06th Oct2005

Cornell’s Sorority System, Described Using Celebrities du Jour

by Will

“I’m not above putting out for cash!”

So, to show you just how bored I tend to get at work, the following is a little project I gave myself the other day. With the help of my good web friend, Wikipedia , I set out to take a trip down Cornell memory lane. While doing this, I began to think of the fun times, the party times. And sometimes these involved crashing some kind of Greek mixer. In fact, I remember a Sig Ep/Kappa Delta mixer where the guys spent most of the evening sneering and me and Lip from the staircase as we took over the party. You know it was a lame party if Lip and I were the main event, but that was what happened some cold nights in Ithaca.

Anyway, while looking back, I began to remember the distinct personalities of the houses. There are different frats (yeah, yeah, “You wouldn’t call your country…”) and sororities because they’re all into different things. Yes, kids, it’s the high school cafeteria all over again. So, instead of trying to describe these different social mindsets, I decided to use examples instead. Yup, I went through all of the sororities on Cornell’s campus, and then found an actual celebrity alumnae from those specific houses, some Cornell alums, some alums of other schools, that best illustrate the general “theme” of the house. By “theme”, I’m basing it upon looks and personality. You may find some of these to be harsh. You may find some to be spot on. But all I can promise is that this is one guy’s Cornell-centric opinion, and these are all true alums of the houses. And if you don’t know a particular name, don’t be afraid to Google that mofo. So, away we go!

UPDATE: I simply love commentary too much to list names without explanation. Let’s see how much I can offend some people…

Delta Gamma – Ann Coulter
Bunch of blond, rich, White Republican girls. In my best James Lamb voice, “They wanted nothing to do with me.”

Chi Omega – Joyce DeWitt
Sure, in the South, “Chi Ho” is the shizzle, but not where I’m from. On the hill, this house is nothing but a breeding ground of “Janets” for the rest of the world’s “Chrissies”.

Pi Beta Phi – Jennifer Garner
Hottie hot-hot sporty spicers. You want a hot chick who could also take you down in a fight? This is your house. Buyer beware, some of them are “beautifully musculine”. Just sayin’…Anyway, I like to refer to this as The House of Tarek.

Kappa Delta – Ellen Dow
Sure, they all mean well, but…

Delta Delta Delta – Katie Couric
Cute, but deadly. Unassuming, but that’s just what they want you to think. Sleep with one eye open.

Kappa Alpha Theta – Jenna Von Oy
Ahh…Theta. Now, this was a house of those “rough around the edges” chicks where you have to ask, “Are you SURE you wanna be in a sorority?”

Alpha Phi- Kimberly Williams
She’s got the look. Nanananana, nanananananana, nanananana!!!! In all seriousness, this was the best house of groupies EVER. I mean, these girls ate, slept, and breathed a cappella. Sure, it was a Hangover house, but that seemed to change over time…

Kappa Kappa Gamma – Sophia Bush
Every girl in Kappa looks like this girl. And they all work for Morgan Stanley. They will stab you in the back if there’s an internship in it for them. Sounds like some kind of “One Tree Hill” plotline. In fact, I can’t look at any of them anymore without Gavin DeGraw popping into my head…

Alpha Chi Omega – Dawn Wells
The girl who used to be cute and sweet during orientation who’s now cute and a bitch. Wow, it’s amazing how Rush can change a person. Plus, y’all know that Ginger was the movie star, but Mary Ann HAD to have a chip on her shoulder!

Sigma Delta Tau – Joan Rivers
A bunch of loud Jewish girls. Yeah, I said it. And I loved how all their sweaters and crap said “EAT”.

Alpha Omicron Pi – Courtney Kupets
A bunch of girls with NOTHING in common who really just wanted to tell their friends back home that they were in a sorority. Honestly, you couldn’t find a larger, more motley group. These girls had NO business being together, as they were all gymnasts or ecologists looking for something to do over breaks…

Wow, this post came off really bitter, like they all rejected me or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. In all honesty, the Greek thing wasn’t really my scene. We did the parties when we had jack nothing else to do. But these were my observations from our “away team” missions. Anyway, it’s not like anybody from these houses is even gonna see this post…

27th Aug2005

Looking Back On Buckaroo Banzai

by Will

“No matter where you go, there you are.”

