19th Jun2005

Jump On One Couch, And The Earth Starts Shakin’!

by Will

“At Eastern Motors, where my job is my credit!”

Another CA earthquake? This just proves that God’s finally as sick of Tom Cruise as the rest of us…

26th May2005

What Would Jesus DRIVE?

by Will

So, if you read my Comments section, you’ll see that Shel responded to my last post. Apparently, she feels that Jesus would’ve liked the Mustang they gave Bo and Carrie on Idol. I’ve gotta say that I disagree.

You see, I always felt that Jesus would drive a Jeep. And not a Grand Cherokee or any of that mess. I mean a Jeep, plain and simple. In fact, I kinda thought it might even be an Army surplus Jeep, you know, for the irony of it all…

A Jeep’s kinda unassuming, and JUST crunchy enough to get the job done…

What? You think Big J would be cruisin’ in an Escalade? A Lexus? I think not! He’s Jesus, not Kobe!

A Mustang? Oh, Shel, Shel, Shel…

25th May2005

It’s Funny ‘Cause Bo Bice Looks Like Jesus!

by Will

I think my favorite part of tonight’s American Idol finale was when they gave Jesus the car.

Silly, producers! Don’t they know that he can fly?

Anyways…did y’all see that “Dukes of Hazzard” commercial? Yee-HAH! Oh, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

24th May2005

If Bo Loses Idol, Maybe He Can Be A Jesus Impersonator

by Will

Well, another season of American Idol comes to a close. Tonight sucked. It’s like neither of them knew which song to sing. None of the songs really showcased them vocally, but it’s all in the voters’ hands now.

Anyway, my money’s on Jesus.

Wait…you mean that wasn’t Jesus?

Wow…well, I guess that restores my faith.

OK, my money’s on the dude who looks like Jesus…

20th Apr2005

Republicans & Fundamentalist Christians. Says It All…

by Will

Well, big week, big week…

We’ve got a new pope and Ann Coulter’s on the cover of Time. Isn’t all this in Revelations or something?

Anyway, I’m not too fond of the conservatives or certain religious sects at the moment. I think my feelings on both are best wrapped up in this recent report from Rolling Stone:

“The problem not only with fundamentalist Christians but with Republicans in general is not that they act on blind faith, without thinking. The problem is that they are incorrigible doubters with an insatiable appetite for Evidence. What they get off on is not Believing, but in having their beliefs tested. That’s why their conversations and their media are so completely dominated by implacable bogeymen: marrying gays, liberals, the ACLU, Sean Penn, Europeans and so on. Their faith both in God and in their political convictions is too weak to survive without an unceasing string of real and imaginary confrontations with those people – and for those confrontations, they are constantly assembling evidence and facts to make their case.

But here’s the twist, They are not looking for facts which to defeat opponents. They are looking for facts that ensure them an ever-expanding roster of opponents. They can be correct facts, incorrect facts, irrelevant facts, it doesn’t matter. The point is not to win the argument, the point is to make sure the argument never stops. “

08th Oct2004

Cup O’ Joe

by Will

I swear, Marvel Comics Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada NEVER gives a boring interview! Here’s an excerpt of a recent statement he gave to Newsarama:

NRAMA: Looking at the X-franchise, it seems to have become the home for the superstars – you moved from Grant to Joss to…? Do you feel that you could be moving to a place of one-upping yourself to the nth degree, to a point where if you don’t have a Morrison or a Whdeon type “name” on an X-Men book, sales will suffer?

JQ: Well, we just signed God to write the arc after Joss.

NRAMA: Teasers? Professor X versus the real Lucifer to the death?

JQ: Well, this summer we brought you Jesus vs. Spider-Man, and based on the box office, it looks like Jesus won.

26th Aug2004

Hell Is Nothing But Flavor-Aid & Drake Cakes…

by Will

Conversations At Work

Coworker: “Making fun of deaf people…I’m SO going to Hell.”

Me: “We’re ALL going to Hell. I’ll see ya down there.”

Coworker: “Cool! I’ll meet ya by the vending machine.”

Me: ” You know, I’ll bet Hell has a really shitty vending machine. The kind with no name brand snacks. You know, nothing but Rock Creek Ginger Ale and those Lifesavers that don’t have holes in them…”

Coworker: “That’d be awesome if the worst thing about Hell is that it’s got no brand name snacks!”

05th Jul2004

*Groan*…

by Will

So, I have a new “celebrity” crush, and I’ve actually met her, so she’s “real”. Here’s the catch, though.

I found her blog online, and she mentions that she doesn’t believe in God. Now, I know that’s a weird criterion for me to have at this age, and it’s just a crush, but I couldn’t really see myself with someone who doesn’t believe in God. My reasoning may surprise you.

If I’m with someone who doesn’t believe in God, then who is she going to be calling out to? Who is she gonna be screaming for? And if she’s yelling, “Oh God, Oh God!”, then, well folks, I think we’ve got an actress on our hands!

Sick and twisted, I know….

04th Jun2004

Creed…Breaking Up?

by Will

What a day, what a day…

Yes, Mr. Lohan, your daughter’s hot. But that doesn’t mean you can go around hitting people. It just ain’t right.

And Creed’s breaking up? But who’ll sing for Jesus? Who will trumpet The Almighty’s return across adult contemporary radio? What does this mean for the Rapture? Nickelback and P.O.D. are nowhere near ready to take over the mantle. The mind is puzzled, and the heart is concerned…

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