03rd Jun2004

Free Cartoons and My Tribute To Carmen Sandiego

by Will

My new favorite site is http://tv.yahooligans.com !

It’s a site for FREE CARTOONS!!! It sucks on dial-up, but it’s worth it for the “Super Mario Bros. Super Show” alone! I forgot how great that theme song was.

Another show on the site, with an AMAZING theme song is “Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego”. And I’m not talking about the gameshow. The cartoon, along with “G.I.Joe The Movie”, has the distinction of containing an entire saga in the opening montage alone. The initial 30 seconds tell a story by themselves. But they might need to edit out the WTC in the background. Even Carmen’s not THAT much of a bitch…

Speaking of Carmen, remember the Pre-Doom and Pre-Quake days, when the Carmen franchise was the biggest thing on the PC? I really miss those days. I caught that ho in the world before I caught her in the US. I mean, c’mon, I wouldn’t even know Reykjavik existed if it hadn’t been for that wench. Even so, the US ain’t as easy to navigate as some might think. A two-bit crook could blend in mighty easily out there in Oklahoma or Minnesota, and that’s usually where Justin Case and Carmen liked to hide. You’d get too close, and they’d fire a slingshot at you. A SLINGSHOT!! Can someone remind me why we were so scared of Carmen Sandiego?!!! A chick in a Fedora, and the world is shitting bricks. I guess that’s a testament to the power of a strong, assertive woman.

03rd Jun2004

I’ll Still Probably Prefer Hotmail, Though…

by Will

So, I hear that everyone’s after Google’s gmail addresses. Apparently, they’re the new “dot-com”, but they’re really hard to get, since it’s still in Beta form. It’s like “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” or something, with secret invitations as the only way of getting an account. Well, guess what, bitches? Guess who has a gmail account? It’s good to be king…*sigh*

24th May2004

Real World DC? I’ll Believe It When I See It.

by Will

So, it seems like MTV finally came to their senses and Real World DC is gonna happen after all. I am shocked by the location, though. Apparently, they bought a space in Adams Morgan, above Maggie Moo’s on 18th. If you’ve taken the time to read Washingtonienne’s blog, she broke the news first, but it seems like we’re finally gonna get some RW action in Chocolate City! Which begs another question, how are they gonna hide all the Black people? CGI is only SO effective, and there’s no way they could party at Dream or Platinum. I’ll bet they hide in Georgetown the whole time!

24th May2004


by Will

So, apparently, something newsworthy came out of Central NY that’s NOT about Cornell. For all you politicos out there, I’m sure you’ve heard about the controversy surrounding “Washingtonienne”, AKA Jessica Cutler. Ms. Cutler, a Syracuse grad, was a Capitol Hill staffer who routinely engaged in office sex, while playing a couple of guys on the side. The problem here is that she decided to post about each encounter on her blog…at work….on Capitol Hill. So, of course, she was fired last week for inappropriate use of government computers and equipment. She claims she didn’t really care because she hated the job anyway. Apparently, she’d decided that 25K was just too little to live off of, so most of her living expenses were paid by the men she was sleeping with. In fact, one guy in her posse routinely gave her $400 for anal sex. The beauty of the whole affair is her blase attitude about it all. To read her whole journal for yourself, hop on over to http://washingtoniennearchive.blogspot.com , and there’s a color picture of her at http://www.ilovejennabush.com. She keeps talking about how hot she is, but she’s not really. I guess I’ve got to applaud her moxy and inflated sense of self worth. Anyway, I think Monica taught us all that anyone can get laid on Capitol Hill. God Bless America!

20th May2004

Is Anybody Out There?

by Will

So, I just have to ask: Who in the world is reading this stuff? No, really. I mean, I appreciate you coming to the site and all, and Lord knows I’m only doing this for attention, but I’d really love to know who your are. There’s no feedback and no one’s signing the guest book. I know I get at least 10 hits a day that aren’t me, and while that’s not Microsoft numbers, it’s still 10 people I’m letting into my life. So, sign the guestbook, send me an e-mail. Even if you just want to tell me you hate me, I’d still love to hear from ya!

29th Apr2004

Why Ain’t You Bloggin’, James?

by Will

Anybody wanna know what the most useless webspace on the internet is? www.jameslambjr.com! Yup, I said it. This site started out with so much promise. The man who wouldn’t apologize. “No Pity. No Remorse”. Now, it’s just a graveyard. The thing hasn’t been updated since March. You know what I think? I think Mr. Lamb is a hack, and I’m calling him out for it! In true Hip Hop fashion, I’m starting a rivalry. He ain’t nothing but I punk, but I keeps it real. You want truth, you come to me. You want day old bread, you go to James. Get your act together, Lamb. At least have the decency to post an update. I’m sure you USED to have fans, but they’re getting restless. Stop being a SUCKA!