Soon the leaves will change, and I will be reminded of the tool that I was, growing up. Now, don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed my antisocial status. My Saturday’s were planned to a T. I’d wake up, partake in some TNBC action, and then I’d hunker down and watch whatever craptastic movie Channel’s 5 and 20 had to offer. But out of their entire film libraries, there are two movies that always put a special feeling in the air:
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension . Today, I had the pleasure of revisiting the latter.

Let me try to somehow explain why I ever liked this movie. It’s like the producers went up to a 7 yr-old and asked, “Hey, kid..what do you wanna be when you grow up?” And the kid responded, “I wanna be a super hero, and a rock star, and a rocket scientist, and kill aliens, and have a flying car…” Why do I say this? Because all of the above describe the title character of Buckaroo Banzai. He is all of those things, and I’m not being metaphorical. He is an alien-fighting, rock star, comic book hero, with an advanced degree in physics. Plus, his band doubles as his superhero support team. Yeah, on my most imaginative day, I can’t believe some studio greenlit this, even in 1984.

Just looking at the cast, you get the picture that it’s not gonna be an easy stroll through the park. Peter Weller (Robocop) as Buckaroo tips ya off, but anytime you have John Lithgow AND Jeff Goldblum, you’d might as well send the thing straight to video. Lithgow’s most sane role was the crazy preacher in “Footloose” and “Goldblum” is Hebrew for “hope you’re ready for weird”. And we round it all off with the great Christoher Lloyd. Yeah, it’s no wonder this thing only has a cult following.

But these lameass reasons are the same reason I love it. I can’t believe a studio greenlit this movie! It’s that simple. It’s not even one of those films where you’re like, “I’ll bet this rocks when you’re high.” No, if you watched it under the influence of something, you’d probably go on a killing spree. It’s that much of a mindfuck.

I don’t know what touches more. Is it the bubble-wrap safety goggles? The cowboy named “New Jersey”? Or is it the irresistable “Pretty Tommy”, who surprisingly is NOT a pimp? The aliens disguised as Rastafarians? The fact that they willingly endanger that 11 yr-old kid AND give him a rifle to shoot at people? It makes no sense on paper, and it makes even less sense to watch.

The beauty of the whole film-making process in Buckaroo Banzai is that you KNOW they’re trying to weird you out, but not in that artsy Tim Burton-esque way. There’s no real method to the madness, just a balls-out “why not?” approach. Sure, you could ask, “Why is Buckaroo ALL of these professions?”, but the movie subtlely puts forth “Why NOT?” And once you accept that, all bets are off.

My experience today was just like it’s been the past 2o-odd years I’ve watched this masterful train wreck. The thing comes on, and the events unfold like this:

Minute 1: “Oh, man! ‘Buckaroo Banzai’ is on! Well, got nothing else to do today…”

Minute12: “OK, I think I’ve had about all I can handle.”

Minute 22: “Wow, is Robocop really singing ‘Since I Don’t Have You’? I’m gonna have to see where this is going.”

Minute 37: “I really can’t do this anymore. Fucking Goldblum in that cowboy outfit makes me wanna hit somebody.”

Minute 62: “Man, no wonder Ellen Barkin’s career went nowhere.”

Minute 70: “Guess I’ve gotta ride out this storm.”

Minute 103: “I can’t believe I just sat through that whole thing. Oooh…’Baywatch’!”

Well, the Baywatch part didn’t occur to me today (God rest its bouncy slow-motion soul), but it never fails that the same exact thoughts go through my mind. And I just find it touching that a movie can make me feel the exact same way, each time, over the course of so many years. I think THAT’s what keeps me coming back for more. I go for years without seeing it, and I come back older and wiser, yet I still ask the same questions.

And after 20 years, I still don’t know what the fuck this movie’s about! I’m serious. Something about an “overthruster”, and I know Lithgow looks like he needs a bath…and there’s some guy named “Bigbootie” (Awww….Big booty, big booty, big booty!). But in the whole “how much shit can we possibly cram into this movie?”, the creative team behind the film gave plot a back seat. I’d be so bold as to say there is no plot. These were the 80’s. A time when some bastard created “Toxie, the Toxic Avenger”, and somehow spawned a cartoon out of that. My point is that in the “Me Generation” no idea was too farfetched, and “Buckaroo Banzai” is one of the best examples of that.

