04th Jan2013

West Week Ever – 1/4/13

by Will

oie_922142seDasWF9

I put all my thoughts and whatnot into yesterday’s post, so sit back for a mostly video post. If your job blocks YouTube, well, you’re out of luck. Read it when ya get home!

I guess they stopped stealing sunshine, because skin cancer. Well, Len’s back and singing about the joys of Toronto. The intro to this video is begging to be sent back in time and appended to the opening credits of an 80s sitcom. The rest of the video looks like some newsteam commissioned the song to make it look like they’re really all about the local community. Anyway, give it a glance:

 

This clip could be pulled by the time you read this, as the station is yanked all the footage. Here’s the deal: some independent LA channel hired Jamie Kennedy to host a New Year’s Ever special, which was clearly just a way to sell more ad time to Carls Jr. Anyway, the production values were terrible, the biggest stars were Shannon Elizabeth and Bone Thugs & Harmony. Nobody knew to bleep anything, so EVERYTHING was going out live. Oh, and the special ended with an onstage fight between partiers. Click it fast, ’cause it may not be here tomorrow:

I’ve really liked Jamie Kennedy ever since I read his autobiography. Sure, he’s not known for many successes, but he got a pacemaker at 19! Shit is crazy! And he seems like a normal, insecure, yet likable, guy.

I’m more excited for this than I have any right to be. Full disclosure: one of my favorite movie scenes in the last 15 years was the Stars of the WB (and Topher) poker game from Ocean’s Eleven. I really like when the 4th wall is broken, and I’m intrigued by which actors interact with each other, and what happens when they get together. Had they been playing characters in this movie, I probably wouldn’t care as much. I mean, I hate “end of the world” shit. However, the fact that they’re playing parodies of themselves, riffing on each other – that’s GOLD. Unless you’re one of those people who hates everyone in it. Fine, I’ll give ya Rogen and Hill, but everyone loves Robinson and Franco. EVERYONE!

 

I totally stole this from Jaime over at Shezcrafti.com, but I hope she won’t mind. This is AMAZING! I demand a full season an Adult Swim cartoon based on this.

 

This was awesome to me. I was a musical theatre kid, and I obsessed over Les Miz years before I finally saw it in London. Anyway, while there was singing at my wedding, I kinda wish we’d done this. Here’s my issue with it: roughly 3/5 of the guests were in on this. I’d have felt like shit if I attended that wedding and I was in the other 2/5. Sure, I’d hesitantly applaud, but I’d be all in my feelings, wondering, “What’s wrong with MY voice?”:

 

This is kinda cool. Just watch:

I think my favorite part of that whole video is seeing “Winston” plastered over everything. Man, to live in a world where all your entertainment was sponsored by either cigarettes or soap!

Anyway, that does it for this week. I’d remind you to enter Geeks For Tots, but I don’t even know what’s going on over there. I think it’s over. I dunno. You can still funnel money into my venture, Will’s World of Wonder!

And if you haven’t already, check out West YEAR Ever – 2012!

28th Dec2012

West Week Ever – 12/28/12

by Will

oie_922142seDasWF9

 

I wasn’t really sure if I was gonna post this week, but here I am – one year older, but not much wiser.

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Santa was good to me, as you can see.  No, I’m not crazy – “Santa” was ME. I found all these in the days just before Christmas and my birthday, and Lindsay wrapped them for me.

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She got me these items, as well as some nice and well-needed clothes. And please don’t start with the “Why didn’t you get the Blu Ray?” I’m not ready to upgrade my entire collection just yet. I wanted to keep things consistent!

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I also bought my first Transformer at retail in I don’t know how long. He just looked cool, and since I got his “predecessor” recently, I felt like this was a proper bookend piece.

Speaking of Santa, I’ve been thinking a lot about Die Hard. At the time of the first movie, Lucy and John Jr are still the right age to be doing the Santa thing. Now, if that’s the case, the Christmas depicted in the first movie would mean the jig was up. I mean, I’m sure they were glad their parents weren’t dead, but I’ll bet they also really wanted one of those Nintendos everyone was talking about. I’ve wondered before: at what point do the McClanes just stop celebrating holidays?

Ever notice how so many aspects of Christmas sound like drugs? “Yo man – I got that Kris Kringle, I got that Rudolph. You got the cash, I got that Good King Wenceslas!”

