30th Nov2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/30/18

by Will

I took last week off ’cause it was Black Friday, and I know this site was the last thing on y’all’s minds. Gotta get them $199 PS4s! Anyway, that just means we’ve got twice as much stuff to talk about this week!

First, allow me to rant. Every time there is a celebrity death, the internet instantly becomes filled with tribute art to the person. Sure, the artists typically mean well, but a lot of it is very, very bad – sometimes just in poor taste. Stan Lee died a couple weeks back, and what did we end up seeing? Stan Lee at the pearly gates, Stan Lee being hugged by his creations, Stan Lee with his creations surrounding his hospital bed, Stan Lee with the MCU stars photoshopped into his funeral. You get the picture. The one that really got me, though, is the one above: Stan and his dearly departed wife, Joanie, reunited in space, wearing spacesuits. This comes off as some kind of secular desire to have an afterlife, but still trying to apply Earth logic to things. Why are they in space? Is that where you think “souls” go? Why are they in spacesuits? Shouldn’t they no longer have the need to breathe? Bottom line, I thought this was stupid. This was just stupid. And I said so when someone posted it in a Facebook group I’m in, with a bunch of crying emojis. And the floodgates opened!

Let me give you some backstory about this group. I’ve met some great folks in there, but it’s chock full of Brits who are constantly making fun of EVERYTHING. For example, you can’t mention people being offended by Apu, because “Everyone’s too sensitive”. Seriously, every serious conversation on there is derailed by a bunch of guys chiming in with “Well, they’re being cunts!” So, imagine my surprise when I found the limits of the rapscallions! So, I had to reply:

A few days later, a few of the same folks were laughing about that missionary who got killed by the tribe. You know the one. And, yeah, I have my issues with missionaries and all that, but if you’d seen some of the stuff they were saying, and LAUGHING at…And I’M the asshole for thinking somebody’s DeviantART space pic is stupid? Oh, hell the fuck no! It took everything in my power not to run back into that group and tear it apart like Jesus in the temple. So, I subtweeted with my own status.

So, imagine my surprise when the group founder commented on it:

That’s where it pretty much ended – until now. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Trump Administration, it’s the art of doubling down. And I’m here to say that a LOT of that fan art shit is stupid. Sometimes a beloved artist will do some, and maybe sell it and give the money to charity. Nice use of the moment. What I don’t like is Johnny Cash Grab who decides he’s going to throw together a shitty t-shirt to sell to capitalize on the moment:

But also, money isn’t everything. There’s a lot of FREE fan art out there that’s stupid. The minute SpongeBob SquarePants creator Steven Hillenburg succumbed to ALS earlier this week, I immediately asked “How long before the fan art of SpongeBob meeting Stan Lee?” And while it’s not exactly what I described, the Internet did not disappoint:

WHO IS THIS FOR?! But, “let people mourn how they want to mourn.” It doesn’t mean I can’t question it.

Trailer Park


Artemis Fowl

This just looks like Great Value Harry Potter to me, only he’s in the Men In Black now? I mean, if Harry Potter knockoffs are what’s bringing in the big bucks, I’ve been sitting on the Charlie Panner franchise for about a decade, and I need to talk to someone pronto! Yeah, I know it’s based on a book series, but I’m not 14, nor do I hang around any since the court case. So, I’m gonna need a little bit more from my teaser trailers. This? This was just meh.


The Lion King

OK, but WHY? I get it. It’s stunning, and it’s a beloved story, but we already have the original. I feel like those people who get upset when their favorite old property is rebooted. No, this one doesn’t mean that the old one doesn’t exist, but there are so many other things Disney could be doing with this money and technology. I feel like Disney is creatively stale, like they were prior to The Little Mermaid, and live action versions of their 90s hits ain’t really impressing me all that much. Still, I’ve never had the same love affair with Disney movies as some folks, so I guess I’m just dead inside. Nice job they’ve done here, though.


Once Upon A Deadpool

A PG-13 cut of Deadpool 2? Sure, it’s a cash grab, but I respect their hustle. Maybe it would’ve been cooler to have had this as a bonus feature on the Blu Ray, but if there’s theatrical money, and it fills a hole in Fox’s schedule, then do it. I still haven’t seen Deadpool 2, so I guess I’ve got homework before December 12th. And I kinda like Nickelback more than the Beatles…


The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

So this is the second trailer we’ve gotten for this movie, and it really wasn’t doing much for me until Rex Dangervest showed up. That’s cute what they did there. I mean, I’ll see it, but nothing about this is like “WOW, I CAN’T WAIT!” Plus, if you cast Tiffany Haddish, you’re only going to get “Tiffany Haddish”. Make sure that voice works with the character, ’cause if it doesn’t, then…you get this.

Runaways Season 2

This looks like the Freeformiest Freeform show that ever Freeformed – which is odd, since it’s NOT on Freeform. It’s like if Claire’s, Urban Outfitters, and Hot Topic decided to go in together on a TV production deal. I’m sure the teens and tweens probably love it, but I can’t see myself watching a single episode of this show – which probably why I never watched any of season 1. Plus, I don’t have Hulu, so…

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • ABC’s Sue Sue In The City spinoff of The Middle will not be going forward. It’s kinda sad, as I liked Eden Sher in the role, but I also felt like it wasn’t necessary, as The Middle gave a nice ending to her story. This show would’ve had to serve as an “Inbetwequel” to the ending the show had set up for her. This is probably for the best.
  • Speaking of ABC spinoffs, Schooled, the 90s-set AJ Michalka starring spinoff of The Goldbergs, will debut on January 9th. Oh, look -Tim Meadows is in the cast. Yup, this show is D.O.A.
  • In a somewhat surprising move, Netflix has cancelled Marvel’s Daredevil series. I’m gonna say this one more time, for the cheap seats in the back: DISNEY IS NOT PICKING UP THE CANCELLED MARVEL NETFLIX SHOWS! I’ve already explained the WHY, and I’m just tired of the same time armchair speculation.
  • I can admit when I’m wrong, and I once said that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t be around for Avengers 4, yet not only will it, but it’s been renewed for it’s seventh season before the sixth even launches next summer. I felt like the show was going to be the “connective tissue” of the MCU around that Winter Soldier/pre-Age of Ultron era, and then go away. Then it kinda distanced itself from the movies except when it couldn’t be explained away (due to the politics), and started doing its own thing. They say last season was great, but I’ll have to check that out for myself.
  • Country radio personality Bobby Bones won season 27 of Dancing with the Stars, which has fired off this outcry of how the show is “broken”. “It’s just a popularity contest now!” Um, EVERY reality show is a popularity contest, Doris!
  • Jon Cryer has been cast as Lex Luthor in Supergirl and, while I have no interest in watching that show, I don’t hate that casting. I don’t hate it at all.
  • Back in 2012, ABC aired a series called GBC, based on the semiautobiographical book Good Christian Bitches. Of course it didn’t last, as we’re not currently talking about the 7th season of GCB, are we? Well, The CW is developing a reboot of the show, and it will retain its original title. Man, there are gonna be SO many evangelical groups up in arms about this one.
  • It was a busy week for celebrity profiles, as one focused on the renaissance of Amanda Bynes (glad she’s not dead!), while the other focused on Lena Dunham coming to terms with the fact that she’s a bit much to handle at times.
  • There are rumblings of a revival of the 90s CBS series Northern Exposure, with most of the cast – including original star Rob Morrow – back on board. This is interesting, seeing as how most of the cast and crew reportedly hating working with Morrow. I guess they loved that money more than they hated him, huh?
  • There was a One Tree Hill Christmas movie on Lifetime that was NOT a One Tree Hill movie. WTF? Yeah, they cast about 60% of the One Tree Hill cast in The Christmas Contract, yet it wasn’t a One Tree Hill project. Who does that? That’s like if I brought in Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, and David Schwimmer and was like, “OK, in this show, you guys all work in a bar”…
  • Jerry Springer will be bringing original content to your syndicated airwaves next season, when his court show, Judge Jerry, launches. I’m not kidding. What bothers me is that his talk show fizzled instead of going out with a bang. Its best years were probably 20 years ago, but it still deserved more of a sendoff than it got. To me, this court show is just the Three’s A Crowd to his Three’s Company.
  • Even though Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse isn’t even out yet, Sony is reportedly developing an animated Spider-Women spinoff probably focusing on Spider-Gwen, or Ghost Spider, or whatever they’re calling her this week. I’ve got thoughts about Into The Spider-Verse, but you’ll hear more of them in the coming weeks.
  • Netflix is developing animated series based on the works of the “ORIGINAL J.K. Rowling” himself, Roald Dahl. Debuting in 2019, they’re set to be event series and specials.

  • Speaking of Netflix, they’ve announced a 10-episode order for a live action adaptation of the Cowboy Bebop anime, and this could either be the best or worst thing they could ever do. People love the Hell out of that series, and I can already hear the cries of “They’re whitewashing characters!” I only know two things: 1) they’d better cast Ben Schwartz as Spike (I’d also take David Tennant) and 2) the in-show bounty hunter series Big Shot better be worked into this version.

So I have this slightly narcissistic thing about me where I don’t listen to a podcast unless the hosts have had me on as a guest at some point or another. I just like having the ability to interact more than just yelling at the computer, and when I know the hosts, I can drop them a line, or even go on a future show to add to that conversation. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but that’s pretty much how my Stitcher playlist is designed.

Anyway, I had a long drive home from Richmond last weekend, and I was all out of my usual podcasts, having listened to them on the way down. I didn’t really feel like music, either, but I needed something to listen to. Then I remembered that a coworker had recommended Wolverine: The Long Night to me when he was trying to pitch the idea of audio books to me (I still prefer print). He said that this was more of a radio show than an audio book, but I might like it. What it was, actually, was a podcast that was a co-production between Marvel and Stitcher. Broken up into 10 chapters, all were available to listen to, ad-free, so my bingeing began!

Wolverine: The Long Night takes place in its own sort of timeline (which they’re hinting might expand into the Marvel Podcast Universe), so you can’t really place it in the movies or the comics. Some grizzly murders have occurred in the small Alaskan town of Burns, where everyone is hiding, or running from, something. The police are simply telling the public that the murders were committed by a grizzly bear, but could there be something more? Could the short, mysterious loner who just came to town be responsible for the deaths? Well, that’s what Special Agents Pierce and Marshall are there to find out. They are our “eyes” through the whole story, so we see everything from their viewpoint. We’re able to check in on other characters because of bugs that the agents placed around the town. Otherwise, you don’t know it’s happening unless Pierce & Marshall have somehow documented it.

Despite the title, the series is less about Wolverine, and more about how his mere presence has affected everyone in the town. We don’t “see” him much, but when we do, it counts. Meanwhile, there’s some other stuff going on in the town that could be connected to the murders. There’s the mysterious Aurora cult, who have come to the town to establish a base. There’s the wealthy Langrock family, whose money and generosity have kept the town afloat for years, but are they hiding something? As it should come as no surprise to anyone, all of these things overlap heading toward the conclusion of the story.

I really want to discuss this thing with someone else who’s listened to it because there are a lot of 3rd act issues with it. There’s a swerve that you saw coming a mile away, but it doesn’t go in the direction in which you thought it would have gone. Plus, because it’s in its own universe, things happen for which there’s no in-canon precedent. I don’t want to spoil it here, but if you have listened, give me a shout.

Wolverine is voiced by English actor Richard Armitage, who comes off sounding like an angry George Clooney – which doesn’t exactly sound like it fits on paper, but it surprisingly works very well. The rest of the cast is fleshed out by Scott Adsit, Bob Balaban, Brian Stokes Mitchell and more talented folks. I really didn’t know if I was going to take to the whole thing, but I got home with about 3 hours left in the story. I went down to the basement, and just listened to the rest like I was in the ’40s or some shit. What’s a “television”?

Would I listen to more like this? Sure and, as I said before, there are even talks of expanding this into a whole universe. I really enjoyed the experience, and it’s an engaging story. I’m not entirely sure it stuck the landing, ’cause that last episode…whoa. Still, of the experience as a whole, I give it an A, and as the best thing I experienced in the past week, Wolverine: The Long Night had the West Week Ever.

 

16th Nov2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 11/16/18

by Will

So, it’s been THREE WEEKS since I actually covered “pop culture” on here. And ya know? Ain’t a whole lot happened in that amount of time. I mean, I’ve been fighting to get my White House press credentials restored, but other than that things have been pretty lame. Sure, you may think there was news, but there really wasn’t. Let’s see what I can pick out this week, shall we?

So, I did something I haven’t done in a while: I watched a movie. At home! Lindsay went out to the store, and Evie was mesmerized by Ryan’s Toy Reviews on her tablet, but the TV was left on Megamind. From the beginning. Lucky me! Now, I know I’ve seen parts of it before on a plane, but I fell asleep on it, so that doesn’t count. Why did this movie bomb? I seem to remember it bombing. *checks Wikipedia* Yup, one of the lowest-grossing DreamWorks CG movies to date. That’s a shame, ’cause I really enjoyed it.

If you’ve never seen it, it’s Will Ferrell at his “hamiest”, voicing the supervillain Megamind. He and the hero Metro Man both crashed on Earth as babies, but they ended up with very different lives, despite growing up around each other. Jealous of the attention that Metro Man got from peers, Megamind eventually turned to villainy, and this cat and mouse game develops over the years. That is until Megamind goes too far in one of their battles, seemingly killing Metro Man. Now, without a foe, Megamind begins to realize that villainy really isn’t that fun – especially when he falls in love with reporter Roxanne Ritchi. Now he has to lead a double life as both Megamind and “Bernard” (the guy he’s disguised as when he dates Roxanne), while a new villain rises in Metro City. Will the villain become the hero? That’s all I’ll give ya, ’cause I really think you should see it yourself.

It was one of those rare times when I couldn’t identify the voice actors, and I don’t know if they took me out of it, or if it actually helped to pull me in. I mean, I was surprised to discover that Tina Fey was Roxanne, but even more surprised to find that Brad Pitt was Metro Man. Jonah Hill’s character? Totally thought it was Nick Swardson. So, cute movie, great cast. I’d recommend it. I am tired of seeing those Happy Meal toys at thrift stores, though…

Nothing convinced me of the fact that I’m simply not a Star Wars fanatic more than the news than came out over the past week. First up, there’s going to be a Rogue One prequel series on the Disney+ streaming service, starring Diego Luna reprising his role as Cassian Andor. Yeah, that’d be great if I didn’t already know how he dies. I don’t like prequels for characters who we’ve seen die because there are absolutely no stakes. It might as well be Star Wars: Cassian’s Root Canal. That’s how interesting that sounds to me. It’s always odd to me that fans love Rogue One and hate The Last Jedi when I had the opposite feeling on both of those movies. I don’t need gritty suicide missions in my Star Wars. I felt like every character in that movie was a cliche. That’s why nobody knows their names. Sure, there are fans who’ll get butthurt when you say that, and respond “It’s Chirrut Imwe!”, but I’m content just calling him “Blind Guy”, thankyouverymuch. Anyway, they were created simply to die, and die they did.

Plus, what is there to really do with Cassian? They’re gonna make him a lovable rogue who hates authority. Congrats, Disney: you’re effectively giving us Mexican Bootleg Han Solo! Anyway, I’m curious to know if there’s a version of Rogue One out there that I’d actually like. I mean, between reshoots and edits, what we got was an entirely different movie than the one they initially set out to make. Maybe that’ll come through on the series? I’m not sure, but I’m not the target audience.

Next up, they announced some casting for The Mandalorian, and again, I was unable to go from 6 to 12 from that news. Game of Thrones actor Pedro Pascal is reportedly going to be the lead in the series, but I’ve never watched Game of Thrones so that means nothing to me. Meanwhile, someone somewhere is going “Why they fillin’ up mah Star Wars wit’ Mexicans?!” Yeah, he’s from Chile, but the person saying that doesn’t know the difference between the two… Also, they announced that former MMA star Gina Carano had been cast. That’s the moment I lost all interest. Are we still trying to make her a star? Look, I’m sure she’d make a fine stuntwoman, but acting ain’t her strong suit. Has everyone forgotten how all her dialogue from Haywire had to be overdubbed?! Is she going to be a droid? Anyway, y’all have fun with The Force, but none of this is for me.

Trailer Park


Toy Story 4

Yeah, I don’t need this. Look, I know y’all love Toy Story, and I know it put Pixar on the map, but I’ve never really taken to this franchise. Yeah, go ahead and be shocked, but that’s how I feel when one of y’all tries to say that the first 10 minutes of Up do nothing for you. BASIC! Anyway, I know the last movie kinda served as a springboard for new adventures, but it doesn’t mean they have to show them all to us. It was enough to know that the toys got a new home and a new lease on life. I don’t need to watch Bonnie grow up, and then pass them on to some other kid like Andy did. They had a GOOD stopping point. Why ruin that? Oh yeah. Money.

Fighting With My Family

Huh. I never had any interest in this film until watching that. Sure, I love Nick Frost and Vince Vaughn, but I’ve never really cared much about Paige. I mean, when “the leak” happened, I ended up seeing way more of her than I ever imagined, but I’ve never cared about her wrestling. I know WWE is giving the women’s division more of a push these days, but I’m kinda cold on the company right now, plus Paige isn’t really in-ring talent at the moment. So, this won’t bring me back to wrestling, but I’d definitely like to see this movie.


Spies in Disguise

What the fuck is this?! Does Will Smith need money? Do we need to start a GoFundMe, or is he already on Patreon? This movie looks like it was spawned from those “Why can’t James Bond be Black?” thinkpieces, and then Hollywood got involved and was like, “OK, he can, IF he can also be a bird”. There’s this longstanding stigma in Hollywood that every Black comedian has to, at some point, don a chicken suit in some Stepin Fetchit attempt to make them less threatening to some White audiences. This is Will Smith’s chicken suit. Plus, I don’t care if Blue Sky made the Ice Age franchise – I’m commoner trash, so I want my animation from Disney or Dreamworks. Otherwise, GTFO!


Detective Pikachu

So, this is basically family friendly Ted, right? I mean, I can dig it. I’ve got a lot of questions about the world in which it’s set, but there’s already a built-in audience for this, considering Pokemon GO almost settled the Israel land disputes. Seriously, I was amazed when the entire world was playing it, and I’m still amazed that there are millions of folks still playing it undercover. I see you walking in that park! I know you don’t give a shit about fitness!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Apparently the title for the third installment of the Will Smith/Martin Lawrence cop franchise will be Bad Boys for Lif3. Huh. Why not just go the extra mile and replace “for” with “4”? Oh, and the “s” with a “z”? Bad Boyz 4 Lif3. There’s your edgy title!
  • Speaking of Will Smith, son Jaden may have come out as gay this week, as he told a festival crowd that Odd Future’s Tyler the Creator was his boyfriend. I’m not really surprised, as I always considered him gender fluid anyway. Plus, he’s weird Hollywood royalty, so you could tell me he’s in a serious relationship with a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and I’d be like “Huh. Nice choice.”
  • Netflix has cancelled The Good Cop after one season. Let me tell you, I had NO IDEA this thing was a cop drama starring Tony Danza and Josh Groban. I saw an ad for it, and I thought it was about a Black cop who doesn’t give a shit because he’s so close to retirement. Apparently that IS one of the characters, but he’s not the star. I actually wanted to watch that show.
  • Tom Cruise is done with the Jack Reacher franchise, as he is reportedly too short for the role. It’s not like it matters, though, because they’re refocusing it for television instead of movies, and Tom Cruise ain’t doing TV any time soon.
  • Fans won’t be saying “Happy Christmas” to The Doctor this year, as there will be no Doctor Who Christmas special for the first time in 13 years. Instead, however, there will be a New Years special, but fans already seem ready to start a war about this.
  • Since CBS All Access is really just CBS: We Have Star Trek So Please Give Us Money, there are reports that there’s ANOTHER Trek show being developed – this time, focused on Michelle Yeoh’s Star Trek: Discovery character, Philippa Georgiou. I still haven’t watched season 1 of Discovery, but every news story spoiled what happened to her character, so I’ll let you look up the details yourself.
  • 2019 is shaping up to be a banner year for STDs, as MTV’s Spring Break will make its triumphant return, along with a reboot of Temptation Island on USA Network.
  • Tim Tebow will be hosting a new competition show called Are You There, Jesus? Kidding. It’s actually called Million Dollar Mile, where it’s basically American Gladiators against professional athletes. Yeah, I think my show sounds better.
  • Malibu! Malibu! Malibu is on fire! We don’t need no water, let that motherfucker…Oh shit, there goes the Westworld set!
  • Alec Baldwin punched a guy over a parking space, but that’s basically a regular Tuesday for him.
  • Hey, remember how y’all hated Venom? Well, it still debuted at $111 million in China, as Sony’s biggest Chinese launch of all time. Oh, and it’s made $674 million globally. Yeah, we’re getting that sequel, and I ain’t mad.
  • Vanessa Bayer, formerly of Saturday Night Live, is developing Big Deal for Showtime, in which “a woman overcomes childhood leukemia to achieve her lifelong dream of being an on-air host on the Home Shopping Network. Huh. This just sounds like an SNL sketch. And not a good one. Apparently, Bayer did overcome childhood leukemia, and it’s nice to see she’s creating her own roles, as Hollywood is otherwise just gonna pigeonhole her as “perky best friend” in the rom-com genre.

