24th Apr2020

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 4/24/20

by Will

Not a whole lot to talk about in the world of pop culture these days, is there? I mean, besides moved movie premiere dates, and truncated TV seasons, the uncertainty around everything makes it hard to really plan for the future. Sadly, it feels like we’re in an era of endings more than beginnings right now. For a lot of the things that bring us enjoyment, we’ve either found ourselves saying “See you later, some day” or even “Goodbye forever”. Some of it is related to everything going on, while some of it was just coincidentally timed. Regardless of the reason, though, it’s a difficult time to lose something that brought you enjoyment. No, I’m not talking about the Will & Grace 2.0 finale (You only get ONE series finale, guys!). I’m here to talk about the finale of the Nerd Lunch podcast.

If you’ve been coming to the site for a while, you’re already quite familiar with the show. Hosted by Carlin Trammel, Paxton Holley, and “Jeeg”, Nerd Lunch was a weekly exploration of the world of geek pop culture. Whether it was an episode where the gang came up with restaurant menu items based on popular films, or a thorough analysis of the most recent Star Wars offering, you always knew they’d cover it with enthusiasm and respect. When recommending it to friends, I often referred to it as “kind of like a geeky NPR”, as it was always so engaging and informative. I know some folks have an aversion to things like NPR,  but I like how civil it is, with folks being given an equal chance to speak, without being talked over. That’s just the kind of experience you got when listening to, and guesting on, Nerd Lunch.

Speaking of guesting, Nerd Lunch is the show that’s had me on the most times as a guest. As you can see, I love rambling about pop culture, so it was nice to have the chance to have real discussions, instead of just the one-sided thing that I do here. Starting all the way back in 2012 on episode #52, where we discussed DC Comics’ strategic plan for their films, I was a guest on Nerd Lunch proper, or one of it’s various spinoffs, over 10 times. As podcasts came and went, they persevered for NINE years, and eventually became my go-to spot for guesting. We discussed TV series finales, created a Nerd Lunch University, and created toy lines. On their spinoff shows, I taught them about the myriad world of Power Rangers in their Down The Rabbit Hole show, and I was introduced to the world of the Rambo films in their 4th Chair Army Invasion show.

My favorite memory of guesting was probably that Power Rangers episode Rabbit Hole, as I was both impressed and ashamed of all of the knowledge that I imparted to a panel that probably didn’t care, yet was still respectful LOL. If you never listened to a Rabbit Hole episode, it went like this: you’d fire up Wikipedia (or a specialized genre wiki), and you’d link hop after a short amount of time, with the goal of trying to get from one point to a specific final point. It was almost like a timed Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, where it’s more about the journey than the destination. I knew I had a group with me that knew almost nothing about the franchise, and they probably couldn’t have cared less prior to recording, but I dangled just enough items to elicit a few “WTF?” moments, that I think they actually kinda got into it. I was spreading the Gospel of Zordon!

In any case, I know that my Tuesdays won’t be the same after this week, when they dropped their final episode. As with all good things, Nerd Lunch came to an end, which is such a weird feeling for me, as they’ve been a regular part of my life since 2011 – longer than my marriage, older than my kids, and a couple of jobs ago. Through all of that, I knew it was Tuesday because it was Nerd Lunch Day. I’m going to miss them, but probably nowhere near as much as they’re going to miss the show. They put their blood, sweat, tears, and dilithium into that show, week in and week out.  There was a clique of us that were sort of brought together, either through the League of Extraordinary Bloggers, or as members of the 4th Chair Army (what they call the guests of the show), and it sort of feels like that era is coming to an end. Sure, we’ll all stay in contact, but it just won’t be the same. In any case, I’d just like to thank CT, Pax, and Jeeg for having me on so much over the years, as well as for the conversation and the friendship. By extension, I also want to thank Michael May for wrangling the 4th Chair Army into its own show, and thank Corey Chapman for having me on his The Chap Report podcast, which also aired on the Nerd Lunch feed.

I always knew this day had to come, but I had hoped it would be much further down the road than it is. In any case, the Nerd Lunch Podcast has been one of the most enjoyable aspects of my time on social media, and a part of me goes with it (I guess I’m a semi-retired podcast cast now!). Anyway, they did well, and they deserve a break. If you’ve never given them a chance, there are nearly 600 hours of programming just waiting for you! With this week’s final episode, they went out on top with a great series finale (a hard thing to achieve), and that’s why the Nerd Lunch podcast had the West Week Ever.

06th Mar2020

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 3/6/20

by Will

Welcome to the first West Week Ever of 2020! Yeah, you read that correctly. I’m gonna level with ya: I had one foot out the door. I was pretty much done, even though I didn’t necessarily want to be. It’s just that the world is a dumpster fire, and there wasn’t much happening in pop culture other than folks arguing about Star Wars headcanon or fighting over which old man director was gonna trash talk the MCU next. I didn’t feel like writing about any of that, and the whole enterprise was starting to feel like a chore.

Plus, I kinda fell off the pop culture wagon for a bit, and I’m not caught up on all the Mandalorians and Picards you kids are raving about. So, I sat on the bench. You still got West Year Ever, and I’ve cranked out a post here or there, but for all intents and purposes, West Week Ever was done. The problem with that, however, is that I don’t know how to quit anything. So, here I am. I’m not gonna make any promises. I could disappear quicker than your dad did that time when he went to get cigarettes (too soon?). I’m gonna try to give you something weekly, but only if I feel like it. Only if it’s fun. So, let’s try to capture some fun again.

The Dixie Chicks are back, with “Gaslighter” – their first new song in over a decade. I like seeing that they’ve still got that “Not Ready To Make Nice” fire in them. I’d call this a strong Feminist anthem, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to do that as a man. That said, the visuals of this video are really strong, driving home the message they’re trying to convey. I love this song, and I love them. I just hope they get some kind of airplay because I don’t think country radio is quite ready to make nice with them yet, even though it’s been almost 20 years.

Trailer Park

SCOOB!

This looks cute, even though I’ve never really been a Scooby fan. I won’t see it in the theater, but it’ll totally end up on Cartoon Network within 16 months of its release and I’ll just watch it then.

Connected

OK, I was already on board when it was just the story of a dad trying to reconnect with his daughter. Then there’s the twist around 1:45 where I was SO in. This looks great, and I plan to actually go see this in the theater. I didn’t know this was in development or anything until the trailer dropped this week, and it just seems so refreshing to have an original idea that looks great. This is when someone tells me it’s based on some YA novel or something :-p
Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • We got our first look at the Batmobile from the upcoming Matt Reeves film. It’s different. I like it. I know folks get all passionate about these things, but if it’s a Batman movie, I’m gonna see it, so just bring it on already.
  • The first Hollywood casualty of the Coronavirus that’s sweeping the world is the upcoming James Bond film, No Time to Die. Due to concerns about the virus (and the desire for that Chinese box office), the film’s release has been moved to November.
  • Speaking of Coronavirus, a lot of musical acts have postponed the Asian leg of their tours. One of these artists is Avril Lavigne. There are reports that Asian children are writing letters to the virus, thanking it for sparing them from Lavigne’s music.
  • She may have kissed a girl, but she clearly banged a man, as Katy Perry announced that she’s pregnant with her first child.
  • America Ferrera is leaving Superstore, which doesn’t come as a surprise if you watched their SDCC panel last year. Felt like there was some tension there.
  • I know some of y’all enjoy my Thrift Justice feature, which made its return this week, with me showcasing some board games I’ve picked up.

I don’t know if y’all realize this, but FX is cranking out some pretty good stuff over on basic cable. I mean, I’ve been a fan of their original programming since Nip/Tuck, but it was You’re The Worst that really showed me what you could get away with over there. And, of course, there’s It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The same way film snobs love anything by A24, I’ve pretty much decided to give most FX shows a shot when they debut. I was scared that the quality might change after the Fox studios were sold to Disney, but boy was I wrong! This week saw the debut of 2 great, new shows on sister network FXX.

First up there’s Martin Freeman’s Breeders, which spoke to me in a way I didn’t really expect. It’s about an early 40s couple, struggling with the challenges of raising their two young kids, as well as being in a position where they now have to care for their elderly parents. Freeman’s character is 45, but I could relate to all of that at 38. The whole notion of “Remember when we had lives and dreams?” Yeah, I felt that. But this isn’t supposed to be a downer, and I’m supposed to be selling this to you! Since it’s a joint UK production, Freeman is the only actor I recognize, but it’s got a strong cast, and there’s great chemistry between him and Daisy Haggard, who plays his wife.

The show debuted Monday night with two episodes. If you’re going to give it a shot, I’ll say that the second episode is stronger than the pilot. It’s got an excellent cringe moment, where you think “These might not be great people”, conveyed in a way that only an FX show could do. I don’t follow many shows these days, as my TV is pretty much always on Cartoon Network/Adult Swim, but Breeders is now destination television for me.

Next up, there’s Dave, starring rapper Lil Dicky. I’ve got to admit that I’d never heard of Dave Burd/Lil Dicky prior to the show, but I guess he’s an internet rapper? Anyway, this show feels like FX stumbled upon a particular formula and tried to replicate it here. It’s a show about an awkwardly named rapper trying to make it big. They should’ve just called it Whitelanta and called it a day. Burd is an interesting character, as he’s basically a neurotic Jewish guy who just happens to have an amazing freestyle. For a show about a rapper, though, there’s not a lot of rap. It definitely follows the “Less is more” philosophy, so that when he finally does rap, it really hits you hard. You’re like, “Shit! This dude is talented!” Imagine a young Jewish rapper who finds himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm style situations, and you’ve got Dave.

In the pilot, Dave wires $10,000 to a stranger because a random guy he met at a recording studio put a random number in his phone for a producer who’ll get rapper YG to guest on his track, “Girth” (there’s a LOT of penile stuff in the show). Anyone with street smarts would question this, but nebbish Dave goes right along with it, and withdraws his Bar Mitzvah money to do it. In the second episode, Dave’s first public performance is slated for the memorial service of a kid who loved both him and Macklemore. Yup, Macklemore, which will come into play in a big way.

It’s an usual show, and it has its cringe moments. Still, those are what FX shows do so well, and Dave is actually an endearing character. You wonder if he might even be on the spectrum, but you get where he’s coming from, and you feel sorry for his naivete. The rap game is gonna eat him alive, but it’s gonna be a riot watching it all go down.

So, between Breeders and Dave, FXX is my new favorite channel. That’s why FX Networks had the West Week Ever.