Got this from a Google+ pal (see, it IS good for something!): If you’re in the PA area, you MUST check this place out! It looks so awesome.

I wanna talk about Will’s World of Wonder. Someone recently asked me if I’m “still doing that”. The short answer is “yes” (and they clearly haven’t been reading these posts, where I pimp the site on a weekly basis). This is gonna sound like sour grapes, but here it is: I’m still selling, just as actively as ever. I just got tired of the hustle, especially when it wasn’t getting me anywhere. I currently sell on the site, Craigslist, and eBay. I made the decision to stop posting links on Twitter because it was really just spam. Twitter makes up almost none of my customer base. Plus, I felt like no one on there wanted what I was selling. I speak better in analogies: I’m Pepsi, but everyone keeps raving about how great Coke is – to my face, even. So, why continue the Cola War when I could just be Dr. Pepper? So, the store is still going strong, but at this point I figure everyone knows where it is and to check it at their leisure. And if you read West Week Ever, then you can always take the link at the bottom as your cue to check in and see what’s new.

Speaking of Cola Wars, I was recently introduced to Sarsi, which is a Coke product that’s essentially Filipino root beer. I have a Filipino godson, and his family is constantly introducing me to stuff I never dreamt I’d consume. Sarsi smells like licorice, which I hate, but tastes so much better. It’s like the Scotch of soda – you don’t guzzle it, but sip it. Nurse it. Think back to days gone by.

Last night, I had the pleasure of joining TimDogg98 and ClassickMateria for a Comic Book Chronicles episode of the Kliqnation Podcast. I’ll post a link when it goes live, but I’ll give ya a teaser: we discussed comics. What, you want more? Fine, more specifically, we discussed Amazing Spider-Man #700 and the events within. It was a great time, so I hope you’ll check it out.

Anyway, that does it for this week. Oh yeah, since the world was supposed to end last week, could we refer to every event going forward as “Post Crisis” now? No? OK. See ya in 2013!

21st Dec2012

West Week Ever – 12/21/12

by Will

oie_922142seDasWF9 It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! And I don’t know what I want. I’ve become a hard person to shop for, as I tend to just buy what I want, or I want something that’s really obscure. Right now, I’m working on a long-term project I’ll tell you about one of these days. If anything, I’d ask for stuff to help that out, but again, it’s really only the kind of thing I can do myself. Ooohh…vague!

I am so NOT in a Christmas mood. Between all the stuff in the world, and the fact that I feel like I just took down the last Christmas tree, the season just kinda snuck up on me. Anyway, I got awesome holiday cards from the folks at UnderScoopFire and from Claymation Werewolf, which helped to move me towards the Christmas mood.

Earlier this week, I professed my love for SiriusXM. On that note, two songs stood out to me as the Best of the Week: Courtesy of 70s 0n 7, here’s “The Best Disco In Town”, by The Ritchie Family. More than a medley, but not quite a mashup – this song perfectly captures every hit of the era.  

Here we have the SiriusXM exclusive of Colbie Caillat’s cover/mashup of The Script’s “Breakeven” and Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”. I’ve always felt that Colbie doesn’t get enough credit. She’s cute and talented, but she’s always on the periphery, like some kind of surf bunny Jack Johnson.

I made the mistake of jumping from the middle of Burn Notice season 2 to tonight’s 6th season finale, and I didn’t have a clue what the Hell was going on. When did the halfy from Third Watch join the team? I guess I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Gotta say, this whole “Miami A-Team” routine has really aged the group, especially Michael. Even his voiceovers sound old and tired. He’s starting to look like someone’s fit dad. Anyway, WHAT THE HELL DID MICHAEL DO?!!! I have to wait until summer?! olivia It turns out Pawn Stars fired Olivia because she used to be a Suicide Girl. Apparently, she used to be called Belladonna Suicide. There also happens to be a hardcore porn star named Belladonna. I swear, I have never had so much trouble finding porn online in my life. Anyway, I’m not surprised. I mean, she kinda had a stripper vibe to her, and they are in Vegas. To be honest, Suicide Girls is a little higher an echelon than I expected for her. I mean, it’s not like SG has a mansion, but they all have that “I’m a 25 year old Women’s Studies major (when I’m not working at Color Me Mine) because I took time off to travel with my boyfriend’s band” vibe to them. She doesn’t really exude that energy to me.

