18th Jan2019

West YEAR Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2018

by Will

2018 was the longest year in the history of years. It’s funny – I always look at past posts to figure out if I ever decided on a format for this wrap-up, and the past few years all start with “Man, this year SUCKED!” So, I guess things are just getting worse, huh? Anyway, when I first started doing West YEAR Ever, it was two-fold: 1) to bring attention to some of the “evergreen” posts I’d written throughout the year that you might have missed and 2) provide something of a director’s commentary to the West Week Ever choices I’d made over the past year. Here’s the rub, though: I didn’t really write any evergreen posts this year. Nope, my focus was pretty much solely on West Week Ever, which are totally disposable posts – which is a great way to think of 2018: disposable.

Between HarassmentWatch(TM), Trailer Park, Things You Might Have Missed This Week and, of course, West Week Ever, we talked about the celebrity wang danglers (reigning WYE Champ of 2017), looked at some movie trailers, I gave you bulletpoint news, and then I tried to point out something about the week that stood out above everything else. That’s the West Week Ever formula you’ve come to know over the past 6 years.

The most interesting stuff about the year is probably the stuff I didn’t write about. For example, I was interviewed by Vulture in anticipation of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, as I was considered a Miles Morales “superfan”. I sat on that chestnut for a couple months, anxiously waiting for the article to come out. Finally, my views on something would get more exposure! Well, it came out, and none of my contributions made the finished article. Womp womp.

Or the fact that I won a $50 gift card at the county fair by DOMINATING at 90s song trivia. I promptly used it to buy a gaming chair from Staples. I’m not even a gamer, but that’s a sweet ass chair!

Or the the fact that I won a pair of Google Home Hubs the week before Christmas, because I was miraculously caller #9 to a radio station (Thanks, WMZQ and iHeartRadio!).

Nah, I didn’t write about any of that. Probably should have. Oh well. Hindsight, and all that.

Anyway, let’s take a look back on 2018, and see if anything really stood out about it.

2018 In Movies

As far as movies went, I only saw 15 – down from last year’s 18, and WAY down from 2015’s 78.

1. Gotham By Gaslight
2. Black Panther
3. Ready Player One
4. Blockers
5. Avengers: Infinity War
6. Pitch Perfect 3
7. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
8. Ant-Man and the Wasp
9. Sorry to Bother You
10. Teen Titans Go to the Movies
11. The Meg
12. Venom
13. Megamind
14. The Christmas Chronicles – I have to review these last two here, as I watched them in that gap between my last post of 2018 and my first of 2019. This was a cute movie. Kurt Russell as Santa actually works, but I have SO many questions about the universe in which the movie is set. I mean, Santa is real, but he only comes to Believers. Are we sure this thing wasn’t sponsored by The 700 Club?
15. Commando Ninja – I didn’t know anything about this movie until someone in a Facebook group mentioned it. After about 5 minutes of research, I felt like it looked like Kung Fury, so I was immediately on board. I think I’ve said it before, but I didn’t grow up watching 80s action movies. And I still haven’t seen most of them. So, I’m sure this thing hit all the right notes for some folks, while some of it just goes over my head. Still, it was hilarious, it was free on YouTube, and it was short. What more could you ask for?

2018 In Television

  • Roseanne announced that her character would be a Trump supporter when her show returned. She subsequently said some dumb shit and the show got cancelled. Then her TV family made deals to return to the show without her. Awww, family!
  • Murphy Brown also returned, to the delight of…well, nobody, really. She fired off her Trump jokes, and will probably be put back in moth balls by CBS.
  • ABC pulled an episode of Black-ish that would deal with the NFL kneeling issue. While it was reported as a “mutual decision” between the network and series creator Kenya Barris, Barris would go on to leave ABC for a 7-figure deal with Netflix.
  • The Fox adaptation of Lethal Weapon was a hotbed of problems. First there were reports of misconduct by show star Clayne Crawford, which put the show’s renewal chances in jeopardy. Then, Crawford was fired and replaced by Seann William Scott (the extra “n” is for flavor!). Then the show’s other star, Damon Wayans, announced he was leaving after fulfilling the season’s original 13-episode order.
  • The Simpsons surpassed Gunsmoke to become the longest-running, scripted primetime series on television, with 636 episodes.
  • After 27 scandalous seasons, The Jerry Springer Show went out not with a bang but with a whimper.
  • The Sharknado franchise came to an end with The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time. Yes, it was time.
  • The Power Rangers 25th anniversary special aired, with obligatory Jason David Frank cameo. Hell, the whole thing was a JDF wankfest.
  • Brian Robbins was announced as the new head of Nickelodeon, which is significant since he and his former Head of the Class costar, Dan Schneider, got their behind the scenes careers started by creating All That for the network back in 1994. It’ll be interesting to see if he throws any work to Schneider, whose Schneider’s Bakery production house was sent packing by Nickelodeon earlier in the year after allegations surrounding Schneider arose.
  • DC Comics debuted the DC Universe streaming service, which is still struggling to find subscribers
  • Kanye West went on TMZ to declare “Slavery was a choice!”
  • And, of course, I wrote my annual Network Upfronts post, with my thoughts on the upcoming TV season.

2018 In Music

Yeah, I already covered that. No, you didn’t read it because you’re scared of the unknown!

West Week Ever Recipients of 2018:

1/12/18 – Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House
1/19/18 – Black Lightning
1/26/18 – Vince McMahon
2/2/18 – WWE Royal Rumble
2/9/18 – Quincy Jones
2/16/18 – Black Panther
2/23/18 – Black Panther
3/2/18 – Atlanta
3/9/18 – DC Black Label
3/16/18 – Avengers: Infinity War trailer
3/23/18 – Nothing
3/30/18 – Roseanne
4/13/18 – Wrestlemania 34
4/27/18 – James Shaw Jr.
5/4/18 – Avengers: Infinity War
5/11/18 – Donald Glover
5/18/18 – CBS
5/25/18 – The Middle series finale
6/1/18 – Solo: A Star Wars Story
6/15/18 – Charley
6/22/18 – Nothing
6/29/18 – West Life Ever: Toys “R” Us
7/13/18 – Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
7/20/18 – DC Entertainment
7/27/18 – Teen Titans Go to the Movies
8/3/18 – Lebron James
8/10/18 – Patrick Stewart
8/17/18 – Omarosa Manigault Newman
8/24/18 – Crazy Rich Asians
9/7/18 – Nike
9/14/18 – John Legend
9/21/18 – Marvel Studios
9/28/18 – Lady Gaga, “Shallow”
10/5/18 – Venom
10/12/18 – Kanye’s MAGA Hat
10/26/18 – Roman Reigns
11/9/18 – Jeopardy! Champion (and friend of the site!) Mary Ann Borer
11/16/18 – West Life Ever: Stan Lee
11/30/18 – Wolverine: The Long Night
12/7/18 – Avengers: Endgame trailer
12/14/18 – Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
12/21/18 – Nothing

This is normally where I’d give you some insight on my thought process, but I feel like a lot of this needs no explanation. It’s either obvious why it was chosen, or it’s indicative of just what kind of a shitshow pop culture was for that particular week. I’m particularly proud of my West Life Ever posts, for both Toys “R” Us and Stan Lee. Unbeknownst to most, the West Life Ever distinction was created with Adam West and Stan Lee in mind. As they got older, we all knew it was only a matter of time, and they both meant a lot to me. While the designation has been given to a few other things, (like TRU), it was custom made for those two, and I don’t know when, or if, it’ll ever be used again. I can’t think of anyone else in pop culture that meant as much to me, but I guess time will tell.

The year basically started with Black Panther and ended with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. In between the two, we all lived about five lifetimes and have the scars to prove it. I spent a lot of time thinking about what this is all about, and why it is that I do it every week. In the end, I guess I want to make some kind of an impact – leave something behind. While pop culture is fleeting, I pour a lot more into “disposable” posts than makes actual sense. I know I’ve said that I stop caring about these things once the clock strikes 12:00 on Saturday morning, but up until that time, I’m as wired as a kid waiting for his dad to come back from “going out to get cigarettes”. “Are they reading it?”, I anxiously wonder as I constantly retweet the links and look for engagement. Like the aforementioned kid, whose dad is never coming back, the audience never really comes. It leads to a lot of existential questions, like “Well, who am I?” and “Why would anyone care what I think?” Maybe the posts were too long. Everyone’s in a hurry, and don’t like reading long things. I don’t want to contribute to “Hot Take Culture”, and I try to write reasoned arguments for my opinions. Yeah, yeah blogs are dying. I get it. Maybe I need a podcast, ya know, ’cause everybody has a podcast. Maybe this should be video, but that hardly seems worth the effort. Still, in all this introspection, one thing stood out – one thing that proved my “impact”, and would withstand the test of time.

If you’re a longtime reader, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, ’cause I did it for my first kid, and I don’t need to look like I’m playing favorites. Still, the best thing about 2018 was Charlotte Bruce West. I know it’s the hip thing now to hate kids and love the Hell out of dogs instead, so if that’s you, then you should probably stop reading.

This was not a fun year for anyone, and some days were harder than others. The thing about Charley, which was so surprising to me, is that she’s such a happy baby. Sure, those first few months she didn’t realize she was smiling, and it was just something her mouth was doing. Over time, though, they became genuine smiles. Smiles that could make a bad day better. She’s just such a happy baby. Where does she get that from? Was I ever that happy? If so, what happened? I only hope it’s something she can hold onto throughout life. I hear a positive attitude can take ya places, and I sure as Hell wouldn’t know. I’m not one of those parents who’s all “She’s going to be President someday.” She could be a blogger with readership in the double digits, and that’d be just fine. At least she came by it honestly.

I read this Conan O’Brien interview in The New York Times the other day, and it really resonated with me. If you’ve run out of free NYT articles for the month, or just don’t feel like clicking, it’s him discussing the decision to change his TBS show from a full hour to a half hour format. After 25 years in late night, he looked back on what he had done, and thought about how he would like to go forward. He said that, while it might seem selfish, he wanted an experience that allowed him to have the most fun because, in the end, none of it matters. “This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.”

On the worst days, I can come home and play “Grocery Store” with my oldest, while keeping the youngest from swallowing a Hatchimal. I’ve made, and continue to make, my impact on them, and that’s what matters. As for this, let’s make it fun again. No more “writing for the audience”. I want to be as blissfully happy as a 7-month old baby, and that’s accomplished by focusing on things a lot of people don’t care about, like 90s boybands and forgotten teen sitcoms. Let’s bring back Thrift Justice! Let’s dive into that backlog of comics that’s only been growing. No more expectations, as I’m leaving that mentality in 2018. It won’t be an overnight process, but it’s the destination I’m working towards. I’ve already made a mark somewhere, so let’s see where that takes us. As a great, rich man once yelled, “You wanna get nuts?! Let’s get nuts!” Let’s consider 2019 the year of How Will Got His Groove Back. In the meantime, let’s leave 2018 behind like the garbage year that it was.

So, for being the best thing to happen to me in 2018, and for inspiring this introspection, Charley West had the West Year Ever.

11th Jan2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 1/11/19

by Will

Welcome to the first West Week Ever of 2019! Not to worry – West Year Ever is coming early next week, but I had to keep the trains running on time. A LOT has happened since last we met, and I’m exhausted even thinking about it. Let’s see if I can make it entertaining for ya!

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Ya know, I was really thinking I could retire this feature this year. I mean, it started getting a little stale, even though new names were added to the #MeToo list by the week. The problem, however, is that the whole thing ran out of steam. We’re 11 days into 2019, and I can honestly say that #MeToo is dead. Sure, there are some last vestiges around, but it seems most folks just don’t give much of shit anymore. It’s hard for outrage to mean anything when your constant state is “outraged”. It’s simply the new normal, and we’re seeing not much coming from it. Take these examples:

John Lasseter Update – Lasseter, the former head of Pixar, is a great example of the problem with #MeToo. Everyone says they want “justice” for the victims, but they’ve never come to consensus as to what that looks like. From everything I read, Lasseter just liked to hug ya too long, like the creepy uncle at the family reunion. He wasn’t dangling jobs, nor was he having sexual contact with these women. So, as long as he learns from his mistake, and says “Sorry, the Hug Factory’s closed”, shouldn’t that be enough? Still, folks had problems with him being named the head of SkyDance Animation this week. I mean, the man has got to eat. He’s got bills to pay. But folks seem to want him to never work again. So, if we run these people out of their industries, what then? How will they live? Who will support them? Ya can’t put him in jail ’cause what he did was hardly a jailable offense. What happens when we finally put down the pitchforks?

Bryan Singer – The rumors and allegations about Singer have been flying around for years, and it’s reportedly his unprofessional behavior that prompted Rami Malek to get him fired from directing Bohemian Rhapsody (which is interesting, since Malek has nowhere near that kind of clout, so whatever Singer was doing must’ve been pretty bad). Still, that didn’t stop the film from winning the Golden Globe Award for Best Drama Motion Picture AND Best Actor in a Drama Motion Picture. Hate to break it to ya, but a lot of that comes down to the director, which is why it’s funny that nobody mentioned Singer that night. It’s even reported that when asked, some involved said “Tonight is not the night to discuss that.”  Still, Singer was still credited on the film, so he won an award, too. Here’s how he handled that:

He’s like the Gotham City villain who boasts when Batman fails to catch him.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Update – Whenever more news breaks on this story, I’m giddier than Roscoe P. Coltrane when he thinks he’s finally about to nab those Duke boys! National Geographic has decided to temporarily shut down production on Tyson’s talk show, StarTalk, until the investigation into the sexual misconduct allegations against him is concluded. Considering that National Geographic is currently owned by Fox, this could all be some conspiracy to attack the science community, but I don’t care. Somebody that smug had it coming, as “the bill comes due.”

R. Kelly – Do I have to talk about R. Kelly? Do I? OK, well the Black Community has been glued to their TV sets watching the docuseries Surviving R. Kelly, in which the sexual abuse allegations against the singer are explored. If you don’t have time to watch it, CNN has a great timeline of the R. Kelly scandal. It has forced everyone to take a side. Either they’re like, “Naw, he’s cancelled!” or they’re defending him with “But what about ‘I Believe I Can Fly’?!” Artists who’ve worked with him in the past are now denouncing the collaborations. For example, Lady Gaga apologized for her duet with him, and said that she would be removing the song from streaming services. Increasingly there are cries of “Why isn’t R. Kelly in jail?!”, but it took 30 years for Bill Cosby, so maybe it’ll take just as long here. After all, a criminal investigation on him has been opened in Georgia following the airing of the documentary. That said, he still has his supporters, as his sales and streams surged following the broadcast. I mean, they could prove that Kelly filled Aaliyah’s luggage with rocks, and some folks would still defend him, so…

Harvey Weinstein Update – How fitting that a discussion on #MeToo should end where it began. Old Harv’ is still in the shit, but this week a judge threw Ashley Judd’s sexual harassment suit against him out of court. It was ruled that a hotel encounter between the two did not count as “workplace sexual harassment”. The court, however, was quick to state that it was not doubting that Judd had been sexually harassed, but rather she had not been harassed under the California statute under which she had filed her suit. Judd plans to pursue her other cases against Weinstein for defamation and intentional interference with prospective economic advantage.

It’s been an interesting time in the world of professional wrestling. First off, Jason David Frank, known for his portrayal of the Greatest Power Ranger of All Time, Tommy Oliver, will be stepping into the ring for the Laredo Wrestling Alliance in Texas. Um, really? He doesn’t even have the clout to get into TNA or something? I’m really hoping he’s just doing this as a favor to some high school friend who owes money to a loan shark. Anyway, he appeared at LWA’s last show of 2018, sparking an angle with some wrestler named Brysin Scott, who more assuredly works at a Jiffy Lube during the week. Seriously, I have 2.5 times this guy’s Twitter followers. When’s my match?!

Meanwhile, there was a wrestling match in a bar, so you know it was one of the classiest matches in history. Wrestler Priscilla Kelly horrified the world when she pulled a bloody tampon from her tights, and shoved it down her opponent’s throat. The video of the incident went viral, making her the talk of the squared circle. While she’s being criticized by older wrestlers, she has admitted that it wasn’t an actual menstrual tampon, and that the act was in line with former gimmicks from male wrestlers, like Mick Foley’s Mr. Socko from WWE’s Attitude Era.

Finally, on the heels of the success of September’s “All In” independent wrestling event, All Elite Wrestling was announced this week, with Cody Rhodes and the Young Bucks as both in-ring performers and executive vice presidents for the promotion. Financially backed by Tony and Shahid Khan (owners of the Jacksonville Jaguars), the creation of this promotion will undoubtedly be a blow to Ring of Honor, from which most of the wrestlers came. Right now, though, the biggest name on the roster is Chris Jericho who, at 48, probably doesn’t have much gas left in the tank. In any case, between Vince McMahon bringing back the XFL, the Khans investing in this, and the Bezos divorce, 2019 is looking to be a big year for billionaires throwing their money away.

So there’s this controversy in Rochester, NY, where meteorologist Jeremy Kappell was fired for an on-air slip gaffe, where he referred to a local park as Martin Luther Coon Park. Now, he has said that it was an accident, as he was trying to say the name too quickly and stumbled over his words. Are people really still using “coon” as a slur in 2019? There’s been a bunch of back and forth online about whether or not it was intentional, with NBC’s Al Roker coming to his defense. Here’s how I’d say you determine it: is the park located in the Black part of town? Considering everything named after MLK is usually in the absolute worst parts of towns, I’ll bet it is. If so, there’s a good chance it was an intentional, though antiquated, slur. Even as a Freudian slip, that shit came from somewhere. However, if it somehow is miraculously located in the suburbs, nestled between a Whole Foods and an Orangetheory Fitness, I think it was truly an accident. According to Wikipedia, “The park is open year-round and features an ice skating rink and live music venue.” Yeah, that was an accident. Maybe Fox News will hire him, as they fight “PC culture” and all that jazz. Do they even have weather on Fox News, or do they just blame all the precipitation on the Liberals and call it a day?

