22nd Jul2004

Comic Movies, Bank Breakup, and the MP3 Site Of Mine That I’ll Probably Forget About

by Will

I’m too lazy for a big post right now, but I figured it was time for an update.

Quick Thoughts:

– Bryan Singer’s directing “Superman”. Yah! …Which means no “X3”. Boo! There goes the X-Men movie franchise..

-Jessica Alba as Sue Storm in “Fantastic Four”? She’s cute and all, but I hate to admit I was more excited when I heard Jessica Simpson was up for the part…

-I started Driver’s Ed this week. Really forgot what it meant to be 15 yr’s old. No, I was NEVER like that, but it sure is weird. i don’t even get these kids. I made a “California Dreams” reference, and the room went silent. Crazy, young whippersnappers…

-Apparently, there’s a Green Lantern movie in the making, but Warner Bros is gonna make it a comedy, and they’re currently talking to Jack Black about starring in it. For every “Spider-Man”, there’s a “Howard The Duck”….

-I ended my sordid 5-year marriage to M&T Bank, due to “Irreconcileable Differences”. When the teller asked why I wanted to close the account, I simply told him, “You know…I just really don’t like you…I mean, the service is terrible, I’m tired of the charges, and you all had a monopoly where I went to college. But now….I just don’t want this anymore.” Best (and only) break-up speech I’ve ever given, thank you very much!

-For you comic kids out there, pick up The Pulse #4. One of the HEAVIEST and MOST POWERFUL talkers in recent years. Very little action, but really adds something to the whole Spider-Man franchise, especially if you’re a continuity buff like me! I LOVE Bendis!

-And for those of you who’re curious, my songs ARE up now, but the links aren’t working for some reason. I made the HTML tags myself, and I was quite proud, but they don’t seem to want to work. So, for now, just copy the URL’s and enjoy my bootlegged goodness. AND, if that doesn’t work, hope on over to http://www.freewebs.com/williambrucewestmusic/

Go easy on me, ’cause it IS a template, but it’s my first personal foray into site building. I made sure to make it the CHEESIEST, most CLICHE site around. It’s got a midi and a bubble effect. All I need now is a counter, guestbook, and a bunch of Hello Kitty shout-outs to all my girls in my ballet class.I’m not even sure it’ll stick around, but I really needed a place to store these mp3s. So, click and enjoy. Or hate. Either way, drop me a line and tell me what you think.

-Go see “Anchorman”!!! Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Funnier than Sealab, Family Guy, or Best Week Ever. Even if you hate those shows, GO SEE IT!!!

17th Jul2004

Marvel vs Disney

by Will

I’m beginning to think Marvel Enterprises LOVES the courtroom. They’re involved in so much litigation, I’m surprised they haven’t tried to make a comic/movie franchise out of their trials. First, Marvel sues Sony. Then, Stan Lee sues Marvel. Now, the big one….

Marvel vs. Disney!

This is like “Allah vs. God”. There’s no real winner here, since they’re both guilty of similar transgressions, and they both seem poised for world domination. Although, Disney never seems to lose these kinds of affairs.

Apparently, when Disney bought ABC Family from Fox and Haim Saban, Marvel got screwed over since Disney got to continue to show Marvel programming, such as the Spider-Man , X-Men & Hulk cartoons. At the same time, Disney got tons of mileage out of these shows, while preferring to promote shit like Beyblade; basically Disney only promoted Disney shows. Well, Marvel wants it’s cut. And, frankly, they deserve it. But I don’t know if Disney’s gonna see it that way. Meanwhile, Haim Saban’s wiping his ass with twenties, still wondering how such a whacked-out concept like “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” (I still love you, baby!) made him a billionaire…

14th Jun2004

True Story: Swear To God – A Review

by Will

So, I’m slowly becoming what I fear most: a fanboy. I always wondered what would happen if I withdrew from society and found my sheer enjoyment in life in the pages of comics. I knew it would be a sad, hollow, existence, but I also knew that many people lived this life. Well, I think I’m joining that crowd.

No, it’s not that my life is THAT pathetic, but I do keep finding myself intrigued and inspired by things I’ve read in comic form lately. No, I’m not talking X-Men or Batman (Although I still love you, my Gotham Savior).

No, my comic of the moment is “True Story: Swear To God”, by Tom Beland. TS:STG is a cute, romantic tale of how Tom, a cartoonist from CA, met “The One” during a fluke trip to Walt Disney World. Unfortunately, Lily, the love of his life, was a journalist who lived in Puerto Rico, meaning their long-distance relationship would take place over 15,000 miles. Tom personally illustrated the entire story of their courtship, much of it on the plane ride home from their initial meeting, and it’s all presented here. You really get taken along for the rollercoaster ride, and you completely empathize with Tom.

It’s nerve-racking when you’re waiting for Lily to come to CA for Tom’s brother’s wedding. It’s endearing the way Tom reveals exactly what’s on his mind during their first magical night, fearing he may never see Lily again. It’s hilarious as Tom sticks out like a sore thumb in PR.

