22nd Jul2004

Comic Movies, Bank Breakup, and the MP3 Site Of Mine That I’ll Probably Forget About

by Will

I’m too lazy for a big post right now, but I figured it was time for an update.

Quick Thoughts:

– Bryan Singer’s directing “Superman”. Yah! …Which means no “X3”. Boo! There goes the X-Men movie franchise..

-Jessica Alba as Sue Storm in “Fantastic Four”? She’s cute and all, but I hate to admit I was more excited when I heard Jessica Simpson was up for the part…

-I started Driver’s Ed this week. Really forgot what it meant to be 15 yr’s old. No, I was NEVER like that, but it sure is weird. i don’t even get these kids. I made a “California Dreams” reference, and the room went silent. Crazy, young whippersnappers…

-Apparently, there’s a Green Lantern movie in the making, but Warner Bros is gonna make it a comedy, and they’re currently talking to Jack Black about starring in it. For every “Spider-Man”, there’s a “Howard The Duck”….

-I ended my sordid 5-year marriage to M&T Bank, due to “Irreconcileable Differences”. When the teller asked why I wanted to close the account, I simply told him, “You know…I just really don’t like you…I mean, the service is terrible, I’m tired of the charges, and you all had a monopoly where I went to college. But now….I just don’t want this anymore.” Best (and only) break-up speech I’ve ever given, thank you very much!

-For you comic kids out there, pick up The Pulse #4. One of the HEAVIEST and MOST POWERFUL talkers in recent years. Very little action, but really adds something to the whole Spider-Man franchise, especially if you’re a continuity buff like me! I LOVE Bendis!

-And for those of you who’re curious, my songs ARE up now, but the links aren’t working for some reason. I made the HTML tags myself, and I was quite proud, but they don’t seem to want to work. So, for now, just copy the URL’s and enjoy my bootlegged goodness. AND, if that doesn’t work, hope on over to http://www.freewebs.com/williambrucewestmusic/

Go easy on me, ’cause it IS a template, but it’s my first personal foray into site building. I made sure to make it the CHEESIEST, most CLICHE site around. It’s got a midi and a bubble effect. All I need now is a counter, guestbook, and a bunch of Hello Kitty shout-outs to all my girls in my ballet class.I’m not even sure it’ll stick around, but I really needed a place to store these mp3s. So, click and enjoy. Or hate. Either way, drop me a line and tell me what you think.

-Go see “Anchorman”!!! Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Funnier than Sealab, Family Guy, or Best Week Ever. Even if you hate those shows, GO SEE IT!!!

10th Jul2004

1 Year Bloggin’ and Why I Chose The Name For The Site

by Will

HAPPY BLOG BIRTHDAY!!!!

Not only does today commemorate my one year anniversary of blogging, but this is also my 175th post! Boy, do I love a good milestone!

Wow, one whole year! A year ago, I was basically married, bitter @ the world, and living in Ithaca. Today, I’m completely divorced, bitter @ the world, and living in MD. “The more things change, the more they stay the same”. For the people no longer with us, I guess you can say they helped to “usher” in this new era…

So, I guess you’re saying, “Williambrucewest.com has only been around since April.” Yes, you’re right, but a handful of you know that, prior to April, I posted to a site known as “The World According to A Russian Exchange Student”. Those people have commented, “Will, even though you were an exchange student to Russia, you weren’t Russian, so the title’s incorrect.” Well, to clarify, originally, I was sort of ashamed of some of the stuff I was posting. Initially, I wanted to sort of hide behind a pseudonym, so I had planned to post under the guise of the exchange student who came to live with me.

You see, in my opinion, there’s nothing cuter than a foreigner who doesn’t have a grasp on America and the English language. Yes, that may sound exploitative, but I love when someone learning English will ask, “How do you say…?” While my exchange student stayed with us, he had a lot of valuable insight on the US, while at the same time he said things that were just too funny for words. In the early days of blogging, whenever I’d read an off-the wall news article, I’d wonder, “What would Sergei have to say about this?”. Well, as interesting an idea as that was, you can only walk in another man’s shoes for so long, and I kind of abandoned the “human interest” aspect of blogging. Instead, it was Punky Brewster this and Nsync that. Honestly, I’d rather stay away from the whole “Man, the world/America is so f-ed up” ’cause that’s what James & Jenn are for. They’re in the links, so check ’em out. At the same time, there’s just not enough forums for pop culture, so by-gummit, I’m here to stay.