Speaking of controversies, Oscar favorite Green Book is MIRED in them. First off, co-writer Nick Vallelonga came under fire this week when an old tweet of his surfaced, where he appeared to support Donald Trump’s claims that Muslims were cheering on rooftops on 9/11. Not a good look when 1) Vallelonga’s father is one of the main characters in the movie, which is about racism & tolerance and 2) the film’s star, Mahershala Ali, is Muslim. Womp womp. He issued the same meaningless apology that folks issue when these things happen these days, but it’s unclear if it will affect the film’s Oscar chances. It did win the Best Screenplay Golden Globe Sunday night, which was also shared with director Peter Farrelly. Farrelly is involved in a bit of controversy, as it’s surfaced that he used to flash his genitals to the stars and crew on his film sets. And to cap it off, the family of Dr. Don Shirley – the man the film is ultimately about – said that they were never given any input on the film. So, is this a perfect storm of fuckery, or is it a hit job meant to sink the film’s award chances? The world may never know…

Trailer Park

IO – How many times is Hollywood gonna keep making this movie? I don’t even really watch that many movies, and I’ve seen this movie. This is basically The Mountain Between Us – IN SPACE! One of two things happens: they eventually make it to the launch site, despite adversity and challenges OR they stay on Earth and repopulate. If you ask me, I’d take fucking over the risk of space travel ANY day.

Russian Doll – Season 1

I love how Natasha Lyonne is notoriously batshit crazy, yet still manages to get work. Good for her! Anyway, I’d watch this as a movie, but I can’t see staying engaged enough to come back for multiple episodes. I also feel like it’s a stretch to want to get more than one season out of this premise, but what do I know? Sure, it’s got that “Produced by Amy Poehler” attached to it, but that didn’t help I Feel Bad.

Little – As much as I love the actress who plays Diane on Black-ish, this premise is EXHAUSTING. I will, however, give them credit for the White love interest.

Carmen Sandiego – NO! NO, NO, NO! Let’s take it back to the source. Carmen Sandiego is a stone cold bitch. She’s a former ACME agent who, somehow, fell from grace and used everything she’d learned to become the world’s greatest thief. She is NOT Robin Hood. Everything doesn’t have to be black and white. Do we always have to teach kids that there’s right and wrong? Can’t we teach them there’s sometimes a “wright”, gray area where some things dwell? Carmen is in that gray area. She doesn’t need some deep cover justification for what she does. She just steals shit because she’s a disgruntled former employee and she’s sticking it to her old bosses. THAT’s the cartoon I wanna see!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • A whole bunch of shows nobody was really watching were cancelled, including Marlon (NBC), Midnight, Texas (NBC), and Z Nation (SyFy).
  • After the success of the “Elseworlds” crossover, The CW has formally ordered a pilot for Batwoman.
  • NBC announced that Al Roker, Dylan Dreyer, Craig Melvin, and Sheinelle Jones will be the permanent replacements for Megan Kelly’s vacated 9 AM slot of Today.
  • Paramount has quietly cancelled Star Trek 4, which isn’t much of of a surprise considering that cast was getting to be too big for those individual roles. Then you’ve got to factor in how the mob killed Chekov…
  • Toddler favorite “Baby Shark” entered the Billboard Top 100 this week at #32. Luckily the song hasn’t really taken over the West household, as we’re more of a “Finger Family” crowd.
  • Karen Gillan is slated to star in the film Gunpowder Milkshake, which would sound more interesting if we didn’t already live in a world that gave us Lollipop Chainsaw
  • Criminal Minds has been renewed for a 15th, and final, 10-episode season. I guess your grandpa will just have to spend that time watching NCIS: Boca Raton or whatever the fuck CBS puts in its place.
  • Aquaman has made over $1 billion dollars at the international box office. If you needed proof that we’re living in the Darkest Timeline, I think that’s it right there.
  • It’s official – a Venom sequel is coming! Seeing as how the first one did really well, and Sony is in the business of making money, this was a no-brainer.
  • Luke Wilson has been cast as Pat Dugan/S.T.R.I.P.E. in Stargirl on the DC Universe streaming service. Meanwhile, some blog no one has ever heard of reported that the DC Universe service is having trouble getting subscribers. Well, take it from this blog no one has ever heard of that doesn’t come as much of a surprise. Besides Timothy Dalton in Doom Patrol, I think Wilson is the biggest star on the “network”. Do you really wanna build your empire on Luke Wilson? The lesser of the Wilson brothers?!
  • Apparently there are radio signals coming from 1.5 billion light years away, which is unfortunate because we do not have the proper leadership for an alien invasion right now.
  • Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of Batman Beyond (Batman of the Future, for you international folks). While we only got 3 seasons, it was a great show worth checking out. Also, look for some Batman goodness on this site pretty soon!
  • Kevin Smith has a Jay & Silent Bob reboot moving into pre-production, which is where most of his projects go to die. Remember Clerks 3? Mallrats 2? All dead. But Pepperidge Farm remembers.

  • Walmart impressed even their haters with this love letter to pop culture during the Golden Globes last Sunday. This almost had the West Week Ever it’s so good!
  • I mentioned it earlier, but the world’s richest man, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, might have to settle for being 5th richest, as he and wife Mackenzie announced they’re divorcing after 25 years of marriage, and she could easily get half (no pre-nup). This would make her the richest woman in the world. Think of all the shoes she’ll be able to buy!
  • While on the circuit to promote Upside, Kevin Hart is still apologizing for not apologizing. His next stand-up special will probably be called something like “Done Being Sorry”. I don’t even care if it comes out a year from now. He just can’t let go.
  • In order to focus on brands that they own, Mattel relinquished the DC Comics boys toy license, which has been picked up by Spin Master. While a bunch of folks online are like, “Good riddance, Mattel!”, I don’t think Spin Master knows what they’re getting themselves into.

 

Chances are you didn’t make it through this week without hearing about Marie Kondo. Her Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, debuted last week, and she’s been the talk of the town. You see, she developed the KonMari method of organization, where you hold your belongings, and get rid of anything that doesn’t bring you joy. She emphasizes that the art of tidying up is not in deciding what to throw away, but rather in deciding what to keep.

Yeah, yeah. it all sounds well and good, but people are fickle creatures. For example, there are songs I hated 20 years ago that I enjoy now. Still, when I download new albums (yes, I’m the guy who still does that), I immediately delete the songs I don’t like. I could be missing out on something that’s an acquired taste! Maybe I just needed more time. This happens a lot with collectors, as we buy and sell the same items multiple times. Maybe it didn’t bring us joy at that very minute. Maybe we had an emergency bill to pay. Either way, it’s a cycle and not a final path to decluttering your life.

Despite my lack of faith in the method, though, it’s taking the world by storm. Everyone is going through their belongings, hoping to feel joy from any of them. Meanwhile, the thrift stores are piling up with new donations, which is always a good thing for thrifters like me #chaching.

So, I may not like what you do, Marie Kondo, but I’m sure glad that you’re doing it. For that, Marie Kondo and her KonMari method had the West Week Ever.

04th Jan2019

The WBW40 – Will’s Top 40 Songs of 2018

by Will

Well, here we are again, with another year behind us. While this is the second year of me compiling this list, I’m actually starting to enjoy it more than West Year Ever. I know that most of you don’t listen to “my” music, so it’s basically me introducing new stuff to you rather than boosting things you’ve already heard. I have, however, changed the way it works this year. You see, last year I had this rule that the song had to be released in 2017. This was problematic because it left out a lot of songs that came out near the tail end of 2016 that didn’t really get exposure until 2017. So, this year I’m throwing that out the window; if it was released as a single, released to radio, or just plain became “popular” in 2018, it counts.

Remember, this is just me, talking about music I loved during the year. It doesn’t necessarily take into account chart position or anything like that. Some of these songs will be hugely popular, while some you’ll be experiencing for the first time. And, yes, while a lot of these are part of the “country” genre, I put that in quotes because format really means nothing anymore. You could put the vast majority of them on Z100, Hot 99.5, or KIIS-FM (basically any iHeartMedia station with a Jingle Ball) and they’d be right at home. Don’t believe me? Then let’s take a closer look!

40. Dean Summerwind (Dustin Christensen) – Parked By The Lake

Let’s start out with a joke track, huh? After 2018, I feel like we need a laugh. I was introduced to this song by The Bobby Bones Show, as Bobby had stumbled upon it online and felt the world needed to hear it. The beauty of it is its earnestness. I mean, Summerwind sings it like he’s NOT just singing the same 6 words over and over again. The song is actually by season 9 contestant of The Voice, Dustin Christensen, who released it online as “Dean Summerwind”. I’m not sure if the exposure really did much for the song, but it has a little over 400,000 streams on YouTube, so maybe it’s helping to get him some attention.

39. Travis Denning – David Ashley Parker from Powder Springs

I swear, I didn’t put 2 joke tracks back to back! This is actually a REAL song. Still, I love a song that tells a story, and this one does it in spades. In case you didn’t click “Play”, let me break it down for ya: Denning is singing about the guy whose fake ID he’d bought in order to buy beer. Since he knew he’d be quizzed about his demographic info, the chorus is basically him running down all the stats he’d memorized from the ID. Well, I thought this was a kinda clever idea for a song.

38. Brantley Gilbert – The Ones That Like Me

First, some backstory. I wasn’t so sure about Brantley Gilbert. I mean, you see him in the video, and we all know what we tend to think about country artists. He wasn’t necessarily a guy I think I’d want to befriend. Then, something earlier this year changed my mind about him. Remember that Waffle House shooting, where James Shaw Jr (a Black man) overpowered the gunman? Well, when the dust settled, Gilbert started a fundraiser for Shaw and the victims of the shooting. Immediately, I was like, “You OK, Gilbert.”

So, this song. It really speaks to me – so much so that, were I a tattoo person, I’d probably get the chorus put on my back or something. I’ve been blogging for 15 years, and pretty active on social media for, like, 11. I think this song definitely describes me both IRL and online. I’ve come to find I’m somewhat polarizing. You either love me or you don’t give a shit. At least that’s what my Google Analytics stats would tell ya!


37. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill – The Rest of Our Life

So, you’ll know this song is “country” just by looking at the artists, right? Well, did you know it was co-written by Ed Sheeran? Huh? Well, did ya? Anyway, this entry exemplifies a problem I have with the format of these posts. Ideally I’d throw together a Spotify playlist, but not everyone uses Spotify, so I use YouTube. That, however, is problematic because sometimes the video distracts from the song. That’s what’s happening here. What the Hell is up with McGraw’s hat? It’s not even a normal cowboy hat, and he’s wearing that with a tuxedo?! And I love how it’s trying to convey “We fight like everyone else”, yet they have to get their limo driver to stop and let them out, and you just know Faith didn’t have any money to pay that diner. Anyway, it’s a nice song about spending your lives together, so close your eyes and listen to really get that message.

36. LANCO – Born to Love You

LANCO made last year’s list with “Greatest Love Story”, and they’re back this year with this song. Did you realize that the Backstreet Boys never really stopped recording or performing? No, they’ve spent the past 10 years or so cranking out forgettable songs that sound just like this. That is when OneRepublic doesn’t put out something like this first. What I’m saying is that it’s not an amazing song, but it’s pretty catchy and would be right at home outside of country radio, where it hasn’t really performed too well.

35. Florida Georgia Line – Simple

I actually really like Florida Georgia Line, and have ever since Nelly helped them put “Cruise” on the map all those years ago. The problem, though, is that for every 3 songs they put out with the impact of “Cruise”, we get a “Simple”. It just didn’t leave an impact on me like a lot of their other stuff. That’s why this isn’t higher. Still, who doesn’t love a song that teaches you how to count AND spell?! Anyway, this probably won’t be the last time we hear from them on this list…

34. Thomas Rhett – Life Changes

Again, a catchy song that tells a story. A few years ago, nobody really knew who Rhett was. As his star was rising, he and his wife adopted a baby from Uganda, only to find out that his wife was pregnant. So, now he’s juggling his new family with his career. He put out a few songs this year, but this one wasn’t my favorite, which is why it’s down here. We’ll come back to him later.

33. Jason Aldean – You Make It Easy

I like its bluesy sound. It’s that easy. Still, it’s not my favorite Aldean release of the year, which we’ll get to in a bit.


32. Dylan Scott – Hooked

Scott is just BEGGING to cross over to other formats. I mean, his last single’s chorus talked about how he loved when his wife rapped Eminem songs. It was a decidedly country song, but I don’t feel that way about this offering, which is pretty catchy. If he keeps putting out stuff like this he just might get his crossover wish.

31. Dustin Lynch – Good Girl

The chorus here is just great to me. This might be too country for some, but I don’t care, I don’t care. “I could take you home to mama, take you to the church right down the street!” It was a song that definitely grew on me, but it’s more infectious than you might think right now. Anyway, this is a case where I actually like what the video does for the song, as it’s the antithesis of what the song is talking about. She is NOT a good girl!

30. Chris Jansen – Drunk Girl

OK, if you’ve made it this far, thank you. And also, I’m sorry. Why? Because you’re going to HATE me for this one. It’s basically the country version of “The Christmas Shoes” in how cloying it is, but I do think it’s a clever spin on what you think it’s going to be about. Still, it’s a good message for those willing to heed it, and it’s kinda weird the video comes with a trigger warning, but I get it. In the words of every man after a scandal, “as a father of daughters”, I get it.

29. David Lee Murphy & Kenny Chesney – Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

There’s not a lot here, but it got a lot of airplay and eventually worked its way into my heart. It’s just got that laid back beat, and it’s the kind of thing you’d expect from Chesney. It’s “White folks smoking weed on the beach” music. White people can actually get away with that shit! It’s basically a modern, Caucasian “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

28. Luke Combs – Beautiful Crazy

You’re going to be seeing Combs a lot on this list. I feel like country, more than other genres, operates like pro wrestling. Certain artists get a “push” to the top more than others. For whatever reason, the labels decided that Combs was going to get that push. I’m not taking anything away from him. I enjoy pretty much everything he puts out. I just find it odd how some get the push while others don’t. He doesn’t look like every other country star today, so maybe that’s why. His look is “relatable”. Anyway, this is just a nice little ballad, but we’ll see more of him down the line.


27. Luke Bryan – Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset

When my wife first hear this song, she said “That’s a guaranteed way to get skin cancer.” While she’s not wrong, it’s a catchy song. A lot of the country was introduced to Bryan as he joined the judges panel on the American Idol reboot. I didn’t watch any of that, so I don’t know if they ever used any of his music. I will say this is probably his strongest song on this list, from a “musical” perspective, but he will appear later for reasons.

26. Lindsay Ell – Champagne

Remember I was talking about Bobby Bones? Well, he also introduced me to Ell. You see, they were dating and he gave her music a lot of exposure on his show. That backfired, though, because a lot of other country radio shows hate him, so they wouldn’t play her music. He felt bad that he was affecting her career, and they broke up. And she started getting more airplay elsewhere. I don’t understand what her affinity is for the country genre, though, because this song is NOT country, and she would do so much better as a Top 40 artist.

25. Jordan Davis – Singles You Up

I like the phrase “singles you up” better than “breaks up with you”. Like, you’re talking to your friend about his relationship, and you just drop, “Oh, she’s about to single you up!” I really hope that becomes a thing, but everyone knows that slang is stolen from the gays and the Blacks, so unless one of them created it, it ain’t gonna stick. Anyway, it was a big song this year, and it’s just so fun to sing along to.


24. Kenny Chesney – Get Along

I hated this song when it came out, and I remember even linking to it with “Fuck Kenny Chesney” back when it came out. You see, I hated the timing of the song, as it was when everyone was calling for civility while doing nothing to actually promote it. It was that “There’s bad people on both sides” argument, when one side had Neo Nazis who were running over protestors, while the other side had knitted pussy hats. NOT the same.

Anyway, after cooling down, and if you can actually stand the cloying sentimentality of it, it’s a catchy song. Plus, I love how stream of consciousness it gets at the end of the chorus: “Learn to dance, call your mom, buy a boat.” Um, some of these are easy, and some are gonna require a loan agent. Anyway, I think the video is tone deaf, because while Chesney probably thinks it’s something of a love letter to his fans, it doesn’t promote the diversity the song speaks of. Ain’t no Black people at a Kenny Chesney concert. Shit, I once had a country mega ticket, but I wasn’t going to a Kenny Chesney concert. If you get bored, just look up how many fights and 911 calls those things typically generate.

23. Carrie Underwood – Cry Pretty

Ah, the debut of Underwood’s new face. You see, a little over a year ago, she had a bad fall at her house and her face required a bunch of stitches. She was holed up like Jack Napier for a bit because she didn’t want folks to see her. Anyway, this was something of her “comeback” from that ordeal and, surprise, she looks exactly the same. Anyway, it’s a pretty good power ballad, but it wasn’t strong enough to really get her into my top 20.

22. Brett Young – Mercy

Last year, Young made #33 on this list, with “In Case You Didn’t Know”. Just like that song, this is a beautiful ballad, with nothing inherently country about it. I’m starting to think that country is the new contemporary Christian genre, in that it attracts new artists because of the ease of entry. Then, once established, they gravitate to their natural genre (see: Creed, Katy Perry).

