31st Jan2014

West Week Ever – 1/31/14

by Will




So, I guess you could say that I’m still on a comedy kick. To be more precise, I’m on a Mike Birbiglia kick. It all started last Friday, as I was listening to the Comedy Central Drive Home, and they were playing Mike’s special Sleepwalk With Me Live. It was really good, and I actually related to him at a few parts. Well, I had to go into Walmart and ended up missing a good chunk of the show. When I got home, I found Sleepwalk With Me on Netflix. It turns out that wasn’t the same special. No, it was actually a movie version of the special, where names had been changed, etc, etc. It mainly focuses on the rise and fall of Mike’s relationship with his college sweetheart, Abby. Still, I ended up watching it and really enjoyed it. Since I wasn’t sleepy yet, I decided to watch his most recent special, My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend, where Mike talks about how he doesn’t believe in marriage and thinks it’s a chaotic, antiquated concept. The special ends, however, *SPOILER ALERT* with him telling us that he had, in fact gotten married. Though he doesn’t believe in marriage, he’s still giving it a try and taking it one day at a time. I really enjoy Birbiglia’s work because he’s very relateable and a great storyteller. I wasn’t as much of a fan of My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend, but I highly recommend Sleepwalk With Me.


So, I’m still watching Portlandia. In fact, it got really good. I’m used to the characters now, and I actually have favorites. There’s a hilarious episode revolving around Battlestar Galactica, where we see our first black Portlanders (“I want these white people outta my kitchen!”). I’m in the second season now, and it took me that long to realize that Armisen is supposed to be a woman in the women’s bookstore series. I mean, it’s a women’s bookstore! Still, I just thought he was an effeminate man. My bad. My least favorite skits involve the Mayor, as the show turns into some kinda campy, kid’s public television show whenever he’s around. Plus, I’ve got questions. Do Fred and Carrie share a house in Portland? Are they just roommates? Do they actually live in Portland, or is it a place to which they escape for its quirkiness? Why don’t they seem to have jobs? I mean, we know what Fred does, but what does Carrie do for money? SO many questions! Anyway, I’m powering through to the end, so this won’t be the last Portlandia report from me.


Yay, my favorite interracial TV family is back! There’s a new Cheerios commercial airing during the Super Bowl Sunday, but since we live in the future, everything gets leaked before its time. Here’s the commercial:

They’re having a baby! I love that little girl so much. I hope my little halfy daughter is just like her one day.

Former Pizza Hut_opt

My new favorite website is Used To Be a Pizza Hut, and the name is pretty self explanatory. Readers submit pictures of establishments that clearly used to be Pizza Hut restaurants. It’s a great way to kill time, and I plan to submit a few myself pretty soon.

Here’s a pretty cool version of the Mega Man 2 theme:

Look at this! It’s called a Quokka. I got this from my Twitter pal @shankjackbel. I must own one of these!



Ya know who had a great week? Ryan Lewis. “Who’s Ryan Lewis,” you ask? That’s just why he had a great week: his anonymity. Ryan Lewis is the other half of rap duo Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. As the group’s producer, Lewis is a bit of a silent partner, while Macklemore’s flamboyance tends to steal the spotlight. The duo cleaned up Sunday night at the Grammys, winning Best New Artist, Best Rap Song, Best Rap Album, and Best Rap Performance. A lot of people felt that three of those categories should have gone to black artists, and it started the discussion of white appropriation of rap music. What was a great night for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis turned into a bad week, as everyone started questioning whether or not the duo was worthy of the awards that they won. Hip hop heads mentioned several acts that never won a Grammy, but should have, including the Wu-Tang Clan. It’s said that Macklemore himself tweeted an apology to his fellow nominee Kendrick Lamar after beating him. Then the debate turned to whether or not Macklemore had anything to apologize for. Anyway, while all this was going on, Ryan Lewis was having his cake and eating it too. He had all the same awards, but none of the spotlight. I’m sure it sucked when Macklemore got all the good publicity, but I’m sure Lewis is reveling in his background status at the moment. All eyes are on Macklemore and the debate rages on, but Ryan’s name rarely comes up. That’s why Ryan Lewis had the West Week Ever.

17th Jan2014

West Week Ever – 1/17/14

by Will




I didn’t watch anything on Netflix this week, but I used the time to catch up on some TV. First up, I watched Enlisted on Fox. Someone on Twitter said that it’s basically Stripes: The TV Series, and they weren’t wrong. It focuses on a war hero who, due to insubordination, gets bumped down to a Rear Detachment unit back home with his two brothers. He’s dying to get back to combat, and his Rear D unit is made up of a bunch of underachievers. By the end of the episode, however, he learns that Rear D is a valuable unit, as they take care of the families of the soldiers who’ve been deployed. The show was really funny and has a lot of heart. I’d expect big things if Fox had put it on Tuesday with the rest of their comedies. Instead, it’s being burned off on Friday nights with Raising Hope. The numbers weren’t too good for the premiere, but Fox execs say they’re committed to it for its initial 13-episode run. You should definitely add it to your DVR.


I caught the 2-episode season premiere of Girls, and I still can’t figure out how I feel about the show. I don’t have HBO, but luckily they put the episodes on their official YouTube channel. I thought this meant that certain things would be censored. After all, when I watched the free preview of the House of Lies pilot, there were black bars over all the naughty bits. I was wrong to think that was going to happen here. Despite YouTube’s content rules, nothing about the Girls episodes was changed. We still saw Lena Dunham’s sad little boobies, and we also saw Jessa go down on another girl – all on free, non-age verified YouTube. I was kinda impressed by the balls on that decision. Anyway, the titular girls are still deplorable, and Adam’s even weirder than before. Nice cameo by Amy Schumer, but that didn’t really help the need for diversity on that show. Shoshanna’s still my favorite character, though this article points out that she seems to have no real motivation for being there.


How I Met Your Mother‘s writers must’ve just said “Fuck it. It’s the last season.” No, I’m not talking about the quality of the writing, but I’m referring to the fact that this week’s episode was full-on yellowface. If you’re familiar with the show, then you probably know about the Slap Bet – Marshall won a bet with Barney and won the opportunity to slap Barney, as hard as he could, over the course of what became 8 slaps. In the continuity of the show, there’s always been some build-up to the slaps, and they tend to happen on “Slapsgiving”. Well, this season, in “Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra”, the writers went full retard and told a tale of Marshall traveling to Shanghai to learn the Slap of A Million Exploding Suns. Yes, every chop socky Asian trope is displayed in the episode, and it even includes Ted looking like this:

slapsgivingThe creators have, since, apologized, but it’s a sour note for the show to go out on. After all, the series finale is in March, and this isn’t the kind of legacy that it should leave behind. I tend not to take things too seriously, but even I was watching the episode like, “Oh, shit. They’re really doing this?”