03rd Mar2020

Thrift Justice – I’m SO Board!

by Will

I’m not a board game guy. I didn’t grow up playing them, and the idea of a “game night” makes me want to tear my eyes out. That said, I know that there are plenty of folks out there who do love board games, and the right games can net you a pretty penny on the resale market. Why do I dislike games? Well, I’m an only child, and there weren’t a ton of kids in the neighborhood when I was growing up. I used to play The Game of the States with my grandmother, but I never played any of the “staples”, like Monopoly, Candy Land, or The Game of Life. In fact, I’ve still never played a game of Monopoly outside of the annual McDonald’s sweepstakes. I didn’t learn Candy Land until about a year ago, because my daughter was playing it.

Board games are a blessing and a curse when it comes to thrifting. If you find the right game, and it’s still sealed (score!), you could make a good deal of money. For example, I made about $100 a few years ago when I sold a vintage copy of Ghettopoly. It’s hard to find because it’s offensive as Hell, so it wasn’t on the market long. Meanwhile, some opened games can also net you some good money, but you’ve got to count the pieces to make sure they’re all present. That step right there is why I hate board games. You’d be surprised how many board game instructions don’t expressly list the count of all the pieces. Do you know how much time I’ve spent online trying to find the total of each denomination of Monopoly money that should be in every game?!

Check these groovy contents!

Anyway, despite my disdain for board games, every now and then one will catch my eye, and I just have to take it home. Today we’ll look at a few games that fell into that category.

I don’t know anything about The Magnificent Race, but the box art had a weird, Beatles cartoon-esque vibe to it. Supposedly, the players are chasing someone named “Dastardly Dan”, who seems like he’s a Great Value Dick Dastardly. Apparently it sells pretty well, too, but board games are such a chore to ship, as the shipping alone on a “standard” board game box is about $20. USPS even has a board game shipping box for these things, but I don’t know if there’s enough “meat on the bone” here to make it worth even trying to sell.

A lot of the games I pick up have a nostalgia bent, where they’re based on something I used to love, but I still don’t feel like seeking out 1-3 more people to play. So, they end up being collectibles more than things to actually play. Growing up, I LOVED The Beverly Hillbillies, so I jumped at this one when I found it at the thrift store. I still don’t know how to play it. A quick glance at the rules says that players are trying to fit the Clampetts’ old belongings into their new mansion, but is that it? Am I looking for “black gold” or “Texas tea”? Am I trying to keep Mr. Drysdale from stealing my money? No clue, but I also don’t see myself getting rid of this any time soon.

Children of the ‘80s will remember M.A.S.K., aka Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, as the line of quick change vehicles that came with 2-inch, helmeted figures. Where else could you find a Camaro with gull wing doors that allowed it to fly?! So, of course all of this fun would translate well into a board game, right? Right? Wrong! You see, the beauty of the toys was the transforming nature of the vehicles, which is completely lost when translated into a 2-D board game. It’s the age-old battle between good and evil, but there’s no way this is as fun as playing with the actual toys. I grabbed this for 2 reasons: 1) I didn’t want anyone else to have it and 2) I was drawn in by the box art. I’ll never play it, and I may even release it back into the wild, but for that very moment, I had to have it.

Because I love all things Saban, I used to be a big fan of the Sweet Valley High TV series (and not just because the original Green Ranger made a few cameos. OK, that was the main reason). So, I snagged this board game based on the adventures of the Wakefield Twins. I’ll be honest here: I got this and Mall Madness simply to resell to that “disposable income” crowd. I’ve done an inventory of it, and everything is here. Since it’s based on the books, and not the show, it’s missing some of my favorite characters, like Andrea Savage’s “Renata”. The problem I found here, however is the box is LARGE. Shipping this thing would be a bitch, so I’m probably gonna throw this one back to the thrift store.

Speaking of Power Rangers, I got this game from my Secret Santa last Christmas. I’ve actually owned it a few times over the years, but never had anyone to play it with me. I’m drawn to the fact that it features King Sphinx who, according to early MMPR merchandising, was apparently an important character. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t! You’d think he was the Big Bad, or at least one of Rita’s henchmen, but he appeared once. Still, he’s got a great agent, as he’s all over the first year Power Rangers merch. I haven’t felt this let down since the Star Wars “Black Jedi” marketing of Finn! Damn it, I’m gonna make somebody play this with me!

Finally, we’ve got King Kong, where the famous gorilla scales the World Trade Center. Ehhhhhhhhh… Sure, when it was made, nobody ever thought that it would be the site of one of America’s greatest tragedies. They just knew the dude liked climbing tall buildings, and the WTC was two for the price of one! I’ve been sitting on this particular game for about 5 years, as I didn’t know what to do with it. The previously sold prices on eBay are all over the place, plus this box had a bunch of tape on it and I didn’t feel like ruining the box art trying to get it all off. So, I finally opened it up the other night, only to find that it’s basically incomplete. I mean, most of it’s there, but it is missing a player piece, so it can only be played by 3 people instead of 4. I guess I could part it out, but is there really a market for a cardboard cutout of the World Trade Center? I’ll probably end up throwing this one back.

There ya have it. I don’t wanna keep this too long, as I know nobody’s got an attention span anymore. In the comments, let me know some of your favorite board games. Am I missing out?

17th Jan2020

West YEAR Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 2019

by Will

I won’t say 2019 was a complete dumpster fire, but it certainly wasn’t very noteworthy. It was a year that many are glad to have behind them, and we’re looking forward to a better 2020. As you probably know, I took about 1/3 of the year off from posting because, well, there wasn’t a whole lot worth talking about. It was just such a Meh year. However, this is the time when we look back, so let’s see how the year shaped up, shall we?

I remember back in an early West Year Ever, I watched about 70 movies that year. This year I landed on unlucky number 13. Comic Book movies and Rambo films were the name of the game in 2019. The Rambo thing, however, was a fluke, as I did a Rambothon to prepare me for a podcast appearance.

Movies I Watched
1. Captain Marvel
2. SHAZAM!
3. Avengers: Endgame
4. Spider-Man: Far From Home
5. Barbershop: The Next Cut
6. First Blood
7. Rambo: First Blood Part II
8. Rambo III
9. Rambo
10. Rambo: Last Blood
11. White Chicks
12. The Grinch
13. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: I never wrote about this, because I feel like people should be more willing to say “I don’t know enough about this topic to have a strong opinion”. I mean, I enjoyed it in the theater, but it’s got fan service out the ass, and feels like it panders. Still, the lifelong fans seem to love it, so I guess “mission accomplished”? I will say that I’m disappointed in Finn’s character arc. Sure, I was one of the fools who initially fell for “Whoo hoo! Black Jedi!” Even when that didn’t come to pass, however, they never did anything with him. He’s such a blank slate that he’s come to be known by his relationships. That’s why everyone’s constantly trying to ship him with Poe Dameron. EVERYONE Finn encounters becomes a potential love interest. Rey, Poe, Rose, Jannah. He can’t meet someone without catching feelings. I don’t know if that’s because he was snatched as a child so he never had any real nurturing, or if it’s simply bad writing. But they didn’t do my man right.

Top Posts of 2019

While my West Week Ever posts are somewhat disposable, as they don’t mean much once the week has passed, every now and then I write something that I feel is sort of “evergreen” and can be read at any time. 2019 saw the return of my fan favorite segment Thrift Justice, with a heavy focus on physical media I acquired over the year. Then there was also a healthy dose of nostalgia. Check out these posts:

Thrift Justice: Operation Kondo
Thrift Justice: Let’s Get Physical! Physical! Media!
Thrift Justice: Physical Education
The Great Sitcom Fires of the 80s & 90s
Kickin’ It Old School at Retro Con 2019
West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – I Love The 80s REMIX!

Things You Might Have Missed This Year

  • We bid adieu to HarassmentWatch(TM), as #MeToo seemed to have calmed down.
  • All Elite Wresting debuted, finally giving WWE some competition
  • My pals at the Nerd Lunch Podcast announced that their show would be winding down
  • The latest incarnation of Power Rangers, Beast Morphers, debuted
  • The X-Men film franchised limped to the finish line with Dark Phoenix
  • Aunt Becky got caught cheating to get her daughter into USC
  • The Bat Penis made an appearance in Batman: Damned #1
  • The public outcry following the debut of the Sonic: The Hedgehog trailer caused Paramount to go back and change the character’s design.
  • Taco Bell Quarterly took the literary world by storm
  • Adam Levine left The Voice – ya know, that show that has never made a household name
  • We celebrated the 30th anniversary of 1989’s Batman
  • DC Comics shuttered the critically acclaimed Vertigo imprint
  • One of my favorite shows, The Amazing World of Gumball, came to a sudden end.
  • A bunch of y’all crowdfunded a $600 Transformer, so there’s that.
  • The X-Men comics got a major overhaul by writer Jonathan Hickman
  • Verizon, which paid an estimated $1.1 billion to acquire Tumblr, offloaded the site to WordPress’s parent company, Auttomatic, for a mere $20 million. At least the porn’s back.
  • Avengers: Endgame unseated Avatar to become the highest grossing movie in the world.
  • Sony opted not to renew their agreement to allow Spider-Man to be used in Marvel Studios films. And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. And then they changed their mind.
  • Get ready for the purple pill, as a fourth Matrix film was announced
  • SNL made history by hiring an Asian guy, but they also hired a guy who liked to make fun of Asians. And hilarity ensued! Not really. They fired that second guy.
  • NBCUniversal announced their own streaming service, peacock, which will carry the NBC library, as well as revivals of older shows, like Punky Brewster and Saved by the Bell
  • Taylor Swift released my favorite album of the year, Lover
  • McDonald’s celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Happy Meal, with a strange 5-day promotion that featured shoddy reproductions of old toys.
  • John Legend was named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, and even his wife, Chrissy Teigen, is like “Huh?”
  • Disney+ showed up on the scene and changed the streaming game. It’s a wonder Disney makes any money on it, though, as it seems like there are about 6 different cheat codes to get your first year for free.
  • I counted down the top 40 songs of 2019, as decided by moi.

West Week Ever Recipients of 2019
1/11/19 – Marie Kondo
2/15/19 – HardRockNick
3/1/19 – Star Wars: Always trailer
3/8/19 – Power Rangers Beast Morphers
3/15/19 – Captain Marvel
4/5/19 – SHAZAM!
5/3/19 – Avengers: Endgame
5/17/19 – Fox Network
5/24/19 – Live In Front of a Studio Audience
6/21/19 – Blanco Brown
7/19/19 – FaceApp
7/26/19 – Marvel Entertainment
8/16/19 – Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich
8/23/19 – Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich
9/20/19 – Taylor Swift: Lover
11/15/19 – Disney+
11/22/19 – Baby Yoda
12/6/19 – Xfinity’s E.T. commercial
12/13/19 – Ghostbusters: Afterlife trailer

 

So, normally we get to this point, and I add up how many things got the West Week Ever more than once, and the West YEAR Ever recipient becomes sort of obvious. That’s not the case this year. While the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich did get the WWE twice, I refuse to consider 2019 The Year of the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich. No, some special math is needed here.