23rd Apr2004

Why I Hate thefacebook.com

by Will

Let’s talk social-networking websites. Let me say that I really hate thefacebook.com. I’m on it ’cause it’s where most of the Cornell kids are, but I’m not the biggest fan of the interface. Plus, it’s kind of elitest, considering the schools that are connected to it. Let me ask this, though: WTF is UVA doing there?!!! You’ve got all these Ivies, Duke, MIT, and then you’ve got UVA?!!! I’ve never bought into the whole Ivy Elite hype ’cause we were a 2nd tier Ivy. Cornell is not what people immediately think of. It’s always Harvard, Princeton, Brown, and Yale.

Anyway, I’m not a huge fan of thefacebook’s…”clientele”. It seems to be a tool that’s only useful for freshman looking for good party connections and the latest crush party info. It’s like an e-Uris: a digital substitute for face time. It does nothing for alums or anyone who’s no longer in Ithaca. It’s predominantly ’07 kids. Plus, I don’t really like how it integrates to show if you’re online and stuff. I guess some people like it. The gist of it is that I prolly never should’ve joined. It’s all Tristan’s fault! Anyway, I’ve sought out those who I feel I WANT to be connected with, and if I find any others, we’ll link up. Otherwise, you can find me on Friendster.

I prefer Friendster ’cause it’s not so isolationist. I can reconnect with that weird kid who ate glue in 1st grade and find out that he works for NASA now. There are loftier revelations involved with Friendster, while most of the people I’m connected to on facebook have heard from me in the last 6 months. No real suspense there. Plus, Friendster has greatly added to my “special guest star” drama of the previous post.

But here’s my Friendster warning: Ladies, stop messaging me just because of my picture. I know this sounds cocky, and it’s not supposed to, but I put it all out there in the profile: I’m a geek. Plain and simple. Some people might think I’m a cute geek, but I’m a geek, nonetheless. If you get a reply from me that you don’t necessarily like, or it’s not “cool” enough for you, remember: the writing was on the wall from the get-go. Now, if you happen to LIKE geeks…

29th Mar2004

No More Blogger Site: Announcing The Coming of Williambrucewest.com

by Will

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. This site’s starting to get that “Old Man” smell. A LOT has happened since our last rendez-vous, but we’ll get to all of that in due time. I took my own advice and read through my archives. All I can say is “What was I thinking?!” Some of those references are SO 2003, while most of them just come off dated. So, as comics have taught me, when things get contrived, you must relaunch the brand. I hereby announce the debut of http://williambrucewest.com, which should go live the 1st full week of April. Expect the same witty banter you’ve enjoyed here, but there will be a few differences. I’m naming names, I’m going to be a bitch, and I’m leaving bodies in my wake. Very few people are safe now, and if you have to wonder if you’re one of them, then you’re not reading between the lines. This site will still be available, for anyone who wants to read the archives, or simply take a trip down memory lane. From here on out, W.A.R.E.S. will be the sister site to williambrucewest.com. I might even use it to post stuff I’m afraid to have attached to my name (ooh..the scandal!). So, April 2004 – williambrucewest.com

20th Jan2004

Blog Hiatus – Please See Archives For Reruns

by Will

Since it’s midseason, I’m going to be changing the format around here. Look for these changes in the next few weeks. For now, enjoy what I like to call “W.A.R.E.S. Classics” by reading my archives.

30th Dec2003

Googling Myself

by Will

You ever think you’re more important than you really are? I felt that way until recently. At Cornell, I was “Will West: A Cappella Star”. In college, that’s a big deal. At least, to the percentage of people who don’t think a cappella’s “gay”. Anyway, I thought I was big shit and that was enough to keep depression @ bay. Now, I’m not in those circles anymore, so I’m scraping the barrels for recognition and attention. Well, I googled myself yesterday, and boy were the results disappointing.

First of all, out of 719 results, I only found about 5 references to “Will West” that pertained to me. The others were about World-renowned Gay Porn Star Cowboy Will West. He now occupies willwest.com and willwest.net. His motto is “How the West Was Hung”.

Of the 5 mentioning me, they were either Cornell Daily Sun articles where I sound like a complete tool, or they’re….nah, they’re all pretty much Cornell Daily Sun articles.

“William West” simply turns up a bunch of info on some murderer from the turn of the century. Apparently he was somewhat of a Jack the Ripper character. Anyway, he occupies a lot of space on the WWW.

“William Bruce West” yields 5 results but, luckily, they’re all about me. Regardless, they, too, are CDS articles and an entry from my study abroad program which incorrectly lists my e-mail address. I’ve wondered why I never heard from any of those kids, and it’s because they’re e-mailing “lbwg@cornell.edu”. I’m no CS major, but with my knowledge of Cornell’s e-mail network, I know that address doesn’t even exist. Now they’re all these nice people in middle America who prolly think I put the wrong address just to blow them off. Or not. Why am I so paranoid?!!!

So, if I were to die tomorrow, that’s the legacy I leave behind. People will either believe me to have been a notorious turn of the century murderer or a gay, leather-lovin’ cowboy who, apparently, is QUITE popular on the gay porn circuit. Sure there are the news articles, but people’ll just think that the murderer/porn star did those interviews while he was in college.