It was announced on Wednesday that the 1966 Batman TV show would finally be released on DVD. This is a big deal because the rights have been tied up forever, as Warner Bros owns Batman, yet Fox owned the show. That said, I still feel like this was the worst-kept secret in Hollywood, as it was pretty obvious this was going to happen due to the onslaught of Batman ’66 merchandising over the past year. We’ve gotten everything from comics to action figures to Barbie dolls. There was no reason to be pimping an almost 50 yr old show if the DVD thing wasn’t happening. Still, as excited as people seem to be about the DVDs, I don’t really get it. I mean, if you really wanted them, you have them already. I bought my complete series for $40 at a comic show. Sure, it’s bootleg, but the quality’s just fine. I know that I’m not alone, so I feel that the extras are really going to make or break this set. There are folks lining up already, saying “Take my money”, but I’m gonna need to learn more about this before I get too excited.


From here on out, I will be referring to the star of 12 Years A Slave as “Chitlin Ejector”. I can’t pronounce his real name, and I feel his new name is urban, yet futuristic.


I had a bit of a milestone this week, as I got the most hits I’ve ever had in the history of the site. No, it wasn’t West Week Ever that did it. It turns out that a 10-year old post of mine was linked by NPR’s Code Switch blog. If you’ve never gone that far back in my archives (or you just don’t feel like clicking that link), I posted a quote from John Byrne’s message board where he gave his opinion of Jessica Alba being cast as Sue Storm. And he also said that he thinks Latinas with blonde hair look like hookers. Since his message board archive doesn’t go back that far, it seems like my snapshot of the conversation is one of the last remaining pieces of evidence that it ever existed. Anyway, the Code Switch blog was discussing race and identity in comics (you should totally read it!), and that link drove my traffic through the roof. I’m still feeling the residual effects of it, so welcome, new readers, if this is your first taste of West Week Ever.

When I wrote West Year Ever, I omitted another event that took place in 2013: my good friends James and Jenn came to visit. Jenn helped create this site, while you can see James in the Wonder Woman video clip I’ve been posting. Anyway, I didn’t have a pic of their visit, so they got no mention. Still, you can follow them on twitter: @snoopyjenkins (James) and @reappropriate (Jenn).

In Case You Missed It This Week

Track Star: Mr. Mister Vs. Boy Meets Girl


On Monday, it was announced that Michael Douglas will be playing Hank Pym in Marvel’s Ant-Man movie. This is a pretty big deal for two reasons. First of all, the tabloids had Douglas on deathwatch just a year ago, so it’s great that he’s not only still with us, but ready to tackle such a meaty role. It’s also important because it means that Paul Rudd will actually be portraying the second Ant-Man, Scott Lang. This bit of casting made the Ant-Man movie plans that much clearer, and it’s gotten folks excited for the movie in a way that they hadn’t been prior to the announcement. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been pretty “meh” since the introduction of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but this was just the shot in the arm that the franchise needed. For this reason, Michael Douglas had the West Week Ever.

15th Nov2013

West Week Ever – 11/15/13

by Will





I saw Thor: The Dark World over the weekend, and I was pleasantly surprised. That said, I never really go into a Thor movie expecting much, as he’s never been my favorite corner of the Marvel Universe. The movie’s not without its problems, though, and it’s probably best to just not think too hard about the whole thing. I’ve heard some people say that it’s now ranked as one of their favorite Marvel movies, but I don’t see where they’re coming from at all. Sure, it’s got some great character moments, but I, personally, rank it alongside The Incredible Hulk. That was a serviceable, yet underrated, movie that told a full story without doing much to further the overall push toward something greater (The Avengers film, in the case of The Incredible Hulk). I don’t feel that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is any richer for having Thor 2 in it, but I felt the same about the first Thor, which felt like it existed solely to get Loki into position for The Avengers. It was a fun movie, but it’s nothing special. Not great, but good. It also helped to wash the taste of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. out of my mouth. I enjoyed it, and if you just focus on Kat Dennings, you can pretend it’s a very special episode of 2 Broke Girls.


I also watched Aziz Ansari’s latest Netflix special, Buried Alive. Aziz hit 30 and his material matured along with him. To me, that’s unfortunate, as I miss the old stuff about his fat cousin and Kanye. Instead, he’s become something of a relationship guru. The special is mainly about how most of his friends are getting married and having babies, and how crazy he finds the whole thing. It’s a smart special, but it’s not especially funny. I think I laughed once, which is odd when it comes to me and Aziz. I was really hoping for more, but this just didn’t land for me.


While we’re talking about disappointing releases, Lady Gaga’s third studio album, Artpop, was released this week. I thought about doing a track-by-track review of it, like I did for Born This Way, but I know my audience by now; y’all don’t wanna read that shit. Still, I’d have probably done it if the album had been GOOD. It is not. I’ve probably listened to it 10 times by now trying to find a glimmer of something there, but it’s just so lackluster. I predicted this when “Applause” was released, but the Little Monsters tried to tell me that it was all part of something bigger that we’d have to wait and see. Well, now the whole album is out, and there’s nothing bigger to speak of. In fact, “Applause” is the closing track, which is odd because, well, who releases the final track as the debut single?

download (1)

Something big happened with Doctor Who this week, but when I tried to read about it, it felt like I was reading fucking Chinese. Seriously, how can a show about a fop in a phonebooth with a future dildo be so damn convoluted? I studied 90s X-Men! I can handle a complicated plotline, but that franchise just doesn’t seem to translate well to written descriptions. Maybe I’ll give it a shot one day. Maybe not. And yes, I realize it’s a “police box” and a “sonic screwdriver”, but you know I’m still right. Why couldn’t it be a show about a really smart owl, like the title implies?


Last week, I wrote about the Muslim Ms. Marvel, and linked to the Nerds of Color roundtable post that featured some of my thoughts. Well, it seems that article was picked up by Racialicious, and I even got name-checked in their post. I thought about commenting, but no one has personally attacked me yet, so I’ll just hang out in the rafters until something juicy happens over there. It’s cute when minority communities get excited about something in comics, ’cause they have no clue that Marvel and/or DC will just find a way to fuck it up for everyone involved.


Links I Loved

Man Smoking E-Cigarette Must Be Futuristic Bounty Hunter – The Onion

The 16 Most Delightfully 80s Things in ‘Ghostbusters’ – UnderScoopFire!

The Top 10 Schwarzenegger Character Names – The Robot’s Pajamas

This Week’s Post

Thrift Justice – Fleas and Thank You, Xuxa

One fought dark elves, while the other is a dark elf. One sounds like an overeducated owl, while the other kinda looks like one. Only one of them, however, had the West Week Ever.


From left field, it’s none of the above!!!!