If you notice, Disney made the list 5 different times (I’m not counting the Star Wars: Always entry, as that was a fan project). Disney was behind the 2 most anticipated films of the year, they tied up the Thanos Saga of the MCU deftly, and they introduced the character of the year: “Baby Yoda”. On top of those successes, they closed to deal to acquire 21st Century Fox, bringing several other franchises, such as X-Men and Alien into the Disney fold. Ya hear that? Ellen Ripley is a Disney Princess now!

So, even though those sandwiches had folks lined up around the block, they eventually lost momentum and now you can just get one whenever you want. Disney, however, is still making moves to increase their vast empire. Some think they’re evil. Some say it’s “just business”. Whatever it is, it’s hard to deny Disney’s success, which is why they had the West Year Ever in 2019.

There you have it. We can finally close the book on 2019 and start focusing on what 2020 has to offer. There’ll also be some changes on the site, but we won’t get into that too much right now. As always, thanks for reading, as Lord knows there are 1,000 other things vying for your time these days. I truly appreciate it!

18th Dec2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – I Love The 80s REMIX!

by Will

As we head into the holidays, I know fewer folks will be online (especially those avoiding Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker spoilers), so I thought I’d give you an early treat. Now, I briefly considered a West Decade Ever, but I really don’t have that in me. Instead, I kinda wanted to dabble in something different. You see, I don’t really get too musical on this site because I have the musical taste of a 15 year old White girl from Norfolk, Virginia: just enough pop knowledge, with a heavy dose of Tim McGraw sprinkled in there. Since I can’t attract that demographic without ending up on some sort of watchlist, I keep most of the music to the WBW40 post at the end of the year. That said, most of us here are Children of the 80s, and if Stranger Things has taught us anything, we eat that nostalgia shit right up! So, I thought I’d mix a little then with the now, and showcase some amazing 80s remixes I found of recent-ish songs. Some of these might not be new to you, but cut me a break, as I’ve been listening to Darius Rucker and Florida Georgia Line the past few years. This year, my holiday gift to you is a musical trip through time, where hopefully you’ll discover something that knocks your socks off as much as these did mine.

In my albeit brief research, one of the kings of this 80s remix movement seems to be a guy named Johan Olsson. If Max Martin, ABBA, and Ace of Base taught us anything, it’s to never rule out the Swedes when it comes to an earworm. He doesn’t do much to the existing songs, but what he does is SO spot on to the era. He basically isolates the original vocals and puts them over a standard 80s synth beat, but the end product sounds like something that actually charted 35 years ago.  Here’s a few of his best tracks:

“Helena” – My Chemical Romance

This was actually my introduction to this whole scene, when a friend posted the link on Facebook (See, Facebook isn’t ALL evil these days!). This could totally have been a hit by Breathe (of “Hands To Heaven” and “How Can I Fall?” fame). This has got “Awkward Slow Dance at Homecoming” written all over it, which is saying something since you can’t really dance to the original. And that sax solo! I thought it was a perfect homage already, and then that sax kicked in. And then the overlay of the sax on the final chorus? *Chef’s kiss* I would totally do this for karaoke if it were an option.

“Sugar, We’re Goin Down” – Fall Out Boy

If you’re new here, then you don’t know much about my love of California Dreams. An early staple of the 90s TNBC Saturday morning lineup, it was basically Saved By The Bell with a band (a REAL band, and not that Zack Attack crap). I would go so far as to say that I love California Dreams MORE than Saved By The Bell, primarily because of the music. Now, even though the show debuted in 1992, much of the music had that laid back, beachy sound that gave it something of a late 80s vibe. This rendition, right here, is a California Dreams song. Hence, I LOVE it. I already loved Fall Out Boy since their album Infinity On High. Loved them even more when they were part of the Teen Titans Go! The Night Begins To Shine special. With this, I don’t think it’s possible for me to love them more. Sure, they didn’t have a part in the production of this, but they provided the main ingredient, and that’s enough in my book!


“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” – Green Day

This has that dark, pulsing beat of a Pat Benatar song. If it were used in a movie, it would most definitely be during a driving sequence through the “bad part of town”. Maybe 80s Times Square, before Giuliani came and supposedly cleaned up the streets.


“Dani California” – Red Hot Chili Peppers

I can’t help but feel like this version would’ve been a great song to use in Beverly Hills Cop, just as Axel arrives in California. They could just use a bunch of standard California B-roll, with bikini girls rollerskating down the sidewalk and beautiful people playing beach volleyball.


“Side to Side” – Ariana Grande feat Nicki Minaj

Coming to a shopping mall near you is this new hit singer, Ariana Grande, and her bouncy hit “Side to Side”! This version puts a happier spin on the song, as the original sounds like snake charmer music. I will say that the Nicki verse doesn’t work as well with what Olsson is trying to emulate, but he kills it on the Ariana parts.


“Perfect” – Ed Sheeran

Know what’s funny? If this had come out in, say, 1986 Sheeran would’ve probably been a One-Hit Wonder, but this song would still be played at Black family reunions to this day. Instead, in the wacky world of 2019, he’s been named the Artist of the Decade! Not Olsson’s strongest offering, but he makes it work. This is actually one of his earliest remixes, so you can contrast this with “Helena” to see just how far he’s come in only a year at doing these.


“Symphony” – Clean Bandit feat Zara Larsson

I actually wasn’t familiar with the original in this instance, so I discovered TWO songs in this case. Immediately took to the Clean Bandits song, especially with that powerful music video that accompanies it. Still, I really like what Olsson does here. It’s understated, but could easily play over the end credits of some 80s thriller about a dystopian future. Anybody ever see that Tom Selleck/Gene Simmons movie, Runaway? Yeah, that movie would’ve been perfect for this. Again, this is one of Olsson’s earliest, but he stuck the landing on it right out of the gate.


“Poker Face” – Lady Gaga

Rest assured that Olsson isn’t the only one out there, doing the Lord’s work, and some artists just lend themselves well to the 80s remix treatment. One such artist is Lady Gaga, and this mix by D.A.M.I.A.N is pure perfection.


“Wrecking Ball” – Miley Cyrus

GK Starwalker turns in this “1987 Version” of Miley’s hit, which fires on all cylinders from the first beat. Nothing crazy is really done here, but it’s a great alternate take on the haunting song. A good, by-the-numbers 80s conversion.


“We Found Love” – Rihanna feat Calvin Harris

I really love what Rath Remix did with his one, and I’m a big fan of the original. I love how the synth comes in at the pre-chorus. This kinda sounds like Saved By The Bell music in a weird sort of way. It even ends like a TV theme song.


“I Want It That Way” – Backstreet Boys

I’ll close things out with one everyone knows. Here, Mohamad Shaxi delivers the song you hate to love, but can’t help but sing along to. You could almost call this the “GTA Mix”, as I feel like it would play in the in-game car, as you’re going to collect money from your bitches. It’s a standard synth beat, but it works. Back when I used to buy maxi singles, I could totally hear this being one of the remixes on there. After all, there wasn’t a ton of difference between late 80s pop and early-mid 90s European disco.

Well, there ya have it – 11 songs you didn’t know you’d hear when you woke up this morning. I fell down quite the rabbit hole, and I thank you for coming along with me. Which were your favorites? Do you know of any good ones I need to check out? Do you want posts like this in the future? As they say in my kids’ YouTube videos, leave a comment below! In the meantime, have a Happy Hanukkah, a Merry Christmas, and a Kickin’ Kwanzaa!

06th Dec2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 12/6/19

by Will

So, did everyone have a good Black Friday? I didn’t post, ’cause y’all weren’t gonna read it anyway. There were deals to be had! I did my typical spree on physical media that I’ll probably never watch:

  • I already own both Deadpool movies, but I got this Blu Ray 2-pack for $1.96. I COULDN’T leave that behind!
  • Yes, I know Dark Phoenix sucks, but I still haven’t seen it, and I own all the others, so I had to complete the set.
  • Booksmart always kinda looked like it was basically Girl Superbad, which doesn’t sound like the worst thing to me. Hope I’m right!
  • I didn’t read anything good about Rocketman, but Elton’s my favorite artist of all time, so I’ve gotta see it.
  • Yes, everyone who’s seen Holmes & Watson has wasted no time telling me it’s horrible, but I’m a sucker for that comedy duo, plus it was $3.

The rest of my haul came in last night. These online orders were my “Wait for Black Friday” babies that I’d passed up over the course of the year:

  • Was not fan of Captain Marvel, but I’ve got all the rest, and it was just $7.99, so…
  • I know this is sacrilege, but I enjoyed Venom. Hell, I enjoyed it more than Captain Marvel, which is why it’s here.
  • SHAZAM! was fun, and deserves to be revisited. On the flip side, I never saw Aquaman, but feel it deserves a fair shake.
  • Can’t wait to watch Cooper and Gaga’s Not Relationship play out in A Star Is Born!
  • Everything else here I’ve never seen (Yes, that includes Jingle All the Way and 3/5 of the Transformers films), so they’re New to Me.

I’m convinced that I’ll be the key to the physical media infrastructure after The Collapse, so I guess there’s that.

Trailer Park

No Time To Die

I like to think I’m a James Bond fan, but my favorite of the franchise is Moonraker, and I’ve never seen a Daniel Craig Bond film, so I guess I’m just kidding myself. This looks fine for the folks who are true fans, but that ain’t me. I feel like I’m missing some backstory here or something, but maybe it’s just how the trailer is edited. Yay for Black 00 agent, but she’ll probably die ’cause she’s way too cocky (ugh at the thinkpieces that’s gonna trigger), and Bond never dies. He’s got no time to die! I’ve got nothing against this film, but I’ll probably never see it.


Crisis on Infinite Earths (The CW)

I get that this is supposed to be EPIC, but I also feel like I’m missing something by not being All In on the Arrowverse right now. In fact, I feel like those novices who were like “Can I see Infinity War/Endgame if I haven’t seen the other Marvel movies?” I realize that Flash has been building to this since its pilot, which is why it’s kinda odd to me that, somewhere along the way, this became an Oliver Queen story. In the original 80s comic series, the big deaths were Flash and Supergirl, but I can’t help but feel that basic knowledge of the TV industry kinda puts the kibosh on that happening here. I mean, there are contracts in place. You kill those 2, what are you gonna do for the back half of each of their seasons? Meanwhile, Arrow only has, like, one episode left after this crossover, so… My point is that, while this has become quite the smorgasbord/clusterfuck mishmash of DC properties that some folks have always wanted, I can’t possibly imagine anything they could throw at me that would blow my socks off. And I’m not trying to be difficult here. I stopped regularly watching Arrow when Lian Yu got blown the Hell up, so I’m 2 seasons and change behind. It’s just that I feel really detached from those shows right now, so I’m probably just not the target audience they’re trying to reach. Crossing my fingers that it’s good, though.


