05th Aug2004

Comic Wisdom Via Spider-Man 2

by Will

“Sometimes, to do right, we must give up the things we want most…even our dreams.”

Uncle Ben, Spider-Man 2

29th Jul2004

Bill Clinton: Always Entertaining

by Will

“I am a War President! I sit in the Oval Office, making important decisions, all the time with WAR ON MY MIND!”

-who do you think?

I swear, I missed the Clinton years because that man was an entertaining gentleman. He was a Playa’s Playa. But now, I find The Replacement to be just as entertaining, but in a comedic sort of way. Great comedic timing. Too bad he was being serious….

Anyway, I’d kinda like Clinton & Bush to team up. Just think about it. It’d be like “48 Hours” or “Fastlane”.  I call it “Bushwhacked!” Don’t forget the exclamation point; that’s a very important part of the title! A good “buddy cop” scenario. One guy would be busy chasing skirts, while the other is the tough-as-nails take no guff, “bad cop”, who’s hell-bent on getting his man. Wow, that’d be a great show. Too bad it won’t happen….Well, who knows what’ll happen after November? After all, there was talk of Clinton having his own daytime talkshow at one point. Man, it would’ve sucked for the former POTUS to get stomped by Oprah in the ratings. Either way, I’d look closely at UPN’s next Fall lineup if I were you. You never know what might pop up…

29th Jul2004

Batman Begins Trailer

by Will

Batfans, I give you the future. That’s right, bitches… the trailer is up!

http://batmanbegins.warnerbros.com/

28th Jul2004

Movie/Song/Book of the Moment

by Will

Movie of the Moment: Chasing Amy

Song of the Moment: Blame It On The Weatherman, by B*Witched

Book of the Moment: Blankets, by Craig Thompson

28th Jul2004

Fahrenheit 9/11: See It

by Will

Everybody should see “Fahrenheit 9/11”!!! This is one of my new favorite movies. Wow. PLEASE see this movie! I beg of you, SEE THIS MOVIE!

22nd Jul2004

Comic Movies, Bank Breakup, and the MP3 Site Of Mine That I’ll Probably Forget About

by Will

I’m too lazy for a big post right now, but I figured it was time for an update.

Quick Thoughts:

– Bryan Singer’s directing “Superman”. Yah! …Which means no “X3”. Boo! There goes the X-Men movie franchise..

-Jessica Alba as Sue Storm in “Fantastic Four”? She’s cute and all, but I hate to admit I was more excited when I heard Jessica Simpson was up for the part…

-I started Driver’s Ed this week. Really forgot what it meant to be 15 yr’s old. No, I was NEVER like that, but it sure is weird. i don’t even get these kids. I made a “California Dreams” reference, and the room went silent. Crazy, young whippersnappers…

-Apparently, there’s a Green Lantern movie in the making, but Warner Bros is gonna make it a comedy, and they’re currently talking to Jack Black about starring in it. For every “Spider-Man”, there’s a “Howard The Duck”….

-I ended my sordid 5-year marriage to M&T Bank, due to “Irreconcileable Differences”. When the teller asked why I wanted to close the account, I simply told him, “You know…I just really don’t like you…I mean, the service is terrible, I’m tired of the charges, and you all had a monopoly where I went to college. But now….I just don’t want this anymore.” Best (and only) break-up speech I’ve ever given, thank you very much!

-For you comic kids out there, pick up The Pulse #4. One of the HEAVIEST and MOST POWERFUL talkers in recent years. Very little action, but really adds something to the whole Spider-Man franchise, especially if you’re a continuity buff like me! I LOVE Bendis!

-And for those of you who’re curious, my songs ARE up now, but the links aren’t working for some reason. I made the HTML tags myself, and I was quite proud, but they don’t seem to want to work. So, for now, just copy the URL’s and enjoy my bootlegged goodness. AND, if that doesn’t work, hope on over to http://www.freewebs.com/williambrucewestmusic/

Go easy on me, ’cause it IS a template, but it’s my first personal foray into site building. I made sure to make it the CHEESIEST, most CLICHE site around. It’s got a midi and a bubble effect. All I need now is a counter, guestbook, and a bunch of Hello Kitty shout-outs to all my girls in my ballet class.I’m not even sure it’ll stick around, but I really needed a place to store these mp3s. So, click and enjoy. Or hate. Either way, drop me a line and tell me what you think.

-Go see “Anchorman”!!! Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Funnier than Sealab, Family Guy, or Best Week Ever. Even if you hate those shows, GO SEE IT!!!

18th Jul2004

Will & JJ’s Ho Hunt

by Will

Wow, it’s been a long time since an adventure like THAT! So, last night was quite a night…

First off, my day started kinda shitty ’cause I was late to work for reasons that I couldn’t control, yet they still wrote me up for it. I started the whole “I’m too good for this shit, why am I here, I really gotta leave this place” stuff in my head. Then, out of nowhere, I started getting all these compliments.

We have this thing called a “Snap Board” where people give you “snaps” for doing something good. I saw that I had 3 new snaps for stuff I hadn’t even realized I’d done. I was like, “Wow, they really like me”..Still too good for that place, though.

