That’s no secret to anyone who’s been to this site before. Still, being a fan of that franchise for the past few years has been like cheering on a losing sports team. I’ve checked in every now and then, but nothing really piqued my interest. I made a promise to myself, some 20 years ago now, that I’d watch the show as long as it was on the air. It had been good to me in rough times, so I would never leave it. I had no idea, however, that the friggin’ thing was gonna follow me to the grave! Over the years, watching every episode became watching every premiere and finale, which became watching every premiere. It was just enough to keep my promise to myself, but it kept me from getting engrossed – a good thing, since I would just end up focusing on how bland the Neo-Saban era of Power Rangers had become. Last year, however, toymaker Hasbro purchased the franchise from creator Haim Saban, with a desire to breathe new life into the property. Now, suddenly I realized I didn’t have to be an Orioles fan anymore because now we had the Nationals (did I do the sports right there?)!

Hasbro’s first offering premiered last Saturday morning, as Power Rangers Beast Morphers. I was cautious. Not cautiously optimistic. Simply cautious. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew everything about what had come before. So there was an uphill battle ahead of Beast Morphers. That said, this was the first time I’d felt open to a new incarnation since Power Rangers Samurai, which was a disappointment out of the gate (WHY didn’t Nick air the PILOT as the first episode?!).

As the show began, I was already seeing some familiar tropes. A gym & juice bar, and a young White guy leading a Karate class? Is it 1993 again?! OK, I was settling in. As the show went on, what I found I really enjoyed about it was how it honored and embraced what had come before. In the first episode, we not only get a reference to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers villain Rita Repulsa, but it was also tied to the most recent villain – a show of support for the continuity that Saban had dodged so deftly. This was a show that was built on what had come before. Sure, it was a clean slate, but it wasn’t a jarring hard reboot.

Plus, there were quite a few swerves when it came to the characters. This is the first group of Rangers, in about ten years, that I have actually found likable. I already care about them and want them to succeed. They’re not just bland pretty kids, which was the call sheet description from the past few seasons. AND (and this is a BIG and) it’s the first time in a very long time that I even liked the supporting characters. The wacky brother and sister who run Grid Battleforce security, the teen prodigy who has figured out how to tap into the Morphing Grid, even the stern, with a heart of gold, commander of Grid Battleforce – I loved them all.

It’s still early, and strong pilots can quickly turn into mundane series, but I think we might have a winner here. I think Power Rangers is actually GOOD right now, y’all. That’s CRAZY! Anyway, this is why Power Rangers Beast Morphers had the West Week Ever.

15th Feb2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2/15/19

by Will

No real rants this week, but I guess we should talk about the Marvel/Hulu deal. Hulu announced 4 upcoming Marvel animated series, including Howard the Duck, M.O.D.O.K., Tigra & Dazzler, and Hit-Monkey. Now, for some reason, folks are excited by this announcement. I, however, do not understand why.

There’s nothing amazing here. No marquee characters. Sure, it’s been pointed out that this is Marvel’s first crack at working with a former Fox character in Dazzler but, I mean, it’s Dazzler. The biggest aspect is probably the folks behind the scenes: Kevin Smith will executive produce Howard the Duck, while Chelsea Handler will be the EP on Tigra & Dazzler, and Patton Oswalt will be EP on Hit Monkey. Still, so? I haven’t really liked anything Smith has done in a very long time, while they’re describing Tigra & Dazzler as “woke” which is a buzzword that’s polarizing to some. Put them all together, and it just sounds like a UPN fall schedule circa 1996.

Anyway, all 4 shows will culminate in a crossover called Marvel’s Offenders, which is a clear rub against the Netflix deal, where the initial four shows culminated in the poorly received Marvel’s The Defenders. Hey, you can’t like everything, nor can everything be tailored to you. That said, I won’t be subscribing to Hulu for these.

Trailer Park

MA

I’m not a horror guy, and if you’re a regular reader, you probably already know that. Still, something about this intrigues me. I figure Octavia Spencer is just getting revenge on the people who bullied her in high school by fucking with their kids, but maybe there’s something deeper to it. Still, definitely intrigued.


Yesterday

A world without The Beatles? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?! Yeah, yeah, I know that just triggered some folks, but I maintain that they were a boyband who eventually got into some psychedelic shit. Anyway, this movie looks really good, and I will definitely be seeing it…on Netflix.


Aladdin

During Sunday’s presentation of the Grammys, we got a “Special Look” at Disney’s upcoming live action adaptation of Aladdin. A few months ago y’all complained that Will Smith wasn’t blue in the Entertainment Weekly spread. Now, folks are complaining that he is blue. As I said on Twitter, there’s just no pleasing you motherfuckers. Anyway, I’m sure it’ll make a ton of money, but this isn’t my kind of film. Honestly, I wouldn’t watch this thing it it were free on the Disney Channel. This teaser does absolutely nothing for me.