21. Dan + Shay – Speechless

Dan + Shay are prime examples of what I was saying in the last entry. Listening to the Bobbycast (Man, I pimp Bones so hard he ought to be paying me!), these guys did NOT set out to be country artists. Hell, Shay was a solo artist on T-Pain’s Nappy Boy Entertainment before the duo was formed. No, these guys are less Brooks & Dunn, and more Savage Garden. Anyway, pretty song, but not my fave D+S track of the year, which we’re getting to. You know how some movies are clearly made for “Oscar season”? Well, this was clearly made to cash in on Wedding Season.


20. Jake Owen – I Was Jack (You Were Diane)

Funny story – I always hated “Jack & Diane”. Even with its iconic intro, I couldn’t deal when the lyrics started. I didn’t even like when Jessica Simpson sampled it. Then some things started happening in pop culture, which softened my stance on the song. First, there was Black-ish, where the twins are named Jack & Diane, which I thought was kinda cute. Then, Jake Owen came along with this song. I like Owen, and I felt he did something different with the source material. It’s basically a Jack & Diane remix, and who doesn’t love a good remix? Anyway, I think I may like “Jack & Diane” now.

19. Midland – Burn Out

Midland made #5 on last year’s list, with “Drinkin’ Problem”. This song is more of the same, and it’s not higher because I just can’t vouch for their “authenticity”. Like I said last year, it’s almost like they’re cosplaying country. They don’t come from the industry, and it feels like their act was put together studying game tapes. Still, they’re so fucking good at the vintage country formula that you can’t help but be impressed by what they’re cranking out. I also love how all their videos take place in this early 80s yesteryear.


18. Thomas Rhett – Marry Me

Hey, Rhett’s back! This time, he’s singing about “The One That Got Away” – only now he’s got to go to her wedding. I don’t feel like this got as much airplay as “Life Changes”, but I felt it was the better song.


17. Maren Morris – Rich

Last year, Morris was #15 on this list with “I Could Use a Love Song”. Again, another artist who could be doing so much more if she crossed over, as we’re going to see in a bit. Anyway, it’s so coquettish how could you NOT love this song?


16. Jason Aldean, featuring Miranda Lambert – Drowns The Whiskey

I love the play on words here, about how whiskey’s supposed to drown the memories, but instead it’s the other way around. I feel like the song kinda misses its mark, though. With the addition of Lambert, you’d think it was supposed to be like the old country duets, but this is no Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitter collaboration. Lambert really doesn’t bring enough to the song to warrant her being here. Any up and coming country startlet could’ve done this harmony. Did Kelsi Ballerini not answer Aldean’s calls or something?


15. Luke Combs – She Got The Best of Me

Our old buddy Luke Combs is back, breaking the top 20 with this hit. I don’t know if the voiceover in the video is true, but if he really didn’t pick up a guitar until he was 21, he’s done AMAZING things in the past 7 years. Kind of inspirational, really. Again, though, the video is distracting because you’re led to believe the “she” is the chick from the breaking news segment at the beginning of the video, and he she got the best of him because he can’t get over her death. But then it turns into a standard on the road/tour video, and just kinda kicks that narrative to the curve. Anyway, good song.


14. Dierks Bentley featuring Brothers Osborne – Burning Man

Bentley’s first appearance in the Top 20 won’t be his last. We’ll get to that later. No, I really like this song, and can’t really categorize it. It’s not “country”, but it’s not “rock”. It’s got that bar band vibe to it, where it wouldn’t have been out of place for it to be a Hootie and the Blowfish song.


13. Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey – The Middle

If you’ve set foot in a Target this year, then you’ve no doubt heard this song. It’s just as infectious as Zedd’s entry from last year, “Stay”, featuring Alessia Cara, and it shows just what Morris is capable of doing outside the country genre. More of this, please!


12. Brett Eldredge – The Long Way

A ballad about a guy wanting to know more about his new girl by her showing him around her hometown, taking the “long way” around. I think it’s a beautiful song and sentiment. He wants to know her in and out and thinks this is best way to know where she comes from. I like Eldredge and he’s had a bunch of songs that would’ve made the list had I been doing this longer than 2 years. Anyway, I expect to see more of him here in the future.


11. Morgan Wallen featuring Florida Georgia Line – Up Down

I told ya Florida Georgia Line would be back! I love this song but I just couldn’t let it crack the Top 10. If you remember, Morgan got to #7 with “The Way I Talk”, but this song didn’t speak to me as much as that one. Still, it’s a great FLAGA Line collab, and just a fun song. It’s a song about drinkin’ and the weekend. What’s more country than that? Plus, bonus points for shoving “BFE” into a song that gets national airplay.


10. Tim McGraw – Neon Church

Who knew McGraw and his wacky hat would make it back to the countdown? Well, if you’re a regular West Week Ever reader, then it shouldn’t be too much of a suprise, as I basically spotlighted it one week. Yeah, it’s Tim McGraw, but this is basically his rendition of “Purple Rain”. Now, some of you might call that sacrilege, but I’m talking more about what’s going on in the song’s background than I am about him attempting to evoke Prince. I looped this song for an entire work day once, so if that’s not enough for it to crack the Top 10, I don’t know what is.


9. Luke Bryan – Most People Are Good

OK, I feel like I should apologize for this song first. Isn’t that sad? I mean, I really like the song, even if it’s not Bryan’s strongest vocals of the year (those would’ve been in “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset”). No, I’m apologizing because I know how treacly the message of the song is going to come across. Hell, it’s almost the same as Chesney’s with “Get Along”. The difference here, though, is that there’s a subtle message that gets lost: in the chorus “I believe you love who you love, ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of.” That’s the closest country music has ever gotten to not only acknowledging, but also embracing, its LGBTQ fan base. Plus, it really does have a positive message. For the record, this is the video Chesney should’ve shot for “Get Along”.


8. Jake Owen – Down To The Honkeytonk

I love the Hell out of this song, and let me tell you why. A few years ago, I had a shortlived feature (“shortlived”? I think I wrote TWO posts) called “Reboot That Bitch” where I’d take an old concept and reboot it. Ya know, kinda like what Hollywood is doing now. Anyway, I chose the Lee Majors 80s drama The Fall Guy, and I feel like this song would be PERFECT as the theme song for a reboot of that show. As the original theme sung about the lack of glory behind being a stuntman, this song is about a regular guy who might not be spectacular, but in his neck of the woods – the honkytonk – he’s The Man. Press play, close yur eyes, and picture a Rounded-Line 1981 GMC K-2500 Wideside jumping over shit.


7. Luke Combs – One Number Away

If I were doing a West Year Ever of just music, it’d go to Luke Combs. Making his THIRD appearance on the chart, and OH SHIT! THIS VIDEO IS THE PREQUEL TO “SHE GOT THE BEST OF ME”!!! Yeah, I’m just watching this video for the first time. Huh. So, he took this and made it a Don’t Talk and Drive PSA. Interesting choice. Anyway, I feel like, as with all of Combs’s songs, he really puts his soul into this one. It was kinda hard ranking his 3 biggest singles of the year, but I definitely feel this was his best.

6. Blake Shelton – Turnin’ Me On

This song isn’t as fun as Shelton’s entry last year, “I’ll Name The Dogs”. Still, there was something haunting about this song, and I didn’t realize what it was until a local DJ spelled it out for me: It’s basically a Stevie Nicks song. You can get lost in its retro sound, and I recommend that you do, because otherwise you’ll realize he’s singing about Gwen Stefani, and it’ll take you completely out of it (I’m pretty sure her kisses taste like Bubble Yum and NOT whiskey). Anyway, this song achieves that same yesteryear vibe that Midland specialize in.


5. Dierks Bentley – Woman, Amen

A bombastic ode to women, from a country star no less! I really like this track, and it became something as an inside joke in our family. My wife and I would listen to it, and I’d say something like, “Man, she sounds terrific. I wonder where I could get a wife like that.” Yeah, I’m an asshole, but we all had a good laugh.


4. Dan + Shay – Tequila

They’re back! While they closed out the year with “Speechless”, they dominated most of the year with “Tequila”. It’s just so smooth – something tequila is not. Still, it is highly relatable in how the taste of something can bring back so many memories. I really hope more people discover this duo.


3. Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – Shallow

Another song that got a mention in West Week Ever. In fact, it HAD the West Week Ever. From the soundtrack for A Star Is Born, this song is just so much better than it has any right to be. Cooper handles his part deftly, but Stefani (I’m not even gonna call her Gaga here because she’s shed that disguise effortlessly) really swings for the fences in the second half of the song. Another song I looped for an entire work day, as I kept discovering new things about it.


2. Jimmie Allen – Best Shot

I’m sure some of y’all skimmed this list, and said “What, Will? No Black people at all?” Well, here ya go. It’s not that I’m holding out on you, but there just aren’t many Black artists on the stations I listen to. For the longest time, there was just Darius Rucker and Cowboy Troy. Well, that changed this year, as Jimmie Allen made his way onto the scene. It’s good to see a brother make his way in an industry not necessarily cut out for him, and he also just seems like a genuinely good guy. I’ve listened to a ton of his interviews this year, and followed his rise. “Best Shot” is such a great song.  He probably doesn’t do enough vocal runs to get on R&B radio, but he’s a force that really deserves to be out there, and I’m glad he’s found his way in a genre that might surprise some.


1. Bebe Rexha featuring Florida Georgia Line – Meant To Be

Funny story – this song just missed making it onto the bottom of the 2017 list, but I didn’t think it was going to make much of an impact. The thing I like about FLAGA Line is that they don’t always have to be the center of attention. Sure, they’ve got their own hits, but they spent a good chunk of the past year and a half just doing guest spots for other artists, like Morgan Wallen and Rexha here. Meanwhile, I felt like Rexha was just another flash in the pan Pop THOT who’d be here today, and gone tomorrow. Surel she’s hot, but was that going to matter on the charts? Well, it made Rexha the first female artist to debut at the top of the Hot Country Songs chart, and proceeded to spend FIFTY WEEKS at the top spot. It spent the majority of the year as the #1 country song. It’s gone 4 times platinum in a music industry where songs and albums just don’t perform like that anymore. It was without a doubt the biggest country song of the year and, with its crossover appeal, was one of the biggest songs, period, of 2018.

So, there you have it. They might not have all been the best songs of 2018,  but they were certainly my favorite songs of the year. I’m sure that you stumbled upon something up there that you liked, so drop me a comment down in my shiny new Disqus commenting system!

21st Dec2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/21/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM)

CBS – This is like one of those movies where a whole bunch of seemingly unrelated plotlines converge and turn out to be related to one another in the giant, overarching story.

Over the past few months, I’ve pointed out the Les Moonves situation, as well as last week’s Michael Weatherly allegations from Eliza Dushku. Well, Dushku has shed a bit more light on the whole quagmire in a post for The Boston Globe. In it, she revealed that Weatherly used to boast about his friendship with Moonves, and that he would use Moonves’s plane, and they’d vacation together. While it probably originally seemed like Weatherly was bragging, it’s now clear that this was also something of a threat, as he was indicating he had sway with the big guy, and Dushku realized this the hard way when she got fired. 

Well, in an interesting twist, it has now been revealed that Moonves was behind the $9.5 million settlement to Dushku, as he was trying to quietly resolve the matter as CBS was in talks to (unsuccessfully) merge with Viacom. Oh, and he allegedly snuck the payment into Bull‘s production budget in order to “keep it off the books”.

Now, here’s where I get messy: ever since Joss Whedon’s ex-wife, Kai Cole, wrote that op-ed revealing an affair that Joss had on the Buffy set, it’s been rumored that the other party in that was Dushku. This theory has been seemingly bolstered by the fact that Whedon kept insisting on creating opportunities for them to work together (like with Dollhouse, which was picked up by Fox without a fully fleshed out concept, and was merely “a show from Joss Whedon, starring the other Slayer from Buffy“), and the fact that Dushku wasn’t invited to the Buffy 20th anniversary. With this in mind, you could say that Weatherly was just “shooting his shot”. By no means does it make what he did right, but it does shed a bit more light on the context here. Cole specifically painted the other party in the affair as one of the “beautiful, needy, aggressive young women” that Whedon claimed to be surrounded by, which, if it was Dushku, would’ve made her the perfect target for Weatherly.

Now, let’s bring things back to Moonves. He was formally fired this week by CBS, and denied his $120 million severance package. The fact that he was involved in the Dushku payout certainly didn’t help matters for him, but this situation is hardly over. You don’t just roll over and let $120 million slip out of your hands. Plus, to make things even MORE complicated, it was revealed that part of his original separation agreement was that CBS must pay his legal fees. That said, he could, in theory, take CBS to court to fight for his severance package, and the suit would be on CBS’s own dime. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta, I guess. By no means am I Team Moonves; I’m just constantly amazed by how corporations enter into these agreements that will do nothing but fuck them over in the end. This is about to be VERY expensive for CBS, where Moonves will walk away with something, plus he will have gotten away with all the lives and careers he’s ruined.

Stoney Westmoreland – Not a household name, but Westmoreland currently plays the grandfather on Disney Channel’s Andi Mack – or, he did until he was caught trying to solicit sex online from a 13 year old girl. He actually took an Uber to the girl’s house in Utah (where the show films), and was promptly arrested, and subsequently fired from the show. Oh, and did I mention that, in the show, he’s the grandfather to a 13 year old? This could’ve been much, MUCH worse, but here’s hoping he hasn’t been successful in any of these attempts in the past.

Salim Akil – Black folks are familiar with Akil, as he and wife, Mara Brock Akil, were behind shows like Girlfriends, The Game, etc. White folks probably best know him as the reason you feel slightly uncomfortable watching Black Lightning, as he’s the showrunner for that series, and the source of its “unapologetic Blackness”. Well, he and his wife were also the creative forces behind OWN’s Love Is ____, which was based on their relationship. The show had been renewed for a second season, but that decision was reversed this week. You see, Akil is being sued by a woman who alleges he abused her during an extended extramarital affair. While an investigation found no evidence of misconduct on the set of Love Is____, or on Black Lightning, OWN execs felt it was challenging to the narrative of the show to have these abuse claims out there. I mean, how do you keep up the guise of a “love story”, when it’s possible Akil was cheating for years? OWN seems to be taking the stance of “Hey, if this shit happened, it was before you worked for us, but it’s bad for business.” It feels like the kind of thing the Akils could fight if they wanted to, but it remains to be seen if they’ll pursue legal action.

Frankie Shaw – Here’s something we don’t get too often in HarassmentWatch(TM): a woman! The star/creator of Showtime’s SMILF is being  acccused of abusive behavior onset, especially stemming with how she filmed a particular sex scene. She told the actress that it would be a closed set, but then proceeded to turn on the monitors during the scene. That may not sound like much, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. You see, there are also reports that she segregated the writing staff, placing Black and White writers in different rooms. In all, it’s reported that she’s creating a chaotic and abusive work environment, and ABC Studios (which produces the show) is launching an investigation.

Morgan Spurlock Update – So, I’ve already written about how Mr. Super Size Me pretty much outed himself about past #MeToo behavior, which resulted in him losing a TON of work in its wake. Well, this week he was ordered to pay $1.18 million to Turner Entertainment to settle a lawsuit for his Who Runs The World? docuseries that was shelved after his confession. I was reading the comments section on Deadline, and someone pointed out how Spurlock ruined his whole life for nothing. That, despite telling on himself and his past behaviors, nobody ever came for him. No women popped up to corroborate the story. I just found that to be such an interesting perspective. Another commentor said that maybe he did it so “he could sleep at night”. Still, if a #MeToo falls in the woods, and no one’s there to hear it, was a dick pic truly sent?

I don’t mean to be dismissive of the #MeToo movement, but it really did devolve into something of a witch hunt with no real closure. And I deliberately use “witch hunt” because, to my knowledge, I don’t remember Salem immediately issuing an apology to all the “witches” they killed. No, that shit took HUNDREDS OF YEARS for those people to be exonerated. It’s sort of the same here. There are so many accusations, which are enough to ruin a career, but rarely any follow-up. For example, have we forgiven Ryan Seacrest? I don’t remember us deciding, as a culture, that he was off the hook. Shit, I remember how he was shunned on the red carpet for The Golden Globes because of those accusations from his former stylist. Still, that didn’t prevent him from taking Michael Strahan’s job, seated next to Kelly Ripa. So, I guess all is forgiven? Still, did that investigation close? Was the chick proven to be a liar? Did Hollywood’s elite say “Sorry for being an asshole to you while you were trying to do your job, Ryan”? No, I don’t think any of that happened, and that’s dangerous. I say that because for every Ryan Seacrest, who has the clout and money to bounce back, there are about 200 other dudes without those resources. The #MeToo movement shined the light on a lot of things that needed to be dealt with, and we all had fun with our finger pointing, but the 2018 model of the movement appears to finally be out of steam, and I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing.

Trailer Park

Hellboy (2019)

So, the HellHeads (Is that a thing? I’m gonna try to make that a thing) seem to HATE this trailer, but I see nothing wrong with it. I didn’t love those Ron Perlman movies as much as a lot of y’all did. I mean, they were OK, but I have this thing where I almost immediately discount anything with Jeffrey Tambor in it. Yes, I know he did Arrested Development and Larry Sanders, but to me he’ll always be the bumbling buffoon who somehow played, like, 14 different characters in the Three’s Company universe. So, those first 2 movies aren’t sacred (heh) to me. I won’t be seeing this in a theater, but I’ll totally watch it on FX late one night while trying to get my youngest to go to sleep.