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While I write this, I’m also catching up on my backlog of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episodes. I haven’t really mentioned it, but I LOVE that show. Am I the only one who wants to hug Mikey whenever he’s onscreen? To be honest, up top I said I didn’t want anything for Christmas, but I want those friggin’ action figures. Foolish me thought they’d be around forever, and now they’re harder to get than plutonium. I did, however, luck into 2 of the Classics the other day, but Lindsay’s making me wait til Christmas to open them. Plus, they’re my two least favorite Turtles (Raph & Leo). Anyway, if you’d told me 20 yrs ago that I’d be asking for Ninja Turtles for my 31st birthday, I’d probably want to high five my future self. Young Me was too foolish to know how sad this is.

Did you donate to Toys for Tots this year? If so, don’t forget to enter Geeks for Tots. Funny story: I donated but forgot to take a picture.  It didn’t really seem appropriate, being a sponsor and all. Plus, the setting wasn’t right. Ya see, instead of a dropbox, I had a different scenario: a good friend of mine threw a birthday party for his son. Since the kid wants for nothing, they asked that we bring something to donate to Toys for Tots. Little did we know that 2 Marines would actually show up to dine with us and pick up the toys. It was a pretty cool event, but it meant no pic of me dropping an Elmo into a giant giftwrapped box. Yes, we got an Elmo. It wasn’t his fault! He thought Kevin was just hugging those boys!

Anyway, I hope y’all have a Merry Christmas/scrumptious Chinese food dinner, and don’t forget to read this week’s posts:

XM Marks The Spot

Thrift Justice – Taking It To The Next Level

And feel free to spend your hard earned money at Will’s World of Wonder!

14th Dec2012

West Week Ever – 12/14/12

by Will

oie_922142seDasWF9

So, I can’t say this has truly been the WEST week ever. Last week was good, so I guess I had this coming. I’m just not “feeling” the internet right now. Between all the Gail Simone bullshit, and the endless speculation over things that are 1-2 years away, it just gets tiring. Plus, I’m slipping into my whole “Why do I do this?” thing again. I mean, seriously, I could switch to only doing Thrift Justice posts, and I’d probably be more popular. We don’t do this for “fame”, but I kinda wish I got more out of it. I’m not entirely sure what I want, but this ain’t it. I don’t get invited  to the reindeer games of the blogging world. Starting to think I need a team or an umbrella under which to do things. Just sorta tired of feeling like it’s Me Against the Net, in a battle that only I’m aware of. Anyway, the show must go on, and all that jazz!

 

Here’s something cool I found the other day:

Apparently, Pentatonix won the 3rd season of The Sing Off. I totally forgot there was a 3rd season. Anyway, that was pretty cool. Nice to see they pulled it off. Back in college, there was a 6-person coed group called RL Six (say it fast, and you’ll get the “joke”), and the rest of us swore that you couldn’t get a great sound from just 6 people. If you had 6 guys, sure. 6 girls, maybe. But a 6-person coed group would be missing too many voice parts. Pentatonix pull it off with 5, though the chick is probably the weakest member.

pro2

Any of you kids of the 80s/90s remember ProStars? It aired on NBC Saturday mornings for a season, and it featured Wayne Gretzky, Bo Jackson, and Michael Jordan as a team of heroes who always helped kids who were in trouble. Lately, I’ve been watching it on THIS is For Kids (THIS is a free digital subchannel that probably hangs out near whatever channel is The CW for you), and it’s a shame it didn’t last longer so we’d just see the wheels fall off that concept. I mean, from what we now know about Jordan, he was way too much of an asshole to be a part of such an enterprise. Seriously, the show includes pretaped vignettes where Bo or Wayne describe the day’s episode. There’s pretaped stock footage of Jordan, but he’s usually shooting a basketball or saying something like “Stay In School”. He couldn’t even be bothered to record pertinent interstitials! I’d love a followup special, as Bo currently Knows Anonymity, Gretzky’s hot daughter is more famous than he is, and Jordan would’ve lost all of the ProStars tech to pay off gambling debts. I’m not really a sports guy, and I already asked this on Twitter, but who would be on a present-day ProStars team?

ritter

Someone on Twitter recently said that, in Pokemon terms, Krysten Ritter was the evolved form of Zooey Deschanel. I kinda agree, but I think there’s more to it than that. Just like Pichu evolves into Pikachu who evolves into Raichu, Zooey evolves into Krysten, who then evolves into Lizzy Caplan. If you’re curious as to why, ask me in the comments…

zooeycaplan

 

OK, so WordPress is being all weird, so I’ll wrap things now. Before I go, don’t forget to enter Geeks For Tots!