I really enjoyed something this week, but I was afraid to give it the West Week Ever because I don’t trust the network. My latest man crush is Pitch Perfect/21 & Over‘s Skylar Astin, and he stars in TBS’ new comedy, Ground Floor. Think of it as a modern day Dharma & Greg, as Astin plays Brody, a workaholic money manager who has a one night stand with Jenny, one of the girls who works on the ground floor of the building. Since there’s a class difference between floors, the whole gist of the series is that they come from different worlds, but try to make it work. It’s from Bill Lawrence, who created Scrubs and Cougar Town, so there are lots of familiar faces. The cast is great, especially Rory Scovel who steals every scene he’s in. I also applaud the casting of Cougar Town‘s Briga Heelan as Jenny, who’s beautiful but not a waif. It also doesn’t hurt that Pitch Perfect‘s Alexis Knapp is in the cast, playing a similar role to her PP character. I tend to hate romantic sitcoms, as I tire of the will they/won’t they dynamic, but I like everyone so much that I’m willing to give it a shot. I still haven’t forgiven TBS for cancelling Wedding Band, and this show has a similarly troublesome timeslot (Thursdays at 10 PM). So, we’ll see how the show performs, but it was definitely my highlight of the week. So, that’s why Ground Floor had the West Week Ever.

08th Nov2013

West Week Ever – 11/8/13

by Will



Welcome to the one year anniversary of West Week Ever! That’s right – you’ve been with me for 51 of these things (we missed a week), and I hope you’ll stick with me for more. Well, enough with the pleasantries. Let’s get this show on the road!


The other day, my pal James posted this article about the 33 Whitest Jobs in America. I’m gonna do this without even clicking the link: dogwalker, smoothie shop owner, veterinarian, yoga instructor, PETA recruiter, Peace Corps trainer, hedge fund dude, door to door Mormon, restaurant hostess, airline pilot, loan officer, private investigator, Republican lobbyist, college president, Hot Topic cashier, wedding photographer, television network executive, doomsday preparedness expert, Fox News anchor, pet groomer, beauty pageant coach, Ryan Seacrest, intervention specialist, professional surfer, Extreme Home Makeover-er, Superman, bartender, lifeguard, ski instructor, cupcake entrepreneur, softball coach, NBA benchwarmer, and pharmaceutical rep. Done. Who wants to click that and tell me how many I got right?


Marvel was in the news a lot this week. First, they announced a new, Muslim Ms. Marvel. I gave my thoughts on the whole thing over here, but here’s the long and short of it: it’s tokenism that’s doomed to fail because no one gives a shit about Ms. Marvel. They could make Black Widow or any other notable female character the new Ms. Marvel and it wouldn’t matter. It’s a lame mantle to adopt. The character would be better off launched with an original concept instead of being saddled with the baggage that comes along with Ms. Marvel. Plus, the X Books have had several Muslim characters, from M to Thunderbird III to Dusk. It’s really not that big a deal in the Marvel U.


Next up, Marvel announced a deal with Netflix to create live action series for Daredevil, Iron Fist, Luke Cage, and Jessica Jones. Everyone’s losing their shit about how awesome it is, but I’m not sold yet. First of all, I hate the Marvel/Disney penchant for pushing programming through channels not available to everyone. All their cartoons are on Disney XD, and now you’ll need Netflix if you want to see these. Also, the concepts seem kinda redundant to me. They said it’s part of a multi-year plan to culminate in a Defenders miniseries, but I don’t see why these four concepts can’t all be in the same show. You can’t really have Power Man and Iron Fist are a team, Jessica Jones is married to Power Man, and they’re all allies of Daredevil. Why not just create a Marvel Knights series that involves all of them? I don’t really see why you need 4 different series other than the desire to “diversify your bonds”. Anyway, the announcement knocked the wind out of DC Entertainment’s sails, as they announced an Hourman series this week. I never even saw the official announcement on that one, so that shows you how much I care.


I finally got around to watching The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and ya know what? I liked it. What were you all complaining about? Sure, it’s no Spider-Man, and it has nothing to do with Alan Moore’s original story, but it was still enjoyable. I’m not really sure why it drove Sean Connery into retirement.


While we’re on movies, I got around to watching Andy Samberg’s Hot Rod, and it was HILARIOUS. It was the perfect homage to an 80s movie. In fact, with the exception of one cell phone, and a brief mention of the internet, the movie could’ve been set in pretty much any time. I know it bombed in theaters, but I thought it was great. If you’ve never seen it, Samberg’s an amateur stuntman who’s done a lot of failed stunts around town. His stepfather won’t respect Samberg until he can beat him in a fair fight. When the stepdad needs a heart transplant, Samberg vows to raise the money by jumping over 15 schoolbuses, just so he can finally kick his stepdad’s ass. Yeah, it’s just as crazy as it sounds, but it’s a lot of fun!


Got around to The Social Network. As much of a social media whore as I am, I’m surprised I never watched it sooner. I mean, I like to brag that I got my account back when it was Ivy League only. Then they let in all the riffraff and all Hell broke loose. High schoolers?! Anyway, that movie should’ve been called “Poor Eduardo Saverin”. I’m not sure if I was swayed by the fact that he’s Spider-Man, but he really is the only likable person in that movie. Zuckerberg? Socially awkward asshole. Winklevoss Twins? Douchebags. Sean Parker? Poseur douche. Yup, Saverin’s the only one who comes out looking like a good guy, plus he made a few billion out of the whole ordeal.


I also watched 21 & Over, which is a movie you’ve all seen before, even if this wasn’t its name. Guy’s friends surprise him to celebrate his 21st birthday the night before his med school interview. Drunken hilarity ensues. Seriously, this is the kinda movie you watch ’cause you’re guaranteed a pair of tits somewhere. You know exactly what’s gonna happen and when. Still, underneath the predictability of it, there’s a heavy-handed message about the stress of college and the hidden mental health issues of the Asian community. The message might’ve been stronger without all the drunken, dick humor, though.


Finally, I watched Speed Racer. What a great movie! It’s like the Wachowskis said, “Ya know, Cars didn’t have enough Dick Tracy in it!” I’ll admit that I didn’t understand about 1/3 of the plot, especially all the shit with the Japanese guy. I’m left with so many questions about the Speed Racer mythos. Why does Trixie have a helicopter? In what time period is this supposed to take place? I mean, they mention a race that took place in “’49”, which was won by Richard Roundtree. I would assume the race was in 2049, but they were driving old timey, turn of the century cars. Finally, I think Matthew Fox would make a great Batman, solely by his portrayal of Racer X. I can’t wait to watch it again on a real TV (this was on a laptop)!


In between movies, I used Netflix to catch up on one of my favorite comedies from the past two seasons: Don’t Trust The B—- In Apartment 23. I loved this show when it was on ABC, but it was scheduled against New Girl, so it didn’t really have a chance. I completely forgot that ABC burned off the rest of the season online, so there were about 8 episodes that I hadn’t seen. If you’ve never seen it, Krysten Ritter (Breaking Bad) plays Chloe AKA The Bitch, and she runs a scam where she tricks would-be roommates out of their security deposits. Enter: Dreama Walker as June, a spunky young go-getter who’s determined to stay in the apartment regardless of what Ritter throws at her. Pretty early on, the two become friends, as Ritter’s pretty much a bitch to everyone else in the world. Oh, and it stars James Van Der Beek as a hilariously exaggerated version of himself. When I first heard the premise of the show, I thought it’d make a decent movie, with Anna Faris in the June role, but I didn’t see how they’d get a whole series out of it. Somehow, however, they made it work – even if nobody tuned in.