Mulan

I’ve actually never seen the animated feature (I know, I know), but that might work in this one’s favor. I’ve made no secret that I’m not a fan of Disney’s recent “Let’s ‘live action’ that bitch!” initiative they’re applying to all their past animated hits. I feel like, outside of Pixar, Disney’s recent films are stagnant, and they don’t really know what to do next. People like to rip on the MCU for being formulaic and lacking stakes, but Disney Proper really isn’t taking many risks these days. Sure, it’s not “easy” translating a lot of these things to live action, but why do it anyway? Just because? Anyway, this looks pretty amazing, and I’m prepared to watch the Hell out of it. Also, it looks like the kind of thing best seen on the big screen, and that’s not something I do for just any movie. But I’m picking up what you’re putting down, Mulan, and I’m ready!


Troop Zero

“As a father of daughters”, I find this looks cute. I’d never pay to see it, and I’d never rent it. However, it’s perfectly placed on Amazon Prime, where I can watch it at my leisure without ever living my house. Ain’t The Future grand?


Black Widow

I’m not completely dead inside yet, but this did absolutely nothing for me. I’m trying not to let the whole “She’s a dead character/Endgame was the perfect coda to the MCU” mentality creep in. All that aside, this movie is a day late and a dollar short. Regardless of the stuff I just mentioned, this should have been ensconced in Phase 2 and NOT all the way in Phase 4. Will I watch it? Sure. Am I excited about watching it? Not at all. This would be like if they said “Hey, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is gonna have a movie”, which is another property that could’ve benefited from some early theatrical love. Widow is not my favorite Avenger, but you say that shit on Twitter, and they’ll cancel ya for hating women. No, I just don’t care that much for how she’s portrayed in the movies, despite the fact there’s been some great comic stories with her (like Nathan Edmondson and Phil Noto’s recent Black Widow series). I know they’re just calling this a teaser, so I’m sure Disney is hard at work on an official trailer, chock full of footage that won’t be in the actual movie.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Almost 2 years after Hasbro’s purchase of the property, the “Saban’s” prefix will finally be removed from the Power Rangers logo in 2020. While Haim Saban had acted in a consultant role on the brand, his future with it is now uncertain.
  • After debuting just last weekend on the DC Universe streaming service, the premiere episode of the animated Harley Quinn series is set to air on TBS this Sunday night. While the worst words will be censored, a move like this is still enough to make folks question why DC Universe is even still around, as far as original programming is concerned.
  • Speaking of animated shows, it’s been reported that the showrunner and writing staff of the Tigra & Dazzler animated series, set to stream on Hulu, have been let go. There are reports that it’s undergoing a “creative overhaul”, but I doubt those Hulu shows ever see the light of day. They were Jeph Loeb’s babies, and his departure was announced during my most recent blog break. Everyone knows the new boss throws out the old boss’s shit so they can do their own shit. I don’t care if Kevin Smith and Chelsea Handler were attached to that planned animated universe, it ain’t happening.
  • In the “Get Yo’ Money, Playa” move of the century, tortured Jar Jar Binks actor Ahmed Best is returning to the franchise to host the Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge game show for Disney+
  • There are reports that Disney is looking to revive the Planet of the Apes franchise in some capacity, as it is seen by some as the most viable property in the recently acquired Fox portfolio.
  • Since John Witherspoon’s passing, there are now reports that actress Jenifer Lewis is interested in portraying Granddad’s sister in the upcoming Boondocks revival.
  • If you’re like me, in thinking that The CW’s Crisis on Infinite Earths could probably stand to be more than 5 parts, then you’ll be glad (or mad) to know that DC felt the same way. This is why they’re releasing a 2-issue Crisis comic series that will be part of their 100-Page Giant series sold at Walmart. These comics, co-written by original Crisis writer Marv Wolfman, will feature the Arrowverse characters, and fill in some of the blanks that won’t make it to the screen. Issue #1 will be out 12/15, with #2 out on 1/19.
  • Justin Timberlake has publicly apologized to wife, Jessica Biel, for being spotted holding hands with his film costar, Alisha Wainwright. He’s blaming it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, and swears nothing happened. This is such a juvenile non-scandal that I half expect him to go public with his Cootie Test results.

  • At long last, we’re finally getting full-fledged DC Comics characters in the next series of LEGO Minifigures blind bags! I’m SO glad I won’t have to buy full sets to get some of these characters now.

Since we skipped last week, we never got a chance to talk about E.T.’s grand return. You see, during the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC, 80s pop culture icon E.T. came back! No, he wasn’t a parade balloon, nor was he in the booth with Hoda and Al. I wish I could say it was a trailer for a long-awaited sequel, but I can’t say that, either. No, the folks at Xfinity decided to dust him off to tug at nostalgia to help them sell bundle packages.

11 million views later, and I’m left here with a lot of questions. I mean, just think of all of Elliott’s therapy that was done by this return! And why wasn’t his wife more frantic? What’s SHE hiding? And where’s Gertie? Please tell me Gertie’s OK! It couldn’t have been easy growing up knowing what she knew.

It’s a cute ad, but luckily E.T. doesn’t hold much of a special place in my heart, so I wasn’t over here weeping like some Evangelical listening to “The Christmas Shoes” for the umpteenth time. No, your trickery didn’t work on me, Xfinity! Plus, I already have your services, so you have nothing left to sell me right now.

I could get used to this, though. Maybe next year, they could do Weird Science with a CGI Kelly LeBrock. I’d LOVE to see Wyatt and Gary try to explain that to their wives and/or husbands. “Um, we created her…for science!”

It’s a cheap ploy, but nostalgia is an instant warp zone into the hearts of many. They used a day meant for family to showcase E.T. being reunited with his own. Well played, Xfinity. Anyway, it’s safe to say that E.T. had the West Week Ever.

22nd Nov2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/22/19

by Will

Not a ton to talk about this week, so it’ll be a short one. Yay?

In a somewhat surprising move, Warners announced that the upcoming DC Comics series Stargirl will debut on the DC Universe streaming service, with episodes, then, airing on The CW the very following night! If they’re gonna be doing this, then what even is the point of DC Universe going forward? I mean, they’re already moving a lot of their development slate to HBO Max (which is where Doom Patrol will air in addition to DC Universe), and it’s starting to make DCU look obsolete. Of course, DCU subscribers are mad because they wanted some sort of exclusive content from the app, when they’re only getting the first dibs on it by a very small margin. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a quiet announcement that DCU is being absorbed into HBO Max by year’s end.

 

Speaking of The CW’s DC shows, it only just now occurred to me that we’re not getting all of the “Crisis on Infinite Earths” event in one week. In the past, these crossovers were contained to the same week, but here we’re getting the first 3 parts (Supergirl, Batwoman, and The Flash) starting December 8th. Meanwhile, the final 2 parts (Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow) air January 14th. Now, I know they’re trying to get some mileage out of this Arrow “victory lap”, but that is a momentum killer.

A Twitter friend pointed out that at least it’s better than the year folks had to wait for the conclusion of the original Crisis on Infinite Earths comic series, but that’s no consolation to me. The first parts will air, there’ll be some shocking cliffhanger death, which will promptly be spoiled on Twitter, and then folks will speculate until January 14th. Yeah, I’m probably just gonna wait and watch it all in January.

I know we live in this whole world of the “fall finale” now, but most of these are so forced that I hate that it’s even a concept now. It used to be understood that shows simply went on hiatus in the winter because folks had better stuff to do than watch TV, like drunkenly hit on their secretaries at office Christmas parties. But now we have no more “secretaries” and no more drinking at the office parties. Thanks a lot, Harvey Weinstein! So, now we have to break it to folks that their beloved shows need a rest, by introducing the fall finale. It’s like saying “Don’t worry! We promise to finish explaining how one does get away with murder, but we need a bit of a production reset.” It just feels so unnecessary.

It looks like the 4th Star Trek film, set in the “Kelvin Timeline”, is back on! Noah Hawley, of Fargo and Legion fame, has been brought on to direct. They’re saying Chris Pine is coming back, but it’s unclear if this is the same Kirk Meets His Father story that they’d been pitching when Chris Hemsworth was still on board. I guess this is good news. I mean, I still haven’t seen Star Trek Beyond, but I’ve heard it’s better than Into Darkness. That said, I thought the Kelvin Timeline wrapped up as a nice little experimental trilogy, but I’m ready to get back to the “prime” timeline, in a medium that’s not a subscription-based television show.

Tesla introduced the Cybertruck, which is a hideous, pixelated-looking vehicle that shouldn’t even exist. It looks like something from the syndicated 1-season wonder Team Knight Rider, or those later seasons of Viper when the Defender had an off-road mode. God, I miss Saturday afternoon syndicated shows! Even more than Saturday morning cartoons. Here, let’s watch some videos of those 2 shows:

 

So, I hear you’re looking for some of them “Baby Yodas”. Well, you’re not alone! Debuting at the end of the premiere of Star Wars: The Mandalorian, this little critter is all anyone can talk about! It’s not actually THE Yoda, but that doesn’t matter, since Yoda’s race and homeworld were apparently never named. So, “Baby Yoda” it is!

Now, the race is on to see who’s gonna pump out the first Baby Yoda merchandise first. At first it was believed that nothing would be out in time for the holidays, but now I’m hearing that’s not the case? Well, good luck with that! I’m still over here, waiting for KB Toys to open all those stores they’ve promised us the past couple of years.

I still haven’t seen The Mandalorian yet, but I feel like I’m already quite familiar with this character, as I’ve known about it since TMZ spoiled the appearance Friday morning 2 weeks ago. I go to TMZ for celebrity gossip, not space baby spoilage! I guess they saw a winner and ran with it. Can’t really fault them for that…even though most folks hadn’t seen the episode yet. Then, when last week’s episode rolled around, the spoiler moratorium was over, so folks just let their adoration fly. So, look out Porgs, as you’re no longer the belle of the ball! Just like when a sitcom brings in a new, cuter kid when the youngest enters their “awkward period” (my favorites include Billy from Who’s The Boss, Sam from Diff’rent Strokes, and Seven from Married…with Children), Baby Yoda is here to knock Porgs off the block. Let’s just hope little Baby Yoda isn’t horrifically wiped from existence like those cute replacement kids I just listed. In any case, Baby Yoda had the West Week Ever.

