25th Nov2004

Harry Gregson-Williams Is My War Soundtrack

by Will

This goes out to all my serious gamer friends (Tarek, Austin, James, Davis…I’m looking at you guys!).

So, I’ve always said, “If you want me to go to war and kill for my country, you’d better have the theme from A) Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty or B) the Justice League playing in my helmet.”

Sounds stupid? Maybe. You can have your Taps & your Star Spangled Banner; in my opinion, there are no two songs that instill a greater sense of duty and honor in me. It may sound crazy, but if you’ve ever seen the opening sequence to MGS2, then you know what I’m talking about.

If you’re familiar with the work of Harry Gregson-Williams, then you’ll know he’s a composer who’s used to garnering emotional response in unusual places. After all, he composed the score for Team America. No, not the songs, but the background music. Remember the “Dicks, Assholes, and Pussies” speech at the Film Actors Guild gala? You probably weren’t listening to the music, but that was him. Say what you will about that movie, but you KNOW you were moved by that scene (Guess who I’m looking at now, Shorty).

So, if you’re still sitting there, thinking, “Will has finally lost his mind”, then I’ve got two things to say to you: 1) If you saw Marion Barry sing karaoke in a gay bar, you’d be questioning your sanity, too and 2) PLEASE download the Metal Gear Solid 2 theme or “Metal Gear May Cry”, which is an AWESOME remix of the MGS2 theme and the them to Devil May Cry.

After you’re done, I’ll meet you down at the enlistment office. What’s that you say? We’re in the middle of a war?!! Well, fuck that noise then. I’m gonna go watch “Platoon” or something…

18th Sep2004

Well, I Know How To Pronounce “Ryu”

by Will

I can be such an inappropriate dork, but sometimes I just can’t help it..

Today, a girl came to the register, and as I swiped her card, I noticed her name was “Xiaxou”.

“How do you pronounce that?” I asked.

“ZI-zoo,” she responded.

“Now, I know!” I exclaimed.

She looked at me funny.

“Well, ya see,” I explained, “there’s this video game character whose name is spelled the same way, and I’ve been trying pronounce it for years…”

She looked at me, uncomfortably…

“…Tekken,” I stammered. “The game is ‘Tekken’…in case you were wondering. Well, have a good day…”

“…thanks…” And she quickly walked away. Actually, she performed a 16-hit combo on me. THEN, she walked away…

Oh well, at least I learned something 😛

03rd Jun2004

Free Cartoons and My Tribute To Carmen Sandiego

by Will

My new favorite site is http://tv.yahooligans.com !

It’s a site for FREE CARTOONS!!! It sucks on dial-up, but it’s worth it for the “Super Mario Bros. Super Show” alone! I forgot how great that theme song was.

Another show on the site, with an AMAZING theme song is “Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego”. And I’m not talking about the gameshow. The cartoon, along with “G.I.Joe The Movie”, has the distinction of containing an entire saga in the opening montage alone. The initial 30 seconds tell a story by themselves. But they might need to edit out the WTC in the background. Even Carmen’s not THAT much of a bitch…

Speaking of Carmen, remember the Pre-Doom and Pre-Quake days, when the Carmen franchise was the biggest thing on the PC? I really miss those days. I caught that ho in the world before I caught her in the US. I mean, c’mon, I wouldn’t even know Reykjavik existed if it hadn’t been for that wench. Even so, the US ain’t as easy to navigate as some might think. A two-bit crook could blend in mighty easily out there in Oklahoma or Minnesota, and that’s usually where Justin Case and Carmen liked to hide. You’d get too close, and they’d fire a slingshot at you. A SLINGSHOT!! Can someone remind me why we were so scared of Carmen Sandiego?!!! A chick in a Fedora, and the world is shitting bricks. I guess that’s a testament to the power of a strong, assertive woman.

26th Apr2004

Shopping Spree & Newport Cameos

by Will

Today’s Episode: “Will That Be Credit or Debit?” Episode #04102226

Special Guest Stars: Kea Dupree, Alex Cowan

Cameo Appearance: Beth Don

So, today, I was a bad boy. Mommy’s in NC with Mr. Earle for a funeral, so I’m Kevin McCallister for the moment. I didn’t really want to be home, even though I have some MAJOR cleaning to do. I’ve been sleeping in the guest room since December ’cause my room is so junky!

Anyway, I didn’t want to stay in, so I decided to go out…in the rain…shopping. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I really wanted to buy stuff. It’d make me feel better. Plus, I worked over 85 hrs during the past week and a half, so it’s not like I couldn’t afford it right now. I’ll just be regretting it later.

So, ever since being introduced to Death Cab for Cutie, I’ve really been hooked. Since they’re a fairly new group, the collector in me took over, and I’ve been trying to track down every album. Anyway, I’ve been a real music mood, so you can see where this is headed….

I’m just gonna list where I went and what I bought. That’ll give the best picture of my adventures.