So, I took last week off because it was a holiday weekend, but I gave a rare social media-only West Week Ever to my friend Mary Ann Borer. We “met” through a Facebook group a couple of years ago, and she’s become quite the friend of the site. So, imagine my surprise when she became the reigning Jeopardy! champion. She even went viral for her Sailor Moon salute. The Teen Tournament is currently going on, but I can’t wait for it to end so she can get back to kicking ass. So, for the record, last week, she had the West Week Ever.

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’m not going to eulogize him ’cause enough sites have done that. I don’t even know if I can do a “What Stan Meant To Me” angle. I’ve spent the past few years pretty much waiting for what happened on Monday. I had made my peace with it once the stories of the suspected elder abuse surfaced earlier this year. To me, Stan “The Man” Lee was already gone, and his handlers were pretty much Weekend at Bernie’s-ing him to get at his fortune. When Wizard magazine went under, the first thought I had was how they wouldn’t be around to have a special commemorative edition when he passed. But I still wasn’t ready on Monday. We lost Stan.

As much as I love pop culture, I’ve never been much of a “starfucker”. I’ve come in contact with a handful of celebrities in my life, but there were only 3 that I ever simply HAD to meet: Adam West, Stan Lee, and Jason David Frank, the greatest Power Ranger of all time. For two of those, I knew the clock was ticking as they were getting older, but they were surrounded by vultures, so the cost of that opportunity kept going up. I paid $300 for a VIP package to meet him at Baltimore Comic Con back in 2011. That’s a lot of money, but not once did I ever question it. This was STAN LEE. I don’t think I’ve ever spent that much money with that little thought put into it. To me, it was a given. I was meeting The Man. After all, “He’s not going to be with us long” was always in the back of my head. And now he’s not.

I always hate the whole “He’s in a better place now” phrase, but I honestly feel that way for Stan. His last few years just seemed miserable, and it was sad to watch him go through it all. Ever since he lost his wife, Joanie, he hadn’t been himself. And now he’s with her again. I don’t care what you believe. There could be an afterlife, or maybe they’re just together in the ground, turning into dust. I feel like whatever it is is probably better than drifting in and out of coherence, while my slacker daughter keeps visiting to ask for money.

Stan meant a lot to a lot of people. That goes without saying. Like any man, he had his faults. And as great as his creative highs were, he also had creative lows. He was a man who would put his name on literally anything. He was the epitome of “Fuck you, pay me”, but he always did it with such enthusiasm, and a smile on his face. The cash grabiest cash grab seemed like a decent idea when he went out to cheerlead for it. The Backstreet Project? Even at the height of the Backstreet Boys’ fame, this was a long shot. Chakra: The Invincible? Over 1.2 BILLION people in India, and none of them gave a shit about that thing. But that’s just a testament to the Stan Lee name. His past paid for his future. Co-creating X-Men, Spider-Man, and the rest opened every door for him for the rest of his life. And I don’t think Stan ever came across a door that he didn’t enter.

His huckster enthusiasm is what we know most about him, though, and it was infectious. He really made you feel like he believed in everything he put his name on. Even as you were at home, shaking your head in disbelief, he was telling you, “No, seriously, this cartoon about Pamela Anderson as a stripper/superhero is gonna knock your socks off!” Instead of the guy who had already made his nut, he approached everything like it might finally be his big break. I’m not sure if there was some guilt over who created what back in the day, or if he just needed to keep the creative juices flowing. Either way, you believed HE believed in Stripperella, even if you and everyone you knew had no intention of ever watching it.

It’s amazing to see someone that enthusiastic about anything in this day and age – to believe in the things to which you’ve aligned yourself THAT MUCH. He could say, “Well, donkeys sleep upside down, True Believer!” and you’d be like, “Well, fuck. I never knew that!” HE MADE YOU BELIEVE. That’s why his creations are so effective, and have touched so many people. You KNEW a Peter Parker. You KNEW a Bruce Banner. And even if it was something you’d never encountered, he made you believe and understand it, too. Name someone else who can do that. I’ll wait.

I don’t think it has fully hit me. I had to get offline when the news hit because it’s the Internet, and the pro-Kirby/pro-Ditko, pro-any collaborator crowd was sharpening their pitchforks and practicing their grave dancing moves. I didn’t feel like dealing with any of that. Now the dust has settled, and everyone has posted their own eulogies and retrospectives, so I appreciate you taking the time to read mine. I think it goes without saying that Stan Lee had the rare distinction of having the West Life Ever. Excelsior!

26th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/26/18

by Will

Sometimes I need to take a week off just so I can come back fired up – and I am FIRED UP this week!

Whatever happened to the days when we just let people say stupid shit and we just shook our heads and kept it moving? Yes, I’m talking about Megyn Kelly. The NBC talk show host came under fire this week, as she was discussing Halloween costumes with a panel of guests, which included Melissa Rivers and Jenna Bush Hager. Kelly was appalled by the restrictions that some universities were putting on certain Halloween costumes, such as prohibiting people from dressing as things like cowboys.

The conversation soon switched to the topic of blackface, as Kelly mentioned that you get in trouble as a White person for dressing up in blackface, but that it was seen as OK when she was younger, as long as you were dressed as a character. The panel somewhat disagreed, and Rivers pointed out that the concepts of politeness and decency seem to be missing in today’s society, and that if you think you might be offending someone, then you probably are. Kelly seemed to sort of take this in stride, the segment ended, and she moved on to talk about some other morning show fluff, like “How to clean your sock drawer potpourri” or whatever. That’s what you’ll see in this clip:

See? Not really a huge thing. I mean, sure, Kelly was wrong, but this is the same chick who argued that Santa Claus was White (Psst! He’s not real!). But you wouldn’t think the situation played out like that based on every report of it on the internet. It was Racist Megyn Kelly Strikes Again! And Tone-Deaf Kelly Doesn’t Understand Racism of Blackface! Um, did you watch the same clip I did?

Let’s point out a few things. First of all, her audience was ’bout it ’bout it when it came to this topic. And it was a diverse audience. I’m not saying what she said was OK, but I’m saying that she was clearly among “her people”. Next, I think it bears pointing out that the topic didn’t really linger. In what’s an 11 minute clip, the whole blackface part took up about 2.5 minutes. It’s not like she dwelled on it, or even tried to argue her side too much. She evoked the image of Real Housewives of New York cast member LuAnn de Lesseps dressed in blackface as Diana Ross, and said, “I thought ‘Maybe she just wanted to be Diana Ross for a day’.” If you ask me, what Kelly said was ignorant, but not racist.

We live in a society that shuns ignorance. No one wants to be the one to ask the “stupid question”, or admit when they don’t know something. At times this coincides with some dicey topics, like race. You’re not really going to get an understanding, however, unless you confront these things in conversation. We have to talk about things! Yet that’s not how we live. We all pretend to know everything, since all knowledge can be found in the palm of our hand. And when someone deigns to ask a question, the impatient simply retort “Google is your friend.” Great. Good talk.

Sure, racism is a by-product of ignorance, but ignorance can sometimes be innocent. Now, we can paint all sorts of things we want onto Megyn Kelly because, again, she’s the chick who swore up and down that Santa Claus HAD to be White. I get it. But I’m not seeing the Evil White Media Racist here that everyone seems to want me to see. I’ve had a lot of opinions where I was probably on the wrong side of history, and this is just another one of them.

Now Kelly’s future with NBC is in jeopardy. She had to apologize for her statements later that day, and then her words were publicly denounced by NBC News chairman Andrew Lack. Then it was reported that the cast of House of Cards pulled out of a planned appearance on her show, due to her remarks. Later on, however, House of Cards cast member Greg Kinnear (remember him?!) said that the cast was told that Kelly had jury duty, which is why the appearance was cancelled. Whatever happened, reruns have been airing instead of live episodes since the event. There are reports that Kelly had met with NBC brass recently and expressed the desire to get back to “real news” coverage, as she hasn’t taken to the lighter side of morning talk. Now, however, it appears the network wants her out, and she’s reportedly demanding a payout of the rest of her contract.

OK, meanwhile, Fox News just announced that their streaming service, Fox Nation, will launch November 27th. So, you mean to tell me that former Fox News darling Megyn Kelly’s highly publicized NBC deal is falling apart just as Fox announces their entry into the streaming market? A streaming service that’s going to need a big name to help launch it? And I’m supposed to think these are just coincidences? This is all orchestrated. Ya know how I know? Because I look at that clip, and I don’t see any fireable offense taking place there. No, this is a mountain being made out of a molehill, and social media and the court of public opinion are being used to throw fuel on the fire. Someone at NBC clearly wanted her gone (word on the street is that it’s Al Roker), while she needs somewhere to land when they snatch the rug out from under her. Mark my words: she’s going back to Fox, and she’s going to double down on her “conservative Megyn Kelly” persona. After all, the folks who were behind her sexual harassment claims at Fox are either gone and/or dead. The time is ripe for a homecoming, and she’s got a lot of fuel against the Liberal Media for how she was treated during this “ordeal”. Great job, Liberals: you just helped one of your greatest foes level up.

So, you got Megyn Kelly fired. Meanwhile, trans folks are potentially about to be erased, and bombs are being sent to prominent Democrats. But I’m glad to see y’all focused on the real issues…

You thought I was done? Oh, I’m just getting started!

So, during my blogging break, Netflix cancelled Iron Fist, and all the folks who were like “How the fuck they gonna have a White dude as Iron Fist? They better cancel that show before it airs!” suddenly turned into “Oh Noez! How dare Netflix cancel Iron Fist?!” people. It was actually quite the thing to witness. I wish I’d kept the receipts from a year ago. Anyway, Netflix totally doubled down, and cancelled Luke Cage just a few days later. And then the armchair quarterbacks came out: “Oh, they’re totally gonna make Heroes for Hire instead.” Or “Disney’s just gonna put them on their streaming service.” I don’t know about the former, but you’re wrong about the latter, and here’s why:

While we don’t know streamer ratings, we know that pretty much everyone hated the first season of Iron Fist, while they felt Cage seasons were too long. Add in the fact that the Netflix shows are tangential, at best, to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Disney is putting actual MCU actors on the streaming network, so I don’t see them wasting their time and resources on the Great Value properties.

Next, let’s look at the politics at play. The Netflix shows are produced by Marvel Television, while the Marvel Cinematic Universe films are produced by Marvel Studios. Those two divisions HATE each other. Lots of bad blood, which is why Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the only show that takes place “firmly” in the universe of the films, as it was established before all the shit went down. Everything established later has been in this nebulous “Maybe it’s in the MCU/maybe it’s not” gray area. When the streaming service was announced, they specifically pointed out that the Marvel shows on the service would A) be entrenched in the MCU, and B ) produced by Marvel Studios (and not Marvel Television). So, long story short, the Netflix shows didn’t get invited to the party because of their origin with Marvel Television. Also add in the mature nature of the Netflix shows, while it’s been pretty widely reported that Disney Play won’t venture past PG-13 content.

So, Iron Fist and Luke Cage may live to fight another day, but it ain’t gonna be on Disney’s streaming service. One theory I’ve heard is that they might end up on Hulu, should Netflix ever give up the rights, as Disney will be the majority shareholder of Hulu after the Fox deal closes. As with most things, however, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Yesterday it was announced that Rick & Morty head writer Mike McMahan has been hired to develop the animated Star Trek: Lower Decks series for CBS All Access. And I think this is a horrible idea. I know that the Trek TV franchise has been pretty dormant in recent years, but CBS All Access is wasting no time diluting the fuck out of it now. Seriously, there is an announcement of a new Trek series almost weekly, to the point that I’ve lost track. Right now, there’s Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Short Treks, Star Trek: There Are Four Lights (which is my working title for the Picard-centered show), and now there’s Star Trek: Lower Decks – all for CBS All Access. There are about to be a LOT of discussions about what IS and ISN’T “Star Trek“. Animated series from a Rick & Morty writer? Yeah, that ain’t Trek.

I know I’m biased, but as a lifelong Trekker, I’ve always felt there was some pomp and ceremony to the Star Trek franchise. In a lot of ways, you could say that it’s a franchise that tends to take itself too seriously. That’s why I hesitate to embrace something, officially licensed, that pokes fun at that. Sure, over the years there have been fanzines and things like Star Wreck that parodied Trek, but this show, which is supposed to focus on the unnamed crewmen who help run things on an unimpressive Starfleet vessel, sounds like something in the vein of those parodies, and I think it takes away from the franchise rather than adds to it. It feels a lot like Star Trek selling out. Maybe they’re trying to make it accessible to new audiences – ones who may have been put off by the “rigidity” of prior series, but I’d argue that rigidity is part of what makes Star Trek what it is.

My pal Peter pointed out that it’s worth comparing how CBS is treating Trek to how Disney is treating Star Wars. At a glance, Lower Decks feels like something you’d get from the Star Wars franchise. It seems like it’s in the same spirit as the Tag & Bink comic series that Dark Horse put out many moons ago. That was a comedic take on the Star Wars movies, as seen through the eyes of two Jedi in training, who kind of “Forrest Gump” their way through the important events of the original trilogy. A lot of folks liked that series, but keep in mind that it was a comic. It wasn’t seen by the vast majority of Star Wars fans. So, it was treated like the niche thing it was. Lower Decks, however, is being given the same platform as the current, “core” Trek series, Discovery. If they wanted to make some web shorts or something, fine, but a full series (with a 2-season order, at that), just seems to legitimize something that shouldn’t really exist.

Back to the Trek/Wars comparison, I feel like, despite the backlash to The Last Jedi, that Disney is doing it right when it comes to the Star Wars franchise, primarily because they “spread the wealth”. There are the movies, but there’s also the animated series on cable, there’s the upcoming series for Disney Play, and other outlets. Meanwhile, CBS is blowing their entire wad on All Access. They know folks aren’t shelling out a monthly fee for that Tim Meadows cop show, or that spinoff of The Good Wife. No, the ones who are subscribing are doing it, begrudgingly, for Star Trek, BUT there are a LOT of Trek fans (myself included) who can’t even be swayed by that. Instead of being forced to pay for another streaming service, I’m content to just refuse to acknowledge that Discovery even really exists. And even if I acknowledge its existence, I refuse to believe it’s actually contributing anything worthwhile to the mythos. I realize I could be completely wrong about that, but it’s the fault of CBS for hiding it behind a paywall. The insistence on continuing to do this with this ONE particular franchise isn’t going to soften my resolve, but rather just make me resent CBS even more. So, bring on your hateful, sardonic Star Trek cartoon, but I most likely won’t be watching it.

Had I written a post last week, the West Week Ever probably would’ve gone to The Conners, for pulling off an unnecessary, but adequate feat. You see, the show doesn’t really need to exist. Sure, there are the stories of John Goodman saying that they “owed it to the fans”, and sure people were worried about the cast and crew who were out of jobs after the abrupt cancellation of the reboot. To that, I have 2 thoughts: 1) they owe the fans nothing. It could’ve stood as a Done In One “special” season, like the kind of thing you’d get in the UK, and everyone could’ve kept it moving and 2) It’s not like this all happened during season 10 of a long-running series. Yes, it was technically season 11, BUT 20 years had passed in between. The cast already had lives they’d established. Sara Gilbert still has The Talk to go back to, and Michael Fishman could probably get his job back at the Winn Dixie. It’s not like folks had totally uprooted their lives during the ONE season of this reboot, and it’s Hollywood, so the crew would have no trouble getting work on the next project they throw at Joel McHale.

No, The Conners was an experiment that we have to live with even if we weren’t sure we wanted it. I was one of the early champions of the whole “Why not just ‘pull a Hogan Family‘, and keep going with the rest of the cast?” Yeah, I said it, but I didn’t mean it. I really just wanted to see if Hollywood still had the balls to pull off a move like that. That was one of my “Wanting to watch the world burn” moments. Anyway, much to my surprise, they did have the balls to do it. I feel like I’ve also gone on record saying that I didn’t really get why Roseanne was fired. Sure, what she said was fucked up, but it was only the most recent fucked up thing in a string of Roseanne’s fuckedupness. She really hasn’t been stable for the past 15 years or so. Someone had to know she was capable of this, but they still gave her a chance. Back in my day, you’d say something fucked up and racist, you’d do a mea culpa, and then you’d do a photo op with Al Sharpton after donating to the NAACP. So when did the rules change? ABC got her out of there with the quickness, and I’ll bet James Gunn was even somewhere like “Man, I hope they never do that to me!” [Editor’s Note: That is exactly what ABC/Disney would end up doing to him]

The thing that really strikes me about The Conners is the notion of “family”. One of the strengths of the original Roseanne was the family unit, and it’s what a lot of folks were anticipating upon its return. Once the reboot was announced, the cast was making the talk show rounds, about how they were a family and how great it felt to be back together. So, when Roseanne fucked up, where was her family? They turned on her. I know it’s naive (and not always true), but I like to think family sticks together. That’s not what happened here. When the shit hit the fan, they denied her like Peter denied Jesus, and they were all like, “Hey, I’ve got bills”.

I mean, it’s cutthroat Hollywood, but something doesn’t sit right with me. Roseanne tried to make it right, by signing over her rights and financial ties to the show, so that the cast and crew could carry on steering the ship that she built. And yeah, (spoiler alert), they killed off her character with a drug overdose, which is just so…unglamourous. I mean, there was a precedent for it, as it was established last season that she had an opiod addiction, but it was also established that she was worried about dying on the table during her knee surgery. Would it have killed them to go with the latter instead of the former? It reminds me of the overkill the South Park guys did to Chef went Isaac Hayes got all sanctified and quit the show.

Anyway, The Conners picks up a few weeks after Roseanne’s death, and the family is trying to adjust with her not around. They assumed her heart gave out, but midway through the episode, the coroner’s office calls, saying she had actually died of a drub overdose. Well, this is news to Dan, as well as Darlene and Becky. When they find out Roseanne had gotten drugs that had been prescribed to some other woman, Dan goes all “small town vengeance” on her, by putting a sign on his truck naming the woman, and blaming her for killing his wife. Eventually, the woman shows up to the house to apologize for Roseanne’s death, but also to ask Dan to remove the sign as it’s ruining her life. So, I guess the show is going to tackle the opiod crisis that’s plaguing Middle America right now, but it just feels so…unnecessary. If it were a story about recovery and redemption, that’s a story that I’d be interested in seeing how it plays out. But it’s not that story, as Roseanne is already dead, and she ain’t coming back. So what now? I truly don’t know the answer to that. I wonder if anyone associated with the show does, either, or if they’re just cashing their checks and keeping their heads down.

I had the pleasure of joining my buddy, Corey Chapman, on his podcast The Chap Report this week. It was a really fun time, as we discussed Halloween and modern scary movies, as well as the current state of the WWE. Plus a bunch of other stuff. It was fun to record, and just as fun to listen back to, so check it out and put it in your ear holes!

Trailer Park

F is for Family

This show is one of those hidden Netflix gems that nobody talks about, like LoveSick (AKA Scrotal Recall). I really enjoyed season 1, but totally missed season 2. I’ll probably catch up so I can watch this when it debuts on November 30th, ’cause I really liked it.


Broad City

We got this trailer for the 5th, and final, season of Broad City, and I guess it looks OK? As they say in the South, this show “got out from good”. When it debuted, I LOVED it. Crushed hard on both Abbi and Ilana. Then I feel like they jumped the shark somewhere around the Hillary cameo. And I bailed halfway through last season ’cause it just felt like it’d lost its spark. If I could find it somewhere, I’d watch the eps I missed, but I think I’m ready for this show to end.


Nobody’s Fool

I love a good red band trailer. Apparently Tiffany Haddish made the “Kevin Hart” deal with the Devil, in which she is required to appear in one movie a month. Good for her, I guess. I won’t see it in a theater, but I’d watch it if it were convenient to do so.


Bird Box

Folks are saying they’re getting A Quiet Place vibes from this trailer, which is another film I need to watch. I tend not to like stuff like this, but I’m intrigued, and I like Sandra Bullock. Plus, I already have Netflix, so it’s a plus that I won’t have to leave home to see it.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • As anyone with a brain could’ve predicted, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are dunzo!
  • Marvel fired Star Wars comic writer Chuck Wendig after he was told that his social media activity was too political and profanity-laden.
  • There was some casting on that Pennyworth series for Epix (Ya know, Batman’s butler before he was Batman’s butler?). Anyway, you don’t know who any of the folks are, nobody has Epix, and the show’s a terrible idea, so I’m just gonna jump to the next item.