Links I Loved

Saturday Morning Cartoon BUMPERS – Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang

School of Hard NOCs: Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers – The Nerds of Color

Podcast #76 – ‘Harrison Ford & Moist Makers’ – UnderScoopFire!


 No clever rhyme this time, as it’s pretty clear that Marvel had the West Week Ever. I mean, it had TWO entries this week! They don’t call it the House of Ideas for nothing, and this week was full of ideas. While I think Ms. Marvel is DOA, I think this Netflix thing will probably pan out into something nice – as long as it’s more interesting than Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Anyway, for constantly thinking outside the box, while simultaneously laying the smack down on the Distinguished Competition, Marvel had the West Week Ever.

18th Oct2013

West Week Ever – 10/18/13

by Will




Of course I’d end yesterday’s post with “what if the US had The Big Reunion?”, completely forgetting that we’ve basically already had it twice.


As I was reminded by my friend Keith H., the first version was called Bands Reunited, and it aired on VH-1 back in 2004. It had more of a rock focus, but it also featured some pop groups, like Berlin and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Famously, New Kids on the Block refused to reunite at that time, only to reunite a few years later on their own terms. The other show was a UK import called Hit Me Baby One More Time. Basically, former stars and one hit wonders returned to perform one of their greatest hits, as well as a popular contemporary song. For example, Howard Jones (who appeared on both the UK and US versions), performed his hit “No One Is To Blame”, and them performed Dido’s “White Flag”. Still, both of these shows had self contained episodes, dealing with different performers each episode, while The Big Reunion dedicated 9 episodes to the same 7 bands. I’d still love to see that format replicated over here.


I’ve spent a lot of time on Netflix this week, which is odd for me. Anyway, I watched three movies that I thought I’d share with you. First up, there was Everything Must Go, starring Will Ferrell. Contrary to what you might think, it wasn’t a comedy. Ferrell plays an alcoholic whose wife leaves him and all of his stuff on the front lawn. In the beginning, it was about Ferrell trying to keep his stuff, but he eventually decides to have a yard sale, while befriending a neighborhood kid. It’s about as predicatible as you might think, but it was still a good movie. Ferrell did a capable job stepping outside the comedy zone, though the movie isn’t without its funny moments. There are worse ways to kill an hour and a half.


Next up was a documentary called Craigslist Joe, where a regular dude named Joe decides to live solely off Craigslist for 31 days. The doc isn’t without its problems, as we never really learn a ton about Joe himself, and there’s a little too much “Hollywood magic” to it. Plus, there’s the question of WHY Joe? It seems like he somehow knew Zach Galifianakis, who also served as the executive producer. Other than that association, there’s nothing about Joe that makes him special. Then again, maybe that’s why he was the perfect choice, as he was just an average dude. Anyway, he set out from his house with no money and no connections. To make sure he didn’t fall back on the familiar, he got a new email address and a new phone number so that he couldn’t be contacted. After that, he spent the month of December depending on Craigslist to provide food, shelter, and entertainment. He meets some cool traveling buddies, he helps out some charities, and he manages to travel from California to New York City and back. He even gets to meet Craig himself. Do I believe that he actually pulled it off? Well, I have my doubts, but it was definitely an interesting experiment, and I enjoyed watching it all play out. If you’ve ever had a fascination with Craigslist, definitely check it out.


Finally, there was a documentary called After Porn Ends. In case you couldn’t tell from the title, it followed former porn stars as they tried to adjust to living in “normal” society. I’m not a big Pornnoisseur, so out of the people profiled, I’d only ever heard of Mary Carey, Raylene, and Asia Carrera. Little known fact: Asia Carrera’s a member of MENSA! Anyway, although it was based on the porn industry, I didn’t expect to see any gratuitous sex scenes. After all, Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy had no sex scenes. Well, I was wrong about this, as there were tons of girl-on-girl and orgy scenes interspersed between interviews. One interview in particular really stuck with me. I’d always heard of the racism of the porn industry, but an interview with former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey really drove it home. When asked if she’d ever return to porn, she said that she wasn’t worried because the door was always open. I’m paraphrasing, but she basically said

“If I’m 25, I’ll come back and do a girl on guy scene. If I’m 30, I’ll do girl on guy with anal. And if I’m 35, well, I’ll do a black guy.”

So, in the porn industry, doing a black guy is often seen as the last gasp of a once promising star. Other starlets have mentioned that sex with black guys would ruin their careers, but never had it been made more obvious than here. It’s clearly not something you do unless you absolutely have to, or have the cache to ride it out, so to speak. Anyway, it wasn’t the best documentary out there, and it was almost too short, as it seemed like they barely scratched the surface of the people profiled. If you happened to be wondering what happened to your favorite porn star, then check it out and find out.

Links I Loved

How Country Music Went Crazy: A Comprehensive Timeline of the Genre’s Identity Crisis – Entertainment Weekly

The Worst Halloween Costumes of 2013! – The Robot’s Pajamas

USF Link Love – UnderScoopFire!

Not Cheap Or Disposable: PBS’ Documentary About Superheroes and Americana – Redheaded Mule

What Do You Think? – The Sexy Geek’s House of Swag

I hate to disappoint ya, but nobody had the West Week Ever. It was a short week, the government shutdown was going on, and nothing awesome really caught my attention. So, if you really must know what my favorite thing of the week was, it was watching The Big Reunion, which I wrote about yesterday. If you haven’t read it, I recommend you check it out. Otherwise, tune in next week, when hopefully things will be a bit more exciting!

01st Oct2013

The Con-Clusion: Monster-Mania 26

by Will


If you’ve been reading the site recently, then you know that September was a month filled with conventions. It all started with Baltimore Comic-Con, which was followed by Retro Con, and finally there was Monster-Mania 26. I’m not even remotely a horror guy, so why did I go to Monster-Mania? Well, it’s simple – there was going to be a Batman ’66 reunion with Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, and Yvonne Craig. Stan Lee and Adam West have always been on my Must Meet list, and since I met Stan 2 years ago, now it was time to check Adam off the list. So, even if that meant I would be braving a horror convention, it was time to meet Adam West.

I wanted to guarantee that I met Adam, and luckily there was a VIP package similar to when I met Stan Lee. Unluckily, that package cost $200. For that price, I was guaranteed a picture with Adam (with my own camera), an autograph, admission to the show the whole weekend, and admission to an exclusive dessert party Friday night. Before buying that pass, I spoke with some former Monster-Mania attendees to see if it was worth it. While the price was steep, I liked that it guaranteed the meeting, meaning I wouldn’t have to waste all day in line for the chance of a meeting. So, I paid it. It was around this time that Yvonne Craig canceled due to a family health matter. No Batgirl? Oh well, there was still Batman.