Also, check out this week’s posts:

Can We Talk About Gail For A Minute?

Thrift Justice – All Filler, No Thriller

Thrift Justice – We’ll Never Know What Might’ve Been

And if you wanna give me some money, or buy holiday gifts for the geeks in your life, visit Will’s World of Wonder!

07th Dec2012

West Week Ever – 12/7/12

by Will

It truly was the West Week Ever! First off, y’all apparently had no thoughts on the Chris Brown post. Or you didn’t wanna share them. Either way, I felt what I said needed to be said. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming of pop culture and toy talk.

So, this was on the side of a site I was visiting:

I can’t hit her! She’s a girl! Yeah, Chris Brown sucks, but this doesn’t really send a great message, either. She’s not even wearing protective headgear!

I was on a podcast that went live this week, thanks to the guys at UnderScoopFire! That intro may be the best thing I’ve ever heard, and I plan to somehow make it my outgoing voicemail message. I had a great time discussing the aforementioned Breezy situation, spoilers, Twitter and more! I had no clue I’d trigger the shitstorm that arose in the comments section, but that was fun, too. His words ONLY MADE ME STRONGER!!! Anyway, be sure to give it a listen!

-Anyone remember when voice-tracking was the greatest kept secret in radio? Not sure what voice-tracking is? OK, basically, it’s when a DJ records a bunch of non regionally-specific banter between songs so that it can be used in another radio market. So, your favorite afternoon drive-time DJ actually does nights on a station in Arizona with the same format. It used to be kept quiet because it’s the boogeyman of the industry. I mean, why bring attention to the fact that a station owner could save money by hiring fewer DJs to man their stations? Anyway, this is how The Kane Show airs in DC, as well as 5 other stations. Or how Rob Kruz does night work halfway across the country. Nowadays, they talk about it like it’s nothing. That’s an important development, almost like when WWE finally pulled back the curtain to show how they did chair shots and table smashing. I mean, you do what you gotta do, lest you end up with a JACK format (no DJs, so no jobs), but I’m still surprised by how brazen it has become.

Speaking of radio, I just spent an afternoon studying how War of the Roses is made. It’s all fake! Why can’t ANYTHING in “reality programming” be REAL anymore?! I mean, there’s no way they’d get permissions from both parties, but still! It’d come off as more realistic if they didn’t have 2 different ones per week. Anyway, I stumbled upon this article that lays it all out.

 

So, I found this video this week. If you’re not familiar with the artist, it’s Shannon Bex – also known as “the white girl who wasn’t Aubrey O’Day in Danity Kane”. Don’t know who or what a Danity Kane is? You clearly didn’t watch Making the Band. Anyway, I’d heard that she wanted to go country, but I’m perplexed by this video. I haven’t watched CMT in a bit, but me thinks there be too many folks of color in this clip. I mean, it shows she’s “hip”, I guess, but the whole exercise just comes off as stilted. Also, she needs to go back to her old look, as the blonde think just makes her look like every other country starlet trying to fill the Taylor Swift gap.

Finally, something cool happened to me in the last week, as I got the attention of one of the writers of Power Rangers. Not just any writer, but the guy who wrote the anniversary episode “Forever Red” – Mr. Amit Bhaumik. His story’s pretty interesting, as it seems that he started out as just a superfan writing fanfic. Next thing you know, he’s working on the real deal. Anyway, last week he was talking about the change in Jason’s (original Red Ranger) personality from his last appearance in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers to his return in Power Rangers ZEO. His character had been written out to go to an “international peace conference”, yet he came back like the conference was no longer an issue. So, I tweeted:

Shortly thereafter, I see this in my mentions:

He retweeted me! But that’s not all. Yesterday, I sent him the link to my Power Rangers theme post, and not only did he retweet that, but he also weighed in:

Look, I’m sorry I’m fanboying, but THIS IS A BIG DEAL TO ME! You’ve seen the Power Rangers posts! Anyway, that capped off my week on a good note.