So, we were all trying to hang out after work ’cause one of the guys had a friend in town, and he wanted to have a big group go out. We were going to Dave & Buster’s, but at the last minute, he decided to go to Apex. That’s the curse of being the only straight male in the H&M Corporation. I was NOT going to Apex ’cause I didn’t feel like dealing with all of that, so I opted out.

Now, from the producers of “Dude, Where’s My Car?” and “Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle”, comes “Will & JJ’s ‘Ho Hunt”. It’s not as misogynistic as it sounds, but it is a literal definition of what happened next. We got bored, and were just driving around, as we found ourselves downtown, around K & 12th Streets. Anyone from this region knows what that meant; politicians ain’t the only thing downtown. All of a sudden, prostitutes were coming out of the woodwork. The service roads were backed up with dudes pulling over trying to get a little lovin’.

We were stopped behind a minvan @ a traffic light, when suddenly, a ‘ho just pops out of the side door, adjusting her outfit. I swear, I BET a segment of the Bang Bus was happening right in front of us, and we never even knew it.

So, as we keep driving, trying to get back to MD, more and more hookers. Then, the cops came. They started taping off the service roads so the ‘hos would have nowhere to pick up Johns. Then, they started stopping the younger looking ones, lecturing them about the dangers. It was just like it happens on “COPS”.

The crowning moment of the night was when we saw a guy running out of the alley, smiling like it was his birthday, as he pulled up his pants. JJ’s golden statement? “Dude, he just got served!”

Finally got out of Gomorrah, and passed out at home around 6 AM. Man, that was fun….

17th Jul2004

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever – A Review

by Will

I’m going to venture into territory I don’t much explore: the movie review.

Tonight’s victim: “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”
Let me just say that this is a very good bad movie. What do I mean? I mean, as far as bad movies go, this one does a great job of being a bad movie. It’s so bad, you have to like it, just for the facts that A) someone had the audacity to film it and B) some studio head was coked out of his mind enough to buy it. Kinda like “Center Stage”…man, did that movie try hard!

Let’s see..what’s this movie about? Well, Antonio Banderas is a former special agent, reinstated to bring in Lucy Liu, who’s believed to be some kind of crazy killer. After a whole bunch of plot twists, it becomes “Ecks Teams Up With Sever”, without the predictable romantic subtext. In fact, very little chemistry develops between the two due to Lucy’s 20-line limit in the movie. I swear, if she got standard union rate, Lucy Liu only made about $5,000 from this movie.

Best line of the movie: “Some women buy shoes…” Trust me, it makes sense if you hate your life enough to watch this movie.

Best part of the movie: Sever kills Darth Maul. I don’t care what Lucy’s character’s name is, she’s always “the bitch from Ally McBeal”. Talk about typecast. Anyway, during this scene, all I could think was, “I’ll bet Callista Flockhart awkwardly walks around the corner any minute!”

Asian-American director, Kaos, does a great job downplaying the obvious minority stereotypes, yet this time PC=crappy movie. Sorry, Kaos.

Now, don’t get me wrong. As much as I’m bashing this thing, understand that I still enjoyed it. In fact, I want a sequel! Call me a glutton for punishment. I think they could milk a trilogy out of this! Then again, I’m the guy who’s still waiting for a sequel to “Super Mario Bros”! I mean, c’mon, the friggin’ Princess needed their help again!

Speaking of bad movies, why do studios load DVDs with useless special features? My biggest gripe is when they list “interactive menu” as a special feature. I mean, isn’t that a pre-req of the DVD format? And how “interactive” can it get? They might as well just say “responds to remote control button press”. This little gem of a movie had the balls to include a “making of” featurette. Nothing quite like watching the creation of a bad movie, following said bad movie. Of course, everyone’s thinking, “I wonder what the hell that guy was thinking?” Well, here it is. Now you know, and everyone’s laughing ’cause they all “had such fun filming this movie”. I’d have fun too if I was being paid millions for MY shit.

17th Jul2004

Marvel vs Disney

by Will

I’m beginning to think Marvel Enterprises LOVES the courtroom. They’re involved in so much litigation, I’m surprised they haven’t tried to make a comic/movie franchise out of their trials. First, Marvel sues Sony. Then, Stan Lee sues Marvel. Now, the big one….

Marvel vs. Disney!

This is like “Allah vs. God”. There’s no real winner here, since they’re both guilty of similar transgressions, and they both seem poised for world domination. Although, Disney never seems to lose these kinds of affairs.

Apparently, when Disney bought ABC Family from Fox and Haim Saban, Marvel got screwed over since Disney got to continue to show Marvel programming, such as the Spider-Man , X-Men & Hulk cartoons. At the same time, Disney got tons of mileage out of these shows, while preferring to promote shit like Beyblade; basically Disney only promoted Disney shows. Well, Marvel wants it’s cut. And, frankly, they deserve it. But I don’t know if Disney’s gonna see it that way. Meanwhile, Haim Saban’s wiping his ass with twenties, still wondering how such a whacked-out concept like “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” (I still love you, baby!) made him a billionaire…

09th Jul2004

Sounds A Lot Better Than “iMesh”…

by Will

I think BET, or VIBE, or The Source should create a file-sharing program and call it “Soulsearch”. Watch someone steal this idea from me in the next few months….