Before going, I couldn’t really decide what I wanted Adam to sign for me. I thought about the Batman ’66 figures, but I don’t like the idea of signed toys, which aren’t as easy to display as a signed book. I thought about Batman ’66 #1, but he didn’t really have anything to do with it. It’s a comic vaguely based upon his likeness, but that’s about it. So, I Googled some pics, and came up with this one that I really liked:


Sure, most folks would choose a picture of Batman and Robin, but something about this one just spoke to me. It’s as GQ as Bruce and Dick could be during that era, and I liked that Bruce looked pensive. Since it was a scan of an old trading card, it had also faded in a way that I actually liked. So, I went to Kinkos (I’ll probably never call it FedEx Office), and printed out a full page version of the pic. Finally, I was ready for the show.

Friday afternoon, I got off work early and headed up to Hunt Valley where the show was being held. The VIP session was set to start at 4:30, but I didn’t get there until around 5 due to traffic. A guy at the front desk directed me to the Garden Room, where we were to wait for our turn to meet Adam. At this point, the guy sitting next to me asked, “Did they tell you about Burt Ward?” What did this mean? Was he dead? Had he gone on a killing spree? What an odd way to start a conversation. Anyway, I said, “No, what about Burt Ward?” Apparently, for an extra $30, Burt would get in the picture with you and Adam. Now, I’d already paid $200 to get this far, and now they wanted more money? Still, I had considered trying to get something signed from Burt, and I heard he charged $60 just for that. So, the additional $30 didn’t sound so bad. Sure, I kinda just wanted my pic with Batman, but how often can you get a pic with Batman AND Robin? So, I went out and told the staff guy that I wanted the Burt package, and I was whisked away to another ballroom to wait with a different group of folks. After I waited for about 20 minutes, they started taking t-shirt sizes. I guess we’re getting free t-shirts. It was at this point that a drunk guy got belligerent, and started asking if Adam was even there. He said that he was tired of waiting (keep in mind it was only 5:20, and the room opened at 4:30), and that this was bullshit. The organizer tried to tell him that he had to take care of getting everyone’s shirts, and drunk guy said, “I AM everyone!” Finally, they offered to give him his money back and escorted him out of the room. About 5 minutes later, Adam walked in with a “Ho, what do we have here?”

Did I mention that I was the only black person there? It may not matter, but I feel I should mention it here. When the guy was giving out shirts, it was like he was going out of his way to avoid giving me mine, but then he had the gall to try to defuse the situation with, “Nothing personal. I’m just trying to do it like this.” Like what? He didn’t seem to have any kind of system until it came to me, and then he felt he should say something before I “got all black” on him. That’s how it felt, at least. And some dude and his girlfriend actually cut in line in front of me and some other folks, but the other folks didn’t say anything and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to say anything. This was Baltimore, which isn’t the most hospitable place. You may know it from The Wire, but it’s also a cult city devoted to the Ravens and the color purple. I hate most things about it, but I knew I was on their turf, so I didn’t want to start any shit.

Anyway, Burt wasn’t ready for pics yet, so Adam was going to sign stuff first. They personalize everything to keep you from eBaying it, so they asked my name, and Adam proceeded to write “To William” on it. While it was less of an assembly line than the Stan meeting, it felt less personal. I actually got to speak to Stan, while Adam’s handlers protected him, feeding him things to sign. Didn’t even get to shake his hand (maybe he’s a germaphobe). I told him that it was an honor to meet him, as he handed my pic back to me. He said something that clearly wasn’t memorable as I can’t tell you what it was. It was probably something as mundane as “There ya go.” Oh, and he used a silver pen which barely showed up on my pic 🙁


Once the signing was done, we got back in line for the pics. By this point, Burt was there and he did not look his best. There are few things worse than an older man who dies his hair jet black. Anyone who’s seen Return to the Batcave knows that Burt has gray hair. So, at what point did he decide to basically put shoe polish on his head? It was kinda disappointing, as he looked like a giant, special boy. Can I also mention my displeasure with the picture aspect? When I paid that kind of money for Stan, it was a professional picture, with a backdrop. I’ve been told that my pic looks like I ran into them somewhere and got them to take a picture with me. No, folks – I paid for that. I feel, for that money, they could at least have had a photographer. Have it so I can pick up the photo later during the show. Sure, having it on my phone allowed me to tweet it and such, it still doesn’t look professional quality, nor was it worth what I paid. The first pic was blurry, so they were nice enough to take it again, but I don’t feel they’d have these issues with one photographer, with one good camera.

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After the pics, we got back in line, and I wondered what this new line was for. Well, it turned out that Burt was signing. “Well, cool”, I thought. I get a pic and an autograph from both. Standing in line, though, we started getting the impression that the signing wasn’t included. I asked the guy in front of me, and he told me that Burt was charging, but he wasn’t sure how much. As someone was leaving, the guy asked how much, and was told that Burt charged $50 for the autograph. Apparently, there’s a favored nations clause where Burt gets everything Adam gets. So, if Adam charges $60 for a picture, then so does Burt. I don’t really think this is fair – mainly because Batman and Robin are NOT an equal partnership. Robin is more of a junior partner, and his rates should reflect that. We’d already paid $230 just to get in this particular room, and now Burt wanted $50 more? Nah, fuck that noise. I got out of line and walked out.

My lone spoil

My lone spoil

Since I’d already come all that way, I figured I should at least check out the showroom floor. Did I mention that I didn’t feel comfortable? Because I didn’t. I don’t want to say anything too negative, so as not to offend anyone, but horror fans are kinda scary. There were a LOT of people there who looked like borderline skinheads, which didn’t bode well for my lone black status. I walked around, but most of the dealers were selling old VHS movies that had been burned onto DVD. There were some toy dealers, but their prices were astronomical. I checked out a loose Marvel Legends Hawkeye, and the dealer offered to sell him to me for $25, down from the asking price of $30. Sure, he’s not easy to find, but the fact that there’s a new Hawkeye on the market  will drive prices down on the old one. I wandered into the ballroom and saw some of the “guests”. I’m not sure why I put that in quotes, but I did. Because it was Friday, the show wasn’t in full swing, so maybe people weren’t bringing their A-game. Still, I saw David Prowse, who’s at every convention. I saw Michael Madsen, but I didn’t get too close because I didn’t want him to try to sell me something, and I saw Kari Wuhrer, who looked like an attractive, middle aged diner waitress – ya know, a single mom just trying to catch a break. I just didn’t feel like it was my cup of tea, so I headed for the door after being there about an hour.

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On the way out, I took some pics of the Batmobile and Batcycle on display outside the lobby. Apparently, you could have your picture taken in the Batmobile, but the photographer didn’t seem to be anywhere nearby, plus that would’ve been another $20. So, I headed for my car to begin the journey home.