I realize it’s not a book for everyone, as I’m trying to get my mom into it, and she’s just not feeling it. I swear, though, this story made me cry. It’s not sad, nor happy, but it’s beautiful. It’s simply a beautiful tale.

I think it really affects me because I know it’s based on a true story. A true story with a happy ending. Yup, Tom and Lily are married & living in Puerto Rico now. Although I never saw the movie, I think I know how Jennine felt whenever she watched “Life Is Beautiful”; The whole thing about how love can persist even through the hardest circumstances. By no means does Tom go through anything as harrowing as the Holocaust, but that whole “love pervading despite obstacles” angle really seems to apply here. Anyway, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this to anyone. You don’t even have to like comics, but it’s a cute & heartwarming tale. And I certainly don’t feel like such a curmudgeon anymore since reading it…

10th Jun2004

Brad Meltzer, Identity Crisis, Bad Ideas, and Jim Mahfood

by Will

Yesterday, I met novelist Brad Meltzer. Wonderful guy! You’ll never meet a nicer guy in comics. Did I say comics? Well, yeah. While Meltzer is currently on the New York Times Bestseller List for his work, such as “The Millionaires” and “The Zero Game”, he’s also been dabbling in comics for the past few years. His latest masterpiece is called “Identity Crisis”.

“Identity Crisis” follows a murder mystery in the DC Universe (Superman, Batman, but no Spidey or Wolverine). While the ID of the vicitm isn’t the focal point, the mystery IS. This storyline promises to shake up the world of comics for years to come. Now, they ALWAYS say this, and it’s RARELY true, but I really believe that it’ll be a great story, consequences or no.

So, I read the issue last night and was DYING to call James and tell him about it, but since he has a “No Spoiler” clause in our contract, I knew he’d jump through the phone and strangle me like I was a Cornell Republican or something. Anyway, I KNOW he’s gonna hate who the victim is. PLUS, LEX LUTHOR’S FRIGGIN BATTLESUIT WAS IN THE BOX!!! THE PURPLE AND GREEN ‘SUPER POWERS’ SUIT!! HE’S ALIVE….Sorry James, guess you can just call me “Joe Sabia”…

Speaking of comics, if anyone has a nice little neighborhood comic shop, I implore you to try to find a copy of Bad Ideas #1. It’s written by Jim Mahfood and a bunch of other guys, and basically they’re making fun of all the dumb ideas people submit to them when they’re at conventions. “Why don’t you guys write an anime story? Why don’t you write about a comic fan who meets a really hot girl and they both get powers?” These questions and others are answered here, in hilarious fashion. Also, the art’s by Mahfood, who has an awesome underground graffiti style going on. To see more of his work, check out http://www.40ozcomics.com

03rd Jun2004

Was That You, Lady Deathstrike?

by Will

So, yesterday in the store, this stunning girl came in. Not supermodel stunning, but incredibly captivating. She had amazing skin, the “cliche lower back tattoo”, low rise jeans, the works. But here’s the stuff that really made an impact. She had a pierced navel, causing me to notice she also had all these little scars across her stomach.

Not C-Section scars or stretch marks or anything, but definitely scratches. In fact, she looked like she might’ve been one of Wolverine’s victims or something. They had healed, but there were still all these errant claw scratches on her. She had beautiful eyes, although she rarely made eye contact. She walked up to the counter, and handed me a belt she wanted to buy. A surprisingly feminine belt, considering she seemed kinda badass. On the counter, as she was about to pay, she put down her backpack and her ….motorcycle helmet!! This chick was awesome.

As she walked away, my manager walked by her, and looking at me, said, “That’s one hip chick! She looks kinda like…Lenny Kravitz”. She walked out of the store with her Aviator glasses on, helmet in one hand, and backpack in the other. When she was gone, I knew I should’ve said something to her. Not like, “Wow, I should’ve gotten her number!” Anyone who knows me knows that’s not how I think. I would’ve loved to have had a conversation with her because I KNOW she had a story to tell. With her style, her scars, and just the scenario, I think I may have met one of the most intriguing people to cross my path in some time. Plus, I REALLY wanna know where the scars came from.

04th May2004

The Return of Lippart!

by Will

Today’s Episode: “The Citadel of Herndon” (A 2-Part Adventure) Episode #: 05102201

Special Guest Stars: Tam, Darien

Returning Cast Member: Eric Lippart

So, it started out as any other Friday. I was kinda excited ’cause when I got to work, I noticed I was stationed in the fitting room, and that’s my favorite station. No, I’m not a pervert, but I always have funnier stories to tell about the fitting room. The next thing I know, there’s Tam. For all of the uninformed, Tam’s my pseudo-cousin. Very long story. Regardless, H&M, on Mean MILF Island, was the last place I expected to see her. Anyway, she was just shopping for stuff for her trip to Miami. Apparently, she’s been working hard lately, and decided she deserved a vacation. *&^%ing successful people with their *&^%^ing successful plans! We chatted and we’re supposed to hang out sometime this summer ’cause she’s on all kinds of guest lists for clubs and parties. It’s weird how we’ve gotten closer in recent years, when we used to be kind of warring. She had the pseudo-street cred, while I was a laughing stock Alphonso Ribeiro.