Frozen II

I’m loath to admit this, but I’m beginning to realize Disney just doesn’t make movies for me – a difficult position to be in when you have 2 small children. There was a day, about a year ago, when we “watched” Frozen about 7 times. At no point, however, did I make it through the entire thing, instead just seeing disjointed scenes. What I saw, though, did absolutely nothing for me. I don’t wanna be one of those “Back in my day, we had The Lion King” folks, but I find it necessary to remind young’uns of that when they start spouting off about The Lion Guard. Anyway, since everyone loves making money, there’s a sequel coming. Based on this teaser, Girl Jesus steels herself to go up against her archnemesis, The Wave. I guess? I dunno. I just hope there’s a song called “Still Letting It Go”.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Echo Kellum is no longer a series regular on Arrow after this week’s episode, where his character Curtis Holt/Mr. Terrific moved to Washington, DC. Meanwhile, there are rumors that Carlos Valdes will be leaving his role as Cisco over on The Flash by the end of the season.
  • After 17 years, Carson Daly will be stepping down from his late night NBC series, Last Call, at the end of the season. He says that “It’s time”, and that he wanted to give the spot up to a younger voice. Look, I know how Hollywood works Nobody leaves a paying gig, where they’re pretty much left alone, on their own accord. That’s the kind of job you do until they pull the rug out from under ya, which I believe is exactly what NBC did. Still he had a good run, and he met his wife on the show, so it was a fruitful enterprise for him.
  • Even though it was always reported as returning “Summer 2019”, it was revealed this week that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s 6th season will premiere sometime in May, and will be set one year after the events of the season 5 finale.
  • Fox renewed Bob’s Burgers and Family Guy for next season, surprising no one. Oh, and The Simpsons was renewed for 2 more seasons, despite the fact that there are reports that Disney could make more money off the franchise by cancelling it, as the original syndication deal was made early in the show’s run and could be renegotiated at a higher rate.
  • Considering the new president of Nickelodeon is the creator of All That, it’s no surprise that he’s going back to the well in his attempt to get the channel back to its roots. Brian Robbins announced he is developing a reboot of the tween sketch show, with breakout former star, and SNL veteran, Kenan Thompson as an executive producer.
  • Marvel announced the upcoming Savage Avengers comic series, which will see Conan the Barbarian join the Marvel Universe. This is a confusing thing to me, from a business standpoint, because what happens when Marvel loses the Conan license, yet certain events will have been propped up from his time in the MU. I mean, ROM: SpaceKnight anyone?
  • In the wake of recent sexual misconduct allegations against director Bryan Singer, his adaptation of Red Sonja has been shelved by Millennium Films AFTER they had sworn their support of him and the project.
  • It was announced that McFarlane Toys has acquired the license to make collectible toys based on DC Entertainment properties. Personally, I feel like they squandered too much goodwill 20 years ago with their “staction figures”, but folks seem to love their recent Fortnite toys, so maybe that’s an indicator of what we can expect?
  • It was announced today that the next iteration of Power Rangers, Power Rangers: Beast Morphers, will premiere on March 2nd, at 8 AM (the franchise’s new timeslot). 8 AM is where you’d need to air Power Rangers to get kids to care about it live. I mean, by that noon timeslot, they were already at soccer or whatever.
  • I’m no longer wasting the time to document the many returns of Toys “R” Us, so NEXT!

  • As I get older, it’s harder for me to tell these pop starlets apart. Between Halsey and Charli XCX, I remember that Halsey is the Double Bi one (bisexual and biracial), while Charli XCX is “The Other One”. That’s not really a knock on her, but rather the fact that I feel they have similar “gimmicks”. Anyway, I caught the video for Charli XCX & Troye Sivan’s new song, “1999”, which was pretty impressive. If I wanted to nitpick, I could point out how most of this stuff actually took place around 1997, but I’ll give her points for effort and attention to detail. Also, I feel like Sivan, an openly gay man, impersonating Eminem, one of pop culture’s most notorious homophobes, is about 1,000 thinkpieces waiting to happen.

So I first learned about Instagram user HardRockNick, AKA Nicholas Rock Johannsen, last weekend while surfing Twitter. Someone had come across his profile, and basically commented that they had found The One in him. Of course, they were being facetious, but it led me, and scores of others, to check out his account just to see what they were talking about. And it did NOT disappoint!

I don’t even know where to begin with this guy. He’s allegedly a multimillionaire casino owner. His likes include banging porn stars, Trump, and Pure-White women (“not mixed with Mexican or Israeli and shit”). I watched as his followers went from about 500 to 10,000 over the course of the day. Of course, there’s the whole sentiment of “Stop Making Stupid People Famous”, but I was getting tired of hearing about the Andy, the Blowjob Guy from the Fyre Festival documentary, so I welcomed a new butt of jokes.

Everything about him is sad-funny. Whether it’s him trying to impress us by the fact that he found a “great little burger place in my neighborhood”, which is actually a Shake Shack, or him showing off the breakfast made for him by his “personal chef”, when the picture is clearly taken at an IHOP. Was he real? Was this performance art? That’s what we all wanted to know.

Any time you encounter someone just so obnoxious, the first question that comes to mind is “Who hurt you?” Well, after some sleuthing, a story began to take shape. HardRockNick at one time was also known as Aly Ashley Jash, who ran a pet grooming business with his wife, stage actress (and former fiancee to Jeff Goldblum) Catherine Wreford. As the business began to go downhill, Wreford allegedly had an affair with an insurance salesman. Jash, however, would have the last laugh, as he broke into Wreford’s house and took a shit in her kitchen sink (this event can be confirmed by court documents found online). The story, however, doesn’t have as jokey of an ending. Jash went on to become whatever it is you can call him now, while Wreford was recently diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

Then, we got the WHOLE truth. I’m not even gonna spoil it here. Click that link and go to town. However, if you’re like Lindsay – who was disgusted just looking at the guy – then you can hop off here. All I know is the internet had a nice little time following this guy’s story, even if it paled in comparison to that week when Pokemon Go brought us all together. In my mind, however, HardRockNick, AKA Aly Ashley Jash, had the West Week Ever.

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