2013-09-27 18_opt (1)

I really haven’t enjoyed this convention season. I’m not sure what it was, but in the words of U2, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” It was cool meeting my pals at Retro Con, but that was about it. I didn’t go to these shows with many expectations, but even my lowered ones were not met. I did get to meet a childhood hero, and I’m thankful for that, but in no way was it worth what I paid. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again, especially since my list has been completed. I wouldn’t mind meeting Jason David Frank one day, but I know he ain’t worth more than about $50. I kinda wish I could have one last shot at fun at New York Comic-Con, but I’m fairly certain the 2013 convention season is done for me. Well, there’s always next year…

27th Sep2013

West Week Ever – 9/27/13

by Will




So, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. debuted this week, and I’m bound by the Geek Council to mention that. I already wrote about my thoughts on the show a few months back. After watching the pilot, nothing’s changed. I didn’t hate it, but it’s also not my new favorite show. It was a little too “Whedon” for me. A lot of folks I follow have been comparing Whedon to Aaron Sorkin, where his tried and true tropes are beginning to wear thin. I agree with that assessment, especially when it comes to TV Whedon. I’m never Captain Race Card, but I do think the team could use more diversity. Two Europeans and not even an Agent Rodriguez or Agent Jenkins? I think this is a gross oversight that I hope might be rectified in season 2. Anyway, how long before the Chloe Bennett Maxim spread?

DADS: L-R: Martin Mull, Giovanni Ribisi, Seth Green and Peter Riegert. DADS premieres Tuesday, Sept. 17 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: FOX

I’ve heard that people like my TV assessments, but I didn’t feel invested enough in any new shows to do a whole post aboutthe fall season. Now that we’re a week into things, I do have a few thoughts. First off, let’s tackle the elephant in the room known as Dads. It’s clear that it only got on the schedule to appease Seth MacFarlane, but we can all agree that it’s horrible. It’s going to be DESTROYED by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. at 8 PM, so it’s only a matter of time before Fox blinks and moves it. It would be PERFECT for the Sunday As-Long-As-Football-Doesn’t-Run-Late 7:30 slot. That’s where Fox’s multi cam sitcoms go to die. It’ll be close enough to the Animation Domination block to get that Seth “halo effect” without actually breaking up the flow of the animated shows. This will allow them to bring back Raising Hope a bit sooner than probably expected, but they have more invested in that show.

The next disappointment is Back in the Game on ABC, starring Psych‘s Maggie Lawson. She’s a recently divorced single mom who moves in with her estranged father who helps her coach her son’s ragtag little league team of losers. If you’ve seen The Bad News Bears, you already know how this works. I’m convinced that this show was presented to ABC execs as Maggie Lawson in Little Shorts and it was greenlit immediately. I wonder what this means for Psych, but they’ve been hinting at the end for some time. I mean, it’s gonna have 8 seasons! Anyway, ABC clearly doesn’t believe in the show because they would’ve given it the post-Modern Family timeslot. The Middle is a reliable player, but it’s not a proven lead-in, which is why Suburgatory was moved around in order for it to gain traction. No, the darling spot has been given to Rebel Wilson’s Super Fun Night, which looks terrible. It seems folks think Wilson’s gonna be the next Melissa McCarthy, but I see her as the next Sara Rue/Nicole Sullivan – always a bridesmaid, but never quite a bride.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is good. Really good. Even if Andy Samberg goes full retard sometimes. I worry about it going against S.H.I.E.L.D. and I think I see how this plays out. The Mindy Project has been a critical darling, but never the strongest performer. I see Fox giving Brooklyn the post-New Girl slot for a few weeks just to see if that helps things. New Girl‘s lead-in really helped Mindy, and I think it could do the same for Brooklyn. If it works, though, what does that mean for Mindy? Fox doesn’t have another night for comedy at the moment…


Speaking of questionable Fox choices, what’s the deal with the FX/FXX split? They shipped Sunny and The League over to the new FXX like it was a promotion, but was it? While Sunny is a longstanding performer for FX, it doesn’t have the clout of Archer or Louie – two shows that appear to be staying on FX. This almost seems like a vote of no confidence for FXX, especially when it could really benefit from having those two shows. What’s the point of FX as a network anyway, as everyone has already seen Taken and Iron Man by now. Isn’t that all they show? Are there big plans in store for FX other than burning off that 100-episode order of Anger Management?


Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Don Jon is such a “wait for Redbox” movie that I wouldn’t be surprised if they co-produced it. It’s about a guy who learned everything he knows about relationships from porn. He sounds like everyone I went to high school with.

Last week, I was honored to be a part of the Nerds of Color videocast “Hard N.O.C. Life”, with special guests Larry Hama and Joseph Illidge. If you’re reading this site, you already know Larry (he created most of the characters for G.I. Joe!), but you may not know that Joe was editor of the Batman titles during the late 90s storylines such as “No Man’s Land”. I’ve actually known Joe for years, but it was great to talk to him in this forum. We discussed diversity in comics, the anniversary of Milestone Media, and more. You can check out the show here.

Links I Loved

Cynthia Rothrock in the Greatest Fight Scene EVAR! – The Robot’s Pajamas

Breaking Bad: How ‘Granite State’ Revealed Who the Flash-Forward Ricin is Intended For – UnderScoopFire

Deep Inside Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco – Fast Company

The Secret Behind Key and Peele’s Football-Player Names – Vulture

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Are Present, But Where’s Nick Fury? – Redheaded Mule

One is an aimless Fox show, while the other is an aimless Fox network. One is the TV version of The Avengers, while the other is the movie version of Jersey Shore. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever.


I may not have loved it but a LOT of people did, as it was the highest rated scripted show of the night.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was good television. I’m still not convinced it’s going to be a weekly destination for me, but I’m just one person. It set Twitter ablaze, with folks either discussing it or bitching about spoilers. This show is gonna be a hit, so I’d be a fool to think it didn’t have the West Week Ever.

13th Sep2013

West Week Ever – 9/13/13

by Will




So, if you read last week’s post, you know that I was anticipating Arsenio’s return. Now that he’s got a week of shows under his belt, I think I can express my verdict: it’s a train wreck! Where to begin? First off, his audience is wrong. The Arsenio Hall Show used to have a young hip crowd, but his current audience looks like folks who weren’t able to get tickets to Ellen. On top of that, his jokes are HORRIBLE. I mean, they’re so bad that they make Leno look like Louis CK. His jokes are either groaners or the punchline is telegraphed from miles away. I don’t use this term lightly, but it’s almost a minstrel show. Most of the humor derives from the fact that he’s black and he’s surrounded by white people. He had one skit on his second night which was borderline offensive to both races. He takes a tour of his offices to make sure his white staffers are the “right” kind of white people. He goes around asking one what C.R.E.A.M. stands for, while he fires a guy because his credit score was good enough to qualify for a homeowners loan. He’s about to fire another guy until he finds out that he smokes menthols, making him OK. Here’s the skit in its entirety:

His audience isn’t black enough for this kind of humor to work. He’s going to have people laughing out of guilt more so than actually being entertained. If this is the kind of stuff he’s gonna stick to, he’ll be dead by Christmas. This show makes Lopez Tonight look like it was Letterman. And that’s not to mention the caliber of guests. I never expected A-list stars, but I expected more than Ice Cube and Lisa Kudrow – who looked SO uncomfortable as Arsenio ribbed her about the fact that there were no blacks on Friends. One of the biggest issues is that he came back with the SAME show. Sure, there are more skits, but it’s like he mothballed the old Arsenio show and just dusted it off. Dog Pound’s there, The Posse’s there, theme song’s the same, and the set looks like something from the 90s. I’m sure most of you aren’t surprised by any of this, but I really thought he had a chance to do something special. This, however, is not it.


