19th Apr2004

24 Is Social Commentary On How We Should Never Have A Black President

by Will

Did anybody see “24” last night?!! I can’t believe Jack killed Chappelle! Normally, we complain when TV shows threaten to do something big and reneg at the last minute. Not “24”. They delivered, and I actually find myself feeling sorrow for the shrewd, anal, arrogant boss of CTU we’ve come to hate over the past 3 seasons.

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: “24” is social commentary on how we should never have a Black president.” Ever since David Palmer entered the presidential arena, this country has witnessed 3 of the worst days in the history of the world. Now, I have to admit that this is the first season where they’re not convincing me that all of this action is taking place within the span of a 24 hr period. I feel like this drama has been dragged out over the course of months. Regardless, the message is the same: Black president = F’ed up America.

Many of you are probably asking, “How can you say that, Will? You’re Black!”. Well, I’m also honest. This country is no more ready for a Black president than a Black man is ready to be president. Who almost got him impeached last season? His bitch of a wife. Strong Black woman my butt! Who’s costing him reelection this season? His player of a brother/chief of staff who can’t keep business and pleasure separate.

Now, I know you’re saying, “Well, nothing here has occurred that didn’t happen during any Kennedy Administration.” You’re correct. In fact, I might say that the Kennedy Dynasty have come the closest to emulating the drama of “24”, but I feel that David Palmer (I refuse to call him “Mr. President”) is the sole reason for all of these catastrophes. Either that, or someone really loves having Kiefer Sutherland jump through hoops.

OK, here’s my new theory: some Kiefer Sutherland-loving, racist, is behind these nefarious events that are plaguing the Palmer Presidency.

Man, I really need some sleep soon.

30th Dec2003

Miserable Failure

by Will

Hehe. Bored? You must be if you’re reading this. Anyway, looking for something funny? Go to Google. Type “miserable failure”, and click “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

13th Aug2003

How Are Fox News and Fox Network Cut From The Same Cloth?

by Will

Can someone explain something to me? How is it that Fox News is SO UBER conservative, with its Ann Coulter interviews and Mr. Bill O’Reilly, calling for the deaths of the heathenist liberals. At the same time, the Fox Network, also owned by Rupert Murdoch, is the most debasing, trashiest force on network television (for all you novices, “network” only applies to Fox and the alphabet nets, not the cable outlets.). I mean, Fox created the reality-show, with COPS all those years ago, and with the Worlds Deadliest Animal/Babies/Golf Carts/Natural Distasters/Police Chase Specials. I know that UPN is more deplorable, but thats just due to lack of good programming. Fox, on the other hand, is almost trying to outdo itself with “how low can you get” shows. Sure, Joe Millionaire was a hit, but it was a horrible testament to morality, as well as the human condition. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE FOX! I’ve been there since it’s inception in 1987 with Married…with Children. But I don’t see how such bastard children can come from the same father. Does Murdoch keep Fox around so that his News Dept has cannon fodder for debate?

13th Aug2003

Letter To Ann Coulter

by Will

Man, do I hate Ann Coulter, but this guy obviously hates her more, and his hatred is funnier:


My favorite line is: “Oh, my jackbooted and jackal-headed succubus, your unqualified prostitution and unspeakable debasement of the soul have set the bar so high. How do you do it, girl?”

He really drives it home with: “pps: now that Uday Hussein is out of the picture, are you dating anyone new?”