I can’t go without mentioning Geeks for Tots. It’s a fun contest where you could win awesome prizes by donating to Toys for Tots. Some people resent the idea of “being rewarded” for doing a good deed, but you shouldn’t think of it that way. It’s a great cause, and you’ll be helping less fortunate kids to have a happy holiday season. Here’s an interview I did with the Geeks for Tots founder last year, and be sure to visit the site for more info. I’m not just a Geeks for Tots booster, but I’m also a sponsor. This is a VERY important weekend for the program, as the dropbox items will be collected soon. So, let’s get out there and put some smiles on some tiny faces!

Anyway, be sure to check out this week’s posts:

Comical Thoughts – When You’re A Spy…

Play It Again, Karone: A Look Back On 20 Years of Power Rangers Music

And feel free to buy something from me at Will’s World of Wonder!

30th Nov2012

West Week Ever – 11/30/12

by Will

Man, what a week it has been. I’ve gotten into a lot of Twitter beef this week. Whether it was about spoilers, Chris Brown, or the angry ladies of The Mary Sue, it has been a doozy! I’m not rehashing the spoiler stuff, but I was honored to be invited on to the Underscoopfire Podcast, so you’ll be able to hear my ramblings on it soon!

Chris Brown….so, I’ve been called a Chris Brown apologist, but that’s not the case. I just think people completely lose their shit when discussing him. It’s almost as bad as the folks who still call Michael Vick a “human piece of shit”. I say almost because Vick served his time, and you need to acknowledge that. There are people out here who are/treated worse than those dogs, and you don’t.give.one.shit. The problem with Chris Brown is that everyone expected some kind of social justice that never came to fruition. Folks hoped that Brown’s assault on Rihanna would end his career and send a message that such behavior won’t be tolerated. Instead, he’s more popular than ever, with the full support of “Team Breezy” turning every discussion of him into a “U Mad?” shitstorm. As Rod on The Black Guy Who Tips says, “People ain’t shit”.

I’m not on Brown’s side. I just don’t have the energy to stay mad at him. Hell, Rihanna doesn’t even care enough to stay mad. Now, we can get into the dynamics of “women return to their attackers all the time”, but it’s not my job to analyze that relationship. I simply don’t care. Because I don’t care, however, don’t expect me to side with you on shit that’s wrong. At the end of the day, Jenny Johnson was trolling Chris. She has a history of it, and has been doing it for over a year. Chris is just too dumb to realize he should keep his mouth shut. Had this happened to anyone else, folks would’ve gladly proclaimed it as trolling. For Brown, however, he apparently no longer gets rights because he’s no longer a human being. Whatever.

There’s also the flawed argument of “he never apologized!” BAM:

Now, we can discuss whether or not it was scripted by his handlers as a shrewd PR move, but the fact of the matter is that there was an apology that everyone has decided to forget. Once that’s produced, then it gets into “Well, he doesn’t act like someone who’s sorry.” What? Did people want him to join the priesthood? He answered all questions (that his legal team would allow) in the beginning, but that’s all people wanted to talk about. So, he got mad. Let’s get personal here – this may not apply to my geek friends, as we don’t really have a lot of skeletons; we weren’t popular enough in high school to get into any real trouble. So, this goes out to that one cool person reading this site: don’t you have something you’ve done that you’d rather not be reminded of every time you’re in public? Maybe you had an affair/drug conviction/rape charge/tax evasion/whatever. I’m not here to get into all that. Take your moment of silence, and think about that. Now, imagine trying to get on with your life, and that always coming up. What he did was atrocious, but I can also understand why he’s mad. And I feel like some folks take advantage of that because we all, deep down, know he’s not right in the head. Years ago, on this very site, before all this happened, I said he wasn’t right. So, that, then turns this into a matter of he’s sick and needs help, rather than he’s an asshole celebrity, right? Right?

I just feel like the digital pitchforks that people pick up whenever his name is mentioned aren’t really doing any good. If you feel bad about violence about women, get the word out, volunteer, DO SOMETHING. Twitter shit, however, is “slacktivism”. Jenny Johnson, while she might feel he’s a horrible person for what he did, just used you all to get famous. This was a lazy Sunday to her, that went viral. I wouldn’t be surprised if we hear about a book/TV deal in the next few months. Believe me, meetings are happening. You aren’t stopping violence against women. You’re just helping the next quarter’s entertainment cycle. At the end of the day, there’s nothing that Brown could do or say to make what he did OK. He has no humility, and he doesn’t act like a person who’s sorry for what he did. Hell, he doesn’t act like a person who’s thankful that he’s somehow still successful. I get it. So move on. I’m a person who has harbored a lot of grudges over the years, and that’s against people I knew. That shit gets you nowhere. Let’s all try to be more constructive with our anger in the future.