Well, that’s enough sharing. Once again, I’m pretty sure that Austin’s the only one reading this who’ll even have a clue as to what I’m talking about, but he’s my target audience for the pop culture throwback posts, so i guess I’m doing my job if he connects. Stay tuned for my next post, which will be a milestone in the Westverse: post #450!

20th Aug2005

Truck Turner Is HILARIOUS!

by Will

“She’s gratuitously hot. Like ‘even if she was a parapalegic I wouldn’t care’ hot.”

You’ve never seen an All-Star Pimp Funeral until you’ve seen Isaac Hayes’ “Truck Turner”. One of the lesser-known Blaxploitation flicks, it’s probably the only place you’ll see cocaine sprinkled on a finely dressed corpse and, and here’s the clincher, Lt. Uhura as a hardass Hollywood Madame.

Let’s see…you’ve got the one-eyed White cowboy pimp. You’ve got the standard issue street corner pimp. But my personal fave is the Yafhet Kotto-from-Homicide pimp. “What could be wrong? I’m rich. I have money. I’m cute. I’m handsome.” He steals the show!

And who knew prostitutes would grieve so over their fallen daddy? It truly is an enlightening thing to watch. And I leave you with this nugget of wittiness from Lt. Uhooker:

“She’s called ‘Turnpike’ ’cause you’ve gotta pay to get on and pay to get off.”

11th Aug2005

Looking Back On Footloose

by Will

“And I thought only assholes used the word ‘pansy’!”

So, I’m supposed to be Mr. Pop Culture, but there are many glaring omissions in my repertoire. For instance, I’ve never seen “Titanic”; probably the only red-blooded Metro American to admit that. Do they even use “metrosexual” anymore? I’m so out the loop these days!

Anyway, I plugged one of those holes tonight, and watched a movie I’d never seen before. Which movie? The Kevin Bacon tour de force “Footloose”!

In this day and age, too many people can’t dance. They admit it like it’s cute or something, “Oh, I can’t dance! *giggle*” Half of them, I think, say it just so when they actually kick ass on the dancefloor, you’ll be forced to say, “Hey, I thought you said you couldn’t dance!” It’s all a big tease.

Anyway, this movie touched me, and I realized something. I realized that if dancing were illegal, like crack, everybody would be a fucking Solid Gold dancer. Nothing like making something “black market” to increase its demand. Music is too accessible, so we take it for granted. We’ve got AM, FM, XM, mp3s, ringtones… It’s too much. If you had to turn tricks for a cassette, you’d APPRECIATE that music! I can see it now:

“Yo, man…I gotta have a hit. I’ll take anything. I’ll DO anything!”

“Anything? Well, I’ve got 2 hits of Britney, some Starship, and some old Skee-Lo. But it’ll cost ya. You sure you ain’t a cop?”

This town outlawed dancing, and the if these kids heard 4 bars of Kenny Loggins, for those few seconds they were all Julliard grads. I mean, Kevin Bacon was lauding the praises of Men at Work, for God’s sake! Men at Work! Those kids were jonesin’ for music like it was going out of style!

And notice how there were no Blacks. Yeah, I know it was a small midwestern town, but that was symbolic. The day that town outlawed dancers, either all the Blacks were executed or they simply left town. ‘Cause there ain’t no way in HELL Black people gonna live in a town where they can’t dance. It’s not that they dance all the time, but they’d like the option if the mood strikes them. Same goes for the Latin community. You ever watch Telemundo? They can’t give a weather report without dancing! Oh God, I’ve become such a bigot….

I also got another idea: I want a dance-off between Kevin Bacon and Patrick Swayze. It would be a joint sequel of sorts. I like to call it “Dirty Footing”! In theaters Fall 2006. “‘Cause nobody outlaws Baby!”

10th Aug2005

Go Away, Maria Menounos!

by Will

“He wants me to go to the moon with him, Johnny, and it’s really cold there, I guess, and it’s like, my least favorite planet anyway. I’d much rather go to Pluto or Star Trek or China. One of the nice planets that’s not so dirty.”

You know who I’m getting sick of? Maria Menounos! She’s frickin’ EVERYWHERE. She’s on “One Tree Hill”. She’s in “Fantastic Four.” And let’s not forget her main job, “Entertainment Tonight”. She’s like Media Herpes or something. I can’t get rid of her. She’s the Jillian Barberie of 2005.