  • Speaking of ill-advised DC TV moves, we got our first look at Shane West as Bane on Gotham. Oh man, did they run out of money? It’s like a poor kid’s homemade Darth Vader costume or something.
  • DC Comics revealed The Other History of the DC Universe, written by John Ridley, which will focus key events in the DC Universe through the eyes of its Black heroes. It’s part of DC’s Black Label imprint, but it’s mostly prose, with a $7.99 per issue price tag. Yeah, PASS!
  • Avengers 4 spoilers are starting to trickle out, including a pic of Ms. Gwenyth Paltrow. I’ll just leave it at that.
  • Disney had met with the writers of the Deadpool films about a potential reboot of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. It’s unclear if Johnny Depp would be involved this time.
  • Alan Tudyk will voice The Joker on the upcoming Harley Quinn animated series on the DC Universe streaming service.
  • Steve Carell has been cast in Apple’s untitled morning show drama, also starring Reese Witherspoon. Do Apple shows ever come out? I always hear about them in development, and then something stupid happens, like “Whoops! We shot all 13 episodes but forgot to put film in the camera!” Seriously, name ONE Apple series that is complete and ready to go.
  • Speaking of Apple, they’re reportedly going to launch their own streaming service ’cause, y’know, everybody’s doing it. I guess it’ll be the home of all these shows that live in Canada that they keep talking about.
  • There are rumblings that Fuller House will end after its 4th season, though Netflix commented that no decision has been made at this time (translation: Time to look for work, Jodie Sweetin!).
  • Netflix has definitely made up its mind about Orange Is the New Black, as this will be its last season.
  • An NYPD Blue reboot is in the works, which would focus on the son of Andy Sipowicz (played by Dennis Franz in the original series). In this series, Sipowicz Jr will be investigating the murder of his father. Naw! They done killed Sipowicz?! They couldn’t let him retire to fish or some shit?
  • It’s the end of an era, as Caroll Spinney, the Sesame Street puppeteer behind Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch for the past 50 years (!), would be stepping away from the roles. My oldest calls it Elmo Street anyway, so I guess he picked the right time to go…
  • Your HBO sex scenes are about to get lame, as the network has hired Intimacy Coordinators to be on set whenever a sex scene is to occur between actors. Due to the #MeToo movement, they want to ensure that consent is there, and that the actors are comfortable. Meanwhile, Shannon Tweed is somewhere, going “What a crock!”
  • So, MTV is reviving The Real World, but on Facebook Watch? What is that? Is that free? Seems odd they’d farm out one of their most iconic franchises. Anyway, I’m closer to 40 than 20, so this ain’t for me. Plus – and I’ve said it before – the show won’t return to its hard-hitting glory until they start casting ugly people again.
  • Speaking of Facebook, they will soon add the ability for you to add songs to your profile. Hey, 2006 MySpace called and boy do they have some shit to say!
  • CMT is reviving the ABC series Wife Swap, which will premiere in February. I will always think of this Chappelle sketch whenever that show, or its clone Trading Spouses, comes up.
  • The Wonder Woman sequel, Wonder Woman 1984, has been moved to June 5th, 2020, so as not to crowd out the Todd Phillips Joker movie coming out next fall. There are also rumors that the film will serve as a Flashpoint-like reboot to the DC movie universe.

  • British police are on the case to catch a David Schwimmer lookalike who stole some beer from a liquor store.

So this is a tough one. I can’t say this person had a “good” week, but he certainly had an important week. I haven’t been the biggest wrestling fan in recent years, but you couldn’t get near the WWE without knowing about Roman Reigns. The biggest reason is that the company seemed to be giving him a push that the fans didn’t really support. Over time, I was pretty much conditioned to dislike him, just like “everyone else” supposedly did. I knew he was part of The Shield, and pseudo-related to The Rock (since all Samoans seem to be born from 3 women), and he wasn’t bald (which meant he wasn’t a heel). Other than that, though, I had never really seen him wrestle, so I was peer-pressured into disliking him. That all changed on Monday night, though.

On Monday Night RAW, Roman broke character and introduced himself as “Joe” (his real name is Joe Anoa’i), and told the world that his Leukemia had returned. He was apparently diagnosed 11 years ago, and had beaten it. Unfortunately, it’s back, leading him to relinquish his WWE Universal Championship title. It was an emotional moment, especially when you watched the reaction of the WWE starts backstage. Even if the fans didn’t love him, it was clear he was loved by his colleagues, and they were genuinely concerned for him.

Since I’m dumb, I immediately texted my friend “Does this mean we’re not allowed to hate him anymore?” The thing is, though, that I never had a real reason to hate him. And instead of merely tolerating him, I now find myself concerned for his well-being. It’s a crazy string of emotions, and it all happened so fast. He made a point to say that this wasn’t a retirement speech, and he has every intention of coming back. I certainly hope that’s true, and I look forward to seeing how the fans will regard him on that day. Is this the thing that he “needed”? Did he have to show he was human to get over with them? Wrestling is such a strange thing sometimes. Anyway, prayers up for Roman Reigns, who had the West Week Ever.

05th Oct2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 10/5/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Brad Kern Update – the former NCIS: New Orleans showrunner was fired by CBS Studios after a THIRD misconduct investigation. He had already stepped down after the 2nd, but he remained on the payroll as a consulting producer. He reportedly had a history of belittling women, and making insensitive racial remarks.

Vincent Favale – What the Hell is going on over at CBS?! Man, they are draining the fucking swamp! Favale, the senior vice president of talent at the network has been placed on administrative leave after reports of sexual and homophobic remarks – many of which were reported by staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Favale reportedly once said that he “got four erections” while watching Jennifer Hudson rehearse for a Late Show appearance. Sounds like a real great guy…

*Takes long drag off cigarette* “Geoffrey? Now, that ain’t a name I’ve heard in about a month.” So, this week, Toys “R” Us called off the auction meant to sell off their IP and trademarks, as they reported they felt there was more value in relaunching the brand. Paperwork reveals that they registered the name “Geoffrey’s Toy Box”, but for what nobody is sure yet. Meanwhile, the Dallas Toy Fair is going on, and there have been sightings of Geoffrey walking the aisles, wearing a cape that says “Back from vacation”. All of a sudden, every news outlet lit up with “Toys ‘R’ Us is Coming Back!” Hold on there, cowboy.

Toys “R” Us rushed into bankruptcy, leaving long-time employees without severance, and owing toy manufacturers millions for unpaid product. That giraffe can’t just mosey back in like nothing happened. While the man on the street might be happy about TRU returning, there are a lot of folks who are going to feel some kind of way about that. And if it turned out that they only filed bankruptcy to divest themselves of debt, overhead, and responsibility, that’s going to cause even more problems. Had they been a public company, I’m pretty sure the SEC would be stepping in right about now, but they were private, so I don’t really know what happens next. All I do know is that they need to read the room and understand it’s too soon. The body ain’t even cold yet. I mean, I’m half expecting the next marketing image to be Geoffrey rolling back the stone from his tomb. That’s how this feels right now. They really need to give it a bit more time before rushing into this – if only so I don’t have to hear all the armchair quarterbacks talk about “They better lower their prices! That’s what drove them out of business in the first place!” Not exactly, Poindexter, but you keep on thinking that…


I was hesitant to post this ’cause y’all are never on the same page as me musically, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the stuff I think is good. Now, I know some of you see “country” and just think “NEXT!”, but I will die on the hill that modern country isn’t what you think it is. There are tons of artists who get airplay on country stations, yet if I played the song for you without telling you that, you’d never know it. Today, I can’t really do that ’cause I think everyone knows Tim McGraw is a country artist. Still, yesterday evening, he released his latest song, “Neon Church”, that I’ve been streaming for the past 24 hours.

While I love the wordplay, likening a bar to a church, I’m really here for the melody and what’s going on in the background. The first time I heard it, I was like “That’s ‘Purple Rain’!” In an interview this morning, McGraw said that while recording, he and his band were listening to a lot of Prince and Journey, and it shows here. I played it for Lindsay, and she didn’t like it – I somehow managed to marry the only White woman who hates Journey. Anyway, listen near the bridge and the at the end – that guitarist is doing his best “cruise ship ‘Purple Rain'”. It’s something of a vocal stretch for McGraw, as it’s at the top of his range, but I’m still really digging what’s going on here.

Trailer Park


Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

So, we got a new trailer for this one. Again, I am one of the BIGGEST Miles Morales fans, and this movie does nothing for me. I’m not digging the animation style, which I’m finding to be just as jarring as the MTV Spider-Man animated series based on the Raimi movies. Plus, I’m not sure Jake Johnson is how I imagined Peter Parker would sound. And Miles’ dad isn’t a cop. I get they had to take certain liberties or whatever, but I’m not feeling it. Maybe it’s not meant for me, which is sad, ’cause I pretty much glom onto any and all Miles merchandise and comic appearances.

Plus, I just don’t know if this is a theatrical project. I mean, I look at this, and think it would be a cool animated special that airs on ABC during primetime on a Wednesday in June or something, but to actually go pay to see it in a theater? I don’t think so. It feels like a nice special one-off event, like that Toy Story That Time Forgot special or something. Maybe even a special event on Disney XD. But this ain’t an “I’m headed to Fandango to order tickets” kind of thing.


Daredevil Season 3

So glad they quickly got this out there, ’cause the teaser I showed you last week left me scratching my head. Apparently this is adapting the “Born Again” storyline, but I read that thing over 10 years ago, and don’t remember it, so don’t take my word for it. It looks good – SO good, that I might just skip that other Netflix shows I haven’t seen and skip right to it.


Runaways Season 2

I’ve never watched an episode of this show, and that’s because A) I don’t have Hulu and B) it looks hokey as Hell. From the special effects to the way the kids all look like “teen outcasts” straight from central casting, it just doesn’t look good to me. I was a big fan of the comic series when it launched, but I watch these trailers, and I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you’ve read the comic, you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s like, if you think they’re on the run NOW, you just wait! There’s a twist coming, and I might jump onboard if/when I hear they’ve pulled that trigger. Until then, I’m content being in the dark on this one, Cloak & Dagger, and all the teen-centric Marvel stuff.


Harley Quinn

So, they announced that Kaley Cuoco would be voicing Harley, and I was like, “Huh?” I mean, were Tara Strong or Arleen Sorkin busy? But I guess they wanted a “name” behind this, since it’s one of DC Universe’s more high profile upcoming launches. After seeing this trailer, Cuoco does a decent job. And I really love Poison Ivy doing her best Daria. I like that DC seems able and willing to poke fun at them themselves here. I’m curious to see how this plays out since it’s marketed as an “adult animated series”. Let’s just hope the show is good, and not another Stripperella.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Fox announced the release of Untitled Deadpool Movie slated for December 21st, which will reportedly be a PG-13 cut of Deadpool 2. Keep in mind that this is also the weekend that Aquaman and Bumblebee hit theaters. I was kinda hoping it would be a new movie made up of deleted scenes and cut subplots, kinda like Wake Up, Ron Burgandy. Anyone ever seen that? It’s HORRIBLE but, as an Anchorman completist, I had to see it.
  • Speaking of Fox, they made a lot of schedule moves, as Untitled Deadpool Movie takes the release date of James Cameron’s Alita: Battle Angel, which, itself, is moving to Dark Phoenix‘s previously announced date of February 14th, 2019. Dark Phoenix, meanwhile, is moving to June 7th. Also, Channing Tatum’s X-Men spinoff, Gambit (ya know, that movie that’s never gonna happen?), has been pushed to March 13th, 2020.

  • So, those pitches are teasing a Pitch Perfect 4, and I’ve got to beg them to stop. The only thing they could even possibly do is have it based on NBC bringing back The Sing Off, and having the Bellas compete on it. Anything else would be absurd. No, the 3rd one was just not worth it, so I say we let it die as a trilogy.
  • Before the first episode has even aired, Titans has been renewed for season 2 on the DC Universe streaming service. Ya know, why not? It’s not like they’re sitting on anything else amazing to throw on that thing.

  • Speaking of bad DC live action ideas, Lobo is going to debut on Syfy’s Krypton next season. This looks like a Spirit Halloween ad! Ugh, fucking Lobo. He’s just the absolute WORST. Even though he debuted in the 80s, he’s the 90s at its 90iest, and I hate everything about him. I’ve always said that you can tell a lot about a person if they’re a Lobo fan. They’re usually Special Ed. Probably ate paste in school. They either grow up to own a landscaping business or become a Best Buy stereo installer. Fucking Lobo…
  • Realizing he’s getting too old for this shit, Damon Wayans has announced that he’s leaving Lethal Weapon at the end of season 3’s initial 13-episode commitment. Man, how mad do you think Fox is at the Lethal Weapon office right now? They already had to replace Clayne Crawford with Sean William Scott just to keep the show going, and now THIS?! Somebody’s GOT to be saying “We don’t need this shit! We could’ve renewed Lucifer!” As I said on Twitter, they should replace Wayans with Bill Bellamy, then kill off Scott, and replace him with Peter Facinelli. Then, I’ll get my backdoor Fastlane revival I’ve been wanting since 2003!
  • Kanye did some dumb shit on SNL, and water is wet.
  • Looks like Robert Kirkman is going to have to be content living off his The Walking Dead empire, as Cinemax has cancelled his series Outcast after 2 seasons.
  • Everyone wants in on the fantasy genre, as Netflix is adapting the C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia for series and movies, while Amazon is developing a series based on Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time novels.
  • Remember Mischa Barton? Ya know, the It Girl from The O.C. who went nowhere? Well, she’s going to be joining the cast of The Hills: New Beginnings on MTV.
  • Chelsea Peretti announced that she won’t be returning to Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a series regular when the show debuts on NBC this season.
  • Amy Schumer was detained yesterday in DC during the #KavaNope protests, but she blocked me on Twitter ages ago, so she’s dead to me. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME, AMY!

  • We got this poster for the upcoming Hellboy reboot, starring David “You Wouldn’t Even Know My Name Were It Not For Stranger Things” Harbour.
  • Elon Musk took one step closer to becoming The World’s First Supervillain, as he was forced to resign as Tesla chariman, and was fined $20 million by the SEC, due to a tweet where he implied he had secured funding to take Tesla private.
  • Last night marked the finale episode of the hour-long version of Conan on TBS, as he bid farewell to his house band, Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band (formerly the Max Weinberg 7). The future show will switch to a half hour format, with no musical guests, but with more special events, like shows from foreign countries.
  • Brian Robbins was announced as the new head of Nickelodeon, which is significant since he and his former Head of the Class costar, Dan Schneider, got their behind the scenes careers started by creating All That for the network back in 1994. It’ll be interesting to see if he throws any work to Schneider, whose Schneider’s Bakery production house was sent packing by Nickelodeon earlier this year after allegations surrounding Schneider arose.
  • Talk about an “unfortunate Situation”! Jersey Shore star, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, was sentenced to 8 months in prison for tax evasion.
  • Jon Favreau will write and produce Star Wars series The Mandalorian, which appears to follow another Fett, after the events of Empire, but before the rise of the First Order. The series will stream on Disney Play.

I know you’ve gotten this far, and you’re like “Wait, didn’t he have Venom in the header pic? He hasn’t even mention…wait. He WOULDN’T!”

OK, bear with me here. I know the critics gave this film a shellacking, and I can understand why. In the age of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and, to some extent, the DCEU, Venom isn’t what we’ve come to expect from a comic book movie in 2018. And I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. I swore that I wouldn’t spend money to see Venom, and I kept that promise, as Special Forces wanted to see it, and it was his turn to pay. That said, I didn’t hate it. In fact, I really enjoyed it. Now, I am known for liking shit, so don’t equate “Will liked it” with “It’s a good movie”. I don’t know if I’m “Film Twitter” enough to say it’s good or bad, but I definitely enjoyed it.

OK, so the movie starts out with investigative reporter Eddie Brock on top of the world. He’s got his own cable news show, where he roots out corruption, he’s engaged to corporate attorney Michelle Williams, and he’s about to get a chance to interview Elon Musk analog, Carlton Drake. Actually, that’s not how the movie starts. It actually starts with a space shuttle crashing upon reentry – a shuttle that happens to carry organic samples. All of the astronauts die except one, named “Jameson”, where I guess they’re alluding to J. Jonah Jameson’s astronaut son, John Jameson, who later becomes the Man-Wolf in the comics. Anyway, while transporting Jameson to the nearest hospital, it appears he’s got a symbiote in him that jumps from him to his EMT, wrecking the ambulance. Oh, and that shuttle? It was owned by Carlton Drake.

Brock’s boss wants him to interview Drake, but he doesn’t want to do it because he doesn’t trust Drake. His doubts are reinforced when he hacks into his fiancee’s computer (her firm happens to be representing Drake’s company, The LIFE Foundation), and discovers a wrongful death suit filed against the computer. When he gets his shot at interviewing Drake, instead of sticking to the script, he decides to ask about the wrongful death suit. Well, this doesn’t go well, as Drake kicks Brock out of his building, ends his career, and gets Williams fired from her firm, where she, then, gives Brock his ring back. In one fell swoop, Brock’s life is ruined.

Fast forward six months, and Brock is a drunk, “slumming it” in what has to be a $4500/month apartment (seriously, the thing is huge, and they’re in San Francisco!). He’s got no job prospects and no future, until a horribly miscast Jenny Slate shows up as Dora Skirth, a scientist at the LIFE Foundation who has doubts about the organization’s goals. See, Drake thinks humans have ruined Earth, and the only possible solution is to equip them with the means to survive – whether here or on another planet. He sees the symbiote samples as a means of doing that, and he has ordered trials to begin on humans. LIFE picks up vagrants and has them sign away their rights as they test the symbiotes to see if they’ll bond with humans. Well, this is too much for Dr. Skirth, who seeks out Brock to help her expose the company.

Dr. Skirth sneaks Brock in, who goes exploring while she tries to distract a security guard. While exploring, Brock finds his neighborhood homeless friend in one of the cells. When he breaks her out, she attacks him ’cause she’s got a symbiote in her, which she passes to Brock, unbeknownst to him. As he’s fleeing from security, he notices he can do things he shouldn’t be able to do, like shatter trees and quickly scale great heights. This is when he starts to realize something’s not right, as he starts to hear a voice in his head that wasn’t there before.

So, now he’s riding for two, as Venom’s in his head, but pops out when necessary – like when Drake’s hired security show up to take back the symbiote, and there’s a well-choreographed fight scene in the apartment, leading to a great car chase scene. The action is actually pretty impressive in the film. There’s one scene of Venom versus the SWAT team that plays out like a boss battle in a video game. They’re throwing flash grenades and shooting at shadows, while Venom bounces around the rafters.

I’ll stop spoiling stuff here, as you might actually want to see the movie one day. I’ll say there were a couple of things that bothered me. For one thing, Michelle Williams. I mean, the entire time, I’m watching the film, thinking, “You’re better than this, Michelle! You’ve been nominated for an Oscar FOUR TIMES, yet here you are, doing your worst Great Value Pepper Potts!” Also, there are continuity issues. There’s a scene where Drake is speaking to a field trip at his HQ, and a little girl tries to ask him a question. The rest of the class tries to stop her for interrupting, but Drake says something inspiring like, “No, speak. That’s what people do. They try to dissuade you from asking questions, but that’s how we learn.” He, then, gives her the pin off his lapel, but HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY LET HER ASK A QUESTION! he basically grandstanded, only to shoot her down. I mean, she was happy with the lapel pin, but nobody seems to notice she didn’t ask her question. Lost in editing maybe? Also, I didn’t really like Riz Ahmed as Drake. I thought it was another casting misfire. I would’ve gone for someone with more gravitas, like maybe Dev Patel, if they were going for a “type”. I also didn’t appreciate that it was clearly an R-rated film, edited down to PG-13, and Hardy has said that 40 minutes got cut, including his favorite scene.

Things I did like: Tom Hardy was great as Guy Who Ends Up As Venom’s Host. I can’t honestly say he was a great Eddie Brock, as I don’t have a ton of familiarity with that character. When he was ruling comics in the 90s, I still pretty much a strictly DC guy, so I haven’t read most of those iconic Venom stories. I know Brock was Peter Parker’s rival, so you’re not really supposed to be rooting for him, but you kinda have to here. That’s why I can understand why they wanted Spider-Man as far away from this film as possible. Still, I liked Hardy for what he was, and I loved his interplay with Venom in his head. I also LOVED Venom, as he was funnier than I expected him to be. The CGI wasn’t as troublesome as I was expecting, and I was even fine with no spider symbol on his chest.

As much as I enjoy the MCU movies, I’m getting a little tired of them. As a fanboy, they’re work. It’s not enough to just sit back and enjoy the movie, but Marvel really drives home the interconnectedness of it all. So, the first time you watch, you’re on guard for any Easter egg that might fly by. Like “Hey, he just mentioned Damage Control!”, etc. I get it, Marvel – you’re good at tying your shit together. But I don’t ALWAYS need that. Venom was a nice change of pace. It was still “In Association With Marvel”. I still got my Stan Lee cameo. It did everything it needed to do. And the mid credits scene has me hoping we get a sequel, ’cause there’s a lot of potential with what they teased.

Yes, this was a pretty slow week unless your name was Brett Kavanaugh, so there wasn’t a ton of competition here. So, I’m gonna shock y’all and say that Venom had the West Week Ever.

28th Sep2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 9/28/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch (TM)

Brett Kavanaugh – PASS. Next!