25th Nov2012

West Week Ever – Black Friday Recap Edition

by Will

Hey, better late than never, right?

-Black Friday was good this year, as we were foolish enough to brave Walmart and Gamestop after Thanksgiving dinner. Wemanaged to procure a TV we wanted from Walmart, and we went crazy on XBox games. I haven’t even hooked the thing up, yet I got about 6 games in 24 hours. At the moment, we’re the (somewhat) proud owners of Arkham City (GOTY Edition), Dreamworks Super Star Kartz, The Sims 3, Assassin’s Creed, Lego Batman 2, and Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Meanwhile, this is what we witnessed at Walmart:

I thought unstable molecules only existed in comics, but those leggings are defying all known physics. I’ve never seen a polyfiber work so hard. And she had the gall to go out in public like that!

 

-This is gonna come off as “racist” to some, so brace yourselves. Anyway, I think the shopper I hate MOST is Old Chinese Guy With Hands Behind His Back. Yeah, you’ve seen him. He’s usually wearing a cardigan, and he moves along at a snail’s pace, closely inspecting everything he encounters. He has no regard for those around him, as time holds no meaning in his world.

-I think the true testament of a boyband’s worth is how they handle ballads. I mean, really anyone can dance around to autotuned beats, but it’s the slow harmony that separates the boyz from the men. With that in mind, “Little Things” by One Direction proves that they’re nothing but shit. They are NOT the real deal. It sounds like someone listened to Howard Jones’s “No One Is To Blame”, but took out all the interesting parts. This saddens me, as I really thought this would be the boyband comeback. It was basically 10 years in the making, but this isn’t it. One Direction and The Wanted just aren’t strong enough to recreate the BSB/’NSYNC rivalry. Meanwhile, Big Time Rush is in the 98 Degrees slot: they were around first, but had to catch the boyband wave once others stepped up to the plate. Still, they haven’t really broken out as anything other than as a modern-day, poor excuse for The Monkees (mainly because of the TV show).

-What the Hell happened to OneRepublic? A group should grow with each release, but they become more and more a group that I despise. I think it’s because Ryan Tedder likes to rip off his own songs (Google the Halo vs Already Gone debacle). Their recent song, “Feel Again”, sounds like he listened to Florence + the Machine and said “Yeah, I can do that.” They already sucked on “Good Life”, which  became more unbearable once tourism bureaus and cruise lines started using it in ads. If you trace OneRepublic’s career from their debut with “Apologize” to what they’re doing now, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. They could’ve carved an interesting niche, but now it seems like they want to rest in the depressing cavern between Train and Coldplay.

This Week’s Posts:

Took An Arrow To The Knee

Let’s Talk About AvX, Baby

Don’t forget to check Will’s World of Wonder and this week’s eBay auctions!

09th Nov2012

West Week Ever 11/9/12

by Will

I find that I’ve compartmentalized myself into a corner. Now that everything has a heading (Thrift Justice, Comical Thoughts, etc), I don’t really have an outlet for just random thoughts. I feel like G.I. Joe, when Ninja Force and Star Brigade gave way to Battle Corps. Battle Corps was the basic line, but still had to be put in a “subset”! In the past, I’ve said that Twitter kinda killed these posts for me, as I just ramble over there even though I’m limited to 140 characters. Still, I don’t have an outlet to just talk about stuff going on unless I make a whole post about it. So, I feel like this will be a good platform for that.

It’s no secret that I loved Best Week Ever. I used to consider that my barometer of success: I’d know I’d made it if I got to become a pop culture talking head on a VH-1 show (I have low standards). I also love my name, as well as a good play on words, so I give you West Week Ever. I wanted to call it “Ashley Banks Is Week”, but I wasn’t sure anyone would get the reference (not only is that my favorite episode of Fresh Prince, but I also love that Tatyana Ali released an album around that time that tanked as hard as her fictional album). I also considered calling it Friday Chat, but that wasn’t flashy enough, plus I couldn’t guarantee I’d get any comments. Finally, I thought about Friday Monologue, but that was just a bit too “on the nose”. So, West Week Ever. That’s what it’s called. Random thoughts on Friday. Read, enjoy, comment. So, let’s get started!