Men In Black International

So, I really wish we were getting MIB23 instead of this, but here we are. Expect to hear reports of a ton of reshoots before this thing comes out. Why? Um, probably because everyone and their mom has already figured out that Liam Neeson is the villain. Shit, the voiceover at the beginning of this trailer, about how fate puts you where you’re supposed to be, is more than likely part of his reveal as the villain. No, they did a really shitty job of keeping that a secret, so I totally expect them to rewrite it so that Emma Thompson turns out to be the mole instead. Anyway, I’m getting something of a Spy Kids vibe from this trailer, and that’s not a good thing. I can’t even fully explain what I mean. It’s either that something is off or that it’s cheap, but that’s definitely what I’m getting here. Folks love Tessa Thompson (seriously, I’m almost surprised she didn’t get top billing over Hemsworth), so it’ll do well, but I’m not all that jazzed for it. I also still haven’t seen the 3rd one, so maybe I’m not the target audience.

Die Hard

I will NEVER understand you “Die Hard Isn’t a Christmas Movie!” people. IT TAKES PLACE DURING A GODDAMN OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY! That’s literally ALL you need. I know Hallmark and Lifetime have skewed your idea of what makes a “Christmas movie”, but it doesn’t require a moral or a cameo by Santa Claus. Some might say that it requires the reunion of estranged family members, which, guess what: THIS MOVIE HAS! Get outta my face with that “It’s not a Christmas movie” shit.

Mapplethorpe

I’m uncultured swine, but I’m also under the age of 50, so my only exposure to Robert Mapplethorpe was through a Family Guy cutaway gag about a coked up giraffe. That said, this looks really good. There’s no way I’m seeing it in a theater, ’cause it’s not a comic book movie, but I’ll definitely pick it up at a thrift store when I run across it.

Home Alone via Google Assistant

So, not really a trailer, but I still had to post it. I’m really glad Macaulay’s come around and seems to be embracing this role. I mean, it only took him 28 years! Seriously, though, he’s been shrouded in so much darkness much of that time, so I hope this is a sign that he’s finally emerging from all of that. Sure, he’d pop up every now and then in stuff like Saved! or Party Monster, but I really feel like we’ve been worse off for not experience what he could have been capable of doing. Between his family drama, the Michael Jackson shit, and all the drugs, it just seemed like such wasted talent. It’s nice to see him seemingly having fun. Even if it was just for a paycheck.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Timeless ended last night, despite being cancelled TWICE. I’m sure 2 of you out there were happy about that. I’ve never seen the show, but I’m over here, pissed off that they named the Black guy “Rufus”.
  • Speaking of franchises that just won’t die, there’s yet another Beverly Hills 90210 reboot on the horizon. Unlike the reboot on The CW from a few years back, this one is poised to focus more on the original cast, with Jason Priestley, Jennie Garth, Tori Spelling, Ian Ziering, and Gabrielle Carteris slated to reprise their roles. Gabrielle Carteris?! Ain’t she, like, 80 now?! Anyway, since this revival is actually being developed by the producers of the 90210 CW reboot, there are talks that some of that cast may also return.
  • Ray Donovan has been renewed for season 7, so brace yourself for another batch of episodes filled with Liev Screiber looking constipated. Seriously, what’s the show about? Every still I see looks like Liev just ate some bad cheese.
  • The Voice crowned a winner for season 15, but I’m not even going to look up their name. It’s not like it matters. The Voice has never launched a career that mattered. Nope, let’s just move on to the next thing.
  • Bravo is reportedly developing a reboot of Queer As Folk, which better be called Queer AF.
  • Elementary‘s upcoming season will be its last, which seems like interesting timing since Moonves is now fired, and he seemed to have a thing for Asian chicks. Was HE keeping that show on the air due to a thing for Lucy Liu?!
  • Speaking of CBS renewals, there’s a strong chance that Mom won’t be back next season. Both Allison Janney and Anna Faris are at the end of their 6-season contracts, and they want substantial raises to continue. Considering CBS is about to lose The Big Bang Theory, which is America’s #1 sitcom, you’d think they’d open up their wallets to save America’s #3 sitcom. I guess we’ll have to see.
  • The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina has been renewed for a second season at Netflix. I dunno, I kinda always thought Kiernan Shipka was gonna be THE next big actress, so I almost feel like she’s slumming it, but y’all seem to love the show, so what do I know?
  • Peter Jackson better stick to Hobbits and shit, ’cause he apparently doesn’t know how to get audiences to care about The Mortal Engines, which is slated to lose $150 million.
  • Kaya Scodelario is replacing Emma Roberts in the Netflix ice skating drama, Spinning Out. If I’ve learned anything from Scodelario’s past roles, this show will be filled with young men who will do anything to sleep with her, and possibly end up dead once they do. #EffyStonemsVaginaIsDeadly
  • Somebody is leaking unreleased Beyonce tracks online, under the name Queen Carter. This has Matthew Knowles’s fingerprints all over it!
  • Alfonso Ribeiro is suing the makers of Fortnite for including his Carlton dance in the game. Ya know, the same dance he stole from Courteney Cox in the “Dancing in the Dark” video? Yeah, this should be interesting.
  • Former ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey has just joined Netflix as their Negro Wrangler. No, seriously, her title is Vice President of Original Content, but they’re putting her in charge of the projects from Shonda Rhimes, Kenya Barris and the Obamas, so… When she starts making changes on Stranger Things, then maybe I’ll change my mind.
  • Speaking of Black Excellence, Luke Cage showrunner Cheo Hodari Coker wasn’t unemployed for long, as he just signed a development deal with Amazon. I still say nobody signs up for Prime for the TV shows, but maybe he’ll prove me wrong?
  • We got our first look at Disney’s live action Aladdin, and well…I mean, with all the beautiful Persian girls in the world, and they give us Movie Pink Ranger? Still, I love how Will Smith has entered the “Fuck It” stage of his career. THIS is when he should’ve made Wild Wild West. Seriously, between Aladdin and that stupid animated film where he’s a spy turned into a pigeon, he’s simply saying “Fuck you, pay me” now.

So, in a fitting end to 2018, nothing had the West Week Ever this week. I tried, but nothing really stood out. Sure, everyone loved Into the Spider-Verse, but I wasn’t about to give it the WWE 2 weeks in a row. My birthday’s Sunday, but I can’t give it to myself because that would, technically, be for next week’s post. If there is a post next week.

In all the rigamarole of life, I forgot to celebrate the 6th anniversary of this little column. I started West Week Ever in November of 2012, and for 6 years I’ve tried my best to bring you recaps of the best the week had to offer. Some weeks were harder than others. Hell, some years were harder than others, but I kept chugging along with the whole “The Show Must Go On” mentality. And that worked. To a point.

Now, it feels like blogs are truly dying. I mean, Google basically put the bullet in their head when they retired Google Reader. No, folks now like their entertainment to come via podcasts and YouTube. So, where does that leave blogs? Better yet, where does that leave me? You’d think a world with fewer blogs would mean that there’s a bigger stage on which to shine, but that’s not the case. Instead, it’s like trying to be the next big radio star while everyone else is out buying those newfangled “televisions”.

Anyway, lots to think about. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, a kickin’ Kwanzaa and, if you have a time machine, a Happy Hanukkah! If something big happens over the next few days, we’ll be back here next week. If not, see ya in 2019!

07th Dec2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/7/18

by Will

 

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Neil deGrasse Tyson – It’s the return of everyone’s favorite segment – and just look at that smug son of a bitch! Yeah, I know you all love him, but I never have. Sure, he’s a brilliant guy, but I’ve never liked the condescending manner in which he imparts knowledge. To me, he’s a prime example of why Conservatives abhor the concept of education: they feel the educated talk down to them the same way he talks down to EVERYONE. So, forgive me if I’m a little giddy that even the smartest in science couldn’t avoid the #MeToo movement.

According to reports, three women have come forward with allegations. Musician Tchiya Amet was a former classmate of Tyson’s back in grad school, and she recounted a time when he Bill Cosby’d her, by giving her some water from a coconut shell. She said she passed out, and came to only to find him performing oral sex on her. When he noticed she was awake, he penetrated her, and she passed out again. She actually came forward with this in 2010, but her story is only now getting attention. The experience was so damaging to Amet that it resulted in her dropping out of school.

Meanwhile, Katelyn Allers, a professor of physics and astronomy at Bucknell University, reports that Tyson grabbed her at a social function, insisting she show him the tattoo of the solar system that she had on her arm , to see if she had included Pluto. While Allers didn’t consider it “assault”, she did ask out of a dinner in Tyson’s honor later that weekend, and she also suggested that female students not be allowed near him without a faculty member present.

Next, there’s Ashley Watson, who was Tyson’s production assistant on Cosmos. He invited her over to his place for wine, and she only felt compelled to go because he was her employer. Once there, he began to play slow jams, and started talking about how everyone needs “releases – even physical releases”. As she got up to go, he told her that he wanted to hug her, but that he’d “only end up wanting more”. When she confronted him about his behavior, he told her she would never advance in her career because she was “too distracting”, so she quit, telling her employer not to hire any more female assistants for Tyson. While the supervisor sided with Watson, she was instructed to claim a “family emergency” as the reason for her departure, so as not to cause an uncomfortable situation.

Anyway, Tyson, of course, denies all of this on a Facebook blog post. He claims that he briefly dated Amet in the 80s, but that they were never serious. Amet, however, says they never dated, and were merely friends. As for Allers, he said he doesn’t remember the situation, but that looking for the existence of Pluto in a tattoo sounds like something he would do. For Watson, he says all he did was invite her for a little wine & cheese, and offer her a Native American “special handshake”. OK, Neil.

The #MeToo train seems to be running out of steam, but a lot of folks are wondering if it’ll get a second wind, as you never know who might be outed next. Still, I’m not really surprised that a guy I always perceived as a dick turned out to be a dick.

I had more to say about this earlier, but it’s late in the day and I’m tired. Kevin Hart took a job that reportedly NOBODY wanted by signing on to host the Oscars. I mean, it’s a thankless job, and the ratings decline every year. Folks just don’t care about watching movies they’ve never heard of win awards over the popcorn movies that they have seen. Everything was fine for, like, a day. Then it was reported that Hart was quietly deleting homophobic tweets from his Twitter account. Anyone who’s seen his act knows the kind of stuff to expect. Anyway, last night, he posted on Instagram that the Academy wanted him to apologize for the tweets, or else he couldn’t host. Refusing to apologize, he decided to step down from the hosting job.

Here’s where this gets dicey to me: I just find it interesting that the “Rehire James Gunn!” folks are all over this, when both people apologized for it in the past. It’s just that Hart is polarizing. He’s the Black Will Ferrell – you either LOVE him or HATE him, but hardly anyone merely *tolerates* him. So, because these folks we already saying”Kevin Hart is trash” they feel emboldened right now, even though it makes them hypocrites.

And while people say “He should’ve just apologized”, what would that get him? First off, those same folks would just say the apology was under duress, and not genuine. Plus, in a lot of ways, he was doing the Oscars a favor. After all, it’s a job nobody wanted, so he wielded the most power here. Now whoever gets the job is gonna know they were the second choice and they’re gonna know WHY. At the end of the day, I don’t think Kevin Hart has really lost any fans from this because Kevin Hart fans don’t give a shit about the Oscars anyway. Soul Plane didn’t win an Oscar, and they’re still mad about that!

Apparently an Ohio radio station has removed “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” from its Christmas playlist because of perceived “rapey” lyrics. Now, yes, the song was written during a different time, and is often misinterpreted. I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about outrage to outrage. In these situations, I tend to hear more from the people outraged that people might find something offensive than I do from the people who supposedly find it offensive. There’s a whole bunch of “What happened to this country?!”, which is just another way of screaming, “How dare you make me question something I learned as a child?!” God forbid you actually experience some personal growth! A lot of this stuff is triggering to people, yet the Knights of Nostalgia don’t give a fuck ’cause, well, “Screw ’em!”

And to take it one more step, it’s always some dumpy, middle-aged White guy. The same guy who’ll say “I ain’t experienced White Privilege!” I get it. It SUCKS to be a dumpy, middle-aged White guy today. Everything you knew is changing, and there’s a new -ism every week. I assure you, though, you’ll get through life a lot more smoothly if you go with the flow than if you try to plant your Confederate flag in the dirt and say you won’t be moved. I know change is hard. I HATE change. I also know, however, that we do a lot of shit in this country just “because” or “it’s always been done that way”, without questioning any of it. Personally, I’m more offended by “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, ’cause any kid with half a brain can piece that together to realize there’s no Santa Claus. Or Mommy’s a whore. Either way, that’s some damaging shit.

 

Trailer Park

Captain Marvel

We got a second trailer for this film, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this underwhelmed by a Marvel film. Did Zack Snyder work on this movie? Outside the “Carol Corps”, I don’t know anyone excited for this movie, but I’ve always found Captain Marvel to be an unlikable character. From this trailer, I’m most impressed by how boring they manage to make Nick Fury. I’m not sure I like Everyman Agent Fury. I look forward to him losing his eye, which I assume will usher in the era of him becoming a cool muthafucka.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • I always like when a frontman with a successful solo career throws a bone to their old band. So that’s why I’m happy to announce that Hootie & The Blowfish will be going on a reunion tour next year.
  • Tumblr will be deleting all adult content come December 17th. Don’t worry, though – all the Nazi shit will still be there. It’s just the tits and pussies they’re getting rid of. Don’t wanna be giving kids the wrong idea, right? Anyway, RIP Tumblr.

  • TVLine revealed that Mack will be the new Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. when Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns – which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me other than the fact that they’re determined to have a bald Black guy in a leather coat in the big chair.
  • Speaking of Marvel, there are reports that they are developing a movie for their Asian martial artist character, Shang-Chi, the Master of Kung-Fu. I’m kind of surprised by how many people I saw asking “WHO?” considering whenever someone said that Iron Fist didn’t have to be White, a lot of folks would chime in with “But there’s already Shang-Chi!”
  • The Good Place has been renewed for season 4 by NBC. Now to just find time to watch all these season 3 eps I have on my DVR…
  • According to some youngsters I was eavesdropping on at the mall, apparently something called a “Cardi B” has split up from Offset. Are those companies? Does that mean anything to anyone?

  • There was a pic of a “reunion” of cast members from The Office, and everyone started saying “It’s happening!” They better fucking NOT bring that show back any time soon. It practically JUST ended. And how many more stories are there to be told about the Scranton paper industry? I LIKED the eps with no Michael Scott. I LIKED how it ended. Don’t bring it back.
  • Because everything old is new again, ABC is reportedly developing a reboot of the 90s Fox series New York Undercover. Ya know, the show with Malik Yoba and the Puerto Rican dude from the “Beat It” video? And every episode featured some 90s R&B act that you never hear of anymore? I’d rather they just give us a Fastlane reboot instead.
  • Since I guess there was some kind of Mandatory Asian Clause in someone’s contract, Julie Chen’s seat on The Talk will be filled by Dancing with the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba.
  • This week’s WWE Monday Night Raw was the lowest rated telecast in the show’s history. What a great time for Vince McMahon to be shoveling money into his XFL revival. I mean, the man clearly knows what the people want, amirite?
  • Ice Cube will produce and star in a reboot of MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch. Back when that show was popular, it was funny to think of celebrities fake fighting each other. Now, however, the celebrities will actually fight you! Don’t believe me? Just steal a parking space from Alec Baldwin.
  • The reteaming of Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson will take place in Men In Black International, which sounds like the name of a fancy escort service.
  • This is pretty juicy: former Martin star, Tisha Campbell-Martin, and husband, Duane Martin, are going through a messy divorce. Duane got a loan from Will & Jada Smith, which he used to buy a home. Sounds OK, right? Well, the Martins had declared bankruptcy. So, not only did Duane sell the house for a profit that he pocketed, but Tisha is claiming that Duane has been hiding money throughout their whole marriage. She said that the only reason she came clean was so that she could be around for their two kids. Damn, Gina!

Yeah, so this one’s a no brainer. Folks were clamoring for this trailer this week more than the maggots were waiting for HW. What? Too soon?

Some thoughts, though:

  • According to an interview, the denizens of the MCU refer to Thanos’s snap as “The Decimation”. Mathematics definition aside, I think it makes sense, because unless you personally know an Avenger, you wouldn’t know that *exactly* 50% of living things were gone. I mean, an accounting of that undertaking would require a census. And I doubt enough time has passed for them to conduct an emergency census.
  • I like the way that Tony says a particular line pretty much confirms how his situation is going to be resolved.
  • A friend online said that being upset about the title is “fanboy entitlement”, and I don’t agree. I’m not upset, per se, but I just think it’s odd that they’ve been running this whole “We can’t tell you the name of the movie too soon or it’ll spoil too much!”, only for it to turn out to be “Endgame”, which tells us NOTHING.
  • Maybe I’m dead inside, but folks online were saying it bummed them out – much like the same folks say Toy Story 3 made them cry. Neither had that effect on me. I think it’s because nobody actually died. They were essentially “wiped out”. I guess it’s a great visual way to get a PG-13 rating, but none of the Infinity War “deaths” stuck with me because they weren’t DEATHS. They were dustings. Everything goes back to dust. But life also comes from dust. I just kinda feel like it’s Marvel really trying to make us feel like there are stakes in an environment where they’ve proven that there are pretty much no stakes.

Still, I’m not griping. These are just initial thoughts. This is probably the most anticipated trailer since Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, so there’s no way the Avengers: Endgame trailer didn’t have the West Week Ever.