15th Nov2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/15/19

by Will

HELLO?! IS ANYBODY HERE?! *echo*

 

I feel like I go on hiatus way too much because I find myself apologizing for having done so way too much. This year, West Year Ever is gonna be pretty easy to compile since I took off, like, 1/3 of the year. Seriously, I even considered switching the format to West Month Ever for a while.

So, where have I been? That’s a great question. Long story short: I had nothing to say. Or, better yet, I had nothing positive to say. And you know the saying, “If you can’t say anything nice…” Sure, there was plenty of stuff to rant about, but I couldn’t balance it out with anything I *LIKED*, and that was a problem. The internet is toxic enough, so I really didn’t feel like feeding into that. So, I spent my time catching up on Power Rangers: Beast Morphers episodes, and trying to clean up my basement. There were times when I was on the verge of posting something, and then life would throw a monkey wrench into my plans. One week, I was working at the work site that has my site blocked, so no posting then. Another week, I was in a car accident and had my car battery die (resulting in a 2.5 hour wait for AAA), all in the same Friday. So, I guess I was just supposed to skip the month of October.

This week, though, couldn’t be skipped because just TOO much happened, and it felt like the perfect time to make my grand return.

In the movie realm, I got around to watching White Chicks the other day. No, I’d never seen it, even though I know it’s a guilty pleasure for a lot of folks. At the end of the day, I didn’t love it. I mean, it’s problematic in a way that only a movie from 2004 could get away with, but I also didn’t find it to be that funny. It could be because we’ve sort of left the era of the socialite behind. Sure, the Kardashians are always considered “famous for being famous”, but they’ve built a business empire upon that. Outside the Hadid girls, we don’t really have the Paris & Nicole Simple Life era socialites anymore, even if we still have spoiled, rich White girls. To be honest, though, I probably would’ve preferred a movie about the Dominican bodega owners that Shawn and Marlon are disguised as in the beginning. I’ll also note that I watched this thing on TV One, so it was probably edited for television with all the good stuff taken out. For you fans out there, is it worth revisiting in, say, an unrated DVD sort of way?

One thing that took the past week by storm was the McDonalds Happy Meal 40th anniversary promotion, and BOY do I have thoughts on that! Designed as a limited run from November 7th through 11th, the promotion first leaked from some YouTuber posting about it. Then, Matt from Dinosaur Dracula tweeted about it, at which point he said McDonalds “kindly” asked him to take down the tweet. Then McDonalds formally announced it: for 5 days only, they would be celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Happy Meal by releasing reproductions of some of their most iconic toys. Oh, and in blind bags.

Let me tell you a little bit of my own history with McDonalds Happy Meal toys, as I was once something of a superfan. This is where my collecting lifestyle began. When there was a new promotion, it was my weekend mission to get my mom to drive us all over town so I could complete those sets. This went on from about Kindergarten to maybe 8th grade. I got to a point where I was modding Happy Meal orders to come with Big Macs and Quarter Pounders with Cheese (I was a “husky”, hungry child) until some employee eventually told me “You know, you can just BUY the toys.” That’s when I moved the to the Extra Value Menu, occasionally shelling out an additional $1.89 for Happy Meal toys. So I had the originals of everything in this anniversary promotion. I would have liked a proper tribute to those old toys, but this wasn’t it.

OK, so here’s the first problem: why reproductions? I know you’re all not like me, spending all your free time in thrift stores, but lemme tell ya something: McDonalds toys are NOT hard to find. Plus I feel like there’s got to be some sort of McDonalds Area 51 with a stockpile of old toys they could’ve drawn from. Even if this doesn’t exist (prove me wrong, cowards!), they could’ve really made this special in other ways. Maybe team up with the American Pickers guys, and have them go out and find some dead stock for them to use. It’d make a great special episode of the show, and it would look like some kind of effort went into it. It could’ve been a yearlong buildup, with webisodes and whatnot. Instead, we get this lame promotion that was shoehorned into a week that McDonalds needed to fill between the Hello Kitty/Pokémon promotion and the Frozen II promotion.

Next problem: blind bagged, though numbered. Why act like it’s such a surprise about what you’ll get when everyone knows there are 17 in the US (#9, believed to be a Barbie, was pulled from the promotion before it began), and the numbers are right there on the polybags? It’s not “blind” if you can read numbers. And I’m not talking some sort of secret Braille code, like the LEGO minifigures use. I’m talking a clear as day number, right on the front, that corresponds to a checklist that most social media influencers posted online after they received a promo shipment from McDonalds. When I didn’t get a special box from McDonalds, that’s when I knew I wasn’t shit.

When the toys actually hit, the third problem became apparent: cheap, inaccurate reproductions. The new toys weren’t as well made as the originals, and they all had 2019 date stamps so as to not confuse folks into thinking they were the vintage toys. A lot of strange decisions had been made. The Changeables burger was no longer a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, as both the cheese and sesame seeds had been removed from the mold. And the one that really grinds my gears: the Red Power Ranger. It’s bad enough McDonalds included this thing when the Power Rangers figures were NOT Happy Meal toys (they were add-on items that you could buy for $1.99 each when the original movie was in theaters), but this Red Ranger they’d included only had one arm and one leg that moved, while the opposite limbs were fixed. Why?! Then they included Bugs Bunny from Space Jam, which was odd because A) I wouldn’t call that promotion “iconic” and B) the gimmick of that toy line was that the different characters were on pieces of basketball court that you assembled into something akin to a train. One toy from the line was kind of boring, but to have them all was sort of special. Here, you got one toy. It’d be like if they had just given you one piece of the Inspector Gadget build a figure promotion. What the Hell are you gonna do with ONE piece?!

Anyway, I found myself on the wrong side of history on this one because the nostalgia bloggers were eating it up. I, however, didn’t get it. Surprisingly, even my wife was like “We’re gonna get Happy Meals every day!” I understand the nostalgia factor, but it just felt so poorly executed. Since the promotion was only 5 days long, restaurants got limited stock and a lot of them seemed to have depleted that stock before the 11th even hit. Plus, I can’t believe that McDonalds contracted factories all the way in China to make such subpar repros for this promotion, especially when the marketing department seemingly screwed the pooch. If you enjoyed it, great, but something just felt rushed and disorganized about the whole thing. Here’s hoping they do a better job for the 50th anniversary, but we’ll be so “woke” by then that Happy Meals will be a salad and a toothbrush.

In the world of comics, there was a lot of hubbub about Jonathan Hickman becoming the new architect of the X-Men line. Everything kicked off in the companion series House of X and Powers of X, which were released weekly over the summer. These led to the release of a new X-Men #1, which I grabbed at a midnight release party (Thanks, Third Eye Comics!).

Now, I had read House of X #1 and thought “Interesting start, but I’m not paying $6 a week for this story.” So, I skipped those minis and dove right into the first issue of the ongoing. And my verdict? These aren’t my X-Men. I like the X-Men who are hated and feared, but always recharge after a huge battle by playing baseball at their school in Westchester county. Hickman’s X-Men, however, has too many moving parts, and I’m not on board with a lot of it.

In a lot of ways, Hickman’s vision is basically just a remix of what Grant Morrison brought to the line when he took over “adjectiveless” X-Men and it became New X-Men. Both share the premise that mutants now have the upper hand, causing frightened humanity to go to desperate measures to prevent their own extinction. It’s an interesting viewpoint, but it’s one where I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. With X-Men, sometimes that takes years (see: Emma Frost), but to paraphrase Karl Mordo, “The bill comes due. Always.”

I have always felt that the life cycle of superhero comic fandom is about 15 years, because audiences cycle in and out, but that’s about how long it takes for Been There, Done That to set in. I feel like I’ve seen this before, and that just might be a sign that my time with Charles Xavier’s mutants is up. Maybe folks are into that sort of journey, but I don’t wanna stay on this ride.

While I was away from blogging, I was still keeping busy, running my mouth on a few podcasts. First up, I recorded a look back on Batman ’89 with my pal Chad at the Horror Movie BBQ back over the summer, and he never told me that the episode was posted. I’d been over here, stewing for the last 5 months, that he had yet another unreleased episode with me (We recorded an Adam West tribute a while back that devolved into chaos and has never seen the light of day), meanwhile it had been on his site the whole time. So, sorry about that, Chad. It was a good discussion, though, as I talk about my Bat Amnesia and more, so check it out!

Next, I joined the guys over at Nerd Lunch for the final “Ned Lurch” episode. As they prepare to “sunset” their show, they’re taking one last stab at some of their themes, and Ned Lurch is a guy whose friends and advisors are constantly giving him bad business advice, in an attempt to see him fail. In our episode, Ned is talked into launching the worst action figure line ever. Check it out, as I give the worst improv performance you’d ever expect from me, but it was a fun show. Speaking of improv, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned how I actually auditioned for the improv group in college. Yeah, there was a period of time when I was bored with a cappella and wanted to try something different. The problem with that plan, though, was that group was led by my girlfriend’s ex boyfriend. At least I made it to the final round, though…

Finally, get ready for the Christmas season by listening to me talk about everyone’s favorite “That’s Not a Christmas Movie!” No, not Die Hard. Instead, podcast extraordinaire, Michael May, had me on his Sleigh Bell Cinema show to discuss Iron Man 3. The same way you’ve got to look at Superman III as “Hey, it’s a Richard Pryor movie, featuring Superman”, you’ve got to do some mental gymnastics with this one, as well. What do I think about Tony Stark’s final solo outing? Take a listen to find out!

Trailer Park


Sonic the Hedgehog

I can’t deny that he looks better now, but I loathe the precedent this movie set. In case you don’t remember, the original design for Sonic had fans so outraged that the backlash to the initial trailer led the studio to delay the film and retool Sonic’s look. On the one hand, folks are like “Great job for listening to the fans!” Meanwhile, I’m over here, like, “Ugh, you listened to FANS!” Half the time fans don’t know what they want, and they tend to stick to the familiar because they hate change. That’s fine. I also dislike change. That said, this movie was never going to be a blockbuster, but now folks feel guilty that they have to support it since they raised such a stink. But you see, the internet is full of folks who love a good fight with no vested interest. A lot of the people the most upset about Sonic’s design were never going to see the movie in the first place. So, was the redesign worth it or in vain? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.


SCOOB!

Is this basically a reboot of A Pup Named Scooby Doo? ‘Cause I was ALL about that era in the 90s when everyone got a “Lil” version of their franchise. The Flintstone Kids, Life with Louie, Hell, even Little Rosey (who’da thunk they would’ve given a cartoon to Roseanne?! But they did). I won’t be seeing this in theaters, but I’ll totally grab it on Black Friday for my girls.


Holiday Rush

This looks kinda cute. You don’t get a ton of Black Christmas movies, and I’m a fan of Romany Falco. The beauty of this is that I’d never go see this in a theater, not even if the tickets were free, but I can watch dude hit on First Officer Michael Burnham, while sitting at home in my underwear? Sure, I’ll buy that for a dollar!