Plus, shouldn’t it be a conflict of interest to be an entertainer (I use the term loosely) AND be an ET cohost? First, Mark McGrath joined Extra, which is OK, ’cause who really took Sugar Ray seriously? But when John Tesh started his whole New Age career, he had the decency to leave ET. But Maria’s EVERYWHERE. And it’s not like she’s that talented. She’s kinda like the Budget Eva Longoria, which ain’t sayin’ much. If you can’t afford post-“Desperate Housewives” Eva, then Maria Menounos will come to your kid’s birthday party and smile for pictures. Then, she’ll turn around and show the pics on ET, right after her coverage of Mary Kay Letourneau’s wedding. Oh, ET, when did you turn into “A Current Affair”?

08th Aug2005

DJ Tanner Says You’re Going To Hell!

by Will

What’s the deal with the Cameron family?!!! First, Mike Seaver got
Left Behind and now DJ Tanner’s throwing THIS at us?!!!

Whoa, babies! When did these kids get all Born Again? And stop making me feel like crap, Mike and Donna Jo! Don’t they know they’ve gotta have mercy? I mean, cut it out, guys. Pin a rose on your nose, ’cause I don’t like this “holier than thou” crap. I guess I’m not saintly enough to visit your site, Candace. You don’t want me there? You got it, dude!

02nd Aug2005

Yeah, It’s BASEKetball

by Will

Name That Movie!

And, yes, the following are all from the same movie. It’s just THAT quotable.

“First, we get the jobs. Then, we get the khakis. Then, we get the chicks.”

“Steevvve Perry!”

“It certainly does seem to be raining shit on Joe Cooper right now.”

“Well, you know, it was a team effort…and I guess it took every player, working together, to lose this one.”

“Well, we prefer to think of them as ‘health-challenged’ and ‘survival-impaired’.”

“…and it appears that time just finally ran out for the old cocksucker.”

“If I had a nickel for every time this ball pulled me out of a tight spot, I’d have a shitload of nickels!”

“Wow, the Lord must really have it in for that little boy!”

“You can’t blame me because I have a sweet ass! I can’t help it!”

“I’m letting her know that I’m ready to consider thinking about dating her exclusively.”

“Wake up, bitch. You’re my new best friend.”

“We have sullied the waters of the lagoon of peace. And I’m begging you, for the love of our Carribean brothers, dudes, stop this madness!”

30th Jul2005

Lawdy, Lawdy! Superfly Had A SEQUEL?!

by Will

“Logan would join a limbo contest if it had a redhead in it.”

It’s back! About 6 months ago, I wrote a scathing article about The African Heritage Movie Theatre, and it’s MC’s, Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis. Well, much has changed in that time. Mr. Davis has gone to that theatre in the sky, and Ms. Dee is MIA. So, the franchise has been renamed. Yes, I give you the Uptown Movie Network. And get this: it’s now hosted by Ms. Shar “F you, Federline!” Jackson. But worry not, because they’re still cranking out those movies that make us Black folks feel so proud! This week’s offering: “Superfly T.N.T”

Yes, as if “Superfly” wasn’t enough, someone came up with the bright idea to give us a sequel. But this ain’t yo daddy’s Blaxploitation movie (actually, it’s from 1973, so it probably is…). Don’t look for the ghettos and the Cadillacs. No, allow me to provide you with the movie’s synopsis:

“Superfly comes out of his Roman retirement to free a tiny African nation from the grip of a cruel dictator.”

Oh, Superfly must be a hero, right? Well, for those of you who don’t know the story of Superfly, as depicted in the first movie, let me break it down for ya. Superfly, known as Youngblood Priest, was a cocaine dealer who simply realized he’d had enough of the life. But he needed one last score to provide him with the cash for his escape. So, I guess he used that cash to get to Rome. Yeah…Rome. I didn’t even think they let Black people in Rome in 1973!

Oh, but it gets better. You ever seen a 6’4” Black dude with a perm, dressed from head to toe in horseback riding gear? Better yet, have you ever seen the same guy chase a mugger down narrow Roman streets?You will if you see this movie. I don’t know if Superfly is the most famboyant pimp or the gayest ass kicker, but it certainly is a sight to see.