16th Nov2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/16/18

by Will

So, it’s been THREE WEEKS since I actually covered “pop culture” on here. And ya know? Ain’t a whole lot happened in that amount of time. I mean, I’ve been fighting to get my White House press credentials restored, but other than that things have been pretty lame. Sure, you may think there was news, but there really wasn’t. Let’s see what I can pick out this week, shall we?

So, I did something I haven’t done in a while: I watched a movie. At home! Lindsay went out to the store, and Evie was mesmerized by Ryan’s Toy Reviews on her tablet, but the TV was left on Megamind. From the beginning. Lucky me! Now, I know I’ve seen parts of it before on a plane, but I fell asleep on it, so that doesn’t count. Why did this movie bomb? I seem to remember it bombing. *checks Wikipedia* Yup, one of the lowest-grossing DreamWorks CG movies to date. That’s a shame, ’cause I really enjoyed it.

If you’ve never seen it, it’s Will Ferrell at his “hamiest”, voicing the supervillain Megamind. He and the hero Metro Man both crashed on Earth as babies, but they ended up with very different lives, despite growing up around each other. Jealous of the attention that Metro Man got from peers, Megamind eventually turned to villainy, and this cat and mouse game develops over the years. That is until Megamind goes too far in one of their battles, seemingly killing Metro Man. Now, without a foe, Megamind begins to realize that villainy really isn’t that fun – especially when he falls in love with reporter Roxanne Ritchi. Now he has to lead a double life as both Megamind and “Bernard” (the guy he’s disguised as when he dates Roxanne), while a new villain rises in Metro City. Will the villain become the hero? That’s all I’ll give ya, ’cause I really think you should see it yourself.

It was one of those rare times when I couldn’t identify the voice actors, and I don’t know if they took me out of it, or if it actually helped to pull me in. I mean, I was surprised to discover that Tina Fey was Roxanne, but even more surprised to find that Brad Pitt was Metro Man. Jonah Hill’s character? Totally thought it was Nick Swardson. So, cute movie, great cast. I’d recommend it. I am tired of seeing those Happy Meal toys at thrift stores, though…

Nothing convinced me of the fact that I’m simply not a Star Wars fanatic more than the news than came out over the past week. First up, there’s going to be a Rogue One prequel series on the Disney+ streaming service, starring Diego Luna reprising his role as Cassian Andor. Yeah, that’d be great if I didn’t already know how he dies. I don’t like prequels for characters who we’ve seen die because there are absolutely no stakes. It might as well be Star Wars: Cassian’s Root Canal. That’s how interesting that sounds to me. It’s always odd to me that fans love Rogue One and hate The Last Jedi when I had the opposite feeling on both of those movies. I don’t need gritty suicide missions in my Star Wars. I felt like every character in that movie was a cliche. That’s why nobody knows their names. Sure, there are fans who’ll get butthurt when you say that, and respond “It’s Chirrut Imwe!”, but I’m content just calling him “Blind Guy”, thankyouverymuch. Anyway, they were created simply to die, and die they did.

Plus, what is there to really do with Cassian? They’re gonna make him a lovable rogue who hates authority. Congrats, Disney: you’re effectively giving us Mexican Bootleg Han Solo! Anyway, I’m curious to know if there’s a version of Rogue One out there that I’d actually like. I mean, between reshoots and edits, what we got was an entirely different movie than the one they initially set out to make. Maybe that’ll come through on the series? I’m not sure, but I’m not the target audience.

Next up, they announced some casting for The Mandalorian, and again, I was unable to go from 6 to 12 from that news. Game of Thrones actor Pedro Pascal is reportedly going to be the lead in the series, but I’ve never watched Game of Thrones so that means nothing to me. Meanwhile, someone somewhere is going “Why they fillin’ up mah Star Wars wit’ Mexicans?!” Yeah, he’s from Chile, but the person saying that doesn’t know the difference between the two… Also, they announced that former MMA star Gina Carano had been cast. That’s the moment I lost all interest. Are we still trying to make her a star? Look, I’m sure she’d make a fine stuntwoman, but acting ain’t her strong suit. Has everyone forgotten how all her dialogue from Haywire had to be overdubbed?! Is she going to be a droid? Anyway, y’all have fun with The Force, but none of this is for me.

Trailer Park


Toy Story 4

Yeah, I don’t need this. Look, I know y’all love Toy Story, and I know it put Pixar on the map, but I’ve never really taken to this franchise. Yeah, go ahead and be shocked, but that’s how I feel when one of y’all tries to say that the first 10 minutes of Up do nothing for you. BASIC! Anyway, I know the last movie kinda served as a springboard for new adventures, but it doesn’t mean they have to show them all to us. It was enough to know that the toys got a new home and a new lease on life. I don’t need to watch Bonnie grow up, and then pass them on to some other kid like Andy did. They had a GOOD stopping point. Why ruin that? Oh yeah. Money.

Fighting With My Family

Huh. I never had any interest in this film until watching that. Sure, I love Nick Frost and Vince Vaughn, but I’ve never really cared much about Paige. I mean, when “the leak” happened, I ended up seeing way more of her than I ever imagined, but I’ve never cared about her wrestling. I know WWE is giving the women’s division more of a push these days, but I’m kinda cold on the company right now, plus Paige isn’t really in-ring talent at the moment. So, this won’t bring me back to wrestling, but I’d definitely like to see this movie.


Spies in Disguise

What the fuck is this?! Does Will Smith need money? Do we need to start a GoFundMe, or is he already on Patreon? This movie looks like it was spawned from those “Why can’t James Bond be Black?” thinkpieces, and then Hollywood got involved and was like, “OK, he can, IF he can also be a bird”. There’s this longstanding stigma in Hollywood that every Black comedian has to, at some point, don a chicken suit in some Stepin Fetchit attempt to make them less threatening to some White audiences. This is Will Smith’s chicken suit. Plus, I don’t care if Blue Sky made the Ice Age franchise – I’m commoner trash, so I want my animation from Disney or Dreamworks. Otherwise, GTFO!


Detective Pikachu

So, this is basically family friendly Ted, right? I mean, I can dig it. I’ve got a lot of questions about the world in which it’s set, but there’s already a built-in audience for this, considering Pokemon GO almost settled the Israel land disputes. Seriously, I was amazed when the entire world was playing it, and I’m still amazed that there are millions of folks still playing it undercover. I see you walking in that park! I know you don’t give a shit about fitness!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Apparently the title for the third installment of the Will Smith/Martin Lawrence cop franchise will be Bad Boys for Lif3. Huh. Why not just go the extra mile and replace “for” with “4”? Oh, and the “s” with a “z”? Bad Boyz 4 Lif3. There’s your edgy title!
  • Speaking of Will Smith, son Jaden may have come out as gay this week, as he told a festival crowd that Odd Future’s Tyler the Creator was his boyfriend. I’m not really surprised, as I always considered him gender fluid anyway. Plus, he’s weird Hollywood royalty, so you could tell me he’s in a serious relationship with a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and I’d be like “Huh. Nice choice.”
  • Netflix has cancelled The Good Cop after one season. Let me tell you, I had NO IDEA this thing was a cop drama starring Tony Danza and Josh Groban. I saw an ad for it, and I thought it was about a Black cop who doesn’t give a shit because he’s so close to retirement. Apparently that IS one of the characters, but he’s not the star. I actually wanted to watch that show.
  • Tom Cruise is done with the Jack Reacher franchise, as he is reportedly too short for the role. It’s not like it matters, though, because they’re refocusing it for television instead of movies, and Tom Cruise ain’t doing TV any time soon.
  • Fans won’t be saying “Happy Christmas” to The Doctor this year, as there will be no Doctor Who Christmas special for the first time in 13 years. Instead, however, there will be a New Years special, but fans already seem ready to start a war about this.
  • Since CBS All Access is really just CBS: We Have Star Trek So Please Give Us Money, there are reports that there’s ANOTHER Trek show being developed – this time, focused on Michelle Yeoh’s Star Trek: Discovery character, Philippa Georgiou. I still haven’t watched season 1 of Discovery, but every news story spoiled what happened to her character, so I’ll let you look up the details yourself.
  • 2019 is shaping up to be a banner year for STDs, as MTV’s Spring Break will make its triumphant return, along with a reboot of Temptation Island on USA Network.
  • Tim Tebow will be hosting a new competition show called Are You There, Jesus? Kidding. It’s actually called Million Dollar Mile, where it’s basically American Gladiators against professional athletes. Yeah, I think my show sounds better.
  • Malibu! Malibu! Malibu is on fire! We don’t need no water, let that motherfucker…Oh shit, there goes the Westworld set!
  • Alec Baldwin punched a guy over a parking space, but that’s basically a regular Tuesday for him.
  • Hey, remember how y’all hated Venom? Well, it still debuted at $111 million in China, as Sony’s biggest Chinese launch of all time. Oh, and it’s made $674 million globally. Yeah, we’re getting that sequel, and I ain’t mad.
  • Vanessa Bayer, formerly of Saturday Night Live, is developing Big Deal for Showtime, in which “a woman overcomes childhood leukemia to achieve her lifelong dream of being an on-air host on the Home Shopping Network. Huh. This just sounds like an SNL sketch. And not a good one. Apparently, Bayer did overcome childhood leukemia, and it’s nice to see she’s creating her own roles, as Hollywood is otherwise just gonna pigeonhole her as “perky best friend” in the rom-com genre.

So, I took last week off because it was a holiday weekend, but I gave a rare social media-only West Week Ever to my friend Mary Ann Borer. We “met” through a Facebook group a couple of years ago, and she’s become quite the friend of the site. So, imagine my surprise when she became the reigning Jeopardy! champion. She even went viral for her Sailor Moon salute. The Teen Tournament is currently going on, but I can’t wait for it to end so she can get back to kicking ass. So, for the record, last week, she had the West Week Ever.

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’m not going to eulogize him ’cause enough sites have done that. I don’t even know if I can do a “What Stan Meant To Me” angle. I’ve spent the past few years pretty much waiting for what happened on Monday. I had made my peace with it once the stories of the suspected elder abuse surfaced earlier this year. To me, Stan “The Man” Lee was already gone, and his handlers were pretty much Weekend at Bernie’s-ing him to get at his fortune. When Wizard magazine went under, the first thought I had was how they wouldn’t be around to have a special commemorative edition when he passed. But I still wasn’t ready on Monday. We lost Stan.

As much as I love pop culture, I’ve never been much of a “starfucker”. I’ve come in contact with a handful of celebrities in my life, but there were only 3 that I ever simply HAD to meet: Adam West, Stan Lee, and Jason David Frank, the greatest Power Ranger of all time. For two of those, I knew the clock was ticking as they were getting older, but they were surrounded by vultures, so the cost of that opportunity kept going up. I paid $300 for a VIP package to meet him at Baltimore Comic Con back in 2011. That’s a lot of money, but not once did I ever question it. This was STAN LEE. I don’t think I’ve ever spent that much money with that little thought put into it. To me, it was a given. I was meeting The Man. After all, “He’s not going to be with us long” was always in the back of my head. And now he’s not.

I always hate the whole “He’s in a better place now” phrase, but I honestly feel that way for Stan. His last few years just seemed miserable, and it was sad to watch him go through it all. Ever since he lost his wife, Joanie, he hadn’t been himself. And now he’s with her again. I don’t care what you believe. There could be an afterlife, or maybe they’re just together in the ground, turning into dust. I feel like whatever it is is probably better than drifting in and out of coherence, while my slacker daughter keeps visiting to ask for money.

Stan meant a lot to a lot of people. That goes without saying. Like any man, he had his faults. And as great as his creative highs were, he also had creative lows. He was a man who would put his name on literally anything. He was the epitome of “Fuck you, pay me”, but he always did it with such enthusiasm, and a smile on his face. The cash grabiest cash grab seemed like a decent idea when he went out to cheerlead for it. The Backstreet Project? Even at the height of the Backstreet Boys’ fame, this was a long shot. Chakra: The Invincible? Over 1.2 BILLION people in India, and none of them gave a shit about that thing. But that’s just a testament to the Stan Lee name. His past paid for his future. Co-creating X-Men, Spider-Man, and the rest opened every door for him for the rest of his life. And I don’t think Stan ever came across a door that he didn’t enter.

His huckster enthusiasm is what we know most about him, though, and it was infectious. He really made you feel like he believed in everything he put his name on. Even as you were at home, shaking your head in disbelief, he was telling you, “No, seriously, this cartoon about Pamela Anderson as a stripper/superhero is gonna knock your socks off!” Instead of the guy who had already made his nut, he approached everything like it might finally be his big break. I’m not sure if there was some guilt over who created what back in the day, or if he just needed to keep the creative juices flowing. Either way, you believed HE believed in Stripperella, even if you and everyone you knew had no intention of ever watching it.

It’s amazing to see someone that enthusiastic about anything in this day and age – to believe in the things to which you’ve aligned yourself THAT MUCH. He could say, “Well, donkeys sleep upside down, True Believer!” and you’d be like, “Well, fuck. I never knew that!” HE MADE YOU BELIEVE. That’s why his creations are so effective, and have touched so many people. You KNEW a Peter Parker. You KNEW a Bruce Banner. And even if it was something you’d never encountered, he made you believe and understand it, too. Name someone else who can do that. I’ll wait.

I don’t think it has fully hit me. I had to get offline when the news hit because it’s the Internet, and the pro-Kirby/pro-Ditko, pro-any collaborator crowd was sharpening their pitchforks and practicing their grave dancing moves. I didn’t feel like dealing with any of that. Now the dust has settled, and everyone has posted their own eulogies and retrospectives, so I appreciate you taking the time to read mine. I think it goes without saying that Stan Lee had the rare distinction of having the West Life Ever. Excelsior!

08th Nov2018

Blider-Man: Thoughts On Marvel’s Black Spider-Man

by Will

NOTE: I wrote this post 7 years ago for my friend’s site, TheRobotsPajamas.com. Since that site is currently on hiatus, I decided to post it over here for posterity. Enjoy! 

Hi, my name is Will West and I’d like to be your leader. Don’t worry, though; I just want to be the black one – it’s a separate, but equal thing. I’ve decided I’d like to become America’s Top Black Nerd, or Blerd if you will. As a result, it would make me the spokesperson for all things that pertain to the world of geeky blackness. Black Spider-Man? Check! Luke Cage movie? Check! The racism in Just Imagine Stan Lee’s Batman? Check! Basically, I’d be like the geek Al Sharpton, without the track suits, and the perm, and the crazy. OK, that was a bad example. Anyway, maybe it would net me a position on G4, as the other half of Olivia Munn’s genetic recipe is the closest thing to a minority I’ve seen on that network. Well, that and everyone on Cops and Cheaters, but I digress. Comics tend to be thought of as a white hobby, but there are a lot of us of color who also enjoy the four-colored excitement that comics offer the world. I’ve been reading comics for about 20 years now, and I occasionally rant about them over on my site, williambrucewest.com. Today, it was announced that the next Spider-Man in Marvel’s Ultimate Comics line would be half-Hispanic and half-black. Naturally, this is the kind of thing that America’s Top Blerd would be called upon to discuss. To be honest, I’m feeling a bit lazy today, but the people have spoken, so I must answer the call!

 

For those not in the know, the Ultimate Marvel line was introduced by Marvel in 2000 as a modernization of their flagship franchises. Originally slated to be called “Ground Zero Comics”, the line was meant to reintroduce aged concepts to a new audience. Spider-Man, X-Men, and Fantastic Four were now Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate X-Men, and Ultimate Fantastic Four. The Avengers franchise was reimagined as the grim and gritty The Ultimates. Set in a different universe of the Marvel Universe’s multiverse, the line was meant to recapture the early days of the Marvel Universe when characters weren’t burdened by 40 years of continuity. The chief architects of the line were Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar, who promised that the Ultimate Universe was a place where “anything can happen”. This was true for the first few years, as the creators threw curveballs at concepts that we had known for some time. Spider-Man revealed his identity to Mary Jane in the second year of his series, Cable was a future incarnation of Wolverine, and EVERY event of the Ultimate Universe was the result of someone trying to recreate Captain America’s super soldier serum. In fact, in the Ultimate Universe, the creation of mutants was the result of the same experiments. However, what began as a close-knit, shared universe soon became more of what we had already seen in the “normal” Marvel Universe. Reboots, lackluster crossovers, and late books changed a world where “anything could happen” into a world of “been there, done that”. A couple of years ago, the line was relaunched as Ultimate Comics, but has just coasted along without much direction. It was at that point that Marvel announced “The Death of Spider-Man”.