Harley Quinn

Looks fun. Still not signing up for the DC Universe service. There’s got to be a plan to rehome these shows on HBO Max going forward, as the existence of DCU is making less sense by the day. They could repurpose that site to be a purely comic hub, like Marvel has Marvel Unlimited, but it doesn’t make sense to keep the shows on there, especially when Warner Media is trying to brand HBO Max as THE streaming portal for their catalog. So, I’ll watch this when I eventually cave and get HBO Max, since Rick & Morty will probably be exclusive to that service by 2025 or something.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • John Legend was named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, and even his wife, Chrissy Teigen, is like “Huh?” I mean, he seems nice enough, but kinda soft. Then again, he’s a former collegiate a cappella kid, so I guess I’ve gotta support him in this endeavor.
  • Not content to stand on the sidelines of the upcoming Streaming Wars, Nickelodeon has signed a deal with Netflix to develop movies and shows based on their properties. Personally, I can’t wait for Are You Afraid of the Black Mirror?
  • The sand might be running out of the hourglass for one of your grandma’s “stories”, as the entire cast of Days of Our Lives has been released from their contracts. Many feel this is a negotiation tactic by the show’s producer, Corday Productions, as they head into contract negotiations. Worst case scenario is everyone is fired and they all get recast. Best case scenario is everyone is rehired, but now at a lower, take it or leave it, rate negotiated in new contracts. Despite the fact that soap operas are a relic of the past, NBC seems committed to providing a home for Days for the foreseeable future.
  • For a brief moment this week, folks thought that Ecto Cooler’s return had been confirmed, coinciding with the release of next year’s Ghostbusters film. That shit turned out to be fake, though. Ya know, until it’s not.
  • As if Constance Wu’s Twitter rant last Spring was going to be forgiven so easily, ABC confirmed that this season of Fresh Off the Boat would be its last. Cute show, but everyone seemed ready to move on, and they’ll all be fine. I know the show was symbolic as the longest running Asian American sitcom, but there will be others. One day. Hopefully.
  • Rick & Morty came back to Adult Swim this week, and I…didn’t love it. Probably because I hadn’t seen this episode 37 times like I have the others. No, seriously, it airs daily and there are only about 30 episodes. It only takes a month to run through the existing 3 seasons. I’ve seen this show more than anything else on TV and I’m not even a superfan. Maybe I’ll grow to love this season.
  • Three year after his death, George Michael’s estate released “This Is How (We Want You To Get High)” for the Last Christmas soundtrack. I’m a sucker for both George Michael AND songs with parentheses in their names, so this song is a hit to me!

  • After it was first announced, like, 10 years ago, The Rock’s Black Adam movie finally got a release date: December 22, 2021. Too bad it’s never gonna happen.
  • I know y’all claim you don’t like country, but I know some like Halsey, and here she guested with Lady Antebellum on one of my favorite songs of the year at this week’s CMA Awards.

  • Screw it. Here’s another amazing performance from the CMAs, from Dan + Shay:

  • Music industry supervillain Scooter Braun recently purchased Taylor Swift’s back catalog, and won’t allow her to perform a medley of her past hits as she receives an achievement award at the American Music Awards. Dick move, but a powerful move.

Well, you couldn’t swing a dead cat online this week without hitting something having to do with Disney+. The anticipated streaming service launched Tuesday, and it’s all anyone can talk about. The launch, however, wasn’t without its hiccups. For one thing, they didn’t allow you to download the app until launch day, so there was no testing to make sure all your ducks were in a row before the big day. Also, a lot of people got error screens when trying to watch their desired selection. That said, it’s a repository of a HUGE amount of Disney programming – from Star Wars to Disney Channel Original Movies – and all for a mere $6.99 per month.

I am not a Disney evangelist, so this wasn’t exactly the Second Coming to me that it was for some folks. Regular readers know I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Fox buyout, but I’ve got kids, and kids like Disney, so I got Disney+. In fact, I have TWO accounts! You see, I signed up on Monday to make sure we were good to go, but then I remembered that, as an unlimited data Verizon customer, I actually get a year of the service for free. So, we had my wife sign up that way, and then I just need to remember to cancel my trial before they charge me on Tuesday. Hell, I probably should be doing that instead of writing this. I need that $70! Oh well, I said I wanted to live dangerously…

Despite the minor gripes that folks have had, including series episodes being out of order and the constant error screens, I feel the roll out could’ve been MUCH worse. I think the demand for the service exceeded even Disney’s expectations (with a reported 10 million sign ups), I think things settled down rather quickly. Folks online began to post the “true” viewing order for episodes, and the error screens decreased.

Another pseudo controversial aspect is that they’ve added disclaimers to properties, like Dumbo, stating that they contain outdated views and representations. Some folks feel like those programs shouldn’t be on the service at all, but I disagree. At least Disney is owning up to its past, and making it something of a teachable moment. With the disclaimers, they can have their cake and eat it, too. That said, it’s just gonna rile up the “Where’s Song of the South?!” crowd even more. Personally, I think Disney handled this the right way, but you can’t please everyone, and you can barely please anyone in 2019.

The biggest show at launch was undoubtedly the Star Wars spinoff, The Mandalorian. I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, but I’ve heard nothing but great things about it, and it clocks in at only 38 minutes. Score! Hopefully I’ll get to it this weekend. Meanwhile, everyone else on social media was posting about the first thing they watched after setting up the service. I’ve got a big audit at work today, so didn’t have time to play around with things myself. My oldest, however, watched Frozen, like we don’t already have 3 copies of that thing around this house somewhere. I’ve got to remind myself that it’s just $6.99, and not a total waste of money. Wait. It’s free. Whatever. She can watch Frozen all day long, ’cause that ain’t costing me a dime!

Anyway, after my long hiatus, I think I can dust off the title, and present it to Disney+, which clearly had the West Week Ever.

16th Aug2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 8/16/19

by Will

I’ve come to realize that my Nerd Boner Refractory Period (NBRP)™ is about 2 weeks these days. It takes me about 2 weeks to get excited about anything going on in pop culture, I can keep it up for an extra week, and then I need another 2 to recharge. So, here we are, 2 weeks after we last got together. How have you been? I like those shoes. Are they new?

Since we last spoke, I finished my binge of NBC’s Superstore. If you’ve ever worked in retail, you will COMPLETELY relate to this series set in the Cloud 9 big box store. Clocking in at 4 seasons, it’s not too much of a lift to get through, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I will point out, though, that it takes a turn in season 3. Like, the first 2 seasons are pretty run-of-the-mill single cam sitcom, but in season 3 it gets more…mature? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but the language changes, like they say “Jesus Christ” and “dick”, which were formerly reserved for things like basic cable. Most network shows still censor “Jesus Christ” to this day, in 2019! The only downside to the binge is that I watched it on the NBC app, where they also included the Superstore panel from SDCC. The general vibe I got off that was that this show is another Seinfeld, where the actors only pretended to like each other. A friend of mine pointed out that this is exactly like working in retail. In any case, It felt like America Ferrera kinda runs that set, and they all just sort of work one rung beneath her. Maybe it was just convention panel jitters, but it didn’t come off like “These are people who enjoy each other’s company”. I want to believe they’re really friends! Anyway, if you’ve ever been curious about the show, I highly recommend it.

In movie/TV/80s/cartoon/toy news, Hasbro is moving forward with a G.I. Joe spinoff film starring Crazy Rich Asians star Henry Golding as Snake Eyes. I find that character exhausting, which is why I’m much more interested in another Joe spinoff that was announced, which would focus on the character Chuckles. As the Joes’ undercover specialist, his sole animated appearance was in G.I.Joe: The Movie. As such, he’s never been taken that seriously by the fandom, so this announcement comes as a surprise to many. I, however, am not surprised because I read the IDW comic miniseries G.I. Joe: Cobra, which focused on Chuckles being sent on an undercover mission to infiltrate Cobra. Not only did I enjoy that series more than the regular Joe book at the time, but I also saw the character in a whole new light. That series felt like a dark Showtime/FX series, so I could definitely see it as the source for a good movie. I mean, it’s Paramount, so we can’t really hope for too much, but all is not lost!

Speaking of old 80s properties, I posted that tweet last night and was pretty surprised at the response. It was the result of a random tweet that popped up on my timeline, of someone swearing the Are You Afraid of the Dark? reboot better be good. Now, he clearly wasn’t the target audience for this show, so why was he so invested in it? A lot of folks asked me which show I was referring to, but the sad thing is that it didn’t matter. You could plug any old property into that blank, and you’d get the same response. There’s something about 80s and 90s kids who think these properties were theirs and theirs alone. Every generation needs their own stuff.

I’ve been saying for years that Hasbro should move away from the Duke/Destro iteration of G.I. Joe. It has its time and place, but too much has to be changed to work now. Can’t call Cobra a “terrorist organization” anymore, for one thing. Plus, kids really don’t give a shit about G.I. Joe anyway. Even if you tried to modernize it, they wouldn’t care. Is it a mobile game now? Maybe. Other than that, nope. A lot of this stuff is only loved by 40 year old men, and you can’t make them happy anyway. Between sexless marriages and prostate exams, they’re always gonna be full of piss and vinegar. I’m also talking to you, 40 year old men. You’re not really mad that She-Ra “looks like a boy”. No, you’re upset you got passed over again for a promotion, or you’re upset you can’t see your penis anymore. Let’s let kids have shit. Is that too much to ask? If you also happen to enjoy it, great, but Hollywood can’t keep catering to your old ass.

