21st Sep2003

Cheesesteak PIZZA? Ugh…

by Will

So, you’ve seen the commercials, but take my advice. That Domino’s Philly Cheesesteak Pizza? Don’t waste your time. Not unless you like shit. Gooey, sauceless shit.

25th Jul2003

Lost In Life & Joey Spin-Off

by Will

I feel like I’m drowning, yet I’m not in any water. I hate this whole system, from work not being able to give me an idea of how long I have a job, to airlines wanting $500+ just so I can go to some event I don’t even want to attend. My days have gone from diligently working on graduation progress sheets to blogging and reading webcomics. I really don’t care anymore. This is a temp position, and they’ve made that pretty clear, but I’ll be biding my time online til they finally get the stones to let me go. I think I’m going to hit bottom soon, both emotionally and psychologically, and I’m kind of scared what that’s going to be like. I just hope I’ll be able to bounce back from it. Anyway, unless I get an e-mail about a job (yeah right), I’ll be wasting the next few hours reading PvP.

BTW, NBC’s giving Matt LeBlanc his own “Joey” spin-off in the Fall of 2004 once “Friends” goes off the air. OK, I love Joey and all, but do they really think this is going to work? Not only does this news ruin the entire Ross-Rachel-Joey triangle that they’ve built up, but I really don’t know if Joey, sans Chandler, can hold my attention. The network claims it will be the same as when “Frasier” spun off of “Cheers” back in ’93. Yes, that did elaborate on Dr. Crane’s life, but I don’t know if lightning’s going to strike twice. I’m going to try something new, though, and not bash it until I see it. So, this rant will be continued in September 2004.

17th Jul2003

Whatever Happened To Kidnapping & Radon?

by Will

What ever happened to kidnapping and Radon? I remember the ’80s, when kidnapping was the worst thing that could happen to your child. In fact, the only way it could have been worse was if the child was being kept in a building contaminated by Radon. Families were advised to test their homes and make sure that it wasn’t harming their kids. Now, here we are in 2003, and not only is Radon the red-headed step-child of common American fears, but it’s never spoken of. Where is it? Did we get rid of the Radon? If so, why was I not told? I would’ve liked to have taken part in the “Farewell Radon” festivities. We could’ve had a parade, with everyone wearing gas masks, you know, for old times sake. We could have a mascot of a Radon detector (were there Radon detectors?) Anyway, I’d like to know where this threat ran off to!

Running….that brings me to my next topic: kidnapping. Is it just not a threat anymore? For kids, that is. You don’t hear anything about that anymore. The closest thing is when someone is carjacked, and they happened to have left their kid inside during the whole thing. I remember that every show in the ’80s was required to have a kidnapping episode. Hell, “Diff’rent Strokes” had two! These shows are probably the most memorable ’cause they were aimed at scaring the living shit out of kids. I still remember Arnold and Kimberly being locked up by the crazed man. I also remember when Sam (WAY after the shark had been jumped) was kidnapped and integrated into another family by his kidnapper. Of course, Mr. Drummond saved the day, which just sent the message that “Money can solve any problem”. Had the same thing happened to Arnold or Willis, without any intervention from their sugary foster-dad, those would’ve been two little boys you wouldn’t have heard from again. Ahh..the joys of ’80s television. From those shows, I learned:

1) Cool cars always seem to get airborne if driven fast enough

2) Kidnappers are just lonely

3) Money solves all ills

4) Orphans have the best lives EVER

5) When white parents adopt black kids, hilarity ensues

6) Never underestimate your housekeeper: he’s/she’s either really cool, the wisest person you’ve ever met, and/or the love of your life

11th Jul2003

All That Schooling Led To THIS?!

by Will

Heh, late to work today. Means no lunch today. Why is it that we go to school for 20 years of our lives, just to work for the next 40? It’s not like I’m applying anything I learned in school to this job. The required skills are more akin to a double agent or a criminal rather than a college grad. I’m constantly scheming and trying not to get caught doing something bad. Sometimes I feel like I should just surrender to the authorities and give up, rather than keep up this charade. This is hard! I really don’t know how some people are looking forward to the “Real World”. Frankly, I’m terrified of it. It, and Road Rules too. OK, that was a poor attempt at humor, but who’s gonna stop me?

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