The highlight of this movie has GOT to be Roscoe Lee Brown, who has one of the most iconic voices in entertainment history. Screw James Earl Jones. Roscoe’s “Kingpin” from the Fox Spider-Man cartoon stomps all over Mr. “This is CNN”. Anyway, Brown plays the part of an African diplomat. Not that it takes much. In this day and age, all you had to do was show up to work. And he does that nicely.

So, why am I ranting? Well, the whole commercial nature of this franchise was to show movies that, supposedly, had a cultural and classic impact on the Black cinematic experience. I understand that there are only so many times one can watch “The Color Purple” and “The Tuskeegee Airmen”, but it’d be more honorable if someone just came out and said, “OK, we’re all out of movies.” Don’t pass this dreck off and try to make people think it means something. Hell, “Superfly T.N.T” doesn’t even come up immediately on an IMDB search. You’ve got to dig to find that bad boy. I guess that’s supposed to make me think it’s a hidden cinematic treasure. Well, I’m on to your game!

“Superfly” had cultural significance. It is one of the more memorable Blaxploitation movies. Was it a “good” movie? I’ll leave that in the eye of the beholder. But it had cultural significance. These were Black made films, for Black audiences. As deplorable as the subject matter may have been, these tales were real to many people. Can’t say the same about “Soul Plane”. But I digress…

But you can’t tell me that Superfly’s sequel holds the same meaning in time. In the words of Judge Judy, “Don’t piss on my knee and tell me it’s raining!” The fool is in Rome! Who came up with this locale? How did a coke dealer become an African savior? I mean, I’m all about redemption, but DAMN!

Everybody knows that a sequel is simply another trip to the well. Typically, you had success, and now you’re trying to milk the idea dry. The “message” was in your first movie, but the sequel is all fo’ da scrilla. With that in mind, any lesson or message to be conveyed was in the first Superfly. And I guess said message was: “if you’re gonna deal, make sure you rollin’ high, and you get yo’ ass to a safe place for the fallout.” OK, I can live with that. A lot of young folks could do well to know that message. But the only message in the sequel is: “if you take your Black ass to Rome, they gonna find you!”

Thanks, “Uptown Movie Network”. I sure am glad y’all decided to show “Graffiti Bridge” instead of “King” back in January. And I really appreciate the effort, but I think I’ll take care of my cultural education on my own. But holla back when y’all start showing reruns of “Girlfriends”…

25th Jul2005

Danny Elfman: The One Trick Pony

by Will

“Be careful, Peter. After all, you’re not Superman, you know!”

So, Shelly and I just saw “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (GREAT movie, by the way), and I realized something: Danny Elfman wrote one song about 16 years ago, and he’s been remixing it ever since.

You ever see “Batman”? That was Danny Elfman composing. We all know the song when we hear it. For some of us, the mere sound of it makes us want to suit up and fight crime. But if you listen carefully, before the main “Bat Riff” breaks out, there’s this creepy, lilting melody. That melody, folks, is the one and only song Elfman has ever composed. He is the 3 Doors Down..no, the Creed of movie score composers.

Go watch “Edward Scissorhands”, also known as the beginning of the Burton-Depp marriage. You hear that score? Sound familiar? Yup, you’ve heard it before.

Seen “Spider-Man”? I know I wasn’t the only one watching the opening credits, thinking, “Hey, this sounds familiar…and, this doesn’t even fit the character of Spidey!” It’s like Sony went to Elfman and asked, “What have you got along the lines of a superhero theme?” And he went back to his studio, and dusted off a cassette labeled “Bat Scraps”.

“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”? Same Elfman “Batman” score.

It’s driving me crazy! You can’t take a song that holds meaning and then just apply it to other properties, all willy-nilly! Right now, I’ve got the image of Batman & Spidey fighting Edward Scissorhands in the middle of a chocolate factory run by skeletons. And I’m not even high!

Maybe it all boils down to budget. If Burton can avoid spending on new music, then that’s more money he can shuttle into Helena Bonham Carter’s heroin addiction. I mean, that shit don’t come cheap. And Burton totally knows how to work a budget. To get a little more insight, let’s look at his upcoming film, “Corpse Bride”.

“Corpse Bride” is billed by some as “the sequel to ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas'”. Same stop animation. Same Burton creepiness. Same Elfman score. But the real humdinger is the voice cast. You see, the vast majority of the cast members are also in “Charlie”. Since it’s only voiceovers, he could’ve recorded that stuff during filming breaks on “Charlie”, and would’ve wound up making the film on a mere shoestring. Critics and audience members alike will love it, and Helena gets more heroin.