This week saw the debut of my new feature, Track Star. How did that go for folks? Do you all have Spotify? Were there any problems with the playlist? Thoughts? I just wanted to know for future reference.


My Twitter Sister @itsthebrandi posted the following on facebook, which I thought was hilarious:

B ’13: “Hey, 2001 Brandi, which Nelly song do you think would be used in a cereal commercial first?”
B ’01: “Country Grammar. He mentions Cocoa Puffs.”
B ’13: “Nope. Ride Wit Me. In a Honey Nut Cheerios ad. In 2013.”
B ’01: “Is that all you came back to tell me?”
B’ 13: “The cute one from N’Sync marries the hot one from 7th Heaven and we have a black president. Bye!”
B’ 01: “WTF?!”
B ’13: “Girl, you won’t believe the other stuff.”

Miley’s back. I stayed out of the whole twerking matter, but I feel this new video for “Wrecking Ball” is what everyone should be talking about. It’s one giant OSHA violation!

She’s trying HARD to distance herself from Hannah Montana, which is sad because I think she successfully did away with that identity years ago. At this point, it’s more like beating a dead horse. Still, I haven’t seen an “accept me as an adult” campaign this heavyhanded since Jessica Biel wanted out of her 7th Heaven contract. For those not in the know, her parents let her do a partially nude photo shoot at the age of 17, hoping it would force the producers to fire her.

“Yay, X-Factor’s back!” – no one at all this week

This week, I was invited back as a guest on the No Topic Required podcast. The link’s not up yet, so I’ll post it next week.

Here’s where I’m heading tomorrow:

I know some of the UnderScoopFire guys will be there, but who else will I meet?

Links I Loved

The Rise and Fall of Rock Band – The Gameological Society

My Grandfather Was My Dealer – The Nerds of Color

A Series of Carefully Selected Moments Over the Course of 35 Years, a Nerd Origin – The Nerds of Color

See the Cast of ‘School of Rock’ Then and Now – Screen Crush

This Week’s Posts

Track Star: Willa Ford Vs. M2M

Con-flicted: My Trip to Baltimore Comic-Con 2013

One rode a wrecking ball, while the other’s balls got him in trouble. Things got kinda “Syri-ous” with one, while the other had a good weekend, hon. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever.



I didn’t have a great time. I wrote about that. Still, the show broke its own attendance records, Kevin Smith dropped by, and they filmed some footage for Comic Book Men. To top it off, some cosplayers I know ended up in the Baltimore City Paper.In case you couldn’t tell, it was a slow week for entertainment, so I’m just gonna say that the Baltimore Comic-Con had the West Week Ever. Let’s cross our fingers for a better week next week!

30th Aug2013

West Week Ever – 8/30/13

by Will




So, I can’t really start this post without acknowledging MLK and the March on Washington, or else The Council will come after me and my Black License won’t be renewed. In any case, this week marked the 50th anniversary of that day, with events and speakers to commemorate it. Let’s for a minute imagine if the Internet were segregated. Luckily, it’s not but that may not have been the case had it been created 50 years ago. Let’s not get into the science of “How do you segregate the Internet?” I guess you’d use the same kinda filters and shit that China uses. Anyway, if that were the case, I’d have about 3 people reading this post (I know on which side my bread is buttered!). My mom and aunts were at the original march, and I’m thankful they fought so that I didn’t have to. Now, I have the luxury of skipping the commemorative march, and blogging for white people about Power Rangers. Progress! Anyway, the anniversary ain’t winning West Week Ever ’cause there were too many agendas trying to co-opt it from its true intention: to remember the original march and what it stood for. It was NOT a platform for “What would MLK say about drones?”, but that didn’t stop folks from trying. So, the commemoration sucked, but here’s to all those folks who fought the good fight 50 years ago.

The week began with the MTV Video Music Awards, and everything that came with them. I don’t have time to talk about Miley, but I mentioned her, so that should help my SEO score for the week. No, I’m here to talk about *NSYNC. If you didn’t see the show, Justin Timberlake received the Video Vanguard Award, which is like the VMA version of a Lifetime Achievement Award. Before receiving it, however, he performed almost 20 minutes, counting backwards through his hits. Once he hit the *NSYNC era, the guys came out and helped him sing snippets of “Gone” and “Bye Bye Bye”. And then they went bye bye bye.At the end of the day, it was great to see them, and it was nice that Justin dedicated his award to them, seeing as how half of his VMAs were won while he was with the group. Did I want more of a performance from them? Of course, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. And I still don’t know what JC’s “Baby baby” riff was all about there at the end…

Wednesday marked the 20th anniversary of the airing of “Day of the Dumpster” – the first episode of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. I’ve already documented my relationship to the Power Rangers franchise many times, so this isn’t gonna be a gushfest. If anything, I just can’t believe that it’s been 20 years. I remember watching that episode like it was yesterday, and when it was over, saying “This piece of crap won’t last.” And here we are. If you’ve never watched DotD, here’s the episode, but I warn you that it hasn’t aged well. I will say that I never put two and two together before, but Amy Jo Johnson is clearly responsible for my love of little shorts. Thank the good Lord for little shorts!



Apparently, Alan Shore is gonna be Ultron in the next Avengers movie. Not bad casting. Not bad casting at all!

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On the toy front, some of you may have seen my Batman ’66 figures on Instagram. I’m not really a toy review guy, so I’m not gonna get too indepth here. I will say that Penguin is the best of the three that I got. Riddler looks enough like Riddler, but doesn’t really emote as Frank Gorshin. It was really a missed opportunity. As for Batman, his cape is ratty, like they didn’t even try to care when making it. The old Super Powers capes look like something from a Nolan movie compared to this cape. I’m hoping the Batman in the 2-pack with Robin will be better executed. One thing they don’t tell you about those collector’s cards is that the backs seem to form a Batcave diorama. This will be cool once I get all the figures, but it’s still gonna look weird since the cards aren’t taller than the figures.

I was all over the place this week! First, I pseudo-took over UnderScoopFire as I contributed to the following posts:

5 Fashions & Accessories Made Iconic by One Person

9 More Ways AMC Can Try to Trick You Into Watching Low Winter Sun

And if that wasn’t enough, they even invited me on episode #71 of their podcast to discuss Batfleck and other stuff. Listen here.

In the meantime, I’ve hooked up with a little outfit called The Nerds of Color. Basically, we’re nerds of color talking about nerdy shit. You can read my first post for them, “The Comical Life Of Will West: An Origin Tale”, here. And if you’re a nerd of color, ask me how you can join the team!

One said bye one last time, while the other taught your grandma the word “twerk”. One morphed into the public consciousness, while the other set us free at last. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever.

I already said it couldn’t be the march. Twenty years, y’all! Twenty years of dubbed footage and bad acting. It’s like if you kept turning in mediocre grades and they kept promoting you. Don’t get me wrong – I love the Hell out of this franchise, but NOTHING ever made me think it would almost be old enough to drink. Power Rangers has been a juggernaut with unprecedented success. Twenty years ain’t nothing to sneeze at, so that’s why Power Rangers had the West Week Ever.

