26th Sep2003

Did He Die From His Addiction To Love?

by Will

Wow, Death’s working overtime in September. Today we mourn the loss of Mr. Robert Palmer. If that name is unfamiliar to you, just think back to when you were little, perhaps catching primitive MTV or listening to the radio. Mr. Palmer was a Simply Irresistible guy who was Addicted to Love. To a child of the 80s, this is quite a blow. I know I’ll miss him.

21st Sep2003

I’m Burning Up The Charts

by Will

Woot! My song has been downloaded 6 times by now. You’ve heard of gold and silver. My single’s gonna go copper!

21st Sep2003

1st Single: “Marina”

by Will

Wanna hear my first single? Then you’re in luck:

21st Sep2003

Am I In The Band Now? Introducing E7

by Will

So, it seems that I’m in a band now. Wait…don’t laugh! It’s not like Aerosmith or anything. We’re called “E7”. At the moment, I sing leads while guitar is taken care of by Mr. Tarek Sultani and bass is covered by Carl….I forgot his last name. Anyway, we’re more of a garage outfit. I think of us as a sort of Cornell “California Dreams”. The other guys are taking it a lot more seriously than I. They’re trying to get an album’s worth of songs, while I was just called in to do one track.

The track came out nicely, and I’m more proud of it than anything I’ve recorded with LC. This solo stuff is hard. I feel like Nick Lachey. I mean, I know I’m not by myself, but I’m the only one singing, so I might as well be solo. In any case, this gives me something to do. Probably not gonna be my big break, but I can at least start piling up potential demos or something. Then, when the time is right, I’m gonna drop those guys and TRULY go solo! Muhuhahahahahaha!!!

20th Sep2003

“We’re Just Ted Fans”

by Will

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Remember when I used to be in an a cappella group? ‘Cause apparently no one around here does. Tonight, I’m at the mall with Eric and Ted and some girls turn around as we’re leaving the place.

“Are you Ted?” they ask. Ted, bewildered, tells that he is one and the same. They start giggling and ask, “You’re in Last Call aren’t you?” He answers, “Yeah….but so are these guys,” pointing at me and Eric.

“Yeah, we know,” they say while ignoring Eric and me. “We’re just Ted fans.”

Wow.

Ted hasn’t had a song in about 3 years!!! These chicks are freshmen and they don’t know me?!! It sucks ’cause all I have to show for my time at Cornell is a 2.9 GPA and 4 years in a group that doesn’t even appreciate me!

Does no one respect their elders anymore? I helped make that group what it is, and no one currently realizes that. It’s not even what they said, but how they said it.

I know I’m overreacting, but I have very little from my college days to be proud of. Now, just 3 weeks after I formally leave the group, and a mere week since I’ve been taken off the website, I’ve been forgotten.

Hey bitches, I’ve got a surprise for ya. Ted isn’t even in the group anymore. For some reason, those tards just forgot to take him off the site. It’s OK, though. There’s still some really cute Hangovers to lust after.

11th Sep2003

RIAA Crackdown Trackdown

by Will

According to msn.com, the following songs are among those the RIAA is using to track down file-sharers.

• Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

• Thompson Twins, “Hold Me Now”

• Eagles, “Hotel California”

• George Michael, “Kissing A Fool”

• Paula Abdul, “Knocked Out”

• Green Day, “Minority”

• UB40, “Red Red Wine”

• Ludacris “Area Codes”

• Marvin Gaye, “Sexual Healing”

• Avril Lavigne, “Complicated”

If you’ve recently downloaded any of these songs, your ass is grass. Looking at the list, though (with the exception of the great Marvin Gaye), I feel that you deserve everything that’s coming to you.

08th Sep2003

Gonna Make A Go At The Music Industry

by Will

Yeah….jobs really suck. I think I’m gonna try this music thing. Might not work out, but I’ll always regret it if I don’t. In a few years, this post’ll either make me laugh or make me cry. I just wanna be famous 🙁

15th Aug2003

Hey, Paisanos!

by Will

Hey, Paisanos! It’s the Super Mario Brothers Super Show!

We’re the Mario Brothers

And plumbing’s our game

We’re not the the others

Who get all the fame

If your sink is in trouble

You can call us on the double

We’re faster than the others

You’ll be hooked on the brothers

Gimme, gimme, gimme gimme!

You’re in for a treat

So hold on to your seat.

Get ready for adventures and remarkable feats.

You’ll meet Koopas, the Troopas, the Princess, and the others

Hangin’ with the plumbers, you’ll be hooked on the brothers!

To the brink! Uh! Uh! Huh, huh, I said hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooked on the Brothers (the brothers, the brothers)!

Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it’s time to go. Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let’s do the Mario, all together now! You got it! It’s the Mario! Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it’s time to go. Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let’s do the Mario, all together now! Come on now. Just like that!

If you’re still wondering what this is all about, then go here:

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Maze/7907/super_show.html

23rd Jul2003

Maybe A Dingo Ate Your Fiance

by Will

As if I didn’t already hate the Beach Boys, the annoying girl in the office just professed her love for them. Rather, it was phrased, “Oh my God, do you have more Beach Boys? You know their song, ‘Little St. Nick’ that they only play on oldies radio stations around Christmas? That song is SO CUTE. My boyfriend’s family love that song and they used to play it all the time.” I swear this girl is out to prove she’s a hetero girl. Everytime I turn around, it’s “My boyfriend, my boyfriend”. She’s so overkill about it. She’s always talking about how her exes won’t answer her when she IMs them. Ok, we get it! You’ve had boyfriends. From an HD perspective, she hasn’t had very many or else she wouldn’t talk about them all the damn time! Instead, she’d realize that we don’t give two shits about them or her history with them. She’s starting to sound like the Seinfeld episode where the woman keeps going on about her fiance. “Where’s my fiance? Where could he have gone?” Finally, Elaine answers, “Maybe a dingo ate your fiance.” Well, I wish a dingo would eat this chick’s boyfriend, as well as her annoying ass.

23rd Jul2003

I Just Saw Partial Nudity on CMT!

by Will

When did Country Music Television get so hot?!! That mess is steamier than MTV’s been in years. Woke up this morning and saw the controversial “I Melt” video by Rascal Flatts. Let’s just say there’s something in that video for everyone. Definitely not the healthiest way to start my day, but I’m not complaining. On another note, where the fuck is my “Seduction of the Innocent”? I swear if that guy ripped me off….