We’re just getting started, and I’m only getting crazier, so I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride so far, and get ready for more years to come. I still don’t have a clue as to who’s reading this thing, but I do know about 5 of you have been here since the beginning, and I’d just like ya to know it means a lot to me, you mysterious masked marvels. Here’s to next year, and hopefully, post #500!

09th Jul2004

Sounds A Lot Better Than “iMesh”…

by Will

I think BET, or VIBE, or The Source should create a file-sharing program and call it “Soulsearch”. Watch someone steal this idea from me in the next few months….

09th Jul2004

I REALLY Wanna See “1 Night In Paris”…

by Will

Am I wrong for wanting to own “1 Night In Paris?” At least , see it?!!! I haven’t seen it, nor have I seen the R. Kelly tape, and I gotta tell ya, I feel left out in the cold!

How is pop culture guru supposed to be at the top of his game if he hasn’t seen the source of the latest sex scandal?!! Now, I missed the R. Kelly tape, I’m missing out on Paris, and now I hear about this Cameron Diaz tape. Was EVERYONE in need of money? How did they NOT think these things would surface? And here I am, like a perv, trying to track them down…

06th Jul2004

Open Letter To Usher

by Will

Dear Usher,

You’re an asshole. What? You need me to clarify? Ok, let’s get a few things straight.

I don’t even know Chili, but I feel for what you did to her. In fact, I see what you’re really doing here. Oh yeah, you’re “confessing”. you’re so sorry! How sorry were you on top of the Billboard chart?!! It’s one thing to fuck up, it’s another thing to come clean about it. OK, you told the truth. You think you’re off the hook? You’re not. You were only supposed to tell Chili. Not the world. You’re using this whole thing for personal gain! And you wanted her to take you back?!! Damn, you’re a dumb asshole.

So, let me get this straight: You’re not happy anymore, and it’s not going anywhere, so y’all just needed to “let it burn”, right? But then, you get a bitch pregnant, and suddenly Black Justin (I know you’ll hate that!) ain’t ready to be a daddy? Boo-hoo!

Why am I so angry with you? ‘Cause I just watched a BET stretch of all your “Confessions” videos. When you see ’em back to back, the sincerity goes out the window.

Well, I guess you’re a man now. You came clean. I guess you figure all is forgiven, eh? Well, that’s between you and Chili. You know what I think, Usher? I hope T-Boz and Chili go to some old voodoo priestess, have her conjure up the ghost of Left-Eye, just so she come drag your ass down to Hell. Then we’ll “let it burn”…

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan

05th Jul2004

I Told Y’all I Used To Be Somebody!

by Will

Here’s an interesting exchange from my day @ work:

Cute girl comes up to register.

Cute Girl: “Hey, did you just graduate from Cornell?”

Me: (Bewildered) “Yeah…about a year ago…”

CG: “And you sang with Last Call?”

Me: “…Yeah…”

CG: “I thought so! I’m a friend of John Cape. I turned around, and I was like, ‘Wow, a celebrity sighting!'”

Me: “Wow…well, unfortunately this is more like the ‘Behind the Music’ phase of my life…”

28th Jun2004

Hova’s Idolatry?

by Will

OK, I’ve got a conspiracy theory. Bear with me here: American Idol Finalist Kimberly Locke’s single is called “8th World Wonder”. Ok, the other day, I’m listening to JAY-Z Unplugged, and he refers to himself as “The 8th World Wonder”. So, does this mean Jigga’s cheatin on Beyonce with Kim Locke? Is her song a coded confession, kinda like Usher’s, but with tact? Hey, I’d take Kim over Beyonce! Don’t ask why…

28th Jun2004

My A Cappella Role Model

by Will

It’s interesting how are dreams aren’t as sweet once we achieve them. The other day, I started thinking back to the “glory days” of Cornell, mainly a cappella. I thought about my idol, Chris Shepard.

Chris sang with the Binghamton Crosbies, and he was my vocal role model. He had a great voice, but women thought he was ONE HOT NEGRO!!! There aren’t many Black guys in a cappella. The quota’s about 1 per group, IF that, so he was a big deal to me. When he sang, there needed to be complimentary towels for all the women in the house ’cause there was more cream filling than a Twinkie abounding (graphic, yes, but also accurate). His signature song was “I’d Die Without You”, by PM Dawn.