24th May2013

West Week Ever – 5/24/13

by Will

Who had the West Week Ever? Read on and find out!


Last weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting New Jersey. Could you hear my sarcasm? Anyway, it was a good trip ’cause I got to see my sword brother, Keith, but it had its highs and its lows. On Saturday night, we went to what was billed as “live band karaoke”, which sounded awesome! In reality, however, it was not what one might expect. There was a house band called Deep Fried Thorn, who didn’t suck, but they were mainly there to play themselves. If you wanted to sing a song on their setlist, you were welcome to do so, but their levels were off, and the music was too loud for the venue. I just didn’t feel comfortable there. While I’m used to all-white crowds, this one didn’t seem too welcoming. I guess I was standing too close to the pickup station, as a waitress pushed me out of her way and into a chair. This triggered my assholosity, and I looked for a way to take my anger out on the whole place. When it was my turn (I sang Ain’t Too Proud To Beg), I got to the mic, and said, “Hi, I’m Will, and I’ll be your black guy for the evening.” Yeah, that didn’t go over so well. Not knowing when to quit, I looked at the nearest patron (who was looking at me quizzically), and said, “Yeah, don’t think that I didn’t notice.” Anyway, the rest of the weekend was good. We ate lots of good food, we made plans for our joint venture, Kill Industries, and I got to see my bud.


Oh, we also saw Star Trek Into Darkness. I really enjoyed it. It’s not “Star Trek”, but it was still enjoyable. Not even joining the Star Trek Alice Eve hoopla. I love Alice Eve in underwear – I think it’s in her contract. If you wanna be upset about something, be upset at how they depicted being attacked while in warp. That shit will fuck you up. They should’ve, at the very least, lost a nacelle from that. I mean, it should have been torn completely off its housing, and lost to space. They just don’t spin out of it like a car hitting a patch of black ice. That should’ve have been CATASTROPHIC. But whatever.


I had a weird epiphany over the weekend. You see, I have this routine I do at restaurants: when I order Diet Coke, if they say “I’m sorry, but all we have is Pepsi”, I reply, “I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!” Only, last weekend, I realized that I prefer Pepsi – at least the diet variety. Maybe it’s because we’ve had SO much Diet Coke at home that its lost all appeal. It reminds me of college: I ended up kicking soda for a year and a half because it had lost all effect. I was drinking 2 liters of Wild Cherry Pepsi a day, and I eventually couldn’t even taste it anymore. I was just chugging it for the burn. So, I went cold turkey. Diet Coke has a similar effect for me now. So, for the time being, make mine Pepsi!

I also took on the Herculean task of getting one of my email accounts in order. In case you didn’t know, I own williambrucewest at everything except AOL. Well, I still have my college account redirected to my Hotmail/Outlook account, and it was at 78 pages. Yeah, I had stuff going back to 2006, which was the last time I’d even attempted to keep it under control. Now I’m at 4 pages, but I’m still striving for Inbox Zero. Over the weekend, I’m going to tackle Gmail.


Anyone remember when I wrote about Xuxa a few months back? Well, I got the best comment on it the other day about America’s “cold and dirty minds”. Go check it out.


Why has no one come up with the Jail Body Workout (#fitness)? I never, never, never, never, never wanna end up in jail, but if I ever do, three things will happen:

1) I’ll become well-read

2) I’ll get closer to God

3) I’ll get an amazing, jacked body

There should be a DVD for the Jail Body Workout, and it’d come with a pocket copy of the Qur’an (I used that spelling ’cause I’m really into apostrophes right now. So hot.). It can’t be hosted by Shaun T, though – his ass would never make it out alive.


Haha, Morgan Freeman fell asleep during an interview! He also used to fuck his step-granddaughter, but we casually forgot that. Just like we forgot Jerry Seinfeld both dated a minor and stole his current wife away from her husband while she was on her honeymoon. Oh, but Michael Vick and Chris Brown are still assholes. God bless America’s selective memory!

So nice of the Boys Scouts to let in gay members, ’cause of course those kids’ll grow out of it by the time they’re scout leaders, right? Right? Ugh…

I ever tell you about the time I slept over at my ex’s parents’ house, and they put me in a room with several Rolexes sitting casually on a dresser. I’ve always thought that was a test. I passed. And now I ain’t got no Rolex. Random, I know.

Links I Loved
Taxi vs. Hill Street Blues: Battle of the TV Show Intros – The Robot’s Pajamas

A Raging Nerdgasm/Real Toy Hunting moment – my greatest wants acquired – Raging Nerdgasm

The Weekly Scoop: Underwear Uproar, Mini He-Man, and this Human Torch will not be denied a bank loan – UnderScoopFire!

What’s the most dangerous job in comics? – Cold Slither Podcast

A new podcast hit the streets recently, filled with folks I enjoy – head over to the Cold Slither Podcast, to hear Nicju and R2thaEdgy’s new show, “What’s The Tea?”

This Week’s Posts

Best of the West #3: Knight Rider Knight 2000 Voice Car

Collegiate Conundrum OR Reunited and Feels So Bad?

Thrift Justice – Hell Naw! Are You For Real?

One’s out of our league, while the others are too cool for school. One’s taking a nap, while the other’s taking a plea. Only one, however, could have the West Week Ever!


Anyone who knows of my love for TNBC should’ve seen this coming. This week marks the 20th anniversary of the original Bayside gang’s graduation from high school. Yes, you’re that old! Like it or not, Saved by the Bell was a definitive pop culture milestone of the early 90s. For many of us, it gave us false expectations of what high school would be like. For others, it was our introduction to our first “feminist”. Either way, it’s been 20 years since they walked across that stage and got their diplomas from Mr. Belding. They’ve gone on to be strippers, game show hosts, cops, soap opera actresses, and more, but they’ll always be the Saved by the Bell kids.

I often wonder where they might be today. Lisa’s, no doubt, a fashion designer. If that didn’t work out, then she’s an on-air personality for E! Jessie’s an attorney, annoying the shit out of clients and judges alike. Slater blew out his knee and is probably an on-air personality for ESPN. Screech probably invented FaceSter, but Zack ends up with all the credit and the money. Speaking of Zack, he and Kelly have been divorced for about 12 years now. I know it was a kids show, but I never bought their whole “true love” angle. Zack was used to getting whatever he wanted, and Kelly was the one thing he had to work to get. He simply wanted what he couldn’t have, and once he got her, I’m sure he lost interest. Kelly, meanwhile, is a happy mom to 6 kids (remember, the Kapowskis were fertile) and is married to her second husband, Jeff. Yes, THAT Jeff. Oh, and The Max is now a national chain and can usually be found in the same shopping centers as Ernie’s Gym & Juice Bar franchises. Anyway, for touching our childhood (no MJ!), and for enduring all these years, the kids from Bayside High Class of ’93 had the West Week Ever.