After she left, he walked in the door. I didn’t notice him at first. In fact, I wondered, “Who’s the sketchy guy leaning by the pillar?” I had to run out to do a price check, and that’s when I noticed. LIPPART. Yeah, we’d talked recently, but I hadn’t actually seen him since October. He was certainly a sight for sore eyes. The first chance I got, I finagled my 15-min break, even though we were 15 minutes from closing. We chatted and tried to make plans for when I was done with work.

When I got back in the store, Bridget, one of the girls who works there, asks, “Who’s your friend?” In a tone I didn’t really like. “What the hell kind of question is that?” I fire back. “He’s my boyfriend! Is THAT what you want me to say?” Yeah, I know it was a bit harsh, but I didn’t like her tome, and you’ve got to meet her to understand this girl. She’s young. She’s 18, but she’s still “young”. Kinda immature. I just wasn’t in the mood. Turns out, though, she thought Lip was cute. Wanted the 411 on him. (Do people still say “411”?). The more I told her (He’s got a good job, Master’s degree, etc), the more she was into him. I decided to have a little fun, so I just kept pouring it on. She doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell, but it at least made the time pass quicker.

Once done, I met Lip and his friend Darien at Silver Diner, where we discussed South Park and our mail-order bride of a waitress. Once that was done, we weren’t really sure what we were going to do next. We dropped off Darien, and then it was off to Eric’s.

This is when it got weird. Since I hadn’t seen him in awhile, I really didn’t know what to expect. I had a feeling that must be akin to how a girl must feel when she’s on the way to some guy’s house she just met in a bar. The whole, “Am I gonna sleep with him? Well, I’m headed to his house, so I must plan to sleep with him debate”. No, I wasn’t thinking of it along those lines, but I was curious, “Am I going home tonight, or am I sleeping in Lip’s guest room tonight?” I didn’t care either way, but I just wanted to be sure before I missed the last train back to MD.

So, we’re headed to his place, and I see what I can only describe as a citadel. I’m about to ask him what it is, when I notice we’re headed for it. In fact, we pull up right to it. Turns out, he lives in said citadel! I forgot the name of the development, but it is one of the sweetest places I have ever seen! And it only gets better inside. I am SO impressed with his decorating skills. I may have introduced him to H&M, but someone else introduced him to Pottery Barn and the Bombay Company! I couldn’t have decorated any better. in fact, it just motivated me to want my own place to try my hand.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. So, he’s giving me the grand tour, and I can’t believe my eyes. The flat screen TV, the faux fireplace, the courtyard view! Why is this man single, I ask? I told him he needed to post pics of the place online, and any woman’d want him. His place looks as if it has a woman’s touch, but he did it all himself. Definitely a place any woman would feel comfortable in.

Then, I find out there’s a super market, McDonalds, Subway, Gold’s Gym, Chuck E. Cheese’s, Irish Pub, and many other specialty shop SUPER MINI-MALL right across the street. Every convenience was thought of. Everything right at your fingertips. We go to the pub, Ned Devine’s, and have a few drinks. It was at that point, I realized I wasn’t seeing MD that night.

We went back and watched Kill Bill, which looked almost as amazing as it did in the theatre, thanks to Lip’s amazing entertainment center. I passed out and had the best sleep I’d had in days.

Saturday, we watched X2 and had Chinese, while Lip looked for job postings at his company. He’s trying to help me out by looking for anything in HR. We mainly spent the day watching Queer Eye and Batman, til that night, when we went back to Ned Devine’s. At around 2 AM, he drove me back to MD.

All in all, it was a great weekend, and I’m sure I left out some stuff, but that’s the main gist of it all. I’m just glad to have him back in the cast.

24th Apr2004

The Law Of Continuous X’s

by Will

“Comic Law #433: The “Law of Continuous X’s” – An X-Title can never truly be destroyed … it is only reshaped into a new X-title. Thus, it shall appear that when one X-title is canceled, it is immediately replaced by another”

So true…

22nd Apr2004

Where In The World Is Justin Timberlake?

by Will

I’m going to shoot myself for asking this, but Where’s Justin Timberlake? I mean, a few months ago, you couldn’t get even get in an elevator, without being accosted by some form of Rock Your Body or that infernal “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle. Now, it seems like he’s fallen off the earth. I hear he’s filming some movie as a reporter, but I miss my JT fix! There’s only so much Uncle Jesse/Mystique drama I can take, especially since I predicted the end of that marriage YEARS ago. “Have mercy”, indeed.

21st Jul2003

Which X-Man Am I?

by Will

Jubilee??!!

jubilee
You are Jubilee!

Though you may be young and inexperienced, you have
great potential and will someday become an
admirable figure. For that to happen, though,
you must overcome your juvenile belief system
and adopt a more mature view on life.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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