Drake – So, 14 year old Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown recently said that Drake texts her and gives her advice about boys. Now, this is already after he was coming off a week where he was reportedly seen out on a date with a teenager. Ol’ Aubrey better watch himself, because even the King of Pop himself couldn’t shake the pedophile allegations. It’s probably an innocent thing, but he might wanna tell her to stop bringing shit like that up in interviews.

Nelly – There are reports that Nelly settled with a woman who alleges he forced her to perform oral and vaginal sex on his tour bus, When he was done, he reportedly threw her off the bus and threw a $100 bill at her. Now, reports are saying they reached a settlement, which would normally imply guilt. The thing here, though, is that “settlement” doesn’t seem to be the correct word. Apparently, the victim refused to cooperate with prosecutors, and both sides dropped their suits against one another (Nelly had countersued). They agreed to cover their own legal costs, but Nelly’s lawyer reports no money changed hands, which the victim’s attorney is disputing. At the end of the day, I guess she didn’t wanna go and take a ride wit’ him.

Bill Cosby Update – Surprising EVERYONE, Bill Cosby received a sentence of 3-10 years in prison for puttin’ the pill in the bubbly when the girls wanna drink. There are reports that someone threw a hot dog at him in lockup on his first day, plus he almost fell down some stairs. On the one hand, it’s like “He was an evil man and this is what he has coming to him”. But on the other, it’s like “Who wins from an 83 year old man being put in jail?” I think he deserves to be there, but I’m not gonna laugh at his misfortune while in there. Hopefully, he’s not only a cautionary tale, but also the first of many more to follow.

Trailer Park

We’ve got a lot of trailery goodness this week, so let’s dive right in.

Creed II

Honestly, the first trailer did more for me. The whole rap in the background, the final tease of Drago Jr. That was great. I felt there was too much here, and not even the juicy bits. Just a bunch of Adonis being a deadbeat dad because he’s obsessed with his father’s legacy. Hands down, the best scene here is the staredown between Drago and Rocky. Man, the Russians clearly have the better Human Growth Hormone, ’cause Rocky looks like shit compared to Ivan. I’ll see it. Not sure if I’ll see it in the theater, but I’ll see it.

Bumblebee

So much 80s goodness in here. I was never a huge Transformers fan, so whatever Michael Bay did to them didn’t scar me as much as it did a lot of y’all. That said, I’ve always been a big fan of Bumblebee. Long story short, Bumblebee was the last birthday present I got from my dad before he passed away. So, even though a lot of y’all hate that he’s become the Urkel of the TF franchise, I will always stan for the ‘Bee. I will definitely be seeing this one.

Dark Phoenix

Ooh, we’re going all “Dark Knight“, and removing the name of the title characters’ franchise from the name of the movie. Whatever. A friend of mine texted me and asked “Did you see the Dark Phoenix trailer?” I replied, “No, but I saw a piece of shit with some X-Men characters in it.” This trailer is on Lexapro. There are no highs or lows. It just coasts right through the middle, offering nothing exciting. It’s a shame that everyone is all “Bring on the MCU X-Men!”, because it seems like that rubbed off on the filmmakers. Well, if nothing else, at least we know we’ll have a cool Quicksilver sequence to look forward to. If this is the 90s, I’m hoping it’s set to something by either C&C Music Factory of La Bouche.

ABC’s TGIF

Comedy has changed a lot and, while there’s a lot of nostalgia for the TGIF brand, I’m not sure Fresh Off the Boat and Speechless are gonna be the torchbearers for the 21st century incarnation of the comedy block. Anyway, here’s a cute video of some former TGIF stars imparting their wisdom to the newbies.


Star Trek: Short Treks – “Runaway”

Considering that there seems to be new Star Trek news every day, one of the projects that got lost in the news cycle was the Short Treks series, which are four anthology episodes that…well, I don’t know a whole lot more than that. Here’s the trailer for the first one, though, set in the Discovery era, starring Ensign Sylvia Tilly. Again, I’d check all this shit out if it didn’t require me to subscribe to CBS All Access. So, I’ll catch it once it ends up on YouTube or something.

Daredevil Season 3 (Netflix)

Well, that was certainly Kingpin and Matt Murdock. That’s all I’ve got. I’m seriously behind on those shows.

So, here’s an interesting, “shoe is on the other foot” moment. The curator for the hip hop collection at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History, Timothy Anne Burnside, is a White woman (full disclosure: she’s a friend of a friend). I’ve known about this since before the museum even opened. Still, I guess the news was on CP Time, ’cause the Black community didn’t seem to notice until over the weekend, and it was a SHITSTORM. All over social media, they couldn’t understand how a White woman was the curator of something so dear to our culture. Why wasn’t the job offered to a Black person? There was a lot of back and forth, and the Smithsonian even issued a statement about the whole thing. This debate comes up a lot, like “Should minority characters only be written by a person who’s from the same minority group?” From what I’ve heard, Timothy knows her shit, and I don’t think the Smithsonian would choose just anybody to handle this project (fuller disclosure: my mother worked for the National Museum of Natural History for 28 years). Still, the museum is in an uncomfortable situation, where they have to decide whether they’re going to side with Timothy, or with the critics. For the culture. If they do try to replace her, this has got “discrimination suit” written ALL over it.

This week saw the debut of the ABC sitcom Single Parents, starring Taran Killam. It wasn’t as bad as I expected, but it wasn’t great. Basically, Killam is a divorced dad who dotes on his daughter, and this group of single parents in his daughter’s class try to show him that there’s a world out there that he’s missing. The odd thing to me is that their friendship wasn’t organic. The group was just like “Ooh, new single parent!” and decided to make him their project. I had someone tell me on Twitter that I don’t understand single parenting, and that you “find your tribe quickly”. I don’t know about all that, but I know that trust takes time, and this crammed it all into 22 minutes. I get that they’re basically an elementary school Dear John, but the whole support group angle doesn’t really work unless the audience believes the trust is there. Anyway, I don’t know if I’ll be back for this one.

Last night was the premiere of the Murphy Brown revival, and woo boy! First of all, it features a cameo that’s so obvious that I can’t believe they even tried to tease it like it was a surprise (HINT: There’s a joke about emails). One thing another reviewer said, that I have to agree with, is that it seems horribly dated. I mean, the premiere features the pussy hats from the Women’s March (they don’t call them “pussy hats”, even though you could totally get away with that on broadcast today, while you couldn’t when the original series aired). If this had premiered a year ago, it might have seemed on the cutting edge of comedy, but this just seems slow and lazy. It’s kinda like how other animated shows reference how South Park already beat them to making the joke they’re trying to make. Why? Because South Park is a well oiled machine, cranking out shit based on last night’s headlines. This show, however, was Liberal Smuggery at its worst.

“What’s Liberal Smuggery,” you ask? It’s what I call the state of liberal comedy, where they think they’re so much smarter than the conservatives – they’re so biting and witty, yet they’ve got NOTHING to show for it. Even when they’re in power, they’re somehow the weaklings. Late night talk show hosts are the leaders in Liberal Smuggery. Jon Stewart made his name on it. But at the end of the day, what does that get you?  The “moral high ground”? I feel like this premiere went for a lot of low-hanging fruit that even those talk show hosts would’ve avoided.

In the UK, they might do a one-off special to catch up with a beloved show’s characters. They recently did one for Are You Being Served? I would’ve liked this more had it been that format: a one-off special to see how Murphy Brown feels about the Trump Administration. After last night’s episode, I’m pretty sure I’ve got my answer, and I’m good. I’m not so sure this needed to be a full season.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Dr. Dre’s series Vital Signs was cancelled by Apple before it even aired, due to graphic sex and violence. I know what bootleg I’m looking for at the next pop culture convention!
  • Inside The Actor’s Studio is returning to Ovation TV, but it will be without James Lipton. After 25 years, he’s stepping down, and the show will be led by “a rotating array of guest hosts”.

  • Writing has begun on the Picard-centric Star Trek series, and we got this pic of the writers room from Patrick Stewart’s Instagram. I’m struck by the fact that there are 2 women – one of whom is Black. I see you, sista! Oh yeah, Michael Chabon is there, too.
  • Formerly of The View, Rosie O’Donnell is set to guest host on The Talk today, in a possible bid to replace the departed Julie Chen.
  • The CW Arrowverse crossover this season will be called Elseworlds, which comic fans will remember as the DC imprint that was home to out of continuity stories.

  • Speaking of DC shows, we got this poster for Titans, which will be streaming on the DC Universe service next month. Yeah, not only does this poster do nothing for me, but where are Hawk & Dove? Aren’t they supposed to be on the show, too? Was Minka Kelly too expensive for the whole season?
  • Terry Crews has been tapped to host the America’s Got Talent spinoff, America’s Got Talent: the Champions, which seems like it might be their all-star edition. Who hosts the regular show since Nick Cannon quit? *Googles* Tyra Banks? STILL?!
  • So, um, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has joined the writing team for the Veronica Mars revival. Yup, that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Huh.
  • For some reason, Disney is remaking High Fidelity, only Zoe Kravitz will be in the John Cusack role. I don’t get it. Will she be a womanizing lesbian? Will she work still work in a record store? Let’s pump the brakes on these reboots, huh?
  • Dunkin Donuts is reportedly planning to drop the “Donuts” from their name, as they refocus their brand as a “beverage-led company, not limited to just donuts”. Yeah, how ’bout y’all ask IHOB how well that shit went for them.
  • Apparently, there was backlash about how The Princess & The Frog‘s Princess Tiana appears in the upcoming Ralph Wrecks The Internet, as her skin has been lightened, and her hair processed. Disney is correcting the appearance to match what fans are used to. Of course, old White men are mad, and Black folks are like “We were just gonna buy that movie bootleg at the barbershop anyway, so it really don’t matter what color she is based on the shaky cam quality it’s gonna be.”
  • Mary Elizabeth Winstead & Jurnee Smollett-Bell have been cast, respectively, as Huntress and Black Canary in DC’s unnecessary Birds of Prey film that will probably never see the light of day. I mean, my man Ray Fisher is still waiting for his call to report to the set of that Cyborg movie, so…

It was a bad week. Especially the past 2 days. But out of all the bullshit there rose a phoenix. That phoenix also goes by the name of Stefanie Germanotta, but you can call her “Lady Gaga”. She’s making her debut as a lead in Bradley Cooper’s remake of A Star Is Born. Yesterday, the single “Shallow” was released, and I’ve probably listened to it 400 times by now. If there’s any problem with the song, it’s the fact that it’s too short. While everyone was screaming at the Kavanaugh hearing yesterday, I was keeping my cool by looping this. I’d suggest you try it. That’s why Lady Gaga’s “Shallow” had the West Week Ever.

14th Sep2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 9/14/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM) 

SO MUCH HARASSMENT THIS WEEK! Usually, these things are kinda like footnotes to the week, but the shit really hit the fan this week.

Jeff Fager: The longtime 60 Minutes executive producer was ousted, as he didn’t think before sending that angry text. You’ve always got to count to 10 – unless it says “You up?”, and it’s after midnight. Then you go handle your shit. No, here’s what happened: it was reported that Fager liked to touch and grope CBS employees at company parties. When this news broke, he was displeased with how his own network was reporting the investigation into his behavior. So, he fired off a text to CBS News correspondent Jericka Duncan, which was capped off with “Be careful. There are people who lost their jobs trying to harm me and if you pass on these damaging claims without your own reporting to back them up that will become a serious problem.” So, Fager wasn’t fired because of the claims against him. No, he was fired because of his reaction to the claims against him. I think it’s Stephen Covey who promotes the 10/90 Principle, in that life is really just 10% of things you can control, and 90% of how you react to the things you can’t. Guess Fager should’ve read that book.

Les Moonves Update: Man, it was an executive bloodbath over at CBS this week, as Moonves stepped down as Chairman of CBS when the original count of 6 women with claims against him doubled to 12. After resigning, he released a statement denying the allegations, as folks are wont to do in his predicament. If It’s A Wonderful Life taught us anything, it’s that rich people, even when evil, still tend to finish the game rich. That’s exactly what’s happening here, as Moonves is set to receive a severance package worth around $240 million, but it’s on hold pending the results of the investigation against him.

Meanwhile, Moonves’ wife, TV personality and Big Brother host, Julie Chen decided to be a real bitch about things. At the end of last night’s broadcast of Big Brother, she signed off as Julie Chen Moonves – a name she has NEVER used professionally, and it was symbolic in that she was showing her support for her husband. Well, good for you, Julie. You ain’t been nothing but a sell-out your whole career anyway. Seriously, that was her spitting in the faces of all of Les’s accusers, when she knows there could be some validity to all this. After all, she was allegedly his sidepiece while he was still married, and he petitioned the court for an early divorce just so he could be with her. Les Moonves ain’t shit, and neither is she. I really hope CBS boots “Chen Moonves” out on her ass, ’cause everybody knows the only reason she got that Big Brother gig – amongst others – is because of Moonves. Let’s see HER get kicked out of the Big Brother house.

But wait – there’s more! Last week, I told you about how Moonves made it his life’s mission to ruin Janet Jackson’s career after Nipplegate. That’s his thing. He loves to ruin people. Well, Designing Women/Evening Shade creator Linda Bloodworth-Thomason wrote this detailed account of how Moonves kept her shows off CBS, as well as scuttled her $50 million development contract. While she was never sexually harassed by Moonves, she knows people who were, plus he fucked with her money. I usually don’t get this “involved” with a HarassmentWatch subject, but Moonves is really being revealed as quite the piece of shit.

Shane Black Update: So, there was some blowback about the sex offender originally being in the film, but that didn’t stop folks from seeing The Predator, and reporting that it’s not very good. The news that came out this week, however, is that actress Olivia Munn is the one who tipped off the studio to the sex offender’s involvement in the film. And now it seems like she may have been blackballed, because she reached out to the cast to inform them of what she planned to do, and received no support from her male costars. In fact, they all bailed on a group interview that was scheduled at the Toronto International Film Festival. Since that news broke, however, Sterling K. Brown has apologized to her, but it was probably at the urging of the This Is Us producers, as they don’t want that bad juju affecting their ratings.

Norm MacDonald: Sometimes I wish I gave out the WORST Week Ever, as that would most certainly have gone to Norm this week. I mean, how many ways can you fuck up an apology tour? Well, he was determined to find out. So, early in the week, Norm did an interview where he said that he was glad the #MeToo movement was slowing down. He made a statement that Louis CK and Roseanne should get together and talk, because only they understand the experience of losing everything in one day. He said that folks always talk about the victims in these things, but they don’t realize that folks like Louis and Roseanne are basically victims, too. Well, this did NOT go over well, as people felt that he was minimizing what had actually gone down in these two particular cases. He tweeted out an apology, explaining that the 2 comedians were his friends, yet he didn’t condone their actions, nor was his intent to minimize what had occurred. Despite this, his Tuesday appearance on The Tonight Show was cancelled after Jimmy Fallon made him aware that some producers were “in tears” about the thought of him being on the show. Then, he went on The Howard Stern Show, and he doubled down, saying that a person would have to have Down Syndrome to not feel sorry for the victims of sexual assault. So, then he had to apologize for that. He’s apologizing for prior apologies on his apology tour. As they say in the South, “That boy just can’t get to Hell fast enough.”


So Henry Cavill is out as Superman in the DCEU. Oh wait – he’s back in? I can’t even keep track anymore. Apparently they wanted him to film a cameo for SHAZAM!, and he was all “Show me the money!” And when they did show it to him, it was flaccid and disappointing. Then, Cavill proceeded to post some cryptic video of him on Instagram with a Superman figure. Was this him telling us he’s done? That’s the conclusion to which everyone jumped, though there was no real precedent for it. You see, there’s no Superman project in development. right now. While Affleck is probably done as Batman due to his rehab stint, it’s not like DC is working on anything Superman related at the moment. So, the statement released basically said that if/when there’s a project, Cavill would be considered. Man, this is one messy break-up!

Meanwhile, as the fires burned all around us, somehow a rumor got started that Michael B. Jordan was being considered to replace Cavill as Superman. Let that sink in a minute. I feel like the Elite are tired of waiting for the inevitable Race War, and they’ve just decided to nudge things in the right direction to get the shit started. Yes, I know about Earth-23 Superman, but I don’t need Black Superman. Yes, representation matters, but I don’t need Black Superman. The only way I want Michael B. Jordan is if Warner Bros uses the same wack CGI they used to hide Cavill’s mustache in Justice League, but instead uses it to make Jordan White throughout the entire film. It’d be the biggest waste of CGI in movie history. Folks would be like “Why couldn’t they just cast a White guy?” And then there’d be the whole argument of “The best man got the job!” and some folks would be like, “Well, did he?” This is how the world ends, folks. You heard it here first.

All I know is that Cyborg movie ain’t ever happening, so I hope Ray Fisher didn’t spend all that Justice League money. If it did happen, and they did cast Jordan as Superman, I’ve GOT to have a version of this scene somewhere in the film:

Tomorrow is International Batman Day, and I really couldn’t tell you what we’re celebrating. I mean, it started on an anniversary year, but now it’s just an annual day to get a free Batman comic. OK, I’ll take it. It’s also the official launch date for the DC Universe streaming service. We got some DCU news this week, as Derek Mears has reportedly been cast as the suit actor for the Swamp Thing character, while Maria Sten will be Liza Tremaine. As far as content, the series is expected to be a “Hard R”. Also, it was revealed that Titans will feature Robin II, Jason Todd. We got this new pic of the series, and it still does nothing to make me want to watch this show.

In other comics news, Top Cow is planning a relaunch of The Darkness, which was originally a spin-off of Witchblade. Let’s hope it’s better than their recent reboot of Witchblade! To give you some backstory, the Witchblade was one of the powerful artifacts of the Top Cow universe that bonded with strong women over time. Once it got to the 90s, however, all the women’s empowerment went out the window, as it was nothing but a T&A book. While it put artists like Michael Turner on the map, it would be years later that the book gained any real substance.

The Darkness was one of those concepts introduced way too soon. It was a demonic force that, like the Witchblade, was passed down to males, from generation to generation. The power manifests on the bearer’s 21st birthday, but the problem is that the power is passed on at the moment of conception, killing the current host. It’s like that heavy handed 2nd verse of TLC’s “Waterfalls”! So, imagine how much it sucked for Jackie Estacado, a 21 year old mobster, who finds himself as the latest host for the Darkness. I mean, he was a womanizer, but now he couldn’t have sex.

And this is my problem with 90s comics. They wanted to be so edgy, but still remain so chaste, due to the Comics Code Authority. It was bandied about that Jackie couldn’t have sex, or he’d die. Um, condoms? Was this some poorly written AIDS allegory? X-Men tried to do the same thing. Gambit and Rogue are star-crossed because they can’t touch. Gloves and condoms, fool. A horny 13 year old kid can come up with a LOT of ways to make that work, and he was the primary audience for that book.

Anyway, Witchblade was just reimagined with a new host, and ZERO T&A. It’s like they’re not smart enough to realize why people bought that book. Witchblade, as a character, goes in that category with Lady Death and Vampirella, where you know exactly what you’re throwing down your money to read. This new book is just about some boring blonde girl, and I dropped it after one issue. Some concepts can be reimagined. Some can’t. I feel like Witchblade is only gonna work as a T&A book, and Darkness only works as her brooding, on-again, off-again boyfriend.

In TV news, the new cast of Dancing with the Stars was announced this week, and there were some surprises. I don’t watch the show at all, but I still keep up with who’s been tapped for the show. While I don’t know 3/4 of these people (because they’re all either reality show or Disney Channel stars), I do recognize some interesting choices. First, there’s the Ryan Seacrest of Country Music, Mr. Bobby Bones. He’s been branching out into other media, but the guy has a daily morning radio show. I feel like he’s gonna take an early L just to get back to his 37 other jobs. Then there’s 1984 Olympic gold medalist Mary Lou Retton, on whom I’ve had a crush since I was 3 years old. What? She was EVERYWHERE back then. It was like when Bobby Hill had that crush on Kerri Strug. The big one that stood out to me, however, was former Dukes of Hazzard star John Schneider, who was recently in the news because he was trying to get his jail time (for non payment of spousal support) reinstated, as he couldn’t afford to pay his ex-wife. Guess he said, “I can’t pay the bitch, so send me back to jail” – all while his car horn plays “Dixie” as he speeds through the center of town.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • The will reportedly be a death on Modern Family next season, of a “significant character” according to Co-creator Christopher Lloyd. All signs are pointing to Fred Willard’s Frank Dunphy.
  • Game of Thrones star Kit Harington blasted Marvel for not casting gay actors as any of their onscreen heroes. Not really sure what he was going for there. Maybe his manager told him to do it?
  • “They’re robots, bitch.” Expect that line next season, as Jesse Pinkman himself, Aaron Paul, joins the cast of Westworld.
  • The Blue’s Clues reboot, Blue’s Clues & You, has found its new host in Joshua Dela Cruz. That’s for all you parents/perverts out there.
  • The sun continues to shine on former Cosby Show star/more recent Trader Joe’s employee, as he is set to appear on NCIS: New Orleans next season.
  • Shane West is joining Gotham next season as a mysterious new villain. Remember when folks had high hopes for Shane? Man, that was some week!
  • American Gods must be cursed, as the show is about to lose its third showrunner. There are reports that Jesse Alexander was let go by Starz because the show is 6 weeks behind schedule and has gone over budget.
  • I guess we’re really doing this: after the Academy got rid of the “Popular Oscar”, Disney released its For Your Consideration list for Black Panther to Academy voters. Yup, they’re trying to get King T’Challa an Oscar!
  • Since the Roseanne thing didn’t really go as planned, ABC is going back to the well and has picked up the Designing Women reboot. It turns out the series is actually planned as a sequel, which will focus on the next generation of Sugarbaker women – which will be interesting since they were all past menopause by the end of the last series…
  • Rappers Nicki Minaj and Cardi B came to fisticuffs after a party during New York Fashion Week
  • Adult film star Stormy Daniels announced her upcoming book, Full Disclosure, which is supposedly her tell all account of her affair with Donald Trump. If I didn’t read Omarosa’s book, or Woodward’s book, or even Comey’s book, then why the Hell would I read this? I don’t need to read “He produced his turgid Cheeto, which I proceeded to ride, filled with ennui.”
  • X-Men: Extermination #1 saw the death of Scott Summers’ son, Cable – killed by a younger Cable! Oh, and this is the second time Cable has “died” in the past 10 years. Space that shit out, Marvel!

