20th Jan2004

Blog Hiatus – Please See Archives For Reruns

by Will

Since it’s midseason, I’m going to be changing the format around here. Look for these changes in the next few weeks. For now, enjoy what I like to call “W.A.R.E.S. Classics” by reading my archives.

30th Dec2003

Googling Myself

by Will

You ever think you’re more important than you really are? I felt that way until recently. At Cornell, I was “Will West: A Cappella Star”. In college, that’s a big deal. At least, to the percentage of people who don’t think a cappella’s “gay”. Anyway, I thought I was big shit and that was enough to keep depression @ bay. Now, I’m not in those circles anymore, so I’m scraping the barrels for recognition and attention. Well, I googled myself yesterday, and boy were the results disappointing.

First of all, out of 719 results, I only found about 5 references to “Will West” that pertained to me. The others were about World-renowned Gay Porn Star Cowboy Will West. He now occupies willwest.com and willwest.net. His motto is “How the West Was Hung”.

Of the 5 mentioning me, they were either Cornell Daily Sun articles where I sound like a complete tool, or they’re….nah, they’re all pretty much Cornell Daily Sun articles.

“William West” simply turns up a bunch of info on some murderer from the turn of the century. Apparently he was somewhat of a Jack the Ripper character. Anyway, he occupies a lot of space on the WWW.

“William Bruce West” yields 5 results but, luckily, they’re all about me. Regardless, they, too, are CDS articles and an entry from my study abroad program which incorrectly lists my e-mail address. I’ve wondered why I never heard from any of those kids, and it’s because they’re e-mailing “lbwg@cornell.edu”. I’m no CS major, but with my knowledge of Cornell’s e-mail network, I know that address doesn’t even exist. Now they’re all these nice people in middle America who prolly think I put the wrong address just to blow them off. Or not. Why am I so paranoid?!!!

So, if I were to die tomorrow, that’s the legacy I leave behind. People will either believe me to have been a notorious turn of the century murderer or a gay, leather-lovin’ cowboy who, apparently, is QUITE popular on the gay porn circuit. Sure there are the news articles, but people’ll just think that the murderer/porn star did those interviews while he was in college.

30th Dec2003

Miserable Failure

by Will

Hehe. Bored? You must be if you’re reading this. Anyway, looking for something funny? Go to Google. Type “miserable failure”, and click “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

26th Dec2003

A Good Domain Is Hard To Find

by Will

I swear that the internet is out to screw me. Why is everyone taking my domain names?!!! First, there was the willwest.com fiasco. That fuckin’ porn star even registered willwest.net!!! Now, someone’s taken willwestmusic.com. I really need to register something soon! Why is my good name being dragged through the mud?!!!

22nd Nov2003

I Tend To Rant

by Will

Now, for personal inspiration. One thing I’ve always admired about myself is that I’m tenacious. I’m not a quitter and I don’t give up on things even when I think they’re the hardest experiences I’ve ever had. Yeah, I bitch to high heaven. I mean, just by reading these entries, you realize that I’m well-known for my ability to rant. While this annoys many, this is what i have to do to get through the tough times. I may not shut up about how much I hate an experience, but i always see it through to its natural end, and i leave heaving learned more about myself and the world around me. Wow, a whole paragraph and nothing celebrity-related or negative. The tide is a-changing.

17th Sep2003

NASCARspicary

by Will

X-Entertainment just keeps ’em coming. An exerpt from their blog:

“‘It is evident that the death of Dale Earnhardt Sr. was no accident. I suspect foul play. When his “car” crashed into the “wall”, I almost laughed aloud at the childish coverup presented by NASCAR officials. The man was murdered. He was straight up gangster rap assasinated. Not by gangster rappers though, but by the very inbred hillbillies who enjoy the sight of cars going in circles.’

Posted by Tanuki @ 12/02/2002 04:52 PM EST”

17th Sep2003

Wonder What The Goldfish Would Say

by Will

Another gem from X-Entertainment.com. This one’s for you, Catherine.

“‘I think there should be a national cat killin’ holiday. And it should be done soon, before they take over the government.’

Posted by the dog @ 11/26/2002 01:23 PM EST”

11th Sep2003

RIAA Crackdown Trackdown

by Will

According to msn.com, the following songs are among those the RIAA is using to track down file-sharers.

• Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

• Thompson Twins, “Hold Me Now”

• Eagles, “Hotel California”

• George Michael, “Kissing A Fool”

• Paula Abdul, “Knocked Out”

• Green Day, “Minority”

• UB40, “Red Red Wine”

• Ludacris “Area Codes”

• Marvin Gaye, “Sexual Healing”

• Avril Lavigne, “Complicated”

If you’ve recently downloaded any of these songs, your ass is grass. Looking at the list, though (with the exception of the great Marvin Gaye), I feel that you deserve everything that’s coming to you.

10th Sep2003

Crazy Shapes and Colors! Aggghhhh!

by Will

Watch this for more than a minute, and I SWEAR you’ll lose your mind!

http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/saishin-e.html

13th Aug2003

Letter To Ann Coulter

by Will

Man, do I hate Ann Coulter, but this guy obviously hates her more, and his hatred is funnier:

http://www.henrypanky.com/coulter.htm

My favorite line is: “Oh, my jackbooted and jackal-headed succubus, your unqualified prostitution and unspeakable debasement of the soul have set the bar so high. How do you do it, girl?”

He really drives it home with: “pps: now that Uday Hussein is out of the picture, are you dating anyone new?”

Wow.