CD/DVD Exchange:

Elton John – Live in Australia

Elton John – Two Rooms

Starship – Knee Deep In The Hoopla

Baywatch – Hawaiian Wedding DVD

Tower Records & Videos:

Elton John – Greatest Hits 1970-2002

Elton John – Remixed

Death Cab for Cutie – You Can Play These Songs With Chords

Death Cab for Cutie – We Have The Facts and We’re Voting Yes

Westlife – Turnaround

Rufus Wainwright – Want One

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Season 1 DVD

Gamestop:

Star Trek – Federation Gift Pak

Borders Books & Music:

Something Corporate – North

Blender, May 2004

EB:

The Punisher DVD

So yeah, spent a LOT of money. Kinda having the Buyer’s Remorse….

I completed the Death Cab collection, but I’m also on this Elton kick. He is AWESOME! I completely blame Courtney for this ’cause she had his greatest hits playing ALL DAY yesterday! After awhile, that stuff is just gonna seep in.

So, I think I saw Ethan’s mom when I was at Gamestop, but since I didn’t really confirm whether or not it was her, we’ll just give her a “cameo” credit.

While at White Flint, I ran into Ms. Kea, AKA The “Dolly” to my “Cornelius” (Newport kids’ll get that reference). She’s just as cute as ever. It was great seeing her, but I felt so inadequate seeing as how she’s practically working 4 jobs right now! She’s really on the ball. It’s actually kind of motivating. It was good to catch up with her and find out the whereabouts of some other Newportians.

On the way home, I’m minding my own business, reading my Blender, on the Metro. Suddenly, this tall White guy in a cowboy hat and leather jacket stumbles into the car. I look at him, wondering, “Who the hell is this guy?” I look closer and realize it’s Alex! I haven’t seen him in years, but he’s the same Alex I remember and love. He scanned the car, and he looked at me, but didn’t recognize me. I decided to wait and see if he’d notice me. He sat down a few rows up, and just waited for his stop. He took off his hat, and there was a chunk of hair missing on the side. Don’t folks! This wasn’t the result of an accident. This was a statement. He always did have a way with fashion. So, he gets up for his stop, and I call out his name. He kinda hears it, notices me, and is shocked. He stumbles over to me and we talk, but he has to get off. I told him we’d hang out soon since I’d been hanging with his sister recently.

I swear, everyday, there’s another person I never thought I’d run into. It’s almost like I’m being set up. But it was still awesome to see them both. And great spending ALL THAT MONEY 🙂

25th Sep2003

And I Thought Dead Gangsters Were The Only Things Buried In The Desert

by Will

In 1982, Atari put all of its financial weight into production of the E.T. video game. Now, keep in mind that this was during the time that Atari was no longer the Big Boy on the Video Game block; some dirty plumber was about to have a billion dollar ‘shroom encounter. Anyway, this game did not nearly as well as expected, causing Atari to bury over a million cartridges in the New Mexico desert?!!! Don’t believe me, check this out: http://www.snopes.com/business/market/atari.asp

15th Aug2003

Hey, Paisanos!

by Will

Hey, Paisanos! It’s the Super Mario Brothers Super Show!

We’re the Mario Brothers

And plumbing’s our game

We’re not the the others

Who get all the fame

If your sink is in trouble

You can call us on the double

We’re faster than the others

You’ll be hooked on the brothers

Gimme, gimme, gimme gimme!

You’re in for a treat

So hold on to your seat.

Get ready for adventures and remarkable feats.

You’ll meet Koopas, the Troopas, the Princess, and the others

Hangin’ with the plumbers, you’ll be hooked on the brothers!

To the brink! Uh! Uh! Huh, huh, I said hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooked on the Brothers (the brothers, the brothers)!

Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it’s time to go. Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let’s do the Mario, all together now! You got it! It’s the Mario! Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it’s time to go. Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let’s do the Mario, all together now! Come on now. Just like that!

If you’re still wondering what this is all about, then go here:

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Maze/7907/super_show.html

06th Aug2003

It’s For Breakfast Now!

by Will

OK, i really need help. I couldn’t remember all the words to the Nintendo Cereal System commercial, so I called on my good friend, the Internet, to help me out. I now give you the musical masterpiece featured in the 1989 commercial:

Nin-ten-do

It’s for breakfast now

Nin-ten-do

It’s a cereal. WOW!

Nin-ten-do

Super Mario Jumps!

Nin-ten-do

In a Fruit Flavored Crunch!

So, I forgot the “doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doot” was replaced with ‘Nintendo”. Either way, I was pretty on-point in remembering a 14 yr-old commercial!

06th Aug2003

A Tribute To Nintendo Cereal

by Will

So, I’m sitting here, and all of a sudden the theme song to Nintendo Cereal comes into my head. Anybody remember Nintendo cereal? It’s bags were half the width of most cereal bags, so each box had two: one was Super Mario Cereal, while the other was Zelda Cereal. I always ate the Super Mario ’cause I hated the berry taste of the Zelda. Anyway, the song was basically the SMB underground song. You all know what I’m talking ’bout. “Doo-doo, doo-doo,doo-doot”. For you hardcore NES fans, it’s the song from most Level -2 stages.

So, I’m sitting here and I start singing “Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doot. It’s for breakfast now. Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doot. It’s a cereal, Wow!” I’m sure my coworkers must think I’m going insane, and they would be correct in that assessment. I would blame it on alcohol, but due to the pancreatitis, I won’t know the sweet taste of alcohol for the next 6 months! So, when you go out to the bars, drink one for me 🙁

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