Trailer Park

Dolemite Is My Name (Netflix)

I never thought I would see Rudy Ray Moore as a sympathetic character, yet here we are. This looks so good to me. And that cast! I haven’t seen a Dolemite movie in, maybe, 25 years and it was an edited version on Channel 54. I’d like to check out the full, uncensored stuff, but I know that box set I used to see at Walmart is probably going for 3 figures on the secondary market as everyone jumps on the bandwagon in anticipation of this film. And the best part? I won’t even have to leave home to watch it!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Verizon, which paid an estimated $1.1 billion to acquire Tumblr, offloaded the site to WordPress’s parent company, Auttomatic, for a mere $20 million. Womp womp. That’s what you get for getting rid of all the porn! As someone once put it, Tumblr was the world’s most efficient porn delivery service, and they just threw that all away.
  • The X-Men adjacent series Legion ended on FX this week after three seasons. I’m sure one or two of y’all care about that.
  • Did we ever talk about the fact that the Mad About You revival got picked up by Spectrum? So, yeah, nobody’s gonna see it. In any case, actress Abby Quinn was cast as Paul & Jamie’s daughter, Mabel, who’s heading off to college. Who, besides Paul Reiser, wanted this show?
  • NBC is in talks to modernize ’80s Brat Pack film St. Elmo’s Fire and adapt it into a TV show. I remember watching this movie in the hospital room when my oldest was born. Despite being set locally, I could not relate to it, and couldn’t even tell you what it was about if ya asked me. That song, though, is iconic.
  • After 13 years apart, CBS and Viacom have resolved their differences, re-merging as ViacomCBS. On the upside, as my friend Zac put it, this means the Star Trek film and TV rights are now back under the same umbrella, which had been a source of problems over the last decade.
  • Speaking of CBS, there are reports that Drew Barrymore is in talks with the studio to develop a daytime talk show. I see that lasting about a season, if she’s lucky.
  • So, I guess Ewan McGregor is getting his Obi-Wan show on Disney+? I can’t even keep up anymore. I know there reports of it, but it still seems “iffy” right now. I just find it funny that the Star Wars fans want this, even though he’s a reminder of how much they supposedly hate the prequels (though 2019 revisionist history claims “They actually weren’t that bad”).
  • Some feel Jay-Z has sold out with his Roc Nation’s recent partnership with the NFL. He has argued that he can do more work to effect change from the inside, but that’s not enough for many. At the end of the day, rich folks gonna rich, so…
  • Chrisley knows best? It sure doesn’t seem like it! Reality stars Todd and Julie Chrisley were indicated this week, before a federal grand jury, for tax evasion, wire fraud, conspiracy to commit bank fraud and conspiracy to defraud the United States. WOW! And, to top it off, Todd tried to extort his daughter Lindsie by threatening to release a sex tape of her. I see the Chrisleys are trying to go FULL Kardashian! Let me know how that works out for you, Todd. In any case, the Chrisleys are facing up to 30 years in prison.

So everyone on Black Twitter this week seemed captivated by this new creation brought into the world by fast food fried chicken chain Popeyes. Now, I can’t even get arrested on Black Twitter, but I know people who know people, so I get the info I need to get. Apparently the chain had debuted a Chicken Sandwich, which was available in regular or spicy. I didn’t see a single person who didn’t get spicy. I wanna be hip. I like chicken. The problem, though, is that I HATE Popeyes.

You see, a few years ago, there used to be a Popeyes behind my then-job, and it made me sick every time I ate there. Not to mention the chicken never really looked right. You know how *done* fried chicken looks? Yeah, it didn’t look like that. It was always kinda pale looking. Anyway, that helped to reshape my chicken eating habits. Growing up, I always said I liked KFC’s chicken, but Roy Rogers chicken skin. I always wished there was some way to merge the two. Then Roy Rogers disappeared for about 20 years, so then I was pretty much just left with KFC.

When it comes to the chicken sandwich, however, there’s one chain that reigns supreme: Chick Fil A. Yeah, we all know about their politics, and they’re terrible, blah blah blah. But they sure make a damn good chicken sandwich. It’s the reason why so many people are conflicted: “My sister’s gay, but GODDAMN is that a good sandwich! Sorry, Christy.” So, in our new era of wokeness, everyone has been wanting that same experience, without all the guilt. Some will say “Wendy’s has a Spicy Chicken Sandwich that’s just as good!” No, they don’t, and you’re just playing yourself. Whenever a new chicken sandwich hits the streets, the Left (yeah, it IS a partisan matter at this point) can’t wait to see if there are guilt-free chicken sandwiches ahead for them. And there never are. You see, people are so desperate to replace those hate mongers, but they don’t realize that hate is their secret, tasty ingredient. Everyone knows it, but they can’t bear to admit it. I mean, that’s GOT to be it, right? Other than that, it’s just chicken and peanut oil. It’s not like there are 11 secret herbs and spices. Nope, gotta be the hate.

Anyway, I got sidetracked there. So, the Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich is a large boneless breast of chicken, on a plump brioche bun, accompanied by thick pickle chips and a reddish Cajun sauce. Sounds good to me! So, I went to the Popeyes nearest my job for lunch yesterday, and placed my order for this thing all the cool kids were raving about. I, then, proceeded to eat it in a parking lot in a safer neighborhood, ’cause this place is dangerous! What did I think? OVERRATED. I pretty much only tasted bun and pickles, which is odd because there was a sizable piece on chicken there. It was very crispy, but almost at the expense of juiciness. I can’t say it was “dry”, but it wasn’t exactly juicy and succulent. It’s certainly a filling sandwich, and I didn’t feel like “Huh, I could eat another one of those” when I was done. Still, I came here for the full chicken experience, and not just a brioche bun. I’d go to Panera if I wanted that. The chicken didn’t have much taste to it, while the bread and pickles were the only things that had *flavor*. Meanwhile, I thought the Cajun sauce would be doing the heavy lifting, but it’s just there, as a runny, mayo-based sauce. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I don’t think it’s exactly the King of Chicken Sandwiches. Not yet, at least. Still, nobody has cared this much about Popeyes on social media since we were all trying to decide who that Black chick was supposed to be in their commercials (does she own a franchise? Is she Mrs. Popeyes? Who IS she?!). That’s why the Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich had the West Week Ever.

 

19th Jul2019

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 7/19/19

by Will

Howdy! I take so many breaks that I’ve run out of clever ways to announce my return. I swear this is supposed to be a weekly thing, but it’s been a little over a month since I last wrote something. I’d say that nothing really happened in pop culture during that time, but it wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is that I didn’t really want to talk about what was happening in pop culture. There’s been a shift lately, and I don’t like what I see.

On the one hand, you’ve got the political stuff, which just seems to get worse by the day. Just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. I don’t really do a lot of politics here anyway, so there’s no real value about talking about kids in cages. You already know about that, and you’ve already made up your mind as to how you feel about that. On the other hand, though, there’s a HELL of a lot of regression going on. There’s this retro movement that I can’t really get on board because, if we’re being honest, a lot of that stuff was really bad. I get why it’s happening: things are so bad now that you’d rather retreat back to a simpler time when things didn’t seem so bad (Psst! We were in the middle of the Cold War, and Radon was threatening to kill you in your sleep every night you laid down your little head). I get that whole “safe haven” approach, but it’s become something of a crutch. A lot of folks are going so retro that they have no real ties to the present, and that’s dangerous.

On top of that, it feels like there’s some unspoken competition to see who has the most raging nostalgia boner. It started out as posts about Ecto Cooler, but somewhere along the way it has evolved (or devolved) to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone tweet “I traveled back in time and sucked New Coke out of Mac Tonight’s dick while ‘Sledgehammer’ played on my Pocket Rockers.” It has gotten THAT bad. If you don’t realize it, then you’re in the thick of it, and part of the problem.

Now, a lot of this comes from the place of me not being able to relate, as I don’t have a soft spot in my heart for a lot of the stuff folks hold dear. So, when something like Stranger Things comes along – a property that relies on the nostalgia of an age I’d prefer to not relive – I’m just left thinking “Come the fuck on! There are important things that need your attention.” But that presents another problem: not everyone needs to worry about the “important” things because many of them aren’t informed enough to weigh in. So, my whole stance the past month was basically “I can’t make you care, but I sure as Hell don’t feel like playing into Little Mermaid race hysteria when it all seems so stupid.”

Also, there are various versions of the above meme floating around social media which I just find to be abhorrent. Sure, your dad used to beat you, and your mom had a drug problem, but it’s the fact that you didn’t watch ThunderCats that your childhood sucked. Got it. That’s the problem with nostalgia: the oversimplistic notion that everything was right in the world because these random things existed. If that’s all that equated a “great childhood” to you, then you’re a lucky SOB.

There is a problem with living in the past. Things change, people change, the world changes. Take music for example. I strive REALLY hard not to be that “Music sucks nowadays” guy. There is still good, NEW stuff out there, even if you have to work a little harder to find what you like. I don’t want to get stagnant, even though age and life would like to say otherwise. Nostalgia is the easy way out. And it may make you feel good, but it also, somewhat unknowingly, disconnects you from the present. Everything is fine in moderation, but from what I see online, “moderation” is a concept that 2019 stabbed through the heart.

Anyway, this isn’t a “subtweet” about any particular person or site. There’s just too much goddamn retro/throwback stuff. Some do it better than others. All I’m saying is I’m seeing more of the past than of the present, and I know there’s some good, modern-day stuff out there so I’m going to try really hard to find it and bring it to this column. Fondly looking back on the past every now and then is fine, but stop using nostalgia as a crutch. Life was not necessarily better just because Knight Rider and ALF were on the air. There’s a great episode of Teen Titans Go! that kinda slams things like the aforementioned Stranger Things in its title alone: “Nostalgia Is Not A Substitute for An Actual Story”. Words to live by.

So, I saw Spider-Man: Far From Home a few weeks ago, but it was the first MCU film in years that I didn’t see on opening night. Maybe back to Thor: The Dark World? Anyway, I really enjoyed it, even though I’m burnt out on the MCU. There’s pre-Endgame and post-Endgame, and the world seems a bit less magical post-Endgame. I don’t have a ton of gripes about it, except for the fact that it does not, in fact, set up the multiverse. I mean, I don’t doubt that there is one, but this movie was sold as “The Snap introduced the concept of the multiverse”, and that was not true. Plus, I need to watch it again because the end credits (not the mid credits) scene kinda changes how you look at the movie. It answers some questions while posing a few others. I love the actors and the characters, though, and I don’t really have many fanboy nitpicks about the film. I may have been more passionate about it 2 weeks ago, but that’s the stuff of hot takes, so I’m glad I got to sit on it a bit before writing about it.

Diddy (is that what he’s going by this week?) announced on Instagram that music reality show Making The Band would be returning. If you don’t remember, the show gave us such chart-topping acts as O-Town and…O-Town. In fact, there were 2 eras of MTB: The original ABC/MTV version, produced by Lou Pearlman, which saw the creation of boyband O-Town, and then the Diddy/MTV version, which gave us hip hop group Da Band, R&B male group Day26, solo artist Donnie Klang, and girl group Danity Kane (There must’ve been some contractual thing that every group had to start with “D”). Looking at that list, I think you can figure out which era was more successful. So, excuse me if I’m not too excited to see what Diddy’s got cooking for this revival.

Elsewhere in the TV world, it was announced yesterday that next season would be the last for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.LD. As one of the biggest cheerleaders of the notion of “Guys, this show is really in the MCU!”, I have to say that it lost me when it refused to acknowledge the events of Infinity War/Endgame. Yes, I understand that they weren’t sure when ABC was going to air this season, but that’s not good enough for me. In a perfect world, this season of S.H.I.E.L.D. would have been set during the five year post-Snap world. It would’ve been interesting to see S.H.I.E.L.D. as the main line of defense in a world that has lost all hope. Instead, they decided to do their own thing, thereby establishing a different timeline for the show. So, as far as I’m concerned, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ended last season, with Coulson and May on the beach together. I haven’t even given it a chance since then because, good or not, I’m a guy who only likes to invest in things that “matter” in the grand scheme of things, and AoS no longer fits that description.