So, there was an election this week. Let me start off by saying that I don’t care if you’re Democrat or Republican. You do what you gotta do. My issue is when people claim to dislike Obama because of “all the debt he’s leaving for our kids” when nobody gave a fuck about those kids prior to his presidency. When we were racking up debt from 2 wars! But I digress. If you honestly felt like Mitt Romney was the best choice for this country, fine. But if you were really grasping at straws to cover that fact that it really bothers you that Obama’s black, that’s when I have a problem. I kinda respect you more when you’re honest, even if your stance is deplorable. However, when you’re a 15 year old girl, upset that Obama’s “taking my money”, I think you’d better have a discussion with your shift manager at Dairy Queen, instead of worrying your little head about the national economy. Obama don’t give a shit about your overtime OR the fact that you covered Tori on register. I don’t need to see stuff like this from you.

Anyone been following the Ariel Winter situation? For those who don’t know that name, she’s Alex Dunphy on Modern Family. Allegedly, Ariel’s abusive mom caused her to be removed from her home. According to the mom, Ariel’s trying to be emancipated so she can live with her 18 year old boyfriend. Ariel is FOURTEEN. Talk about “getting in on the ground floor”! Sure, she’s cute and all, but what the Hell do they have to talk about? SHE ONLY KNOWS SEINFELD THROUGH SYNDICATION, FOR GOD’S SAKE!

It also seems that Brooke Burke-Charvet was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. As sad as that is, my biggest question was “When did she take David Charvet’s name?” She’d been “Brooke Burke” forever, and David Charvet is SUUUUCH a douche. I mean, I think he was the first douche I ever encountered. I knew that’s what he was before there was even a word to describe it. Plus, if you’re known as “the douche” on Baywatch (!), something is seriously wrong.

I am ALL ABOUT Girl Meets World. I wish there were a Kickstarter, as I’d actually contribute to it. I kinda wish Disney Channel would attempt to rebuild TGIF, and that would be a great show for it. I’m not sure if people have realized this, but TV has evolved to the point where TGIF-caliber shows already end up on either Disney or Nick. That’s So Raven, iCarly, Cory In The House – the producers, directors, and writers of those shows are the same folks who were behind Full House and the like. People laugh at the idea that I like iCarly, but those jokes are just as lame as the stuff we laughed at in 1992. If TGIF came out today, most of those shows would go straight to SNICK. Not even ABC Family, as it’s trying too hard to be The WB circa 1999.

Here are my thoughts on the show: I totally think Cory and Topanga could have a 14 yr old, as that show was never really great at following a real timeline. They went straight from elementary school to high school. Then the whole college thing got fuzzy once they got married. Did they drop out? Who knows? Anyway, I kinda hate that the show will be on Disney because it’ll never follow the outcome I mapped in my mind. Let’s take a closer look at Boy Meets World.

Cory Matthews was what is known as a “simp” (see definitions 12 and 25). He went from being an intriguing, sarcastic grade schooler to being a head over heels schmuck. Seriously, watch any of the later seasons and Cory might as well be a 40 year old man, constantly frightened by the world, and worried that he was gonna lose Topanga. The “jump the shark” moment of that relationship was when Cory stowed away on a plane to surprise Topanga at Disney World (remember when Disney bought ABC, and every TGIF had to do an episode there?). While this was pre-9/11, I STILL couldn’t believe that he would violate FAA regulations for his puppy love.

A picture of ShaPanga that I totally stole off someone’s Tumblr.

This is my long and drawn out way of saying that there’s next to no chance that Cory and Topanga are still together. I’ll go as far as to say that Shawn Hunter is probably the real father of that baby. I mean, his character just became pure white trash by the end of that show, but he was a ladies man, and there was a brief spark between him and Topanga back when she first got hot in high school. In a moment of weakness, she gave in to Shawn, and Cory being the simp that he is, took her back. Everyone knows that Shawn’s the father of Riley Matthews, but they just don’t bring it up (think early Nip/Tuck) for fear that Cory would go out like Lane Pryce. If Cory and Topanga ARE still together, that shit’s over once Riley and her brother go off to college.

Anyway, this’ll be on Disney Channel, so it’ll be all laugh tracks and brightly colored interior decorating. I just have two requests: 1) I hope Uncle Eric lives in the garage and 2) FEENY!