  • Marvel’s trying to get some of the DC Super Hero Girls money, with Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors, which has a toyline launching next month. I just hope these do better than those Star Wars: Forces of Destiny dolls, ’cause those did NOT find an audience.
  • Speaking of DC, there’s a new sheriff in town for the comics division, as it will now report directly to the President of New Warner Bros Global Brands & Experiences, Pam Lifford. Two interesting things here: 1) she’s a Black woman and 2) she used to work for the competition, as she was Disney exec until Marvel CEO Ike Perlmutter used his influence to have her division closed. This should be interesting!

It was a great week for John Legend. First off, he won an Emmy Award for his work on Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert. Now, this would be an amazing accomplishment for anyone, but it was even more so for Legend, as it got him EGOT status: someone who has won a Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Award. While I originally learned the term from 30 Rock, it was apparently coined by Miami Vice‘s Phillip Michael Thomas – like he ever had a chance. That’s like if I said I want to win 3 Olympic gold medals, as I sit on my couch, crunching on Doritos. Anyway, I believe that, at 39, Legend is the youngest person to get an EGOT. And the big news didn’t stop there, as it was also announced that he will be replacing Jennifer Hudson as a coach on The Voice next season. Not too shabby for a former a cappella kid who used to lament the fact that he was just one of the “Ordinary People”. That’s why John Legend had the West Week Ever.

07th Sep2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 9/7/18

by Will

 

I took last week off since it was a 3-day weekend, and y’all never read my shit when you’re watching the clock for your 72 hr orgy, or barbecue, or whatever the Hell it is y’all get into. Then, I took a “mental health day” today because my mental ain’t so healthy lately. So, this is coming out after 5 PM, which means you’ve already left work, and you’re probably pregaming for your 48 hr orgy. I hope ya read it, ’cause we’ve got 2 weeks of stuff to talk about, but I stopped tracking stats long ago. It’s better for the mental health….

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Shane Black: Apparently a scene was removed from The Predator, which contained a cameo by one of Black’s friends, who’s also a registered sex offender. Now, why he thought throwing his friend a job like this was a good idea, I’ll never know. I’m not sure if he’s “loyal” or just “stupid”, but hey, it’s 2018 and shit like that don’t go unnoticed.

Les Moonves Update: While Moonves was allowed to keep his job during the investigation into the sexual harassment claims against him, there are now rumors that he’s seeking a quiet exit from CBS. To add to that, there was an interesting article yesterday about how he made it his life’s mission to destroy Janet Jackson following her “wardrobe malfunction” after the 2004 Super Bowl.

As a “student of pop culture”, I never really had much of an opinion on the wardrobe malfunction. It was one of the few Super Bowls I missed, so I didn’t see it with the rest of you. And while I stanned for JT, I was still more mad at how he blew off his bandmates than for this. It didn’t go unnoticed that he pretty much got out of the whole thing unscathed but, according to the article, this was only because he tearfully approached Moonves about it, which Moonves loved. What a dickhole.

Louis CK Update: Louis returned to the stage in an unannounced set at the Comedy Cellar. From most accounts, his “comeback” wasn’t that great, and now he’s got a new enemy: the owner of the Cellar, Noam Dworman. Dworman claims he was never made aware of Louis’ plans, and he also didn’t appreciate that his club was chosen, as it’s put him in the middle of the controversy. On top of it, he is disappointed that Louis didn’t even address the allegations in his set. To Dworman, what should’ve been a mea culpa, hat-in-hand moment was more of a “Surprise! Here’s business as usual, like nothing happened.” So, it doesn’t seem like the world of comedy is ready to forgive Louis just yet.

Mahoney! Apparently, Steve Guttenberg is going around, saying there’s a new Police Academy movie coming, and I’m gonna need him to stop. The problem is this is a HORRIBLE time for that movie, I don’t care how lovable those guys are. Let’s Be Cops got in at the very last minute that folks were cool with cops. It’ll be quite some time before folks are ready to embrace a Police Academy movie again.

Plus, the franchise came out during a time when we didn’t care about everyone’s opinion. At this point, we’d have the fraternal orders of police weighing in about how they feel disrespected. Fox News would want a boycott for the film that “disparages our heroes!”, and Sheriff David A. Clarke would use it as an excuse to do more rounds on the talk show circuit. And it’s kind sad watching old ass Michael Winslow try to make sounds that I can just download an app to produce. Let that shit go. Give it a few years, and then introduce Mahoney’s kid, who’s joining the academy. I’ll only watch, though, if they “Weekend at Bernie’s” Commandant Lassard, by dragging George Gaynes’s corpse around the whole film.

In TV news, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia started its 13th (!) season this week, in an episode that was…serviceable. First of all, they dealt with the mystery of whether or not Glenn Howerton’s Dennis was coming back, seeing as how his new series, AP Bio, was renewed at NBC. So, to replace Dennis in their circle of friends, the gang recruited…Mindy Kaling? Yeah, it didn’t work for me. Her casting just didn’t feel right. Should’ve been a blonde White chick. A real Fox News type for what they were going for. Dennis looks old as shit. Waitress looks HORRIBLE with that hair. In all, I’m glad the show’s not cancelled, but they just seem out of ideas.

In other TV news, last week we celebrated Power Rangers Day, as the 25th anniversary episode of Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel aired in primetime on Nickelodeon. And it was…OK. It wasn’t as rushed as the Legendary Battle special from Power Rangers Super Megaforce, but it was SUCH a Tommy wankfest that I almost can’t believe it. Yes, I realize that Jason David Frank is basically the patron saint of Power Rangers, but little kids have GOT to be wondering “Who’s this old guy who keeps coming around?” In the episode, Rangers from different dimensions are pulled together to help the current team fight Lord Draven, who’s trying to tear down the barriers between realities. It’s a shame that the current team is so bland. They’re basically Power Rangers Sanka. The only interesting part of Ninja Steel/Super Ninja Steel is watching the creative ways that the production crew come up with to hide the Pink Ranger’s insane ass. No, seriously, it’s INSANE. The special posed SO many questions, but it also pretty much gave some sneak peaks at toys that I’m positive we’re getting from Hasbro next year.

In comic news, it was announced that fan favorite writer, Gail Simone, will become the chief architect of Lion Forge’s Catalyst Prime superhero universe. I’m kinda torn on this one. No, I’m not really torn at all. You see, the Catalyst Prime books aren’t very good. Launched as a universe that featured diverse heroes, and science-based powers, there were some hits (Noble) and quite a few misses (everything else). I only supported them because the old chief architect of the line was a buddy of mine from my comic days, and I always support his stuff. Catalyst, however, just wasn’t hitting the right buttons for me, and I guess it wasn’t for others, as well, as they announced a creative shake-up. And at just the time of that shake-up, my buddy jumped ship to another publisher. So then I felt bamboozled that I had sunk several hundred dollars (Oh, I was ALL IN) into a line that wouldn’t see its original ideas to fruition, nor did it seem like it was guaranteed to stick around. I had no desire to see where Catalyst was going at that point.

Now, to Gail. I like Gail. I do. But she kinda has this undeserved reputation as a “fixer”. As one of the few prominent women in comics, whenever a female comic character needs “fixing”, the fans immediately go “Give her to Gail!” This worked with Birds of Prey. She also did some fan favorite work with Agent X/Deadpool, at a period of time before he was emblazoned on everything in Hot Topic. But I also remember the failures. She couldn’t “save” Wonder Woman, and turned in a run that is pretty much forgotten. She couldn’t “reimagine” Gen13 for the 21st century. And I remember she kinda got in some shit with my friend, Jenn, a few years back for her portrayal of Asian hero Ryan Choi, who was The Atom at the time. So, I wish her well, but I think I’m taking my leave of the Catalyst Prime universe.

Speaking of female comic characters, Entertainment Weekly gave us our first glimpse of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel. I know some of y’all are big Carol Danvers fans (looking at you, Zac), but I just can’t board that train. I do not like Captain Marvel. She’s a character that once held promise, but has been woefully mischaracterized in recent years. This guy articulates exactly how I feel about her. Basically, if you’re desperate for a White feminist icon in comics, she gets the job done, but she is horribly flawed.

I know the movie will be good ’cause they’ll take some liberties. There are lots of MCU characters whose comic versions I loathe (Black Panther, anyone?). I feel she was more interesting as Binary. Hell, she was more interesting as ANY incarnation until her “promotion” to Captain. The House of M story was both the best and worst thing to ever happen to her. It was the best because she was shown a world where she met her true potential, and it inspired her to stop being such a self-pitying fuck-up. It was the worst, though, because she became a social climber, willing to use and/or step on anyone in order to become the best that she could be. She got Rhodey killed, she was WRONG in Civil War II, and she’s pretty much been wrong about every decision she’s made since House of M, but she’s got the Carol Corps fan base behind her, who feel she can do no wrong. I have no problem with flawed characters. Marvel’s FULL of them. In many ways, she’s just a female Tony Stark. My problem is that, for some reason when it comes to her, they refuse to call a spade a spade. She’s promoted as this aspirational hero when she’s really just a fuck-up who’s trying to fake it until she makes it. Whew! Breathe, Will. Anyway, the movie looks good. I just hope it makes me like her as a character, ’cause I sure as Hell don’t like her right now.

Lots of DC Universe streaming news came out, and none of it makes me want to give them my money. First up, we got that logo you see for the Stargirl series. Plus, Timothy Dalton has been cast in Doom Patrol. The service will launch next Saturday, which also happens to be Batman Day. The Titans live action series will launch next month, on October 12th. The show everyone’s waiting for, however – Young Justice: Outsiders – won’t premiere until 2019. So, yeah, good luck with that.

 

Let’s get political for a bit, ’cause it’s 2018, and that’s what we do now. So, an “anonymous” person within the Trump White House wrote this New York Times op/ed about how there are members of the administration who are hard at work for making sure he doesn’t get us all killed. As the article made the rounds, folks were like “Ooh, what a coup!” But that dog don’t hunt for me. I’ve posted this on various social media, but I think it bears repeating here:

Yeah, I couldn’t even finish that article. There’s too many “Sure, he’s insane, but good things have come from this administration” interjections. Plus, y’all only have to keep him in check ’cause you were dumb enough to put him there in the first place. Eat ALL the dicks!

Plus, they are striving REAL hard to make sure you realize whose side they’re on. It’s like “We’re part of the Resistance, but not the Left’s Resistance. Don’t get it twisted.” That distinction shouldn’t matter if the situation is as dire as you claim.

Your whole “Don’t worry. We got this” means absofuckinglutely NOTHING to me seeing as how you created this problem and are now Tony Starking your way out of it. You’re just as culpable, so don’t think this 11th hour play absolves you of that. Remember all the dicks? EAT THEM

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • This Fall, ABC is trying to bring back the TGIF branding (for the third time, mind you) for its Friday night shows. This iteration of the comedy block will include Fresh Off The Boat, Speechless, and the one-hour game show, Child Support. Also, the network is peppering in former TGIF stars as guest stars, as Jaleel White is scheduled to pop up on FOTB (sadly NOT as Urkel), while Ben Savage will appear on Speechless.
  • Mr. Robot is ending after its upcoming 4th season, which is exactly 2.5 seasons after I stopped giving a shit.
  • It was announced that Saturday Night Live‘s season premiere will air September 29th.
  • Emmy Rossum announced that she’s leaving the Showtime series Shameless. While I’ve never seen the show, I know she’s topless a lot in it and, thanks to the Internet, I’ve seen her breasts about 184 times.
  • The new Bachelor will be former San Diego Chargers tight end, Colton Underwood. I refuse to believe that’s his real name, but if it is, he’d better be a Hollywood stuntman who’s a bounty hunter on the side.
  • Fox executives probably let out a collective “FUCK!” this week, as it was announced that Netflix was saving the recently-cancelled ABC series Designated Survivor, which stars former 24 hero Kiefer Sutherland. I guess they’ll have to get back to work on all those non-Jack Bauer ideas they had…
  • Alicia Silverstone’s American Woman has been cancelled at Paramount Network after one season. Meanwhile, the TVLand series Younger will be moving to Paramount Network next season.
  • America’s favorite 80s lesbian, Jo Polniaczek, will soon be putting down the edibles, and dancing over our heads, as Nancy McKeon joins the next cycle of Dancing With The Stars.
  • Insecure and Ballers have been renewed at HBO. I remember liking Insecure, but Ballers feels like Dwayne Johnson is only doing it because one of the creators is a friend who owes money to the mob.
  • Formerly on Fuse and TruTV, Billy Eichner’s Billy on the Street will be returning with new episodes…on Funny or Die’s website. This is like a notch higher than just throwing the shit on Crackle.
  • Henry Cavill will be starring in Netflix’s adaptation of The Witcher. Now, I don’t know much about vidya games, as I owned a Nie-tenda, but didn’t have one of them Sagas. I hear the games are good, but it seems like a demotion to go from Superman to Netflix adaptation series. Maybe the Superman Curse is wearing off, though, as it could be worse: he could have Dean Cain’s career…
  • Former Doctor Who star Matt Smith has been cast in a secret role for Star Wars Episode XI, and folks act like they care, but they don’t really care. They’re just waiting to learn more so they can talk shit about it. I know you Star Wars fans!
  • Dick Wolf’s wallet will soon be getting fatter, as NBC has ordered Law & Order: Hate Crimes, which will spin out of Special Victims Unit. Call me when they get to Law & Order: Jaywalker Elimination Force.
  • In a surprising move for the franchise, Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum are leaving Project Runway to create their own project over at Amazon. Auf wiedersehen!
  • So, according to Michael Moore, our current state of affairs can be blamed on that Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani. According to Moore, when Trump heard that Gwen was making more money as a coach on The Voice than he was making on The Apprentice, he planned to announce a run for president in order to coax more money out of the network. Thanks a lot, Gwen. I guess Tony Kanal’s isn’t the only life you’ve fucked up now…
  • Remember that new Academy Award that was basically gonna be “Best Popular Film”? Yeah, that’s dead already. Womp womp.

This is a tough one this week. When the week started, Fox News was trying to shame former Cosby Show actor Geoffrey Owens because he had been caught working as a bagger at a New York area Trader Joe’s. It turned into a big conversation about how working actors don’t make that much, and how there’s nothing wrong with making an honest living. Over the course of the week, there was backlash against Fox News and against the woman who snuck the pic in the first place. As of yesterday, however, it was reported that Tyler Perry had cast Owens in his OWN series The Haves and Have Nots, and that he was on his way to Atlanta to start a recurring role. So, West Week Ever? Maybe, but Nike was like, “Hold my jock strap.”

You see, Nike chose currently unemployed football star Colin Kaepernick to be the face of their new ad campaign, and the Conservatives lost their shit. One of the roadies for country act Big & Rich went viral for cutting the Nike “Swoosh” off his socks in protest. Folks started burning their Nike products and demanding a boycott. “How could Nike align themselves with someone who disrespects our HEROES?!” If that’s your interpretation of what this whole thing is about, then there’s pretty much no reaching you and you’re just determined to be offended.

Doubling down on their decision, Nike released the following commercial during last night’s NFL season opener:

Sorry, Elvin, but it looks like you’ve been emasculated yet again. It was gonna be a tie, but this commercial “got me in the feels” as you kids like to say. Are YOUR dreams crazy enough? That gave me a lot to chew on. So, Nike had the West Week Ever.

15th Jun2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 6/15/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM):

Chris Hardwick: Thank sweet Baby Jesus it’s finally acceptable to say Chris Hardwick is a piece of shit! I could’ve told you that from back during the Singled Out days. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, his former girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra, posted an essay on Medium detailing the abuse that she suffered during their relationship. Not only was he emotionally abusive to Dykstra, but he also regularly made her have sex with him when she didn’t want to do it. Then, when she finally left him, he used his sway in geek circles to have her blacklisted.

Now, I don’t want to make light of what he did for some personal vendetta. All I’m saying is that none of these allegations surprise me. He always came off as an insecure little man who never got over the fact he was bullied in school. He’s the kind of person who’d keep a Shit List to “get back at his enemies” once he was in a position to do so. I never liked the cut of his jib, and there was just something I couldn’t put my finger on. To say these things online, however, were a nonstarter, ’cause he has something of a deplorable fan base. You know how folks hate the Rick & Morty fans? Well, these are basically the same guys. Say something about him, and they come mock you. Why? Because they’re the guys who’d do the same shit in his position. Anyway, he recently renamed his podcast to ID10T and moved from the Nerdist Network that he created, to the ID10T company that he also created. The Nerdist brand now belongs to Legendary, but he remains the CEO even if it’s just a vanity title at the moment, as he has very little day to day involvement. Still, it will be interesting to see how many folks in the ID10T/Nerdist family leave over these allegations.

So, it ain’t looking good for folks who assumed the Disney/Fox acquisition was a done deal. On the heels of the court approving the AT&T/Time-Warner merger, Comcast has submitted an offer for Fox for $65 billion, in an all-cash deal. While the cash aspect might be unattractive, due to the taxes involved, the deal is still worth more than Disney’s offer of $52.4 billion in stock. Plus, to sweeten the deal, Comcast has offered to pay the $1.5 billion “breakup fee” that Fox would have to pay Disney for backing out of their negotiations. So, it’s currently Disney’s game to lose, as they’ll need to come back with a more attractive offer. There’s a chance, though, that the X-Men and Fantastic Four aren’t “coming home” as soon as many previously assumed.

While things for Disney/Marvel are sort of in a holding pattern, things over at Warner Bros/DC Comics are crazy sauce right now! First off, President of DC Entertainment and President of Warner Bros Consumer Products, Diane Nelson, has officially left the company. She reportedly went on a leave of absence back in March to attend to family matters, but now it appears she will not be returning to her post. Insiders stress that she made the decision to leave, and wasn’t ousted.

But wait, there’s more! Earlier this week, it was reported that the Chief Creative Officer, Geoff Johns, who worked closely with Nelson, would also be leaving the company. His CCO role will now be added to DC Publisher Jim Lee’s plate, while he’s being given something of a consolation production deal at Warner Bros, called Mad Ghost Productions. Unlike Nelson, it seems the writing was on the wall for Johns. The studio wasn’t happy with the response to Justice League, which he produced, not to mention the majority of the DCEU slate. In January, Johns sort of lost his seat at the table when Warner Bros promoted Walter Hamada to oversee the comic book movie division.

Still, I can’t help but think these two departures are related. Were they banging each other? Are they splitting off to form their own company, like Sterling Cooper did that time on Mad Men? I’m honestly not surprised about the Nelson thing, really. I have no clue what she’s going through, but I remember how…unprepared she seemed to be at the “DC in D.C.” event back in January. Sure, it was the inaugural edition of an untested concept, but her speech was more disjointedly off-the-cuff than prepared, and she struck me as someone who probably couldn’t have run a PTA meeting, let alone a company like DC Entertainment. Maybe it was just a bad morning for her, but it was clear that whatever she eventually left to deal with in March was already going on back then.

On the comics side of things, though, there’s some interesting things on the horizon. This week, we got more information about the upcoming event, Heroes In Crisis. Written by Tom King, who I hear has been doing some amazing stuff with the Batman book (and who I can confirm did an amazing job on Sheriff of Babylon), the story focuses on PTSD in the superhero community. In order to deal with it, and get heroes mentally prepared to get back on the streets, the DC Trinity of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman established Sanctuary. The facility is something of a secret amongst the hero community, and anonymity is kept because it keeps no patient records. Suddenly, however, some recent patients turn up dead, and a murder mystery is ignited.