 

Death is nothing new in comics. Since the death of Superman in 1992, comics have regularly returned to the death well in order to drum up sales or put the right exclamation point on a storyline. It’s a device that’s been used so commonly that no one takes it seriously anymore. Like our parents used to tell us when we were little, Nightcrawler’s just sleeping – just like Grandma. Whenever a publisher needs that 4th quarter sales push, guess who’s found in a subspace pocket/underwater cocoon/secret laboratory? Hint: It ain’t Grandma! So, when Marvel announced the Death of Spider-Man, most of us just groaned and went on with our lives. A few folks desperate for web hits cleverly left out an important detail: it was Ultimate Spider-Man we were talking about here. See, a lot of old school fans never fell in love with the Ultimate line. It was a slap in the face to the stories they’d read growing up. So, you say that Spider-Man’s dead, and alarms go off. You say Ultimate Spider-Man’s dead, and a lot of people respond with “Oh, I thought you mean the REAL Spider-Man.” Yeah, so this announcement had 2 things going against it: comic fans are jaded by death AND it wasn’t the “real” version of the character. All that said, I’ve been a diehard fan of the Ultimate comics since their debut. In fact, they’re the few lines for which I have complete runs. Even variant covers. To me, the Ultimate line was a chance for me to get in on something on the ground floor. I thought maybe I could experience the feelings that old school fanboys had felt when they first experienced the “original” Spider-Man. In reading the books, Ultimate Spider-Man became one of my favorite series EVER. I thought it was refreshing to read about a teenage Spider-Man, who had to juggle school and heroism. I always had a problem with “regular” Spidey, as his life apparently sucks so much, yet he still goes home to bang his supermodel/soap star wife (that is, until the devil took her away). Ultimate Spider-Man, however, was a great character, brought to life by Bendis’ gift with dialogue. Sure, I didn’t believe they’d actually kill this guy, but I think there’s a part of every fanboy that wonders “Is this REALLY gonna happen?” I was going to buy the issues anyway, but as the storyline kicked off, each issue filled me with more trepidation. It should also be stated that most of the people who died in the Ultimate Universe stayed dead. Sure, there are a few exceptions, but this is also the line that killed some of the most popular X-Men, and decimated New York’s population with a biblical flood. Though they’d gotten complacent, you still couldn’t be sure of what you’d get with the Ultimate line. And sure enough, they killed him. Not even in one of those “his body disintegrated so maybe he was transported away” kinds of ways. He died a touching death, but it was the death of a hero gone too soon.

 

Prior to the storyline, Marvel had already teased that a new Spider-Man would star in a brand new Ultimate Spider-Man series. Ugh, here we go again. Then, Bleeding Cool presented an interesting rumor: the new Ultimate Spidey would be black. Now, this is a big deal for several reasons, especially because old school fanboys would HATE it. You know how I know that? Well, when Sony announced they were rebooting the Spider-Man movie franchise, there was an internet campaign to get black comedian Donald Glover a chance to audition. He was a self-proclaimed nerd (yes, he would be a more popular blerd than me, but he doesn’t have time to blog!), and people thought he’d bring a fresh perspective to the role. This sparked a ton of “Spider-Man’s NOT Black!” rhetoric online. As a comic fan, and a black comic fan, I can see where they’re coming from. Since his creation, Spider-Man had been white. However, there was nothing inherently *white* about the character. He’s a kid, with dead parents, whose uncle was shot, and now lives in Queens with his aunt. Sounds black to me. As we already know, Andrew Garfield won the role, but a lot of people online showed their true colors. Despite my intro above, I don’t play the race card unless it’s for humor’s sake. However, I’ve got to say that I was saddened by a lot of stuff that I read online during those debates. Was it really that offensive to you if a popular character looked like me? Huh. So, I kinda hoped Bleeding Cool was on to something, if only to watch the shitstorm that would surely ensue from the announcement. It also worked within the continuity of the book, as black character Ben Reilly actually acquired a sample of Peter Parker’s blood during the first volume of the Ultimate Spider-Man series.

 

Well, today USA Today announced that the new Ultimate Spider-Man would be a new biracial character named Miles Morales. Half-Hispanic, and half-black, the new Spider-Man will be introduced this week in the Ultimate Fallout series, with more background given when the new Ultimate Spider-Man series launches this fall. From a political standpoint, I commend Marvel for this. Comics are often admonished for their lack of diverse characters, and Marvel kinda checked off three boxes here: Hispanic, black, and biracial. Sure, a lot of people are complaining that the change wasn’t “organic”, but most of these are people who weren’t interested in the Ultimate line to begin with. Those are the same people who would say “he’s not the REAL Spider-Man”. That’s fine. Let us have him. He’s real to us. This is comics, Jim Crow style. You still have the “real” Spidey, what with his retconned marriage and his Spider Island and whatnot, and now we have our own. If this helps bring more people to comics, then so be it. There’s room for everyone in this hobby, and it would be nice if everybody was represented. Lately, I’ve been wondering about the kids I hope to have someday. As much as it never really bothered *me* growing up, I’ve wondered what I’d do if they tried to get into comics, yet were bothered that nobody looked like them. Luke Cage was a blaxploitation joke until recently, the Milestone line was never as established as people like to think, and Black Panther is more Coming to America than African Batman. Spider-Man is my favorite Marvel character. Not just Peter Parker, but Spider-Man. There’s something that happens when he puts the suit on. I don’t think Marvel would just put anyone in the suit (I’ll punch you if you mention the Spider-Clone Saga), so I feel like he’ll STILL be Spidey, yet bring something new to the character that we never got in any of the Peter Parker incarnations. Hell, his secret identity even still has alliteration going for it! No, I don’t expect tap-dancing, watermelon eating Spidey. I don’t think he’d do anything to besmirch the Spider-Man legacy. This change returns the Ultimate Universe to a place where anything can happen, and it makes me look forward to the future once again. Though he’ll probably be killed, canceled or retconned before they’re born, I’ve gotta say that I’m looking forward to having a MARQUEE superhero that I can share with my kids. He won’t have “Black” in his name, and he’ll look like them. Hopefully, he won’t be marginalized like black characters in the past. I say “All hail Blidey*!” I hope you’ll give him a chance, too.

 

*Blidey TM williambrucewest.com 2011

26th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/26/18

by Will

Sometimes I need to take a week off just so I can come back fired up – and I am FIRED UP this week!

Whatever happened to the days when we just let people say stupid shit and we just shook our heads and kept it moving? Yes, I’m talking about Megyn Kelly. The NBC talk show host came under fire this week, as she was discussing Halloween costumes with a panel of guests, which included Melissa Rivers and Jenna Bush Hager. Kelly was appalled by the restrictions that some universities were putting on certain Halloween costumes, such as prohibiting people from dressing as things like cowboys.

The conversation soon switched to the topic of blackface, as Kelly mentioned that you get in trouble as a White person for dressing up in blackface, but that it was seen as OK when she was younger, as long as you were dressed as a character. The panel somewhat disagreed, and Rivers pointed out that the concepts of politeness and decency seem to be missing in today’s society, and that if you think you might be offending someone, then you probably are. Kelly seemed to sort of take this in stride, the segment ended, and she moved on to talk about some other morning show fluff, like “How to clean your sock drawer potpourri” or whatever. That’s what you’ll see in this clip:

See? Not really a huge thing. I mean, sure, Kelly was wrong, but this is the same chick who argued that Santa Claus was White (Psst! He’s not real!). But you wouldn’t think the situation played out like that based on every report of it on the internet. It was Racist Megyn Kelly Strikes Again! And Tone-Deaf Kelly Doesn’t Understand Racism of Blackface! Um, did you watch the same clip I did?

Let’s point out a few things. First of all, her audience was ’bout it ’bout it when it came to this topic. And it was a diverse audience. I’m not saying what she said was OK, but I’m saying that she was clearly among “her people”. Next, I think it bears pointing out that the topic didn’t really linger. In what’s an 11 minute clip, the whole blackface part took up about 2.5 minutes. It’s not like she dwelled on it, or even tried to argue her side too much. She evoked the image of Real Housewives of New York cast member LuAnn de Lesseps dressed in blackface as Diana Ross, and said, “I thought ‘Maybe she just wanted to be Diana Ross for a day’.” If you ask me, what Kelly said was ignorant, but not racist.

We live in a society that shuns ignorance. No one wants to be the one to ask the “stupid question”, or admit when they don’t know something. At times this coincides with some dicey topics, like race. You’re not really going to get an understanding, however, unless you confront these things in conversation. We have to talk about things! Yet that’s not how we live. We all pretend to know everything, since all knowledge can be found in the palm of our hand. And when someone deigns to ask a question, the impatient simply retort “Google is your friend.” Great. Good talk.

Sure, racism is a by-product of ignorance, but ignorance can sometimes be innocent. Now, we can paint all sorts of things we want onto Megyn Kelly because, again, she’s the chick who swore up and down that Santa Claus HAD to be White. I get it. But I’m not seeing the Evil White Media Racist here that everyone seems to want me to see. I’ve had a lot of opinions where I was probably on the wrong side of history, and this is just another one of them.

Now Kelly’s future with NBC is in jeopardy. She had to apologize for her statements later that day, and then her words were publicly denounced by NBC News chairman Andrew Lack. Then it was reported that the cast of House of Cards pulled out of a planned appearance on her show, due to her remarks. Later on, however, House of Cards cast member Greg Kinnear (remember him?!) said that the cast was told that Kelly had jury duty, which is why the appearance was cancelled. Whatever happened, reruns have been airing instead of live episodes since the event. There are reports that Kelly had met with NBC brass recently and expressed the desire to get back to “real news” coverage, as she hasn’t taken to the lighter side of morning talk. Now, however, it appears the network wants her out, and she’s reportedly demanding a payout of the rest of her contract.

OK, meanwhile, Fox News just announced that their streaming service, Fox Nation, will launch November 27th. So, you mean to tell me that former Fox News darling Megyn Kelly’s highly publicized NBC deal is falling apart just as Fox announces their entry into the streaming market? A streaming service that’s going to need a big name to help launch it? And I’m supposed to think these are just coincidences? This is all orchestrated. Ya know how I know? Because I look at that clip, and I don’t see any fireable offense taking place there. No, this is a mountain being made out of a molehill, and social media and the court of public opinion are being used to throw fuel on the fire. Someone at NBC clearly wanted her gone (word on the street is that it’s Al Roker), while she needs somewhere to land when they snatch the rug out from under her. Mark my words: she’s going back to Fox, and she’s going to double down on her “conservative Megyn Kelly” persona. After all, the folks who were behind her sexual harassment claims at Fox are either gone and/or dead. The time is ripe for a homecoming, and she’s got a lot of fuel against the Liberal Media for how she was treated during this “ordeal”. Great job, Liberals: you just helped one of your greatest foes level up.

So, you got Megyn Kelly fired. Meanwhile, trans folks are potentially about to be erased, and bombs are being sent to prominent Democrats. But I’m glad to see y’all focused on the real issues…

You thought I was done? Oh, I’m just getting started!

So, during my blogging break, Netflix cancelled Iron Fist, and all the folks who were like “How the fuck they gonna have a White dude as Iron Fist? They better cancel that show before it airs!” suddenly turned into “Oh Noez! How dare Netflix cancel Iron Fist?!” people. It was actually quite the thing to witness. I wish I’d kept the receipts from a year ago. Anyway, Netflix totally doubled down, and cancelled Luke Cage just a few days later. And then the armchair quarterbacks came out: “Oh, they’re totally gonna make Heroes for Hire instead.” Or “Disney’s just gonna put them on their streaming service.” I don’t know about the former, but you’re wrong about the latter, and here’s why:

While we don’t know streamer ratings, we know that pretty much everyone hated the first season of Iron Fist, while they felt Cage seasons were too long. Add in the fact that the Netflix shows are tangential, at best, to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Disney is putting actual MCU actors on the streaming network, so I don’t see them wasting their time and resources on the Great Value properties.

Next, let’s look at the politics at play. The Netflix shows are produced by Marvel Television, while the Marvel Cinematic Universe films are produced by Marvel Studios. Those two divisions HATE each other. Lots of bad blood, which is why Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the only show that takes place “firmly” in the universe of the films, as it was established before all the shit went down. Everything established later has been in this nebulous “Maybe it’s in the MCU/maybe it’s not” gray area. When the streaming service was announced, they specifically pointed out that the Marvel shows on the service would A) be entrenched in the MCU, and B ) produced by Marvel Studios (and not Marvel Television). So, long story short, the Netflix shows didn’t get invited to the party because of their origin with Marvel Television. Also add in the mature nature of the Netflix shows, while it’s been pretty widely reported that Disney Play won’t venture past PG-13 content.

So, Iron Fist and Luke Cage may live to fight another day, but it ain’t gonna be on Disney’s streaming service. One theory I’ve heard is that they might end up on Hulu, should Netflix ever give up the rights, as Disney will be the majority shareholder of Hulu after the Fox deal closes. As with most things, however, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Yesterday it was announced that Rick & Morty head writer Mike McMahan has been hired to develop the animated Star Trek: Lower Decks series for CBS All Access. And I think this is a horrible idea. I know that the Trek TV franchise has been pretty dormant in recent years, but CBS All Access is wasting no time diluting the fuck out of it now. Seriously, there is an announcement of a new Trek series almost weekly, to the point that I’ve lost track. Right now, there’s Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Short Treks, Star Trek: There Are Four Lights (which is my working title for the Picard-centered show), and now there’s Star Trek: Lower Decks – all for CBS All Access. There are about to be a LOT of discussions about what IS and ISN’T “Star Trek“. Animated series from a Rick & Morty writer? Yeah, that ain’t Trek.

I know I’m biased, but as a lifelong Trekker, I’ve always felt there was some pomp and ceremony to the Star Trek franchise. In a lot of ways, you could say that it’s a franchise that tends to take itself too seriously. That’s why I hesitate to embrace something, officially licensed, that pokes fun at that. Sure, over the years there have been fanzines and things like Star Wreck that parodied Trek, but this show, which is supposed to focus on the unnamed crewmen who help run things on an unimpressive Starfleet vessel, sounds like something in the vein of those parodies, and I think it takes away from the franchise rather than adds to it. It feels a lot like Star Trek selling out. Maybe they’re trying to make it accessible to new audiences – ones who may have been put off by the “rigidity” of prior series, but I’d argue that rigidity is part of what makes Star Trek what it is.

My pal Peter pointed out that it’s worth comparing how CBS is treating Trek to how Disney is treating Star Wars. At a glance, Lower Decks feels like something you’d get from the Star Wars franchise. It seems like it’s in the same spirit as the Tag & Bink comic series that Dark Horse put out many moons ago. That was a comedic take on the Star Wars movies, as seen through the eyes of two Jedi in training, who kind of “Forrest Gump” their way through the important events of the original trilogy. A lot of folks liked that series, but keep in mind that it was a comic. It wasn’t seen by the vast majority of Star Wars fans. So, it was treated like the niche thing it was. Lower Decks, however, is being given the same platform as the current, “core” Trek series, Discovery. If they wanted to make some web shorts or something, fine, but a full series (with a 2-season order, at that), just seems to legitimize something that shouldn’t really exist.

Back to the Trek/Wars comparison, I feel like, despite the backlash to The Last Jedi, that Disney is doing it right when it comes to the Star Wars franchise, primarily because they “spread the wealth”. There are the movies, but there’s also the animated series on cable, there’s the upcoming series for Disney Play, and other outlets. Meanwhile, CBS is blowing their entire wad on All Access. They know folks aren’t shelling out a monthly fee for that Tim Meadows cop show, or that spinoff of The Good Wife. No, the ones who are subscribing are doing it, begrudgingly, for Star Trek, BUT there are a LOT of Trek fans (myself included) who can’t even be swayed by that. Instead of being forced to pay for another streaming service, I’m content to just refuse to acknowledge that Discovery even really exists. And even if I acknowledge its existence, I refuse to believe it’s actually contributing anything worthwhile to the mythos. I realize I could be completely wrong about that, but it’s the fault of CBS for hiding it behind a paywall. The insistence on continuing to do this with this ONE particular franchise isn’t going to soften my resolve, but rather just make me resent CBS even more. So, bring on your hateful, sardonic Star Trek cartoon, but I most likely won’t be watching it.

Had I written a post last week, the West Week Ever probably would’ve gone to The Conners, for pulling off an unnecessary, but adequate feat. You see, the show doesn’t really need to exist. Sure, there are the stories of John Goodman saying that they “owed it to the fans”, and sure people were worried about the cast and crew who were out of jobs after the abrupt cancellation of the reboot. To that, I have 2 thoughts: 1) they owe the fans nothing. It could’ve stood as a Done In One “special” season, like the kind of thing you’d get in the UK, and everyone could’ve kept it moving and 2) It’s not like this all happened during season 10 of a long-running series. Yes, it was technically season 11, BUT 20 years had passed in between. The cast already had lives they’d established. Sara Gilbert still has The Talk to go back to, and Michael Fishman could probably get his job back at the Winn Dixie. It’s not like folks had totally uprooted their lives during the ONE season of this reboot, and it’s Hollywood, so the crew would have no trouble getting work on the next project they throw at Joel McHale.

No, The Conners was an experiment that we have to live with even if we weren’t sure we wanted it. I was one of the early champions of the whole “Why not just ‘pull a Hogan Family‘, and keep going with the rest of the cast?” Yeah, I said it, but I didn’t mean it. I really just wanted to see if Hollywood still had the balls to pull off a move like that. That was one of my “Wanting to watch the world burn” moments. Anyway, much to my surprise, they did have the balls to do it. I feel like I’ve also gone on record saying that I didn’t really get why Roseanne was fired. Sure, what she said was fucked up, but it was only the most recent fucked up thing in a string of Roseanne’s fuckedupness. She really hasn’t been stable for the past 15 years or so. Someone had to know she was capable of this, but they still gave her a chance. Back in my day, you’d say something fucked up and racist, you’d do a mea culpa, and then you’d do a photo op with Al Sharpton after donating to the NAACP. So when did the rules change? ABC got her out of there with the quickness, and I’ll bet James Gunn was even somewhere like “Man, I hope they never do that to me!” [Editor’s Note: That is exactly what ABC/Disney would end up doing to him]

The thing that really strikes me about The Conners is the notion of “family”. One of the strengths of the original Roseanne was the family unit, and it’s what a lot of folks were anticipating upon its return. Once the reboot was announced, the cast was making the talk show rounds, about how they were a family and how great it felt to be back together. So, when Roseanne fucked up, where was her family? They turned on her. I know it’s naive (and not always true), but I like to think family sticks together. That’s not what happened here. When the shit hit the fan, they denied her like Peter denied Jesus, and they were all like, “Hey, I’ve got bills”.