I’m on to you, Burton. You and Elfman aren’t fooling me. I know the frickin’ Batman theme when I hear it. Stop using it for all of your movies! You’re crrepy enough as it is, and it’s having an effect on my psychological well-being. You’ve just read what this score-swapping is doing to me, and I can’t fathom Batman fighting an undead bride while Ed Wood films the Martians attacking us. It’s too much! Get off your ass, Elfman, and compose! You wrote the frickin’ “Simpsons” theme for God’s sake! You’ve got more in you. Just slowly step away from the “Batman” theme. We can work this out…

24th Jul2005

Comics Rant: House of M, Gambit, Infinite Crisis, X3, and Blade TV

by Will

“I’m sorry…I know I maybe taste like a cracker.”

Comics Rant

The following will make sense to maybe 2 of my readers. Sorry, but I needed to get this out of my system. But stay tuned, I’m sure I’ll wax philosophic on 90210 or something with a little more of an all-encompassing vibe in the coming days…

MARVEL
-SINISTER IS GAMBIT’S FATHER?!!! Is this in-continuity? Are they gonna keep this development? I mean, it makes sense, but…

-So, you mean to tell me that Hawkeye’s now dead in BOTH universes? I was never a fan of 616 Hawkeye, but Ultimate Hawkeye was kinda noble. Man, Marvel must really hate archers or something…

-So, the Sentry may actually be an amnesiac Thor? That’s an interesting theory…

-Wolverine’s a much cooler Avenger than X-Man. “House of M” only proves this theory. Plus, check out his solo work in “Wolverine”. Last issue, he killed 5,000 people. Yup, you read that correctly.

-Speaking of “House of M”, rumor is that it’s going to knock the number of mutants in the world back down to around 300. In the past few yrs, Marvel went a little apeshit, and EVERYONE was a mutant. Apparently, they want to get back to basics, where mutants were a small group which can be more easily persecuted. Not sure if they’re just gonna depower the muties or kill ’em…

-I hate to say it, but I think Bendis may actually suck now. I mean, he’s writing every book Marvel puts out. They have no regular shipping schedule. And, I’m kinda gettin’ tired of him..

-Finally got around to reading “Marvels”. It was NOT the tour-de-force epic that I’ve been hearing about for the past 10 yrs. Quaint little ditty, but it lacked something…

DC
-“Infinite Crisis” has GOT to restart the DC timeline! Why do I say that? Too many things have happened recently that never should’ve:
1)Luthor knows Superman’s Identity
2)Checkmate knows EVERYONE’s Identities
3)Batman no longer has ANY foes
A) Joker is a broken amnesiac in a traveling circus
B) Two-Face reverted back to Harvey Dent
C) Poison Ivy-Dead
D) Riddler-MIA
E) Bane -reformed
F) R’as Al Ghul – Dead
G)Catwoman – reformed AND knows Bruce is Batman
H)Penguin moved to Bludhaven
I)Scarface -Dead
J)Man-Bat reformed and has a Kid-Bat

4)Did I mention that Jason Todd’s back? For real. Robin II has returned from the dead as The Red Hood II and, with the exception of Hush, is Batman’s only major villain.

MOVIES
-Alan Cumming probably wishes he’d kept his damn mouth shut. He was so excited when he learned that Bryan Singer was no longer directing “X3”. He went on record for several publications, stating how much he disliked working with the man, and how relieved he was that he wouldn’t have to repeat the experience. Well, Fox has decided not to pick up the renewal option in his contract. Which means that neither Mr. Cumming, nor Nightcrawler, will be seen in X-Men 3. Sometimes you’ve gotta wait before you gloat.

-Speaking of X3, the damn teaser poster’s already up in theatres. The movie ain’t even close to being done, and it’s not like they’re going to lack an eager audience. Yet, Marvel still felt it necessary to give you a 24×36 one-sheet of Wolverine’s claws. Thanks, Marvel. ‘Cause you guys make it SO easy for us to forget what Wolverine looks like…

-David Goyer announced he’s developing a “Blade” tv show for Spike. I wonder if Snipes is gonna try to sue…

OK, I think I’m done for now. Just needed to geek out for a minute…