I like the sound of this storyline because it’s something we don’t think about too often. Sure, there’s always a danger in incorporating real world events into comics (I’m looking at you, post-9/11 crying Dr. Doom!), but I could see how this would work. I also like how it seems like a more grounded story, where change might occur, but it isn’t necessarily on the “The Universe Will Never Be The Same!” level of most crossover events. It sort of reminds me of Identity Crisis, which is a story I didn’t hate as much as some others. Sure, I thought the ending/reveal was something of a cop out, but it also didn’t seem like a huge betrayal because I wasn’t all that familiar with the character. I kinda hate that they managed to slip “Crisis” into the title, as DC execs are bound to know how triggering that is for fans. Still, I like the more character-based stories, and I don’t feel you have to go to space just to make a storyline seem like it “matters”. So, I’ll definitely be picking this up. And then reading it 2 years from now, because that’s how far behind I am on my DC reading.

They said the Revolution would not be televised, but they were wrong. What they didn’t tell us was that it would end, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Yes, it is with heavy heart that I report that, after 28 seasons, production has ceased on The Jerry Springer Show. In a deal reported this week, The CW has acquired the show’s library to air in the afternoon spot being vacated by cancelled The Robert Irvine Show on their stations. While the door is open for possible tapings down the road, new episodes of the show are no longer in production. I will never fulfill a lifelong dream of sitting in an audience of drunken Spring Break college kids, yelling “Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!”

I mean, I get it. Jerry’s 74 years old, and he’s made his money. When the show hit its peak, the guests seemed like a weird microcosm of American society. We’d watch the show and ask each other “Where do they find these people?” Now, we look around us, and that IS America. We won! No, no we didn’t. We’re a heartbeat away from Idiocracy. You could blame Springer for ushering in this era, or you could credit the show for giving us a preview of what we would become. We had the chance to stop it, but we decided we’d rather laugh at the cousin-fucking chair throwers. This just led to not only the reality show craze, but also inspired the World Wrestling Entertainment “Attitude Era”.

What was always interesting to me was Springer’s pivot. I’ve been with the show from the very beginning, and you wouldn’t recognize those first few seasons, where he was doing his best Phil Donahue impression. He had serious, sometimes heartwarming topics, like little kids with HIV and how they were coping. Then, in the mid 90s, the fights began. The chairs took to the skies. The security budget increased. At some point, they redesigned the set to look like a back alley and installed a stripper pole. The lower they sank, the more popular they became. It was the smart, conservative diligent student who realized she’d be more popular if she said “Screw homework!” and showed a bit more cleavage. It got so bad that the show came under fire for its most outrageous bits, prompting them to do more cutaways, yet it provided more footage to fuel their Girls Gone Wild-esque Jerry Springer: Too Hot For TV video series.

I’ve often wondered which was the REAL Jerry Springer: the early nuDonahue OR the modern-day White Trash ringmaster? The man’s earlier political career was tarnished when a raid on a massage parlor revealed a check that he had used to pay for a prostitute (People used checks to pay for hookers? Can you imagine how many of those had to have bounced?! Man, I miss the old days!). So, was the gentle, caring early Springer something of an image restoration, and in his older age he decided he just didn’t care anymore? Or is he still that Springer, but he’s essentially doing all this because it’s what the people want?

I’ve also been impressed that the production aspect of the show is one of show business’s greatest kept secrets. I mean, it’s been almost 30 years, and we still don’t really know how they pull it off. We know how wrestling is done. We know how some of the greatest magic tricks are done. But we still don’t really know what goes into producing an average episode of The Jerry Springer Show. Where DO they find these people? Are they paid? Are they actors? If they are actors, none of them have ever made it big. There’s no footage of a young Benicio Del Toro on stage for his love of midget strippers. Sure, there have been stories. For example, Lunchbox, who’s a morning radio personality as part of country radio’s The Bobby Bones Show, went on Springer when he was in high school. He admits he lied, though, about his age and his reason for being there. So, that’s one case. From that, we learn they didn’t vet their guests that well, but then why would they? Some of those stories are so fantastical that you wouldn’t want to prove them false, and there’s no real legal ramification for putting it out there without researching it. I mean, it’s entertainment, not a scientific breakthrough needing FDA approval.

Anyway, it’s truly the end of an era, which may not be a bad thing. Nobody could really keep up with Springer’s outlandish show, even though they tried. Some eventually found their niche, like Maury ruling the paternity test roost. The latest trend in syndicated daytime talk shows are known as “conflict talkers”. This is your Steve Wilkos, your Robert Irvine, your Jeremy Kyle. It’s a genre of show where middle-aged White men (usually muscle-bound and/or former cops) yell at poor people. “You need to respect your mom!” “Close your legs and open your eyes!” “Why won’t you let him see his kids?!” In all honesty, it’s a natural progression from the Springer era. Everyone had their fun back then, and this is the wind-down, where you’re forced to look back at what you did. Meanwhile, the more outrageous Springerites have moved over to the world of court shows, just as they used to migrate to the dating shows back at the turn of the century.

My grandmother used to love Springer. She’d pretend she was appalled by it, but her 85 year old self loved to watch people fight. Not boxing fights, but visceral “real people” altercations. She also used to love any episode of Married…with Children when the Bundys grew closer by throwing down with another family. She was an odd bird at times, and I loved her for it. She’s been gone for almost 20 years now, but this is kind of the end of an era of something we shared. Thanks for the memories, Jerry. Until we meet again, you take care of yourself, and we’ll try to take care of each other.

Over the past few years, I’ve had the honor and pleasure of guesting on quite a few friends’ podcasts. One that was especially good to me was the Cold Slither Podcast Network. I was invited on pretty early, and they always supported me during the Will’s World of Wonder years. So, I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that CSPN chairman/president/CEO, Classick Materia, announced his retirement from the network last week. Now known to the world simply as “Jamal”, his life is in a different place than when he started the Cold Slither Podcast, and then expanded it into a full network with a slate of shows. I’ve been on the flagship show, I’ve been on Comic Book Chronicles, and I’ve had some of the most fun on The Classick Team-Up. So, I do feel like I’m losing a small part of myself here. Still, I understand his decision and wish him well. And it’s not like the CSPN is going away. No, he’s leaving it in capable hands. Still, I don’t know those dudes, so they ain’t asking me on anytime soon!

It’s not all endings, however. We’ve also got some beginnings! My pal Kevin Hellions runs TeamHellions.com, and he’s got a new thrifting column called T.H.R.I.F.T. that you need to check out. When I was doing Thrift Justice, I always meant to do “Tips from the road”, giving folks advice on how to find stuff. Instead, it turned into “Look at my cool shit!” Kevin here has excelled where I fell short. Great stuff!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Remember when you bought a new outfit that really didn’t fit your personality, but were excited to wear it to school because you thought it would make you cool? But, instead, everyone just laughed at you? That’s pretty much what happened to IHOP this week, when they announced that they were temporarily changing their name to IHOb, for International House of Burgers. Apparently they’ve got some new steak burger line they’re trying to promote, and this is what their genius marketing people came up with. It’s sad because it shows a lack of commitment. Last week, when the change was teased, nowhere did they mention it was temporary. We got the impression they’d be updating signs, menus, etc. Now that we know it’s just a temporary marketing ploy, they just look sad.
  • Not everything in Washington sucks these days, as the Capitals won the Stanley Cup finals. There was a parade and everything. I’m not a sports guy, so I missed all that, but I know folks are happy. They’d be happier if it were football or baseball instead of hockey, but they’ll take what they can get.
  • CBS continues its retooling of the upcoming Cedric The Entertainer-starring sitcom, The Neighborhood. When I did my upfronts post, I mentioned that star Josh Lawson had been replaced by New Girl‘s Max Greenfield. At the time, my only comfort was knowing that Dreama Walker would be on the show. Well, that’s over, as she’s been replaced by 2 Broke Girls‘ Beth Behrs. I already had issues with the one-note nature of the show, and these recasts don’t fill me with any additional confidence.
  • Somehow, author James Patterson and former President Bill Clinton were paired together to write a novel. And someone, somewhere thought it would be a good idea to send them on a book tour on the tail end of the #MeToo movement. I take it that person is currently looking for work. In a pseudo-contentious interview with NBC’s Craig Melvin, Clinton said that he never apologized to former intern/cigar holder Monica Lewinsky, nor does he feel he owes her an apology – all of this while Patterson sat idly by, with “I just wanted to talk about my book” clearly plastered across his face.
  • The Miss America Pageant will be eliminating the swimsuit competition, at which point I feel we should just call a spade a spade and get rid of the whole thing. It’s not that I feel women need to be objectified in swimwear, but it’s that I feel the pageant as a whole doesn’t really offer much more than that. It’s all just surface appraisals, so why start acting like you care about a woman’s character and all that? It was founded in 1921, so do it til 2021 and wrap that shit up with the rest of the historical artifacts.
  • FX has renewed Atlanta for season 3. I actually finally finished season 2 over the weekend, and I would have had no problem if it had ended as something of a 2-season “experiment”. I felt season 2 was weird solely for the sake of being weird. Glover deftly handles that sort of material, but I just wanted some episodes I didn’t have to analyze or Google to get the whole picture. Considering season 2 was “Robbin’ Season”, which saw everyone have something taken away from them, I really hope season 3 is a little more positive for all involved.
  • TBS reversed its renewal of the Conan O’Brien-produced sitcom People of Earth. It had been renewed for a 3rd season last fall, with the season already written, but the show’s creator took to Twitter to report that it wouldn’t be shot. This makes me worry for The Detour, which is a recently-renewed favorite of mine, also on TBS, which was never a ratings darling.
  • The Tony Awards were cattier than ever this year, as Robert DeNiro said “Fuck Trump” on the live telecast, while Neil Patrick Harris started a Twitter feud with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star Rachel Bloom. And a bunch of shows won some awards, but none of them were Hamilton, so nobody outside the theatre world cared.
  • Keiynan Lonsdale is leaving his role of Kid Flash on both The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow, reportedly for “personal reasons”. Yeah, I’ve got nothing snarky to say there. He seems like a good kid.
  • Bill Cosby’s wife, Camille, is reportedly ready to file for divorce. Bitch, you had 30-plus years to leave him. Bye!
  • The showrunners for Star Trek: Discovery, Aaron Harberts and Gretchen J. Berg, have been ousted, with Alex Kurtzman taking over as showrunner for season 2. Half of the season has already been completed, but the pair were accused of budget overruns, as well as mistreatment of writing staff. Akiva Goldsman, who came on as executive producer last season will also not be returning.
  • Silver & Black, the Silver Sable/Black Cat Spider-Man spinoff film that nobody wanted, has lost its release date, and has been delayed indefinitely. I guess they’re taking notes from the Universal Fancon folks…
  • It’s a confusing story, so I’m not even going to try to make sense of it. Let’s just say that Stan Lee has been granted a restraining order against his supposed business partner Key Morgan. Morgan has served as Lee’s “caretaker” since the death of Lee’s wife, but many suspect he is responsible for elder abuse of Lee. This story has been going for the last 6 months, and only seems to get crazier.
  • We got three trailers last week worth talking about. I’m running short on time, so I’ll use the In Living Color review scale. Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 (Hated it!); The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (Hated it!); Bumblebee (Two Snaps Up!)
  • Speaking of trailers, though, here’s one for a movie, Hearts Beat Loud, that I’d really like to see. It’s out now, but nobody’s gonna see it, so hopefully it finds life on DVD/streaming.

Here comes the swerve! You know how one of the four in the intro pic gets the West Week Ever? Not today, suckas! I really should’ve written a post last week, ’cause I was scared I wouldn’t get to do this. I mean, nothing really happened in the world of pop culture last week, but this week was something of a shitshow. Still, nothing GOOD happened like this:

Charlotte “Charley” Bruce West was born last Tuesday at 10:33 PM, at 7 lbs and 1 oz. She was originally due May 30th, so you can see she’s pretty stubborn (she didn’t get that from me!). While her older sister took a good 24 hours to come put, this delivery was shorter than Avengers: Infinity War. Her mom didn’t even have time to get an epidural, ’cause she’s a warrior like that!

Anyway, I now have two kids – two daughters at that. I walk around my house, mumbling “Two kids…two kids.” It’s much more difficult than I thought it would be. I mean, changing a diaper while the older one is climbing on your back? It’s like a demented reality show! Anyway, I now have two kids. My mom only had one, so she can’t tell me shit. Every time she opens her mouth, I’m like “Two kids. I won.” So, to me, that’s the best thing that happened in popular culture the past 2 weeks. You can have your Stanley Cup and your CMT awards. I’ve got Charley, and she had the West Week Ever.

25th May2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 5/25/18

by Will

HarassmentWatch(TM)

Mario Batali Update – The celebrity chef is now officially under criminal investigation by the NYPD for allegations against him for sexual misconduct. He will be bought out of his restaurant group by July 1st. Meanwhile, he must’ve been the backbone of The Chew, as ABC has cancelled the series (following his ouster) in order to expand Good Morning America to 3 hours. Anyway, when the allegations first came out, Batali said that they pretty much lined up with behavior he’d exhibited in the past, so there’s no real denial here.

Luc Besson – The French director, probably best known for Léon: The Professional, has been accused of rape by an actress, who said that Besson put something in her tea during a meeting. She lost consciousness, only to wake up to find Besson fondling and penetrating her. He allegedly fled the hotel, leaving her a wad of cash. French police are investigating the allegations, while Besson is in denial mode.

Jeffrey Tambor Update – In a New York Times interview with the cast of Arrested Development, costar Jessica Walter recounted a time when Tambor was verbally abusive to her – which resulted in a bunch of the male costars basically mansplaining and coming to Tambor’s defense. Costar Jason Bateman later had to walk back his remarks on Twitter after folks pointed out that he was basically minimizing Walter’s experience. Not a good look for a show promoting its return (May 29th on Netflix), but I sadly doubt it’ll really matter to many.

Morgan Freeman – What? NO! You don’t say! Anyway, the famed narrator/actor has been accused of sexual harassment by 8 different women. He would frequently comment on production assistants’ figures, and even tried to lift one woman’s skirt to see if she was wearing underwear. He issued a statement that he apologized “to anyone who felt uncomfortable or disrespected” by his actions. Whatever. Dude is an 80 year old man who wears an earring. If you don’t realize he’s a guy who’s still “trying to get it in”, then of course you’re surprised. Still, he was dating his stepgranddaughter at one point, so nothing he does sexually surprises me anymore. I wrote him off, like, ten years ago.

Harvey Weinstein Update – Could this be the end of HarassmentWatch? The man who started it all, who inspired the #MeToo Movement, will officially be charged with a sex crime, and surrendered to the NYPD this morning. “Surrendered to the NYPD”. Yeah, I get he’s an asshole, but they make it sound like he’s a serial killer who’s been on the lam. Anyway, as we’re learning, taking him off the streets isn’t gonna stop this stuff from happening. This is basically Hydra at this point: cut off the head, and 2 more will appear.

Sigh. I really didn’t want to have to talk about this. Like, I’m really kind of exhausted by it, and I found myself ashamed of a lot of people because of it. Yet, here we are:

Last Friday, Cartoon Network released a video announcing ThunderCats Roar, which is a new take on the ThunderCats franchise. And 30-40 year old male Internet LOST. ITS. SHIT.

“It looks like shit! Why does it look like Steven Universe?!”

“I hate this CALARTS style! Why even call it ThunderCats?”

“They’re trying to do another Teen Titans Go!

Those are some of the tamer examples of what’s out there. At the end of the day, a bunch of grown men were making it their mission in life to make sure the world knew of their displeasure at the cat people cartoon. I sat there, reading these remarks, thinking, “Don’t y’all have prostate exams to schedule or something?” Seriously, the greatest trick the Devil ever played was creating the Internet and convincing everyone that their opinions matter (he said ironically on his vanity project blog). This was not created for the old school fan. This is an attempt to make new fans. And I’ve heard folks say “Well, how dare they make a show that’s NOT for the fans?” Probably because they figure you have lives to attend to, instead of obsessing over shit like this. Let me back up a bit, though, so you can understand where I’m coming from with this.

Unlike most people my age, the 80s mean very little to me. Yeah, I know I claim to be “pop culture guy”, and I was born in ’81, but I really didn’t glom onto much that the 80s had to offer. When it comes to the 80s, I care about Knight Rider, Small Wonder, and Night Court. That’s about it. I actually had more of a sophisticated palette as a child than I do now. During that decade, I was pretty much obsessed with public television, the local news, and Murder, She Wrote. I’m not kidding. When I was 3, my favorite show was Murder, She Wrote. What? I had old parents. Anyway, most of y’all have all these fond memories of G.I.Joe, ThunderCats, He-Man, etc, but I do not. Just didn’t watch them. Sidebar – most of these were weekday afternoon cartoons, and I used to carpool with a teacher who had to stay late, so I never got home early enough after school to watch most of those shows. My cartoon pop culturedom didn’t come to fruition until the 90s, as nothing really resonated with me until the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles era. That’s why I actually like the Slimer & The Real Ghostbusters seasons. That’s why I prefer the DiC G.I. Joe (“Got to get tough! Yo Joe!”) to the Sunbow era. And I was just cynical enough, even at that young age, to realize that, at the end of the day, they were just dumb cartoons.

A lot of folks, however, were introduced to these franchises as younger children, so they shaped their development. They have Christmas memories about getting the toys, and sometimes have some faded Polaroids as proof. Since the properties are so intertwined with their own development, folks take these things to heart and get fiercely protective of them. They also, however, never learned to let them go. I find this a lot with Star Wars fans, especially when discussing how The Last Jedi disappointed them. I liked the movie well enough, even if I thought Finn was wasted and Rose was an unnecessary character who only served to accompany Finn on his B plot. These people were introduced to Star Wars at a young age, it shaped their love of film/fantasy/slave girls and never thought they’d get more. Then, Lucas surprised them with a prequel trilogy. The less said about that the better, but they survived it all, and figured that’s all they’d get. THEN, Disney bought the franchise and started giving them NEW Star Wars. The thing that shaped them, but kept disappointing them like a deadbeat dad, continued to pop into their lives, with the promise of a return to the days of old. But, you can’t go home again.

These fans look to these things as comfort food – familiar guideposts that never change, and they can always return to them as “home base” in Life’s game of tag. As such, when they do change, they turn on them because they feel betrayed. Still, these concepts have to change and evolve or they become stagnant. People claim they want new ideas, but when they get them, they decide they just want more of the same. G.I. Joe fans are constantly saying “The line’s dead. Hasbro’s doing nothing with the property.” Well, good. ‘Cause Lord knows we don’t need an 85th version of Snake-Eyes. My generation seems to forget that there was a G.I. Joe before Cobra and Duke and Snake-Eyes even entered the picture. That generation doesn’t get to rant as much because the Internet came along and frightened them, but they’re out there. I also feel like there should be a Joe after the Cobra era. The G.I. Joe vs Cobra era has lasted, intermittently, for 36 years. That’s 36 years of fucking Snake-Eyes. I’m sorry, but a mute ninja just isn’t that cool anymore in 2018. The same folks lamenting the death of the line are also the ones who are basically saying “Fuck the kids! This is MINE!” Just as with comics, if you don’t attract a new audience, the thing you love will die right along with you. Many, I feel, wouldn’t have a problem with that.

Can you imagine the things folks would shit on had the Internet come along just a few years earlier? Take Batman ’89, for instance. Sure, it’s thematically in line with his pulp roots, but it’s NOTHING like Batman ’66, which was what most folks at the time were more familiar with. His suit’s black, there are no POW! effects, and he doesn’t have a Robin. “Why even call it ‘Batman’?” they’d ask. I listened to a podcast yesterday where they spent a good chunk of time railing against the new ThunderCats because it seems to “dumb down” the franchise by going the Teen Titans Go! route – a show the hosts despised because the characters in that show aren’t heroic and don’t act in ways that children should be emulating. They described it as an animated It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, because all of the characters act like assholes. I think that’s quite the stretch, but whatever. These guys hated TTG for its horrible “message”, yet in the same episode went on to laud the controversial comic book Jawbreakers (I’m not even getting into that, but trust me it’s not important for my point) because, and I quote, “Some things should just be fun. Not everything needs a moral.” Yeah, that’s moving the goalposts like a motherfucker.

Let me tell you something about your 80s cartoons. Bear with me here, it’s going to sound like the result of rogue Googling, but I actually went to school for this. I have an Ivy League degree in human development, with a focus on early childhood. Contrary to popular belief, these shows weren’t designed in some animation lab to bring pleasure to all the little girls and boys. No, the properties tended to be owned by toy companies (for example, Hasbro owns G.I. Joe), and the shows were merely vehicles for selling product. In the early 80s, thanks to President Ronald Reagan, the Federal Communications Commission deregulated commercial time limits in children’s programming. This led to the development of what is now known as the “program-length commercial”. He-Man? Program-length commercial. GoBots? Program-length commercial. Since toy companies were no longer bound to traditional commercials to advertise to children, the sky was the limit for toy companies. Whatever they wanted to sell, they could just line up a Japanese animation studio to put together a series for them. You grew up engrossed in the never-ending battle between G.I. Joe and Cobra, not realizing they were just subconsciously grooming you to ask your parents for the Trouble Bubble and the Terrordrome at Christmas. The laws kinda changed in the 90s, but the biggest change was that you couldn’t air commercials for a product while its show was on, because kids supposedly aren’t sharp enough to tell when a show ends and a commercial begins. This is why you won’t see a commercial for Power Rangers toys during an episode of Power Rangers.