I mean, it’s cutthroat Hollywood, but something doesn’t sit right with me. Roseanne tried to make it right, by signing over her rights and financial ties to the show, so that the cast and crew could carry on steering the ship that she built. And yeah, (spoiler alert), they killed off her character with a drug overdose, which is just so…unglamourous. I mean, there was a precedent for it, as it was established last season that she had an opiod addiction, but it was also established that she was worried about dying on the table during her knee surgery. Would it have killed them to go with the latter instead of the former? It reminds me of the overkill the South Park guys did to Chef went Isaac Hayes got all sanctified and quit the show.

Anyway, The Conners picks up a few weeks after Roseanne’s death, and the family is trying to adjust with her not around. They assumed her heart gave out, but midway through the episode, the coroner’s office calls, saying she had actually died of a drub overdose. Well, this is news to Dan, as well as Darlene and Becky. When they find out Roseanne had gotten drugs that had been prescribed to some other woman, Dan goes all “small town vengeance” on her, by putting a sign on his truck naming the woman, and blaming her for killing his wife. Eventually, the woman shows up to the house to apologize for Roseanne’s death, but also to ask Dan to remove the sign as it’s ruining her life. So, I guess the show is going to tackle the opiod crisis that’s plaguing Middle America right now, but it just feels so…unnecessary. If it were a story about recovery and redemption, that’s a story that I’d be interested in seeing how it plays out. But it’s not that story, as Roseanne is already dead, and she ain’t coming back. So what now? I truly don’t know the answer to that. I wonder if anyone associated with the show does, either, or if they’re just cashing their checks and keeping their heads down.

I had the pleasure of joining my buddy, Corey Chapman, on his podcast The Chap Report this week. It was a really fun time, as we discussed Halloween and modern scary movies, as well as the current state of the WWE. Plus a bunch of other stuff. It was fun to record, and just as fun to listen back to, so check it out and put it in your ear holes!

Trailer Park

F is for Family

This show is one of those hidden Netflix gems that nobody talks about, like LoveSick (AKA Scrotal Recall). I really enjoyed season 1, but totally missed season 2. I’ll probably catch up so I can watch this when it debuts on November 30th, ’cause I really liked it.


Broad City

We got this trailer for the 5th, and final, season of Broad City, and I guess it looks OK? As they say in the South, this show “got out from good”. When it debuted, I LOVED it. Crushed hard on both Abbi and Ilana. Then I feel like they jumped the shark somewhere around the Hillary cameo. And I bailed halfway through last season ’cause it just felt like it’d lost its spark. If I could find it somewhere, I’d watch the eps I missed, but I think I’m ready for this show to end.


Nobody’s Fool

I love a good red band trailer. Apparently Tiffany Haddish made the “Kevin Hart” deal with the Devil, in which she is required to appear in one movie a month. Good for her, I guess. I won’t see it in a theater, but I’d watch it if it were convenient to do so.


Bird Box

Folks are saying they’re getting A Quiet Place vibes from this trailer, which is another film I need to watch. I tend not to like stuff like this, but I’m intrigued, and I like Sandra Bullock. Plus, I already have Netflix, so it’s a plus that I won’t have to leave home to see it.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • As anyone with a brain could’ve predicted, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are dunzo!
  • Marvel fired Star Wars comic writer Chuck Wendig after he was told that his social media activity was too political and profanity-laden.
  • There was some casting on that Pennyworth series for Epix (Ya know, Batman’s butler before he was Batman’s butler?). Anyway, you don’t know who any of the folks are, nobody has Epix, and the show’s a terrible idea, so I’m just gonna jump to the next item.

  • Speaking of ill-advised DC TV moves, we got our first look at Shane West as Bane on Gotham. Oh man, did they run out of money? It’s like a poor kid’s homemade Darth Vader costume or something.
  • DC Comics revealed The Other History of the DC Universe, written by John Ridley, which will focus key events in the DC Universe through the eyes of its Black heroes. It’s part of DC’s Black Label imprint, but it’s mostly prose, with a $7.99 per issue price tag. Yeah, PASS!
  • Avengers 4 spoilers are starting to trickle out, including a pic of Ms. Gwenyth Paltrow. I’ll just leave it at that.
  • Disney had met with the writers of the Deadpool films about a potential reboot of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. It’s unclear if Johnny Depp would be involved this time.
  • Alan Tudyk will voice The Joker on the upcoming Harley Quinn animated series on the DC Universe streaming service.
  • Steve Carell has been cast in Apple’s untitled morning show drama, also starring Reese Witherspoon. Do Apple shows ever come out? I always hear about them in development, and then something stupid happens, like “Whoops! We shot all 13 episodes but forgot to put film in the camera!” Seriously, name ONE Apple series that is complete and ready to go.
  • Speaking of Apple, they’re reportedly going to launch their own streaming service ’cause, y’know, everybody’s doing it. I guess it’ll be the home of all these shows that live in Canada that they keep talking about.
  • There are rumblings that Fuller House will end after its 4th season, though Netflix commented that no decision has been made at this time (translation: Time to look for work, Jodie Sweetin!).
  • Netflix has definitely made up its mind about Orange Is the New Black, as this will be its last season.
  • An NYPD Blue reboot is in the works, which would focus on the son of Andy Sipowicz (played by Dennis Franz in the original series). In this series, Sipowicz Jr will be investigating the murder of his father. Naw! They done killed Sipowicz?! They couldn’t let him retire to fish or some shit?
  • It’s the end of an era, as Caroll Spinney, the Sesame Street puppeteer behind Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch for the past 50 years (!), would be stepping away from the roles. My oldest calls it Elmo Street anyway, so I guess he picked the right time to go…
  • Your HBO sex scenes are about to get lame, as the network has hired Intimacy Coordinators to be on set whenever a sex scene is to occur between actors. Due to the #MeToo movement, they want to ensure that consent is there, and that the actors are comfortable. Meanwhile, Shannon Tweed is somewhere, going “What a crock!”
  • So, MTV is reviving The Real World, but on Facebook Watch? What is that? Is that free? Seems odd they’d farm out one of their most iconic franchises. Anyway, I’m closer to 40 than 20, so this ain’t for me. Plus – and I’ve said it before – the show won’t return to its hard-hitting glory until they start casting ugly people again.
  • Speaking of Facebook, they will soon add the ability for you to add songs to your profile. Hey, 2006 MySpace called and boy do they have some shit to say!
  • CMT is reviving the ABC series Wife Swap, which will premiere in February. I will always think of this Chappelle sketch whenever that show, or its clone Trading Spouses, comes up.
  • The Wonder Woman sequel, Wonder Woman 1984, has been moved to June 5th, 2020, so as not to crowd out the Todd Phillips Joker movie coming out next fall. There are also rumors that the film will serve as a Flashpoint-like reboot to the DC movie universe.

  • British police are on the case to catch a David Schwimmer lookalike who stole some beer from a liquor store.

So this is a tough one. I can’t say this person had a “good” week, but he certainly had an important week. I haven’t been the biggest wrestling fan in recent years, but you couldn’t get near the WWE without knowing about Roman Reigns. The biggest reason is that the company seemed to be giving him a push that the fans didn’t really support. Over time, I was pretty much conditioned to dislike him, just like “everyone else” supposedly did. I knew he was part of The Shield, and pseudo-related to The Rock (since all Samoans seem to be born from 3 women), and he wasn’t bald (which meant he wasn’t a heel). Other than that, though, I had never really seen him wrestle, so I was peer-pressured into disliking him. That all changed on Monday night, though.

On Monday Night RAW, Roman broke character and introduced himself as “Joe” (his real name is Joe Anoa’i), and told the world that his Leukemia had returned. He was apparently diagnosed 11 years ago, and had beaten it. Unfortunately, it’s back, leading him to relinquish his WWE Universal Championship title. It was an emotional moment, especially when you watched the reaction of the WWE starts backstage. Even if the fans didn’t love him, it was clear he was loved by his colleagues, and they were genuinely concerned for him.

Since I’m dumb, I immediately texted my friend “Does this mean we’re not allowed to hate him anymore?” The thing is, though, that I never had a real reason to hate him. And instead of merely tolerating him, I now find myself concerned for his well-being. It’s a crazy string of emotions, and it all happened so fast. He made a point to say that this wasn’t a retirement speech, and he has every intention of coming back. I certainly hope that’s true, and I look forward to seeing how the fans will regard him on that day. Is this the thing that he “needed”? Did he have to show he was human to get over with them? Wrestling is such a strange thing sometimes. Anyway, prayers up for Roman Reigns, who had the West Week Ever.

12th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/12/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch (TM)

It’s everyone’s favorite segment, where you find out who couldn’t keep their dick in their pants this week!

James Franco – In her upcoming book, actress Busy Philipps writes that Franco physically assaulted her on the set of their TV series Freaks and Geeks. She later said that he apologized for the incident, but most of the news outlets seem to have missed that tidbit. Anyway, this is familiar territory for Franco, as around 5 women have already accused him of sexual assault. While his encounter with Philipps wasn’t sexual in nature, it still goes to show how Franco views women. On a side note, who out there is gonna read a memoir by Busy Philipps? I mean, I like her and all, but I’ve never once thought “I’d love to know more about her life”. They really will just give anyone a book deal these days…

Harvey Weinstein – A victory for Harvey? One of the six counts of sexual assault has been dropped by a NY judge. Lucia Evans alleged that Weinstein forced her to perform oral sex on him during a meeting in his office, but this accounted was disputed by a friend of Evans. The D.A.’s office says is still plans to proceed with the remaining 5 charges, however, which Weinstein has denied.

So, it was announced this week that James Gunn will possibly write and direct Suicide Squad 2, and there was much rejoicing amongst the geek set. I dunno, y’all. I’m still not on the #RehireJamesGunn train. Yeah, I know it was for stuff he did years ago, and I know he’s apologized for it. Plus, I realize it was part of a biased smear campaign from the Right. Still, I’ve never been onboard with the whole “Well, he worked for Troma and he had to say that stuff to fit in.” Plus, I would’ve felt better about the whole thing had he put all his cards on the table in the beginning. Instead, there were the tweets. And folks rallied and yelled “He apologized!” Then, a few weeks later, there were the pics of him as the pedophile priest at the Troma party. Eventually, I was like, “How much shit are they gonna find on you, dude?” I don’t feel like his life should be ruined, but I understood Disney’s business decision. Still, I don’t know if it’s such a major coup for Warner Bros to be getting him. It’s basically damaged goods giving a 2nd chance to more damaged goods. Had he been fired from Warner Bros and picked up by Disney, THAT would’ve been something to cheer. This is a second chance, but it’s a demotion. Even the best Suicide Squad movie is still, at the end of the day, just a Suicide Squad movie. You wanna impress me? Let him take on Superman.

There’s some shady shit going on, where the world of politics is finding itself intersecting with the world of professional wrestling. You see, Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi is believed to have been murdered in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, due to pieces he had written in opposition to the Saudi royal family. It’s believed that a Saudi death squad arrived, confronted him in the consulate, murdered him, and then dismembered him in order to smuggle out his body.

Meanwhile, WWE has a lucrative, long-term deal with Saudi General Sports Authority (SGSA), and plans to hold the Crown Jewel event in Riyadh on November 2nd. Many fans already hated the Saudi deal because it messes up current storylines for the American programs, plus there are other issues. there was The Greatest Royal Rumble event held in Saudi Arabia in April, and none of the female performers were allowed to wrestle because of the Saudi views on women (though reports indicate the women were paid well to sit out the event). Now, fans believe WWE should pull out of the event since it appears the Saudi government could be behind the murder of a journalist working for an American publication.

Here’s where things get interesting: Donald Trump has vowed to investigate the disappearance of Khashoggi – ya know, the same Donald Trump who calls the press the “enemy of the people”. Meanwhile, he, as well as his son-in-law Jared Kushner, have a close relationship to the Saudi Royal family. You think he’s really gonna lift a finger here? My friend Tarek and I used to have this joke, where if there was something we didn’t want to do, we’d pretend we tried and failed and that was that. We’d just say “I tried my hardest”, as that was code for “I didn’t really give a shit, but isn’t this a cool code we have?” That’s exactly what’s going to happen here. Trump’s gonna “try his hardest”.

Plus, let’s not forget Trump’s Administrator of the Small Business Administration, Linda McMahon – who also happens to be the former WWE President and CEO. Yeah, there’s no way that deal’s going anywhere, and there’s also not going to be a thorough investigation. At least, not by the American government. I guess it’ll be up to Khashoggi’s journalistic colleagues to discover the truth of what happened to him.

Trailer Park

Aladdin Teaser

It’s OK, I guess. Of course Will Smith gets top billing. Well, here it appears he got the ONLY billing. What else were they gonna put there, though? “Also starring the girl from that Power Rangers movie you didn’t see?” I dunno, but I feel like Disney has stalled creatively. Nobody was clamoring for live action versions of their animated hits. This feels like the pre-The Little Mermaid era, when they were just re-releasing all the old shit that made them famous.  I also don’t like the look of Disney’s modern live action films. It’s hard to explain, but they all look like they were directed by Baz Luhrmann. I didn’t even post the Dumbo trailer because it looked like Moulin Rouge with an Elephant. Is Pixar the only Disney division with any creativity anymore?


Glass

Didn’t we just get a new trailer for this? Was that just another teaser? When the Hell did Hollywood move to this three-trailer system? Just give me the damn movie already. Anyway, I liked Unbreakable. I liked Split. I thought I liked the idea of them in a shared universe. This isn’t what I had in mind. I mean, I’ll see it. I’m just not really enthralled by what they’re showing me so far.


Star Trek: Discovery Season 2 (CBS All Acces)

Yeah, looks interesting. Still not subscribing to another service, though. I’ll just buy it when it comes out on physical media. I mean, I own all the other Trek series, so no need of stopping now. And what is it about Anson Mount as Captain Pike that I just can’t accept? Maybe it’s the editing on these trailers, but he doesn’t seem very commanding. Like, he seems like a caring Captain, but he also never seems like he’s taking any of this seriously – almost like he’s trying not to burst out into laughter. Maybe he lost his mind during all that silence on Inhumans. Anyway, the show moves to Thursdays this season, and Rebecca Romijn will star as Number One, Captain Pike’s first officer.


Deadly Class (Syfy)

Based on an Image comic I’ve never read. Is the comic even done? Image shit never finishes these days. Anyway, it pretty much just looks like Battle Royale with White kids. Though, I guess you could say Battle Royale was just Lord of the Flies with Japanese kids. Nothing I see here really interests me, so I’m gonna count one of y’all to watch it and tell me what you thought.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Earlier in the week, we got this pic of Ruby Rose as Batwoman in the upcoming Arrowverse “Elseworlds” crossover. I have no complaints. Except why is there a Batwoman signal? Does her world have NO Batman? Are there multiple signals? Who’s providing all these spotlights? How much is the GCPD’s electric bill? OK, I’ve got lots of questions…
  • While the DC shows on The CW keep reaching for the stars, Gotham, in its final season, is totally in “Fuck It” Mode. They announced that Shane West would, in fact, be playing Bane. Ya know, the guy who breaks Batman’s back? The guy with the mask? PLEASE tell me he’s gonna break little 14 year old Bruce’s back!
  • I already mentioned a few weeks ago that Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn were leaving Project Runway, but now we know their replacements: model Karlie Kloss and season 4 winner Christian Soriano.
  • In an announcement that surprises no one, Ryan Coogler has officially signed on to write and direct Black Panther 2.
  • Selena Gomez has entered a treatment center for anxiety and depression. Must  be nice. The rest of us have to make do with Lexapro and Wellbutrin…
  • After a software bug exposed hundreds of thousands of users’ data, Google announced that the Google+ social network would shut down by August 2019. I hear there are about 20 people upset about this.
  • He may have mastered the concepts of law & order, and the emergency services of Chicago, but Dick Wolf can’t seem to nail down FBI, as the show has just experienced its 3rd showrunner change – the second in 3 months.
  • Because humans spend too much time asking if we could instead of if we should, a hologram of Amy Winehouse is going on a world tour next year. As someone who actually saw Amy in concert, please don’t buy tickets for this.
  • A pilot based on DC’s comic Secret Six has been ordered by CBS, which means it’ll probably just end up dumped on The CW since a DC show wouldn’t fit anywhere on CBS’s schedule. If you didn’t read it, it was basically Suicide Squad when the company wasn’t using that property. So, this will just be Great Value Suicide Squad.
  • A Mr. Mom reboot is being developed for the Vudu service, of all places. It will follow the baby from the Michael Keaton movie, who’s all grown up and is about to return to the workforce as her husband stays home with the baby. Um, why tie it to the movie? Is there some rich mythology with this family? I think folks could pretty easily pick up on the concept without making it a sequel, and there’s no way in Hell they’re gonna land Michael Keaton, so why do this?
  • ScarJo reportedly landed a $15 million payday to sign on for a solo Black Widow film, and a bunch of folks are like “It’s about time!” If you ask me, it was time FIVE YEARS AGO. I don’t even care about her anymore at this point. Plus, Red Sparrow basically beat them to it.
  • Finally bowing to the pressure, Taylor Swift decided to shake off her detractors and get political. Tay Tay upset a portion of her fanbase when she endorsed 2 TN Democratic candidates, resulting in a surge of young folks registering to vote before the deadline.
  • Street artist Banksy punked all the bourgeoisie when a piece of his art, “Girl with Balloon”, sold at auction for $1.4 million, only for it to be fed into a built-in shredder at the time of sale.
  • The cognitive dissonance was wild on the Right, as Fox News couldn’t understand how noted gun reform activist Jamie Lee Curtis could use a gun as her character in the upcoming Halloween. Ya know, they’ve kinda got a point. If she meant business, she’d just bite Michael Myers’s dick off.
  • There was a colorism debate in the Black community when it was announced that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would be developing a film where he would play folk hero John Henry. “He’s not dark enough!” Well, first of all, John Henry isn’t real. Secondly, this is a movie being made for Netflix, where there’s already a decidedly “straight to video” vibe to their “originals”. The Rock will bring an audience that Calvin from House of Payne would not.