Speaking of shows ending, it caught me by surprise a few weeks ago to learn that the episode of The Amazing World of Gumball that I’d just watched was actually its series finale. To make matters worse, Cartoon Network had failed to promote it as such. I only realized it after the creator tweeted some art, thanking the crew, and a little Googling later, I found out that was it. The End. I figure, considering that Gumball is about 40% of their schedule, Cartoon Network can’t really afford to make it known that there’s nothing left in the tank. Still, while people complain (rightfully so) about Cartoon Network’s scheduling practices, I stand by the opinion that Gumball was one of the smartest shows on television. There’s a great episode about privilege and the “glass ceiling”. There’s a scathing episode about homeschooling flat earthers. There’s even a House of Cards parody. For all of its wackiness, there was a lot of heart and intelligence in that show. The episode “The Choices” is just as emotional as the opening of Up! It also doesn’t help matters that the episode was a cliffhanger, insinuating that something bad was headed to the town of Elmore. There are talks that a movie might happen, which would tie things up, but I’ve learned not to put much stock in the “wrap up movie” promise. So, let’s pour one out for Gumball, Darwin, Anais, Mr Dad, and Nicole. May you forever live on in reruns.

Out in the toy world, we got our first looks at 2 high-end products that require fan input to make them a reality. For those not in the know, Hasbro has a concept called HasLab, where they run a crowdfunded, Kickstarter-like model to fund products that wouldn’t normally make it to stores, either because of size or price point. The first HasLab item was the Star Wars Jabba’s Sail Barge, which clocked in around $500. Despite that price, it was pretty popular amongst Star Wars toy collectors. Well, last week, Hasbro debuted the next HasLab item, which took folks by surprise: a $300 Cookie Monster doll. While it seems they’ve nailed the googly-eye tech, it’s surprising that there aren’t any animatronics given the price tag. As you can probably imagine, this didn’t sit well with “hardline” toy fans, so they had their day this week, when Hasbro also revealed the Titans scale Transformers Unicron, which will cost about $575. That mother is HUGE, and most of my timeline is all “I wish I could afford it…” There’s even a hole on the back in which I’m CERTAIN some fans will be inserting their penises. However, as I said on Twitter, for $575, I’d be disappointed if you DIDN’T fuck it!  I’m just glad HasLab focuses on properties I don’t care about. It’ll be a different story when they’re like “Here’s a 6″ scale Avengers Tower.” Then you’ll see me on the news, after I’ve robbed a check-cashing joint.

Trailer Park

The King’s Man

Originally called Kingsman: the Great Game, this is the prequel to the Kingsman franchise, and I’m pretty excited. I loved the first movie, though still haven’t watched the second. This one, however, seems to be playing it more straight than the past 2 installments, as I don’t see the same brand of humor in it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though, as some of the humor was really distracting in the first one (the whole bit about Eggsy “buggering” the blonde at the end comes to mind). Not sure I’ll see this one in the theater, but we’ll see.


Legend of the White Dragon

Former Power Ranger Jason David Frank just can’t give up the ghost, so here he is, trying to fund a Kickstarter for what’s basically Mighty Public Domain Rangers. It was one thing when it was just JDF, but now there’s a cottage industry of former Rangers who just can’t seem to shake the morpher. And they’re ALL in this film. Now, I don’t do Kickstarters anymore because I’ve been burned too much, but I’ll definitely watch this if it’s funded. It’s apparently a “movie”, but I’ll bet it’s one of those things that’s gonna clock in at an hour when all is said and done. That’s not a movie. That’s a “special”. If a movie is an LP, this thing will be an EP.


Teen Titans Go! vs. Teen Titans

Yeah, I know this was teased at the end of Teen Titans Go to the Movies, but I’m left wondering: Who’s this for? I find there is very little crossover between audiences for both shows, and this certainly isn’t the “return” that Teen Titans fans were expecting. If I were a fan of the original Teen Titans show (which I’m not), I’d kinda find this whole enterprise offensive. Hell, as a fan of Teen Titans Go! I find the whole thing offensive. I also find it interesting that it’s straight to DVD. It’s not like it’s worthy of a box office release, but considering it is the “return” of that incarnation of the team, I figured DC/WB would’ve found some special way to debut it. I no longer buy those DC direct to DVD movies, so I don’t know how I’m ever gonna see it unless Cartoon Network decides to air it one Saturday (which wouldn’t be that much of a surprise).

Jay & Silent Bob Reboot

“Daddy, put me in a movie! A real movie. Not some shit like Yoga Hosers!” Man, I’m old enough to remember when Harley Quinn Smith was born, and now she’s in her dad’s vanity project. It’s funny how all the “stars” from the last Jay & Silent Bob movie are has beens now. I guess that’s the joke, huh? And please don’t make me have to look at 2019 Shannon Elizabeth! See, this is what I was talking about earlier, about digging up the past! Anyway, I’ll see it, but not in a theater unless I somehow decide to try to go to that traveling roadshow thing they’re doing.

Top Gun: Maverick

Does this movie hold the record for longest amount of time between sequels, featuring the original star? It’s GOT to, right? Anyway, I have no real affinity for the original, but this kinda got me curious. I always thought Top Gun 2 was gonna be about Maverick instructing the next generation of flyboys. Instead, it’s just about some 50 year old dude who doesn’t know how to land the plane. I guess you’d pretty much have to see this one on the big screen, with all the planes doing plane shit and stuff.

CATS

Um, so many confusing and conflicting emotions inside…

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Netflix has decided to remove the controversial suicide scene from season 1 of 13 Reasons Why, which I guess would be 1 reason why I’d not want to waste my time watching this series, seeing as how that’s what the whole thing is about.
  • Comic writer/artist/Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld will be doing a G.I. Joe Snake-Eyes comic, so queue up all your “He can’t draw feet” jokes!
  • “Mumblecore” screenwriter Greta Gerwig is reportedly writing Margot Robbie’s Barbie movie that’ll never be made.
  • Controversial country star Lil Nas X came out as gay to cap off Pride Month, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who knew that he was kicked off Twitter back in the day for violating the terms of service with a Nicki Minaj stan account.
  • Hasbro is apparently preparing to reboot the Power Rangers movie franchise with an entirely new cast from the one that starred in the underperforming 2017 outing.
  • Black UK actress Lashana Lynch will reportedly play 007 in Bond25, which will require Daniel Craig’s James Bond to come out of retirement. And the folks, of course, are losing their shit. Or so the Russian bots would lead us to believe!
  • Call up your alcoholic uncle, because his favorite show, Nash Bridges, is being revived with Don Johnson for USA Network!
  • Someone needs to rein in America’s White Trash Food Scientists as, between Burger King’s $1 tacos and KFC’s Cheetos Sandwich, the nation’s colons don’t stand a chance!
  • This is 5 years old, but I just discovered it yesterday, so now you have to join me on this adventure:

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in an ICE cage), then you couldn’t get through this week without coming into contact with the FaceApp. Somewhere, on one of your social media feeds, you saw someone laughing along to a pic of them looking like some elderly ghoul. I say that because nobody looked *good*. I hate to break it to you, but you’re all gonna age poorly, looking like Miss Jane Pittman. I didn’t join in the fun because it just seemed too…easy. You’re just letting this random ass app access your photo for…what? To see what you’d look like as a baby? I already have baby pics for that. To see what you’d look like as a woman? Yeah, I’m not about to catfish anybody any time soon. So, it certainly didn’t come as a surprise to me when it was revealed that the app was developed by our good friends, the Russians.

Wireless Lab is the Russian company that created the app, and Lord only knows what’s going to happen from that. It’s been reported that it accesses your entire camera roll and not just the pics you’re editing. And take a gander at the terms of service:

You grant FaceApp a perpetual, irrevocable, nonexclusive, royalty-free, worldwide, fully-paid, transferable sub-licensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, publicly perform and display your User Content and any name, username or likeness provided in connection with your User Content in all media formats and channels now known or later developed, without compensation to you. When you post or otherwise share User Content on or through our Services, you understand that your User Content and any associated information (such as your [username], location or profile photo) will be visible to the public.

Some folks thought the app would be used to hone facial recognition software, but this seems far worse. You’ll notice I haven’t included any pics with this entry. Yeah, I’m not gonna be a party to that. I’ve been pretty vocal about the fact that I don’t believe in privacy. It’s why all my screennames are my real name. Anyone can get anything they want about you if they try hard enough. I recognize this, but I’m not going to make it easy for them. We live in a world where folks will record an entire sex tape on their phones, willingly give access to the camera to a random ass app, and then get surprised when their sex tape “leaks”. Not so good at the math, are we? We complain about “privacy”, but we have open mics in our homes just to turn on the lamp ’cause, well, “it’s way over there”.

A friend online mentioned that there are other apps with far worse ToS than FaceApp, but that they weren’t getting nearly as much attention. That may be true, but that doesn’t make it right. Plus, the other sites probably give you an experience to make it worthwhile. I always say Michael Jackson got off all those years because he gave the world Thriller. Same situation here. Facebook’s ToS are pretty bad, but it at least allows me to stalk strangers and look at pics of my enemies’ ugly kids. To me, there’s a worthwhile trade-off there. Not with FaceApp.

If there’s a pic of me floating around out there it’s because someone uploaded one, but it sure as Hell wasn’t me. If the Russians want my secrets, they’re gonna have to do it the old fashioned way: get me into a motel room, and film me being peed on by one of their whores as a means of extortion. It won’t be from FaceApp. Still, can’t knock the hustle, so that’s why FaceApp had the West Week Ever.

Also, before we wrap up here, this week marks the 16th anniversary of the site. While I know that absolutely none of you have been along for the ride all 16 years, I appreciate each and every one of you who has jumped on along the way. If we’re being real, it only got “good” about 10 years ago, but there’s some good H&M drama in the early days if you’re into that sort of thing. Either way, this started as a means to pass the time when I got my first boring ass job. And here we are, many boring ass jobs later, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. Sure, I’ll take the occasional break – either when pop culture fails to produce OR I fear I’m about to burn some bridges – but I always come back. As long as there’s at least one of you out there, I’ll always come back. And probably even after that last one of you gives up. This is because I don’t know how to quit. So, this is my way of saying you’ll never be rid of me. Muhuhahahahahahahaha! But seriously, thanks for giving me something to look forward to every Friday.

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