Ask anyone in LC, I wanted to be Chris Shepard. I wanted his voice, his rep, everything. I also figured his girlfriend must’ve been really hot. Well, one after party, I met her, and well, she was actually pretty frumpy. Infact, I was a little disappointed. But hey, you can’t choose who ya love, right? I guess I was being shallow. Still, I’m sure he had to deal with a lot of “Why is he with her?” going on behind his back.

He was hot, could sing, and had a girl. He had it all, right? Well, I started thinking back to my latter days, and how it never quite dawned on me that I had, in effect, become Chris, without even realizing it. And it wasn’t as sweet. And I think I know what he went through. By no means, am I saying I was HOT and AMAZING (I don’t think like that), but I DO feel I can say I know how he probably felt, and it wasn’t such a superstar wonderland as I had thought it would be. Really wish I’d exploited it more…

17th Jun2004

Callboy Engagements, The Boss?, The Lemon-Lime Union, “Planned” Parenthood?, and Hater Gal Pals

by Will

Random Things That Have Been On My Mind Today:

-So, it seems that ALL of Next Call are engaged! Seeing as how they’re only about 3 and 4 years older than me, it’s kind scary. Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy for the guys, but it’s like some weird longitudinal study coming to a head. I swear, like 8 of ’em got engaged in the past 2 months. Is there some race I don’t know about? Is this one of those Callboy traditions y’all forgot to tell us at the Chariot? Someone explain this to me!

-What exactly is Bruce Springsteen “The Boss” of?!!

-Why are lemon and lime always bunched together? What bastard did this to them? Now, it seems that they’re inexplicably linked, with no lives of their own. What if lime wants to go solo? Did anyone ever think of that?

-Why is it called “Planned Parenthood”? I’ve yet to hear of anyone going there because of a “planned” event. But I guess, “Shit, it broke!” or, “Damn, I ain’t even got my GED” wouldn’t look as professional on a sign…

-Girls, do NOT go shopping with your friends. I don’t care how long you’ve known them, or how much you’ve been through. Bottom line: your friends are bitches. They may act like they like you, but they only like you a little less than they like themselves. You’ll never be equal. Case in point. When shopping, so many girls’ll tell their friends: “You look GREAT in that! It’s SOOO Cute.” No, it’s not. She just wants to look better than you, and she’s ensuring that by exploiting your vulnerability. Most of the time, that dress just really accentuates your rolls or your “Christmas package”. You know what I’m talking about. It’s that region you hate most about yourself. And this dress doesn’t hide that. But Jill won’t tell you. Oh yeah, Jill’s also been going down on your boyfriend. Who’re you gonna look cute for now?!!

-Excelsior! to Marvel Enterprises! After a rough decade, y’all have finally gotten out of bankruptcy. With Spider-Man 2 coming in a few weeks, things can only get better. Yet, with all the shittier movies you’re planning, like Man-Thing, Iron Man, and Elektra, I’m sure we’ll be hearing another bankruptcy announcement in a few more months…

14th Jun2004

Last Call DC: Karaoke Thaiphoon!

by Will

Had a GREAT evening with LC/DC! Levow, Mike, Bill, John, Lip and I met up at Thaiphoon in Du Pont Circle for dinner (for the record, don’t go to Thaiphoon! Bland City). After dinner, I conned them into heading over to my stomping ground, Cafe Japone, for some Karaoke.

We did the whole ringer thing of “Wow, I think I might sing Drops of Jupiter…I’ve never sung that before!” Anyway, the place wasn’t exactly packed, so we were basically singing to this woman and her husband.

Funny thing about Japone: Ran into Tanya from the other night; didn’t recognize me….And I thought we had something special! *sniff* Well, it just goes to show you can’t sustain anything meaningful with a girl you meet at a party or a bar…

Anyway, we must’ve sang every song on Vestosterone, and then some. Eventually I had to dip because I had to make the last train. Boy, it sure will be nice when I don’t have to play Cinderella anymore…

Anydangway, it was a great night, and now that I know these guys are in town, hopefully it’ll be the first of many.