Ya know who had the West Week Ever? It wasn’t even a person this week. Nope, it’s a thing. Ya see, nothing had a week quite like Kanye West’s Make America Great Again Hat. It was on a plane! It got to go to the White House! It even got to hug a rich White man! Sure, it probably smells like Cheez Whiz at this point, but there’s no stopping it.

I mean, we even learned that it holds magical powers. According to Kanye, it can make you feel like Superman, and enhance your masculinity. Forget gas station sex pills and prescription antidepressants! This hat does it ALL! So, if I could tip my hat to another hat, I would, but nothing had a whirlwind week like Kanye’s MAGA hat, and that’s why it had the West Week Ever.

05th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/5/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Brad Kern Update – the former NCIS: New Orleans showrunner was fired by CBS Studios after a THIRD misconduct investigation. He had already stepped down after the 2nd, but he remained on the payroll as a consulting producer. He reportedly had a history of belittling women, and making insensitive racial remarks.

Vincent Favale – What the Hell is going on over at CBS?! Man, they are draining the fucking swamp! Favale, the senior vice president of talent at the network has been placed on administrative leave after reports of sexual and homophobic remarks – many of which were reported by staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Favale reportedly once said that he “got four erections” while watching Jennifer Hudson rehearse for a Late Show appearance. Sounds like a real great guy…

*Takes long drag off cigarette* “Geoffrey? Now, that ain’t a name I’ve heard in about a month.” So, this week, Toys “R” Us called off the auction meant to sell off their IP and trademarks, as they reported they felt there was more value in relaunching the brand. Paperwork reveals that they registered the name “Geoffrey’s Toy Box”, but for what nobody is sure yet. Meanwhile, the Dallas Toy Fair is going on, and there have been sightings of Geoffrey walking the aisles, wearing a cape that says “Back from vacation”. All of a sudden, every news outlet lit up with “Toys ‘R’ Us is Coming Back!” Hold on there, cowboy.

Toys “R” Us rushed into bankruptcy, leaving long-time employees without severance, and owing toy manufacturers millions for unpaid product. That giraffe can’t just mosey back in like nothing happened. While the man on the street might be happy about TRU returning, there are a lot of folks who are going to feel some kind of way about that. And if it turned out that they only filed bankruptcy to divest themselves of debt, overhead, and responsibility, that’s going to cause even more problems. Had they been a public company, I’m pretty sure the SEC would be stepping in right about now, but they were private, so I don’t really know what happens next. All I do know is that they need to read the room and understand it’s too soon. The body ain’t even cold yet. I mean, I’m half expecting the next marketing image to be Geoffrey rolling back the stone from his tomb. That’s how this feels right now. They really need to give it a bit more time before rushing into this – if only so I don’t have to hear all the armchair quarterbacks talk about “They better lower their prices! That’s what drove them out of business in the first place!” Not exactly, Poindexter, but you keep on thinking that…


I was hesitant to post this ’cause y’all are never on the same page as me musically, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the stuff I think is good. Now, I know some of you see “country” and just think “NEXT!”, but I will die on the hill that modern country isn’t what you think it is. There are tons of artists who get airplay on country stations, yet if I played the song for you without telling you that, you’d never know it. Today, I can’t really do that ’cause I think everyone knows Tim McGraw is a country artist. Still, yesterday evening, he released his latest song, “Neon Church”, that I’ve been streaming for the past 24 hours.

While I love the wordplay, likening a bar to a church, I’m really here for the melody and what’s going on in the background. The first time I heard it, I was like “That’s ‘Purple Rain’!” In an interview this morning, McGraw said that while recording, he and his band were listening to a lot of Prince and Journey, and it shows here. I played it for Lindsay, and she didn’t like it – I somehow managed to marry the only White woman who hates Journey. Anyway, listen near the bridge and the at the end – that guitarist is doing his best “cruise ship ‘Purple Rain'”. It’s something of a vocal stretch for McGraw, as it’s at the top of his range, but I’m still really digging what’s going on here.

Trailer Park


Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

So, we got a new trailer for this one. Again, I am one of the BIGGEST Miles Morales fans, and this movie does nothing for me. I’m not digging the animation style, which I’m finding to be just as jarring as the MTV Spider-Man animated series based on the Raimi movies. Plus, I’m not sure Jake Johnson is how I imagined Peter Parker would sound. And Miles’ dad isn’t a cop. I get they had to take certain liberties or whatever, but I’m not feeling it. Maybe it’s not meant for me, which is sad, ’cause I pretty much glom onto any and all Miles merchandise and comic appearances.

Plus, I just don’t know if this is a theatrical project. I mean, I look at this, and think it would be a cool animated special that airs on ABC during primetime on a Wednesday in June or something, but to actually go pay to see it in a theater? I don’t think so. It feels like a nice special one-off event, like that Toy Story That Time Forgot special or something. Maybe even a special event on Disney XD. But this ain’t an “I’m headed to Fandango to order tickets” kind of thing.


Daredevil Season 3

So glad they quickly got this out there, ’cause the teaser I showed you last week left me scratching my head. Apparently this is adapting the “Born Again” storyline, but I read that thing over 10 years ago, and don’t remember it, so don’t take my word for it. It looks good – SO good, that I might just skip that other Netflix shows I haven’t seen and skip right to it.


Runaways Season 2

I’ve never watched an episode of this show, and that’s because A) I don’t have Hulu and B) it looks hokey as Hell. From the special effects to the way the kids all look like “teen outcasts” straight from central casting, it just doesn’t look good to me. I was a big fan of the comic series when it launched, but I watch these trailers, and I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you’ve read the comic, you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s like, if you think they’re on the run NOW, you just wait! There’s a twist coming, and I might jump onboard if/when I hear they’ve pulled that trigger. Until then, I’m content being in the dark on this one, Cloak & Dagger, and all the teen-centric Marvel stuff.


Harley Quinn

So, they announced that Kaley Cuoco would be voicing Harley, and I was like, “Huh?” I mean, were Tara Strong or Arleen Sorkin busy? But I guess they wanted a “name” behind this, since it’s one of DC Universe’s more high profile upcoming launches. After seeing this trailer, Cuoco does a decent job. And I really love Poison Ivy doing her best Daria. I like that DC seems able and willing to poke fun at them themselves here. I’m curious to see how this plays out since it’s marketed as an “adult animated series”. Let’s just hope the show is good, and not another Stripperella.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Fox announced the release of Untitled Deadpool Movie slated for December 21st, which will reportedly be a PG-13 cut of Deadpool 2. Keep in mind that this is also the weekend that Aquaman and Bumblebee hit theaters. I was kinda hoping it would be a new movie made up of deleted scenes and cut subplots, kinda like Wake Up, Ron Burgandy. Anyone ever seen that? It’s HORRIBLE but, as an Anchorman completist, I had to see it.
  • Speaking of Fox, they made a lot of schedule moves, as Untitled Deadpool Movie takes the release date of James Cameron’s Alita: Battle Angel, which, itself, is moving to Dark Phoenix‘s previously announced date of February 14th, 2019. Dark Phoenix, meanwhile, is moving to June 7th. Also, Channing Tatum’s X-Men spinoff, Gambit (ya know, that movie that’s never gonna happen?), has been pushed to March 13th, 2020.

  • So, those pitches are teasing a Pitch Perfect 4, and I’ve got to beg them to stop. The only thing they could even possibly do is have it based on NBC bringing back The Sing Off, and having the Bellas compete on it. Anything else would be absurd. No, the 3rd one was just not worth it, so I say we let it die as a trilogy.
  • Before the first episode has even aired, Titans has been renewed for season 2 on the DC Universe streaming service. Ya know, why not? It’s not like they’re sitting on anything else amazing to throw on that thing.

  • Speaking of bad DC live action ideas, Lobo is going to debut on Syfy’s Krypton next season. This looks like a Spirit Halloween ad! Ugh, fucking Lobo. He’s just the absolute WORST. Even though he debuted in the 80s, he’s the 90s at its 90iest, and I hate everything about him. I’ve always said that you can tell a lot about a person if they’re a Lobo fan. They’re usually Special Ed. Probably ate paste in school. They either grow up to own a landscaping business or become a Best Buy stereo installer. Fucking Lobo…
  • Realizing he’s getting too old for this shit, Damon Wayans has announced that he’s leaving Lethal Weapon at the end of season 3’s initial 13-episode commitment. Man, how mad do you think Fox is at the Lethal Weapon office right now? They already had to replace Clayne Crawford with Sean William Scott just to keep the show going, and now THIS?! Somebody’s GOT to be saying “We don’t need this shit! We could’ve renewed Lucifer!” As I said on Twitter, they should replace Wayans with Bill Bellamy, then kill off Scott, and replace him with Peter Facinelli. Then, I’ll get my backdoor Fastlane revival I’ve been wanting since 2003!
  • Kanye did some dumb shit on SNL, and water is wet.
  • Looks like Robert Kirkman is going to have to be content living off his The Walking Dead empire, as Cinemax has cancelled his series Outcast after 2 seasons.
  • Everyone wants in on the fantasy genre, as Netflix is adapting the C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia for series and movies, while Amazon is developing a series based on Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time novels.
  • Remember Mischa Barton? Ya know, the It Girl from The O.C. who went nowhere? Well, she’s going to be joining the cast of The Hills: New Beginnings on MTV.
  • Chelsea Peretti announced that she won’t be returning to Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a series regular when the show debuts on NBC this season.
  • Amy Schumer was detained yesterday in DC during the #KavaNope protests, but she blocked me on Twitter ages ago, so she’s dead to me. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME, AMY!

  • We got this poster for the upcoming Hellboy reboot, starring David “You Wouldn’t Even Know My Name Were It Not For Stranger Things” Harbour.
  • Elon Musk took one step closer to becoming The World’s First Supervillain, as he was forced to resign as Tesla chariman, and was fined $20 million by the SEC, due to a tweet where he implied he had secured funding to take Tesla private.
  • Last night marked the finale episode of the hour-long version of Conan on TBS, as he bid farewell to his house band, Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band (formerly the Max Weinberg 7). The future show will switch to a half hour format, with no musical guests, but with more special events, like shows from foreign countries.
  • Brian Robbins was announced as the new head of Nickelodeon, which is significant since he and his former Head of the Class costar, Dan Schneider, got their behind the scenes careers started by creating All That for the network back in 1994. It’ll be interesting to see if he throws any work to Schneider, whose Schneider’s Bakery production house was sent packing by Nickelodeon earlier this year after allegations surrounding Schneider arose.
  • Talk about an “unfortunate Situation”! Jersey Shore star, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, was sentenced to 8 months in prison for tax evasion.
  • Jon Favreau will write and produce Star Wars series The Mandalorian, which appears to follow another Fett, after the events of Empire, but before the rise of the First Order. The series will stream on Disney Play.

I know you’ve gotten this far, and you’re like “Wait, didn’t he have Venom in the header pic? He hasn’t even mention…wait. He WOULDN’T!”

OK, bear with me here. I know the critics gave this film a shellacking, and I can understand why. In the age of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and, to some extent, the DCEU, Venom isn’t what we’ve come to expect from a comic book movie in 2018. And I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. I swore that I wouldn’t spend money to see Venom, and I kept that promise, as Special Forces wanted to see it, and it was his turn to pay. That said, I didn’t hate it. In fact, I really enjoyed it. Now, I am known for liking shit, so don’t equate “Will liked it” with “It’s a good movie”. I don’t know if I’m “Film Twitter” enough to say it’s good or bad, but I definitely enjoyed it.

OK, so the movie starts out with investigative reporter Eddie Brock on top of the world. He’s got his own cable news show, where he roots out corruption, he’s engaged to corporate attorney Michelle Williams, and he’s about to get a chance to interview Elon Musk analog, Carlton Drake. Actually, that’s not how the movie starts. It actually starts with a space shuttle crashing upon reentry – a shuttle that happens to carry organic samples. All of the astronauts die except one, named “Jameson”, where I guess they’re alluding to J. Jonah Jameson’s astronaut son, John Jameson, who later becomes the Man-Wolf in the comics. Anyway, while transporting Jameson to the nearest hospital, it appears he’s got a symbiote in him that jumps from him to his EMT, wrecking the ambulance. Oh, and that shuttle? It was owned by Carlton Drake.

Brock’s boss wants him to interview Drake, but he doesn’t want to do it because he doesn’t trust Drake. His doubts are reinforced when he hacks into his fiancee’s computer (her firm happens to be representing Drake’s company, The LIFE Foundation), and discovers a wrongful death suit filed against the computer. When he gets his shot at interviewing Drake, instead of sticking to the script, he decides to ask about the wrongful death suit. Well, this doesn’t go well, as Drake kicks Brock out of his building, ends his career, and gets Williams fired from her firm, where she, then, gives Brock his ring back. In one fell swoop, Brock’s life is ruined.

Fast forward six months, and Brock is a drunk, “slumming it” in what has to be a $4500/month apartment (seriously, the thing is huge, and they’re in San Francisco!). He’s got no job prospects and no future, until a horribly miscast Jenny Slate shows up as Dora Skirth, a scientist at the LIFE Foundation who has doubts about the organization’s goals. See, Drake thinks humans have ruined Earth, and the only possible solution is to equip them with the means to survive – whether here or on another planet. He sees the symbiote samples as a means of doing that, and he has ordered trials to begin on humans. LIFE picks up vagrants and has them sign away their rights as they test the symbiotes to see if they’ll bond with humans. Well, this is too much for Dr. Skirth, who seeks out Brock to help her expose the company.

Dr. Skirth sneaks Brock in, who goes exploring while she tries to distract a security guard. While exploring, Brock finds his neighborhood homeless friend in one of the cells. When he breaks her out, she attacks him ’cause she’s got a symbiote in her, which she passes to Brock, unbeknownst to him. As he’s fleeing from security, he notices he can do things he shouldn’t be able to do, like shatter trees and quickly scale great heights. This is when he starts to realize something’s not right, as he starts to hear a voice in his head that wasn’t there before.

So, now he’s riding for two, as Venom’s in his head, but pops out when necessary – like when Drake’s hired security show up to take back the symbiote, and there’s a well-choreographed fight scene in the apartment, leading to a great car chase scene. The action is actually pretty impressive in the film. There’s one scene of Venom versus the SWAT team that plays out like a boss battle in a video game. They’re throwing flash grenades and shooting at shadows, while Venom bounces around the rafters.

I’ll stop spoiling stuff here, as you might actually want to see the movie one day. I’ll say there were a couple of things that bothered me. For one thing, Michelle Williams. I mean, the entire time, I’m watching the film, thinking, “You’re better than this, Michelle! You’ve been nominated for an Oscar FOUR TIMES, yet here you are, doing your worst Great Value Pepper Potts!” Also, there are continuity issues. There’s a scene where Drake is speaking to a field trip at his HQ, and a little girl tries to ask him a question. The rest of the class tries to stop her for interrupting, but Drake says something inspiring like, “No, speak. That’s what people do. They try to dissuade you from asking questions, but that’s how we learn.” He, then, gives her the pin off his lapel, but HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY LET HER ASK A QUESTION! he basically grandstanded, only to shoot her down. I mean, she was happy with the lapel pin, but nobody seems to notice she didn’t ask her question. Lost in editing maybe? Also, I didn’t really like Riz Ahmed as Drake. I thought it was another casting misfire. I would’ve gone for someone with more gravitas, like maybe Dev Patel, if they were going for a “type”. I also didn’t appreciate that it was clearly an R-rated film, edited down to PG-13, and Hardy has said that 40 minutes got cut, including his favorite scene.

Things I did like: Tom Hardy was great as Guy Who Ends Up As Venom’s Host. I can’t honestly say he was a great Eddie Brock, as I don’t have a ton of familiarity with that character. When he was ruling comics in the 90s, I still pretty much a strictly DC guy, so I haven’t read most of those iconic Venom stories. I know Brock was Peter Parker’s rival, so you’re not really supposed to be rooting for him, but you kinda have to here. That’s why I can understand why they wanted Spider-Man as far away from this film as possible. Still, I liked Hardy for what he was, and I loved his interplay with Venom in his head. I also LOVED Venom, as he was funnier than I expected him to be. The CGI wasn’t as troublesome as I was expecting, and I was even fine with no spider symbol on his chest.

As much as I enjoy the MCU movies, I’m getting a little tired of them. As a fanboy, they’re work. It’s not enough to just sit back and enjoy the movie, but Marvel really drives home the interconnectedness of it all. So, the first time you watch, you’re on guard for any Easter egg that might fly by. Like “Hey, he just mentioned Damage Control!”, etc. I get it, Marvel – you’re good at tying your shit together. But I don’t ALWAYS need that. Venom was a nice change of pace. It was still “In Association With Marvel”. I still got my Stan Lee cameo. It did everything it needed to do. And the mid credits scene has me hoping we get a sequel, ’cause there’s a lot of potential with what they teased.

Yes, this was a pretty slow week unless your name was Brett Kavanaugh, so there wasn’t a ton of competition here. So, I’m gonna shock y’all and say that Venom had the West Week Ever.

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