All of this is to say that these properties don’t come from some wholesome place to remind you of your childhood. When they don’t have anything else to sell, they pack up and move on to the next thing. When you get butthurt about something from your childhood changing for a new audience, it basically means the company isn’t making enough money off your nostalgia anymore and they’re going where those dollars are. This isn’t to minimize your memories or feelings, but it is to remind you of a simple truth that corporations aren’t people and they ultimately have no obligation to you.

Now, back to ThunderCats. The original show? Not that great. It’s middling 80s fare, meant to sell toys. I hear the 2011 reboot was actually pretty good. I could get into the whole “Well, if you watched it, it wouldn’t have been cancelled” argument, but there are other factors at play, like toy sales and Cartoon Network’s erratic scheduling. Still, they tried doing it “the fans’ way”, and for it didn’t work out for whatever reason. So now they’re trying something new. And there’s also something to be said for not judging a book by its cover. As much as folks claim to hate the art style that’s being mimicked, folks love those shows. I never hear a bad thing about Steven Universe. And even though The Adventures of Gumball looks lazy at times, it might be one of the smartest shows on television. I’m not even joking when I say that (check out the episode on privilege to see what I’m talking about). One thing people need to internalize is that EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE FOR YOU. It’s not to say that things should be exclusionary, but it’s OK to see something, say “It’s not for me, but good luck to them”, and walk away. This demand that everything be the way everyone wants it is insane. Life isn’t fucking Burger King. Instead, I’m seeing folks, who clearly have a history of being bullied and mocked, mocking the ThunderCats Roar creator for his man bun and shit like that. You’re just undermining your whole stance when you sink to physical attacks to express your displeasure. Anyway, I’ll be checking out the show, even when Cartoon Network decides to do something stupid with the scheduling, like air all the episodes in one day or some shit.

In a major coup for the Fox network, they’ve struck a deal with WWE to air SmackDown Live through 2024, worth a reported $1 billion. They would begin airing the show in 2019 when the NBCUniversal contract expires, while RAW will continue to air on USA Network. This might be the shot in the arm the SmackDown brand needs, as having it and RAW on the same network, two nights apart, just didn’t make it seem that special. In fact, I always felt that RAW‘s claim to fame was the fact that it was live, so SmackDown being pretaped was somewhat interesting to me. When it switched to a live format, it just became more of a Not RAW to me. I totally applaud this move, however, as I’ve been saying that there needed to be a free, broadcast WWE show ever since SmackDown moved to cable. A lot of folks don’t realize that, during the UPN years, SmackDown was the highest rated show in Spanish-speaking households. There is clearly a wrestling audience that are either cord cutters or simply rely on over the air TV, and they deserve a show of their own. This is a good chance to differentiate the brand from RAW as much as possible.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • The sequel to The LEGO Movie has a title and release date. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part will be released February 8th, 2019.
  • It’s being reported that Amazon may save The Expanse, which was just cancelled at Syfy.
  • Speaking of Syfy, the Nope, No Superman Here series Krypton was renewed for a second season, the day before its first season finale aired.
  • Word on the street is singer Ariana Grande and Saturday Night Live‘s Pete Davidson are now dating. Well, good for him!

  • We got a poster for DC’s SHAZAM!, starring Zachary Levi. I mean, this character means so little to me that I’m not going to really critique its “accuracy”, but the poster does nothing for me. It’d be find if it were promoting a lighthearted SHAZAM! on The CW next fall, but it’s not dynamic enough for a movie that they expect me to leave my house and pay money for.
  • One of the last question marks for the 17-18 TV season, Fox has officially cancelled airplane sitcom LA to Vegas.

  • YouTuber/TRL correspondent Liza Koshy has been announced as the host of Nickelodeon’s Double Dare revival this summer. Original host, Marc Summers, will offer “color commentary” – probably while hidden behind several layers of Plexiglass, while wearing 4 layers of clothes to make sure no slime touches him. Anyway, the show debuts June 25th at 8 PM.
  • Speaking of TRL, the show was renamed last month to Total Request List, since the show is now taped and is no longer live.
  • Jake Gyllenhaal is in talks to play the villain Mysterio in the sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming. I’m still hoping it’s called Spider-Man: Sadie Hawkins Day, with the trilogy being rounded out by either Spider-Man: Prom or Spider-Man: Graduation Day.
  • Paramount removed the next Transformers sequel from its release schedule entirely, supporting reports of an upcoming franchise cinematic reboot.
  • The Obamas just signed a production deal with Netflix, which will see them produce docu-series, films, and both scripted and unscripted series for the streaming service. I need to send them my pitch for a revival of Breaker High!
  • Lifetime series UnREAL‘s fourth, and final, season will actually debut on Hulu, and it’s unclear if it will ever get a release date on Lifetime. I guess this is the 21st century version of “moving a show to Saturday”…

  • Unlike most people my age, I have no real affinity for the Muppets, so imagine my surprise when I found myself really excited for The Happytime Murders. I’m that guy who’ll watch anything with Melissa McCarthy (Sorry, not sorry), and it goes a LOT of places I never thought I’d see them go.
  • Deadpool 2 dethroned Avengers: Infinity War at the weekend box office, taking in $125 million.
  • To celebrate the franchise’s move from webisodes/DVD movies to full-fledged TV series, DC Super Hero Girls has undergone a makeover. I’m not really a fan, but it ain’t for me, so…
  • Logan director James Mangold has been tapped to direct a Star Wars spinoff about Boba Fett. That is until Kathleen Kennedy fires him in six months and replaces him with Todd Phillips or something.

I’ll bet a lot of y’all got to this point and expected to see Deadpool 2. Well, I haven’t seen it yet, plus it’s my site and I’ll do what I want! No, we’re going to talk about The Middle.

Debuting Fall 2009, The Middle came along and spent 10 seasons simply flying under the radar. For those who did check it out, though, they were introduced to the quirks of the Heck family. Neurotic Frankie, who’s still trying to find some meaning in her life outside of being a wife and mother. Stoic Mike, who hides his emotions as he spends his days as a manager at the quarry. Peppy, optimistic, yet awkward, Sue, who greets every day with a smile, even as the world continues to try to tear her down. Slacker son Axl, and Brick…well, what can I say about Brick? As the youngest son, he’s clearly on the spectrum, but he also has weird quirks, like repeating words in a whisper and licking cars.

Anyway, the show captured everything about living in “the middle”: they lived in the middle of the country, they were middle class, we saw Sue struggle to gain attention as the middle child, etc. It was never a “watercooler show”, with folks going to work the next day, asking each other “Did you see last night’s The Middle?” Still, it was a fine example of what ABC does best: offer sitcoms showing the different definitions of “family”. As the world seemed to be working against them, we were always rooting for the Hecks to get through it all. It never got too political (much to several of the stars’ chagrin), nor too preachy. It was really about making it one day at a time, and living to fight another day in this game called Life.

I’d been saying that the show was living on borrowed time for the past few seasons. While nothing about the show’s quality had changed, it didn’t really seem to be going anywhere. It lived right there in the middle. There were no real highs and no real lows. I think that’s probably indicative of how television has changed. We now expect some sort of huge cliffhanger or something to get us to come back for the next episode. Gone are the days of old, where every episode of a show was pretty much the same. The Duke boys were pretty much always evading Roscoe and thwarting Boss Hogg. With ALF, he always wanted to eat the cat, and had to be hidden from the neighbors. Every episode was pretty much the same for those shows, but they still managed to entertain and bring in an audience. Nowadays, though, everything has to have a death or a paternity mystery to keep folks on the hook. The Middle never played those games, which is probably why its ratings were solidly in…the middle.

When this season was announced as its last, I thought it was great that they announced it early so that the show would be able to take its well-earned victory lap. I mean, ten seasons is NOTHING to sneeze at in this day and age! And then ABC came along and screwed the pooch by giving the show’s timeslot to the Roseanne revival. I get it. I know it’s a business, and I get why they did it. Some might even say that, as a lead-in, Roseanne actually helped The Middle‘s ratings in this final season. OK, but ratings don’t matter for a show in its final season. The ad rates have been set, and it’s not vying for renewal. It could’ve gotten no viewers, and they would’ve just moved it to Saturdays. Plus, it ended up with something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before: an hour-long series finale that started on the half hour. There are certain unspoken rules in scheduling, and one thing is that you don’t set an hour-long show at 8:30. Hour-long shows, traditionally, start at the top of the hour, unless delayed by a sporting event or something. Anyway, it didn’t seem to hurt it, as the ratings for the finale were up, while the ratings for Roseanne’s finale were down. Womp womp.

How was the series finale? Well, it was perfectly in the middle. I mean, the show ended doing what it did best. We got typical Heck shenanigans, we got a flash forward, we got some payoff for some secondary characters (I see you, Brad!), and we even got a wedding. Still, the episode wasn’t about the wedding. It wasn’t even about the build-up to the wedding. The wedding was just something that happened, much like everything else in the show. You knew going into it not to expect a big death or anything like that, because that’s not the show’s bread and butter. It would’ve been disingenuous to have a Good Times finale, with the Hecks finally getting out of financial servitude and moving to a better neighborhood. No, everything they had was just right for them. It was perfectly in the middle, and they always had each other to lean on. I don’t think they’d have wanted it any other way. So, for that reason, The Middle‘s series finale had the West Week Ever.

18th May2018

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review – 5/18/18 (Upfronts Edition)

by Will

HarassmentWatch (TM)

Nev Schulman – The creator/producer/host of Catfish: The TV Show has been accused of sexual misconduct, resulting in MTV halting production on the show. A former Catfish…contestant? guest? I dunno. A woman who had appeared on the show in 2015 said that Schulman didn’t believe she was actually a lesbian, and propositioned her for sex. This was all in a video that she posted to YouTube last week. Schulman denies the accusations, but production has been halted until the investigation is completed.

Brad Kern – The showrunner for NCIS: New Orleans has stepped down amid reports that surfaced from December 2016 when he was the subject of two different human resources investigations. He was reported to have undergone sensitivity training, but I guess it didn’t take. He’ll still get paid, though, as he’ll remain on the payroll as a consultant. Interestingly enough, this happened on the heels of recently departed NCIS star Pauley Perrette tweeting that she had experienced physical abuse on set, which motivated her to leave the show.

Before we get to all the Upfronts stuff, let’s take a look at a few of the cancellations/renewals that have occurred since last week’s post.

Cancellations

CBS: 9JKL; Me, Myself & I; Scorpion; Kevin Can Wait; Superior Donuts

ABC: Inhumans; The Mayor; Ten Days In The Valley; Kevin (Probably) Saves The World; The Crossing; Deception; Alex, Inc.

NBC: Rise; Great News

Renewals

CBS: Elementary; Man With A Plan; Instinct; Life In Pieces; Criminal Minds

ABC: Fresh Off The Boat; Black-ish; Station 19; For The People; American Housewife; How To Get Away With Murder; Splitting Up Together; Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (for a 13-episode season to debut in Summer ’19)

NBC: The Blacklist; Brooklyn Nine-Nine (yup, they swooped in and saved it from its cancellation at Fox)

Fox: Bob’s Burgers; Family Guy; Gotham (final season)

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

  • Another Batman prequel series, called Pennyworth, will follow Bruce Wayne’s butler before he comes to work for the Waynes. This idea is stupid, but it’s also being developed for Epix, which means about 55 households will be able to watch it.
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt is replacing Connie Britton on Fox’s 9-1-1, who originally only signed a one-year contract.
  • The CW announced that next season will be the last for iZombie, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Jane the Virgin.
  • There are talks that Designated Survivor is being shopped to Netflix. It was cancelled last week by ABC after execs were concerned that there was no clear direction planned for the story.
  • Speaking of The CW, Arrow star Stephen Amell revealed that the next crossover between the shows will introduce Gotham City and Batwoman to the Arrowverse. Yay?
  • TNT’s The Last Ship will end after its upcoming 5th season.
  • CBS is reportedly eyeing (get it? ‘Cause their logo is an eye?) the Mad About You revival as a midseason show.
  • Lost In Space has been renewed for a second season on Netflix
  • Fox said there are no plans for a 12th season of The X-Files after Gillian Anderson left the series. Anderson clapped back on Twitter and said that the real reason was because viewership had dropped 77%.
  • Lethal Weapon was narrowly renewed as it was announced that Sean William Scott will be replacing the outgoing Clayne Crawford. Stiffler as a cop? I feel this idea is about 10 years too late, but I might check it out.
  • DC announced a Doom Patrol series for that DC Universe streaming service that I have no faith in…
  • While we’re about to discuss a lot of shows that were picked up for the fall season, some other high profile pilots didn’t get series orders, including Gabrielle Union’s Bad Boys spin-off at NBC, the Cagney & Lacey reboot at CBS, and the Supernatural spin-off The Wayward Sisters on The CW.

Well, in what has become a tradition on this site, this is the 5th year that I’ve taken a bullet for you. That’s right: I watched ALL of the trailers for the Fall’s new shows, to give you a better idea of what’s probably worth your time, and what will most likely end up in a ditch, like Firefly or Andy Richter Controls The Universe. If you remember, last Friday was basically “Bloody Friday”, where 19 shows were cancelled within 24 hours in order to make room for the incoming shows. This week, the 4 major broadcast networks held their upfront presentations, where they presented their fall schedules, as well as introduced their incoming shows. This is QUITE the undertaking on my end, so I don’t expect ya to read all of it, but it’s here if you’re interested. So, let’s get this show on the road!

Courtesy TVLine.com

ABC

A Million Little Things (Wednesday, 10 PM)

After the success of NBC’s This Is Us, everybody wants their own non-linear tearjerker. This is ABC’s attempt at that. For starters, it’s got a great cast. I mean, it’s LOADED with folks who bring a fan base with them: James Roday (Psych), Ron Livingston (Office Space), Romany Malco (Black people). I’ve also loved Stephanie Szostak since USA’s Satisfaction, though you may recognize her from Iron Man 3 or R.I.P.D. I hope this one works out ’cause I like a lot of these people. Will I be watching? Probably not. I’ve got enough anxiety and depression without deliberately putting my emotions through a meat grinder on a weekly basis. It’s up against Criminal Minds on CBS and Chicago P.D. on NBC, so it’s the definition of “counter programming”. It’s a wide open timeslot that this show should have no problem finding a foothold.

The Fix (Midseason)

You’ve got to feel kinda bad for attorney Marcia Clark. In her own Hillary Clinton way, she’s clearly still dealing with the fact that she never got OJ Simpson. Sure, justice eventually won in the end, but not on her watch, and she’s been stewing about that for the past 25 or so years. Well, this show, executive produced by Clark, is basically “What if OJ not only did it, but then did it AGAIN?!” Here’s where this show is gonna backfire, though: this is NOT the right time for a show like this, what with the way the world is right now. From the trailer, there’s nothing sympathetic about the female lead. Some might say she’s “driven”, while others might just say she’s a “bitch”. So, she’s lost the audience. Then, you’ve got Not OJ who, while not exactly charismatic, seems way more interesting as the villain than the chick does as the “hero”. Then, throw in how the OJ thing played out in real life: the show should want you to root for her, but the Black audience (if there is one) might end up rooting for him to continue evading her. I don’t have high hopes for this one. I see it getting that Tuesday night “death slot” of 10 PM, and then being burned off on Saturdays after a few low-rated outings.

Grand Hotel (Midseason)

This just looks like a Univision adaptation of Dynasty, BUT it does go after that audience that ABC held in the palm of its hand during the early Desperate Housewives years. It’s got diversity going for it, and it’s rich Latinos instead of gangbangers and whatnot, so it’s aspirational, even if they do owe a ton of money to the mob. I think there’s something to be said for the fact that it’s being held til midseason, in that it wasn’t strong enough to launch the season on. It could also be that it didn’t, tonally, fit what they were coming out of the gate with. This could go either way, to be honest.

The Kids Are Alright (Tuesday, 8:30 PM)

Ugh. It’s one part Just The Ten of Us and one part The Goldbergs, with a dash of The Wonder Years. I’m SO tired of the Retro White Family Memories, Narrated By Some Dude Pretending To Be the Creator shows. It’s That 80s Show Syndrome. Fox said “Well, That 70s Show is doing well. How about we make That 80s Show?” Well, here ABC said “The Goldbergs has got the 80s covered, but what about the early, yet non-specific, 70s?” It’s a working class show, so it’s paired well with Roseanne as its lead-in. That said, it’s a HORRIBLE lead-in for Black-ish. If this show is smart, they’ll try to sprinkle in a witty Black kid as one of the sons’ best friends, but this family doesn’t seem like they’d fraternize with Negroes. I think Retro Fatigue is a thing, and this show could fall victim to it. It’s got a Real O’Neals vibe to it, without the gay son angle – HOWEVER, the jury’s still out on the little one, even though I doubt the show has the balls to go there in its first season, given its time period and everything. With the Roseanne lead-in, it’s really the show’s game to lose. It’s prime real estate, but does it DESERVE it, other than the fact that they’re both blue collar families? I guess time will tell.

The Rookie (Tuesday, 10 PM)

This is stupid. Look, I’ve never understood folks’ love affair with Nathan Fillion, but I also didn’t really love Firefly, so there’s that. I feel like there’s a lot of William Shatner Syndrome there. It’s like “I loved this one thing this actor did, so I’m just gonna pretend to love every other thing he does.” I’d watch this as a movie, starring Kevin James, on Netflix. This, however, is not a series to me. First off, Fillion is 47 years old, and it looks like they’re going to great pains to make him only look 40. Next, I HATE when the woman (ex wife?) tells him he was brave during the robbery. NO! From what we see, he was stupid, and people could’ve gotten killed. And let’s say this show does last 5 seasons – what’s the draw when he’s no longer a rookie? He’s just an old ass cop at that point. It’s like when Doogie Houser grew up and his whole Kid Doctor shtick wasn’t that impressive anymore after his balls dropped. The show has the Tuesday Night Death Slot – 10 PM, where ABC shows go to die. But y’all really love your Nathan Fillion, so maybe this will end that curse.

Single Parents (Tuesday, 9:30 PM)

This looks horrible, and I say that as a fan of Taran Killam and a closet fan of Brad Garrett. There’s this growing trend of shows that were clearly developed from what was originally a movie concept. You could eke 90 minutes out of this idea. A perfect 3 acts where Killam ends up with Leighton Meester, and learns how to be an adult again. Instead, to make it a show, they’re going the Community route: “Look how much these folks from disparate backgrounds have in common.” And, frankly, the ensemble isn’t dynamic enough to pull that off. I wish they’d gone with a murderer’s row of supporting characters from recently cancelled sitcoms, as these shows are prone to do. For example, I’d really love some Sara Rue on here, but I love Sara Rue in anything. Plus, this is a waste of a Modern Family lead-in, which is pretty good real estate. The one that’s really gonna suffer, though, is A Million Little Things, as this show is going to kill any potential carryover audience from Modern. I’m calling it: DOA.

Whiskey Cavalier (Midseason)

I was a little more into this show after watching the trailer because all the promo stills made me think “This shit is just Castle all over again.” Seriously, I was wondering why they didn’t just call it Rook. Anyway, this show is SO ABC that it just might work. I, however, ain’t got time for that Will They/Won’t They? dynamic, ’cause they always WILL and it’s simply a matter of WHEN (if they’re smart they’ll wait 3 seasons). Anyway, it’s being held til midseason so Cohan can hurry up and get killed on The Walking Dead. The idea of the show seems kinda fun, but I’m still hung up on the casting a bit. I don’t find Cohan that dynamic, but that’s probably because I’ve never seen anything she’s been in. At the same time, I just find Scott Foley boring. I mean, he seems to work here, but I’ve always felt the most interesting thing he ever did was marry Jennifer Garner. While there appears to be chemistry, the casting on this show just feels like ABC pulled the trigger on a bunch of talent holding deals that were about to expire. Anyway, the midseason bow gives it a better shot at renewal, and I think this one will succeed.

Scheduling Thoughts

Sunday is a bit perplexing to me. I’ve always hated that they moved Shark Tank to that night, and I feel Child Support (scheduled for Fridays at 9) would be a better companion to the upcoming Dancing With The Stars: Juniors. The Alec Baldwin Show is a vanity project that really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s probably relatively cheap to produce, and its only real competition is Madame Secretary on CBS. It’ll last either until Baldwin gets bored with it, or he hurls a slur at a staffer and the network is forced to distance themselves from him (which would, then, put Match Game in jeopardy). Meanwhile, Fresh Off The Boat and Speechless are left to fend for themselves on Friday. It would be one thing is ABC was committed to bringing comedy back to Fridays. Maybe even rebuild TGIF. This is not that. This is just a “Well, put ’em wherever you can fit ’em in.” Again, I’d move Child Support to Sunday, hold Shark Tank for a better night later in the season, and then I’d pull Modern Family to Friday as that night needs a strong anchor, and it’s in its last season, so it really doesn’t have to be much of a performer. They could even throw in Schooled, which is the horribly titled retool of that spinoff of The Goldbergs – still starring Tim Meadows and Brian Callen, but now with more AJ Michalka – which has been picked up to debut sometime during the season.

CBS

FBI (Tuesday, 9 PM)

Ah, Dick Wolf is at it again. I kinda wish they’d put this on Wednesday, so he’d be competing with his Chicago shows on NBC. I’ll bet there’s a dude at CBS whose job is just to find all the federal agencies with cool abbreviations. One day, after having his pitch for NCIS: SUV: EX rejected, he was like “Fuck it! How about just FBI?” And the network execs were like, “Wait, how’d we miss that one? It was in front of our faces the whole time!” I love how Missy Peregrym got the Mariska Hargitay SUV makeunder. One look at her, and they were like “She’s too hot. Frump her up and make her scowl a lot.” This show will do just fine. It’s Dick Wolf, who apparently knows where bodies are buried, so folks don’t like to piss him off. Plus, it’s meant for your grandpa, who’s really the only one who can tell all these shows apart.

God Friended Me (Sunday, 8 PM)

Fresh off the cancellation of ABC’s The Mayor, Brandon Micheal Hall is in a new starring role in what’s basically a mashup of Early Edition meets Touched By An Angel meets Joan of Arcadia. First off, I hate the title. I get what they’re going for, but was that really the best one they could come up with? I didn’t want to like this when I hit Play, because I initially thought this was going to be another quirky, single cam half hour sitcom. Instead, it’s a one-hour dramedy, which changes things a bit. It’s got the PERFECT timeslot, as that’s about when Black folks get home from all-day church services. I think it’ll pose some important questions, and as long as it doesn’t get too preachy, can at least get folks to think about whether there’s something out there bigger than themselves. I will point out the most interesting aspect to me, though: Facebook. Like, Facebook is basically a character in the show. Not some made up social network, like FaceSpace, or MyFace, or SpaceBook. No, this is full-on Facebook, which makes me wonder if they paid for product placement or if they were even involved in the development of the show. If they were, then I’m a little skeeved out by all the spiritual stuff, being passed down from Zuckerberg on high. Anyway, it could work. Touched By An Angel lasted 9 seasons, Early Edition lasted 4, and Joan of Arcadia lasted 2. I think that also charts the progression of America becoming more cynical. Anyway, who knows? Living Biblically didn’t work, but I think it’s because it was a terrible idea for a 30-minute, multi-cam sitcom with a studio audience. I’m on the fence with this one, but it couldn’t have possibly been scheduled better.

Happy Together (Monday, 8:30)

Let me preface this by saying I LOVE Damon Wayans, Jr. I also LOVE Amber Stevens West. I do not love this pilot. It’s apparently executive produced by James Corden, and based on a time when he lived with Harry Styles. This is another one of those “I’d see it as a movie, but…” ideas. I mean, how long does this charade last? How long can the British rocker put up with the quiet suburbs? How do you get 7 seasons out of this? Too many shows don’t seem to have the long game in mind these days, and it they end up painting themselves into a corner, creatively. I hate to turn on my folks, but this one doesn’t last.

Magnum P.I. (Monday, 10 PM)

I loved this trailer WAY more than I wanted to. Originally, I only wanted this show to succeed so that Anthony Anderson wouldn’t be the only Hang Time alum still working today. And I really wanted to hate this concept. The 80s reboots just keep coming, but this one I like. I fear it’s gonna be like MacGyver was for me, though: never watched the original, enjoyed the reboot pilot, and then never made any attempt to watch it again. Plus, are we going into this knowing the whole Robin Masters twist? I mean, are they going to play that up? Are we just supposed to play dumb? Anyway, I love this cast. Since Happy Endings, I will watch Zachary Knighton in anything, and he’s a GREAT choice for Rick. As for Magnum himself, are we gonna have an AC Slater situation, where we later find out his name is really Thomas Rodriguez? ‘Cause, I mean, c’mon… Anyway, CBS seems to be planning Monday as “Diversity Night”, kicking things off with The Neighborhood, followed by Happy Together, and capped off with this. They COULD have scheduled a Reboot Night, with MacGyver, Hawaii Five-0 and Magnum, but I’m glad they showed some restraint. The interesting thing is that there are some Tom Selleck die hards out there who may not accept this reboot, and they’re the primary CBS audience. That said, those folks have Blue Bloods now, and this is meant to skew younger. I think it’ll work.

Murphy Brown (Thursday, 9:30)

Ugh, another “zombie” show. You know, those shows that are dead, but don’t realize they’re dead, so they just keep coming? I get how the political climate kinda paved the way for this one, but did we really need it? I mean, about a year ago, The BBC did a one-off Are You Being Served? special. It was nostalgia and something new, all at once. And it was only one episode. That’s what I’d like here. What Does Murphy Brown Think of the Trump Administration? There’s an interesting special there. It’s not, however, a 13-episode series. The same way I didn’t need Roseanne throwing her views in my face through her reboot, I don’t really see what Diane English and the Murphy Brown crew have to say about the state of the world that’s not already being said by every Liberal late night talk show host. Plus, the narrative device doesn’t really work here: in TV news, how often does a network “get the gang back together”? It DOESN’T. These people would all scatter to different networks, and maybe, just maybe, end up together at CNN or something. But there’s NO WAY FYI would reach out to a bunch of former employee “olds”, as the social media guy calls them, to provide a “fresh voice” on the state of the world. Unless FYI has been retooled to be the 60 Minutes of this universe, I’m just not buying it. And let’s talk about that social media guy: I hate him. I hate that archetype because it just doesn’t work. The whole “look at the Millennial who’s all tech savvy and here to show the other characters that they’re dinosaurs.” These characters are typically brash, somewhat unfeeling, and unsympathetic. Two seasons ago, Joel McHale’s failed sitcom The Great Outdoors was built on a group of these characters, on the same network. That character is always a douche and never paints Millennials in a positive light. The trailer gives us an early dose of what to expect from him, and I feel like they could’ve left him on the cutting room floor if it wasn’t for that fact that he brings some semblance of “diversity” to the series. Anyway, I say they do their 13 episodes and they’re out, but I don’t expect this to be the Liberal counterpoint to Roseanne. It won’t nearly be as much of a ratings smash, which is sad, but is where we are today.

The Neighborhood (Monday, 8 PM)

Sigh. This just feels lazy. Cedric is here because of a talent holding deal he has with CBS, and the show has already been retooled since this pilot was filmed, as The White Guy (’cause let’s be honest, his name doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of the show) was played by Josh Lawson (House of Lies), but has been recast with Max Greenfield, fresh off New Girl. That change kinda sucks because, while I haven’t seen Greenfield in the role, I think Lawson really nailed what they were going for here: The Aw Shucks, I Love Everybody Guy. I say it’s lazy because it’s just built on the foundation of race. Without the whole They’re Black and They’re White thing, there’s really no show there. I can see how this was an entertaining pilot but, again, there’s no long game here. Does Cedric’s character mellow over time? Does he indulge in a bit of White culture? Are both families better for the living arrangement? And I’ve loved Dreama Walker since Don’t Trust The B—- in Apartment 23, but this isn’t going to do much for her resumé. Calling this one DOA, even though the cast is really strong.

Scheduling Thoughts

Nothing major here. It was interesting to see them basically pull out of Monday and focus on Thursday as their night of comedy. They had a pretty good stranglehold on Monday comedy, so it’s odd that they’d somewhat abandon it to try some diverse shows in those slots. It’s also odd that they’d waste 2 hours a week on Crimetime Saturday “drama encores” on Saturday night. Sure, it’s not the most popular night for viewership, but that’s just wasted real estate. That’s 2-4 pilots that got rejected just so they could rerun NCIS: Pittsburgh or whatever.

Fox

The Cool Kids (Friday, 8:30 PM)

This is the Foxiest show I’ve seen in a LONG time, and I love the cast. That said, I don’t care if it is from the guys behind It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. This is the kind of show Fox greenlights simply to cancel. Usually it’s to shove into that Sunday 8:30 ditch between The Simpsons and Family Guy, so I’m surprised this is being farmed out to Friday nights. Anyway, this is a One and Done show. They’ll just cancel it to give one of the Seths (Green or MacFarlane) a new show.

Cosmos: Possible Worlds (Midseason)

I get it. The last Cosmos did really well and, even though they swore it was a one-time deal, you just knew they’d find a way to bring it back. These kinds of things take time, which is why that last Cosmos was back in 2014. It’ll do fine because it’s basically a National Geographic special (National Geographic is also owned by Fox) that’s being given a wider, primetime broadcast spotlight. It’ll do what it’s gonna do, and that’ll be it. If it does well, then expect another one in 2022. If it doesn’t, well, it wraps up the unintended Cosmos trilogy. Whew! I can’t believe I got through that without even touching on my hatred of Neil deGrasse Tyson. Whoops…

Last Man Standing (Friday, 8 PM)

This Fall, Fox trades one Last Man for another, as they pick up the cancelled ABC sitcom starring Tim Allen. Now, there was a lot of kerfuffle that the show was cancelled because the star is a Conservative, and I really don’t know if that’s true or not. It was never a ratings star, but it was also on Friday nights, so the bar was much lower. Still, just like everyone wants their own This Is Us, everyone also seems to want their own Roseanne revival. So, Fox jumped at the chance to add this to its schedule – a schedule in which it doesn’t truly fit. It doesn’t feel Fox to me, but maybe that’s a good thing. It had a dedicated audience, so maybe it’ll bring those viewers to its other shows. I actually don’t hate this show. I rarely saw it when it was on, but I’ve seen it in syndication. It’s bandied about like it’s this brash, Conservative voice, but Allen’s character is pretty much painted like a dinosaur in a changing world. I mean, he’s not quite Archie Bunker, but his wife and daughters are always reminding him that the world is changing and he’d better get used to it. Unlike NBC’s save of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, this isn’t to give it a proper send-off (something it never got from ABC), but rather an investment that they’re hoping they can get a few seasons from. This will be season 7, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some deal to take them through 10 – as long as the ratings are there. I do, however, find it interesting that it’ll be going up against Fresh Off The Boat on ABC. That’s quite the bit of counter programming there…

The Passage (Midseason)

Doesn’t Fox’s schedule already have a Special Child On The Run from the Government Show in The Gifted? I don’t know anything about the books from which this was adapted, but I do know that it had been retooled a few times before it got picked up. I love Mark-Paul Gosselaar. I think it’s really impossible for anyone my age to hate him. I want him to do well. After stints on Pitch and those 4 seasons of Franklin & Bash, I really want him to get something that sticks. I’m just sick of vampires, and that’s ultimately what this show is about. Its survival will depend on its timeslot and competition, both of which are unknown at this point. Hell, Fox had Lucifer for 3 seasons, so they can probably keep this around if it finds an audience. I’m on the fence with this one.

Proven Innocent (Midseason)

Interesting concept, but I’m not sure Fox is the right home for it to succeed. You see, Fox these days seems to want to have it both ways: they want to be the 90s network that puts out worthless dreck like The Cool Kids, but then they also want to be taken seriously by airing stuff like Cosmos and this. You can’t do both. When CBS knew it wanted to change its image, and be taken seriously, we had the Rural Purge, where the joke is that they cancelled every show with a tree in it. This show belongs on ABC. It would even get bonus points if it were a ShondaLand show, but then every character would be screwing each other and that doesn’t seem like it would fit the tone of this series. Still, this is the kind of show that ABC would throw out there and probably fail with, but they would try. I feel like the only reason this is on Fox is because its executive producer is Danny Strong (remember him as Jonathan in that terrible season of Buffy?), whose Danny Strong Productions is behind Empire, and also seems to have a production deal with Fox. Still, Fox had a hit with 9-1-1, which also didn’t feel like a natural fit, so maybe if this gets paired with that, it could have a chance. For now, though, I’m thinking this one won’t go far.

REL (Sunday, 9:30 PM)

Since his role in Get Out, everybody has been rooting for Lil Rel Howery, but is it too soon for this? I’d rather see him in more movies than see him get a middling Fox sitcom. His former costar, Jerrod Carmichael, is the executive producer here, but I don’t expect this show to push any of the buttons that The Carmichael Show did. This is just a run of the mill sitcom. Good to see Sinbad, though. I’m reminded of how Fox really screwed the pooch with Mulaney, but the thing this has going for it that Mulaney did not is the fact that there’s a Black audience looking for representation. I don’t think the post-Family Guy timeslot is the best place for this, though. Hell, it ought to have gotten the post-Last Man Standing slot on Friday. They’re as different as night and day, but that’s going to be prime real estate, which is just wasted on The Cool Kids. It could be argued that folks aren’t watching TV on Friday nights, but in the DVR age, nobody’s watching live anyway. Still, for the few that are, I think scheduling should be done to keep them in mind. I’m sorry, Lil Rel, but this is a One and Done.

Scheduling Thoughts

Interesting that Fox is keeping most of its debuts for midseason. It’s not like they’re coming off the bench that strong, but I think it’s internal company politics at play, with the looming sale and everything. At the upfronts, they kept referring to themselves as New Fox, because they would no longer have to worry about how their shows play in the international marketplace. They’re taking a decidedly America First approach with their schedule, which could mean they’re gonna double down on what made them Fox in the first place. I mean, The Cool Kids and REL both feel like they’ve been sitting in a vault for the past 20 years. It’s a network that doesn’t know what it wants to be, especially in light of the fact that it won’t own its own production studio in a year. In discussing its future, some folks have even posited that they might make a play for the WWE contract, which expires with NBCUniversal next September, which means they’d lose Monday and Tuesday real estate to RAW and Smackdown. They’re a network without a master, or a roadmap, right now. One thing I will give them credit for: moving Bob’s Burgers to Sunday at 8:30. That 7:30 swing slot never worked because football is a fickle mistress, and I think it was to that show’s detriment. Anyway, another odd thing is that Fox has yet to cancel Ghosted or LA to Vegas. They both look terrible, and there have been shows in the past that were never officially cancelled, but it’d be interesting to see if they try to revive those midseason.

NBC

I Feel Bad (Thursday, 9:30)

So, I was formally introduced to star Sarayu Blue in the recent film Blockers, where she played John Cena’s wife. I like her, but it shows how much TV has changed in recent years, because just a few years ago she would’ve been the best friend instead of the lead. That’s not really a knock on her, but more so one on her resumé. Amy Poehler is the executive producer here, which is why this is on NBC. Honestly, if you put this on ABC, following Modern Family (where that horrible Single Parents is currently slotted), I think it’d have a chance. ABC is great at giving new comedic interpretations of the different types of families out there. There’s Modern, there’s Speechless, there’s American Housewife, Black-ish, Fresh Off The Boat, etc. I could go on, but you get the point. Now, it could be said they’ve reached their saturation point over there, but I still think this show would feel right at home. On NBC? Not so much. NBC is the yuppie network, loved by DINKs (Dual Income, No Kids). All of its shows have to be set in fast-paced NYC, and nobody has a great relationship with their family. This is slotted right after Will & Grace, and before Law & Order: SVU. If I were scheduling, I’d have swapped it with Will & Grace, so that The Good Place would be its lead-in, while Will & Grace can pretty much stand on its own at 9:30. I feel The Good Place and this show would share more of an audience than it would with Will & Grace. It’s not 1998 anymore, so they really need to stop holding that Thursday 9 PM slot as a “sacred badge of honor”. Seinfeld is gone and he ain’t coming back. Anyway, One and Done.

Manifest (Monday, 10 PM)

Let me start off by saying Fuck YOU J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, and Carlton Cuse. You’re why we are where we are today. Yes, this is Lost. I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but at the end of the day, it’s just Lost again. Now, why am I mad at those 3 gentlemen? Well, it’s because they started us on this road of the mythological saga that poses more questions than it answers. Before Lost, no shows had really come along with such a woven mythology, insinuating a concrete payoff. Everything matters! That’s what viewers were told to consider. The lottery numbers, the seat numbers, the smoke monster, the bear. Nothing is as it seems! And then the show ended, disappointing many, and also revealed that a lot of that shit had no inherent meaning, and they were making it up as they went along. So, just as they introduced us to that type of storytelling, their inability to satisfyingly stick the landing effectively pulled the ladder up behind them so that no one else could succeed at it. Since then, we’ve had shows like The Event, FlashForward, The Crossing – all cancelled before they really got a chance to answer what was going on. Why? Because viewers were like “Nah, I’m not falling for that again!” I skipped Lost. Just didn’t interest me for various reasons. That said, I’d actually be interested in this show, BUT I know how the game is played, and I also know that they’ll never get a chance to reveal all of their answers – if they’ve even thought of them in the first place. One and Done.

New Amsterdam (Tuesday, 10 PM)

Ugh ANOTHER damn medical show?! Pretty soon, TV procedurals are just gonna be medical shows and shows about firefighters. I saw that little twist coming. You think I didn’t, but I did. Still, it’s the kind of show that’s not playing the long game. What does season 5 look like? We gonna do the UK thing where they just bring in a new lead? I was saying on Twitter last week that I love how in the UK, no star is bigger than the show. A show could’ve been on for 22 years, with 5 different leads. It just keeps on rolling along. America’s not like that, though. Meanwhile, when did Tyler Labine get so old?! I don’t know about this one. I mean, America hates the idea of free health care, but loves its medical dramas. It’s going against ABC’s The Rookie, but it’s also getting that prime This Is Us lead-in, so I’m not quite sure who the winner is in that race. I will say, out of all the NBC shows I’ve seen lined up for the Fall, this is the one with the best shot at survival.

Scheduling Thoughts

Not a lot to say here, as they’re ultimately playing it pretty safe. Just as I said with CBS, though, I feel like NBC is wasting a lot of good real estate on Dateline Saturday Night Mystery. That’s 2-4 pilots dead, just for that. I know it’s relatively cheap to produce, but it just seems like such a shortsighted decision.

The CW

All American (Wednesday, 9 PM)

I actually like what I see here. You couldn’t do this on any other broadcast network, as shows like this are heading to places like Freeform now. I’m digging the 90210 meets One Tree Hill meets Friday Night Lights, with a dash of Black Lightning. Plus, it’s got that Riverdale lead-in, suggesting the network has faith in it. I don’t even care about its competition on the other networks, because The CW plays by its own rules and standards. I think this one works.

Charmed (Sunday, 9 PM)

OK, who thought it was time to revive this? I never watched the original, but I know it lasted 8 seasons. I mean, 12 years have passed since its finale, but between this and the Roswell reboot, it’s like someone at The CW finally got that closet opened that’s been locked since UPN merged with The WB. So many wonderful properties to reboot! We’re about 4 years away from the One Tree Hill reboot at this point. Anyway, remember how I said shows like All American were ending up on Freeform? This show TOTALLY deserves to be over there, with their shows like Siren and Shadowhunters. I mean, it might do OK on The CW, but I’m not sure. I feel like any hardcore fan base that exists for the previous iteration probably isn’t going to be too happy about this. Meanwhile, I applaud their attempt to diversify it and all, but minorities don’t get down with witches like that. If you remember, there was only one Black chick in The Craft, and her career never recovered from that! It probably needs a stronger lead-in to guarantee success. This fall, The CW expands to Sunday nights, and this will be there, preceded by Supergirl, which is far from a ratings smash. Still, if they’re going for a Sunday Girl Power block, then I guess this is what they have to work with.

Scheduling Thoughts

I’ve got quite a few here, as there are a lot of moves going on. As I said above, their foray into Sunday nights is weak. They’ll need to work to strengthen that over time. Moving Arrow to Monday is interesting, but it’s an older show so at this point it’s going to do what it’s going to do, regardless of where it’s placed. it also frontloads the week with the DC shows, with Supergirl on Sunday, Legends of Tomorrow and Arrow on Monday, and The Flash and Black Lightning on Tuesday. I’m sure this will help when planning next year’s crossover. On Thursday, after Supernatural, they’ve got the new series, Legacies, which is a spin-off of The Originals which, itself, was a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries. It’s the Good Times to The OriginalsMaude and The Vampire DiariesAll In The Family. Its trailer isn’t available right now, but I’ve got to wonder why it got that slot and not Charmed. I thought they had pretty much done everything they possibly could to the Vampire Diaries universe. Meanwhile, Dynasty is a HORRIBLE lead-in for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Friday. It’s Crazy‘s final season, though, so I guess they were just like “Fuck it! Put it wherever.”

So, who had the West Week Ever? Was it Yanny? Was it Laurel? I’m gonna look back one day, and that joke isn’t going to age well. Anyway, looking at the Upfront presentations as a whole, I think ABC and CBS had the strongest showings. Fox and NBC aren’t really taking any chances, while The CW is just shuffling deck chairs right now. For the ABC slate, there some shows that have potential, like The Rookie and A Million Little Things, but I’m just not sure yet. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure CBS has hits on their hands with FBI and Magnum P.I. Plus, they’ll get some great press for that Murphy Brown revival. So, I’m going to say that CBS had the West Week Ever.

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